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Suzie
May 21, 2017 at 2:24 pm
Hi I want to know if there is any possibility that my ex
Might contact me again .
Obviously I want to believe he misses me and will regret leaving me .
I don’t think he will . I think he is determined to keep moving on .
Cheers Suzie
Suzie
May 28, 2017 at 1:21 am
Thank You . I have been hoping for contact as I’m struggling to move on .
I miss him far more than I thought I would .
I also think he has moved on .
He has done this many times over .
His relationships since divorced never go further than 3 years at the longest .
He always says the same thing for each one . He just couldn’t get it to work.
I believe he found it difficult to cut me off even though he wanted to and did so to make it easier for him to move on .
He had a ten year history with an on again off again Partner . Never lasting longer than six months . She kept dumping him .
I know he has stayed in relationships when he knew at an early point that it wasn’t going to go the distance .
All this worried me that I would become another one of his failed attempts and he would stay not being sure without me realising it .
Crazy but my son said he could have fooled him , he thought he was in love with me . So did my daughter .
I’m not going to risk contact . I’m certain he would reject me further .
It’s possible with a lot convincing in a moment of weakness he might see me but Im not the woman he wants .
It’s painful . All I can do is one day at a time .
Cheers
Suzie
May 26, 2017 at 11:34 am
Hi , He walked out during angry with me 7 weeks ago .
At first I didn’t realise that he had dumped me . After a few days I realised he wanted out .
He didn’t contact me again .
I finally couldn’t handle no contact . After 5 weeks I texted him to please call me .
It took 2 text messages .
We spoke he didn’t give exact reasons .
He said the time away from me made him realise that we didn’t have a future .
He thought we are in different paths ? A bit confusing as I’m retired so not on any path in particular .
My impression from the conversation was he had lost interest and wanted to free up his time .
He was very cold and uncaring .
I did not ask to try again .
He suggested maybe we could be friends down the track . I was very hurt and declined .
He does not stay friends with his exes . I mentioned this and he said that’s true but with me it might be different .
I assumed at this stage he only saw me as some sort of friend .
I said Goodbye . He was reluctant to reply and said this is hard .
I told him the damage had been done . It was the second time in a year he had got angry with me and cut me off .
He isn’t usually an angry guy.
Both times it was over feeling pressured that I wanted more time from him and not accepting his lifestyle ( lives on a boat ).
We were together for 2 1/2 years . The last year has been long distance but not far . 1/12 hour drive.
He visited every WE.
It’s been 2 weeks since our only phone chat.
There has been no contact on either side .
Cheers
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2017 at 4:02 pm
well, it’s more likely that he has moved on.. if you want to try again, approach it from that perspective.. that means rebuilding and starting over, instead of hoping or trying to grasp if there is still something left from him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 22, 2017 at 7:45 pm
Hi Suzie,
when and why did you break up?
Konfused
May 18, 2017 at 3:08 am
Wow, I should have seen this article earlier when I broke up with my ex.
My ex and I broke up but we were in the same project group. He always tell me he cares about me and stuff. Any time we get intimate, he seems to be happy with me but then when we are outside he behaves weird and pushes me away from him. I told him he should give me space so that we don’t regret in future, he told me now is the time we needed each other so I shouldn’t say that. He calls me to buy food and other things for me, celebrated my birthday. Just last 3 days we had s**, and he made a comment which i didn’t like. He realize I wasn’t fooling or anything so he came to tell me he was sorry and things. Just yesterday he’s started showing that his weird behavior meanwhile he was so happy with me the previous days. Should I do him the no contact rule thing. And do you think he still likes me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2017 at 9:15 pm
when and why did you break up? how long was the relationship?
