Believe it or not but there are actually a lot of different ways to discover why your ex boyfriend may be ignoring you. Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery I am sad to say that I see a lot of this (ex boyfriends ignoring their ex girlfriends) thus it would be an understatement to say that I am experienced at diving in to the male mind and dissecting it. Oh, and it also helps that I am a male myself so I kind of know what I am talking about ;).

In this article I am going to be helping you understand why your ex boyfriend is ignoring your numerous attempts to reach out and contact him. However, I don’t want to stop there. I want to give you a few steps going forward that you can implement to improve your chances of getting him to speak to you.

The #1 Mistake Women Make After A Breakup

jaws

Have you ever seen the movie Jaws? In the movie John Williams composed a score for Steven Spielberg that has gone on to become a classic.

Da Da…. Da Da… Da Da Da Da Da Da…

Ok, you get the picture. Anyways, any time women call, text or show up unannounced to their ex boyfriends house I picture that music playing. Men can sense desperation and your desperate activities are the equivalent to blood in the water for a shark. Except I would say in this case instead of you ex “being the shark” he is getting the heck out of dodge and running the other way. In the end, it all boils down to what behavior is attractive and unattractive to men.

The number one mistake that women make after a breakup is becoming to needy or desperate. I really want you to understand this section so I am going to define common desperate actions that ex girlfriends take and look at them from a males perspective.

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Texting Way Too Much

I talk about this extensively in The Texting Bible

Just sayin…

If you have read my site then you would know I am a big fan of texting to get an ex boyfriend back. That means that there is a time for texting but right after a breakup is not ideal. The problem that a lot of women make is they turn into what I like to call a text gnat. Essentially, this is a person who texts multiple times, even though they don’t get a response. I took the liberty of locating a text gnat for you so you can better understand what I am talking about here.

Check it out below:

no hint text
Essentially, the form of a text “gnat” message goes like this:

text gnat form

The main problem here is that if you are sending that many messages without any responses it makes you look totally desperate. To give you perspective, here is how a real conversation should look:

 normal conversation example

(For more text examples check out The Texting Bible)

I want you to really notice here that in this example the other person is actually engaged in the messaging and that means it is ok to keep messaging them without seeming desperate or needy.

Now, since you are reading this page I am betting that you are seeing more of the “text gnat” example above. I want to take a moment and explain to you just how harmful that line of messaging can be.

The Male Perspective On Texting Too Much

I am not going to pull any punches here so make sure you brace yourself. To a guy attention is flattering. I am not going to lie, I love getting attention from women, nothing feels better. However, when I get too much attention from them (in the form of texting) it becomes a complete turnoff.

The question you are probably asking is “why?”

Actually, it is quite simple. A girl who has to message someone that much is displaying two qualities that are a turnoff to every human being on this planet. For one, she can be way too overemotional and emotions scare guys to death. I understand that women are emotional by nature but when you show that much desperation, guys begin to get really scary thoughts. Let me give you a real example.

I remember a long time ago I was “talking” with this girl and she ended up sending me a total of 22 unanswered text messages. Now, personally speaking at first it was kind of flattering. However, once it reached that level I began to have a lot of scary thoughts.

“What if she tracks me down and tries to hurt me?”

“What if she hurts herself?”

“I hope I never see her in person again.”

The second really unattractive quality that women can display when texting too much is the fact that there is no chase involved. Call me old fashioned but I like chasing after girls. The best way I can describe this phenomenon is by comparing it to a video game. The best part of a video game is the act of trying to complete it. However, if someone were to give me all the cheat codes to the game it no longer becomes as fun. Sure, it may be a little fun at first but eventually when the cheat codes make it that easy to complete I will lose interest.

The same can be said with desperate women who text too much. It is like they hand you a cheat code and you lose all your interest after a certain amount of time.

Calling Way Too Much

calling too much

I hope you read the section above because this one is almost exactly the same except you are dealing with calling instead of texting. So, the other big mistake that women make that can cause their ex boyfriend to want to ignore them is spamming his phone with calls.

