He Broke Up With Me And Told Me He Needs Time

I have almost three associate degrees from the local Junior College.

Almost, because I am one of the world’s greatest procrastinators.

Along with being a procrastinator, I’m a perfectionist.

Ask Chris. I am always riding my deadlines down to the last minute, sometimes past that.

(Edit From Chris: It’s true, I had to email her to see when she was going to finish this article.)

I am one class short of my third degree, a Business Degree.

One of the most interesting and stressful classes I ever took was one on creative writing. And one of the most fun and most interesting conversations I have ever had was when I ran into my teacher. We sat down and had a glass of wine and talked about the millions of extension requests that she gets every semester.

There were people that gave her the old, “my dog ate it” routine. But the one she said she almost always would give extensions for was open writing assignments

“I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know what I wanted to write.”

She said that she could always tell when people were lying.

Human nature responds to the collision of emotions and rational thought with something that is called cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is the reason I found myself interested in psychology in the first place.

If you don’t know what that is let me educate you.

Every single person on this planet has experienced this feeling. It’s that feeling when you hate someone but you still kind of understand the reasons behind their actions.

As I said, EVERY single person on this planet, that means you too.

Common sense says that you just thought about a time when you had conflicting emotions.

Why is it so common?

Every single person who has ever gone through puberty knows the feeling.

All of those things your parents tell you not to do as a child, that you danced along the edges when deciding what to do as an adult.

If a man has made a decision to call off a relationship with you, you can bet that, unless you are a horrible person that you know of, at some point he has questioned that decision.

So, think back to a time when you had to ask for more time.

Go ahead, I’ll give you a minute.

I bet it didn’t even take you twenty seconds to remember one of the times you had to ask for a reprieve.

Why? Because even the most brown-nosing straight A student has her off days and needs some more time.

There are few words more daunting after a breakup when you are hoping for an explanation and instead you get “I just need some time.”

I mean generally when a woman would say that it would have a hundred different meanings.

We are so complicated, us women.

But men…

men are so much more likely to be straightforward.

When a man asks for time, he usually means he wants time, space, and distance.

Most men want straight forward. Most men want black and white. Most men want to be as far away from drama even if they are the ones that caused it.

So, what does it mean when he says he needs time to… and… something else. Generally, when anyone makes a declarative statement and then follows it up with a qualifier, the qualifier usually holds a bit of truth to it.

Everyone has a set of basic human needs. It isn’t as big on the scale as physical needs, like food, water, sleep, and safety, but self-actualization is important. Feeling like you have some semblance of control over the things that happen to you falls somewhere in between esteem and safety. Sometimes that means taking a moment to yourself and taking a step back to look at your life.

Men back away from things for various reasons, because they are stressed, either because of something within the relationship or outside of it.

In every relationship, there is a dominant partner and a submissive partner.

Don’t get excited. I’m not talking  Fifty Shades type stuff.

I’m saying that one person gives in a little more than the other, makes sacrifices to keep the relationship going. In turn, they lose things. The power shifts to one side of the relationship.

There is a reason I spend so much time repeating myself when I say that a relationship is a partnership… a partnership… a PARTNERSHIP!!

Whew.

Breathe.

If you can’t tell I believe in this.

There’s always truth to the things we say, even the lies, at least some truth.

So, when your boyfriend says he needs to take some time to himself, you can bet your butt that any reason he gives after that has SOME truth to it and you can tell by WHAT he says.

Most people don’t know what they want in a relationship.

In my experience, feeling that unbalanced weight of the relationship shifts to one side triggers a fight or flight response.

So, in the interest of staying positive about things, we are going to assume that your ex actually needs time and it wasn’t just an excuse to break things off.

What did his reason he gave mean? And what does it mean for you?

He Needs Time To “Figure Himself Out”

If he says he needs time to “figure himself out” then it’s likely that, on some level, he has let his autonomy escape him. Feeling like you aren’t living up to your potential is scary! When we are on our own, it is easy to give your full focus to your goals and achieving them, becoming the person you want to be.

If your ex needs time to figure himself out, it likely means that he feels like he has lost sight of his goals and ideals. It isn’t uncommon for the line between couples’ goals to become a little blurred after the weight of decision making begins to shift back and forth.

My guess is that your ex has realized how out of focus the views he had before the relationship have become and he is trying to remedy that feeling.

