After a break-up your ex-boyfriend can say all kinds of things and it can be difficult to understand what he means and how you should act afterwards.

One of the most common things an ex might do is tell you not to contact them anymore.

If your ex-boyfriend has said this, then you are probably worrying that he never wants to speak to you again but it is very rare that he ever actually means this.

To help you maximize your chances of getting your ex back this article is going to teach you all about:-

  • The reasons he might ask you not to contact him
  • What you should do to get him talking to you again

If your ex-boyfriend has told you never to contact him again then there are a number of reasons why he might say that.

The good news is that this is something your ex tends to say in the heat of the moment and later regrets.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Reasons he might ask you not to contact him

Alrighty, now we are getting to the meat of the article here.

Below I have compiled four main reasons for why he might ask you not to contact him.

Ready?

Reason #1: You Were A Text Gnat

What is a Text Gnat?

It is someone who Goes Nuts At Texting!!!

If you bombarded your ex-boyfriend with text messages and phone calls after the breakup, begging him to talk to you and get back together, then you would be considered to be a Text Gnat.

Gnatting your ex to get back together is a fruitless exercise and your ex will have found it incredibly annoying.

If you are still texting your ex-boyfriend asking to get back together or to meet up then you should stop immediately, as you run the risk of getting blocked by phone, email, and social media by your ex if you do not respect his wishes.

Sending endless messages to an ex-boyfriend can also scare the hell out of him. 
Have you ever heard the phrase,

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”?

What this means is that no one is angrier than a woman who has been rejected.
If your ex can see in your messages that you are angry with him for breaking up with you, he knows that unless he brings the situation under control, you have the potential to turn stalker and show up at his house or at his work and wreak major havoc in his life.

If you are Gnatting your ex-boyfriend by sending a lot of text messages or phone calls after the breakup it is likely that your ex will tell you not to contact him anymore as you are both annoying or your behavior scares him.

Reason #2: Pain

It might seem strange that someone breaking up with you will feel pain but it is true.

When your ex-boyfriend ends the relationship, he is going to experience the same feelings as you do after the breakup. An ex will experience separation anxiety after the breakup and as time goes by he will miss you more and more, because of this he might ask you not to contact him again as it will remind him of you, just as he is trying to move on.

If your ex has been struggling with the breakup he most likely asked you not to contact him because talking to you hurts too much. When an ex is experiencing this kind of pain then he is likely to feel that having a clean break will help him to return to normal quicker.

Reason #3: Anger

Arguments either during or after a breakup can leave your ex-boyfriend feeling extremely angry. When this happens, it is not uncommon for an ex-boyfriend to lash out and demand that you never contact them again.

If your ex does this, he is acting from a place of anger rather than logic and in that moment he is trying to hurt and punish you for the breakup.

Once your ex overcomes his anger in the subsequent days or weeks, he will begin to miss you and regret what he has said. An ex-boyfriend is most likely to act out of anger either mid argument or straight after he receives an unwanted text message from you.

Reason #4: The Other Woman

This reason is definitely the biggest concern amongst subscribers in the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Support Group. I can’t think of any cases across our subscribers where an ex-boyfriend has a new woman and the ex-girlfriend isn’t filled with panic.

If your ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else, then the most likely reason he has asked you not to contact him again is because he has a new girlfriend. 
There are two potential things that would cause an ex-boyfriend to ask that you do not contact them again.

1) When your ex is in a new relationship he will want to respect the other woman, because of this he will ask that you stay away.

2) If his new girlfriend is aware that you are in contact with you ex then she may demand that he stops talking to you.

If your ex has a new girlfriend very soon after your breakup, you should take comfort in the idea that it is probably as rebound and is unlikely to last. Men often enter rebound relationships as a way to distract themselves from the loneliness of being without you. When the new relationship ends your ex will again start to miss you and regret telling you not to contact him anymore.

How To Get Him Back

Now that you understand why your ex-boyfriend might ask you to leave him alone we are going to take a little time to discuss what you can do to win your ex back.

