Man… I just got off the phone with my ex. Dude, she’s (bleeping) crazy, man. I don’t know why I ever dated her. She is being such a (bleep) right now!”

You might’ve been in a situation like this before, more or less extreme than this probably.

An ex might be running his mouth to anyone who would listen to him complain about how much of a bad girlfriend you were, and how you’re even more horrible as an ex. He could be talking to family or friends, or maybe – worst-case scenario – even saying these things about you straight to your face. If you’ve been in this situation before, then I want to apologize because now one should be described as or talked about in that fashion. It’s rude, hurtful, and very undermining to the woman you are.

And of course it hurts.

Ok, it really hurts!

Hearing bad things being said about you is painful no matter what the circumstances are. Throw in the fact that this is the ex you see yourself with, and that you want him back…well, things start to get complicated.

Is it even possible to get back together with this ex?, you might be thinking to yourself. Others, like your own family and friends, would probably advise you against it.

From an outsider’s point of view, staying away and not getting back together with an ex with a bad mouth seems logical. However, there is more than meets the eye in certain situations.

This is to say, think about all aspects of the story from both storytellers’ points of view. This means not only looking into why you’re wanting to get back together with this particular ex, but also looking into other factors. Like why is he being like this?

If you want to get back together with an ex who is badmouthing you, like any other problem, you’re going to have to stop and assess the situation before fixing it.

I am gonna have to be completely honest with you before I continue – I have never been in this particular situation before. None of my exes have ever said anything bad about me. Not that I know of, anyway. The only advice I can think of to give is, before confronting an ex about the things he’s been saying about you, I would think of why he’s running his mouth in the first place.

Is he upset about something you said or did in your relationship? Is he angry because you broke up with him? Is he angry at himself for breaking up with you? Are you doing better than he is? Are his friends and family egging him on because they didn’t like you?

There could be a number of reasons why he’s being unreasonable, so try to think of what could be the motivation to his bad words. While it’s not healthy to linger on these thoughts (and I highly suggest you don’t hold on to them for your own mental health), understanding why he’s so upset can help you figure the best approach to talk to him would be.

Sometimes, realizing why he’s saying what he’s saying helps you even see that maybe confronting him about it isn’t the best choice. Sometimes, you’re just going to have to let things run its course.

As I admitted, I don’t have firsthand experience in this scenario, so my advice could be easier said than done. With that said, I had to turn to some lovely ladies who’ve unfortunately found themselves in this this situations before. So, to validate my earlier advice, I’ll share the experiences of these girls (with permission, course!) and give you the advice they want you to know regarding an ex with a bad mouth.

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Cassie

The first brave soul to share her situation with me, Cassie*, admits that her breakup with her ex was messy, mostly because it wasn’t mutual and there was no closure involved.

“We broke up out of impulse, and I initiated it. There was frustration, jealousy, and betrayal,” she speculates.

She continues that after the breakup, she went out a lot more and having more fun because she was hurt that her ex wasn’t there for her during their relationship.

When he saw the change in her, that’s when the badmouthing began.

“My ex and I aren’t friends anymore. I wish I’d handled [the situation] better because my actions influenced his crap-talking, to be honest.”

I asked her if she had any advice for anyone whose exes are also bad-mouthing them, she had this to say:

“The only advice I would give is to talk it out once you go through all your emotions. It’s best to talk when you’re [both] calm and civilized, so you can really hear each other out. And be truthful to each other.”

While trying to talk to the ex and confronting him wasn’t an option for Cassie in her situation, it was for the next account, one told me by a third party about a girl named Sasha*.

Sasha

The relationship was apparently unhealthy from the get-go, and it didn’t help things that Sasha and her ex were living together and working at the same place. They fought a lot, which eventually resulted in the breakup.

In the words of one of Sasha’s friends, her ex was “butt hurt” and called her a “crazy b*tch.”

He would also try to convince their mutual friends that she would go to his place and ask for sex sometimes. But Sasha says it was the complete opposite – HE came over drunk to Sasha’s new place and begged for her. And while her ex would hook up with other girls, he would constantly try to “run into” her and her friends while they were out on the weekends just to, as Sasha says, “ruin her fun.”

While Sasha constantly told her ex to leave her alone – stop following her and spreading rumors about her – he would stop until being told by her friend, a much bigger guy, to quit. Eventually, he did and while his taunting stopped, Sasha decided to leave the job she was at and move to a new city. For her, working with her toxic ex got to be too much to handle, even after the taunting ended.