In every relationship, making the other person happy starts to take precedent over the things we see as important. Then keeping the relationship from derailing takes precedent. No one wants to be the reason things didn’t work out, so focus shifts to efforts not to rock the boat.

Did your ex put in a lot of effort into making you happy at the beginning, possibly over his own desires?

Did he give in when tensions rose later in the relationship in order to keep the peace?

If you see similarities in this scenario and your ex said he needs to figure himself out, then your next move should be to focus on how you can establish a more healthy relationship that takes into consideration what he wants.

He Needs Time To “Get His Life In Order”

If he says he needs time to “get his life in order” then it’s likely that he lost control of something in his life. Tell me you haven’t ever been in a situation in which your world felt like it was spiraling out of control. I bet you can’t.

They say time flies when you’re having fun. But being in a relationship kind of turns the rest of your life into a funnel.

Everything that happens, every choice that you make goes through a filter of, “How will this affect my relationship?”

I understand that line of thinking.

It’s what happens when you feel comfortable with someone. You think of the two of you as one unit.

But, suddenly it dawns on you that you are an us and you realize that if you ever weren’t an “us” your solo life would be out of control.

Realizing this makes a man feel like he needs to pull the things in his life into a pile and jump in the middle of it and flail around until he feels like it is his again.

If you find yourself in this situation. Your best bet is to get your own life in order. Why?

Well… the best part about this is that you have some serious power here.

Power you say?

Well, if he is truly struggling to feel like he didn’t lose a grasp on his life completely, then seeing that you were okay with not being in a codependent relationship will give him a reason to drop the fear that coming back will strip him of having his own life.

Dig in. Make your life your own. And when you get through No Contact and get the opportunity talk with your ex to rebuild even a casual relationship, show him that you have no intention of letting him sacrifice his interests.

He Needs Time To “Sort Things Out”

If he says he needs time to “sort things out” then it’s likely that he doesn’t even know what needs sorting. Usually, this means he has choices and he’s not sure what he wants to do about it.

Most men are afraid to be tied down. Having options means he has a way out if he wants one.

When someone says they need to sort things out, it is likely that they have found that they have options and they’re testing the waters.

Maybe he got an ego boost because girls were flirting with him.

Maybe someone else showed interest.

Maybe he got a taste of the single life.

And maybe he just saw other people who were happier or doing the couple thing differently.

Whatever triggered his decision, if you find yourself in this type of situation, your only option is to rise above it all. Do not give into the emotional drivers that make you want to jump up and down and say,

“I can be better! I can be whatever you want! I can make you happy!”

You don’t need to grovel. Besides… it wouldn’t work.

Every man needs to know that a woman who is PERFECTLY FINE on her own CHOOSES to be with him.

You have to be strong during No Contact.

Put every effort into being better at being solo.

It has the double perks of making him a little jealous and also making him feel like getting back together is in his best interest, like being with you is a privilege.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

He Needs Time To “Work On Himself”

If he says he needs time to “work on himself” then it’s likely that he feels like he has let himself go on one if not all fronts.

If a man admits that he needs to work on himself, it is obvious that he finds something about himself unsatisfactory. But all men feel that way in some manner of speaking. All people do.

No one is 100% happy with themselves.

I have a friend who is a beautiful specimen of a man. Sure his face is not the American standard of beautiful, but he is a gorgeous and smart man.

You know what he asks me regularly?

He asks me if he should dye his hair.

He asks me if he should get a tan.

He asks me if he should focus on getting down to 4% body fat.

This beautiful and smart man doesn’t see how gorgeous he is… all he sees is his flaws.

I’m telling you… my friend isn’t just a 10 he’s a 14, and he will never see it.

This one, this situation, your only response is to move forward in your life.

Build yourself up. Read this article on getting on the right track and building confidence.

And then, when you get done with no contact, maintain your stature.

Don’t beg for him back. Compliment him on any progress he’s made, but the key is to not lay it on thick. And then withdraw.

Do you know what stakes a man puts on a woman?

What value he places on her?

I mean sure most of them look at women and find them attractive or not attractive, hot or not.

That’s at the beginning when they aren’t sure if they want to jump in just yet.

But when it comes to a relationship and whether or not to keep it, that decision doesn’t hang solely on whether or not he loves her.

