Did you ex hit you with the classic “I need space” line, and you’re unsure of how to react?

Unsure if your ex means it or not?

Well, today I’m going to walk you through what to do and say when he says he needs space.

And if you stick around until the end of this article not only will I show you what your ex means when he says it but I’ll also give you a few actionable “next steps” you can enact to help you get favorable results.

Sound good?

Let’s begin.

Does He Really Mean It When He Says He Needs Space? 

The moment someone tells you they need space, the first questions on your mind are probably “Do they really mean it?” and “is that the same as a breakup?”

Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news…

Bad news: If someone says they need space, it’s usually a pre-qualifier to a breakup.

Good news: There’s something you can do to improve your chances.

Let’s start by addressing whether a guy really means it when he says he needs space.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

What’s Really Going On In His Head When He Says He Needs Space? 

From what we’ve seen, yes, in this particular moment, the guy really needs space.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll last forever.

When I started my website in 2012, I was convinced that when someone says, “I need space,” they mean it, and your chances are gone forever.

But the reality wasn’t as black and white.

There were several situations where an ex would say something like “I hate you” or “I don’t love you” or “Just give me space” or straight up ask to break up, and women would take it to their hearts.

But then their ex would come back in a couple of months apologizing and saying he didn’t actually mean it.

So, what does it really mean when your partner/ex says they need space?

When an ex or a guy who’s in the process of breaking up with you says he needs space or he doesn’t love you anymore, he usually only means it at the moment. Moments and feelings you have in those trying times can be subject to change as times go on.

Often when someone says they don’t love you any more or need space, they’re going through that “grass is greener” syndrome where they believe there is someone out there that is better for them.

If they believe the grass is greener on the other side, they have no problem moving to that other side and telling you they need space so they can truly test their belief.

But once they go out and explore, the grass may not actually be any greener, and this makes them regret their decisions and want to take it all back.

Obviously, this doesn’t discount that some exes might say they need space and their feelings might never change. They might actually find the greener grass on the other side.

The important thing to remember is that at the moment someone says they need space; they believe that there’s someone better and they need to explore to see if they can find that.

Let’s dig deeper, though, and see if this is the only reason why they say they need space.

Some Other Common Reasons An Ex Will Want Space

We’ve already talked about how they might think there’s someone better out there for them, but we haven’t talked about GNAT-ty behavior.

It’s okay if you don’t know what that means

I coined the term GNAT, and it means:

  • Going
  • Nuts
  • At
  • Texting.

This describes how people act after, during, or even a bit before a breakup where they blow up their exes/partner’s phone with messages asking them to come back or if there’s something wrong.

They’re basically doing all this obsessive behavior that can turn someone off. And when that happens, they can get hit with the “I need space “message.

People truly do need space if they’re done with the constant insecure texts or calls from their partner.

Of course, that’s not the only reason people need space.

A few weeks ago, I checked up on my little brother who’s almost graduated from college, and he shared something particularly interesting with me.

The story was about a girl he was dating and eventually broke up with after saying he needed space.

I was intrigued to see what his thought process was behind, saying that he needed more space.

Ultimately, he concluded that he didn’t feel as if they were the best fit on any level.

Yet, he had still stayed with this person for weeks.


Why did he stay with someone he didn’t have feelings for anymore?

He said something I’ll never forget – “I was too afraid of hurting her “

He let weeks pass, knowing he’s going to break up with her, without saying a word because he didn’t have the courage to do it. He doesn’t want to break her heart.

Interestingly, his ex could sense something was wrong the whole time.

I always tell women to trust their gut in relationships, especially if they’re on the verge of a breakup.

If you feel, there’s something wrong and pick up cues that things aren’t right – you’re probably right and you should explore it more.

Unfortunately, most women don’t explore those weird cues because they’re afraid that if they break up, they’ll never get their ex back. They think that there’s no way of reshaping their partner’s perception, but they’re wrong!

Will Giving Him Space Actually Help Get Him Back? 