Step One: The No Contact Rule

The best thing you can do when your ex-boyfriend asks you not to contact them anymore is to give him space, just as he asks. Regardless of the reason he is asking, the best course of action is to give him some temporary space for 3-4 weeks.

This short period of silence is called No-Contact and is a temporary measure.

  1. If your ex says this to you when you breakup, you should immediately go into No-Contact.
  2. If your ex says this to you after your No-Contact period, you should do another 3-4 weeks.

During your no contact period you should refrain from all contact with your ex-boyfriend by phone, text, email, social media etc. Use your No-Contact period as an opportunity to work on yourself and become a stronger and better person.

Time is a great healer and your period of No-Contact will help you both. As time goes by the fact your ex has not heard from you in a while will make him miss you. As you have not contacted him, he will wonder if you have moved on, and this will give him a greater desire to chase you.

The other great side effect of the No-Contact period is that its resets your ex-boyfriend’s memories of you as a person. If at the end of your relationship you were a Text Gnat, then having a period of silence with your ex will help you to overcome your ex’s perception of you as needy and annoying.

Having a period of time where you do not contact your ex-boyfriend, helps him to forget the bad memories of the breakup, and replace them with a feeling of nostalgia for the good times you had together. This can only be achieved if you undertake a period of No-Contact.

There is no need to pre-advice your ex that you are going into No-Contact nor should you feel the need to apologize before you do unless you have done something seriously wrong like cheating.

Step Two: Become The Ungettable Girl

During your No-Contact period you have a golden opportunity to become a better version of yourself.
What could your ex-boyfriend want more than someone they miss?…… Someone they miss who got hotter, smarter, and more popular of course!!!!

This hotter, smarter, more popular version of yourself is what we call The Ungettable Girl.

To become The Ungettable Girl you should focus your efforts on practicing something called The Holy Trinity, which involves dedicating time towards improving your health, wealth and relationships.

Focusing on your health, particularly after a breakup is so important. It is easy to forget your physical and mental wellbeing when a relationship ends. Take time to eat properly, exercise regularly and deal with your emotional issues.

Reflect on what you could do to make yourself feel more confident about your body, perhaps that means losing weight or new haircut. You should do whatever you feel is appropriate to regain your confidence and feel fabulous in your own skin.

Working to improve your health is in your own best interests but it also helps to get your ex’s attention… after all men are visual creatures! I would emphasise though that the kind of beauty that all men love is supported by an inner confidence….

This is why you focus on your mental health as well as your physical looks.

The next area to focus on is wealth. This is particularly crucial if you used to live with your ex or were in a long-distance relationship, as both can leave you in financial hardship.
When trying to improve your wealth you should search for both short and long term solutions.

That can mean, taking on extra hours in your current job, reaching for a promotion or even studying for a qualification that will lead to your dream job.
Another thing you could think about doing is volunteering and undertaking charity work to gain the experience you need to get a better job.

You are probably wondering why wealth is an important area to focus on…… well I’m pretty sure most guys don’t really care about how much money you have. However your ex will care about how independent you are financially as this is seen as an indicator of how needy you are.

The other reason financial independence is important as it increases your value in his eyes because a woman who has freedoms of her own will not date a low quality guy…… He knows you will have more options now! Due to this your ex-boyfriend will want to chase you again.

The final pillar of the Holy Trinity of The Ungettable Girl is relationships.

The Ungettable Girl is a social butterfly, she has amazing relationships with her friends, is fantastic with her family and is always getting asked to go on dates.
During your no contact period you should spend time renewing old friendships, creating new ones, improving your relationship with your family and going on dates.

Take up some new hobbies and interests to meet new people and have subjects to talk about with your ex. Sign up for a dating website, go speed dating, ask your friends to set you up on blind dates.
You may not yet feel like dating new people, however you should actively seek to go on at least two dates before you re-connect with your ex. I recommend this as it will help prevent you from falling back into needy behavior.

