Does Your Ex Boyfriend Still Care About You? Let’s Find Out Together!

185 thoughts on “Does Your Ex Boyfriend Still Care About You? Let’s Find Out Together!”

Liz

September 17, 2016 at 6:50 pm

So my boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago.. In the beginning we had not done no contact but I have finally completed an entire no contact period of 30 days. Even though I did not initially do no contact, do I still have the chance of it having the same effect? Also, what do I do now that the no contact period is over?

Liz

September 21, 2016 at 8:52 pm

How should I initiate contact?? I know I should talk about something that we did in the past that would bring back a positive memory but I’m not sure exactly how to begin a conversation in that way
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 11:43 am

Check this one out:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Liz

September 20, 2016 at 12:49 am

I’ve improved a lot which I wasn’t expecting. I’m much happier and I feel a lot better than I did when we were in slight contact after our break up.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 5:06 pm

then there’s a higher chance that it can have a good effect
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 7:06 pm

Hi Liz,

it depends.. How much have you improved during and after this no contact?

Oli

September 16, 2016 at 11:55 pm

Hmm what if this is a guy who you were never official with but are off and on with who likes things you are tagged in and comments on your fb profile photos, sends you 15-25 messages a day including unsolicited dick pics but yet will NOT invite you anywhere and gets weird when you hint at meeting up? I don’t know how tondealnwith this anymore.

I’ve posted before because I thought this guy was maybe questioning his sexuality but now I think maybe there’s something else happening here. He exhibits behavior that fall on the asbergers scale like a fsilure to understand how to empathize and respond to emotional issues. He also can start relationships but certainly cannot maintain them so most women wind up being one night things to him. He’s also very socially awkward and has a very strange vocabulary. There’s many other things I think are indicators but these are just a few. How do you deal with a guy like this and do these rules even apply ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 8:13 am

Looks for now, all he wants is really just sex…He hasn’t found that somebody that he will commit for or he has but she got away

Kelsie

September 16, 2016 at 2:46 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago I was his first girlfriend In three years as he didn’t trust any girls and it took him that long he said when he met me he was looking for love but couldn’t miss the opertunity with me.. he broke up with me aftee a perfect relationship for 10months because I wasn’t ready to have a baby and when I did i did he was very happy I wasnt and didn’t want to have the baby but after a few weeks I came around I Lost the baby at 3months and he broke up with me saying that he loved me but we obviously wanted different things and that he hopes I’m happy and goodbye I havent heard from him in a month do you think there is a chance that he will change his mind I am 21 and he is 25 part of me wants to forget him because of what he has done but a bigger part of me misses him and wants to work on things but is it too late?

Thank you

Kelsie

September 18, 2016 at 1:58 pm

Yes I am on day ten
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 3:08 pm

I dont think it’s too late.
but you have to improve yourself during nc..dont just stop talking to him
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 12:29 pm

Hi Kelsie,

are you in no contact now?

Nikki

September 16, 2016 at 5:51 am

Hi, it’s been two months since I reconnected with my ex and I feel he’s starting to warm up to me and beginning to show care and express more personal details to me in our texts exchange. However when I hinted I’m heading home soon (I moved away for work for 1.5 year but now am moving back), the tone of his texts went cold and guarded again. Why do you think that is?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:58 pm

Hi Nikki,

maybe he doesn’t want to move too fast.. just shrug it off..

Emma

September 15, 2016 at 2:04 pm

Hi Amor,

My boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago. I did NC, built rapport, he tried a FwB situation and I said no, he tried to friendzone me and said we can’t be in a relationship as we are too different. I reverse friend zoned him and started dating someone and used reverse psychology and said I don’t want to jump into a relationship with him. Then he was interested in me. We went on a few dates. He didn’t try to push me for sex. Now he invited me to his birthday this Friday. The issue is our group of friebds are separate and if I go to his birthday his friebds would start speculating what’s going on. He hasn’t invited any of my friebds so Im just worried I will be in a awkward social situation if I go to his birthday party. Plus I am scared of acting jealous as he is inviting several of his female friends. Do you suggest I skip the birthday or bring a date or something else?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 1:48 pm

