By Chris Seiter

Updated on June 10th, 2021

After a break-up your ex-boyfriend can say all kinds of things and it can be difficult to understand what he means and how you should act afterwards.

One of the most common things an ex might do is tell you not to contact them anymore.

If your ex-boyfriend has said this, then you are probably worrying that he never wants to speak to you again but it is very rare that he ever actually means this.

To help you maximize your chances of getting your ex back this article is going to teach you all about:-

  • The reasons he might ask you not to contact him
  • What you should do to get him talking to you again
  • If he even cares about you.

If your ex-boyfriend has told you never to contact him again then there are a number of reasons why he might say that.

The good news is that this is something your ex tends to say in the heat of the moment and later regrets.

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Reasons he might ask you not to contact him

Alrighty, now we are getting to the meat of the article here.

Below I have compiled four main reasons for why he might ask you not to contact him.


Reason #1: You Were A Text Gnat

What is a Text Gnat?

It is someone who Goes Nuts At Texting!!!

If you bombarded your ex-boyfriend with text messages and phone calls after the breakup, begging him to talk to you and get back together, then you would be considered to be a Text Gnat.

Gnatting your ex to get back together is a fruitless exercise and your ex will have found it incredibly annoying.

If you are still texting your ex-boyfriend asking to get back together or to meet up then you should stop immediately, as you run the risk of getting blocked by phone, email, and social media by your ex if you do not respect his wishes.

Sending endless messages to an ex-boyfriend can also scare the hell out of him. 
Have you ever heard the phrase,

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”?

What this means is that no one is angrier than a woman who has been rejected.
If your ex can see in your messages that you are angry with him for breaking up with you, he knows that unless he brings the situation under control, you have the potential to turn stalker and show up at his house or at his work and wreak major havoc in his life.

If you are Gnatting your ex-boyfriend by sending a lot of text messages or phone calls after the breakup it is likely that your ex will tell you not to contact him anymore as you are both annoying or your behavior scares him.

Reason #2: Pain

It might seem strange that someone breaking up with you will feel pain but it is true.

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When your ex-boyfriend ends the relationship, he is going to experience the same feelings as you do after the breakup. An ex will experience separation anxiety after the breakup and as time goes by he will miss you more and more, because of this he might ask you not to contact him again as it will remind him of you, just as he is trying to move on.

If your ex has been struggling with the breakup he most likely asked you not to contact him because talking to you hurts too much. When an ex is experiencing this kind of pain then he is likely to feel that having a clean break will help him to return to normal quicker.

Reason #3: Anger

Arguments either during or after a breakup can leave your ex-boyfriend feeling extremely angry. When this happens, it is not uncommon for an ex-boyfriend to lash out and demand that you never contact them again.

If your ex does this, he is acting from a place of anger rather than logic and in that moment he is trying to hurt and punish you for the breakup.

Once your ex overcomes his anger in the subsequent days or weeks, he will begin to miss you and regret what he has said. An ex-boyfriend is most likely to act out of anger either mid argument or straight after he receives an unwanted text message from you.

Reason #4: The Other Woman

This reason is definitely the biggest concern amongst subscribers in the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Support Group. I can’t think of any cases across our subscribers where an ex-boyfriend has a new woman and the ex-girlfriend isn’t filled with panic.

If your ex-boyfriend is seeing someone else, then the most likely reason he has asked you not to contact him again is because he has a new girlfriend. 
There are two potential things that would cause an ex-boyfriend to ask that you do not contact them again.

1) When your ex is in a new relationship he will want to respect the other woman, because of this he will ask that you stay away.

2) If his new girlfriend is aware that you are in contact with you ex then she may demand that he stops talking to you.

If your ex has a new girlfriend very soon after your breakup, you should take comfort in the idea that it is probably as rebound and is unlikely to last. Men often enter rebound relationships as a way to distract themselves from the loneliness of being without you. When the new relationship ends your ex will again start to miss you and regret telling you not to contact him anymore.

