Why Do Men Fall Out Of Love With You

Imagine you met the man of your dreams.

He’s handsome…

Charming…

Smart…

Basically everything you wished for as a little girl.

The two of you have this amazing relationship where it almost seems like you were destined to be together.

You are completing each others sentences…

You can’t keep your hands off each other…

And you have all those great inside jokes that no one understands except you…

You are basically this couple,

neck kissing

But then something happens…

All of a sudden the man or your dreams starts to become distant. It doesn’t happen overnight. Rather its a long drawn out process. You used to not be able to go a moment without talking to each other but now you go days.

You start to get that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach and sense that a breakup is on the horizon.

Sure enough, it happens.

You hear the five words that no woman ever wants to hear.

“I don’t love you anymore?”

Upon hearing this you are devastated.

All kinds of questions run through your head.

“How is this even possible?”

“How is it that he can’t love me anymore when I still love him so much?”

“What did I do wrong?”

Well, with this article I am going to be answering these very delicate questions.

First though, I think we should have a little discussion on if it is even possible for a man to fall out of love.

Can A Man Even Fall Out Of Love With You?

simply

Would you like to hear something funny about me?

I absolutely love Disney movies!

This is a fact my wife constantly teases me about.

How much do I love Disney movies?

Well, one day my wife was looking up the highest grossing movies Disney movies of all time on Wikipedia and she decided to test me.

The Test- How many of the 50 movies listed there have I seen.

How many of the movies on the list do you think I have seen?

30?

35?

45?

Nope, I had seen every single one of them…

“My name is Chris and I have a problem.”

Hey, everyone has quirks so don’t judge.

Anyways, the thing I have always found interesting about Disney movies was the fact that they promote the idea of true love.

What is true love?

true love

(P.S. I am also a fan of the Princess Bride)

True love is this idea that love is everlasting and won’t ever end. In other words, if you have true love with someone then you will be with that one person for your entire life and you won’t ever falter or look elsewhere.

It’s an incredible idea but is it real?

Does True Love Exist?

bigfoot

True love is one of the rarest things on this earth.

So yes, technically it does exist.

However, it is very rare and most people never experience it.

Why?

Because it IS possible for people to fall out of love and unfortunately a lot of people do.

I deal with exes every single day…

Technically if these couples were experiencing true love the thought of breaking up with each other wouldn’t even be crossing their minds. Heck, people who are experiencing true love wouldn’t even know this site exists.

The Disney Problem

You know how much I love Disney, right?

Well, as much as I love Disney I do have one issue with their movies.

Their movies have convinced everyone that true love is common when it is not. Look, if you have true love in your life consider yourself lucky because most people can live a lifetime without knowing it.

From a young age we watch Disney movies and from a young age we are taught that there is someone out there that loves just us and won’t ever cheat on us or leave us.

So, this shapes our perception of love and it makes it even more devastating when things don’t work according to plan.

Ok, enough of this depression.

Lets turn our attention to the real reason you are here, to get answers.

Falling Out Of Love…

all out of love

A while back I sent out an email to my newsletter subscribers and asked them what they would like me to write about?

The very first response I got back was this question,

“Chris, is it possible for a man to fall out of love with you? If so, why?”

Well, technically that is two questions but I think you get the gist of it.

Above I answered the first question,

“Is it possible for a man to fall out of love with you?”

(Yes, anyone can fall out of love and we blame Disney for that 😉 .)

Well, below I am going to be answering the next question,

  • Why do men fall out of love with you?

Lets dive right in!

Why Do Men Fall Out Of Love With You?

whyyyy

There are literally hundreds, maybe even thousands of reasons for why a man could fall out of love with you.

Now, I know this is going to be a touchy subject for a few of you since the last thing you probably want to do is take a look at such a negative aspect of relationships. However, if you really want insight into the mind of a man you have to wade through the muck sometimes.

Above I mentioned that there could be thousands of reasons for why a man might fall out of love with you.

Well, I don’t know about you but I can’t sit here and write about thousands of reasons.

(Even I don’t have the time and patience for that and I write A LOT.)

So, what I am going to do for you is give you the most common “fall out of love” reasons that I have seen through this site.

Of course, that isn’t the only thing I am going to do for you.

You see, I believe in giving as much valuable information as I possibly can to you and for this article I have decided that in addition to explaining why men can fall out of love with you I am also going to give you my strategies for safeguarding your relationship to prevent that particular reason from happening to you.

Let’s begin!

Reason #1- The Honeymoon Period Ends

over now

A common complaint you hear from men who have fallen out of love is,

“Things just aren’t the same between us anymore..”

or

“My feelings have changed…”

It’s actually really ironic because the only reason they say things like this is because they get so used to how the relationship feels during the honeymoon period that they grade everything on the relationship based on that feeling.

Take a look at the graph below.

Screen Shot 2015-02-10 at 12.12.47 PM

Imagine that, that arrow represents the height of your relationship, the honeymoon period.

It’s a period where you see your significant other as perfect. It’s almost like they can do no wrong or they are some sort of transcendent being.

Well, some men get so used to the honeymoon period that they start grading the entire relationship by that standard.

So, when the honeymoon period wears off and comes back down to earth…

Screen Shot 2015-02-10 at 12.19.52 PM

Your boyfriend starts to think there is something wrong in the relationship.

He isn’t developed enough emotionally to understand that the honeymoon period at the beginning of a relationship isn’t supposed to last forever. It’s supposed to come back down to earth after a while.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the way your boyfriend got it in his head that the way that he feels during the honeymoon period is how he is supposed to feel throughout the entire relationship. So, when the honeymoon period does wear off he starts to think he is falling out of love with you when really what is happening is he is just returning to normal.