Hi Emma

if he invited you, you don’t have to think about what his friends will say. That’s his job. It’s his birthday, I don’t think it’s nice to bring in a date with you.

rose

September 15, 2016 at 8:51 am

hey. my boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks after a period when we were fighting kind of often and he said he needed some space because it was too much. of course we were fighting because he started to loose his temper sometimes. we were 2 years together and I was his first serious relationship. Unfortunately he was childish and his ego was huge and I was always the one solving the fights. After we broke up I saw that he still has the pictures with me on instagram and when we re out I can see that he is looking at me. He even tries to make me jealous by talking with other girls in my presence. I used to ask for explanations every time he did that but he s not talking much. Like once he hugged me at a club and I asked why and he said I don t know. And this week I was out and we ignored each other and he was out talking and half hugging an ex highschol friend and he came after 2 hours at me to ask me how am i and he was like’ seriously are you ok?’ I didn’t say anything about the girl. It s confusing because I love him but I don’t know his feelings. btw I didnt text him for 8 days now.

rose

September 17, 2016 at 4:49 pm

and when I went to ask him in the club yesterday how is he feelin he talked a bit but didn’t even look me in the eyes…….he was avoiding eye contact. I don’t understand when he is drunk he comes to me but when he is sober he is distant somehow
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 12:47 pm

Hi Rose,

that means he’s not really ready to talk.. When you asked about how he’s feeling that means you have to restart count of no contact.. do you want to ?

H

September 15, 2016 at 12:05 am

My ex boyfriend and I have dated twice and each time I broke up with him because he wasn’t giving the relationship what he knew he should have been. Each breakup was for different reasons however. I’ve known him for a bit over 2 years and our relationship started off as long distance-those two times that we broke up. I went to go see him after a year of meeting him(in basic training) because he had begged me and was still completely infatuated by me and said that he loved me. We were always super close and he was so happy to see me. I broke up with him because his female roomate at the time did not respect our relationship. I went to go visit him again months later in February when we got back together. We had one bad night out which led to him not sharing a bed with me for my last few nights there so I broke up with him which may have not been the right thing to do but I was feeling horrible. Now we both live in the same place, we had each moved. He moved here first because he said I was going to be moving here. The first night here I slept over at his place and we went out to lunch the next day. Everything seemed like it went very well. The next couple weeks it seemed really tough for him to make time for me outside of work which was irritating so I didn’t try to talk to him for about two weeks. Then over the weekend we were both drinking and ended up sleeping together. In the morning we just cuddled and he seemed happy and then hugged me before leaving for work. However that night I found out that he is talking to other girls, even trying to hangout with them. It hurts that he’s trying harder to spend time with them than he has with me when I’ve been so important in his life. I asked for some clarification last night and he told me that he cares about me but can’t see us being in a relationship right now. I know he has a lot of stress right now and we’re both young, just turned 20. I pretty much been saying he is having a life crisis. He’s not the sweet amazing person I used to know. I’m not sure if he said “right now” thinking it might make me feel better or if he’s hoping I stick around. Most of the time he won’t text back but yet I see him giving attention to other girls he barely knows. His family says that he loves me and cares about me but I know he also has a hard time showing his feelings. To me he is really the one, he has brought up marriage and kids in the past for our future. I would like to think there is still a chance and he really does love me but just isn’t ready for a relationship, maybe with anyone that is, right now and is going through too much himself. But I need a clear thought whether or not it’s worth thinking he may grow up and we will be together. I understand that if a guy really wants to be with you and wants a future together he likely wouldn’t risk any possibility of losing the girl or would just be with her.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 11:00 am

Hi H,

so when was that break up and when did you last talk?