How To Get Him Back

Now that you understand why your ex-boyfriend might ask you to leave him alone we are going to take a little time to discuss what you can do to win your ex back.

Step One: The No Contact Rule

The best thing you can do when your ex-boyfriend asks you not to contact them anymore is to give him space, just as he asks. Regardless of the reason he is asking, the best course of action is to give him some temporary space for 3-4 weeks.

This short period of silence is called No-Contact and is a temporary measure.

  1. If your ex says this to you when you breakup, you should immediately go into No-Contact.
  2. If your ex says this to you after your No-Contact period, you should do another 3-4 weeks.

During your no contact period you should refrain from all contact with your ex-boyfriend by phone, text, email, social media etc. Use your No-Contact period as an opportunity to work on yourself and become a stronger and better person.

Time is a great healer and your period of No-Contact will help you both. As time goes by the fact your ex has not heard from you in a while will make him miss you. As you have not contacted him, he will wonder if you have moved on, and this will give him a greater desire to chase you.

The other great side effect of the No-Contact period is that its resets your ex-boyfriend’s memories of you as a person. If at the end of your relationship you were a Text Gnat, then having a period of silence with your ex will help you to overcome your ex’s perception of you as needy and annoying.

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Having a period of time where you do not contact your ex-boyfriend, helps him to forget the bad memories of the breakup, and replace them with a feeling of nostalgia for the good times you had together. This can only be achieved if you undertake a period of No-Contact.

There is no need to pre-advice your ex that you are going into No-Contact nor should you feel the need to apologize before you do unless you have done something seriously wrong like cheating.

Step Two: Become The Ungettable Girl

During your No-Contact period you have a golden opportunity to become a better version of yourself.
What could your ex-boyfriend want more than someone they miss?…… Someone they miss who got hotter, smarter, and more popular of course!!!!

This hotter, smarter, more popular version of yourself is what we call The Ungettable Girl.

To become The Ungettable Girl you should focus your efforts on practicing something called The Holy Trinity, which involves dedicating time towards improving your health, wealth and relationships.

Focusing on your health, particularly after a breakup is so important. It is easy to forget your physical and mental wellbeing when a relationship ends. Take time to eat properly, exercise regularly and deal with your emotional issues.

Reflect on what you could do to make yourself feel more confident about your body, perhaps that means losing weight or new haircut. You should do whatever you feel is appropriate to regain your confidence and feel fabulous in your own skin.

Working to improve your health is in your own best interests but it also helps to get your ex’s attention… after all men are visual creatures! I would emphasise though that the kind of beauty that all men love is supported by an inner confidence….

This is why you focus on your mental health as well as your physical looks.

The next area to focus on is wealth. This is particularly crucial if you used to live with your ex or were in a long-distance relationship, as both can leave you in financial hardship.
When trying to improve your wealth you should search for both short and long term solutions.

That can mean, taking on extra hours in your current job, reaching for a promotion or even studying for a qualification that will lead to your dream job.
Another thing you could think about doing is volunteering and undertaking charity work to gain the experience you need to get a better job.

You are probably wondering why wealth is an important area to focus on…… well I’m pretty sure most guys don’t really care about how much money you have. However your ex will care about how independent you are financially as this is seen as an indicator of how needy you are.

The other reason financial independence is important as it increases your value in his eyes because a woman who has freedoms of her own will not date a low quality guy…… He knows you will have more options now! Due to this your ex-boyfriend will want to chase you again.

The final pillar of the Holy Trinity of The Ungettable Girl is relationships.

The Ungettable Girl is a social butterfly, she has amazing relationships with her friends, is fantastic with her family and is always getting asked to go on dates.
During your no contact period you should spend time renewing old friendships, creating new ones, improving your relationship with your family and going on dates.

Take up some new hobbies and interests to meet new people and have subjects to talk about with your ex. Sign up for a dating website, go speed dating, ask your friends to set you up on blind dates.
You may not yet feel like dating new people, however you should actively seek to go on at least two dates before you re-connect with your ex. I recommend this as it will help prevent you from falling back into needy behavior.