Dating other guys will also increase your ex’s desire to chase you due to the Principle of Scarcity, if your ex sees you moving on it will lead him to believe that if he doesn’t act soon his chance will be gone!

On your quest to become the Ungettable girl you should post interesting material to social media.

As you have practiced the No-Contact rule, your ex-boyfriend is likely to start missing you and begin to stalk you on social media to see what you are up to. Take lots of pictures of all the places you are going and people you are meeting and share them on social media for your ex-boyfriend, and any mutual connections to see. In doing so you will ensure your ex sees all the fruits of your hard work to become The Ungettable Girl.

When he sees your photos he will feel jealous of your new life and fear he is missing out…. That fear is going to make him want to be in your life again.

Step Three: Build Rapport

After your no contact period is over your next step is to start texting your ex to build rapport and later create attraction. To build rapport with your ex you should send a first contact text message, this should be something fun, exciting and interesting so that it grabs your ex’s attention and makes him want to talk to you.

To get some inspiration on what you can text your ex, create two lists.

Places you went together and experiences you shared

His hobbies and interests

Using these lists as a basis for your texting will help to make your message as interesting as possible to him. These lists can be used to generate two types of text.

The first type of text message is the Memory Text which is used to subtly remind your ex of a positive time you spent together. For example you and your ex spent a summer travelling around Germany so you decide to send him the following text.

The second type text is called the Million Dollars Text because it is going to be so unusual and exciting it will be like winning a million dollars. It consists of information your ex is going to want to hear.

What you will notice about both of these text messages is that they are positive, light and low pressure. Your first contact text message should not mention getting back together or meeting up to discuss the breakup, as it is far too soon in the process and will scare your ex away.

Your initial text messages to your ex-boyfriend should be focused on building rapport and establishing positive dialogue that you can later build upon.

You should aim to keep your first texting conversation very brief, no more than perhaps 3-4 texts long. I want you to be the person that ends the conversation, you should try to to do it at a high point as this will leave your ex wanting more.

If you do this successfully it will trigger his desire to chase you in later interactions.

The purpose of the first contact text message is to simply remind your ex that you exist, that you are thriving and happy without him and indicate that it is safe to talk; in doing so you will pique your ex-boyfriends interest to want to converse more.
If your ex doesn’t reply to your text, stay calm and try again in 7-10 day’s time.

If your ex tells you to go away, wait a month.

Winning your ex back will take time, you will use numerous texts and phone calls and face to face meetings in the process to get your ex-boyfriend back.

You will need to exercise restraint and patience to be successful.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Step Four: Being There

If your ex-boyfriend is in a new relationship then you are going to have to practice something called the “Being There” method after your period of no contact.
The Being There method is a way to stay present and relevant in your ex-boyfriends life until his new relationship naturally comes to an end.

You are NOT trying to actively break them up so you should maintain respectful boundaries with your ex-boyfriend.

By being friendly with your ex you are going to allow his new girlfriends jealousy to eventually break them up. I don’t believe there are any girlfriends who would be happy with their guy staying in touch with his ex so the fact you are “being there” will put strain on their relationship.

Your objective with the Being There method is to be a constant presence in your ex’s life, all the time reminding him of how great you are and how you are a better option than the other woman….. you will find this much easier if you are really working hard to maintain your Ungettable Girl status!

Summary

Whether your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend or is simply going through an emotional rollercoaster after the breakup it is always worth remembering that requests to leave him alone are usually said in the heat of the moment and are generally temporary.

Your strongest position to win your ex back at this moment is silence and no-contact, give your ex exactly what he is asking for right now. In doing so you are respecting his wishes, giving him space to regret his decision and allowing yourself time to heal and become the Ungettable Girl.

Winning your ex back is a journey that requires patience, you cannot go from zero to hero overnight in the eyes of your ex-boyfriend. Composure and positivity will go a long way towards helping you to re-establish a connection with your ex, this will lay a strong foundation to build attraction later so as you can work towards getting back together.