Lolol
March 6, 2017 at 11:05 pm
…Cripes… This article really sums up how my ex boyfriend dealt with our breakup. He used the out of sight and mind method before crazily coming back to apologise for being such an idiot to me after realising I’d cut him off social media…why oh why did I ever message him back??!…I’m certain he just wanted to ascertain that I still loved him before he then continued he wants to date others ‘right now’ (still won’t admit to ruling me out completely after six months apart)….I feel like such an idiot. He talks to me like ‘I’ll always be here if you wanna talk’ and ‘I care about you and you mean something to me’ ‘I have to follow my gut feelings’…then why try and apologise to be on good terms again doofus?!! ..obviously wants to know I’m still interested in the background..so my recovery goes back to square one and I have to face more hurt. I deeply regret not taking the upper hand through his desperate sounding apology message and running with it!!!! :-@
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 5:45 am
Hi Lolol,
that’s ok..just make up in the present by being more focused in yourself
Christine
February 11, 2017 at 8:03 pm
Hi again,
And we’ve planned to meet at his place and we’ve agreed not to have sex. I’ll control myself because I’m willing to have him back.So is there hope for me. How should i act?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 13, 2017 at 3:48 pm
Hi Christine,
move on.. at this point, it’s so clear that he’s just using you..he knows what to say to you because he knows how you feel about him and he knows that he can convince you and abuse you..
Christine
February 11, 2017 at 7:50 pm
Hi?
The guide was really helpful but i would want to know about my situation. Well my boyfriend and I broke up last year and i was his fwb. I have not had sex with him though since last year and decided to do no contact. He texted while i ignored and called a couple of times. After the no contact i contacted him and he replied. I told him about what i hated In the relationship and all the wrong things he used to do that didn’t make me comfortable. I then told him, if he wanted us to be friends he should give me space for a while but he kept on contacting me.
He is even engaging in conversations unlike before when he used to ignore me before i did no contact. He’s brought up sex talks and I’ve told him we can’t have sex unless he commits. I have told him that every time he brought up sex talks and he has agreed to not do it. He would ask me things like,why wouldn’t i concider the fact that he has never had sex with another girl ever since he knew me and after the breakup. How do i even trust him really and know this isn’t only about sex ? How do i know if he is lying or telling the truth? He would tell me that he wants us to start as friends and that he trusts me even if i cheated on him with his friend but i would insist on not having sex if we are friends unless he commits. He asks me to trust him and that he’s not a fuck boy.What should i do about this?
I have also done him favours like sending him money to have his phone repaired. Is that wrong since we are friends? Is he really staying friends hoping for benefits or does he really mean his words? How do i know the difference and what should i do? Will he commit? I’m really patient with him. Please help me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 13, 2017 at 3:49 pm
Hi Christine,
move on.. at this point, it’s so clear that he’s just using you..he knows what to say to you because he knows how you feel about him and he knows that he can convince you and abuse you..
Fifi
January 19, 2017 at 3:16 am
I came across your site and thought I’d like to share my experience with my ex. We broke up in November as I became to attached to him and not giving enough space to him. However, 2 weeks post breakup he agreed to travel together, since we’ve booked a trip together. After, when he leave for Christmas holidays in Europe for two weeks, he wished me on my birthday and Happy New Year. He contacted me when he is back in town informing me he bought me some gifts and we met again over weekend and spent the long weekend together. However, he did not keep in touch with me on weekdays like he used to. Last week, he invited me for breakfast on Saturday morning and I bring along my friends to join in the breakfast. On Sunday, he texted me for breakfast again, and I proposed to meet him over dinner and he agreed to it and we had dinner together. I am going to observe if he will text me again this coming weekend to meet me up.The whole point is in this situation, why is he behaving this way? Is he interested wanting to get back together or I am just wasting my time with him stringing me along? Whats your opinion on this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 20, 2017 at 3:41 pm
Hi Fifi,
so you never did nc? there’s a chance that there might be feelings of wanting you back but there’s also a chance that you’re friendzoned
Pilar
December 21, 2016 at 9:54 pm
Broke up with my ex bf 6 months ago and The problem Is that he won’t let me move on. We tried getting back together once and it lasted a day. The first time I broke up with him because he was acting distant and the second time he broke it off because I stormed out of his house because he wouldn’t talk to me about what was going on. He only said he was scared to get hurt again and he was not the same person anymore. Every couple of months when he thinks I am dating someone else or I am over him he would initiate contact and mentioned us getting together or us talking and I have agreed but the first two times he came up with excuses when it came down for us to go on a date and this last time he really made me mad. He contacted me late at night and was wanting to make plans to go out on a date the next night, he even asked for my parents to come along. I agree but because of his history lately I didn’t mention it to my parents, the next morning he texted me to cancel as I figured he would. I ended up deleting him from Facebook because I can’t move on while we are still friends. I dk why he does this, he has gone as far as telling me he loves me. He said he is damaged and wants to be ready for me but I swear he goes back and forth. He has been divorced for a few years but I don’t think he ever got over the fact that his marriage was a failure. I love him but I can’t deal with the hot and cold. Even wonder if every time he messaged me was because he was lonely or drinking. Is he playing mind games, or is he really confused?