So, now that you understand this concept how do we safeguard a relationship from it?

How To Safeguard Your Relationship

In my mind safeguarding your relationship from reason number one all has to do with your selection of man.

A man who thinks he is falling out of love because the honeymoon period ends probably hasn’t experienced a lot of relationships before. This kind of means that in order to safeguard reason number one from happening to you your boyfriends past relationship experience is in demand.

In other words, it can be a bit risky for you to fall for someone who hasn’t had a lot of relationship experience in the past because they might make the honeymoon period mistake.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Reason #2- You Cheated On Him

Cheating

I am going to tell you a little bit about myself.

When it comes to relationships I am more loyal than a dog.

I mean, some men aren’t made for monogamy but I definitely was.

If there is a god out there I often imagine that when he created me he thought to himself,

“Let’s make this guy the most loyal man on earth.”

So, when you understand that about me you probably also understand that when it comes to people who aren’t loyal I am not really a fan of their actions. Yes, that sometimes puts me at odds with you guys (sorry.) Seriously, sometimes I will read a situation from the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Nation and think to myself,

“WHYYY… Why would you cheat?”

So, lets do a little role play here.

Lets say that you and I are dating and you make the biggest mistake of your life and cheat on me (and trust me it would be a mistake because I am AWESOME.)

I would without a doubt fall out of love with you because to me cheating is the biggest betrayal you can make in a relationship.

Now, that is just me.

Is it possible that other men can feel differently?

Umm… no, not really.

Even though other men might not be as loyal as I am I guarantee you that they will feel just as betrayed.

But why?

What is it about cheating that makes a man fall out of love?

Why Cheating Makes A Man Fall Out Of Love

I am going to open up a bit and speak from the heart here.

Lets say that you and I were dating and you cheated on me.

(Oh, and I didn’t find out from you, I found out from the guy you cheated on me with. )

Well, in this case I would experience a number of emotions.

I would experience,

  • Anger
  • Depression
  • Self Doubt
  • Paranoia
  • A Need For Revenge

Lets also make another assumption. Lets say that despite all of this I stuck with you. I decided to try to forgive and forget and move on with our relationship.

Well, I know for a fact that every time you’d go out with your friends, family or you’d be at work I would wonder in the back of my head,

“I wonder if she is f**king some guy right now?”

I would seriously wonder that.

I know it’s an irrational thought to have all the time in every situation but you betrayed me, remember?

Oh, and then I would picture you with some other guy and it would make me furious. Just the thought of him having you or you giving yourself to him in ways that you wouldn’t give to me would make me livid.

Now, I am going to ask you a very simple question.

If you had done this to me do you think I would love you more or less after it happened?

LESS!

How To Safeguard Your Relationship

This one is simple…

DON’T CHEAT.

Or at the very least if you think you are going to cheat and realize there is no hope for your relationship then just break up with your boyfriend so you don’t make more of a mess of your relationship by potentially crushing him for years to come.

 Reason #3- You No Longer Admire Him

admiration

Men love to feel admired.

I can attest to this.

I want my wife to think I am the greatest man who ever walked the earth. Now, I can guarantee you that I am not the greatest man who ever walked the earth but if my wife thinks I am then all is right in my little world.

(Kind of pathetic, huh?)

The point is simple, I love feeling admired by her and your boyfriend is probably no different.

When you first started dating he probably felt like he was the most important person on this earth to you but something along the way changed.

Maybe you got bogged down and depressed by troubles at work…

Maybe you were having health problems and this caused you to close up emotionally…

Heck, maybe you just flat out started ignoring him and his needs…

Whatever the case you have to remember that your boyfriend has an ego to feed and it is constantly hungry. Now, most women understand this and do a great job of feeding that ego but every once in a while a woman can get preoccupied with other things and completely forget to feed it.

This is a very bad thing because it means a man is going to start to feel a lack of admiration.

A Lack Of Admiration Leads To A Lack Of Love

Lets do another fun little role-play.

Lets say that you and I are dating and when we first start dating you are doing an amazing job of making me feel admired.

You are constantly telling me how great I am…

How handsome I am…

How I have the body of a Greek God…

How out of all the men in the world I am the greatest lover you have ever had…

How I am the best thing that has ever walked this earth…

Did I let that go on for a little too long?

Oops..

Anyways, at the beginning of our relationship I am feeling pretty darn admired.

Lets fast forward three years and change the dynamic of the relationship entirely.

While the beginning of our relationship was marked with you constantly “admiring me” the end of it is marked with you not making me feel admired at all. Instead, all you do now is criticize me (which is perfectly fine every once in a while if I do something wrong.) However, the amount you criticize me is a little too much.

All of those great compliments you were giving me at the beginning of the relationship have disappeared and now I am commonly thinking thoughts like,

“I wonder if she still looks at me in that way…”

or

“I wish I was with someone who appreciated me…”

So, three years later now that the dynamic of our relationship has changed do you think I am more in love or less in love with you?

The answer is quite simple, I am not in love with you anymore because instead of feeling admired I am feeling like I am beneath you. I constantly have to scramble for your approval and I can’t get a compliment from you without first having to ask for it.

How To Safeguard Your Relationship

I know what I just told you is a bit of a shallow outlook on men but I took it to the extreme to make a point clear.

