Have you ever been talking to someone and literally thought to yourself,
This person is so annoying
All you want to do is leave an never talk to that person again.
But lets change the script up a little and pretend that you desperately want your ex back but he finds you so annoying that he wants nothing to do with you. Not a really great position to be in, huh?
Well, that’s a position that Sydney has found herself in as she believes she was too much of a text gnat and scared her ex boyfriend away.
No worries Sydney, help is on the way!
But first, there is something very important I’d like to talk to you about.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizHow To Get Featured On The Podcast
If you didn’t already know one thing that I like to do with my podcast is field listener questions and answer them in an in-depth manner but I have never really stopped to explain how I choose the listener questions.
Click Here To Record A Question
Basically there are three things I am looking for when I pick a question to answer.
THING #1: It has to interest me
I feel like sometimes my entire life revolves around answering breakup questions and sometimes it can get a bit dull. So, one thing I look for when asking a question is if it interests me or not.
Asking a basic question like, “Should I break the no contact rule?” isn’t going to cut it.
With this episode I remember taking Sydneys question and thinking,
Wow, I don’t think I’ve talked about this on the podcast before. I am going to pick it.
That, plus she also met the other three requirements.
THING #2: I have to understand the person asking the question.
One thing that makes it difficult to choose a question sometimes is the fact that I can’t really understand the person. Sometimes they have a thick accent that I can’t pick out and other times they literally call in using a different language (true story.)
It becomes increasingly difficult to pick a question out like that, just saying!
THING #3: A clear connection
Sometimes someone will call in and I can understand them and their question is interesting but their connection is kind of bad. Either I can only hear every third word or I can hear a construction crew outside hammering away.
But enough about that. Lets get down to business now and talk about what I cover in todays episode.
What I Talk About In Todays Episode
- What it takes for me to choose a question and record an episode about it.
- What is going to happen if your ex blocks you
- What I see happening a lot of times if they block you
- Figuring out how to adapt when things don’t go your way
- What to do if you became a “gnat” and annoyed him
Merissa Spenski
March 26, 2023 at 12:33 am
My ex bf Keegan dumped me in February and then sometime this month he told me he needed me and loved me but then told me it’s over with between us, I want him back and start things over with me
Mayah
October 29, 2019 at 2:51 am
Hi how can i get my ex back he broke up with me but i didn’t know my friends had to tell me bc he started ghosting me the i texted him saying i’m really sry for making u feel this way can we still be friends or bestfriend which ever u feel comfertable he ghosted me that was the last time i texted i texted him today bc he was teasing my friend and it make her feel bad so i confrented him and told him pls don’t talk about her like that the he replied Is this Ariel?
Message byMy ex: If it is stop playing, Monday, October 28 2019, 7:05 PM
If it is stop playing
Message by my ex: Because your annoying me, Monday, October 28 2019, 7:05 PM
Because your annoying me
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 30, 2019 at 1:30 pm
Hi Mayah you need to give your ex some space and ignore him for 30 days then reach out as a friend and no accusations and arguing. If he ended things by ghosting you this is a lack of respect for you so I would also consider his maturity when you revisit speaking with him
G
October 26, 2018 at 10:43 pm
My ex partner of 3 and half years broke up with 4months ago. He ended things over a message and told me we could still be friends and I tryed been friends for about a month askin could I see him and he blocked me. So after 3 weeks of been blocked I went too his neighbor hood and we talked and he unblocked me and asked me to leave him alone for awhile he gave me false hope again for friends , then after 2 weeks I begged him again and he blocked me and I contacted him on another phone saying I was going down to his neighbor hood if he didn’t talk and then I said sorry too him then I promised him I would cool it I did for 8 weeks and I asked him too meet up for a coffee and he asked too go eating and then after a few days he said he’s plans changed I didn’t care about he’s plans changing but I asked him for closure and he said it was just harresment and he didn’t give me proper closure but some and we kind of got our mums involved but this time he doesn’t have me blocked ? I just want too be friends with him I just want to talk to him I still care about him
Chris Seiter
October 26, 2018 at 11:42 pm
Hi G!
3+ years in a relationship creates some traction and that should help you down the road. Though clearly, ending the relationship on a text was really bad form by your ex. How long have you done full out NC?