What to Read Next

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91 thoughts on “My Ex Boyfriend Told Me Not To Contact Him Anymore”

  1. Avatar

    Veronica

    May 17, 2020 at 9:18 pm

    Hi. Please tell me if the same principles are available if me and the guy were not even in a relationship (because he is not doing them), we were together just for fun and sex, but I started feeling more and he pulled back (but the reason for “breakup” is not even this one, it was something that I said and he misinterpret) and told me to not contact him anymore (this was 4 days ago). I understood and stopped begging and all texts.
    Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:21 pm

      Hi Veronia, the same applies if you want to try and get him back yes, but you need to be sure that you do not allow a casual relationship to form again. Friends with benefits is difficult to change into a relationship. Work on your Holy Trinity and work to become Ungettable and show your ex what he has lost

  2. Avatar

    Anushka Dutta

    March 13, 2020 at 3:21 am

    We likely broke up 3 months ago. He was the one ending up stuffs. Though we were in love for about 3-4 years. He stays away. Idk if he’s got someone else or not ..but I tried the no contact and deactivated all the social medias cause I was nearly depressed so I wanted to stay out of it for some days. Later I got a text from him on whatsapp which is the first time he texted me on that cause we had never spoken on that whatsapp since the beginning. He wished me “happy Holi” at noon and I responded “same to you” at night as I was busy. Later the next day, I asked, ” is is the place in Xyz ” all he replied is just a “no”

    Idk why he does that. I really love him and I was angry so I deleted his chats without making a “seen” on WhatsApp. I really love him..I wanted to initiate the convo but..he seems so the hell distant ..just before the breakup..what to do ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 20, 2020 at 9:26 pm

      Hi Anushka, it sound as if you need to do a No Contact for 30 days and work on yourself in that time. Give your ex some space and focus on your Holy Trinity.

  3. Avatar

    Belle

    February 4, 2020 at 12:23 am

    Ex bf from ldr and I broke up in November. He immediately started dating another girl. We didn’t speak for a while. He texted me on New Year’s Day. No response afterward so I waited a full thirty days and have continued to post fun posts on fb and workout and better myself. I went ahead and used one of the suggested texts, he asked me to never contact him again and said I was annoying. Do I just let go at this point? I feel absolutely crushed

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 4, 2020 at 10:01 pm

      Hi Belle, you need to read the Ungettable post and the being there method so that you can understand how to reattract an ex and make them start looking at you in a different light

  4. Avatar

    Nay

    January 5, 2020 at 5:51 pm

    So me and my ex been together together for over a year and we broke up about 3 months ago when he found out I cheated on him when he was Incarcerated but we been in contact ever since But he told me to move on because he Have. New girlfriend we recently met up and Slept together but we got into a big argument and he said never contact him again What should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 5, 2020 at 11:04 pm

      Hey Nay, so you start with a No Contact and reach out following the being there method if he is still with the girlfriend at the end of your No Contact. Do not sleep with him again unless you are in a relationship though. Assess also what made you cheat at the time, if the relationship can work

  5. Avatar

    Kathleen

    January 4, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    Hello!
    I was blocked by my ex for a day after an argument we had over him telling me that I had low standards. I was pretty upset by this that I blocked him as well and told him to not speak to me again. I unblocked him the day after cause I wanted to leave him an apology for the way I acted because that’s the kind of person I am. I called him first to see if I was blocked (it didn’t go straight to voicemail) and I was unblocked already, so I texted him an apology for the way I acted. An hour later he calls me through Facebook (Cause he thought he was blocked) and calls my phone. Sadly, I did pick up because he hates it when I don’t answer. He asked if I called him and I just told him that it might have been an accident (obviously not), so he asked me why I called and I told him to read the text whenever he had the chance, but he couldn’t at the time so I apologized on the phone. He told me that he wanted to not contact/see me for a while and I said the same back, and he said that it’s hard cause he’ll miss me, etc. He also said that we didn’t need to tell our friends we broke up cause they’ll get the hint..in the end he ended with saying best wishes to me and I said the same back and said bye… I know it’s time to do the no contact rule, but I’m having doubts.. what if he does move on?
    We were in a 5 year relationship and I was engaged, but he ended things.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 5, 2020 at 1:19 am