Dating other guys will also increase your ex’s desire to chase you due to the Principle of Scarcity, if your ex sees you moving on it will lead him to believe that if he doesn’t act soon his chance will be gone!

On your quest to become the Ungettable girl you should post interesting material to social media.

As you have practiced the No-Contact rule, your ex-boyfriend is likely to start missing you and begin to stalk you on social media to see what you are up to. Take lots of pictures of all the places you are going and people you are meeting and share them on social media for your ex-boyfriend, and any mutual connections to see. In doing so you will ensure your ex sees all the fruits of your hard work to become The Ungettable Girl.

When he sees your photos he will feel jealous of your new life and fear he is missing out…. That fear is going to make him want to be in your life again.

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Step Three: Build Rapport

After your no contact period is over your next step is to start texting your ex to build rapport and later create attraction. To build rapport with your ex you should send a first contact text message, this should be something fun, exciting and interesting so that it grabs your ex’s attention and makes him want to talk to you.

To get some inspiration on what you can text your ex, create two lists.

Places you went together and experiences you shared

His hobbies and interests

Using these lists as a basis for your texting will help to make your message as interesting as possible to him. These lists can be used to generate two types of text.

The first type of text message is the Memory Text which is used to subtly remind your ex of a positive time you spent together. For example you and your ex spent a summer travelling around Germany so you decide to send him the following text.

The second type text is called the Million Dollars Text because it is going to be so unusual and exciting it will be like winning a million dollars. It consists of information your ex is going to want to hear.

What you will notice about both of these text messages is that they are positive, light and low pressure. Your first contact text message should not mention getting back together or meeting up to discuss the breakup, as it is far too soon in the process and will scare your ex away.

Your initial text messages to your ex-boyfriend should be focused on building rapport and establishing positive dialogue that you can later build upon.

You should aim to keep your first texting conversation very brief, no more than perhaps 3-4 texts long. I want you to be the person that ends the conversation, you should try to to do it at a high point as this will leave your ex wanting more.

If you do this successfully it will trigger his desire to chase you in later interactions.

The purpose of the first contact text message is to simply remind your ex that you exist, that you are thriving and happy without him and indicate that it is safe to talk; in doing so you will pique your ex-boyfriends interest to want to converse more.
If your ex doesn’t reply to your text, stay calm and try again in 7-10 day’s time.

If your ex tells you to go away, wait a month.

Winning your ex back will take time, you will use numerous texts and phone calls and face to face meetings in the process to get your ex-boyfriend back.

You will need to exercise restraint and patience to be successful.

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Step Four: Being There

If your ex-boyfriend is in a new relationship then you are going to have to practice something called the “Being There” method after your period of no contact.
The Being There method is a way to stay present and relevant in your ex-boyfriends life until his new relationship naturally comes to an end.

You are NOT trying to actively break them up so you should maintain respectful boundaries with your ex-boyfriend.

By being friendly with your ex you are going to allow his new girlfriends jealousy to eventually break them up. I don’t believe there are any girlfriends who would be happy with their guy staying in touch with his ex so the fact you are “being there” will put strain on their relationship.

Your objective with the Being There method is to be a constant presence in your ex’s life, all the time reminding him of how great you are and how you are a better option than the other woman….. you will find this much easier if you are really working hard to maintain your Ungettable Girl status!


Whether your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend or is simply going through an emotional rollercoaster after the breakup it is always worth remembering that requests to leave him alone are usually said in the heat of the moment and are generally temporary.

Your strongest position to win your ex back at this moment is silence and no-contact, give your ex exactly what he is asking for right now. In doing so you are respecting his wishes, giving him space to regret his decision and allowing yourself time to heal and become the Ungettable Girl.

Winning your ex back is a journey that requires patience, you cannot go from zero to hero overnight in the eyes of your ex-boyfriend. Composure and positivity will go a long way towards helping you to re-establish a connection with your ex, this will lay a strong foundation to build attraction later so as you can work towards getting back together.