Na
January 26, 2018 at 1:47 pm
i have an urgent situation please assist me,
My ex broke up with me two months back i applied no contact rule we are working together and few days back i hear from his friends that he was crying and he is missing me i sent to him text that i remember this movie that we saw together he replied that he misses me we have talked twice at work he told me that he still missing me and loves me but he can’t be in a relationship we arranged a date to talk then he canceled our date and text me that he promises he will make me happy t… unfortunately i rushed my feelings and he text me that he can’t be in a relationship i was so angry and said that i don’t want him back and to forget me .. he read my messages with no reply .. We have talked 2days back he said that he is confused sometimes he feels he is in love with me sometimes he feels that he doesn’t want me back Ana. He knows that i’m so beautiful and any man would like to be with me but he can’t be with me as he isn’t sure of his feelings and he is afraid to leave me again.. I feel that he likes a girl with us in work I feel pain in my heart that if he. Entered this relationship and be with her every day infront of me please help me i’m dying inside
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 29, 2018 at 12:00 pm
Hi Nada,
check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Says He Misses Me But Doesn’t Want To Get Back Together
Alexis
January 9, 2018 at 6:46 am
My boyfriend and I have been on and off a lot. We fight a lot because he has insecurities and issues. We are both in AA together so we often bump into eachother at meetings. I always stick by him thru his ups and downs becajss we have a mutual understanding of each others issues and we know that we constantly work on ourselves thru the fellowship. We’ve been together 10 months we were so Inlove even thru all of our ups and downs we always got back together… anytime I’d leave he’d call one after another begging me and then when he would leave me I started begging and crying and I showed a weakness way too much were it pushed him away. This time he broke up with me and told me there’s no more hope that he doesn’t ever want to get back with me this time… I have never gone more then 4 days without contact. I started NC 9 days ago haven’t heard a word from him… seen him at a meeting tonight we didn’t even look at eachother or speak. Do you think he will ever contact me again? I am so scared he won’t . The last time we broke up he contacted me on that 4th day saying he misses me so much. Will he ever call & if so when do you think ? When will I know I should give up? By when? If I haven’t heard from him? He blocked me since the break up but that isn’t new either. We’ve blocked eachother during arguments and small break up threats and then called eachother back unknown to get through, blocking never stopped us from getting thru but he hasn’t unblocked me in 10 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 10, 2018 at 8:27 pm
Hi Alexis,
check this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex
Vicky
December 27, 2017 at 6:34 pm
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Initially he told me he was unsure whether he wanted a relationship and needed time to think, at first he was lovely, reassuring me he still cares for me it was just a case of timing and wanted to stay in contacts whilst he figured things out. But I pressured him into making decision, the more I text the more annoyed he got and ended things. Initially I tried to change his mind and eventually he stopped responding to me. I started NC 2 weeks ago. Today he deleted me off all social media, I tried to talk to him but he read my messages and did not respond. I don’t know what this means and what I should do about it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2017 at 1:25 am
Hi Vicky,
He regained his power over you by not responding…. Restart nc, stick to it, be active in posting..just make them public..
Alyna
December 14, 2017 at 11:32 pm
Hi, please help me!! I am currently in the Texting Phase and after NC and it started very well and he was responding positively but all of sudden he started giving neutral responses… and then none at all. I tried texting very interesting things that I know he likes, but still no answer. Should I try No Contact again? or in how many days should I try?And what type of text? We were texting like 6 days in a row with two intentionally blank days… I initiated all conversations but he was answering to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2017 at 5:05 pm
Hi Alyna,
check this one:
The Stages of Not Getting a Text Back From Your Ex and How to Survive Them
Little Lady
December 13, 2017 at 10:08 pm
Hello Amor,
thanks so much for your reply!!
The thing that is confusing me (and driving me into gnatting I guess…) is that he does not show the same unresponsiveness in other domains than texting… for example, we had met for a coffee week before and had a very nice, funny and harmonious 2hrs chat… the very monday after that very we (where this text conversation happened) he wrote me an email, as if nothing had happened, saying he had booked the hotel for the two of us for the next conference (we work together, I never have sex with him at conferences, though, I try to seperate work and private).
He is acting very neutral towards me. I have the impression, though, that also just the fact that he does not like texting and does not text with anyone else might play a role.