I used to think I was alone in this but I soon learned that other guys are exactly like me. A guy has to be in the right mood to talk on the phone. I am a mood person by nature. If I am not in the mood to go out and see people one day then I will not do it. The same goes for phone calls. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk on the phone. If I am in that kind of mood then trust me, you aren’t going to get me to talk on the phone.

Ah, but now enters a crazy girl (no offense) that just calls you ten times a day. Not only will it creep me out on a level I have never known before but I am really not going to pick up a phone now. You see, calling adds an element that texting does not, the human voice.

With the human voice we can tell when someone is upset, angry or happy. You can tell all of that over the phone (and with a text you would have no clue.) I wanted to point this element out because I feel it adds to the fact that he may be ignoring you.

Generally speaking, someone who is calling you a lot (back to back to back.) Has two types of news.

Really incredibly news

or

Really emotional and bad news.

Since you are an ex girlfriend of his I am betting that your call is going to be filled with emotion and bad news. Why on earth would he want to take your call and face that?

The Male Perspective On Calling Too Much

Sadly I have personal experience with a girl calling too much and I can tell you there is nothing more unattractive and annoying. I think back and those experiences and just cringe because that is how uncomfortable they made me. Given a choice between someone texting too much vs someone calling too much I would always choose texting too much. Unfortunately, a lot of times what happens is when you get a girl who sends a lot of unanswered texts that leads to her calling way too much.

Part of the problem that men have with women calling too much is that they know if they pick up the phone they are going to have to talk to a really emotional human being and while some men will get off on it most of us despise it.

Writing A Long Letter Or Email Declaring Your Love

cover letter

In my best selling book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO I warn women NOT to do this.

To me letters and emails are the same thing. The only difference is that it takes longer to respond to one. I wanted to include the “love letter/email” because I see a lot of it on the site through interacting with you. Want to know what I have learned? It rarely ever works.

Again, the one thing that all of this stuff (texting, calling, letters, emails) have in common is the fact that they are all actions taken out of desperation and que the Jaws music!

What is more desperate than a long love letter or email?

In many cases it could have the opposite effect you were hoping. You see, most women send out letters with the mindset of “this will finally make him understand.” However, the mindset that most men have is “this girl is creeping me out.” I don’t know about you but if I had that mindset I am not going to really take a love letter or email seriously.

The Male Perspective On Emails/Letters

Unfortunately, I don’t have much personal experience with ex girlfriends writing me too many letters or sending too many emails.

NOBODY LOVES ME…

No just kidding, just kidding!

The closest thing I have to it is passing letters back and forth with a girlfriend in High School which is what I would hardly call “experience” (I was young and lets be honest, in high school you don’t know what you are doing half the time.) Nevertheless, I can tell you about some of my male friends that have received letters from exes and how they reacted.

One of my best friends in the world received on of these “lay it all on the line” letters and quite honestly he laughed. He didn’t laugh to her face, he laughed behind her back and even showed me the letter making fun of some of the heartfelt words that she had said. Now, if she had tried a different approach she would have had him on his hands and knees begging for her back (I know my buddy, trust me it is possible.) However, she tried the desperate approach and this is what happens when you go full on desperate, you get laughed at behind your back.

Do not be one of those girls please!

More Common Reasons That Men Ignore Women

ignoring

In the section above I talked about some of the main reasons that an ex boyfriend would ignore his girlfriend (desperation, neediness that whole thing.) I am not going to lie to you, in 85% of the cases everything I discussed above is the main reason that he would want to ignore you. This section is the extra 15% that I didn’t cover.

He Is Doing It On Purpose To Punish You

punish

Some men have a really warped mindset. If they don’t get their way in a relationship (or even after one) they will find ways to manipulate you emotionally. Usually you hear stories about women doing this to men but it can go both ways. One way that exes know they can get under your skin is to simply ignore you for a couple of days. Now, I do want to point out that this is essentially the same thing I recommend doing with the no contact rule. However, there is one major difference. When you do something like the no contact rule you really don’t want to ignore your ex boyfriend, you want to give him time to calm down and also improve yourself in the process.