Kaitlin

September 14, 2016 at 8:51 pm

Me and my ex have been apart for a month now. Our relationship was very bumpy with us breaking up multiple times but I want it to finally work.
We chose to stay as friends, even though we still have sex. Recently, our friendship has been awful. He knows that I am interested in him and just a few days ago, he said that I can ask him out when I next see him. Then the next day, he messages me saying he has seen a girl who he finds attractive. He never met her before but he said that he would ask her out next time he saw her.
Also, we are both negative people. I try not to be mean to him, I just get jealous easily and bad things happen alot. This causes him to say that he hates me, that I am mean and he says I’m butthurt. He can say some really nasty stuff. He expects me to not be angry at him after he says all that. Usually I say something back or end our skype calls which makes him more mad and he says it’s why he doesn’t like me. He also hates my voice.
All this negativity has made him want to find a girl who isn’t me. I want him but I dont want either of us to get negative or for him to hear my voice and dislike it.
If I start the no contact rule, he could easily go to my house and question me since we both live on the same street. I can’t not let him in since I live with my parents and they’ll let him in anyway. If he does come over, it might end with him having sex with me since he is really perverted. Half the time when we see each other, he just wants to grab my breasts or talk about other girls who are ‘cute’.
What should I do to get him back? Even with all these negatives, I still want him and the no contact rule will be ruined if he comes to my place to confront me. If I do the no contact rule, it will be a lot easier for me to be less of a negative person, I just don’t know how to go about this.

Kaitlin

September 14, 2016 at 8:54 pm

Also, I think we are tired of each other. We talk everyday and if I suggest us not talking for a day or two, he doesn’t like it and persuades me to not do it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 9:22 am

Hi Kaitlin,

How old are you both? Have your own decision. You can do that. Talk to him and tell him you need space and time for yourself because you it’s not in your character to do the things you did. Don’t ever sleep with him again if you’re not official. Don’t give over the power to decide about your life because that’s your life. You don’t have to blame but yourself, so, take responsibility. It’s good that you want to do no contact now to change, that’s the first step. Do 45 days and if he comes over and he talks about wanting to continue being friends with benefits, just firmly say no. You don’t have to be angry. Just say no, I’m not that person anymore and then continue on improving yourself.

Mallory

September 14, 2016 at 2:00 pm

Okay so I read does your ex still care about you and the thing is he hasn’t tried contacting me at all. I deleted him from all social media because I found myself looking constantly on his stuff. He has been talking to some other girl but I still have quite a bit of his stuff at my house from when he left. So am I just supposed to move on? He hasn’t contacted me at all since the 26th except for when I told him he needed to come get his stuff and he said he wasn’t in town. So what do I do? I am so confused I have read so much of the stuff on this page and ordered the pro version of the book read it. Its all confusing because now I feel like this is telling me to move on because he probably didn’t care about me anyway. I want this to work but I am now just lost on what my next step is or to just get over him completely. I need help

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:14 pm

move as if he has moved on… Start over.. Approach as friends only and then rebuild rapport.. Move as if you didn’t have history but only good memories