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112 thoughts on “My Ex Boyfriend Told Me Not To Contact Him Anymore”

  1. Taylor

    May 13, 2022 at 2:45 pm

    He told me to never contact him again. I contacted him and he simply ignored me. Not once, more than once. I will give him what he wants. I’ll stay away as if he never knew me. It hurts so much to force my heart to let go. I love him but he cares nothing for me. I can no longer put myself through that pain. I give up for he has given up on me

  2. Sss

    December 6, 2021 at 9:48 am

    He told me he gave up with me and not to contact with him again. He blocked me on everywhere. I can only email him. He used to do the same thing whenever we argue except not to contact again thing. And i was emailing him to talk with him, then he was unblocking me on everywhere, but this time he told me not to contact with him again and we haven’t talked for 2 days. I love him so much, and i know he loves me too. I want to talk with him, but i can’t find enough courage anymore. Also, even if we talk, he will tell me the same things again and we will fight 3 days later. I don’t know what to do. I keep crying since he left. I know i have to be strong, but i can’t do it. Whenever i go to the grocery, i see the things he likes. He likes latte, but i hate latte. Even if i don’t like latte, i got it because it reminded me him. I hate this. I tried to forget him. My friends told me my pain will decrease, but I’m worse than yesterday. Loving someone shouldn’t be that much painful. I just believed his words to be together forever. I just can’t stand my life like that. I don’t know what to do.

  3. Katherine

    October 28, 2021 at 6:59 am

    Hi my ex is an avoidant, we were together for 3 months fully dating then another 9 months just ‘ not dating ‘ but ‘ together’ he then wanted a relationship, he posted on Facebook we were together then 5 days later he broke things off saying the relationship is not good for him, he needs to heal, etc… and he blocked me in all social media. I went to his house, sent emails, a letter and he said for me to not force contact and let him heal. This was about 5 weeks ago. Since then, I never reached out and neither him.
    I’m 10 years older than him. Can you help?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 16, 2022 at 9:51 pm

      Hey Katherine, so I would say that you need to spend quite some time in your no contact period and understand that you have put a lot of pressure on your ex and the situation by reaching out and going to his place. He is going to see you as overbearing and needy. You need to now pull back. A minimum of 60 days NC before you attempt to speak to your ex again, even then you need to speak very light hearted short conversation.

  4. Clare Armstrong

    July 20, 2021 at 9:00 am

    My ex left me 3 weeks ago after 8 1/2 years together. He’s told me he’s moved on and to have no contact with him and told me do not try and win me back. Now says he doesn’t love me anymore. He keeps sending me texts. Told me he still cared for me. He changes his mind like the wind, one min he wants to try again and the next he wants to be alone. I found out he’s on a dating site after only 3 weeks of moving back to his mum’s house. I still love him and he knows this but is now blaming me for his depression.

  5. Anonymous

    November 30, 2020 at 8:27 pm

    Hi, so I have been reading numerous articles on here and trying to take some of the advice, but I feel like I am in a very weird and unique situation with mine. None of them quite in the nail on the head.

    We had been talking for a long time but we were always at some type of distance, as we lived a few hours apart but are also both military. We got into an argument before he deployed last year, and I used the no contact then sent him a message for the holidays and we started talking again. On his transition back home we stopped talking again, he says he was going through some things, but eventually called me up and we tried again to make it work. After this last argument, he ghosted me for a few months…but then we started talking a 3rd time. This time, he will talk but all he says is that he is not a good person, that he has nothing to offer me, and that I should forget about him. He also told me that he did want to see me again, but that he was being selfish to want that. I have no idea what to think about his words and actions, as he is giving me mixed signals.
    I am not sure the best way to approach the current situation as I feel it is quite fragile. Do I show him I can live without him? or be there for him?
    He does not have social media for me to use as a tool and we live too far apart to have mutual friends.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2020 at 8:44 pm

      Hey there, so I undertsand it is hard when he does not use social media. But I would suggest that you still use yours to show you living your life and being happy as he is going to get curious about you and maybe ask friends to search for you. So make sure anything you put up that you want him to see, is public just so that he can feel like he is on the outside looking in. As you are aware you need to do a solid period of No Contact (30days) where your focus is just on you and being happy. Working towards being your best version of yourself, be sure that you read some of the texting articles to help you understand the types of messages you need to use to reach out to your ex.