fifi
January 22, 2017 at 2:09 am
we had limited contact sort of connection i suppose. is it possible to implement the NC from now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 23, 2017 at 11:14 am
yes, you can still do full nc
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 26, 2016 at 10:15 am
Hi Pilar,
he might be really confused, or he likes the feeling of just having you but not committing..if you really want to move on, just dont answer him
Oktavia
November 10, 2016 at 4:20 pm
Hi, I’ve been thinking about this lately. I’ve been in no contact rule for 3 weeks, he texted me a couple times but it’s more like he’s upset with what’s going on, maybe he thinks I’m just playing with his feelings and all of his sacrifices. -a little flashback- So all of this time we have been in a relationship and he really spent his time for me, we did campus project together and we even know each other family. My parents are being supportive towards the relationship because they see him as a good person, nice, polite, and all of this good boy criteria. He introduced me to his parents too and they are very open to me, they even send me souvenirs whenever they go back from vacation. So we have a really great time, really great time until my mother has this faith that I will be with him in the future. But things went wrong and we broke up very badly. I can’t even tell who initiate the break up, but what makes me desperate is the fact that he probably hate me because he think I played with his feeling and he feel like anything I do offense him. Thats why he text me and even say that I’m being a jerk for doing that to him. I feel confuse because I don’t know how to react. But I keep on doing the no contact so I didn’t reply to his texts… I bet it makes him feel like I’m completely ignoring him and that would make him even angrier with me. What scared me is the fact that he might tell his families about our break up, and since he has to defence himself, of course he will say that I’m not like what they think, I hurt him, I play with his feelings, even worse, he might say I just ‘used’ him that is why he say I don’t appreciate his effort and sacrifice all of this time. And of course his family will think I’m not good. What I think is that will affect the possibility to recover this, right? Because he would probably follow his family to not being with me anymore. Beside, I heard he also already said bad things about me to his friends, and to his brother’s friend as well.
So my chances now is bad? What do you think I should do ? Do I need to stop the no contact right now and just let him go or is there any possibility that I still can work this out? Thank you for answering anyway 🙂 🙂
Oktavia
November 14, 2016 at 4:00 am
Another additional info, yesterday I went to my mother’s friend wedding and accidently met his parents. They greet my uncle first but I think his mom didn’t recognise me. When we share eye contacts for about 3 seconds ( I’m quiet sure she stopped and look at me for like 2 3 seconds), I wanted to give her a smile or at least say hello to her, but she just staring at me and then look the other way, busy finding seats for her. I was in shock, I keep thinking that maybe she already know about what happened to me and him, and I’m afraid to say that she’s probably mad and being super sensitive with me post break up. I don’t know if it’s true but if I can think positive, maybe she just simply doesn’t recognise me because when my mom meet her and a friend, she greet her very politely nicely and my mom said she did the same… What I’m scared is that if his parents already hates me for some reason ( sometimes after a break up he could talk to his/her parents about the break up right, and some of the parents feel this hatred towards his/her ex). What do you think? I really need advice right now … Will that decrease the possibility?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 14, 2016 at 5:27 pm
Hi Oktavia,
what confuses me is why you broke up. why did you break up? And when did you actually break up?
Oktavia
November 10, 2016 at 4:21 pm
Oh, and one thing, how can I show him that I can change my bad attitude if he’s not looking at it? I mean how can he know I have changed or at least want to change when we are splitting up like this?