It also balances on how having her in his life affects his life.

Chris calls this “becoming the Ungettable Girl.”

I am saying that every man wants to become someone they shouldn’t have access to.

Someone that’s cooler, hotter, and out of their league.

I think that if your ex is feeling like he’s lost control of any aspect of his life, then he is going over every decision he’s ever made. That means at some point he WILL review his decision to call things off. Usually, this will be after he’s had a moment to get a few of his other ducks in a row.

If, when he does, he sees that you are better than he thought you were, better that YOU thought you were, he’ll realize he made a mistake.

So, what I am I telling you to do?

Be a baddass.

Be the most baddass version of yourself that you can be, 100%, full-tilt.

Now, some of you are picturing the women you look up to.

But, check out this article, about women who grasped at their full potential. Some of them just did small things that had a large impact.

All I am saying is that you shouldn’t wait around or chase after him.

Be great and awesome on your own. He’ll see it, and he’ll realize that letting you go was the biggest mistake he’s ever made.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Ashley.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

EBR Team Member: Ashley

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87 Comments on "He Broke Up With Me And Told Me He Needs Time"

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Carly c
Guest
My ex and I met through his brother. It was a long distance relationship but we made it work really well and saw each other often.. he was very consistent and called every morning and FaceTimed everyday on his own. Been dating a year but felt like a lifetime. 3 days after I returned home from seeing him, he called me like he always does.. said he needed to talk… told me when I left he talked to his young kids and asked how’d they feel if I moved in.. then he continued to tell me the kids loved me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi carly,

The nc rule is not guaranteed but it helps increase your chances, so yes start the 30 day nc rule.

Carly
Guest
My ex and I met through his brother. It was a long distance relationship but we made it work really well and saw each other often.. he was very consistent and called every morning and FaceTimed everyday on his own. Been dating a year but felt like a lifetime. 3 days after I returned home from seeing him, he called me like he always does.. said he needed to talk… told me when I left he talked to his young kids and asked how’d they feel if I moved in.. then he continued to tell me the kids loved me… Read more »
Carly c
Guest
My ex and I met through his brother. It was a long distance relationship but we made it work really well and saw each other often.. he was very consistent and called every morning and FaceTimed everyday on his own. Been dating a year but felt like a lifetime. 3 days after I returned home from seeing him, he called me like he always does.. said he needed to talk… told me when I left he talked to his young kids and asked how’d they feel if I moved in.. then he continued to tell me the kids loved me… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi carly,

The nc rule is not guaranteed but it helps increase your chances, so yes start the 30 day nc rule.

Carly
Guest
My ex and I met through his brother. It was a long distance relationship but we made it work really well and saw each other often.. he was very consistent and called every morning and FaceTimed everyday on his own. Been dating a year but felt like a lifetime. 3 days after I returned home from seeing him, he called me like he always does.. said he needed to talk… told me when I left he talked to his young kids and asked how’d they feel if I moved in.. then he continued to tell me the kids loved me… Read more »
Jensen
Guest
Hi my ex boyfriend and I dated for a little over two years. We were in love with each other very much but the past three months or so before we broke up my depression got really bad and I started to get needy and clingy to him. For weeks he said “I don’t feel like myself anymore” and then he broke up with me but he had hung out with me 2 days before he broke up with me and things seemed great and that we both loved each other. Then once he broke up with me he didn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jensen,

How active are you in improving yourself and in posting in social media?

Jensen
Guest
Hi my ex boyfriend and I dated for a little over two years. We were in love with each other very much but the past three months or so before we broke up my depression got really bad and I started to get needy and clingy to him. For weeks he said “I don’t feel like myself anymore” and then he broke up with me but he had hung out with me 2 days before he broke up with me and things seemed great and that we both loved each other. Then once he broke up with me he didn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jensen,

How active are you in improving yourself and in posting in social media?

caitlin
Guest
My ex and I dated for three years and about 6 months ago we broke up because he had other things to focus on like graduating grad school and finding a job and an apartment or if he was going to move back home. Which he chose to move back home which is on the other side of the country but we talk every day and he says he see a future with me but not now or soon but maybe later… But he is confused and always sends mixed signs and idk what to do anymore? I really feel… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Caitlin,

What did you tell him when he says that? Are you going to do the advice above?