When men start ignoring you on purpose it is coming from a place of rage just because they know it will punish you. How would I know that you ask?

The Male Perspective On Ignoring To Punish

I am ashamed to say that I have used this method once before. It was in my very first relationship ever and as you can imagine, that version of me was not a great guy. Anyways, I didn’t like the way the relationship was going so I ended up ignoring my girlfriend for an entire day. I didn’t do it because I needed a break or a refresh, which I think would be ok, I did it from a place of anger to punish my girlfriend. I was literally delighted when she sent me ten texts back to back asking where I was. I watched as she worried about me and as she apologized for anything that she did wrong (she did do something wrong but FYI but ignoring her was not the way to deal with it.)

It is not something I am very proud of and I would handle that situation completely differently now but I wanted to prove to you that deep down all men are capable of something like that so it could be a reason that he is ignoring you.

He Is Using The No Contact Rule On You

no eye contact

This one is really rare. It is so rare in fact that I have never encountered it before. Essentially how this works is that your ex boyfriend is using the no contact rule on you on purpose. It is one of those rare cases where you kind of want him back and he kind of wants you back.

I made a joke on this site one time in the comments. It went something like this: “wouldn’t it be funny if you were no contacting your ex while he was no contacting you because you both wanted each other back?” For some reason my joke stuck with me because the more I thought about it the more I realized that this is entirely possible. Like I said though, it is really rare.

The Male Perspective On The No Contact Rule

I think in 95% of the cases a guy is not going to use the no contact rule. I don’t think I can be included in the “get your ex back” conversation because I know so much about it. For example, if I wanted a girlfriend back I would know exactly what to do. So, this is one case where I am the exception to the rule and my insight kind of suffers because of it.

All I can tell you is that it is highly unlikely (but still likely) that your ex is ignoring you for this reason.

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He Really Doesn’t Want To Talk To You Anymore

good-let-the-hate-flow-through-you-john-mccain-meme

I didn’t create this site to get your hopes up by feeding you false logic. Actually, the true story behind me creating this site was I typed “how to get your ex boyfriend back” in Google and thought to myself “I can totally do a better job than these jokers.” One thing I do pride myself on is the fact that I don’t pull punches with people. I tell them like it is and sometimes that means facing truths like this:

It might be possible that your ex boyfriend wants nothing to do with you anymore which is why he is ignoring you.

It is unfortunate but it could be the truth. Women who wind up in situations like this have typically wronged their ex in horrific ways. I have a buddy whose wife actually cheated on him eight different times with eight different men. Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with that girl.

Anyways, the real warning sign that you can use to figure out if this is the reason your ex is ignoring you is to think back to your relationship and figure out the ways in which you wronged him.

The Male Perspective On Him Ignoring You Because He Wants Nothing To Do With You

Realistically, the only way I would NOT talk to an ex girlfriend is if she wronged me in a horrible way. Of course, I said that above but I failed to go into the actual ways in which women can wrong men. If a woman did any of the following things to me I would seriously consider cutting her out of my life.

  • Cheating on me (one strike and your out with me (most guys aren’t like that though.))
  • Lying to me multiple times (I understand that everyone lies but if it is frequent occurrence like every single day then I will not be happy about that.)
  • Manipulating me.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Notice You Again

notice me

Lets be realistic here. It is highly unlikely that your ex is going to drop off the face of the earth and never contact you again. Yet, every single day I get a question in the comments saying something like:

“What if he never contacts me again?”

or

“He didn’t respond to my text message. My life is over…”

I can honestly say that in all my time here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery I have never encountered a situation where an ex boyfriend never talks to an ex girlfriend again. I mean come on, your ex is going to eventually contact you. The real question though is how he contacts you.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

When your ex finally does contact you he can contact you the good way, the bad way or the ugly way (see what I did there 😉 .) I am going to take a moment to explore each one. Lets start on a positive note with “the good” first.

