Is My Ex Boyfriend Over Me Already?

It is not easy to see the big picture when you get dumped by your ex boyfriend.

It can cause you to behave erratically and irrationally.

Losing your boyfriend is never something you can plan or prepare for.  And when it happens, you fall into these web of emotions, eventually culminating in the singular question:

Is my ex boyfriend truly over me?

It is a painful question to entertain.  When your ex drops you out of his life, all you can think of is “why me”?

What have you done to deserve to be treated this way by the guy you have done so much for?

You wonder to yourself,

“could my ex boyfriend really be over me already?”

Is there some way to get him back?

It seems way too soon for him to have just shoved you aside in his mind.

How could your boyfriend be so cruel?

These are the thoughts that are bouncing around in your mind.

It seemed like everything was going smoothly up until you got the news that he wanted out.  Perhaps the two of you struggled in the relationship before.

It’s not unusual for couples to have falling outs.

Indeed, if I could count how frequently I have heard about couples calling it quits, well, let’s just say it happens a lot.

Maybe that is not a bad thing, right?

Two people meet, date, see each other, then things go awry somewhere down the road causing the couple to split up.  In away, it is part of the selection process.

First romances hardly every work out.

But let’s say in your situation, this falling out is worse than the others.

It is seldom a mutual decision. Either your boyfriend broke up with you or you finally said, “no more” and ended it with him.

But some time has passed.

The immediate aftermath is over. All of the angry and confusing feelings may have subsided somewhat.

So you are left wondering if your ex boyfriend still cares about you.

You care.

That you know for sure.

You think about him every night in bed.

For that matter, he is constantly in your mind.

You still have feelings for him.

But does he, you wonder?  Y

ou think to yourself that he must still have some feelings.

After all, the two of you were a pretty hot item.

I am Struggling to Cope – Why Isn’t My Ex Boyfriend?

But the fairy tale romance you and your ex boyfriend enjoyed came crashing down and now these confusing feelings are settling in.

It seems incomprehensible to you that you can be drowning in sorrow, yet your ex bf seems to be completely unaffected.

Even if he was the one that instigated breaking if off, a part of you still thinks he must have some feelings left for you.

And to make matters worse, you can’t even be sure how to process all the confusing notions running through your mind since your boyfriend cashed you out.

You feel discarded by your boyfriend when he let’s you go.  Maybe there wee signs that your boyfriend was going to drop you, but there is hardly anything that can prepare you when he hits you with it like a ton of bricks.

If your boyfriend left you with little or no notice, you will ultimately be left standing wondering a great many things about what had happened.

Your mind will be like a jungle of thoughts and ideas.  Yet, you find yourself always coming back to “is he thinking of me”.   It’s tough when your ex boyfriend’s real feelings are a mystery to you.

So what do you do if you are haunted by the question of whether your ex still cares about you, thinks about you, and is really over you?

I get this question a lot from women all over.

They want to know if their Ex is struggling in their own way about the breakup.   My clients want to feel that the whole relationship with their ex bf was worth their emotional investment.

So are you wondering if your ex boyfriend is still invested in you?

I get questions and stories of heartache everyday from women who are struggling with these very same heartfelt questions.   No knowing if their ex has even a kind thought for them, tears them up inside.

I can’t believe that my ex isn’t out there somewhere, this very minute, agonizing over not being with me. What should I do?”

“He left me without warning, but It can’t be all over because my boyfriend isn’t one to give up on me. “

“John and I split up a few weeks back.  I still care and practically obsess about us getting back. I really hope he thinks the same way. I fantasize about him and cry a lot.  It helps me cope, I think.  Can it be possible that guys have as hard a time getting past their sorrows as us ladies?

What Is Really Happening in the Mind of Your Ex Boyfriend?

If truth be told, how men and women act during and following a breakup is varied depending on their personality, attachment styles, the length of their relationship, and a host of other factors.

But there are some commonalities.  They just play out at different times.

Let me explain.

Your ex boyfriend is probably not completely in touch with what he is experiencing since the two of you parted ways. Few people really are.  It is not like he is out there whooping it up in those early days

Well, maybe there are some guys out there that behave that way from the get go.  You learn later from friends that he is partying it all up and seems to be taking joy in his new single status.  Of course, if this is the case, it clearly will rub you the wrong way.

But here is another truth.  Guys that do this are usually living in an emotional pretend world.

Your ex is probably embracing a Big Lie.  And that lie is being repeated with every immature action he may undertake after the breakup.

If the two of your were generally a decent couple for a good period of time, then that reality is difficult to overcome in your ex boyfriend’s psyche.  So if your boyfriend is reportedly “doing just fine” or seems to be “really happy”, trust me, it is in part an illusion.

If your ex has a heart, he cares.  He just might not yet understand how much he cares.

It is said they after a guy and girl break things off, the woman is usually immediately crushed by the end of the romance.  Feelings of rejection and resentment can take hold, though usually, it is the tears of unrequited love that dominates her mood.

But later, as time marches by, the girl does a better job of recovering and putting things in perspective, learning lessons from the failed romance and setting aside many of the painful memories.

Whereas boyfriends who are experiencing a breakup, early on will sort of live in their own fantasy world.  They will go out and play and act up. Thoughts of their ex girlfriend are pushed back to the outer recesses of their brain.

They will convince themselves that the breakup with you was the best thing that ever happened.  As your ex puts more stock on celebrating their freedom, they will just live it up even more.  Maybe a lot.

This is how they will behave, at least until the reality of their complicated feelings comes crashing down around them.

You may hear stories of your ex out there carousing and drinking and partying and dating and schmoozing and just being a real jerk about things that he has purportedly said about you.

But fate has a way of balancing the romance equation.

While your ex boyfriend may act like he does not have a care in the world and is fully and completely over you, there is nothing further from the truth.

In most cases, this behavior is just made up drama as he pretends not to care about you.  Little by little, all of his bravado and false sense of knowing what is best for him comes crashing down.

Does your Ex Boyfriend Need a Serious Reality Check?

The timeline is different for all guys.

I think of it as the boyfriend reality check.

But in time, he will be transformed (by varying degrees) into a sniffling, moody, somewhat depressed former lover. He will start feeling like he is missing out on all the things that made him really feel special.  He will realize that he previously took you for granted.

The realization of that will hurt and while you are entering into that phase of getting past what he did to you, he will be passing you by (on an emotional level), headed in the opposite direction.

Yes, such are the vagaries of how men and women are different.

In the beginning, your ex will be thinking of himself.

He will likely feel a certain degree of relief that he has his freedom back. He will be telling himself lots of little lies as he passes through the post splitting up phase.

These behaviors usually play out for a few days or even weeks.  But if your guy is like most guys, he will eventually realize he has not fully come to terms with what has happened.