caitlin
Guest

My ex and I dated for three years and about 6 months ago we broke up because he had other things to focus on like graduating grad school and finding a job and an apartment or if he was going to move back home. Which he chose to move back home which is on the other side of the country but we talk every day and he says he see a future with me but not now or soon but maybe later… But he is confused and always sends mixed signs and idk what to do anymore?

caitlin
Guest
My ex and I dated for three years and about 6 months ago we broke up because he had other things to focus on like graduating grad school and finding a job and an apartment or if he was going to move back home. Which he chose to move back home which is on the other side of the country but we talk every day and he says he see a future with me but not now or soon but maybe later… But he is confused and always sends mixed signs and idk what to do anymore? I really feel… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Caitlin,

What did you tell him when he says that? Are you going to do the advice above?

caitlin
Guest

My ex and I dated for three years and about 6 months ago we broke up because he had other things to focus on like graduating grad school and finding a job and an apartment or if he was going to move back home. Which he chose to move back home which is on the other side of the country but we talk every day and he says he see a future with me but not now or soon but maybe later… But he is confused and always sends mixed signs and idk what to do anymore?

Sierra
Guest
I’ve been dating this guy for 5 months now and things haven’t been going well for us he says he’s been busy I know for sure he has another job and is going to school. But we had plans to go out and he didn’t text me or anything so essentially he stood me up and there has been a lot of problems. For example, when I asked him about where the relationship was going he went off the radar and I have talked to him and let him know that we can go our separate ways several times but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sierra,
then stop letting him do that by keeping on being there.

Sierra
Guest
I’ve been dating this guy for 5 months now and things haven’t been going well for us he says he’s been busy I know for sure he has another job and is going to school. But we had plans to go out and he didn’t text me or anything so essentially he stood me up and there has been a lot of problems. For example, when I asked him about where the relationship was going he went off the radar and I have talked to him and let him know that we can go our separate ways several times but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sierra,
then stop letting him do that by keeping on being there.

Ana
Guest

Hi we planned of getting married and he backed off. Then we had the talk, he said that one of the causes of our break up was distance. When I asked him if he wants to continue the relationship he said “Not this time” and asked me if we can be friends, I said
No. He said he is confused right now if he wants to continue the relationship, he also said we would meet again on my birthday that is four months from now, then he would make a decision.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

That’s too far from now.. are you going to do the nc rule?

Ana
Guest

Hi we planned of getting married and he backed off. Then we had the talk, he said that one of the causes of our break up was distance. When I asked him if he wants to continue the relationship he said “Not this time” and asked me if we can be friends, I said
No. He said he is confused right now if he wants to continue the relationship, he also said we would meet again on my birthday that is four months from now, then he would make a decision.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

That’s too far from now.. are you going to do the nc rule?

Shannon
Guest
Hi. Me and my ex were dating for 4 months when out of the blue he broke up with me. Here’s a little background information. We were friends 11 years ago in high school. Lost touch and then he reached out to me in the beginning of September. We started a long distance relationship as he is in the army and lives in a different state. Everything was fine. Non stop face timing, texting, phone calls. I even went out to see him twice within the 4 months. He brought up that I was the one, talked about marriage, kids,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Shannon
Guest
Hi. Me and my ex were dating for 4 months when out of the blue he broke up with me. Here’s a little background information. We were friends 11 years ago in high school. Lost touch and then he reached out to me in the beginning of September. We started a long distance relationship as he is in the army and lives in a different state. Everything was fine. Non stop face timing, texting, phone calls. I even went out to see him twice within the 4 months. He brought up that I was the one, talked about marriage, kids,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Dinkysaurus Rex
Guest
I’m in a situation where my ex-partner has cited some of these as the reasons for our break up (we broke up Nov 2017). We were together 6 years and both very much in love, he even stated it was only the last month of the relationship where everything seemed to get on top of him. Everyone (my family and his family and friends) agree that he seems to have blown a fuse. It’s not the first time I have seen this situation as his sister broke up with her girlfriend 6 years ago for the exact same reasons and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dinkysaurus Rex
Yeah, there’s a chance..