The Good

If he messages you and doesn’t completely hate you then that is good right? Well, there is slightly more to it than that. You want your ex to message you and remain positive in his interactions. I would classify the message below as a good response from an ex boyfriend.

the good

The Bad

Essentially any type of communication where he is really dismissive or short with you. You see this a lot with one word text messages like “no,” “cool” or “ok.” Check out the example below:

the bad

The Ugly

Getting a response like this from an ex boyfriend can be heart shattering. An ugly response isn’t one where he just dismisses you it is one where he also disses you. I gave you a perfect example of an “ugly” response below:

The Ugly

(For more text message examples visit this page.)

The Key To Getting A “Good” Response

So, by now I am hoping you have realized that when you and your boyfriend get in touch again you want it to be on “good” terms. What if I told you that I have found a way that allows you to accomplish that while remaining in control? Do you think that would be something you would be interested in?

I can hear the harmonious sound of yeses all around!

The No Contact Rule = Less Desperate

The first step to getting your ex boyfriend to respond to you in a positive manner is to implement the no contact rule. This accomplishes a number of things. First off, remember way back when I talked about how desperate women are the number one turnoff that makes men ignore their exes? Well, by implementing a NC rule you can shed that “desperate” persona that your ex has you classified as. It also can work as a table flipper. What do I mean by this?

Simple, men are a lot like dogs in that we like our routines. Honestly, taking a step back I think my whole life is made of routines. I get up, start work, go for a workout then keep working. It is an endless routine but it doesn’t end there. Routines are a common occurrence in our relationships as well. If you acted desperate your ex would have gotten into the routine of ignoring you because you were desperate. So, when you stop acting desperate he is going to perk his head up and try to sniff out the reason why you stopped being desperate.

This is exactly what you want him doing because it will change the dynamic. Before it was you scrambling around for his approval. By essentially implementing a no contact rule you can get him to scramble for your approval instead. In the end though, the NC rule can do wonders for shedding your “desperateness and neediness.”

Generally speaking, I tell women to stay in the no contact rule for thirty days. That means you have to make it thirty days of not calling, texting or emailing him. Do you think you can do that?

What Do You Say To Him

You have been on the offensive before in sending text messages but he ignored them all. This time things are going to be different though. If you have successfully completed the no contact rule for thirty days then you are going to go on the offensive again but this time you are going to do it my way.

I want you to send him a text message. But not just any old text message this one has to be different.

The first thing I want you to realize is that the general texts that you are used to sending aren’t good enough. The experts will tell you that you have to send interesting texts that will capture his attention. Of course, I like to take it a step further. I like to tell my visitors that any text you send him has to be so interesting that it would be impossible for him to ignore it. That is a lot of pressure but I don’t want you to sweat it. I have a variation of a text that I love to use.

Actually, to be honest, I have never talked about this text before so this is the first time I have ever made it live. I would like to introduce you to..

The “You Aren’t Going To Believe What I Just Saw…” Text

This is a text message of my own creation and it is kind of complicated so listen up. Our ultimate goal here is to not just get a response but to get a “good” one. Initially, when you send this text message out you aren’t going to get a positive response right off the bat. I would say it is normal to receive a neutral response. The beauty of this text though is that it sets you up for a positive response.

So, the first step is to send this text message to him:

I just saw

Notice how this text message is intriguing as it just begs for him to respond to it with a “what?” or “what did you see?” At this point you are going to step on the breaks. The initial “what I saw” text you just sent him is just a test to see if he responds. If he does respond then you are going to take out a stopwatch or phone and wait between 30-60 minutes.

Why would I want you do do that?

Because, it kicks the tension up a knot. I want him to check his phone every five minutes waiting for your response. It is the equivalent to having an audience on the edge of their seat waiting to find out what happens next. You are trying to do that but to your ex boyfriend.

Once you wait the 30-60 minutes it is time send the next part of the text message. I want you to think back to your relationship together. Think back to an innocent but fun memory you had together then I want you to send him something like this:

jamie kennedy

Take notice how I included an innocent but pleasant memory from a past relationship in this example. This is important because it will bring up nostalgic feelings in your ex and he can’t help but want to respond positively!
Now, once he does respond positively you have accomplished your mission and he isn’t ignoring you anymore!