Most men don’t need admiration on a daily basis and oftentimes women who can make men constantly crave their admiration win out in the end. So, there is an advantage to not constantly giving a man the admiration he craves. However, don’t let this fool you into thinking that you can’t ever let your feelings out and admire the man you are dating.

What you really need to do is find a balance between admiring and not admiring (with the intent of making him crave your admiration.)

So, what I would say the best practice is, is to constantly jump between admiring and not admiring.

For example, lets say that one day you decide that you really want to admire your boyfriend and let him know what you really think of him (the good things.) So, you spend the entire day just showering him with compliments and being all lovey dovey…

On this day you are setting the standard and he is going to subconsciously think that you are going to admire him like this every single day.

Well, the next day I want you to spend the entire day NOT complimenting him.

Don’t be mean about it or anything like that.

Just make it a normal day where the two of you interact and have fun but don’t feed his ego with a ton of compliments.

Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way so allow me to dive in a bit deeper.You can still say stuff like, “I love you” or “I miss you” but you cannot say stuff like,

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me…”

or

“You have the most incredible body on a guy that I have ever seen…”

or

“You are the most handsome man I have ever seen…”

Do you get it?

One day you shower him with those type of compliments and the next day you don’t show him with them. After a few days you shower him with the compliments again. The idea here is to always keep him guessing and craving these compliments from you.

This way he is constantly seeking your attention.

Reason #4- You Are Way Too Clingy

clingy

Lets now turn our attention to a situation where a woman showers her boyfriend with WAAYYY too much attention and expects the same amount of attention in return.

A girl who is clingy is kind of cute at first… until it’s not…

Does that make sense?

No?

Ok, allow me to explain.

Above we established that most men seek attention from women.

In other words, they want to feel admired by them.

Well, what type of girl is more admiring than a girl who loves you so much that she becomes clingy?

So, at first a girl who is clingy can kind of be attractive to a guy. After all, she is really making him feel admired. Of course, there is a point where it becomes too much.

For example, lets say that we are dating and you are starting to become clingy to me.

Well, at first I will probably think to myself,

“Wow, this is kind of cute. She must really care for me a lot.”

Of course, I am under the assumption that your clingy behavior is going to stop eventually. So, when it doesn’t that is when we have a problem. All of a sudden my “cute” thoughts about you turn into “hate” thoughts about you and slowly but surely I will start to fall out of love with you.

So, how are you supposed to prevent this from happening if you know that you are a bit clingy in relationships?

How To Safeguard Your Relationship

The main take away here is that men kind of like a little clingyness upfront BUT only upfront. There is a point where it can be too much. So, if you know you are susceptible to being clingy in relationships then you definitely want to make a mental note to tone it down.

“Yes Chris… I know that but HOW?”

I am going to give you a piece of advice.

If your whole world revolves around pleasing the person you are in a relationship with then you are most likely going to be clingy.

Instead, you should be looking to find another purpose with your life than just this one person you are dating. Look, I know that may be kind of hard to hear since if you are on this website then you must love your boyfriend A LOT. However, remember that you also have to have your own life.

So go get it!

P.S.

Women who end up “getting their own lives” often have an interesting effect on their boyfriends or ex boyfriends.

What is the effect?

Their boyfriends end up being the clingy ones!

Reason #5- You Are Insanely High Maintenance

In a perfect world high maintenance wouldn’t matter.

Whenever I think of high maintenance girls I always think back to that episode of Friends where everyone keeps telling Monica she is high maintenance…

(Sorry for the stupid ads…)

In a perfect world you would all have a Chandler telling you that he likes “maintaining you..”

Of course, we don’t live in a perfect world…

Instead, what usually happens when a guy finds out that his girlfriend is super high maintenance is he gets extremely annoyed.

Sometimes when I am scanning through my own personal Facebook profile I will see one of my friends post something like,

“Yes, I am high maintenance BUT I’m worth it…”

Umm…

No, no your not…

Let me explain something to you.

A girl who is super high maintenance isn’t attractive to men.

Now, before I go on I think it is important for me to define what I mean by “high maintenance.”

What I Consider To Be A High Maintenance Girl

Do yourself a favor, go to Google and type in,

“What is high maintenance.”

Once you do this you will be greeted by two definitions,

  1. Needing a lot of work to keep in good condition.
  2. A person (or relationship) demanding a lot of attention.

Most people mistake high maintenance for definition number one. Well, when I talk about high maintenance here on the site I am talking about definition number two.

Ok, imagine for a second that you are in a relationship with a guy and he is constantly demanding all of your attention.

Instead of both of you attending to each others wants and needs it is all about him.

He is completely selfish and seems like he doesn’t ever care about what YOU want in a relationship.

I am betting you would be kind of annoyed.

Why?

Because the relationship would be all about him.

THAT IS WHAT A HIGH MAINTENANCE GIRL IS LIKE.

Selfishly men want their needs taken care of too so this can create a problem in a relationship when their needs aren’t being taken care of.

It creates resentment and resentment and falling out of love go hand in hand..

How To Safeguard Your Relationship

If you are high maintenance and you know it then you have some work to do to safeguard your relationship.

I would say that your best defense in your case is to always make a point of making sure your boyfriend is taken care of.

Also, don’t be offended if he can’t do every little thing you want.

No man is superman…

Well, except me 😉

superman me

So, I guess what I am saying is not every man is ME!

(I hope you realize I am just kidding.)

Reason #6- His Needs Weren’t Met (Emotionally or Physically)

more

(Disney makes yet another appearance….)

No man is going to stay in a relationship (long term) if he feels his needs aren’t being met.