A
October 19, 2016 at 6:50 pm
Hi,
My ex and I were together for almost 2 years and lived together for 10 months. He broke up with me 08/04, so about 2 1/2 months ago. I messed up the first 7 weeks, begging, crying…calling him and such. He broke up with me due to our arguing, we talked about marriage and children everyday so it was out of the blue for me bc I thought we’d never break up. I also messed up and slept with him after a month of us breaking up and also wrote him a letter about realizing the mistakes we had both made and owned up to them. After the sex, he told me he felt bad and didn’t want me to have false hope of us getting back together, which really stung. A couple of days after that I went off on him somewhat telling him he used me and I wasn’t that kind of girl and stuff. He sent me a long email about being sorry for everything, but we couldn’t be together and stuff. I’m blocked on his fb, so I just deleted my fb so I wouldn’t look him up. We don’t follow each other on Instagram but neither of us are blocked so I think he looks at that but I’m not sure. Flash to today, I am on Day 20 of no contact. It was hard to get here, and I haven’t heard a word for him. Do you think there’s still a chance for him and I? Even though there were arguments, we were very happy with each other. Were also only 20 years old, not sure if that matters. How many days of no contact do you think I should do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2016 at 4:58 pm
Hi A,
do at least 45..I think there’s a chance, but you have to really genuinely change.. forget the previous relationship and take this as a restart.. Start out slowly as being friendly only at first..
Yeah, you’re young and he’s young, so what you need to keep in mind is that you have to take it slow and you need to have your own life even when you’re in a relationship..
A
October 7, 2016 at 6:17 am
My ex messaged me a few days ago because he was concerned abt me (for a particular reason) I didn’t reply especially because I broke nc once before with him (he was calling everyday) and I had to start over. However I’m feeling remoreseful that I didn’t reply, I also told him not to call or message me the last time we spoke. He hasn’t tried to contact me since so I’m wondering now if he is gone for good, it also seems as if he blocked me from whatsapp because I can’t see his display pic or last seen. Im just really worried he won’t come back, what do you think? (Day 10 nc)
A
October 12, 2016 at 4:13 am
Ok thanks Amor very helpful
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 12, 2016 at 10:33 am
You’re welcome!
A
October 9, 2016 at 9:53 pm
And also i dont get why he would block me or delete my number if he is just respecting my space? And how long will he respect my space until he is calling me again. I felt better when he was always calling me because at least I knew he was thinking of me you know
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 9:38 am
well, you can’t expect him to always chase you.. he’s human.. he’ll get that it’s not working so he has to stop.. That could be another reason for him to block you, to stop himself from constant checking.. more likely, when he’s more confident that you will probably reply, he will initiate but after no contact, it’s ok that you initiate as long as you’re the one who’s going to end the conversation in high note.
A
October 9, 2016 at 9:46 pm
So do you think he’ll text me that he wants me back? I think he took me for granted during the relationship and so he thought I would still be around begging him to take me back so I think no contact is good to let him realize that it is not so as a result I don’t think I should be the one to reach out to him after no contact because I think it would jus seem like I was chasing him again and besides he broke up with me. So what do you think my chances are of him reaching out to me (seeing that he blocked me after I didn’t reply to him)?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 9, 2016 at 6:06 pm
Hi A,
he’s probably just respecting your space
Happi
October 4, 2016 at 8:38 pm
I have had an on-off relationship for the last 3 years. It was only “off” because my job took me away, and long distance was hard but we would make efforts to visit each other. Since last december we have had much more contact talking every week. And a few months ago he called me saying he wants more, a committed relationship long distance that would lead to marriage and one of us moving to the other person. He constantly talked about wanting to marry me and have kids and live together. He made more effort to come visit me more frequently, and after months of this I thought I should move and we try to do this for real. He was so excited when I told him I would move. But then the past 2 weeks he has been so busy and distant that I was confused so I asked him a few times if he was sure this is what he really wanted. He assured me each time. But then 3 days ago he ends it in a text saying he is too busy to focus on someone else and doesnt want to hurt me. I was so confused, as we had just spent a weekend together the week before and everything was fine. He wouldn’t respond to my texts back asking him what that means. And then he blocked my number and social media. But 2 days ago he sent me a message on snapchat saying he wants to talk on the phone. but then yesterday he blocks me on snapchat and never called. I don’t get it. I thought I was going to marry him. Is it just over now? Can I wait a few weeks and try to contact him?