Dinkysaurus Rex
Guest
I’m in a situation where my ex-partner has cited some of these as the reasons for our break up (we broke up Nov 2017). We were together 6 years and both very much in love, he even stated it was only the last month of the relationship where everything seemed to get on top of him. Everyone (my family and his family and friends) agree that he seems to have blown a fuse. It’s not the first time I have seen this situation as his sister broke up with her girlfriend 6 years ago for the exact same reasons and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dinkysaurus Rex
Yeah, there’s a chance..

M
Guest
My bf broke up with me a week ago (2 days before thanksgiving). Our relationship was great until the last month where we argued mostly about how he doesn’t have much time to spend with me. He works full time and bartends almost full time. He says he loves me and cares very much about me but unable to make me happy. I begged that we work things out but he said that timing isn’t right. I’ve started NC 3 days ago. He texted me twice on two different days to make sure I’m doing okay. So far no other… Read more »
M
Guest
My bf broke up with me a week ago (2 days before thanksgiving). Our relationship was great until the last month where we argued mostly about how he doesn’t have much time to spend with me. He works full time and bartends almost full time. He says he loves me and cares very much about me but unable to make me happy. I begged that we work things out but he said that timing isn’t right. I’ve started NC 3 days ago. He texted me twice on two different days to make sure I’m doing okay. So far no other… Read more »
Ajay
Guest
Hey a guy and I were seeing each other for 4 months. When we met he had just came out of a long distant 3 year relationship. Everything was fine and things were moving a bit fast but he told me he hadn’t fallen for someone as fast as he did with me. He did however say he wasn’t ready to date again but he would date me when he feels ready. Two weeks ago he was attacked and not long after that he told me he we need to just be friends because life is short and he hasn’t… Read more »
Ajay
Guest
Hey a guy and I were seeing each other for 4 months. When we met he had just came out of a long distant 3 year relationship. Everything was fine and things were moving a bit fast but he told me he hadn’t fallen for someone as fast as he did with me. He did however say he wasn’t ready to date again but he would date me when he feels ready. Two weeks ago he was attacked and not long after that he told me he we need to just be friends because life is short and he hasn’t… Read more »
Evan
Guest
Hello, my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 months, and things were so good and he tried so hard in the beginning of the relationship, and we had a few differences after a few months, then the last two-ish months he has been being a bit more distant and his heart really has not been in it. So about a month ago he said he wanted space and he kept saying that he didn’t know if he wanted this and that he needs space. I was hurting so I bothered him and I was annoyed so I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Evan,

how old are you both? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Evan
Guest
Hello, my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 months, and things were so good and he tried so hard in the beginning of the relationship, and we had a few differences after a few months, then the last two-ish months he has been being a bit more distant and his heart really has not been in it. So about a month ago he said he wanted space and he kept saying that he didn’t know if he wanted this and that he needs space. I was hurting so I bothered him and I was annoyed so I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Evan,

how old are you both? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Emily
Guest

Hi,

My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. We’ve had conversations since and slept together a couple of days ago. I want him back but he says he doesn’t short-term and needs time. He still loves me and I love him but I don’t know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Emily
Guest

Hi,

My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. We’ve had conversations since and slept together a couple of days ago. I want him back but he says he doesn’t short-term and needs time. He still loves me and I love him but I don’t know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Tracy
Guest
I am wondering if you can help me. My boyfriend (30) of 18 months broke up with me (28) 3 weeks ago today over a silly argument. He said he wanted time on his own. We are a couple who get on like a house on fire and we have mutual physical attraction. We text all the time and spend a lot of time together. I think this is where we have went wrong: spending too much time together. We hadn’t been doing things with friends or date nights or doing things on our own. I think this is due… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tracy,

Are you in the nc rule now?

Tracy
Guest
I am wondering if you can help me. My boyfriend (30) of 18 months broke up with me (28) 3 weeks ago today over a silly argument. He said he wanted time on his own. We are a couple who get on like a house on fire and we have mutual physical attraction. We text all the time and spend a lot of time together. I think this is where we have went wrong: spending too much time together. We hadn’t been doing things with friends or date nights or doing things on our own. I think this is due… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tracy,

Are you in the nc rule now?

Completely Confused
Guest
My bf of one year broke up with me last night because he says he’s just not happy. We weren’t fighting or anything. I just asked why he hasn’t been texting as much – if everything was ok. The thing is, we just spent a fabulous weekend together, and broke up during a nice evening together. We have fun, really enjoy each other’s company, and he says I’m wonderful, beautiful, the most kind and that he’s never loved or been loved any better in any way. We aren’t pushing the other for anything more, and he says I’m his best… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Don’t agree to be friends and then start at least 30 days nc..