What Do the Break Up Gods Say About Your Boyfriend Needing and Wanting You?

Fate speaks the truth in the topsy turvy world of breakups.

The problem is no one can see the future.  Well, maybe Yoda can, but I haven’t seen him around lately.

The  breakup Gods are the ones that settle the score for all couples.

They will sneak right up to your ex and shake him at his core.  The breakup Gods are not about evening the score.  They are simply in the business of delivering to us certain truths about our feelings.

It will usually happen to your ex boyfriend when he least expects, because after all, most guys are not really in touch with their true feelings after being separated from their girlfriend.  They live in a sort of pretend world.  They act like they are not in pain.  They pretend that you never really gave them fulfilling moments.  Your boyfriend will tell himself all the pretty little lies he can muster up and will do this over and over again.

But eventually, your boyfriend’s facade will melt away.

Unless your guy is a complete, self absorbed ass, his thoughts will turn to you.

As to how much he really needs you back in his life….well that is impossible to predict.  There are just way too many variables.

Some guys realize the stupidity of breaking up with you, swallow their pride, and then makes some kind of gesture. Other guys arrive at that emotional place where they begin to doubt if it was really such a good idea to end things with you.  They become amenable to finding a way back in.

Then of course we have the stubborn boyfriends who oppose doing anything that is in their best interests.  While they are not hopeless, they certainly make the whole affair of recovering from a breakup a much more difficult ordeal.

Finally, there are some guys who just simply don’t want back into the relationship. They either broke up with you or you ended it with them and for any number of reasons, they have come to terms with what is best for them (and you).

So what is the simple answer to how you can get your ex bf to notice you and act like he cares deeply for you?  Is that even possible if he is not feeling it inside?   How do you even get him to that place where he is in touch with his feelings?  The short answer is to give him space as “time” is your ally.  But there is more to it.

I realize what you want most is for your ex to sweep you off your feet and tell you how much you mean to him.

That is truly want you want to hear and experience.

Is it even possible? Yes, of course it is.

Is it likely?

Nothing in the sphere of ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends can be characterized as probable or likely.  But I have some ideas that might just help you, help him get to that moment when you both realize that the parting was too swift….that you both deserve a do over.

How Do You Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Act Like He Has a Heart?

You know, that is really what we are talking about here.  What can you do to awaken those feelings that “you know” are hidden up inside your ex?

Every dag I get a parade of women asking for help on this topic.

Chris, what can you do if your ex boyfriend just has gone stone cold about everything that reminds him of our relationship?”

“My ex dropped me out of his life, just like I was a nobody.  He behaves like he never knew me. It kills me that he treats me like this. Does this mean I have no chance?   I am desperate for some tips on how I can turn my ex bf back into a loving, caring person again.”

“I think my ex has wiped me out of his mind completely.  If there is anything left, even a memory of us, he seems determined to let it waste away.  I am really sick of hoping he has even one kind thought about me.”

Understand that your Ex Boyfriend is Probably Experiencing the Playboy Phenomenon

These troubled women are all experiencing a common behavior from men, following the breakup.

I call it the “Playboy Phenomenon”.

If your man is the the one that precipitated the split, then shortly afterwords he will likely succumb to the urge of acting like a Playboy.

In his mind (because most guys cherish their freedom) he is FREE.  He may have these visions of hanging with his buddies and partying it up. So don’t be looking for any cues or clues from your former boyfriend that even a little part of his heart bleeds for you.

Remember, your ex is a guy.  He thinks like a guy. He is not living inside your mind or processing things like you do.

Now of course, this is not the case for all men.

Some guys actually act like grownups.  They may have a sensitive, empathetic side.  Maybe the breaking up with you was rough on him.  And knowing that you will likely be keeping tabs on him, he will be respectful and moderate his behaviors such that they are not misconstrued.  These are the nice, conscientious guys.  They are graced with a good dose of empathy.

I mean after all, when you have two people who were in love, but who have now gone their separate ways, well….you have a very sorrowful drama playing out.  It should be rough on everyone’s feelings.  So sure, there are some men out there that process their experiences in life in the same way you do. If you are matched up with a guy like that, then I like your chances.

But, many guys don’t have that kind of makeup, at least not yet.  Maybe they are young and just have not yet experienced the emotional cycle of a breakup, so they have no clue how to act or what to expect or even how to feel.

Some guys are in a phase of their life where they are just really playboys and want the play the field and hang out and flirt and drink and play some more. You get the picture.

Then there are the mean VINDICTIVE ones.

Yep, they are out there.  I sure hope you were not seeing one of those kind of boyfriends.

No matter what you say or do or think, these guys are just not going to have much room upstairs in their mind for feelings like “Oh, she was so pretty” or “I miss the smell of her when we make love” or “I wish I could see that little curl of my ex girlfriend’s smile”.

At least they don’t have those feelings in the forefront of their mind.  Maybe there is some goodness in these kind of guys and their vindictive behavior is a product of them simply overreacting.  If not and their undesirable behavior becomes a pattern, then you are better off without them in your life.

If we are talking about a narcissistic, pig headed, mean, angry, and resentful ex bf, then you are better off just imagining he doesn’t even exist.  He won’t be thinking of sweet things to say to you, unless he wants something.  That is not his make up. Maybe you broke up with your ex bf and his ego just couldn’t handle it.

This is where practicing the No Contact Rule will do you much good.   Just remember, you should have zero tolerance for anyone that mistreats you. There are many good catches out there.  Take the lessons learned from the failed relationship and trust you will land on your feet.

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What Does Your Relationship Recovery Plan Look Like Going Forward?

My advice is not aimed at trying to resurrect good feelings from the vindictive ones.  They are in a class of their own and you are better off not chasing that failed romance.  Let’s focus on those ex boyfriends that showed at least a minimum standard of class.

So the question on the table is how do you awaken the spirit of love you believe still resides within your ex?  How do you jog his memories of the really beautiful moments you both shared together?  Because if you do, it will help a lot.

So I have an interesting, somewhat fun filled plan that might just raise your chances.

Maybe that is all the two of you need.  Just a little spark to resurrect the loving feelings that have not escaped either of you.  I figure you wouldn’t have come here to my website unless you were looking for some ideas.  You are probably looking to land on some actionable tips.

Maybe you need some detailed strategies on how to recover your ex bf.  Well, you came to the right place.  I have that and a lot more.  But there is another thing you came here for.

You might not even know it.

You need a lift me up.

You have spent far too much time thinking about what your ex boyfriend might be thinking.  That is a lot twisting and turning of emotions.

You could benefit from a mood lifter.  A little fun.

So here you go.  Here is my fun filled way of trying to re-direct you down the right path.  Are you ready?