Happi
October 7, 2016 at 8:32 pm
Do you think that means its over forever? Why would he say he wants to talk but block me and not call instead?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 12:21 pm
nope.. I think he’s confused.. and blocking you was a way for him to figure out what he really wants.
Happi
October 4, 2016 at 11:01 pm
also I want to mention that ill be in town where he lives in a few weeks. can i reach out to try and talk in person? Or just wait?
I am still planning on moving back there, as i have family there and its just right for me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 9:48 pm
Hi Happi,
yeah, just wait.. but while waiting, be active with yourself. Read this one too:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming
Kelsie
September 25, 2016 at 12:34 pm
Hello
So I posted on here after doing no contact for a few weeks I met up with my ex because he wanted to talk he noticed that I was looking and feeling better he said he wished things had of turned out better and he regretted alot.of what happened he cried and told me I thinks about me all day and has no interest in anyone after all this I said do you think we will get back together later on and he said I don’t know I think we rushed into a relationship to quickly and that he wanted to be friends he said he wants to be with me but we aren’t ready to get back together but he wants me to wait until he has cleared his head and to start of slow and be friends and see what happened he can’t tell if we are going to be together or not
What should I do now
Obviously the feelings are still there?
Should I go back to Nc and give him space he said all the things he said before about me moving on and finding someone else he didn’t mean and that he didn’t want to lose me and he’s so lost with out me
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 25, 2016 at 4:33 pm
Hi Kelsie,
hmm.. looks like you ended the no contact rule pre maturely.. well, I can’t blame you if he messaged or called you that he wants you back. If you keep doing nc, it will lose it’s effect because he will notice the pattern. So, make the most of this nc. Don’t break it, unless he literally says he sure he wants you back at that moment.
Relentless
September 25, 2016 at 6:56 am
Hi Amor,
You have always been quite helpful so I thought I’d ask for advice again. My boyfriend of 8 months is a great guy, pretty much all my needs are met..except for 2. Basically he hasn’t met my mum, and well it’s been 8 months. He finally agreed to meet her on my bday in a few weeks, however I still see he has his reservations. I asked him about why he’s so reluctant and he said part of it is his English isn’t that good and he’s embarrassed and out of his comfort zone. He admitted in his own country he was with a girl 5 years and never met her mum, so it’s new for him I guess. I’m worried he will pull out last minute before he meets her. Most people would’ve dumped their bf after a few months of this, I know there are cultural differences though. The other issue is, he hasn’t said I love you..I did once in passing but since he never said it back I never mentioned it again. I know he cares, one time I was crying over worries of someone in the family and he cried too after seeing me cry.
These 2 things are relevant I know, I mean he’s already agreed to one…but still that should’ve happened months ago. Any advice??
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 25, 2016 at 2:34 pm
Hi Relentless,
It’s a first time for him so, agreeing is already a big step. Let him take his time if he doesn’t come. Try a different approach next time, ask him on the day itself so that he doesn’t have much time refuse. But don’t make it like you’re cornering him. Make it like being at the mall, and then suddenly you’re mom decided to tag along because she has something to buy. So, make sure that whatever day that is, he feels great about himself so that he won’t be too anxious.
With the I love you, that’s a different one. It might be that’s he’s just not verbal so, try to observe if he has a different love language. And say it too, you’re with him and you love him so, it’s ok to say I love you even if he doesn’t say it back. If you really want to ask, pick at a time that he is in the best mood.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 21, 2016 at 2:05 pm
Hi CPL
unblock him… It’s better if sees your posts..just dont open his.. keep improving yourself.
if he sees you’re moving on, improving and having your own life, there’s a chance that he would be comfortable to start as friends again after nc
What does he want?