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1,946 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

  1. Avatar

    null

    March 15, 2021 at 12:18 am

    My ex lied to me for 10.5 years about hanging out with women behind my back even though I encouraged him to be honest.. we broken up Jan 13 of the of this year and said it is ok to text but he is finding this difficult and does nothing want to actually talk.. so I quit texting him almost a month ago and not a word from him.. so strange..

  2. Avatar

    sara

    March 7, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    I’ve been seeing a guy for about 10 months although long distance.. we spoke everyday and it was amazing.. I noticed he didn’t really have any future plans for us or didn’t really want to commit.. about a month ago we had an argument and he suddenly started ignoring me stopped reading all my messages on WhatsApp even when I apologised and told him I miss and love him for the last month.. he still not reading my messages.. I don’t understand how he can ignore me and not even be straight forward and just say he doesn’t want to speak to me.. he hasn’t even blocked me. It’s been a month how can he not miss me or how we spoke everyday. It’s like he hates me so much and I haven’t even done anything wrong and it’s breaking my heart.

  3. Avatar

    Claire

    February 21, 2021 at 9:22 am

    My partner cheated on me with the woman she’s dating now.
    That woman knew that we’re still on. And that girl ruined our relationship.

    My partner and I didn’t have a formal break up/ closure. We haven’t talked for weeks, but every week he sent me messages asking how am i, and keeps on calling me, but i ignored his calls and he keeps on contacting my friend to check on me. He even sent me a msg on valentines day. He greeted me.

    What do you think is his intention? Is this a part of guilt? Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 23, 2021 at 3:41 pm

      Hi Claire, yes I think he is behaving out of guilt but also may realise he has lost you from his actions. Keep ignoring him and stick with a 45 day no contact.

  4. Avatar

    EleanaParis

    February 9, 2021 at 6:36 am

    So basically I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago I weigh 63 days without speaking to him because we had broken up four times before this one the other times we broke up were often on often on for only like two weeks we broke up this time I got really upset because of all the fighting we were doing and I decided to remove myself from the relationship we were dating for almost a year I broke up with him because things were getting really toxic I removed myself from the situation he begged me not to break up with him he cried then I just left him alone because I had to remove myself got my thoughts my mind my heart together because everything was just really toxic now two months later I try to text him he won’t respond but sent me a message through a friend insulting message put off anger I feel he’s still angry with me for breaking up I explained in my text that I loved him I was sorry for hurting him but needed time to get my kind right he never responded still hasn’t responded after 64 days no contact what shall I do next ,???

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 11, 2021 at 9:18 pm

      Hi Eleana, I would suggest that you reach out with one of Chris texts to try and start a conversation with your ex.

  5. Avatar

    D

    January 16, 2021 at 1:17 pm

    Hi I am D
    I started dating my ex few months ago we both love each other is it’s very obvious We always want to be together spend time together and hav fun A day before my birthday I couldn’t get to reach him but early morning on my birthday he texted me that his phone went off and I know it’s true so he wished me happy birthday so days after whenever I call him he won’t pick my call saying he is busying which I know how things is going on with him presently so he said he is sorry if he is not having my time and giving me attention so I said it fine weeks after I complained again and he said he wants us to take a break that whenever he is ready he will get back to me but it’s my first time hearing it from a guy to take a break so I thought it will leads to breakup so I begged him and we dated back
    Early this year we talked he promised to do a lot of this for me as we move into a new year so I became to happy and we planned to meet when I get back to school but he started changing plans and suddenly he is giving me time to call him and not to call I started noticing this but I thought because he is busy and I admit to it so last week he send me a break up message that he need to be alone that he doesn’t want a relationship
    I begged him but he is not even replying to my chats and I saw it here on the page to start a no contact with your ex if you want to get him back and I started doing that
    My fear is that with all this will I be able to get him back?
    After the no contact is he going to take me back to his life
    Or I should move on ????