      Hey Kathleen, so you definitely need to do a no contact and you do not need to worry about him moving on that fast as you were in a long term relationship anyone he met now would be a rebound. Work on yourself during the no contact and get over the break up, look at why you broke up and what you can do on your part to make changes so that it would not happen another time

  6. Avatar

    Prerana Singh

    January 2, 2020 at 8:44 am

    We had a breakup today on (2jaunary 2020) and I was in a long distance relationship, the reason was that I had hurt him badly by asking some people on social media about him(were his friends) and he’s famous and working,now they’re seeing him in a wrong way, I apologized to those people saying if was my misunderstanding, and to him also,but he was very angry and said many things,like,’go away’ ‘you were the biggest mistake of my life’, and when I asked, would it be possible for us to come together in the future, he said,’NO,NEVER YOU AGAIN,’,etc, I don’t know what to do,☹️, are there still chanches?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 1:33 am

      Hey there, so you need to go into a No contact to give your ex space and allow emotions to calm down, if you want your ex back then following this program is going to give you, your best chance, but doing so you have to make sure that you are putting the work in and reading the materials

  7. Avatar

    rosecabe

    November 12, 2019 at 8:37 am

    MY GUY BROKE UP WITH ME.
    HE TOLD ME NOT TO CONTACT HIM FOR 30 Days – HE WENT BACK TO HIS EX GF AND THEY ARE LIVING IN TOGETHER IN HIS APARTMENT FOR ONE MONTH. what should i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 12, 2019 at 7:43 pm

      Hi Rosecabe, you need to read about the being there method. You also need to ask yourself why he doesnt want you to reach out for a month as you need to make him aware of the fact you are not talking to him. You need to do 45 days No Contact

  8. Avatar

    Kylie

    August 16, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    What happens when he tells me that he will always love me and I will always have a piece of his heart when we broke up? Then after 3 days of trying to talk to him he ignores me. I didnt contact him for a week. Then i messaged him and he told me to move on like he has and to delete everything?

    Does no contact even work after that?

  9. Avatar

    Palak

    August 6, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    He wanted to breakup with me face to face , so we meet at our usual place and he told me that I should not call or text or roam around his office and while I was going home he told me that we can be friends and I can text him on Instagram if I want . so what should I do if I want him back . I’ve not contacted him for 2 months , so what should be my next step .
    I know that he still has feeling for me but don’t know why he is ignoring me .

  10. Avatar

    Palak

    August 6, 2019 at 6:45 pm

    He wanted to breakup with me face to face , so we meet at our usual place and he told me that I should not call or text or roam around his office and while I was going home he told me that we can be friends and I can text him on Instagram if I want . so what should I do if I want him back . I’ve not contacted him for 2 months , so what should be my next step .

  11. Avatar

    Anaya

    August 1, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    Hey, my ex and I were in a relationship for a year and everything was almost perfect in the beginning. we’ve definitely had our fair share of arguments towards the end but even then i really didn’t want it to reach the end since i felt our greater memories were amazing compared to our fighting. we would meet almost every day and get food and i could come to his house and we’d do anything just like any other couple would. He was my best friend even before we started dating. After 6 months into our relationship We started fighting almost every day over this girl who would always touch him and flirt with him which naturally made me uncomfortable, but it annoyed him as well and i could tell. she would constantly do this every day in school and she thought i was just using him and i told him she said this and he didn’t believe me until his friends told him as well. they were sort of friends before we got together but just as soon as i came in his life she seemed to get super jealous. I really wanted him to cut her off and he didn’t think that was fair of me. Anyway, school ended and she was the reason for our arguments and we ended up breaking up about a week after school had ended.We tried being friends again just like how we started off before dating and honestly i was so happy i still got to see him and talk to him but i could tell he was still sad over our relationship. Now he said that “we shouldn’t talk anymore” since it makes him really sad and he doesn’t want to be sad anymore. I really wish there was something i could do to convince him that we had really great memories besides our fighting but he doesn’t think it’ll ever go back to the way it used too and he misses that.and now we’re in the no contact phase. what should I try and do?