  6. Brenda

    November 27, 2020 at 9:01 pm

    My ex and I broke up four months ago,few weeks i saw him with another lady it’s hurts because am carrying his child he told me to leave his life what should I do please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2020 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Brenda, you need to think about yourself and the baby right now and do what is best for you!! Follow the no contact rule for 45 days, if he wants to be involved with the baby then you need to follow the rules of Limited no contact. Read the articles that involve the being there method so that you understand what it is you need to do after your NC is over.

  7. Li

    October 15, 2020 at 7:06 am

    Hello there!
    . We were having an fight argument through the phone , which we both said things that heart each other feelings and then he told me something like screw off and asked never contact him again and hang up the phone.
    It was a week ago. In another week he will have a birthday. I did not talked to him by now. Should I text him happy birthday?
    I’m still mad and very hurt because he is the one that didn’t talk in a respectful way ,and I feel that he should apologize before we are able to discuss on things ,but also I want him to know that I still care. ,even that he might to think that I don’t, because the things that I have said when we were arguing. I want him to know that I care but I also don’t want to lose his respect for me and think that this is ok to talk to me like that. What I do please advise me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 15, 2020 at 5:19 pm

      Hi Li, no do not reach out for birthday messages if you are in no contact

  8. Ck

    August 9, 2020 at 10:47 am

    He broke up with me 5 months ago . I used to talk to him right after the breakup and then i used no contact for one month and after that we started to talk again . Everything was good and also his actions was proving me that he still loved me and want me back . But one night as we were talking we bumped into a fight …he got angry and told me not to contact him ever again ..and also that he will never look back on me…..i tried to contact him but he ignored me and he is also showing that he is very happy on social media…. what do i do now ?
    Is he really doesn’t want me now..??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 11, 2020 at 6:49 pm

      Hi CK, it sounds as if the fight has pushed him into thinking he was right to end things. You need to spend some time about how to communicate when in a relationship so that you do not have arguments. I would also suggest that you go into a second 30 day no contact as you have tried to contact him and he has ignored you, think of it as a re set button.

  9. Candace

    July 15, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    We broke up on the 3rd of may but after a little bit we reconciled. Only to rebreak up on the 28th of May. I then initiated the no contact and successfully completed it after initially being a texting gnat before. He didnt attempt to reach out at any point during the 38 days of silence. When I messaged him, he didn’t give me a response. I could see that he had read it so i waited a little over a week and sent another asking for his help with an issue. (Damsel in distress message I had read about) He did reply to this one but he told me “you can stop messaging me, thanks.” We were together for nearly four years and it’s been slightly long distance for the last two years. He’s 22 and I’m 23. He lives about 2 and a half hours away now. Our anniversary would have been this month and I feel like my window of opportunity is closing. What do I do now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 7, 2020 at 9:33 pm

      Hey Candace, so you need to work on the Ungettable information so that you can show your ex that you are living your life and moving on. And when you use social media and his mutual friends see how great you are doing this is how he is going to be more interested in speaking with you. You can also start dating casually so that it shows you are “moving on”

  10. Lily

    July 8, 2020 at 2:56 am


    I have known my ex since 2009 when he and I were first introduced by his sister whom I worked with at my office. Since 2009, we had maintained a budding friendship and I always felt he was my confidant. We got into a silly argument in 2014 and I stopped communication with him cold turkey. Two years would go by and he was the one who reached out during the two years. Finally started speaking to him towards the end of 2016. We met up with each other in his home state in 2017 and things seemed to blossom. Long story short, we hooked up and began getting involved. By the end of 2017, I moved into his space and we fought for some time. But because I now reside in the same state as him, we have hung out and done so much together. I think we grew closer this past year and earlier this year, it seemed like this were really great.