Here are the 5 steps to stirring up your ex boyfriend’s interest in you!

1.Take Yourself on a Date. You need a mood elevator and what better way to do that than to treat yourself to something really fun, and really special.  If you want to double date, then take yourself out twice.  I know.  It sounds kinda crazy, but a while back I did a Podcast and spoke to this very wise woman who said one way to rebuild yourself is to treat yourself the way you would want your boyfriend to treat you.  Involve yourself with something that you really would like to do.  For now on, you are your own best friend.  Your ex is bound to notice the change in your attitude and temperament.  He will hear about. He might see you in person briefly.  Your social media pics will reflect the new you.

2. Start a Rumor that your have a Mystery Lover.  I know.  I know.  It sounds so adolescent to participating in such a ruse.  But consider it anyway.  What we are talking about here is you constructing an imaginary lover’s triangle.  So just put a little thread out there that you have received this lovely bouquet of roses.  Take a pic and post it on Facebook, inquiring “who the heck sent this to me!”  Since you have been dating yourself, you might as well give yourself some roses.  It will be perfect. Your ex boyfriend is bound to notice and if he doesn’t, well, you have friends and other tactics you can turn to that will help him hear about it.  A little jealousy, if measured out in the right quantity, can go a long ways!

3. Go on an Adventure to a Far Away Place.  Do you see how all these things connect.  You are dating yourself.  You give yourself some flowers.  And now the world will soon learn that you are off on this adventure.  Make sure you take a lot of pics and post them all.  Send a little, innocent text (embedded with a picture) of you doing something fun that the two of you use to do when your were dating.  The message should sound innocent and slightly unintelligible (“So much white sand”). Make it out like it went out as a broadcast email to several people and your ex accidentally go it.  You are planting seeds in your ex boyfriend’s subconscious.  Give it time.  I bet it will take root.

4. Eat a HUGE piece of Pie.  This one is entirely for you. I want you to love yourself more than you have ever love another.  You deserve the moment.

5. Practice Patience and Being Active.  Most of my clients never finish the No Contact Period.  They can’t resist reaching out to there ex boyfriends. But often when they do so, it is too soon.  They have not planted enough seeds. They have not created enough attraction.  They have not sufficiently healed.  So practice being happy with being your best friend and while you are at it do these things. Walk 2 miles.  Jog on mile.  Play tennis. Go see a movie. Read a book. Sign up for a yoga class (or karate).  Essentially, I want you to engage in life and all the things you enjoy doing and a bunch of things you have never done.  Do them all.  Create unforgettable moments for yourself.  So many good things come from these activities. Health.  Spiritual wealth.  Release of mood elevating hormones.

So is that rascal you call your boyfriend, really and truly over you?

Naah, no way I say!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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166 Comments on "Is My Ex Boyfriend Over Me Already?"

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Lara
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, i’m still in no contact and i haven’t talked to or heard from him since we broke up. However, i’m guilty of keeping an eye on his social media and that’s how i found out that he’s been following a ton go hot girls on instagram and liking their pics, and recently he posted a photo in which some girl commented that she had his hoodie, and another one commented as well saying she missed him. That really hurt me and made me furious at the same time – we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lara,

Probably because he knows you’re going to see it.. If you’ve been silent, it’s a way to see if you’re checking his account, if you did, you probably would contact him to react

Lara
Guest
My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, i’m still in no contact and i haven’t talked to or heard from him since we broke up. However, i’m guilty of keeping an eye on his social media and that’s how i found out that he’s been following a ton go hot girls on instagram and liking their pics, and recently he posted a photo in which some girl commented that she had his hoodie, and another one commented as well saying she missed him. That really hurt me and made me furious at the same time – we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lara,

Probably because he knows you’re going to see it.. If you’ve been silent, it’s a way to see if you’re checking his account, if you did, you probably would contact him to react

Leone
Guest

After short period of time,we broke up last year. I did the NC but nothing happened.After breakup we had been together few times,we never slept together just kissing and once make out. Each time he never call or text me. We just don’t communicate. And I feel like he doesn’t care. It’s very sad. Can you please tell me or suggest what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

well, it’s not a guarantee that it will work but what did you mean that it doesnt work? how many times have you done it?

Leone
Guest

After short period of time,we broke up last year. I did the NC but nothing happened.After breakup we had been together few times,we never slept together just kissing and once make out. Each time he never call or text me. We just don’t communicate. And I feel like he doesn’t care. It’s very sad. Can you please tell me or suggest what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

well, it’s not a guarantee that it will work but what did you mean that it doesnt work? how many times have you done it?

Luiana
Guest

After short period of time,we broke up last year. I did the NC but nothing happened.After breakup we had been together few times,we never slept together just kissing and once make out. Each time he never call or text me. We just don’t communicate. And I feel like he doesn’t care. It’s very sad. Can you please tell me or suggest what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

well, it’s not a guarantee that it will work but what did you mean that it doesnt work? how many times have you done it?

Luiana
Guest

After short period of time,we broke up last year. I did the NC but nothing happened.After breakup we had been together few times,we never slept together just kissing and once make out. Each time he never call or text me. We just don’t communicate. And I feel like he doesn’t care. It’s very sad. Can you please tell me or suggest what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

well, it’s not a guarantee that it will work but what did you mean that it doesnt work? how many times have you done it?

Maya
Guest
Hi! I just found and read this article and it is exactly what Ive been looking for. Everything it talks about perfectly describes what I’ve been going through and feeling. My boyfriend and I dated for over a year and were always very happy together. We were truly each others best friends. It got to a point where I couldn’t think of anything that could ever break us up. However it came up that I had to move a few hours away. Before the move he kept saying how much he was going to miss me and that we were… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s been 9 months.. he probably have moved on by now.. and maybe he sensed the awkwardness when you bumped into each other, so he just kept walking on after saying him.. if you bump into each other again, be friendly and talk.. so, that it’s not awkward to start texting again after that.

Maya
Guest

Okay thank you! I know your probably right about him moving on…9 months is a long time. so it he has moved on what now?…Is there any way to get a boyfriend who’s moved on to want to give you a second chance? I really do love him and while we were together he loved me too. If he has moved on does that mean my efforts with posting a lot of social media and everything aren’t having any effect on him? Is there nothing I can do to save this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s still better to be active in posting because that’s proof that you’re improving, have your own life and not chasing.. take it as a restart.. rebuild rapport as if he is stranger that you like.. your edge now is that, you know him already.. you know what his interests are.

