Many people come to my website obsessed with finding out if their exes want them back.
With this article I thought it would be interesting to flip the script and talk about some of the signs that you need to watch out for if your ex DOESN’T want you back so you know it’s time to move on.
The only question is,
Well, that’s exactly what you are going to get in this comprehensive guide.
6 Signs Your Ex Doesn’t Want You Back
It shouldn’t come as a shock to you that most of the people who try to get their exes back usually fail. It’s one of those things where the odds aren’t in your favor. Therefore, it’s actually quite easy to identify specific behaviors that exes exhibit if they don’t want you back.
That’s exactly what I’ve done for this article.
I’ve compiled a list of people who’ve failed to get their exes back and tried to connect the dots for you so that you can see what behaviors their exes were exhibiting.
In all, I have identified six main behaviors that an ex will exhibit if they don’t want you back,
- Your ex doesn’t respond to you
- Your exes responses are mediocre
- Your ex blocks you for a month
- Your ex friend zones you
- You become friends with benefits
- Your ex cancels dates at the last minute
Let’s take a moment to do a quick crash course on each of these behaviors so you can get a grasp on if your ex is exhibiting them.
1. Your Ex Doesn’t Respond To You
This one is pretty straight forward.
When compiling data for this article the single biggest factor in determining if your ex wanted you back or not was how frequently they would respond to you.
Specifically with an emphasis on text messages.
Let’s say that you follow my advice and implement a no contact rule. Now, if you’ve read my book or coached with me you’d know that my version of the no contact rule is slightly different than most of my peers.
You see, they’ll have you believe that all you need to do to get your ex back is utilize a no contact rule.
Almost as if implying they’ll fall into your lap if you just do this one strategy.
I’m a little more realistic.
You see, I learned that people tend to get the best results when they are proactive and reach out to their exes first. So, lets say that you do that. You reach out to your ex first but you don’t get a response.
You do your best not to panic so you wait a few days and try again.
Each time you try to reach out your ex snubs you.
In my experience, it’s impossible to get an ex back if they don’t communicate with you.
So, I’d begin worrying if you reach out and don’t get a response the majority of the time you try to initiate communication.
Of course, that’s not all you should be concerning yourself with.
2. Your Exes Responses Are Mediocre
In my experience most exes will respond to you after a breakup.
Very rarely do my clients run across an ex that exhibits behaviors similar to sign one. What’s more than likely is if you get an ex who does this to you,
Do you see what happened there?
Every time this person tried to initiate a conversation with their ex they got a one word response. In other words, this persons ex only gave mediocre responses.
Now, this brings up an interesting question.
What constitutes a mediocre response?
In my opinion, it’s when your ex responds to you in a way in which a text message has no substance to it.
Almost as if to say,
“I have better things to do with my time than talk to you.”
Definitely not a good sign.
3. Your Ex Blocks You For More Than A Month
I’ve written a lot about being blocked by an ex on this website.
You want to know the crazy thing I’ve learned about it?
Generally speaking, people panic when their ex blocks them. However, those people are rarely blocked for more than a month. Inevitibly their ex will unblock them without them having to do anything.
It’s truly a game of patience.
I know it’s a lot to take on faith but just listen to one of my clients experiences with being blocked,
Blocking someone tends to be an impulse decision with many different motivations.
The thing about impulse decisions is that you tend to regret them.
And 30 days seems to be that magical number for when regret begins to set in.
Now, if we understand this at a basic level it isn’t too difficult to make a leap that it’s a very bad sign if you remain blocked by your ex for more than 30 days.
At that point it might be time to start thinking something is awry.
4. Your Ex Friend Zones You
The friend zone is not a fun place to be when it comes to relationships.
Everyone whose ever seen these memes knows exactly what I’m talking about,
No one really talks about this but there is a sense of superiority that comes along with the friend zone. It’s almost like the person who puts you in the friend zone is saying,
“I’m better than you because I know I can get you whenever I want.”
I’ve long held the belief that attempting to get an ex back is all about timing and positioning.
Do you think being put in the friend zone is the right position to get your ex back?
In fact, I wrote an entire section about the dreaded friend zone in my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.
In it, I make the argument that the best way to get out of the friend zone should you find yourself in it is to use it’s perception to your advantage.
I’ll give you an example.
This is the thought process behind a man who puts you in the friend zone.
Like I said, there is a sense of superiority behind it.
My argument is that you need to use this “sense of superiority” that your ex gets to your advantage.
By doing something that indicates that your ex is actually in your friend zone it does something to his head. It forces him to confront a reality that he believed was impossible at one point.
But I’m getting a bit off topic here. Let’s go back to some of the warning signs you need to keep an eye out for.
5. You Become Friends With Benefits
A lot of people falsely believe that sleeping with their ex will be “the ultimate show of love” and convince them to commit to them again.
I find the opposite is actually true.
What ends up happening is that once you sleep with your ex they understand where the proverbial line in the sand is.
They understand that they can get away with sleeping with you whenever they want without a commitment.
I’d like to tell you a story that I think will sum human nature up for you,
Now, what does Roger Bannister breaking the four minute mile have to do with sleeping with an ex.
Well, pay attention to what happened after he did it.
According to the video, since he broke the 4 minute mile mark, 20,000 people have broken it.
Once you show someone that something can be done it opens all new possibilities to them.
Once you sleep with your ex and let them know that it’s ok to have sex with you without a commitment you have essentially shown them that that behavior is ok and they will take advantage of it as long as possible.
6. Your Ex Cancels Dates At The Last Minute
This is a sign that I haven’t seen anyone ever talk about.
And yet, it’s something I see in our Private Facebook Group all the time among women who don’t get their exes back.
In order to fully understand what this is all about you must first understand the nexus behind “mixed signals.”
I want you to take a moment and watch this video I did on YouTube a few months ago,
In it, you’ll notice I start talking about this idea of an internal conversation that happens after they see you. It’s during this internal conversation that ultimately their mind gets made up on whether or not they should be with you.
A lot of my clients get so caught up with what their ex is saying in the moment.
But having your ex say something during the most romantic part of an encounter isn’t the same thing as having them decide to say something to you after the fact.
In my opinion, that is more powerful.
So, why does an ex promise to take you on a date and then suddenly back out?
Well, ultimately it boils down to that internal conversation they have in their head.
They stand you up because they talk themselves out of seeing you.
The only question is, how do you get the opposite to happen?
Well, if you’re interested then make sure you immerse yourself in our website because that’s what it’s all about.