  12. Avatar

    Lily

    April 14, 2019 at 6:23 pm

    Hi sir…. I want to tell my problem….my ex and I were in a relationship 2 years back. The main reason of the breakup was that his family doesn’t like me and he wants to give attention on his career. I didn’t said anything to him but was very hurt of his decision. I didn’t talked to him for 2 years . But some months back he messaged me to talk to him on phone. I called him and he was sorry for what he did and want me to be his friend. I even told me that he has a gf. I didn’t said anything and paused the conversation. I again contacted him and we were discussing our past time mistakes. I teased him about his new gf and he confessed that he said lie to me that he has a gf, Infact he doesn’t have any gf after me. He told me that he still loves me but we don’t have any future so he don’t wanna come in a relationship. From that day I tried my best to make things better again but I don’t know what happened to him that he told me that why I m contacting him again and again. I stopped talking to him from that day. After 3-4 days he again contacted me with a funny message. Plz help me . I really love him but things are not coming in the way it should be. Help…..

  13. Avatar

    Rachel

    March 23, 2019 at 10:07 am

    Dear Chris, so I applied NC for a whole month with my ex who I think has GIGS. We met each other in an event and talked a bit. He was acting all flirting and it felt really good. I actually think I have the right mindset “move on without moving on” and am ready to start fresh with him. However, he said he hasn’t move on yet and kept trying to discuss our breakup which makes me a bit uncomfortable. He said he’s still in a healing process and thinks that it’s too soon for us to talk or meet up right now. He’s still taking time and trying to figure things out. I was a bit upset like how come he could be suffering when he was the one who broke up with me so I accidentally told him I don’t want him back bc getting over him is very hard and I don’t want to do that again… which I regretted immediately bc I do. Anyway he said he needs more time and space which is better that we don’t talk just yet. What do I do now? Restart another NC?

  14. Avatar

    Sissi

    February 27, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    I didn’t contact him anymore after his last email. He said we couldn’t be friends but I still want to be friends with him. What should I do after no contact period as he will not see anything about me in social media? He has deleted me from his mobile contact list, but I am not sure if he has blocked my mobile, email, if he has deleted Wechat App… We were in a long distance romantic relationship for about one year. I am in China and he is in England. He didn’t get the job in China and broke up with me last December. He told me he got a girlfriend in England before our breakup. Then we just stayed in touch as friends. At the beginning of this Jan. I suddenly got a call from his girlfriend in the early morning. I answered because I saw it was his number and thought maybe something happened. I only heard she said ‘hello’ then seems he tried to stop her. After that he texted sorry. The next morning he sent me a message asking me to spend the following weekend with him when he came back to China for work. I accepted because he said he broke up with his new girlfriend and not friends. We met twice when he was in China until he returned to England on 1/30. Before he left he said it was goodbye because he was not coming back to China. Then he deleted me and readded me twice on Wechat. He sent me a text first two days later. We chatted and talked as usunal. And I even sent him a birthday present via Amazon. On 2/17 I found him deleted me again on Wechat so I sent a friend request and waited. He added me as friend on 2/18 but no message. I sent some messages to him but no reply. I called him on 2/19 and he called back he dated with that woman again and asked me to stop contacting him and pissed off! On 2/21 I got an email from him saying that “Just got your present thank you but please don’t contact me again please don’t I have entered into a new phase of my life and I can’t have you in it. You are an amazing special lady and it is time for us to both move on please don’t let my last emotion for you be anger and respect my decision.”