Maya
Guest
Hi amor! you’ve been so helpful but now i really don’t know what to do. Ive been home in the same place as my ex for over 2 months now and I haven’t heard anything from him. Ive really been trying to post a lot and act like an ungettable girl. I really haven’t done anything through social media that would making him think I’m chasing him or anything. Yet still I’ve heard nothing from him and its getting to the point where Im running out of time. In about a month and a half ill have to move away… Read more »
Maya
Guest
Hi! I just found and read this article and it is exactly what Ive been looking for. Everything it talks about perfectly describes what I’ve been going through and feeling. My boyfriend and I dated for over a year and were always very happy together. We were truly each others best friends. It got to a point where I couldn’t think of anything that could ever break us up. However it came up that I had to move a few hours away. Before the move he kept saying how much he was going to miss me and that we were… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s been 9 months.. he probably have moved on by now.. and maybe he sensed the awkwardness when you bumped into each other, so he just kept walking on after saying him.. if you bump into each other again, be friendly and talk.. so, that it’s not awkward to start texting again after that.

Maya
Guest

Okay thank you! I know your probably right about him moving on…9 months is a long time. so it he has moved on what now?…Is there any way to get a boyfriend who’s moved on to want to give you a second chance? I really do love him and while we were together he loved me too. If he has moved on does that mean my efforts with posting a lot of social media and everything aren’t having any effect on him? Is there nothing I can do to save this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it’s still better to be active in posting because that’s proof that you’re improving, have your own life and not chasing.. take it as a restart.. rebuild rapport as if he is stranger that you like.. your edge now is that, you know him already.. you know what his interests are.

Maya
Guest
Hi amor! you’ve been so helpful but now i really don’t know what to do. Ive been home in the same place as my ex for over 2 months now and I haven’t heard anything from him. Ive really been trying to post a lot and act like an ungettable girl. I really haven’t done anything through social media that would making him think I’m chasing him or anything. Yet still I’ve heard nothing from him and its getting to the point where Im running out of time. In about a month and a half ill have to move away… Read more »
Tammy
Guest
Hi Amor, I was with my boyfriend for 9 years until 12/15/2016. He broke up with me and said it was because I didn’t trust him. He gave me reasons to feel this way. I did the no contact rule even though it hurt me. For many weeks he told me he wanted me back and he missed me. I advised I may consider taking him back if he can make a commitment to move in. I also told him if he hooked up with anyone else to let me know but if he does I wont take him back.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tammy,

I think you need to do a 45 day nc because you’re on and off with him.

Tammy
Guest
Hi Amor, I was with my boyfriend for 9 years until 12/15/2016. He broke up with me and said it was because I didn’t trust him. He gave me reasons to feel this way. I did the no contact rule even though it hurt me. For many weeks he told me he wanted me back and he missed me. I advised I may consider taking him back if he can make a commitment to move in. I also told him if he hooked up with anyone else to let me know but if he does I wont take him back.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tammy,

I think you need to do a 45 day nc because you’re on and off with him.

SO
Guest
My ex and I were together for 8 years. I broke up with him because I wanted to find myself and be alone for a while. We broke up last year. He got together with another girl (who’s really nice and sweet) and he’s been with her for over a year. He contacted me at the start of our break up to collect his stuff and get closure. He hasnt spoken to me since then. He has not initiated contact and he seems to be happy with the new girl and introduced her to his family after ages. Should I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yes, you should move on..

SO
Guest
My ex and I were together for 8 years. I broke up with him because I wanted to find myself and be alone for a while. We broke up last year. He got together with another girl (who’s really nice and sweet) and he’s been with her for over a year. He contacted me at the start of our break up to collect his stuff and get closure. He hasnt spoken to me since then. He has not initiated contact and he seems to be happy with the new girl and introduced her to his family after ages. Should I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yes, you should move on..

LK
Guest
Hi Amor, I followed the nc rule except I need to inform him the time I would arrive and collect my stuff at his place and he didn’t try to hold me back and till now, I haven’t been texting or calling him. I broke up with my ex boyfriend for nearly 2 months, he told our mutual frd that he has moved on already, I am not as needy anymore, but I still want to get him back. I am the one who initiated because of some non sense stuff and he made the decision at the end. However,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

no contact is not about being silent, and just waiting. You have to use it for yourself to heal and improve.. Take it as if he has moved on and then slowly rebuild rapport after nc.

LK
Guest
Hi Amor, I followed the nc rule except I need to inform him the time I would arrive and collect my stuff at his place and he didn’t try to hold me back and till now, I haven’t been texting or calling him. I broke up with my ex boyfriend for nearly 2 months, he told our mutual frd that he has moved on already, I am not as needy anymore, but I still want to get him back. I am the one who initiated because of some non sense stuff and he made the decision at the end. However,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

no contact is not about being silent, and just waiting. You have to use it for yourself to heal and improve.. Take it as if he has moved on and then slowly rebuild rapport after nc.

Ronnie
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. He broke up with me after 3 yerars. I started NC instantly. He did not contact me either. Then we began texting but apparantly he was busy and started not to reply. I got annoyed and came to a point where I just wanted to end it once in for all, so I drove by his house to pick up my things and yell at him (which I had not done at all before. It was a very clean break up). He was clearly surprised to see… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

fighting and being emotional when you’re trying to build rapport is wrong. Those are the opposite of building rapport. Either you restart nc or move on..

Ronnie
Guest
My boyfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. He broke up with me after 3 yerars. I started NC instantly. He did not contact me either. Then we began texting but apparantly he was busy and started not to reply. I got annoyed and came to a point where I just wanted to end it once in for all, so I drove by his house to pick up my things and yell at him (which I had not done at all before. It was a very clean break up). He was clearly surprised to see… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

fighting and being emotional when you’re trying to build rapport is wrong. Those are the opposite of building rapport. Either you restart nc or move on..

Blue
Guest
I was about to move one completely and now my boyfriend contacted me back. So, my boyfriend of 5 years (let’s call him R.) called off our date almost 5 months ago. Before it happened we were in a LDR. We never argued and his behavior changed only after he lost his job. He started avoiding contact with me. Then, when we met, he told me about his situation and asked if we could start meeting only every other weekend instead of every weekend like before. I saw he experienced a real financial hardship; he even didn’t have enough food… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

he just probably got curious at that time..

Blue
Guest
I was about to move one completely and now my boyfriend contacted me back. So, my boyfriend of 5 years (let’s call him R.) called off our date almost 5 months ago. Before it happened we were in a LDR. We never argued and his behavior changed only after he lost his job. He started avoiding contact with me. Then, when we met, he told me about his situation and asked if we could start meeting only every other weekend instead of every weekend like before. I saw he experienced a real financial hardship; he even didn’t have enough food… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

he just probably got curious at that time..