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 4, 2021 at 7:11 pm

      Hi D, I am sorry I cannot answer your question if he will take you back or not – that is only something he can decide. As for trying to get him back or not, that is your choice to try, we can only provide you with advice for what ever you choose to do.

  6. Avatar

    Jane

    January 11, 2021 at 9:20 am

    After seeing a man for 5 weeks, thinking we had a real connection he dumped me just before Christmas.. stating he cannot handle the emotions, and isn’t ready for a relationship. I was his first date after a 25 year marriage broke up 18 months ago. From what I can gather his ex wife wasn’t very pleasant to live with for some time. He’s now mostly ignoring me, sometimes will respond to a question. Was going to catch up with me last week, but got cold feet and declined. Is it too late to use the no contact rule to try to get him back. Any other suggestions ?
    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 11, 2021 at 6:16 pm

      Hi Jane, no it is not too late to start following the no contact rule now. Just be sure that you stick with it and follow the advice given in he articles.

  7. Avatar

    Jess

    October 25, 2020 at 11:06 am

    I went no contact 3 days after he finally left.. 2 weeks or so in he contacted me! Called me from his number(which was blocked) and then a different number! Said ge lost his phone but this was all within the same 30-45 minutes but ok whatever! We chatted he asked what was up and was basically trying to see me i kept turning him down. Finally let him come over last Sunday and we slept together.. Before he came i asked if he wanted to be fwb due to me not being with anyone new yet fwb would kill my feelings for him.. He didn’t answer me.. The sex was good but how he reacted to me looking different and my place being rearranged was a turn off! I feel like he’s talked himself into believing that I’ve moved on already.. I was trying to reason with him but it didn’t work.. Texted him after he left and no reply, he got the happy bday text but didn’t reply.. Texted him today no reply.. Why contact me??? He changed his number to reach me then ignore me? I even asked if he moved on. He won’t answer but when i asked if he jist wanted things to be over for good he said i need to be your friend again 1st

  8. Avatar

    Lil

    October 3, 2020 at 7:06 pm

    Hi. So I met this guy on a dating site. We both took it off the site and became exclusive. We were texting each other every day for six months. We are both Christians and in between our messaging he would send me inspiring messages about God and I would do the same. We were making arrangements to meet face to face when things get better with Covid 19. He even said that he just got someone he is going to leave to oversee his business while on vacation in my country. I then made the worst mistake and asked him for help. I asked him for help last month and he didn’t respond until the next day, but even the next day he just acted as if I never asked him for a favor. I ended up telling him not to worry I no longer need his help. To my stupidity I asked again last week and again he ignored me. What was worse was that I texted him and asked if he could go online because we need to talk. He then greeted me and said he is tired and stinky. Instead of showing him that I care, I just asked him for help. He disappeared online immediately at that very moment. I texted him a while later and I said if he wants to end the relationship I will respect his decision. I regret my actions. I wish I could take everything back. I’m emotionally wrecked. We had plans. I did a thorough research on him and he was not a ghost. I texted him and said I’m sorry and explained that I made a mistake but he doesn’t reply to my messages. I think he does not even read my messages because when I sent messages it would say read and seen but with no time. I don’t know if I should let go or what.

  9. Avatar

    Larey

    September 28, 2020 at 8:02 pm

    Hey! My last relationship ended on pretty bad terms. We haven’t seen each other for 7 months now! I kept trying to contacting him even tho he told me that he never wants to talk to me again!our last communication was him saying he needs time and is not ready to be friends or hang out! I saw him last week. He was with a new women, walked passed me, said hello to my friend and pretended I didn’t exist! Two days later, I wrote him that I saw him and I would have been happy for him to say hello! Nothing Since…

  10. Avatar

    Jane

    September 25, 2020 at 7:50 am

    So I ended it with my boyfriend a week ago, at the time it seemed like the right thing to do but it was said in the middle of an argument and I’m now regretting it. I’ve reached out to him, seen him a couple of times since and wrote a letter but he has no interest in getting back together or talking. Now reading the above I would say I’ve maybe handled it wrong in that I’ve been super desperate. If I try the no contact now will it still work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 25, 2020 at 8:45 pm

      Hi Jane, yes it can still work but you need to follow the NC for 45 days so that your ex gets a good break from contact with you and starts to wonder where you went so suddenly!