In any case, thank you all so so much for your great work!!!
And sorry for the double posts, things disappeared and reappeared somehow… 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2017 at 3:49 pm
that’s ok.. can be.. but still wait a week before trying anything else than texting..
cambell
December 13, 2017 at 4:16 pm
ok amor then how do i? i have read every article and need help coming up with a set plan. please help me i want him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2017 at 12:17 pm
The proper way is to accept he has moved on, do nc, be active in improving yourself and in posting, and then initiating contact, do the being there method while you continue what you were doing during nc
cambell
December 11, 2017 at 3:37 pm
i don’t know what to do and i am completely lost. it has been 3 months since he broke up with me and he has moved on. i don’t know what to do. i know it’s worth it and that our relationship was special, everyone around us did too. i want to try no contact but i don’t think it will work. he is going to ask her out on christmas so i still have time. i am so desperate and lost i have no idea what to do. i have read all the articles and just want him back. please help me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2017 at 1:16 am
Hi Campbell,
If he has moved on, chasing him is not going to help you get him back..
LittleLady
December 11, 2017 at 1:34 pm
Hello.
So I tried to resume texting a couple of weeks ago. he was not the most communicative person ever, even when we were dating (he once said I was the only person he replied to, at all…) Him ghosting or not replying was not an uncommon thing, even back then. Now I keep having even more troubles squeezing a reply out of him or getting him engaged… When exactly do I get annoying, turn into a stalker or the famous text gnat?? I’ll post an example of texting this weekend below. Any ideas? I tried my best to hit on topics he likes, be funny an upbeat….
Any help would be greatly appreciated!! thank you!!
Saturday:
[10:59, 12/9/2017] Me: Hahahaha look what I found in my advent calendar this morning!!!
*photo* What do u think, any chance I end up bulky ??
Did u manage to reincorporate going to the gym into ur busy schedule? How many times per week do you u go now (ideally) ?
[11:27, 12/9/2017] Him: Hi. Regarding the sock, thanks again. It fits mostly well, but the heel is a bit too large.
I resumed the gym yesterday. I will try to go back to three times a week.
[11:29, 12/9/2017] Me: Ah, cool! Finishing a day with some physical exercise helps so so much to maintain sanity doesn’t it, Physical & mental
(he ghosted…)
[13:45, 12/9/2017] Me: Haha did I mention that there’s a free gym & yoga studio in my house? Not big but very convenient, just down the corridor.
I’ll send a picture next time I go. Ur the pro, what’s ur favourite exercise??
Sunday:
[16:45, 12/10/2017] Me: look at this gem I spotted
I found this funny and curious, look: *photo*
They seem to be somewhat afraid of it tho?!! Or is this a common thing ??
Oh dear now I’m laughing at my own joke…
And I’m waiting for ur indignant comment “that’s not right, that’s not how any of this works” …
(no reply…)
[21:40, 12/10/2017] Me: Huhu u still there?? U have a second?
I just came home and I don’t know why, when I opened my fridge I thought of the.best.pun.ever. concerning this thing I would love to tell u but u’d have to play along
(no reply…)
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2017 at 1:03 am
Hi Little Lady,
You’re gnatting him, those would have been good topics but once you get a neutral or negative or no reply, you should wait a week before trying again.. but since you kept texting him for two days, I think you should wait two weeks, if he’s still like that, it means you need to move on..
LittleLady
December 11, 2017 at 10:48 am
Hello.
So I tried to resume texting a couple of weeks ago. he was not the most communicative person ever, even when we where dating (he once said i was the only person he replied to, at all…) Him ghosting or not replying was not an uncommon thing, even back then. No I keep having even more troubles squeezing a reply out of him or getting him engaged… When exactly do I get annoying, turn into a stalker or the famous text gnat?? I’ll post an example of texting this weekend below. Any ideas? I tried my best to hit on topics he likes, be funny an upbeat….
Any help would be greatly appreciated!! thank you!!
Saturday:
[10:59, 12/9/2017] Me: Hahahaha look what I found in my advent calendar this morning!!!
*photo* What do u think, any chance I end up bulky ??
Did u manage to reincorporate going to the gym into ur busy schedule? How many times per week do you u go now (ideally) ?
[11:27, 12/9/2017] Him: Hi. Regarding the sock, thanks again. It fits mostly well, but the heel is a bit too large.