    Then, we get into this argument about how me and his best friend were the only women in his life that he could see himself with, which aggravated me as he’s never had any intimate relations with this person. We argued about it, which led him to almost cut me off completely but somehow I managed to diffuse the situation and we were back to normal. At the time he was paying for one of my classes and he stopped when we got into an argument. We made up a few days later. A week ago, in the middle of telling me how he is happy for me that I was making great strides in my career and setting goals. But for some reason, I unnecessarily bring up the lack of his support for ending the payment on my class. Not realizing the full gravity of the situation, he was immediately angered that I had even brought this situation up as he just forgave me for the previous argument. He said he couldn’t believe I would bring that up and he said I did not respect him as well as he said I should let him live his life and I should live mine….to leave him alone and never contact him ever again. However, for someone who wants me out of his life completely, he still has me connected as a friend on facebook. Mind you, in a previous fight I had with him about a year ago, he deleted me from facebook altogether. I find it interesting he’s posting everyday since we stopped talking and yes, I messaged him my apology the same day we fought and days later, I said ‘hi, how are you?’ but he didn’t respond.

    He was more than just a significant other to me. He was my best friend for over 10 years. I feel like maybe I lost him not just as a significant other but also my closest and dearest friend. I am beside myself. Not sure how to go from here other than focusing on my job and finishing out my classes. I work out 3x a week and I even started painting again after I was feeling down.

    Do I have a chance with him again? Did I really lose my best friend? Feeling unsure and lost at this moment.


    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 4, 2020 at 3:58 pm

      Hi Lily, I would say that following the program is going to give you your best chance at getting him back, but it will start with you spending some time focusing on yourself (No Contact period) and working on the holy trinity. Read as many articles that apply to your situation to help you understand each stage of the program too

  11. C

    June 29, 2020 at 7:40 am


    I was with my ex for nearly 2 years. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying he is very stressed with the relationship and he needs to work on himself. He’s 27 and I’m 24 and I feel I’ve always helped him when he says he’s stressed. I’ve helped him find his current 9-5 job and I’m always willing to go through things together. He says he needs to look after his family which he finds stressful and he’s not where he wants to be in life etc, and we argue too much and we’re always breaking up and getting back together (for a max of 1/2 days nothing serious). The last few weeks before he broke it off we were going through a rough patch and I tried to end it for good he told me he still wants me.

    The first week of the breakup we were kind of contacting but more from my side. The second week I started no contact and 2 days later the messaged me randomly about football and we spoke for a a few days. But I called him and told him I can’t be his friend and if he can stop contacting me. I still love him though and I told him over the phone he said he loved me too but his head is telling him our future will be too stressful for him. Because I said he should stop trying to be my friend I’m scared I have lost him and he won’t come back? what should I do ??

    Thank you , C

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 26, 2020 at 9:29 am

      Hi C, you were right to tell him to stop trying to be your friend, because at this moment in time you want more than that. But it is good to know that he will be open to talking to you after your No Contact period where you need to start building your connection with him again and build rapport. Complete a 30 day NC and work on yourself then start reaching out with texts that Chris suggests in his articles

  12. S

    June 2, 2020 at 4:41 pm


    I am 32 years old and started dating a single dad last year November. I adored the child. We were also long distance and would see each other every other week. Often during the relationship I would say am not happy with him as I couldn’t cope with the fact that he was not making me a priority or even travelling to see me. I would often be the one travelling to see him. So we dated for about 5 months – I kinda said I didn’t want to continue with the relationship as I was feeling alone and single as I felt he stopped investing. He agreed and said yes let’s break up that happened on the 18/19th of March. I spoke to him on the phone and he made up literally after 2 days. I travelled to see him and stayed for 3-4 days. During these days I cooked cleaned and looked after him when he come back from work. I was working from home. On the 4th day he kinda ask me to go home and I couldn’t understand his point. He said because he is exposed to the virus he didn’t want to be around me so I asked whether his son was coming over and he confirmed he was and I was like it’s the same thing and said if he gets the virus I would be there to look after him whilst he self isolate. Well one thing led to another and found out that he was calling a work colleague Baby and questioned it. He said it was nothing and she had a bf etc. I wasn’t really concerned about that if I am honest.