  11. Avatar

    Veronica

    September 1, 2020 at 4:32 am

    I ended things with a guy I was in a FWB relationship with because I preferred to be in a proper relationship. Afterwards he always texted me first alternating between being friendly and chatty and being cold and having me wondering why he even texted. He came to my job and placed a huge order so I became forced to stay in contact with him, after I refused to play along when he would try to make the conversation more sexual he started ignoring me then after a day come back adding to or referring to the order. I don’t know what to make of it. It’s probably one of the weirdest scenarios I’ve been in.

  12. Avatar

    Melissa

    August 8, 2020 at 6:04 am

    Hi Chris, my bf broke up with me a little more than a month ago, saying we were not compatible. I accepted the breakup calmly and he was relieved. He even said things like I can always contact him if I ever need any help and we joked a little. Overall not a bad breakup at all. No begging, pleading, cheating involved just mutual respect. He contacted me once after a week and I replied politely. Then I started NC for maybe 35~40 days I didn’t count the days. It lasted a little longer than 30 days because I was really trying to get myself into that healthy mental state where I can be sure if I want him back. I texted him the other day and he replied quite fast and very positively, asking me questions with emojis and all. However he suddenly pulled away after he asked me things about my life. I know I didn’t do anything that seems crazy and he has always been an avoidant type of guy. But I’m just so confused why would he backed off all of a sudden. Now the ball is in his court there’s nothing I can do except for waiting for him to text back. I am now in a better mental state where I am totally cool with not getting him back but I would be lying saying that it doesn’t hurt that he just ghosted me. And I was wondering why there should be no hard feelings and I did nothing desperate that he still did this? Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 8, 2020 at 11:11 pm

      Hey Melissa, so when someone just stops replying when the conversation was going well and civil. As rude as it could seem, he could have just gotten bored of the conversation and thought – I’m done replying now. Or he got distracted by something else that was more important to him at the time. The good thing is that you know he is open to talking to you if you wanted to get him back. I would suggest that you read some texting articles before reaching out to him again

  13. Avatar

    deep

    July 31, 2020 at 4:16 am

    hi me and my boyfriend meet on instagram ,then we also meet in real life but after a good one year somethings are been changed he suddenly start ignoring my text messages i text him but he sees and then don’t give reply . i really dont know what to do i only know that i love him very much and i cant just go things like in every breakup relationship….he always talk about other girls infront of me and then say are u jealous ..i always reply him with no but somewhere he knows that i m jealous…. 2 days ago we also slept together ,but from past 2-3 days he start ignoring me…the way we use to talk all of sudden they changes now he rarely reply…i dont have any idea…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 31, 2020 at 1:10 pm

      Hi Deep, I am not sure what advice you are looking for, at the moment your only choice is to follow a No Contact and keep with it for at least 30 days without reaching out to him or getting back in touch with him if he tries to contact you

  14. Avatar

    Cleo

    July 24, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    My bf broke up with me 2 months ago. Up to a month ago we had contact but I was desperate and he called me out on it saying he couldn’t handle it. He broke up with me to focus on saving his business during Corona. I did the NC for 35 days and contacted him yesterday. He has not opened it or replied… I am really scared he ignores me on purpose because he is so done with me… I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I give him more space he’ll move on (maybe even with someone new) and then I’ll lose him forever.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 24, 2020 at 10:55 pm

      Hey Cleo did you reach out using one of the texts that Chris suggests in his articles? I would say that you completed NC correctly as long as you used those 35 days to focus on you and not stalked him on social media. Are you also working on the Ungettable information so that you are the best version of yourself ready for when you do have conversations with him?