Sabrina

September 13, 2016 at 6:02 pm

Hey there, first thank you for all the good articles on this website – I really appreciate it a lot. My best friend gave me that advice.
At a glance: Me and my boyfriend met last Christmas during our semester abroad. First being friends we got more attracted a few weeks before we had to return home. Problems started, because we now no longer lived together in one student house, but 3hrs away from each other and had difficulties to agree a bit in advance on our dates as he is more the spontaneous guy. Still everything was very good and romantic. Till I found out that he was kind of flirty texting sometimes with other girls (“babe”, heart/kiss emoticon). He is also really into instagram and I didn’t like the fact, that he was liking other girls all the time while sometimes ignoring my latest posts. We started to argue more and more, sometimes without a hard reason (because I wasn’t keeping myself busy and did the mistake to let him be my centre of interest). More or less he broke up with me because I wasn’t feeling comfortable anymore, but came back after 2 days. Still my situation didn’t change and started with arguing again, which led to the fact, that he broke up with me last week stating that he is not certain about his feelings, that I am still important to him, he values that I am pretty and smart and that we fit together very well, but that he is uncertain because of all the arguing, which he can’t stand and that he might come back, because he regrets that decision or – not… but that he either wants to commit to me 100% how I deserve it or not. And that I shouldn’t be worried that he will take another girl now, because he doesn’t want to have a relationship at the moment because he is not made for it. At the end of the call we talked a bit calmer, started some dirty talk (don’t ask me how it happened) and facetimed. In the end he said goodbye with good night with my nickname and made me aware of the fact, that he’s giving me a kiss now.
So we didn’t talk until I accidentally sent him a messenger invitation in the night when he returned from partying, he called me several times, I called him back after I’ve seen it and he said he was worried that something happened. End. Texted me the next day again. When I asked him why he askes me something he said “just because”. This is were I implemented NCR.
What happened until there: He was the first one watching my snapchat story, out of the sudden he liked pictures of my best friend which he never did, once he was liking both of my new instagram pictures and one of his best friends contacted me to just ask where the last picture was taken.
I know, that the purpose of NCR is also to recover yourself. But I am now at a point, that I am asking myself – why that behaviour? What is it giving me? What are the factors, that I see that NCR is successful or not? I mean he didn’t text or call me. There is nothing to ignore at the moment. You know what I mean…

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 15, 2016 at 4:16 pm

Hi Sabrina

it looks like he is curious because you’re ignoring him.. we cant guarantee that nc will work but later on, when you start to build rapport again after nc, you can check this article for signs if you are progressing with him:
The 6 Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back?

S021-969

September 13, 2016 at 12:24 pm

Hi, the guy I was seeing only for a short time around 2 months broke up with me stating that he was not over his ex and that he needed time for himself and that he wishes he was in the right frame of mind for me now.. Throughout the time I was with him he was the one to act all comitted inviting me to meet parents and like 30 of his family at dinners planning holidays together and stuff then he went quiete and then broke it off he offered to be friends and unfortunately I didn’t know about Th NC and was attempting to contact him which I think backfired .. I have since commenced the NC rule about 2 weeks after I should have do you think there is any hope?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Hi S021-969,

I think there is but you have to take your time. Read this one too: EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Lekesha

September 12, 2016 at 7:44 pm

Hello. I was in a 5-year relationship with my ex. It was long-distance for about 3 years, but we would facetime daily. We broke up mutually last October. Since then, we’ve stayed in touch via text and occasional phone calls on average once a week and sometimes more often. The whole staying in touch and remaining friends was going well. Every time he’s been back in town, he has reached out to meet up so we’ve met up in person for casual drinks about 2-3 times now. We’ve even talked about meeting in a different city before, but logistically did not work out.

The last couple weeks have been somewhat difficult for me. A series of weird bad luck events happened to me and it made me miss him a lot more. He has always been my major support system for the last several years…however, I did not reach out or tell him about all the stuff that was happening to me. While we were texting, I offered to fly into one of the cities he would be at for a night to just meet up and have a nice meal. He was hesitant and said that it probably wasn’t worth the time/effort for me to just fly in for half a day. I said I didn’t mind and then finally I said that it probably isn’t a good idea and I just saw it as a temporary escape for all the stuff happening around me. I said it would be best to go separate ways and that I was sorry for even bringing up the idea. He then responded a couple hours later that “we are doing well and can continue to be really good friends so meeting up in this city probably isn’t the best” — this was about 12 days ago. Since then, I’ve felt like it was a break-up all over again. Except this time it felt like he was breaking up with me. He’s texted twice since then, but I have not responded. I thought it would be good to give myself some time and maybe I hoped that me not responding would make him miss me more… anyways, he hasn’t tried contacting me again and its been 10 days since his last text. I told myself to do the NC for at least 21 days, but now I’m afraid it’ll give him time to move on even more. It’s been almost a year since our break-up and we’ve been friendly since. Should I continue NC or just go back to being friends? I keep wondering why he hasn’t reached out, especially since he is now back in town. Maybe he thinks I need some time alone so he’s stubborn?
Nora