September 20, 2016 at 4:44 pm
Hi Amor,
My ex and I broke up this May, blocked and unblocked each other multiple times, got into contact multiple times. He finally blocked me from social media this July and we haven’t made any contact since then. My best friend tried to reconcile things between us but nothing came out of it. That was the only time she made any contact with him. He made it pretty clear that he didn’t want me but a few days ago he sent a Facebook friend request to my best friend. Why would he want to befriend his ex’s best friend even when he knows she doesn’t hide anything from me? Why would you send your ex’s best friend a friend request? We don’t run in the same social circles.
What does he want?
September 23, 2016 at 2:15 pm
Dear Amor,
Thank you for the reply. He unblocked me a few days ago out of the blue and added me to his contact list also. I don’t know if I should try to contact him first but so far I’m loving the no-contact rule. It has helped me grow from within. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 24, 2016 at 12:51 pm
that’s good. It would be better if you stick to no contact rule
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 22, 2016 at 4:43 pm
Hi What does he want,
maybe to try to sneak up on what you’ve been up to lately.
Donna
September 20, 2016 at 12:51 pm
Ok, so here’s my story and it’s kind of complicated… I have this guy friend (I’m 32 and he will be 43 in a couple months) and we met back in 2010 working together on a film for the summer. We live on opposite coasts and we barely talk on social media. He was happily married back when we met, but he quickly got a divorce and started to date one of the girls we worked with.
To make things more complecated, we met again in late 2013, at a party he was having. His eyes sparkled when he laid eyes on me. He called out my name and said “hey buddy, it’s good to see you here! I’ve missed you so much!” I think he noticed some changes I had made between the last time he saw me, including the fact that I lost 30 pounds, but he would never say anything about it. He just said that I look really good. I blushed, we both admitted that we missed each other and in the midst of teasing me about missing him, he found a note in my hand telling him my feelings for him. He asked me if I love him and I had to fight the tears telling him yes and that I’m sorry I ruined our friendship. He hugged me close to his body, and assured me that I didn’t do anything wrong and that we are still friends. He told me to never apologize for my feelings if they are real, because why apologize for something you can’t change. I asked him if things didn’t work out with his girlfriend, would it be possible he could give me a chance. He said that anything is possible and that maybe we will see someday. I told him that I would rather us be friends than make things awkward between us just because of my feelings. He laughed and said not to worry that everything is good between us. He never once brought up his girlfriend in our conversation. He remembers details about me that my average friends wouldn’t remember, he looked at me longingly and he held my hands when we talked. He asked me details about my plans for the day and if I wanted to work with him again in the future, but he also acted a bit wishy-washy. He also told me that he enjoys receiving messages on Twitter from me and that I make him smile, so I decided I would continue to send him messages just as I always had. Also, he introduced me to his parents and sisters. We talked and I still keep in touch with his sisters (but I haven’t talked to them since I have him his space).
I felt fantastic and beautiful, and I’m sure he felt the self-confidence radiate from me. But he still had his girlfriend and he never told me how he felt about me. He was happy he had me smiling again before I left the party (I had work the next morning).
Last year, I had this continuous argument with one of his fans on Twitter, it was ridiculous and I kept defending him for a month or so until I blocked her around September. Nothing happened after that. I stayed silent on social media as I just got a new job and stayed busy. Once a week I would send him a meme early in the morning before I went to work just to make him smile. Next thing I know, I wake up Christmas morning and he blocked me. I don’t know if he did this because of that fan said something to him, or if his girlfriend made him do that because she never liked me and felt jealous that he would even look at me. All I know is that I felt so lonely and afraid that I lost him forever. I opened a separate Twitter account and he opened a separate account also (at least I believe it is him) and we talk maybe once a month. I’m afraid though that I have lost him as a friend and that he will never talk to me again. My self-confidence went from high to low the day he blocked me last Christmas and it’s been a struggle since then.
He is no longer with his girlfriend after dating her for these years, and officially called it quits as of the beginning of this year. I have tried to talk to him during these past few months since they broke up, hoping that maybe he will talk to me now that he was single. 5 months later, now he is dating another girl. But I think it’s a rebound since she is 20 years younger than him (and when I talked to his sister the week before, she told me he was still upset over the breakup and to give him time). I decided to make myself have a “no contact” time for about 6 months or so until I get myself back to being the self-confident woman that he saw he last time we met 2 years ago. I figured that if he sees me missing from social media after I tried to get his attention and apologize for making him uncomfortable, maybe he will miss me and want to talk about this.