Sasha’s friend didn’t share any advice in addition to sharing her story, as it wasn’t her own personal situation. But Sasha’s support group of friends were helpful in getting her ex to stop, even though her own confrontations with her ex weren’t. Sometimes, when you and the person you’re dating share mutual friends, however, things can get trickier, as they had for Jessie*.

Jessie

Jessie had only been with her ex for two weeks, so she hardly considered theirs a relationship. They’d been friends for a while, and had been part of a larger group of mutual friends. They spent almost all of their winter break together, and had slept together. It was Jessie’s first time.

After winter break, they decided to end things mutually because they were both going to different colleges anyway, so they didn’t see the point of keeping things up. Jessie wasn’t upset by this decision as much as she was by her ex’s reason.

“He was about to leave to study abroad and he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore because he wanted the freedom to sleep with other [sic] girls abroad.”

Even though she was okay with he split, she let her ex know that it wasn’t a very nice way to end things, but still they ended things amicably. Or so she thought.

After the break, Jessie’s entire friend group pretty ghosted on her! They stopped talking to her, made excuses to not hang out with her – basically, they cut her out of the group.

She didn’t understand why and didn’t know until a few months later when she found out the truth. Her ex had told their mutual friends that Jessie was the one who ended things so she could sleep around in college.

Now, I’m gonna break the story here just to say that this guy is an ampersand and two dollar signs.

How could he play her like that?

To their friends?!

Those friends aren’t the best, either.

They’d turned their backs on Jessie without even hearing her side of things.

Some friends…

While Jessie never confronted her ex about his bad mouthing (what else could he have said?!), her sister did confront one of the friends to confirm the story. She wanted to, though, but thought it would be a fruitless effort. She remained to be friendly towards everyone in the group, no one made efforts to strengthen their friendships. She sadly I friended each one of them.

For her, the decision to end things with her ex and friends was a good one, a way to develop healthier and stronger relationships and friendships in the future.

“Some people would call it cowardly,” she begins, “But I don’t think there’s any harm in taking care of my own emotional and mental well-being first and foremost.”

And she does have a point, ladies. Sometimes, in the midst of a relationship, we (as in anyone in said relationship, not just women in particular) tend to forget to take care of ourselves and what we want. We sometimes forget what our worth is, especially when we hear someone isn’t saying kind words to us.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Emma

The last story I want to share with you is that of Emma*.

Emma’s case is more of the same as the rest. I got the chance to speak one-on-one with her about her experience, which was great. She was very candid about sharing this with me, and her honesty and openness with talking about this rough patch in her life is very much appreciated.

Emma knew she shouldn’t have dated her ex because of the past he had. She knew him to be a player, as it was pretty much the reputation he was known for. She resisted him for a while before finally giving in to him. She knew he wasn’t a good guy, but she wanted change him.

“He was known to lie and cheat…I realized towards the end that there was no way to change him. He gave me a reason not to trust him,” she recalls. “Sometimes, I was convinced he was changing.”

The breaking point for Emma, why she ultimately decided to break up was him involved a lie he told. One night, he told Emma that he was going to be with family. Instead, she found out he was actually with another girl, who Emma describes as a “bad influence.”

“It wasn’t an easy breakup,” Emma says. “He was hurt and blindsided [by it].”

Emma admits that while she was trying to move on from her ex, they both had a moment of weakness and slept with each other. After that, he’d tell her she was “being slutty.”

At some point after the breakup, he hung out with that same girl that caused his breakup with Emma. They eventually became a couple, and the ex started talking smack about Emma to his new girlfriend. It wasn’t long before his new girl picked up on that.

Not only this, though. Emma and her ex shared a mutual friend. Emma believes that this mutual friend had loyalties toward her ex more than she had toward Emma. She believes this because the mutual friend is how she found out about the name-calling and smack talking he ex was saying about her. Emma eventually decided to stop sharing her own feelings about her ex with their mutual friend.

“I talked crap about him and his girlfriend because he did it to me,” she says of what influenced her to mimic his behavior. She didn’t like this change, and knew hanging out with their mutual friend would only result in more hurt and anger, that she decided to move on from all of it.

It took some time for Emma to date again. She spent most of her time post-breakup with one or two people she trusted the most – her sister and her best friend. Something she advises people to do.