Before we go into what to do when an ex says he needs space, let’s talk about whether giving them space will work to get them back.

This might be hard to hear, but most times, giving an ex space ‘alone’ won’t be enough…

I’m a big proponent of the no contact rule, which essentially means giving your ex space on purpose to make them miss you while also giving yourself time to figure your life out without him.

The no contact rule isn’t all it takes to get your ex back and using it alone won’t bring your ex back.

It takes more.

If we think back to why an ex might need space, it’s because they think they can find something better.

So, they’ll only come back if they feel like they’re missing out on something, and you’re actually the right one for them.

While it’s mostly about letting your ex explore around and realize you’re the best option, there are steps you can take to help improve your chances!

Here’s exactly what you should do the moment an ex/boyfriend/partner says they need space.

Exactly What You Should Do When Your Ex Says They Want Space

I want to preface this by saying that my opinions are quite different from those of my peers.

I studied a few of my peers in detail to see what they say in this situation, and most of them advocate for saying something like “it’s okay “or “I understand. ”

I do not think that’s the best way to approach this situation.

In my opinion, what you need to do is create a paradigm shift.

A paradigm shift is doing something or saying something that shines a new light on how you should look at a new situation.

So, let’s take stock of your situation.

You’re in a happy relationship, or you’re in the midst of something that used to be a happy relationship but is now on the verge of a breakup, and your ex or partner says,

“I need space.”

Obviously, you’re devastated, but if you simply give in and say you accept their position, you can’t make a paradigm shift happen.

What you want to do to create a paradigm shift to create a new view of your relationship in his mind is to drop the “socially acceptable” norms of giving them space before they break up with you.

A great way to do this is to say

“You know what? I am so glad you said that. I was actually thinking the same thing. I think we need some space too.”

See how that immediately shifts the power and tilts the scales in your favor? Your ex thought the ball was in their court, but you’ve effectively leveled the playing field by saying this.

Honestly, the biggest mistake women make after a breakup is overly texting an ex or even begging for them back. By putting their ex on a pedestal, women who are trying to get their ex back (or trying to move on) do themselves a disservice.

Women who feel like their ex is better than them give him all the power, and that is absolutely WRONG, in my opinion.

If you want him to think highly of you and ask for you back, you need to knock him off that pedestal, and you need to do things that make him see you’re not hung up on him! He needs to see that you don’t need him, or else he won’t be interested in getting you back.

Shift the narrative on him and take control.


It’s very painful to have someone you love to say they need space, but when you say it to them, you’re not trying to make them hurt, you’re just taking away their power to hurt you.

It’s about you showing them that even though they think they can do better than you, you can do better without them too!

That kind of strong mentality yields results and makes your ex/partner see you in a different light and respect you even more.

What to Read Next

Why Your Ex Is Hardwired To Care About You

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

Why Is My Ex Silent After A Breakup?

By Chris Seiter | 0 comments

Does Your Ex Boyfriend Still Care About You? Let’s Find Out Together!

By Chris Seiter | 181 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

43 thoughts on “What To Do When He Says He Needs Space”

  1. Avatar


    February 3, 2021 at 6:29 pm

    Hi. So my boyfriend I got together during the pandemic! Things were great but I was dealing with a lot. Loss my job , Dealing with my father stage 4 cancer and just feeling depressed and sad. I started become very needy and insecure with my boyfriend and he stated I have mentally drained him. I begged him and tried to convince him I will change and get therapy and work on myself . After 3 times of him saying he does not want the relationship he finally said we can try again. He is still being extremely distant and stated he needs space from me still even though we are in a relationship. I honestly feel like he does not want to be with me. I really need advice on what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 4, 2021 at 4:08 pm

      Hi Keira, so you need to allow him time away from you physically AND mentally. Leave him alone and let him come to you more often than you reach out to him. Do your own thing, focus on yourself and read some self help books on how to deal with your loss, how to deal with anxiety. There are many books to help you with this.