I still talk to him through this other account about once a month. He says that he misses me and asks how I am doing. But he acts like he never blocked me on his main account, and when I mention him blocking me he ignores the question and asks me another question. So I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt his feelings because I know he is a sensitive person just as much as I am.
I wouldn’t necessarily call him my ex since we never had a real romantic relationship. But I’m hoping you can give me some advice here anyways. He knows I love him, and I have a feeling that he had a more-than-friendly feelings for me. Would 3 months of silence work for me, or would I be risking him forgetting about me altogether? Does being long distance make the chances of reconciliation of our friendship almost impossible?
I’m sorry that my message is so long, but I would appreciate your help!
Thank you!
Donna
September 21, 2016 at 4:15 pm
Amor, thanks! I am trying my best to focus on improving myself, getting healthy and what not.
I’ll take your advise and not send him messages at all to his private account. I did get a teasing reply from him yesterday. But I have not replied back to him.
Is it possible for me to get Chris’s insight on my dilemma? I would really appreciate his suggestions.
I’ll read up on the Ungettable Girl page. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 23, 2016 at 9:14 am
I’ll forward your story but I can’t guarantee that he can reply immediately.. You can try sending in a voice mail too if you want
Donna
September 20, 2016 at 5:55 pm
Chris, I would like to add that I have been going no contact for about 20 days so far and I have been working on me, improving myself worth, going to the gym, to the beach, enjoying myself.
Though, I have to admit, because this guy is always on Twitter and Instagram, I have been trying to stay clear from both social media sites for that reason. Am I hurting my chances to gain him back? Do you have any advice for me as to how to ignore him on social media without having to unfollow him on Instagram?
Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 21, 2016 at 3:39 pm
Hi Donna,
I have to be realistic. I think he was being nice with you because he knows you love him.. He likes that feeling of being admired. And no contact means no contact at all. That means yoy cant message him once a month.. I think there is a chance but dont chase him. Be the ungettable girl.. Be great but dont beg or ask him to be with you.
check this:
The Ungettable Girl
Laura
September 19, 2016 at 2:59 pm
Me and my ex was together for 19 months. He use to go out and leave me all the time last minute (I would be left sat in with his mum) he is so unpredictable one minute he is really sorry and the next he doesn’t think it’ll work because it’s gone ‘too far’ we havnt spoke since 4th September. His mum has text me to see it I’m
Ok and my dad has returned all his belongings to his house. He has been working away through the week but been constantly out on the weekends. We both have a christening in October for his friends baby and are both god parents. What do I do?? He’s mentioned booking a lads holiday to Benidorm. I have him on no social networking sites and he had deleted the pics of me and him on his Instagram I’m heartbroke. Do u think he will come back ??
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 21, 2016 at 2:01 pm
Hi Laura,
go to the Christening. Try doing the no contact rule..Look uour best and just be civil.. If you have to talk to him about it that’s ok but talk only about that..
Eleonore
September 18, 2016 at 10:38 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me 25 days ago by a phone call,I was shocked and couldn’t help telling him that this is going to destroy me , he simply told me that he knows I’m going to get over this.
It was awful from him because he showed me that I will be the only one affected…anyways after that conversation I started a no contact for two reasons : 1) because I want him to regret letting me go and 2) because I am so angry of him,if he wasn’t that into me why did he start this relationship (it was his request)
He texted me twice on whatsapp during the first week to ask about how I am feeling,I read his texts (so he can see the seen sign) but didn’t reply…Yesterday I took your advice : changed my profile picture and put a very beautiful one where I look so happy and fresh,everyone was liking it even people who are usually not social media active and I was sure he has seen it: Today he liked it and wrote a comment : I am glad seeing you that happy. I don’t know what it means ? is he regretting or just reminding me that I told him I’m gonna be sad without him? sometimes I think he just want to make sure I am ok since the breakup was his idea and the whole fault is his,I no longer want to look vulnerable ,I want to take control and be that fatal challenging lady he regret having lost.