September 11, 2016 at 8:10 pm

Hi, my ex broke up with me because “his mom wants him to marry someone else”. Kindly note thats common thing in the middle east (getting married to the girl of parents’choice). He went out of his ways to tell me he doesnt love me and he doesnt want to be with me. I respected his wishes and cut him off for 3 months without not even 1 single contact. I deleted him from my snapchat a month after the breakup (i find it pointless to keep an ex on social media). A week ago, i received an add request from on snapchat at 3 or 4 AM. I accepted, he watches everything i post, mind you i followed the NCR and also, ive been seeing a nice guy lately.
Please advise me what to do, what does he want? I came to peace with him dumping me.. what does he want from me.

Nora

September 18, 2016 at 8:00 am

Hi Amor,

Thank you very much for your lovely comment.
Besides to living my life to the fullest and take good care of myself, shall i contact him? I haven’t contacted him since almost 4 months and he just recently re-added me on snapchat, what do you suggest?

I really trust your opinion <3
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 1:46 pm

yep, you should message him and then slowly build rapport
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 3:42 pm

Hi Nora,

he misses you.. You can’t control him so the best you can do is to just maintain yourself. Be the best you can be, and let’s hope he sees you as the better option than the girl he’s supposed to marry. Most of the time, being you, being your best and just living your life makes you beautiful. Confidence, makes you shine, and you will feel confident when you know you’ve been maintaining yourself. Confidence, is attractive to other people and when he’s current gf notices that he’s more attentive to you, it will create jealousy.. And he will probably defend you because you’re not even doing anything, you’re just living your life and you’re not attacking the other girl. You will appear as the good guy in his eyes.

Isabella

September 10, 2016 at 9:28 am

First of all i wanted to thank you for all of your advice and help! All of your articles have really helped me out and made me laugh along the way!
I’m looking for a bit of advice on how to handle his reactions, as he keeps bringing up our past together.
We were together for 3 years, but it’s been 9 months since I broke up with him. He dated other women during that time and i dated other men. I’m completely fine with knowing that, as we weren’t together. However, he seems bothered by the fact that i dated other men, and doesn’t believe that i didn’t sleep with anyone because i have quite a high drive. Now i haven’t slept with anyone else because i wasn’t interested enough, and i still cared for him, yet no matter what i say he doesn’t believe me.
He also keeps bringing up our past arguments and the breakup, saying i did this and that and how hurt he was etc. I asked him what he wanted and said he wants to take things easy and gets all defensive when i mention it, or offer to talk about it all. Yet I never bring up our past, I’m quite happy to take things as they are right now and simply enjoy our time together.
We are sleeping together, and I’m actually enjoying how easy and relaxed things are. We’re not in a relationship but he has asked me to go out on an actual date with him in a couple of weeks when he gets back from a business trip. My issue is that he keeps asking if I’m going to miss him, if I missed him while we were apart etc. He said that he never stopped loving me while we were apart, and doesn’t want me to leave when I spend the night with him. I feel as though he needs constant reassurance from me, yet at the same time he doesn’t want to discuss anything. Even though I’m enjoying our time together I’m starting to feel a little drained from constantly reassuring him, and going over our past together.

Is there anything I can do/say to reassure him? Or do I simply wait it out?

Isabella

September 12, 2016 at 9:45 am

Ah! Okay, thank you!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 7:20 pm

You’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 7:20 am

Hi Isabella,

Thank you! Have a talk with him or text him what you wanted to say so that he would have to read all of it before answering you.

Leana

September 9, 2016 at 6:38 pm

Isn’t those last articles exactly the oppossite of what Chris is telling us?
You are telling in those few articles pretty much “forget him”. I can agree with you but Chris was telling different so I’m a little bit confused.