Now, women get incredibly offended when a man tells them something like,

“You aren’t meeting (Need A) or (Need B.)”

For example, if we were dating and I said,

“I feel like you are never there for me when I need you to be…”

No doubt you would take that as me saying,

“You aren’t good enough for me…”

Well, that is really not what I am saying at all.

All I am doing by telling you that I feel like you aren’t there for me when I need you to be is to tell you what I need from you to be happy.

In other words, I am trying to help YOU out in the relationship.

Now, lets say that you really make an effort to “be there for me” and I am still not pleased. Well, in this case you have my permission to be angry at me for still being upset about it.

Why?

Because you are making an effort and that is all anyone can ask of anyone in a relationships.

A Word On Physical Needs

I feel like I am about to kick a hornets nest full of angry women here…

hornets nest

Eh… What the heck, I am going to risk it.

Sex and love go hand in hand…

More particularly, a lack of sex and a lack of love go hand in hand.

I know I am going to get those women out there swearing up and down that their boyfriend is better than that. In fact, I once had a woman tell me that there is more to love than sex…

She is right…

Love is an incredible emotion that has a lot more to it than just sex.

Here’s a fun little test.

I want you to go out and pick a guy to fall in love with. In the first three months of dating him I want you to have an incredible relationship with him. In other words, I want you to laugh, have fun, have deep intimate discussions AND be intimate with each other on a very frequent basis.

Ok, so now that you got him hooked lets test to see if sex really has a correlation to falling out of love.

I want you to tell him that for the next year you will not be sleeping together…

Not once…

You won’t even let him touch you.

How long do you think he would stay with you then?

Something tells me not long.

…..

(Drops Mic…)

drops mic

I’m out!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

Leave a Reply

218 Comments on "Why Do Men Fall Out Of Love With You"

avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest
Notify of
Samantha
Guest
My ex boyfriend loved me a lot but we had a long distance relationship in which he kept coming to see me. Towards the end we had communication problems and during our last meeting we didn’t even touch. We stayed together until I deleted him off everything one week before our anniversary because I was fed up of making him understand that he had to try and text regularly. He said he didn’t want to lose me but then didn’t reply to my message and 3 weeks after NC when I reached out he was acting cold and distant saying… Read more »
Coddie
Guest

Hi Amor

Thank you very much for assistanting me throughout, you’ve been great assistance its highly appreciated, I wasn’t hoping to hear this but I feel I should be more realistic although and accept the situation I haven’t spoken to him since the 25th since he said i shouldn’t contact him, on the 28th it was his birth day I didn’t call him nor SMS him, should I call and tell him I’ve moved on or should I just keep silence he will read in between the lines ?

Yet again thank you Chris and Amor….

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

If you’re moving on.. no need tell him, you just continue moving on.

Coddie
Guest

Hi Amor

Thank you very much for assistanting me throughout, you’ve been great assistance its highly appreciated, I wasn’t hoping to hear this but I feel I should be more realistic although and accept the situation I haven’t spoken to him since the 25th since he said i shouldn’t contact him, on the 28th it was his birth day I didn’t call him nor SMS him, should I call and tell him I’ve moved on or should I just keep silence he will read in between the lines ?

Yet again thank you Chris and Amor….

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

If you’re moving on.. no need tell him, you just continue moving on.

Coddie
Guest
Hey Amor He replied back to the message and said he just needs a peace of mind, he needs space to just figure stuff out until next month, he said we will date next month and sort things out then , so I asked him why wait till next month when his certain we getting back next month , he said he just needs space now , so I asked him until when next month he said he will text me back so I asked him how will I know what to do know? Like should I move on and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah he is..he’s stringing you along, you should move on..

Coddie
Guest
Hey Amor He replied back to the message and said he just needs a peace of mind, he needs space to just figure stuff out until next month, he said we will date next month and sort things out then , so I asked him why wait till next month when his certain we getting back next month , he said he just needs space now , so I asked him until when next month he said he will text me back so I asked him how will I know what to do know? Like should I move on and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah he is..he’s stringing you along, you should move on..

Coddie
Guest
Hey Amor I asked him why ?his like we had a mutual agreement , I said I don’t love him I deserve better and that he doesn’t satisfy me , so I said I lied I was angry and hurt bcz he said that to me too, he started screaming I think his angry asking what was I doing on his phone and that I’m still going to pursist sending people messages on his phone and deleting it he seems angry (all of this Is been done over the phone becz we both have gone home) this started when he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just send a clean slate text, explain everything, apologize but say goodbye and then thank him for everything and then start the nc rule because you have to get your power back in that way…

Coddie
Guest
Hey Amor I asked him why ?his like we had a mutual agreement , I said I don’t love him I deserve better and that he doesn’t satisfy me , so I said I lied I was angry and hurt bcz he said that to me too, he started screaming I think his angry asking what was I doing on his phone and that I’m still going to pursist sending people messages on his phone and deleting it he seems angry (all of this Is been done over the phone becz we both have gone home) this started when he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Just send a clean slate text, explain everything, apologize but say goodbye and then thank him for everything and then start the nc rule because you have to get your power back in that way…

Coddie
Guest

Hy Amor
I’ve spoken to him he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now but he is still trying to pursue that girl because he confronted me about a messege i sent to this girl on his phone a few weeks back.he says he still wants the break up. And he doesn’t want to date now

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what did you say when he said that?