Eleonore
September 20, 2016 at 11:04 pm
Hello ,Thank you for your response this is giving me some confidence.
I just don’t want to be friendzoned by him,he seems like caring if I feel better after the breakup.
You know I’ve read several books lately about why relationships fail and I realized that I was too nice ,too available ,needy ,clingy ,insecure etc I was everything to make him run away ,yet I was not like this usually with the other guys I dated and they were usually the ones in love (and I was not ) but when I met him I started acting like a crazy desperate girlfriend…
He dumped me saying that he just couldn’t have a feeling strong enough to make him commit but I’m sure that in the early stages of the relationship he was really into me(it was like 1 year ago now)
He is living overseas and this is complicating things for me to recover him …ah and one other thing, yes I love him but I’m still pissed of him for dumping me this way and can’t break the NC by my own initiative or I’ll feel humiliated 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 22, 2016 at 7:13 pm
Hmm.. Then that means you would continue nc until he reaches out?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 20, 2016 at 7:07 pm
HI Eleonore,
You are taking back your power by improving yourself. So, good job on that. If he checks your posts and comments in it, that’s a good sign. Because whether he has moved on or not, that means it would be easier for you to build rapport after nc.
rose
September 18, 2016 at 1:09 pm
Today he texted me angrily saying that he hates me and I shut keep my mouth shut and that he doesn’t want to see me again that I am the past. I was shocked because I didn’t know why he started talking like that and he didn’t want to tell me what was the problem and it felt really weird. I didn’t even talked bad stuff about him so I really cannot understand his reaction. He was the one who always came to talk when we were out and now out of nowhere, when I’m ignoring him he s angry at me for no reason?! and I told him like 100 times what s the problem and he didn’t say. It s really confusing.. I found out that last night he went to talk to a girl in a club and that girl was with a close friend of mine and I think he knew that my friend is going to tell me. He broke up with me but he’s the one angry…………I AM CONFUSED
rose
September 18, 2016 at 1:11 pm
however I acted very nice, like I read here in the articles. I wanted him to see that I am better and is not necessary to be mean. I told him that he is a nice person and I respect him even though he s like that. I wished him a beautiful day and that s it 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 20, 2016 at 2:56 pm
Hi Rose,
I dont understand too.. did you mean you’re still together and he just said that?
So Confused
September 18, 2016 at 2:34 am
My ex and I are both 32 years old and have been broken up for about a year now. He ended the relationship back in October of 2015, the day after my birthday. We celebrated it with a nice dinner and boom, I get a text message the next day saying he needed some space.
I followed through with the NC(no contact rule) and focused on me. Joined a gym/all women bootcamp, lost 10 lbs, restarted a few businesses I talked about when he and I were together, and spent more time with family/friends.
On Mothers Day I received a “Happy Mothers Day” text from him. I replied with a simple “Thank You.” And left it at that.
Fast forward a few months later I sent the famous “accidental but intentional” text which opened up a short convo that I ended quickly. On the July 4th I sent a simple text indicating I was thinking of him and hoped all was well. This has opened the door for short text messages here and there then an open invitation to dinner. At the moment I couldn’t go ( I was leaving out the country the next day) but told him I’d love to do so once I returned.
He and I had dinner at the end of July. It went very smoothly and within conversation he brought up the break up and his reasons for doing so. I listened without judge or blame and made it very clear that I understood he had to take care of him. He asked how I felt and I did say how hurt I was and how much I stilled love him. He indicated he felt the same. Later he asked about my dating life and was surprised I was still single. He made it known he had a “lady friend” ( who had a 50/50 chance of being his girlfriend) but was not committed to anyone. He told me I looked good with the lost weight, new tan, and awesome figure. He later asked did I ever think about our sex life. I indicated all the time and he implemented he did the same.
My question, is he opening the door for reconciliation or just friendship? ***Sidenote*** I haven’t heard from him in a month
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 20, 2016 at 11:30 am
Hi So confused,
It looks like you only communicated a few times a month. Why? So, you’re not really building up rapport.. It does sound that he missed you in that convo, but why haven’t you talked to each other for a month now? Is it because you’re waiting for him to initiate?