Kevyn

September 18, 2016 at 10:57 pm

I agree 100%
Leana

September 12, 2016 at 10:49 pm

I don’t want to be rude or anything like that but the main reason why I like this site is because it’s giving us hope. Hope and the strategy for getting him back. This article isn’t unique, those suggestions and advices we can read all over the Internet “forget him, he doesn’t deserve you, move on”. It’s generic. No offense. Every text that Chris writes is unique. Because it gives us something that we can’t read anywhere else. He won’t say those general advices “forget him, yo girl”, except if he really thinks that about some particular case. Cara said what I meant. Chris was telling us just the opposite. And I can understand that you need aquintances but I like the old site more. When I open this page, I don’t open it for some girl power generic paroles, I open it for advices and even if it is advice about moving on forever, I want it more specific. This just isn’t good. Too many words for nothing. And I know that Chris will defend this text, after all he has chosen members of his team but I don’t like it. It is the first time that I don’t like something on this site. Chris had an amazing text about moving on forever but this isn’t like that. If you want to encourage us to move on from ex, this is not the right way.
I know Chris doesn’t have a lot of time but please, don’t make this site boring and not-unique. Keep it the way it was, the way we love it.
Cara

September 10, 2016 at 6:05 pm

This advice contradicts the Podcast about Facebook and what it means when a guy likes your pictures or posts.
The article here states:
“Girl, come on.It’s just a picture or a post online. It’s not like he sent a gold crested eagle (Do those even exist? I think I made that up) delivering a message telling you he’s happy you had a good time last weekend.. ”

AS Opposed to the Podcast by Chris tht states “It does mean something that he liked your picture or post. ” Chris goes on in the podcast to explain it’s a low risk way for the guy to get your attention and if you ever ask him about it he can just say “well it was just a like” , etc.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 9:42 am

Hi Leana and Cara,

I’ll forward this first, so they can respond to you both.. Thank you for voicing out your concerns.
Cara

September 10, 2016 at 5:54 pm

I found myself thinking the same thing that this article contradicts what Chris explains in his articles and podcasts. For example, the guy liking something on your facebook or “unfriending ” you is the exact opposite of one of Chri’s podcasts where it indicates that it’s a huge sign they are missing you, or trying to get your attention.
Another podcast and article explains the reason’s he’s making you jealous is because he’s emotionally invested to a certain extent and want’s your attention. And Chris went on to state that it likely means your ex subconsiciously wants you back. Or that if if a guy is angry it’s the opposite of apathetic and that usually means they have some type of emotional investment in the girl, the past, etc.
I too can appreciate the advice in this article, but I’m finding that it contradicts A LOT of what i understood and read in Chris’s articles and podcasts.
Chris Seiter

September 9, 2016 at 8:49 pm

Hi Leana,

Do you mind expanding a bit on this for me?

What last articles exactly?

Cara

September 9, 2016 at 4:45 am

Okay, so what if they selectively like your new pics and DON’T defriend or block you? That means nothing too? IN my case, my ex rarely likes my pics but when he does I can tell it’s usually a lead up to him texting me. Also, he likes my pics the next day or after the “likes” and comments have stopped from other friends.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 10:17 am

That’s good. That means he’s easier to read. But don’t rely too much on just him liking your posts.

Cuddling

September 9, 2016 at 1:18 am

Quick question. I have been trying to get my ex back for 6 months. I did NC started speaking. He wanted to be friends at first. Then he tried to have FwB and I made it clear no casual sex. Then he tried to friend zone me again till I started dating someone else (casually). This is when he started being interested in me. We ended up kissing and cuddling and falling asleep. Nothing sexual. Now my ex lives nearby and insists on sleeping next and cuddling up to me every night. I have pretended to fall asleep early a few times and not reply. But I was wondering if cuddling with limited availability (few times a week) is OK because it did help us get closer or if he is using me for intimacy or pushing me again towards FWB? Or should I stop with this cuddling/ sleeping next to each other?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 9:23 am

It does help but we all know what he wants girl.. try to leverage that. Don’t always do it. Make him miss you..
He will want to level up to sleeping with you, so make him feel that some nights you have your own thing and if he doesn’t make a move, he’s going to lose you.

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185 thoughts on “Does Your Ex Boyfriend Still Care About You? Let’s Find Out Together!”