She also didn’t see a future in being friends with her ex, so she didn’t confront him about his bad-mouthing. And as a result of how traumatic this breakup was to her, she realized she didn’t know how to trust. When she first started dating her current boyfriend, it took her a whole year to stop “being a b*tch to him.”

“I needed to find myself again. I was lucky enough that after the breakup, I spent the summer traveling in Japan.”

Emma found herself there again, and made new friends along the way. “When you make new friends, the real you comes out,” she explains. “[It] gives you the confidence you never knew you had.”

When I asked Emma if she had more advice to give on what to do in this situation, and if she thought a friendship or rekindling a relationship with an ex was possible, she had this to say:

“You have to have a clean breakup. You can be friends in the future, but maybe not right away.” I asked her how she thought this was possible, she recommends to think of an ex as any other person, not as an “ex-boyfriend.”

“Think of an ex as a person, and if they are good in your life, like a positive person.” By doing this, it allows you to think of how an ex is benefitting your life. But Emma recommends to put emotions to the side while doing so and disassociate an ex from the romantic feelings.

 “If you go off of your emotions, it’ll be an endless cycle [of hurt].”

Still, Emma thinks that it does take time for a friendship to develop again. “Talk to your ex without begging for him back. And still, give them time to settle their thoughts [and feelings]. A mutual ending could be beneficial.”

Final Thoughts:

Breakups are hard, regardless who initiated it or why it happened. Things can get messier when it is your own ex, and when your ex is calling you names, saying hurtful things about you, and spreading harsh rumors.

Regardless, even though it’s hard to see it now, because you’re not only dealing with a breakup but also with an ex who talks a lot of crap about you, you will be fine. Just know that there are other women out there who are going through the same thing you’re going through. Some have gone through it and survived.

In the meantime, I hope these final thoughts will help you make it through this hard time.

  • Think about your ex’s motivations for what he’s saying. Remember that whatever your ex is saying, there is some motivation behind it. No matter what the situation is, don’t feel entirely to blame because this step is to understand why he is talking crap in the first place.
  • Don’t listen to their words. Like I said, breakups are hard. Most likely, your ex has a bad mouth because he’s having a hard time with the breakup and doesn’t know how else to deal with it. He is hurt, just like you are, and he probably doesn’t know any other way to express his pain. If you find yourself falling into their harsh words and believing what they say, then I recommend looking into this fantastic article written by a fellow EBR girl, Jennifer J. Bryant. It’s filled with self-love and affirmations to bring your confidence back up. In addition, if your relationship was, in any way abusive, please also read this article by another EBR girl, Carey Ann Berkle.
  • Don’t stoop to their level. On the other side of the spectrum, don’t let your ex’s words pull you down to his level. It’s easy to call people names and spread rumors about them when they’re the ones who, as kids say, “started it.” But you’re an adult, not a child anymore, and you don’t have to stoop to that level. I think it’s normal for people to bad-mouth their exes because it helps them disassociate feelings of love for them and instead replace them with feelings of resentment. But don’t do it, especially if it’s easy for your ex to find out you’ve been trash talking him as much as he has to you. It will be a constant back and forth and there will be no end.
  • Do a mini-NC. Chances are, if you know your ex is talking crap about you, it’s because you’re somehow still connected to his world. Give yourself a break from that negativity and limit your contact with you ex, or just don’t contact him at all.
  • If you’re ready, talk it out. Once you’ve regained your confidence in yourself and remembered who you are and not what your ex says you are, and if you let enough time pass between the breakup and the present – talk it out. But, as Emma mentioned, make sure to disassociate your ex from the emotions you felt for him. Talk it out with him as you would a coworker or friend who hurt you. Let them know why what they’re saying is hurtful and explain to them why they should stop. Also remember to remain calm so you can carry on.
  • DO YOU. Don’t be afraid to find yourself again. You don’t have to fly all the way to Japan to find who you are. But you can definitely find yourself by diving into new hobbies, activities, new friends, and goals. New hobbies and activities can be a fund distraction from a rude ex and what he’s saying. Making new friends can help you see what kind of person you are and what kind of people you want to be around. It can help you find a kind of confidence in yourself that you’ve never known. And making new goals can keep your eyes focused on the future rather than looking back on the painful past.

You are not a crazy b*tch.

You’re not a dirty slut.