I resumed the gym yesterday. I will try to go back to three time a week.
[11:29, 12/9/2017] Me: Ah, cool! Finishing a day with some physical exercise helps so so much to maintain sanity doesn’t it, Physical & mental
(he ghosted…)
[13:45, 12/9/2017] Me: Haha did I mention that there’s a free gym & yoga studio in my house? Not big but very convenient, just down the corridor.
I’ll send a picture next time I go. Ur the pro, what’s ur favourite excercise??
Sunday:
[16:45, 12/10/2017] Me: look at this gem I spotted!
I found this funny and curious, look: *photo*
They seem to be somewhat afraid of it tho?!! Or is this a common thing ??
Oh dear now I’m laughing at my own joke…
And I’m waiting for ur indignant comment “that’s not right, that’s not how any of this works” …
(no reply…)
[21:40, 12/10/2017] Me: Huhu u still there?? U have a scnd?
I just came home and I don’t know why, when I opened my fridge I thought of the.best.pun.ever. concerning this thing I would love to tell u but u’d have to play along
(no reply…)
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2017 at 1:03 am
Hi Little Lady,
You’re gnatting him, those would have been good topics but once you get a neutral or negative or no reply, you should wait a week before trying again.. but since you kept texting him for two days, I think you should wait two weeks, if he’s still like that, it means you need to move on..
LittleLady
December 11, 2017 at 10:19 am
Hello.
I tried starting to text him a couple of weeks ago. He’s never been very communicative, also when we were dating. Not replying or ghosting was not an uncommon thing, even back then. Now I’m having an even harder time squeezing a response out of him and getting him engaged. I’m wondering: when exactly do I turn into a stalker/ text gnat? I’ll post an example how texting this weekend went below. Maybe you have any ideas? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!! Thank you so so much for your awesome work!!
Saturday:
11:27:
Me: Hahahaha look what I found in my advent calendar this morning!!! *photo*
What do u think, any chance I end up bulky ??
Did u manage to reincorporate going to the gym into ur busy schedule? How many times per week do you u go now (ideally) ?
11:28:
Him: Hi.Regarding the sock, thanks again. It fits mostly well, but the heel is a bit too large.
I resumed the gym yesterday. I will try to go back to three time a week.
11:30:
Me: Ah, cool! Finishing a day with some physical exercise helps so so much to maintain sanity doesn’t it, physical & mental 🙂
(he ghosted…)
13:45:
Me: Haha did I mention that there’s a free gym & yoga studio in my house? Not big but very convenient, just down the corridor.
I’ll send a picture next time I go. Ur the pro, what’s ur favourite exercise??
(no reply…)
Sunday:
16:45:
Me: look at this gem I spotted (specialbuys catalogue @aldi here )
I found this funny and curious, look: *photo*
The Brits seem to be somewhat afraid of it, it’s adults only ??!!
Or is this a common thing that u must be over 18 to purchase this??
Oh dear now I’m laughing at my own joke…
And I’m waiting for ur indignant comment “that’s not right, that’s not how any of this works”… 😉
(no reply…)
21:40:
Me: Huhu u still there?? U have a scnd?
I just came home and I don’t know why, when I opened my fridge I thought of the.best.pun.ever. concerning this thing, I would love to tell u but u’d have to play along 😉
(no reply…)
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2017 at 1:03 am
Hi Little Lady,
You’re gnatting him, those would have been good topics but once you get a neutral or negative or no reply, you should wait a week before trying again.. but since you kept texting him for two days, I think you should wait two weeks, if he’s still like that, it means you need to move on..
amy
December 6, 2017 at 7:07 am
hey Amor
I behaved like Cordelia too ! Isn’t my situation like this too? except the girl too! cant I follow this and ofcourse stay away from fighting at all costs!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 10, 2017 at 5:10 pm
Hi Amy,
It’s not really to stop talking for 6 months just to rest but it’s for you to have time to accept that he has moved on.. Come from a point that no feeling for you remains from him, that he has moved on…because right now, you’re already friendzoned and you’re just chasing him..
At least after 6 months, if you still want to try to build rapport, you’ve already established a different life routine, in that time, if it doesn’t work out in building rapport, just stop, and continue moving on in your life doing your new routine…