Coddie
Guest

Hy Amor
I’ve spoken to him he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now but he is still trying to pursue that girl because he confronted me about a messege i sent to this girl on his phone a few weeks back.he says he still wants the break up. And he doesn’t want to date now

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what did you say when he said that?

coddie
Guest
hey Amor… i wrote to a lot to you a couple of times at the beginning of the year my boyfriend who now is my ex boyfriend has broken up with me again , he broke up with me in February this year because i cheated on him last year and he found out and broke it off with me this year saying he cannot trust me, through following your steps and your guidance i applied the no contact rule, bettered myself and ect..then we started dating again in june this year, he said he was ready for the serious… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Coddie,

lay low for now and talk again after a week when both of you have cooled down.. if it doesn’t work out, start nc.

coddie
Guest
hey Amor… i wrote to a lot to you a couple of times at the beginning of the year my boyfriend who now is my ex boyfriend has broken up with me again , he broke up with me in February this year because i cheated on him last year and he found out and broke it off with me this year saying he cannot trust me, through following your steps and your guidance i applied the no contact rule, bettered myself and ect..then we started dating again in june this year, he said he was ready for the serious… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Coddie,

lay low for now and talk again after a week when both of you have cooled down.. if it doesn’t work out, start nc.

Christel
Guest
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 years. We just broke up bc he says his feelings changed and he fell out of love with me. We was happy 3 days before he ended it. We have 2 kids together. He started working 7 days a week and we only saw each other 4 hours out the day. His sister started working with him and made friends with a girl there and now he’s friends with her too. He said they talk as friends here and there. She has a fiance and said on one of her fb… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Christel
Guest
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 years. We just broke up bc he says his feelings changed and he fell out of love with me. We was happy 3 days before he ended it. We have 2 kids together. He started working 7 days a week and we only saw each other 4 hours out the day. His sister started working with him and made friends with a girl there and now he’s friends with her too. He said they talk as friends here and there. She has a fiance and said on one of her fb… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Jazlyn
Guest
My boyfriend and I just broke up a couple weeks ago and we also have a daughter together. But before we broke up I feel like he stooped loving me long before it happened because he was always acting like some of the reasons you mentioned a girl would act… I always gave him all the attention he needed and tried to be everything for him and he would always spend more time on his computer playing games then he would with me and would compare me to another girl he worked with hlwhonhas a fiance and four kids but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Jazlyn,

check this one firs and decide on what you want to do,

The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Jazlyn
Guest
My boyfriend and I just broke up a couple weeks ago and we also have a daughter together. But before we broke up I feel like he stooped loving me long before it happened because he was always acting like some of the reasons you mentioned a girl would act… I always gave him all the attention he needed and tried to be everything for him and he would always spend more time on his computer playing games then he would with me and would compare me to another girl he worked with hlwhonhas a fiance and four kids but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Jazlyn,

check this one firs and decide on what you want to do,

The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Eugenia
Guest

I think that my ex didn’t feel admired by me and I regret that I didn’t realize it so bad. Why would someone even miss the person they broke up with if they didn’t feel admired? I don’t know what I should do.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

take it as a restart.. let’s say he has moved on and wont miss the old relatioinship.. build a new one, starting with friendship after nc.

Eugenia
Guest

I think that my ex didn’t feel admired by me and I regret that I didn’t realize it so bad. Why would someone even miss the person they broke up with if they didn’t feel admired? I don’t know what I should do.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

take it as a restart.. let’s say he has moved on and wont miss the old relatioinship.. build a new one, starting with friendship after nc.

Tina
Guest
I am thinking of buying the ex boyfriend recovery pro but I am unemployed I will use the money for the car payment to buy it but I think I may be beyond help, . If you think you can help me I’ll get it. It’s that important to me. My ex is 10 yrs younger than me we were together 3 years happy no fights no cheating always laughing communicated very well but our sex life tapered off to only once a month. Then All of the sudden about a month ago he started not wanting me to spend… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tina

For me, you should move on from him.. He’s not the type of guy that you should go back to. If he wants to go back with you, he has to work for it.

Tina
Guest
I am thinking of buying the ex boyfriend recovery pro but I am unemployed I will use the money for the car payment to buy it but I think I may be beyond help, . If you think you can help me I’ll get it. It’s that important to me. My ex is 10 yrs younger than me we were together 3 years happy no fights no cheating always laughing communicated very well but our sex life tapered off to only once a month. Then All of the sudden about a month ago he started not wanting me to spend… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tina

For me, you should move on from him.. He’s not the type of guy that you should go back to. If he wants to go back with you, he has to work for it.

Anna
Guest
My ex and I were together for 3 years, and he broke up with me about two months ago. There were clear signs he was going to do it before hand, I was just too oblivious to see them. We were having some trouble physically and didn’t seem to be on the same page. After he broke up with me I left the country for a trip I had planned a year in advance to Europe for 2 weeks. Once I got back we met up to try to work things out to be friends, which later turned into friends… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anna,

being honest to yourself, I’m sure he’s attracted to you but does he see you as somebody great that is not afraid to lose him and that puts herself first? Someone that’s not going to chase him but he knows, will value him if he puts in the required investment he needs to give to keep you or does he know you’re just there?

Anna
Guest
My ex and I were together for 3 years, and he broke up with me about two months ago. There were clear signs he was going to do it before hand, I was just too oblivious to see them. We were having some trouble physically and didn’t seem to be on the same page. After he broke up with me I left the country for a trip I had planned a year in advance to Europe for 2 weeks. Once I got back we met up to try to work things out to be friends, which later turned into friends… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anna,

being honest to yourself, I’m sure he’s attracted to you but does he see you as somebody great that is not afraid to lose him and that puts herself first? Someone that’s not going to chase him but he knows, will value him if he puts in the required investment he needs to give to keep you or does he know you’re just there?