You are not clingy or selfish.

You’re not immature or a prude. And if you give into what your ex is saying about you, you will eventually believe it. But you are not those things.

You are beautiful, kind, intelligent, and perfect how you are.

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13 thoughts on “My Ex Boyfriend Keeps Badmouthing Me”

  1. Avatar

    B

    March 28, 2020 at 3:43 pm

    I find myself very confused. My ex reached out wanting to be friends. We’ve been texting and things have been positive. I’ve doing a bit of push/pull and trying to work my way up the value ladder.
    But this morning, I see that he’s talking bad about me to his friends on social media. I can be empathetic and understand why… he’s probably still at odds with himself. But where does put me? Do I stay “friends ” knowing negative things are being said about me? Pull back into NC? Ignore all together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 9:52 pm

      Hi B I would not remain his “friend” if he is speaking badly of you at all! And if you want to be back with this person as in have a relationship then you do not want to friendzone yourself either

  2. Avatar

    Kate

    June 11, 2019 at 2:50 am

    Hi

    I wrote to you a few weeks ago on this message thread. Just wondering, recently my ex knows I am leaving the country to move elsewhere this week and has been not just talking bad words about my to others but now texting and emailing those things. I tried to be rational but he is over the top really and won’t listen to any words I say, like as an example is that I declined the notion of a friendship after we finished months back and have been trying to close this since. His messages jump from personal attacks, to telling me to move on and that there is nothing “here” with me, to insults about me family, friends and our past relationship which lead to him telling me all was a mistake, I never loved you and past feelings were mistaken thinking I was someone else to him. Like I said to him, for a guy that claims he doesn’t care seems to care to such extremes enough to say so much about me even in angry/hurt. I have also said if you cared so little why would you bother to message? – surely mature adults would usually move on to the next thing in their lives and quiet mule over their hurt?

    Please offer a little clarity. Thanks.

  3. Avatar

    Kate

    May 30, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    This is a fantastic article for self-believe and re-gaining control and independence after a break-up.

    For me I am experiencing the same. Broke up with ex in November. Very messy because it wasn’t clear cut, and the break was due to circumstance getting the better of us and pressuring the guy so much he split. However he already had a girl lined up. He said to me to “just press eject” on your feelings and we can fall into a friendship. I disagreed. You cant just eject on feelings, especially when you tell others you love them during the split. I tried to seek closure as due to some miscommunications, I didn’t understand he wanted this friendship at first and his actions/words/ confused me. I ended it conclusively a month later and sent him a photo of me and a new guy that liked me. Meanwhile I see youtube liked songs of him seemingly quietly grieving the end of our relationship with love songs, or songs with my name as the title. Meanwhile verbally he tells me we are over and I should be moving on, but he wants to remain friends. Misunderstandings of our past catch up with me by then and I return to him to seek closure/say goodbye. It seemed nothing I could say to make this clear though and he seemed taken that I had a motive to pursue him instead of befriend whilst he was moving onto a new person. Information overlapped and the new person was fully informed of our relationship past. The new person and family insult me considerably beyond, labelling me much that is not true over months. Being the decent person I am I wanted to say goodbye and give/seek closure so I continued to try to get through, but with more overlapping and drama, all the while the guy tells them I am much I am not, whilst confusing me with mixed messages, whilst insulting me too. Eg, in one call, “I loved you and you hurt me!” to then the next call, “I never loved you, it was a friendship love”. “I hate you!”, the next call, “I don’t hate you I feel indifferent”. “I miss you, I miss your laugh… I mean as a friend”. “You’re stalking me, why are you calling?”. All the while I am literally just calling for none of his words, but to be listened to and to say farewell in a respectable way. I cant understand the drama of this and ignorance to my words because all these months later, he’s still none the wiser. This is a grown man, I might add. Just last week HE said, “I wanted to be your friend but not after this”. Its like, well who said you still had a choice? – I told you we did not have a friendship months ago and I cannot understand why you do not see the repeated decision and words. It is like he is either in his own bubble, or too consumed by problems and pressures his end with the new person that he just cant take in my words… but for many months? I mean all is a bit weird to me. It is also very confusing that if you’re so happy and moved on to this great women whose so much better than I, why did you want to a “supportive friendship” with me still, why the mixed emotions, the lack of ability to read the messages clear and to take much in a way that’s not even there in reality. As an example I liked a facebook status on a post of a photo of him publicly. His partner saw it and next thing I know, for a gesture that was meant as, oh good my ex seems to be doing well in himself – good for him, it was taken as “get away from me, stop stalking me”. Yet then he pursues a friendship with me even still with your mixed messages and insults? I cant even with this guy. In one call he slipped, “I cant loose this girl”. I said, “what girl, your daughter?”. He said, “No. Not that girl”, meaning me. That is all we said on this exchanged but it seemed weird to me.