  15. Avatar

    Christine P.

    October 7, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    Hello!
    I need help with this please. I have been texting with a guy for more than a month, the conversation has gone great and he has even asked me to be his girlfriend but he never finds time to actually meet. I got mad at him because we couldn’t meet and told him not to talk to me anymore. Should I talk to him or wait?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 7, 2018 at 9:44 pm

      Hi Christine!

      So I think you should wait a spell and draw him to you to see how hard he tries to reach out to you. You will learn something.

  16. Avatar

    Elizabeth M

    April 21, 2018 at 6:49 pm

    Hi Chris,

    It has been 3 months since my ex and I broke up. I did no contact and texted him after 30 days. He quickly responded and we had a short conversation until I ended it. A few days later I texted him again and we had a short conversation again. He all of a sudden stopped responding. Shortly after this, he made his Instagram public (since I had unfollowed him) so that I could see he had posted a picture with a new girl. He was actually on a trip with her when I initially reached out to him after the 30 days. I don’t know why he was responding if he was with her. She also looks almost exactly like me. After seeing this I sent a text saying something like i wish you had enough respect for me to tell me yourself that you are dating someone seriously. He never responded. I waited a couple weeks and texted him a memory text to which he responded, “you had your chance with me and it didn’t work out. Things are going really well with me and (new girl). Out of respect for her and I please move on.” I don’t think the “being there” approach is going to work. Should I even respond at all? I feel like there is no hope anymore.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 21, 2018 at 11:43 pm

      Hiya Elizabeth! Did you know you are an excellent writer! Makes me wonder if you do that as part of you work or if you did a lot of writing in your college/HS years! OK…I digressed! I am sorry he was so mean in his response to you. He could have shown more class. One never knows when another relationship falls into the rebound status. While I am not sure how long the two of you were together as a couple, you have to ask yourself if this is the kind of guy you want to be with in the future. So going forward, just focus on your needs and healing and becoming the best version of yourself. Time will tell just whether he has a spot in your life.

  17. Avatar

    Manli

    March 18, 2018 at 3:07 am

    We initially started fighting beginning of November because i took a text typo and made it a big deal. Things became good then a bigger fight. And things got ugly! Neither of us gave in so things got worse. We did not celebrate our year and half anniversary due to the anger. I was so upset.

    Finally when i was ready to put this past me. Something he was asking for the entire time but i couldn’t forget what was said. All he replied with was he’s glad. He was preoccupied with his friends. Christmas he only sent me one message. In between Christmas and New Years i sent him so many happy loving messages. Called him to and from work like i used to always. No reply. He replied once saying he’s busy with work.

    Right before New Years he tells me he doesn’t have the spark for me anymore. After the fighting and everything. I was devastated. I begged and pleaded but to no avail. I even wrote a heartfelt card and sent a gift because i wanted to show we could still celebrate the holidays and our anniversary still even though it passed. He said he appreciated the card but wished i didn’t send anything because we aren’t together. He told me maybe in the future but now he’d like to be friends.

    I began my first no contact period beginning on January when he failed to inform me of our dinner plans. I tried to see him since December was a hard month he never got back to me. He blew up my phone via text and call the first week. He saw i was reading and not replying since it was through what’s app. He expanded on how much he loved my card. I ended up breaking it and calling him back the end of the week. Still going on about how he wanted to be friends. I said i can’t be your friend but i still tried. Again, it was me reaching out to him and hardly anything from him.

    Began my second no contact 30 day period. He texted me the end of the first week. I didn’t reply or open it immediately. He saw i opened it and kept checking what’s app until he finally deleted the app. I posted a selfie of me with make up on and then my drinks on Snapchat story. He ended up blocking me and his friend deleted me. I was also posting inspirational and relationship quotes on Snapchat so maybe he was tired of that.