Tara
Guest
My ex-fiance broke up with me out of the blue 8 weeks ago saying he doesn’t feel he’s “in love” with me anymore and wants out. We have so many tangled finances to sort out which he left for me to figure out and is in contact via text every week to ask how I’m getting on with them. I’m so angry that he had this easy option of just running off and abandoning me to sort the mess out. I also found out he’s been secretly seeing his colleague from work (my snooping showed they checked into a hotel… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tara,

The nc is just leverage, it’s not the solution to the problem. It’s just to help you have space to improve, heal and think. That’s why it’s very important that you still continue the routine you started during nc and to keep improving. By now, you have to start being friendly only. It’s not right to start off saying you know about the other girl. It would be better if you tell it person.

Tara
Guest
My ex-fiance broke up with me out of the blue 8 weeks ago saying he doesn’t feel he’s “in love” with me anymore and wants out. We have so many tangled finances to sort out which he left for me to figure out and is in contact via text every week to ask how I’m getting on with them. I’m so angry that he had this easy option of just running off and abandoning me to sort the mess out. I also found out he’s been secretly seeing his colleague from work (my snooping showed they checked into a hotel… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tara,

The nc is just leverage, it’s not the solution to the problem. It’s just to help you have space to improve, heal and think. That’s why it’s very important that you still continue the routine you started during nc and to keep improving. By now, you have to start being friendly only. It’s not right to start off saying you know about the other girl. It would be better if you tell it person.

Ana
Guest
I have no idea whatsoever of what to do regarding my situation. I have extreme insecurities and I really never treated my ex-boyfriend as he deserved to be treated thanks to them. He was the perfect boyfriend. I didn’t really acknowledge he was the one I’ve always wanted because my insecurities always warned me about not opening too much to him. I always thought of him like someone who would hurt me. A few weeks ago, we got into a fight and I think I kind of made him explode. Since we have always been fighting and such I guess… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ana,

why not try the no contact rule first?

Ana
Guest
I have no idea whatsoever of what to do regarding my situation. I have extreme insecurities and I really never treated my ex-boyfriend as he deserved to be treated thanks to them. He was the perfect boyfriend. I didn’t really acknowledge he was the one I’ve always wanted because my insecurities always warned me about not opening too much to him. I always thought of him like someone who would hurt me. A few weeks ago, we got into a fight and I think I kind of made him explode. Since we have always been fighting and such I guess… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ana,

why not try the no contact rule first?

Yg
Guest
We’re both college students, we’ve been together for three months, he broke up with me because he said that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me and yeah I do agree to that, I was busy with my exams and all that I didn’t bother looking for him. He then told me he thought about the break up for a month and that’s why he’s sure that he doesn’t love me anymore. I know my mistakes and I told him I’m willing to change and be a better partner but he doesn’t want to give me that one… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Yg,

plenty of chances for just 3 months? if he’s determined, then dont contradict his decision.. try doing the no contact rule for 30 days instead and then focus in healing and improving yourself. Even if the reaaon for the break up was you not being there, being there now after he made a decision of not talking to you anymore would just look like you’re really not lisrening to him..

Yg
Guest
We’re both college students, we’ve been together for three months, he broke up with me because he said that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me and yeah I do agree to that, I was busy with my exams and all that I didn’t bother looking for him. He then told me he thought about the break up for a month and that’s why he’s sure that he doesn’t love me anymore. I know my mistakes and I told him I’m willing to change and be a better partner but he doesn’t want to give me that one… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Yg,

plenty of chances for just 3 months? if he’s determined, then dont contradict his decision.. try doing the no contact rule for 30 days instead and then focus in healing and improving yourself. Even if the reaaon for the break up was you not being there, being there now after he made a decision of not talking to you anymore would just look like you’re really not lisrening to him..

B.P
Guest
Hi, I am looking for advice on whether I have a shot at getting my ex back. He broke up with me two weeks ago because of loss of attraction/feelings weren’t the same. Personally I think it’s due to some of my actions during the time we were dating. We were dating for 6 months and it was my first relationship. I realized some things about myself that I need to change (anxiety/depression/insecurities) I know that I am changing those things for me though, not for him. And I took action on bettering myself a few days after he broke… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI BP,

that’s actually part of the no contact rule. You should intiate to text him after 30 days.. but what’s more important is that you really change for the better in the remaining days.

B.P
Guest
Hi, I am looking for advice on whether I have a shot at getting my ex back. He broke up with me two weeks ago because of loss of attraction/feelings weren’t the same. Personally I think it’s due to some of my actions during the time we were dating. We were dating for 6 months and it was my first relationship. I realized some things about myself that I need to change (anxiety/depression/insecurities) I know that I am changing those things for me though, not for him. And I took action on bettering myself a few days after he broke… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI BP,

that’s actually part of the no contact rule. You should intiate to text him after 30 days.. but what’s more important is that you really change for the better in the remaining days.

Alexandra David
Guest
I think my chances to get back my ex are a lot below 0%….after one week of NC and living together he told me to move out of the house asap and that he can’t help me renew my visa (i’m living in his country, Israel, and I came here on his name so only he can help me with living here and visa) because he doesn’t want to lie the autorities that we’re still a couple. Also he told me he feels good about the breaking up and he doesn’t love me anymore… I’m devastated, I’m trying to be… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s ok to talk about important things.. what you need to avoid during nc is those heavy relationship talks.. and if he initiates it, don’t reply negatively. YOu need to stay calm.