    Saying all of this though, the insults, suggestions, challenging of my very honest and good natured character has really gotten me down. I see when I distance myself that it seems about him though and where he’s at in himself. When I call him it got to a point where the toxic-ness was so cloudy. Then coming off the phone I realised at a point I didn’t feel that in me anymore, which meant i’d separated myself enough from the relationship to know all of the mess and insults are about him and not me, and what he is struggling with in him.

    Friends have said that there are too many mixed messages there and he abused our relationship history and any potential friendship if that was ever happening, too. It is so hard to gauge how he feels, but I realise after many months of this its not my job to work it out either. So instead of that goodbye, I have decided to order an Amazon online gift and have it packaged to his home around his bday just to say that farewell. Given the past he might take it negatively, but alas. In time, my thinking is that he will reflect on much of us in silence and come around in some capacity. It is weird that he would call me so much that wasnt true overtime about me to me and to others, yet still have been hopeful for a friendship that I told him was not going to happen for many months now.

    In the meantime, I am not going to Japan, but I am flying to NZ in a few days to hike, do water sports and bungy. It should be great! And something fresh and to post about on Facebook whilst being the ungettable great girl I always was and am becoming. I guess things take time to move on, but I have. Or at least getting there in my healing.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 30, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      Hi Kate…thanks for your comments some quality, alone time can be really helpful. Hiking is a wonderful way of lifting yourself up and gaining perspective and advancing your emotional, spiritual, and physical healing. You should be proud of how far you have come in the face of all the chaos.

  4. Avatar

    Lexy

    April 9, 2019 at 8:12 pm

    I was dating my ex on and off for 2 years. We had a hard time in the relationship because i betrayed him in the beginning (not cheating, something worse). After that mistake i apologized and we kind of moved on, but his family never did so they did their best to show they were against us being together.

    Overall we had a fun and great relationship, but we both let outside factors influence us too much (Like family, work-stress etc). I think if it weren’t for those things, we would not have broken up, but we did and i recently found out he has been speaking bad about me to his family. he’s been contacting me after the breakup (even after i told him i don’t want to speak to him anymore) but he’s been lying to his family saying that i am the one who won’t leave hin alone!!! He said many mean mean things to me. They don’t really bother me, i’m just hurt that he is doing this, and i don’t really understand why.. any advice or insight?

  5. Avatar

    Emma

    March 26, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    Hi My name is Emma and no not the Emma In the story but my Ex always talks crap about me all the time I think everyone in the whole school probably knows about it. Like his friends that I don’t even know me do it. He targets my weight he fat shames me and he knows that I’m very sensitive about my weight. We dated for a year and he broke up with me the day after our one year which was very shitty of him but we became friends really soon after that. Which I regret now because at one point during this school year I thought he was my best friend I was very very wrong. He had a way of showing me what I wanted to see that he likes. I’m getting through it his words just make me stronger in the long run.