  2. Avatar


    December 12, 2020 at 3:29 pm

    Hello, I need advice, please. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Recently, he stated he needed space. We have been in a long-distance relationship for over a year now. He said the distance can be draining and he isn’t sure if he is going to move home in the spring. He said he needs space and that maybe we go our separate ways for a while. He said that if we were to work out in the future, we can’t keep going on like this because it will ruin the chances of working out (we’ve been arguing a lot) This crushed me to hear and of course, I tried convincing him otherwise and to try and figure out a plan to better our situation. I’ve now given him the space he wanted. It has been 3 days. He comes home for the holidays in two weeks. I am not entirely sure if I will hear from him. I told him I do not want to see him if he doesn’t want to make something work. If I do hear from him to meet up, do I keep things light and just enjoy our time? Do I continue no contact? Or do I just say I do not think it is necessary to get together if we arent going to try and better our situation? I just do not know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 12, 2020 at 8:37 pm

      Hi Mal, I would avoid meeting up with him if you have not used these two weeks to work on yourself and follow the 30 days no contact.

  3. Avatar


    October 26, 2020 at 11:54 am

    My guy of 6.5 months has cryptically stated he needs space by saying “Let me fix my relationship with my kids”. He and a friend’s wife kissed in front of his teenage daughters. I think they are traumatized by it. He ghosted me for a week or so after the incident, with no explanation…he didn’t tell me about the kiss until I hounded him for answers about his sudden silence…I sent texts and calls and made an unannounced visit to his home. He said he is an ass, I didn’t deserve it, etc…I forgave him and asked if we could work on what we have together. I got the “let me focus on my kids” reply…which is totally understandable. But it’s been 3 weeks with no contact from him. I sent a message a week ago asking where we stand. I got a “please just let me take care of this for now”. I haven’t contacted him for 8 days and I am losing my mind, acting like a school girl, crying and not eating. I want to reach out n send a quick “thinkin boutcha” text but I also wonder if I should just say goodbye so I can end this self-torture. Any thoughts are welcome!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 28, 2020 at 1:35 am

      Hey there, so if his actions have upset his children then not only is he trying to fix that but he is also probably feeling really guilty. However, I wonder why you are not upset that he is kissing another woman? I would follow the program if you want this guy back, but I would suggest that you follow the longer period of NC so that he can see you are willing to give him time and space that he has asked for, in the mean time work through the articles and focus on the ones about Holy Trinity and being Ungettable.

  4. Avatar


    October 21, 2020 at 12:02 pm

    Hi, I’d love some advice… I was with this guy for just over two months but found myself feeling insecure in the relationship and unable to fully trust him. I was becoming obsessive over his Instagram and trying to find out if he was still on Tinder. We had a fight at the weekend because of it and he said he wanted to take a break and needed time to focus on himself. (He has some anger issues and he said he could feel himself getting angry and didn’t want to go back to how he was before) He couldn’t say how long he needed and it left me feeling like it was a break up rather than a break. He’s untagged himself from our holiday pictures but hasn’t unfriended or blocked me on any social media. It’s been 4 days without any contact. How long should I give him space – without knowing if it’s really a break or break-up? Is there any way to get someone back after behaving like a crazy paranoid person?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 24, 2020 at 9:22 pm

      Hi Emily, I would say that you need to follow the No Contact rule from 30 days or 45 depending on how you are feeling just before you are meant to reach out at day 30. You need to use this time to work on yourself and your self esteem issues, as if there is no trust in your relationship then you are going to continue to have problems no matter who you are in a relationship with.

  5. Avatar


    October 7, 2020 at 4:37 pm

    Thanks for the advice! I was seeing this guy for about 2 months. Everything was going well till his ex got in the way. His ex tried to get in the way by dming me on instagram. He didn’t know about this and when I told him about he went and confronted his ex. He later said he needs space to clear his head because he didn’t like the way he reacted towards his ex. Though she was in the wrong. He said he hopes we can reconnect in the near future and continue what we had or just be friends. He later texted me 2 days later asking how I was doing. I haven’t heard from him since and it’s been 1 week. Should I move on or continue to give him space?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 8, 2020 at 8:44 am

      Hi Lanny, if you want to get him back then continue with your NC and follow the program.