Alexandra David
Guest
I think my chances to get back my ex are a lot below 0%….after one week of NC and living together he told me to move out of the house asap and that he can’t help me renew my visa (i’m living in his country, Israel, and I came here on his name so only he can help me with living here and visa) because he doesn’t want to lie the autorities that we’re still a couple. Also he told me he feels good about the breaking up and he doesn’t love me anymore… I’m devastated, I’m trying to be… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s ok to talk about important things.. what you need to avoid during nc is those heavy relationship talks.. and if he initiates it, don’t reply negatively. YOu need to stay calm.

Ana
Guest
Hello Chris, this is the first time I learned about uou and I’m very impressed with your work! I’d like to hear your thoughts on my situation. After 2 and a half years of relationship (1 year living together), yesterday my boyfriend ended everything because he felt out of love. I couldn’t include him in any categories above, but I have a feeling I know what happened. When I moved in to his house, I ended up moving inton his life and leaving mine out the door. I molded myself to somehow become a female version of him. I thought… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Ana,

are you in nc now and do you still live together?

Ana
Guest
Hello Chris, this is the first time I learned about uou and I’m very impressed with your work! I’d like to hear your thoughts on my situation. After 2 and a half years of relationship (1 year living together), yesterday my boyfriend ended everything because he felt out of love. I couldn’t include him in any categories above, but I have a feeling I know what happened. When I moved in to his house, I ended up moving inton his life and leaving mine out the door. I molded myself to somehow become a female version of him. I thought… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Ana,

are you in nc now and do you still live together?

Jay
Guest
Hi Chris, I just listened to your podcast (I love that you have these in addition to the blogs)! I have a question about your third reason he “falls out of love”: FIGHTING. My ex and I recently broke up because he said we were fighting too much. But we were fighting because I wanted him to understand he was being selfish. The reasons are immature, like he would plan a guys night and cut our romantic getaway short. I try to let him know how that makes me feel but he says I suffocate him. We have tons of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,
is he always like that? Do you feel like you’re not his priority over others?

Jay
Guest

Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it’s like he forgets. That’s why I’m confused. It seems like he is easily influenced by what his peers do though (most of his friends have significant others). We have a great time and are compatible. Funny thing is when we broke up he said we have fundamental differences (think differently) when we fight. I feel like he is just clouded in his judgement because he’s tired of fighting. But it’s not necessarily fundamental (unless maturity is fundamental)… Am I being stubborn?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hmmm.. I asked that because you asked if your relationship would change if he matures, so, I thought he’s always like that. But if you say, you’re always fighting, maybe that’s really the real reason. And you also said, you were always trying to say to him that he is being selfish because of his actions. So, in guy terms, that’s nagging. If he fell out of love because of the constant fights, that means after nc, you should avoid it all costs.. Be calm and listen. But also, it’s better to work on yourself on how you handle situations… Read more »
Jay
Guest
Hi Chris, I just listened to your podcast (I love that you have these in addition to the blogs)! I have a question about your third reason he “falls out of love”: FIGHTING. My ex and I recently broke up because he said we were fighting too much. But we were fighting because I wanted him to understand he was being selfish. The reasons are immature, like he would plan a guys night and cut our romantic getaway short. I try to let him know how that makes me feel but he says I suffocate him. We have tons of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,
is he always like that? Do you feel like you’re not his priority over others?

Jay
Guest

Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it’s like he forgets. That’s why I’m confused. It seems like he is easily influenced by what his peers do though (most of his friends have significant others). We have a great time and are compatible. Funny thing is when we broke up he said we have fundamental differences (think differently) when we fight. I feel like he is just clouded in his judgement because he’s tired of fighting. But it’s not necessarily fundamental (unless maturity is fundamental)… Am I being stubborn?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hmmm.. I asked that because you asked if your relationship would change if he matures, so, I thought he’s always like that. But if you say, you’re always fighting, maybe that’s really the real reason. And you also said, you were always trying to say to him that he is being selfish because of his actions. So, in guy terms, that’s nagging. If he fell out of love because of the constant fights, that means after nc, you should avoid it all costs.. Be calm and listen. But also, it’s better to work on yourself on how you handle situations… Read more »
Sabrina
Guest
Hello, I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He left me at 6 months pregnant saying he fell out of love. Our pregnancy was planned and we were happy… so it seemed. He stated the child wasnt his and accused me of cheating, which I never did. We did have a split for 6 months and I slept with someone else. The times don’t match to being pregnant though. I might have stop showing admiration or seemed high maintenence but I have to work full time, handle being pregnant, and take care of the house when… Read more »
Sabrina
Guest
Hello, I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He left me at 6 months pregnant saying he fell out of love. Our pregnancy was planned and we were happy… so it seemed. He stated the child wasnt his and accused me of cheating, which I never did. We did have a split for 6 months and I slept with someone else. The times don’t match to being pregnant though. I might have stop showing admiration or seemed high maintenence but I have to work full time, handle being pregnant, and take care of the house when… Read more »
My Honey
Guest
Im in my most frustrating period of my life now. I have a bf but, he said he’s not sure if he still loves me or is he just convincing hiself to stay(coz of long term relationship) and he feels that there’s something missing on him. We are now 4years since last october. But we had a problem before, we broke up last year coz he’s fed up with me(we’re on our 3-1/2yrs that time). Then he came back and continued our relationship early this year because he found out that i was falling inlove with another guy and cant… Read more »
My Honey
Guest
Im in my most frustrating period of my life now. I have a bf but, he said he’s not sure if he still loves me or is he just convincing hiself to stay(coz of long term relationship) and he feels that there’s something missing on him. We are now 4years since last october. But we had a problem before, we broke up last year coz he’s fed up with me(we’re on our 3-1/2yrs that time). Then he came back and continued our relationship early this year because he found out that i was falling inlove with another guy and cant… Read more »
Trish
Guest
Hi Chris, My boyfriend of over 6 years broke the news to me the 10th OCT that he no longer felt the same way about me… we were together since we were 16yrs old.. This came to me as a HUGE SHOCK… I was utterly heartbroken… I did beg and he gave us another week to try work things out.. At the end of this week i felt him pull away and not want to talk to me or say he loved me so the decision was made to break up. he said he needed time, he was confused, he… Read more »
Trish
Guest
Hi Chris, My boyfriend of over 6 years broke the news to me the 10th OCT that he no longer felt the same way about me… we were together since we were 16yrs old.. This came to me as a HUGE SHOCK… I was utterly heartbroken… I did beg and he gave us another week to try work things out.. At the end of this week i felt him pull away and not want to talk to me or say he loved me so the decision was made to break up. he said he needed time, he was confused, he… Read more »
Meredith
Guest
I love these lesser known articles you post that no one seems to comment on 🙁 to me they’ve helped a lot. Now I’m going to be conceited here and I say that I don’t believe my ex broke up with me for any of these reasons because we had a good relationship. We fulfilled each other’s needs, had a good sex life,definitely wasn’t a lack of admiration or love, no cheating, and I wouldn’t call myself clingy or high maintenance, I’m pretty laid back really. I’d constantly be doing things for him that he asked and doing all the… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Guest