Giselle
Guest
Hi, I cheated on my ex a month ago. This is an ex that loved me so much and wanted to marry me so badly to the point that he would propose everyday and try to convince me to finally marry him. When he found out, he didn’t say “goodbye”, instead he said “I’ll contact you when I’m ready, but I’m not sure”. Our falling out wasn’t so bad, we said “bye” in a very amicable way. He blocked me everywhere though as he said he would. I blocked him as well. He told me that he “really loved me”… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Giselle
Guest
Hi, I cheated on my ex a month ago. This is an ex that loved me so much and wanted to marry me so badly to the point that he would propose everyday and try to convince me to finally marry him. When he found out, he didn’t say “goodbye”, instead he said “I’ll contact you when I’m ready, but I’m not sure”. Our falling out wasn’t so bad, we said “bye” in a very amicable way. He blocked me everywhere though as he said he would. I blocked him as well. He told me that he “really loved me”… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hopeful
Guest
My ex broke up with me a week ago, March 16th. He said it wasn’t my fault/I didn’t do anything wrong, but there was too much going on in his life and it wasn’t working anymore. We live 1 1/2 – 2 hours away from each other and he drove all the way to me to do it in person. I’d felt the affection and interest from his end fizzing out for some time, and feel as though I made things worse because when he seemed to withdraw, I’d reach out and message him more. That was my fault, but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hopeful,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Hopeful
Guest
Initially I was trying for No Contact. I caved after day nine, since he’d been liking stuff I’d post occasionally. I reached out and messaged him and he responded immediately every time. I spaced out my replies and made sure to end the conversation so it wouldn’t last too long. The conversation seemed to go well, and it felt even, and he seemed engaged. Since then, he hasn’t reached out to me. It’s been a week since I initiated. He’ll like some of my statuses every now and again, but I still worry he’s expecting me to keep initiating even… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s because you gave in too easily at the first sign that he missed you. There’s no chase.. The better choice is to restart 30 days, stick to it, be very active in improving yourself and in posting. Other than that move on. Because if you keep initiating now, you would more probably be friendzoned.

Hopeful
Guest

Do you mean to move on with my life, or from him?

I’m also a bit worried he’ll think I wasn’t sincere in wanting to stay friends. He told me he had exes say that, then they never reached out. I’m nervous he’s going to think I’ll do the same.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

oh sorry, I meant, your choices is to restart nc or to move on. You’re going to initiate contact after this 2nd nc.. so, don’t worry about that.

Hopeful
Guest
Hi Amor, Thank you for all of your help so far. I haven’t broken NC this time yet and he hasn’t contacted me either. Last night was very emotional for me because after almost three weeks of being broken up, he finally changed his status to “Single.” I’m trying not to read too much into it because he probably forgot to change it or a friend pointed it out, but I’m still worried he’s distancing himself from me. In twenty days I’ll be able to reach out so I’m trying to keep myself occupied. Before he changed his status, I… Read more »
Hopeful
Guest
My ex broke up with me a week ago, March 16th. He said it wasn’t my fault/I didn’t do anything wrong, but there was too much going on in his life and it wasn’t working anymore. We live 1 1/2 – 2 hours away from each other and he drove all the way to me to do it in person. I’d felt the affection and interest from his end fizzing out for some time, and feel as though I made things worse because when he seemed to withdraw, I’d reach out and message him more. That was my fault, but… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hopeful,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Hopeful
Guest
Initially I was trying for No Contact. I caved after day nine, since he’d been liking stuff I’d post occasionally. I reached out and messaged him and he responded immediately every time. I spaced out my replies and made sure to end the conversation so it wouldn’t last too long. The conversation seemed to go well, and it felt even, and he seemed engaged. Since then, he hasn’t reached out to me. It’s been a week since I initiated. He’ll like some of my statuses every now and again, but I still worry he’s expecting me to keep initiating even… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s because you gave in too easily at the first sign that he missed you. There’s no chase.. The better choice is to restart 30 days, stick to it, be very active in improving yourself and in posting. Other than that move on. Because if you keep initiating now, you would more probably be friendzoned.

Hopeful
Guest

Do you mean to move on with my life, or from him?

I’m also a bit worried he’ll think I wasn’t sincere in wanting to stay friends. He told me he had exes say that, then they never reached out. I’m nervous he’s going to think I’ll do the same.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

oh sorry, I meant, your choices is to restart nc or to move on. You’re going to initiate contact after this 2nd nc.. so, don’t worry about that.

Hopeful
Guest
Hi Amor, Thank you for all of your help so far. I haven’t broken NC this time yet and he hasn’t contacted me either. Last night was very emotional for me because after almost three weeks of being broken up, he finally changed his status to “Single.” I’m trying not to read too much into it because he probably forgot to change it or a friend pointed it out, but I’m still worried he’s distancing himself from me. In twenty days I’ll be able to reach out so I’m trying to keep myself occupied. Before he changed his status, I… Read more »
Ashley Spinelli
Guest
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago…I initially broke up with him but then 2 days went by and I texted him asking if we could talk because I wanted to work things out and he said that this was for the best for us and that he’s happier single and will be single for a long time. He said that he needs to figure out where he wants to be in life and that requires him to be single. since then I have made the mistake of asking him to talk so he blocked my number, Facebook,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Ashley Spinelli
Guest
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago…I initially broke up with him but then 2 days went by and I texted him asking if we could talk because I wanted to work things out and he said that this was for the best for us and that he’s happier single and will be single for a long time. He said that he needs to figure out where he wants to be in life and that requires him to be single. since then I have made the mistake of asking him to talk so he blocked my number, Facebook,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Ally
Guest
Hi there. I’m not sure if my situation is quite suitable for this thread.. but I’m really upset and desperate and I just need some advice and talk to someone My ex and I have had a very complicated journey. To be honest I don’t even know how it evolved the way it did. We used to be very in love .. almost 3 years ago now. He then moved away and the distance took its toll. He dumped me a soon moved onto another girl which I later found out he dated for almost a year. In that three… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ally,

just talk.. there’s no other way around it because it might have been confusing for him too

Ally
Guest
Hi there. I’m not sure if my situation is quite suitable for this thread.. but I’m really upset and desperate and I just need some advice and talk to someone My ex and I have had a very complicated journey. To be honest I don’t even know how it evolved the way it did. We used to be very in love .. almost 3 years ago now. He then moved away and the distance took its toll. He dumped me a soon moved onto another girl which I later found out he dated for almost a year. In that three… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ally,

just talk.. there’s no other way around it because it might have been confusing for him too

Tiea
Guest
Hi- my ex boyfriend and I broke up four months ago. We were together for almost five years. I have not tried NC. We talked almost daily since we broke up and I thought up until recently that we were going to fix things. I found out this past Sunday he is dating someone (lied to me about it) – at the moment it is not serious. Needless to say I was very upset when I found out and felt like he had led me on to thinking we could fix our relationship. We got into an fight about it… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tiea,

looks like she’s a rebound. It’s not too late to do a 30 days nc..