  15. Avatar

    Lola bergs

    July 22, 2020 at 3:50 pm

    Hi! So my bf of two years broke up with me because we fought a lot. I was happy we broke up because he woke me up proving to me that I do love Him and I just needed that slap. So I really want to try again and prove it won’t ever be the same. I spammed him like crazy because I’m hurt because I know he loves me but he just ended it and ignored me. What do I do? I want him to understand it won’t be the same. From today I will NOT text him for the next 30 days. But what happens if he doesn’t contact me in a month or two???

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 25, 2020 at 7:59 pm

      Hey Lola after you have completed a 30 day no contact you can then move on to the texting phase, which you can read about in the different articles on this website

  16. Avatar

    Julie

    June 21, 2020 at 12:29 pm

    Hi. I was really annoyed and broke up with my boyfriend, but retretted it 1 hour later and sent long texts saying sorry and How much i care, and all our memories the first few days. But he does not believe i actually care about him, and he is really annoyed and hurt. He responds really short and sometimes just leaves me on read. What do i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 27, 2020 at 9:35 pm

      Give him time to calm down and then reach out, follow a NC of 30 days

  17. Avatar

    Skylar Ceccoli-Eiffert

    June 12, 2020 at 11:49 pm

    Hello me and my ex broke up a week ago, but he messaged me four days ago saying he loved me, but I missed his call and he got pissed off when I said loved him. I texted him today asking how he is and he left me on read. He resently started following my insta and started liking my pictures. I don’t know what going on he’s giving me mixed signals.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 13, 2020 at 10:01 pm

      Hey Skylar, you need to follow a No Contact, for a solid 30 days

  18. Avatar

    Rich

    June 12, 2020 at 3:19 pm

    Hi,

    So last Sunday I walkout on my man while he was sleeping and sent a text explaining why I left. He hasn’t responded nor reached out since. What does that mean? I haven’t contacted him either. I really want to know how he feels. I want to send him a text today.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 12, 2020 at 8:54 pm

      Hi Rich, if he hasnt reached out then he most likely will be hurt upset and not wanting to talk to you right now. If you do not want to be with him then leave him be

  19. Avatar

    Sali

    May 23, 2020 at 10:58 am

    Thank you for answering me , bt I do not think if being there method will work for me , I texted him after completing my NC , and he ignored me again, I felt bad after all what we shared this is what I get on return, I didn’t do wrong he was the one who cheated and lied and told me to move on with my life I don’t think if its TRUST issue like the way he told me that I will not TRUST him again , I think he love the other lady now and he doesn’t want anything to do with me , even though he took me to his family and his friends are telling me he really loved me so much but I can’t understand why he is ignoring me and he was the one who lied, I found it awful but being ignored for 3 months that shows me he has already moved on and forget about us , although I still want him but it’s time to let him go and move on with my life even if its hurt so much ….any advice please

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 29, 2020 at 6:22 pm

      Hi Sali, so if he is still ignoring you then I would say that it was the OW who is not willing to let him talk to you. So your approach for the being there method is going to have to be slow and gentle if you want to try get him back. I am sorry to ask, but as you can see I answer so many, how long was your No Contact? It should have been 45 days long and then your first reach out was a text that Chris suggests correct?

  20. Avatar

    GK

    May 16, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    Thank you for this. I was just dumped on Monday by someone I cared for very deeply. At first I was angry with him because he always said I was the best girlfriend he’s ever had. However, he dumped me because he felt rushed. I’m 28 and he’s 25. So he felt that I loved him too fast and freely and he said he had a change of heart. We ended on good terms after we spoke. At first we were ok on social media but he completely cut me off and did not contact me at all. So I messaged him once and he responded respectfully and kindly. Than I decided to remove him off everything without saying a word or responding. So I went 4 days of NC, I slipped up today and now I will start fresh. So this will become day 1. I don’t ever want him back though. I want him to regret losing the best thing to happen to him. Because I know I treated him better than anyone has not only because he said these words are before and after the break up, but because I know my worth. I’m Thankful I came across this page. Now I will wait the 30 days and save this! Thank you so much ♥️

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