Completely Confused
Guest
My bf of one year broke up with me last night because he says he’s just not happy. We weren’t fighting or anything. I just asked why he hasn’t been texting as much – if everything was ok. The thing is, we just spent a fabulous weekend together, and broke up during a nice evening together. We have fun, really enjoy each other’s company, and he says I’m wonderful, beautiful, the most kind and that he’s never loved or been loved any better in any way. We aren’t pushing the other for anything more, and he says I’m his best… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Don’t agree to be friends and then start at least 30 days nc..

Completely Confused
Guest
My bf of one year broke up with me last night because he says he’s just not happy. We weren’t fighting or anything. I just asked why he hasn’t been texting as much – if everything was ok. The thing is, we just spent a fabulous weekend together, and broke up during a nice evening together. We have fun, really enjoy each other’s company, and he says I’m wonderful, beautiful, the most kind and that he’s never loved or been loved any better in any way. We aren’t pushing the other for anything more, and he says I’m his best… Read more »
Completely Confused
Guest
My bf of one year broke up with me last night because he says he’s just not happy. We weren’t fighting or anything. I just asked why he hasn’t been texting as much – if everything was ok. The thing is, we just spent a fabulous weekend together, and broke up during a nice evening together. We have fun, really enjoy each other’s company, and he says I’m wonderful, beautiful, the most kind and that he’s never loved or been loved any better in any way. We aren’t pushing the other for anything more, and he says I’m his best… Read more »
Sofie
Guest
I need all the help I can get! My boyfriend and I dated for almost a year and it was a pretty toxic relationship. He broke up with me and I ended up doing the no contact rule and ultimately we got back together 3 months later. Almost another year later, and in a much better, stable relationship, he tells me he needs time for himself because we are both still young (I am 25, and he is turning 30), he is still living at home, and he needs to focus on his business taking off. I felt like I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Sofie,

what do you mean that you saw him out? As in you just saw him alone outside and didn’t approach or you went out with him to talk? I’m not sure if it’s an excuse, but most of the time it is, but this time, I think you should do at least 45 days, and yes initiate contact if you want to try to get him back.

Sofie
Guest
I need all the help I can get! My boyfriend and I dated for almost a year and it was a pretty toxic relationship. He broke up with me and I ended up doing the no contact rule and ultimately we got back together 3 months later. Almost another year later, and in a much better, stable relationship, he tells me he needs time for himself because we are both still young (I am 25, and he is turning 30), he is still living at home, and he needs to focus on his business taking off. I felt like I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Sofie,

what do you mean that you saw him out? As in you just saw him alone outside and didn’t approach or you went out with him to talk? I’m not sure if it’s an excuse, but most of the time it is, but this time, I think you should do at least 45 days, and yes initiate contact if you want to try to get him back.

jen
Guest
this is a great article! ive followed all of the advise on the website and through podcasts and i went out with my ex last week. last night he got really jealous (again) and really angry so i used it to my advantage and finally got him to open up and be honest about how he feels. hes said he loves me alot and he even went with someone else to try and feel what he felt with me but got nowhere near. we both lost sight of our own needs and both got into a stressy mess trying to… Read more »
jen
Guest
this is a great article! ive followed all of the advise on the website and through podcasts and i went out with my ex last week. last night he got really jealous (again) and really angry so i used it to my advantage and finally got him to open up and be honest about how he feels. hes said he loves me alot and he even went with someone else to try and feel what he felt with me but got nowhere near. we both lost sight of our own needs and both got into a stressy mess trying to… Read more »
jen
Guest
this is a great article! ive followed all of the advise on the website and through podcasts and i went out with my ex last week. last night he got really jealous (again) and really angry so i used it to my advantage and finally got him to open up and be honest about how he feels. hes said he loves me alot and he even went with someone else to try and feel what he felt with me but got nowhere near. we both lost sight of our own needs and both got into a stressy mess trying to… Read more »
Lisa
Guest
Hi! My ex and I are together for less than a month. He broke up with me 4 days ago and told me that it’s better for us to stay friends. That we don’t need complications in our lives. For the times we were together, i have been a brat and my mood swings and our unreasonable/petty quarrels turned him off and now he sees me as a complication in his used to simple and carefree life. At first i just agreed. But after 2 days, we talked and i told him that i can’t accept us being just friends… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Have you talked?