Help please
Guest

Is it stated that the no contact rule will always work? And how long should you do that before you give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Nope, there’s no guarantee that it will. It can only help increase your chances. It depends on the situation on how long you should do it.

Tiea
Guest
Hi- my ex boyfriend and I broke up four months ago. We were together for almost five years. I have not tried NC. We talked almost daily since we broke up and I thought up until recently that we were going to fix things. I found out this past Sunday he is dating someone (lied to me about it) – at the moment it is not serious. Needless to say I was very upset when I found out and felt like he had led me on to thinking we could fix our relationship. We got into an fight about it… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tiea,

looks like she’s a rebound. It’s not too late to do a 30 days nc..

Help please
Guest

Is it stated that the no contact rule will always work? And how long should you do that before you give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Nope, there’s no guarantee that it will. It can only help increase your chances. It depends on the situation on how long you should do it.

Isthatyou
Guest
Long story short, I cheat on my ex who wanted to marry me. He was hurt so he told me to not worry about him anymore and that he would go his own way. He then also said he would be back and that he would let me know. Blocked me on every social media and so did I him. Five days later someone contacted me with a private number. I didn’t pick up. It could have been him? I checked his other social media (which he doesn’t know I have) and he was online around that time. Then the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Isthatyou,

yes, it can be him. You don’t want a link about how to navigate your situation? Does that mean you don’t want to try advice there? Whether it was him, it doesn’t matter because that’s not going to help your improvement and it’s a miss call. You didn’t have a conversation. But if it helps you to feel better, yeah, it can probably be him but still, he didn’t ask for you back right? So, right now the more important thing is you focus in improving yourself.

Isthatyou
Guest
Long story short, I cheat on my ex who wanted to marry me. He was hurt so he told me to not worry about him anymore and that he would go his own way. He then also said he would be back and that he would let me know. Blocked me on every social media and so did I him. Five days later someone contacted me with a private number. I didn’t pick up. It could have been him? I checked his other social media (which he doesn’t know I have) and he was online around that time. Then the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Isthatyou,

yes, it can be him. You don’t want a link about how to navigate your situation? Does that mean you don’t want to try advice there? Whether it was him, it doesn’t matter because that’s not going to help your improvement and it’s a miss call. You didn’t have a conversation. But if it helps you to feel better, yeah, it can probably be him but still, he didn’t ask for you back right? So, right now the more important thing is you focus in improving yourself.

Jackie
Guest
Quick version: got dumped by my ex after 3.5 years together on January 22nd (36 days ago as of today) We broke up twice before, the first time was last August (2016) and it lasted 2 weeks before he came back. Admittedly, even though he initiated the first contact after he broke up with me, I rushed things with us getting back together so fast. We were good for the next 4 months, happy and completely normal. Christmas Day was one of our best days ever, full of love. Then on January 28th, he broke up with me randomly. He… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jackie,

It doesn’t mean there can’t be a restart. It’s good that you didn’t talk but the question is how much you improved and how active were you in posting? I think you need to start the count of 30 days from now and then be very active in improving yourself. Check the link below about that and then after it, slowly build rapport and attraction.
The Ungettable Girl

Jackie
Guest
Quick version: got dumped by my ex after 3.5 years together on January 22nd (36 days ago as of today) We broke up twice before, the first time was last August (2016) and it lasted 2 weeks before he came back. Admittedly, even though he initiated the first contact after he broke up with me, I rushed things with us getting back together so fast. We were good for the next 4 months, happy and completely normal. Christmas Day was one of our best days ever, full of love. Then on January 28th, he broke up with me randomly. He… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jackie,

It doesn’t mean there can’t be a restart. It’s good that you didn’t talk but the question is how much you improved and how active were you in posting? I think you need to start the count of 30 days from now and then be very active in improving yourself. Check the link below about that and then after it, slowly build rapport and attraction.
The Ungettable Girl

Jackie
Guest
Quick version: got dumped by my ex after 3.5 years together on January 22nd (36 days ago as of today) We broke up twice before, the first time was last August (2016) and it lasted 2 weeks before he came back. Admittedly, even though he initiated the first contact after he broke up with me, I rushed things with us getting back together so fast. We were good for the next 4 months, happy and completely normal. Christmas Day was one of our best days ever, full of love. Then on January 28th, he broke up with me randomly. He… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jackie,

It doesn’t mean there can’t be a restart. It’s good that you didn’t talk but the question is how much you improved and how active were you in posting? I think you need to start the count of 30 days from now and then be very active in improving yourself. Check the link below about that and then after it, slowly build rapport and attraction.
The Ungettable Girl

Jackie
Guest
Quick version: got dumped by my ex after 3.5 years together on January 22nd (36 days ago as of today) We broke up twice before, the first time was last August (2016) and it lasted 2 weeks before he came back. Admittedly, even though he initiated the first contact after he broke up with me, I rushed things with us getting back together so fast. We were good for the next 4 months, happy and completely normal. Christmas Day was one of our best days ever, full of love. Then on January 28th, he broke up with me randomly. He… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jackie,

It doesn’t mean there can’t be a restart. It’s good that you didn’t talk but the question is how much you improved and how active were you in posting? I think you need to start the count of 30 days from now and then be very active in improving yourself. Check the link below about that and then after it, slowly build rapport and attraction.
The Ungettable Girl

Lauren
Guest
I wrote on a different feed but this one sings a bit to me. Heres my story. My guy and I meet two years ago at work. He was married. Well his marriage was shit. They ended it. We started seeing each other right away. Our connection and love is insane. We have everything in common, we love spending all of our time together and we bring out the best in each other. We are best friends. Well along with divorce comes child visits and debt and dealing with his crazy ex. We have had to deal with a lot… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lauren,

Follow the advice on this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Lauren
Guest
I wrote on a different feed but this one sings a bit to me. Heres my story. My guy and I meet two years ago at work. He was married. Well his marriage was shit. They ended it. We started seeing each other right away. Our connection and love is insane. We have everything in common, we love spending all of our time together and we bring out the best in each other. We are best friends. Well along with divorce comes child visits and debt and dealing with his crazy ex. We have had to deal with a lot… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lauren,

Follow the advice on this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Andy
Guest
Is it possible to get back with ex after long time? We are still in contact, it’s been a year, we were fwb, I know, mistake, but he seems that he didn’t overcome our relationship, we talk sometimes about it. He is a commitment phobe and he said that he thinks he is ready for a relationship. We talked about our relationship and we agreed on some things that were wrong in it but I am afraid that he will move on to other girls. I wanna know if I have a chance with him after all that time? Does… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Ändy
Guest

Thank you, Amor, it’ very useful, but I would like to say that we were in contact during that year, so, what in that case? We saw each other last week, he was taking my dog to the vet. What should I do? NC- how long?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Well, you can still try nc and then rebuild rapport after that. I think you should do at least 30 days, and then be very focused in improving yourself in it but continue doing that after nc.