    He didn’t contact me again. I texted him after 30 days no reply. Not sure If I’m blocked. I sent him a bday card mid February. He Facebook messaged me saying he appreciated the card and we very briefly chatted. I even left a birthday voicemail. Not sure if it was received it rang normally and then said the number was unavailable beep.

    Then week later i did a good reminder text. I said “do you remember which restaurant we went to before the laker game ? I am hoping to take a friend there.” He wasn’t happy and said he didn’t need to know i was taking “a friend”.

    Then two weeks later I’m doing another good reminder text all i say is “hi! Guess where i just dropped my brother off at!?” Boom! Blocked! No reply.

    He calls me right away and says Look just leave me alone. Leave me alone. Haven’t i told you before?! All i could mutter was ok and yes to the question.

    What does this mean? Why this anger? It’s March now. Last we spoke on the phone in January it was friendly. What do i do now?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 22, 2018 at 6:15 pm

      Hi Manli,

      It looks like he either thinks you’re chasing him or just deliberately making him jealous so, he got pissed. You have to let him initiate and to set a limit on until when you’re going to wait for him to initiate.

  18. Avatar

    Linda Bates

    March 7, 2018 at 7:51 am

    I was a text gnat I was told because he’s introvert just text him so I did and he told it was to much and then we got together and didn’t go all the way he left and I texted him the next day because when left we didn’t say a word to each other he then told me that he don’t want to talk to me anymore and please don’t call or text and he said please don’t

  19. Avatar

    YG

    January 5, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    After about a month of being back with my ex everything was fine but one day we got into a petty argument , it was a miscommunication but I made it worse and then I tried to fix it by telling him I loved him later that day and he told me he doesn’t want to play with my emotions so it’s best we cut all contact …

    But he had been telling me he loved me since we came back into contact and even during the month we were separated ..

    I’m just wondering why ? Did I scare him by saying it ? Or was it just because we were fighting?

    When he told me , I was angry so I told him never to come back into my life again , and then blocked him . He hasn’t tried to reach out . It’s been three days … I’m lost on what to do . We were toghter off and on for three years.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      Hi YG,

      If you’re on and off then that’s it.. He’s used to breaking up with you when it gets hard or stressful.. Check this one:
      How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

  20. Avatar

    SJ

    December 13, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    My ex and I have been broken up for about five months. We first met in April and by the end of the month we were a couple. Things we fine, we went on two dates, and then my parents decided that we had to have a chaperone or be with a group. My ex is older than me and did not like the rules, it was something he was not used to. But we did meet up a few times to see each other. After the breakup, (we dated two months) my ex still flirts with me and checked in on me. But at the time he said that I was not ready to date and we were not getting back together, but he had feelings for me. Then things started to change in September when he made a comment to a friend about hurting me, I asked what he meant by that and he said that his experience would hurt me and that I Should be with someone I can share more with. I was confused and told him that it did not matter what happened in his past we can do things together. I must have said too much, because he didn’t respond to my texts. I asked him about it and he said there was no need to talk about it. I felt like he was blowing me off. At some point he told me that he just wanted to be friends and I was a nice person. We exchanged mean things to one another and stopped talking for three weeks. That was out first fight over text message. In October I wished him Happy Birthday and another week went by. The next week we talked over the weekend via text and I asked to meet up, he said that he was talking to someone and that was not a good idea. Once again we talked about our breakup and how I felt it was unfair that we could not fix out problems and he moved on to someone else. It seemed to finally end. However I was still asking questions and he was getting annoyed with them. After some more texting back and forth, he finally admitted that we should stop talking, because I was not getting over the breakup, as well as ” what are your intentions?’ ” it will be better in the long run”, “he’s not the guy for me”, ” I want to be more than friends and he can’t do that”, ” I’m gonna make someone happy one day”, ” I’m not gonna be your boyfriend”. He did say sorry for hurting me, it was not his intentions. We haven’t talked in a month and I know he has blocked my number, because before he would respond to me but now nothing. Can you break this all down for me? What should I do now?

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