Lisa
Guest
Hi! My ex and I are together for less than a month. He broke up with me 4 days ago and told me that it’s better for us to stay friends. That we don’t need complications in our lives. For the times we were together, i have been a brat and my mood swings and our unreasonable/petty quarrels turned him off and now he sees me as a complication in his used to simple and carefree life. At first i just agreed. But after 2 days, we talked and i told him that i can’t accept us being just friends… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Have you talked?

Sam
Guest
My situation is unique . I’m a Canadian living and working England. I’ve been here for almost two years and my visit is about to run out and is not allowed to be renewed. I applied for my Italian citizenship as well as to law programs in England for this upcoming fall . I have recently wanted a change in my profession and decided to finally take the leap. It is important to note I have gotten accepted to my programs and my ex is aware of this. My ex broke up with me officially a few days ago .… Read more »
Sam
Guest
My situation is unique . I’m a Canadian living and working England. I’ve been here for almost two years and my visit is about to run out and is not allowed to be renewed. I applied for my Italian citizenship as well as to law programs in England for this upcoming fall . I have recently wanted a change in my profession and decided to finally take the leap. It is important to note I have gotten accepted to my programs and my ex is aware of this. My ex broke up with me officially a few days ago .… Read more »
Sam
Guest
My situation is unique . I’m a Canadian living and working England. I’ve been here for almost two years and my visit is about to run out and is not allowed to be renewed. I applied for my Italian citizenship as well as to law programs in England for this upcoming fall . I have recently wanted a change in my profession and decided to finally take the leap. It is important to note I have gotten accepted to my programs and my ex is aware of this. My ex broke up with me officially a few days ago .… Read more »
Sam
Guest
My situation is unique . I’m a Canadian living and working England. I’ve been here for almost two years and my visit is about to run out and is not allowed to be renewed. I applied for my Italian citizenship as well as to law programs in England for this upcoming fall . I have recently wanted a change in my profession and decided to finally take the leap. It is important to note I have gotten accepted to my programs and my ex is aware of this. My ex broke up with me officially a few days ago .… Read more »
Rebecca
Guest

WHOA. You have no idea how much I needed to read this. Like Ru Paul always says, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?” I think that while we, as ladies, are working to improve ourselves, we forget that maybe sometimes guys may be struggling with this as well! Sure, it kind of sucks to split in this way, but the best thing to do is keep moving forward. Great read!

Rebecca
Guest

WHOA. You have no idea how much I needed to read this. Like Ru Paul always says, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?” I think that while we, as ladies, are working to improve ourselves, we forget that maybe sometimes guys may be struggling with this as well! Sure, it kind of sucks to split in this way, but the best thing to do is keep moving forward. Great read!

Rachel
Guest
Hi! My boyfriend and I broke up on May 3rd through text ( harsh I know) because he said he hates it when we fight (which was only once since we got back together from our previous downfall in October) I stop talking. I decided to approach him calmly and asked if we could have a respectful and calm discussion about It in person so he agreed. I stopped talking to him until that day where he showed up right on time. The whole time he cried and told me he loves me and that it’s both our faults and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hi Rachel,

you’re and off plus it’s so obvious he wants to friendzone you.. so it would really be better to do at least 30 days

Rachel
Guest
Hi! My boyfriend and I broke up on May 3rd through text ( harsh I know) because he said he hates it when we fight (which was only once since we got back together from our previous downfall in October) I stop talking. I decided to approach him calmly and asked if we could have a respectful and calm discussion about It in person so he agreed. I stopped talking to him until that day where he showed up right on time. The whole time he cried and told me he loves me and that it’s both our faults and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

hi Rachel,

you’re and off plus it’s so obvious he wants to friendzone you.. so it would really be better to do at least 30 days

Fredericko
Guest

Awesome article Ashley! Very insightful

Fredericko
Guest

Awesome article Ashley! Very insightful

EBR Team Member: Ashley
Guest
EBR Team Member: Ashley

Thanks, Fred! You know I believe in our ladies more than anything. They have more potential than they will ever know. Soon enough their exes will realize it too.