ME TOO!

I always like them the best too.

Ppl just like the big commenting type of stuff like NC and how to use text messages.

Could you expand on that common reason theory that you gave. It sounds interesting to me.

Meredith
Guest
I love these lesser known articles you post that no one seems to comment on 🙁 to me they’ve helped a lot. Now I’m going to be conceited here and I say that I don’t believe my ex broke up with me for any of these reasons because we had a good relationship. We fulfilled each other’s needs, had a good sex life,definitely wasn’t a lack of admiration or love, no cheating, and I wouldn’t call myself clingy or high maintenance, I’m pretty laid back really. I’d constantly be doing things for him that he asked and doing all the… Read more »
Chris Seiter
Guest

ME TOO!

I always like them the best too.

Ppl just like the big commenting type of stuff like NC and how to use text messages.

Could you expand on that common reason theory that you gave. It sounds interesting to me.

Lissy
Guest
So I’ve commented on a couple different articles, because reading your articles helps me clear my head. But you talk about someone who thinks the relationship should be just like the honeymoon phase… and how if they don’t have a lot of relationship experience this is what the guy will think. I can totally see that with my ex, in addition I might have been a little clingy, but I guess my question then is, how can I get him back if he thinks it should be a honey moon phase all the time, or is that something he will… Read more »
Lissy
Guest
So I’ve commented on a couple different articles, because reading your articles helps me clear my head. But you talk about someone who thinks the relationship should be just like the honeymoon phase… and how if they don’t have a lot of relationship experience this is what the guy will think. I can totally see that with my ex, in addition I might have been a little clingy, but I guess my question then is, how can I get him back if he thinks it should be a honey moon phase all the time, or is that something he will… Read more »
Victoria
Guest
Hi Chris, I don’t know if you will reply to my comment or not but I recently broke up with my boyfriend (he is 27 and I am 23) on Friday. Everything was going so so great. He told me he saw a future together, he told me that I was the one, and he adored me. I adored him as well. We were so healthy with our communication and allowing for each other to have our own lives but also making sure that we had good quality relationship time. We hit the six month mark and about a few… Read more »
Victoria
Guest
Hi Chris, I don’t know if you will reply to my comment or not but I recently broke up with my boyfriend (he is 27 and I am 23) on Friday. Everything was going so so great. He told me he saw a future together, he told me that I was the one, and he adored me. I adored him as well. We were so healthy with our communication and allowing for each other to have our own lives but also making sure that we had good quality relationship time. We hit the six month mark and about a few… Read more »
Lilli
Guest
HI Chris!! Your site its awesome, it has all kinds of information. I was in relationship for 5 years and the last year was long distance (new job and wedding plan), everybody told me that LDR never work (im not agree, it depends on the commitment and love). He came for my birthday, we had a fight that day about me being possesive with his time while he was in the city and that i wasn’t in the right place when he “needed me”?, so he broke up with me (2m ago), next day i begged him for an opportunity,… Read more »
Lilli
Guest
HI Chris!! Your site its awesome, it has all kinds of information. I was in relationship for 5 years and the last year was long distance (new job and wedding plan), everybody told me that LDR never work (im not agree, it depends on the commitment and love). He came for my birthday, we had a fight that day about me being possesive with his time while he was in the city and that i wasn’t in the right place when he “needed me”?, so he broke up with me (2m ago), next day i begged him for an opportunity,… Read more »
L
Guest
i realize now from reading this that my choice in partners (a man 4 years younger who had little relationship experience) set me up for this heartbreak I am experiencing right now when he told me he “no longer is in love” with me. I believe he is stuck thinking the honeymoon phase of crazy sex and mutual obsession would last forever. It’s been four days since he broke up with me, and I have been mostly NC (and full NC the last two days). Is there anything I can do to get him back at this point ? We… Read more »