  6. Avatar

    Bellaelena

    August 28, 2018 at 6:57 pm

    Hi,
    A week ago on a night out my ex ( who was my boyfriend at the time) got really drunk and finally admitted to me everything that he had been holding in from me, it was like shot after shot after shot to my heart, as I never knew most of what he felt like / how he interpreted situations differently from me as we are two seperate people and have different mentalities. He iniated the break up whilst being intoxicated and was a mess that night so one of his friends insisted that I stay with him that night to make sure he was okay. In the morning he again said the same thing, that the decision he made was for the best – so I left. I decided to pick myself up and just go, I felt there was no point in being in a relationship with someone who clearly didn’t want to be with me. Two days later we met up, and he was begging to get back with me – but the hurtful words he said that night when he was drunk stuck in my mind , he described our relationship as “toxic “ and “ unhealthy” so I didn’t see a reason to get back with him if he felt that’s how our relationship was. A week later he messaged me again, basically saying how he put 100% effort in and I put 0% , how it’s my fault because I’m the selfish one because I gave up on us , how he stuck by me after making mistake after mistake and his argument was why can’t I do the same for him as he felt his decision to break up was an impulsive mistake.
    I’m not perfect by a long shot, I’ve made mistakes , I’ve come to term with them , I’ve learnt from them and vowed never to do the same again , I feel as though now the relationship is damaged far beyond repair. The messages we’ve been sending to one another were nasty and hurtful. I’m just as bad as I’ve been defending myself. It takes two people to build a relationship and two people to destroy one – I don’t feel the blame is entirely on my part. I’ve handled this breakup very badly, I’ve been spotted out clubbing by some of his friends less than a week after the breakup , I’ve had his friends in public laughing at me , saying how they don’t respect me. I’ve had strangers approach me ( his friends ) saying “ oh I know you you’re … ex “ . I feel as though this mess has been broadcasted to the entire world. I feel as though I’m hated by a lot of people for “ breaking his heart” , yes I understand I hurt him – only because I didn’t fight for him. Sometimes when you love someone so much the best thing is not to hold on and fight, but to let them go so they can find someone better who truly deserves them and puts in more effort. I honestly wanted to change, I wanted to be the person for him, I wanted to do right by him, and I feel like I finally have, by allowing him to find the perfect girl for him – who’s not me.

    Before all the nastiness I wanted to take some time apart, I wanted to go our separate ways only to find one another again and become stronger than ever before. I think we’re too damaged now to function as a couple, I suppose it was wishful thinking to think that one day we might cross paths and end up together.

    Right now I only want whats best for him, and even though it kills me, I’m not the one for him, and I honestly wish him the best in life, I hope he finds happiness, I hope he finds the one. One day he’ll look back at this minor blip and think of it as a learning curve – hopefully from this he’ll know his worth and realise that he deserves better , he deserves everything I couldn’t give him.

    Okay I’ll stop rambling now, sorry.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 28, 2018 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Bella!

      That is some story! It is therapeutic to write it down and get the feelings out. Going forward, you might want to join my “Private Facebook Support Group Community”. Just go to my website home page to learn more about that resource and others

  7. Avatar

    Anon

    March 1, 2018 at 7:08 pm

    My ex and I were in a short term relationship three years ago. We have a large circle of mutual friends. At first, I backed away from quite a few of these friends cause I didn’t want him in my life. Three years later and I have rekindled friendships with these people because I don’t care about him anymore. I even reached out to be friends with him to eliminate uncomfortable situations for all of us because I am.

    But during this entire 3 years, he has been talking so badly about me. Accusing me of all sorts of things like writing messages on bathroom stalls, following him around to bars, sending spoof text messages to him, saying I hate him and he can’t even say hi to me. Even two weeks ago, during the time we have been “friends” I find out he is handing his phone to people and telling them to read my messages to him to try and prove I am obsessed with him. When I called him on it he said he isn’t interested, doesn’t know what I am after, and to find another target. I said don’t flatter yourself I was just being nice and he flipped out.

    What is worse is so many people that have listened to him bad talk me and the include me in the drama…like I can’t stand him either, like I am actually doing these things and asking me why I even text him at all. Which shows me he is friends to my face and continues the bad talk behind my back. Why after 3 years is he still doing this? I have started to stand up for myself and fight back, when it is brought up to me I say very clearly what is not true and that the problem is his, not mine, and don’t include me in the drama cause I am not doing any of it. But it still hurts, I care what people think and the lies being told about me. What in the heck do I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2018 at 1:20 pm

      Hi Anon,

      Don’t make your life be so affected with what other people think. The people who believe him, are the people you need to avoid and stop being friends with, including him..

  8. Avatar

    Anon

    July 15, 2017 at 11:08 am

    Me and my ex broke up 5 days ago and we were together for 11 months. I have initiated the no contact rule but I have a few scares. I’m scared that he thinks it’s for the best and he won’t message me, no matter how much he misses me. Ickniw he won’t want to hurt me again so this may stop him from contact, but I really want him to give us another try. Another problem I have is that I know his friends and family are probably trying to get him over me and telling him not to mess me around and not to message me. What do I do? He’s more likely going to follow his families advice and not contact me

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      It’s ok if he doesn’t. The most important thing is you start improving yourself and be active in posting and then you can initiate contact after no contact period to slowly rebuild rapport while you continue improving yourself.