Andy
Guest
Is it possible to get back with ex after long time? We are still in contact, it’s been a year, we were fwb, I know, mistake, but he seems that he didn’t overcome our relationship, we talk sometimes about it. He is a commitment phobe and he said that he thinks he is ready for a relationship. We talked about our relationship and we agreed on some things that were wrong in it but I am afraid that he will move on to other girls. I wanna know if I have a chance with him after all that time? Does… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Ändy
Guest

Thank you, Amor, it’ very useful, but I would like to say that we were in contact during that year, so, what in that case? We saw each other last week, he was taking my dog to the vet. What should I do? NC- how long?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Well, you can still try nc and then rebuild rapport after that. I think you should do at least 30 days, and then be very focused in improving yourself in it but continue doing that after nc.

Anon
Guest
Hi there, My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. I acted a bit stupid in the first week, texting him etc… So I started NC. When we firstly initially broke up he told me he wouldn’t remove me off social media and he didn’t for two weeks. Suddenly, during the No Contact phase, he has unfriended me off FB, unfollowed me off Instagram and removed me off Snapchat, not all at once but in the space off a week each or so and seemingly after each time I posted something on there. Why has he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anon,

he’ll more likely keep checking your posts, maybe through a friends’ or a different account. So just keep being active in posting.

Anon
Guest
Hi there, My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. I acted a bit stupid in the first week, texting him etc… So I started NC. When we firstly initially broke up he told me he wouldn’t remove me off social media and he didn’t for two weeks. Suddenly, during the No Contact phase, he has unfriended me off FB, unfollowed me off Instagram and removed me off Snapchat, not all at once but in the space off a week each or so and seemingly after each time I posted something on there. Why has he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anon,

he’ll more likely keep checking your posts, maybe through a friends’ or a different account. So just keep being active in posting.

Gloria
Guest
Hey Amor! I’m near the end of the value chain, I think (finally). Texting, calls, and we’ve seen each other at several group events recently. I asked him on a date (a public event). I DID NOT call it a date though, don’t worry. He said he was busy with a 🙁 emoji, so I said no problem and went about as normal. A week later, we were in a steady conversation – he was responding within a minute of each message. I asked him if he wanted to go to a different event – one I know he’d enjoy… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, it looks like he’s avoiding it. How long have you been trying to build rapport?

Gloria
Guest
Haha, you probably remember me – it’s been a long time now. I already did NC and all that ages ago. Months of back and forth with him, most recently telling me when we see each other he feels like I’m his girlfriend again, etc. We always have an instant connection in person, and he literally remembers more inside jokes that I do. But it’s like every time I get close, he pulls back. I guess that should be a good sign though, that I have this much of an effect on him. Very frustrating though because I keep getting… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Ahh.. I checked your email in all the messages, I remember you now! 🙂 At this point, ask him straight out what your status is, what he feels. So, that you’re not going back and forth.

Gloria
Guest
He’s not good at talking about his feelings. I asked him a couple months ago and said it seems to me he’s not being honest with himself about how he feels about me based on XYZ, and he said “you’re probably right” and I was like, okay so are we going to do anything about it or..?? Ugh. That was basically an admission he still has feelings, in my opinion. That conversation was like, two hours long. He just doesn’t want to talk about it, ya know? He’s been single this whole time. But the thing is, I’m not even… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

then tell him that. be candid,funny and cheeky. Tell him, don’t worry, it’s not as if we’re getting married over coffee..

Gloria
Guest
I messaged him about it, and he ignored the text. /eyeroll A few days later, I messaged about something else and he answered in 30 seconds. He’s obviously avoiding the topic of interacting in person or phone – I say it’s because he’s worried about falling for me again. Because he’s answering texts on any other topic! I even got him to answer to “hey what’s up” which isn’t even interesting, lol. I just found out he’s coming to a mutual friend’s party tomorrow night. Haven’t seen each other in two and a half months now. What’s the most effective… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

be friendly with him ti establish a good impression

Gloria
Guest
I’m back with an update! I was friendly and cheerful at the party. He acted like any normal person to me, didn’t talk about or hit on any girls, didn’t do anything upsetting. It was nice. I asked him why he hadn’t responded to me about talking on the phone, and he made up some long thing about having to do taxes, etc. A few days after I messaged him and invited him to a group event, and he avoided with the excuse of being “busy every day for the next few weeks.” Ridiculous, right? If you’re going to lie,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

I agree with talking to him about it.. So, that you can get clear answers instead of second guessing

Gloria
Guest
Alright, so what do I say to talk to him about it? The last conversation was me wishing him a good bday, him responding the next day saying sorry he was asleep when I sent it (a lie) and he did have a good day, me responding cheerfully with “Oh yay! what did you do for your celebration?” and him not responding to that. It’s been four days. I thought I’d message him and say “hey what’s up with you lately? I feel like you’re avoiding me” but that also sounds too confrontational for his personality. Ugh. Help with the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
If you see each other in person, just be honest and straightforward.. It would be better to be done in person.. Be calm, don’t be emotional. So, that you would know where you actually stand, because you’ve been doing this for a year now right?You have to be clear now whether to move on, or to just work on some issues about his fears. The longer you stick to him like that, the less ungettable you appear.. You have to convey, that you have a life and that you’re not going to stick forever. I know that you’re not willing… Read more »
Jesse
Guest
Hi team, So my ex and I had our first official hang out (outside of couple’s counseling) this past weekend. When we sat down he said he was a little nervous and asked how I was. It was pretty lovely. There was a lot of lingering eye contact. We talked a little bit about the relationship but I was like “none of it matters.” He kept on asking if I was okay. At one point he asked how it felt being friends so soon after the breakup and when I kind of didn’t say anything he was like “well we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jesse,

with counseling, it depends on what your counselor says.. If she says you two should date, go ahead. Because she can see both of your status personally. But for me, if there’s no rapport and attraction, build that first. It should feel natural to want to see each other for dates or hang outs..

Gloria
Guest
Hey Amor! I’m near the end of the value chain, I think (finally). Texting, calls, and we’ve seen each other at several group events recently. I asked him on a date (a public event). I DID NOT call it a date though, don’t worry. He said he was busy with a 🙁 emoji, so I said no problem and went about as normal. A week later, we were in a steady conversation – he was responding within a minute of each message. I asked him if he wanted to go to a different event – one I know he’d enjoy… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, it looks like he’s avoiding it. How long have you been trying to build rapport?