    On the 28th of March we asked me to leave his house and acted cruelly whilst we argued- he said my family and I were putting to kick pressure on him to get married. So I was very upset I cried he didn’t even care and I kept saying we can work on things etc. So he dropped me to my place and said he didn’t really loved me. He said it wasn’t working between us and that we wanted different things etc. I was so upset. I gave him a few days and started ringing him and texting him for a few days. He texted my sister to ask her to tell me he will have to take actions if I continue to harass him- he is a police officer- full of nonsense. Lol. I was so heartbroken. I lost him and his child. I loved them both so much. Weeks later(end of April I sent him a letter) asking if we could be friends and he never responded and I then emailed he contacted my sister again asking for me to stop contacting him. So I did. I haven’t been in contact him. I went back on the dating up we used and he saw my profile and then deleted his. At first I thought he found someone, then I realised he was on another one we were both on but I blocked him so he can’t see me. I can see him. It’s now been 9 weeks since we broke up- I know he is actively looking for someone as he is on the dating site almost everyday. I also recalled him saying how it was hard to find me as he is a single dad and has his son around a lot and his job is so demanding. He didn’t have much time to devote to gf etc because I was long distance it was easier – 4 hrs drive. . I love him so much and I love his child. I pictured him as the man I would marry one day. Is there any chance of reconciliation? If I am honest I don’t want to contact him again and would rather he contacted me first. I have been chatting to guys etc but I can’t move on. I just can’t see myself with anyone else. I wake up some days feeling so depressed as he is the love of my life. Please Help me. I dream of him almost every night. It’s so upsetting when I wake up.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 13, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      Hi S, the first and most important thing you do is look after yourself and focus on getting through your grief from the break up. You need to spend some time working on your Holy Trinity and being Ungettable. This is going to help you find your strength and finding your best self. Stick with a solid No Contact for at least 30 days. You need to regain you happiness while single, before getting into ANY relationship again

  13. Veronica

    May 17, 2020 at 9:18 pm

    Hi. Please tell me if the same principles are available if me and the guy were not even in a relationship (because he is not doing them), we were together just for fun and sex, but I started feeling more and he pulled back (but the reason for “breakup” is not even this one, it was something that I said and he misinterpret) and told me to not contact him anymore (this was 4 days ago). I understood and stopped begging and all texts.
    Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:21 pm

      Hi Veronia, the same applies if you want to try and get him back yes, but you need to be sure that you do not allow a casual relationship to form again. Friends with benefits is difficult to change into a relationship. Work on your Holy Trinity and work to become Ungettable and show your ex what he has lost

  14. Anushka Dutta

    March 13, 2020 at 3:21 am

    We likely broke up 3 months ago. He was the one ending up stuffs. Though we were in love for about 3-4 years. He stays away. Idk if he’s got someone else or not ..but I tried the no contact and deactivated all the social medias cause I was nearly depressed so I wanted to stay out of it for some days. Later I got a text from him on whatsapp which is the first time he texted me on that cause we had never spoken on that whatsapp since the beginning. He wished me “happy Holi” at noon and I responded “same to you” at night as I was busy. Later the next day, I asked, ” is is the place in Xyz ” all he replied is just a “no”

    Idk why he does that. I really love him and I was angry so I deleted his chats without making a “seen” on WhatsApp. I really love him..I wanted to initiate the convo but..he seems so the hell distant ..just before the breakup..what to do ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 20, 2020 at 9:26 pm

      Hi Anushka, it sound as if you need to do a No Contact for 30 days and work on yourself in that time. Give your ex some space and focus on your Holy Trinity.