Gloria
Guest
Haha, you probably remember me – it’s been a long time now. I already did NC and all that ages ago. Months of back and forth with him, most recently telling me when we see each other he feels like I’m his girlfriend again, etc. We always have an instant connection in person, and he literally remembers more inside jokes that I do. But it’s like every time I get close, he pulls back. I guess that should be a good sign though, that I have this much of an effect on him. Very frustrating though because I keep getting… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Ahh.. I checked your email in all the messages, I remember you now! 🙂 At this point, ask him straight out what your status is, what he feels. So, that you’re not going back and forth.

Gloria
Guest
He’s not good at talking about his feelings. I asked him a couple months ago and said it seems to me he’s not being honest with himself about how he feels about me based on XYZ, and he said “you’re probably right” and I was like, okay so are we going to do anything about it or..?? Ugh. That was basically an admission he still has feelings, in my opinion. That conversation was like, two hours long. He just doesn’t want to talk about it, ya know? He’s been single this whole time. But the thing is, I’m not even… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

then tell him that. be candid,funny and cheeky. Tell him, don’t worry, it’s not as if we’re getting married over coffee..

Gloria
Guest
I messaged him about it, and he ignored the text. /eyeroll A few days later, I messaged about something else and he answered in 30 seconds. He’s obviously avoiding the topic of interacting in person or phone – I say it’s because he’s worried about falling for me again. Because he’s answering texts on any other topic! I even got him to answer to “hey what’s up” which isn’t even interesting, lol. I just found out he’s coming to a mutual friend’s party tomorrow night. Haven’t seen each other in two and a half months now. What’s the most effective… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

be friendly with him ti establish a good impression

Gloria
Guest
I’m back with an update! I was friendly and cheerful at the party. He acted like any normal person to me, didn’t talk about or hit on any girls, didn’t do anything upsetting. It was nice. I asked him why he hadn’t responded to me about talking on the phone, and he made up some long thing about having to do taxes, etc. A few days after I messaged him and invited him to a group event, and he avoided with the excuse of being “busy every day for the next few weeks.” Ridiculous, right? If you’re going to lie,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

I agree with talking to him about it.. So, that you can get clear answers instead of second guessing

Gloria
Guest
Alright, so what do I say to talk to him about it? The last conversation was me wishing him a good bday, him responding the next day saying sorry he was asleep when I sent it (a lie) and he did have a good day, me responding cheerfully with “Oh yay! what did you do for your celebration?” and him not responding to that. It’s been four days. I thought I’d message him and say “hey what’s up with you lately? I feel like you’re avoiding me” but that also sounds too confrontational for his personality. Ugh. Help with the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
If you see each other in person, just be honest and straightforward.. It would be better to be done in person.. Be calm, don’t be emotional. So, that you would know where you actually stand, because you’ve been doing this for a year now right?You have to be clear now whether to move on, or to just work on some issues about his fears. The longer you stick to him like that, the less ungettable you appear.. You have to convey, that you have a life and that you’re not going to stick forever. I know that you’re not willing… Read more »
Jelly
Guest

Hi! I’m not talking to my boyfriend for 25 days now and it seems like he doesn’t care anymore whether im gone or what. He just like some pics of girls on instagram because i made a dummy account. I mase myself better but im stsrting to miss him more. I sent him last saturday a long letter that im sending him that for the last time

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jelly,

do you mean you’re moving on?

Jelly
Guest

No im not moving on. I just said thank you to him for all the good things that happened between us despite of everything but yeah i got no respond and looks like he really wants to move on and i just feel that if i approach him nothing will happened

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Ok, well first, you shouldn’t have stalked him during nc.. And that’s an ok first contact text, but not really something that is conversational. I think you need to restart the count. If he did move on, he has to think you have to for him to be wiling to be friendly with you again. When you restart the count, be active again in improving yourself and in posting in social media. No social media stalking him. And then continue improving yourself even after nc, while rebuilding rapport. Check the link below for a first contact text. If he doesn’t… Read more »
Jesse
Guest
Hi team, So my ex and I had our first official hang out (outside of couple’s counseling) this past weekend. When we sat down he said he was a little nervous and asked how I was. It was pretty lovely. There was a lot of lingering eye contact. We talked a little bit about the relationship but I was like “none of it matters.” He kept on asking if I was okay. At one point he asked how it felt being friends so soon after the breakup and when I kind of didn’t say anything he was like “well we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jesse,

with counseling, it depends on what your counselor says.. If she says you two should date, go ahead. Because she can see both of your status personally. But for me, if there’s no rapport and attraction, build that first. It should feel natural to want to see each other for dates or hang outs..

Ola
Guest

Hi!
First of all I want to thank you. i comment here very often and yours advices are fantastic. I made a lot of mistakes during getting him back but I believe that I still can get him back( thanks to your site). Right now I’ve started Nc once again( as you advised me) but I have a little doubt. Today he has gotten engineer degree. Should I congratulate him and go back to NC or just stick to no contact rule?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Ola,

It would be better to stick to nc..

vanessa
Guest

I’m on day 29, and my messages are still blocked on fb (you can tell now without sending anything). I’m worried it may be too soon. I was planning on making contact on day 35, but should I wait longer? No idea if I’m blocked by text either so…

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Vanessa,

I think you should extend to 45 to be safe..

Vanessa
Guest

Thanks for replying. What is the benefit of going to day 45 over day 30? Also, I had deactivated my Facebook until 2 days ago, and now I’m actively posting, do you think that might have made a difference to things?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Start the count of the 66 days from the last day you talked, so that means you’re not in the 66th day mark yet. And 45 days is just being safe that if he does unblock you after 30 days, it will not look like you’re just waiting for him to do it to message him.

Jelly
Guest

Hi! I’m not talking to my boyfriend for 25 days now and it seems like he doesn’t care anymore whether im gone or what. He just like some pics of girls on instagram because i made a dummy account. I mase myself better but im stsrting to miss him more. I sent him last saturday a long letter that im sending him that for the last time

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jelly,

do you mean you’re moving on?

Jelly
Guest

No im not moving on. I just said thank you to him for all the good things that happened between us despite of everything but yeah i got no respond and looks like he really wants to move on and i just feel that if i approach him nothing will happened

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Ok, well first, you shouldn’t have stalked him during nc.. And that’s an ok first contact text, but not really something that is conversational. I think you need to restart the count. If he did move on, he has to think you have to for him to be wiling to be friendly with you again. When you restart the count, be active again in improving yourself and in posting in social media. No social media stalking him. And then continue improving yourself even after nc, while rebuilding rapport. Check the link below for a first contact text. If he doesn’t… Read more »