  15. Belle

    February 4, 2020 at 12:23 am

    Ex bf from ldr and I broke up in November. He immediately started dating another girl. We didn’t speak for a while. He texted me on New Year’s Day. No response afterward so I waited a full thirty days and have continued to post fun posts on fb and workout and better myself. I went ahead and used one of the suggested texts, he asked me to never contact him again and said I was annoying. Do I just let go at this point? I feel absolutely crushed

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 4, 2020 at 10:01 pm

      Hi Belle, you need to read the Ungettable post and the being there method so that you can understand how to reattract an ex and make them start looking at you in a different light

  16. Nay

    January 5, 2020 at 5:51 pm

    So me and my ex been together together for over a year and we broke up about 3 months ago when he found out I cheated on him when he was Incarcerated but we been in contact ever since But he told me to move on because he Have. New girlfriend we recently met up and Slept together but we got into a big argument and he said never contact him again What should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 5, 2020 at 11:04 pm

      Hey Nay, so you start with a No Contact and reach out following the being there method if he is still with the girlfriend at the end of your No Contact. Do not sleep with him again unless you are in a relationship though. Assess also what made you cheat at the time, if the relationship can work

  17. Kathleen

    January 4, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    I was blocked by my ex for a day after an argument we had over him telling me that I had low standards. I was pretty upset by this that I blocked him as well and told him to not speak to me again. I unblocked him the day after cause I wanted to leave him an apology for the way I acted because that’s the kind of person I am. I called him first to see if I was blocked (it didn’t go straight to voicemail) and I was unblocked already, so I texted him an apology for the way I acted. An hour later he calls me through Facebook (Cause he thought he was blocked) and calls my phone. Sadly, I did pick up because he hates it when I don’t answer. He asked if I called him and I just told him that it might have been an accident (obviously not), so he asked me why I called and I told him to read the text whenever he had the chance, but he couldn’t at the time so I apologized on the phone. He told me that he wanted to not contact/see me for a while and I said the same back, and he said that it’s hard cause he’ll miss me, etc. He also said that we didn’t need to tell our friends we broke up cause they’ll get the the end he ended with saying best wishes to me and I said the same back and said bye… I know it’s time to do the no contact rule, but I’m having doubts.. what if he does move on?
    We were in a 5 year relationship and I was engaged, but he ended things.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 5, 2020 at 1:19 am

      Hey Kathleen, so you definitely need to do a no contact and you do not need to worry about him moving on that fast as you were in a long term relationship anyone he met now would be a rebound. Work on yourself during the no contact and get over the break up, look at why you broke up and what you can do on your part to make changes so that it would not happen another time

  18. Prerana Singh

    January 2, 2020 at 8:44 am

    We had a breakup today on (2jaunary 2020) and I was in a long distance relationship, the reason was that I had hurt him badly by asking some people on social media about him(were his friends) and he’s famous and working,now they’re seeing him in a wrong way, I apologized to those people saying if was my misunderstanding, and to him also,but he was very angry and said many things,like,’go away’ ‘you were the biggest mistake of my life’, and when I asked, would it be possible for us to come together in the future, he said,’NO,NEVER YOU AGAIN,’,etc, I don’t know what to do,☹️, are there still chanches?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 1:33 am

      Hey there, so you need to go into a No contact to give your ex space and allow emotions to calm down, if you want your ex back then following this program is going to give you, your best chance, but doing so you have to make sure that you are putting the work in and reading the materials

  19. rosecabe

    November 12, 2019 at 8:37 am


    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 12, 2019 at 7:43 pm

      Hi Rosecabe, you need to read about the being there method. You also need to ask yourself why he doesnt want you to reach out for a month as you need to make him aware of the fact you are not talking to him. You need to do 45 days No Contact

  20. Kylie

    August 16, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    What happens when he tells me that he will always love me and I will always have a piece of his heart when we broke up? Then after 3 days of trying to talk to him he ignores me. I didnt contact him for a week. Then i messaged him and he told me to move on like he has and to delete everything?

    Does no contact even work after that?

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