  6. Avatar


    August 2, 2020 at 12:19 pm

    Thanks for the advice ..I’m not sure what’s going on with him..he has today flown out on a holiday with a friend.. which I knew he had planned to do ..I think he played me ..I take your comments on board and going into no contact while I decide what’s best for me ..I’m not sure he loved me at all by his actions.so now I’m concentrating on me for the next month.what makes it difficult is he contacts my 16 daughter ..I’m sure it’s to get at me ..trying to ignore it .no contact will give me the breathing space I need.

  7. Avatar


    August 1, 2020 at 6:06 pm

    My boyfriend of about 5 months has told me he is burnt out by me and needs space. At first I tried to keep texting him but now Im not sending anything so I can avoid pushing him away more, a little back story is when we met everything was great and fun and I spent plenty of time with him(by his choice) and then we ended up staying together every night for around 3 months. He’s moving houses so his parents took down his bed so he was basically forced into living with me so soon. I loved it but we both started nagging at thing and I felt like I needed more alone time because his family and friends were always over and with us anywhere we went. He says he moved here for his family and nothing will come in between that and that now he thinks he’s not as serious about me as I am about him. I can honestly say I’ve been a textbook perfect girlfriend and been nothing but trusting, I don’t feel like I deserve this. He said he just needs time to see if he even misses me. What do I do, I can’t sleep or eat and I’m even calling out of work because I can’t hold it together.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 15, 2020 at 2:01 pm

      Hey Kayla as hard as it is to go through this, you need to force yourself to go to work and be as normal as you can because what your goal needs to be is to show your ex that you do not need them to be in your life for you to be happy and successful. Grieving the relationship is totally normal, but do not mess up your other situations because of this. You need to work on your Holy Trinity – there are many articles on this but the main one being Health and Wealth for you. Focus on some goals that are not involving him and use your energy on that instead of thinking about the break up

  8. Avatar


    July 19, 2020 at 6:03 pm

    My boyfriend hasn’t broken up with me yet but says he needs a few days away from me.im just so confused..things had been good the week before ..he was cooking meals and we went on dog walks.and then he went out with mates on pretty much a 2 day drinking session. I was cross with him as he was being an idiot and I knew he would regret it. A day later he did and he didn’t want to do anything as he was depressed..and he said he didn’t want to see me and I should respect that.its gone from all okay to rubbish and he seems to be blaming me. He came and got his passport from my house this morning so I assume the holiday that we were going to have ..is not going to happen I think he will just go on his own…i feel he is now waiting for me to get upset and kick off so he can be justified in finishing it…I feel I’m just left in limbo..I’m so upset as I have been through this before with him.we have been together for 6 years.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 19, 2020 at 7:38 pm

      Hey Sazzy, so if you have been through this with him before then you know he will come back around. However the drinking “sessions” you speak of. IF he is possibly taking other drugs along with the alcohol this will explain the depression / low he has after he has stopped. It is common pattern of people who follow this lifestyle. It would be more that you need to decide what you feel is good enough for YOU and if this is what sort of person and relationship you want to have, because without change form you this is a situation you will find yourself in again

  9. Avatar


    July 14, 2020 at 9:12 pm

    My ex and I had feelings for the last 6 years…he ended up getting married and just recently in December got divorced. We started talking, and of course I’m sure he was going out with people to soften the divorce blow. Then he reached out to me…we rekindled those feelings that we’ve had for each other and started going down a path for 5 months, even though it was long distance. We made every effort on the phone and I traveled to see him more because my job allows me to work from anywhere. Then suddenly he needed to take a step back and figure himself out, which lead to very limited contact. Of course my insecurities took over and I texted him a bunch instead of giving him space. Then suddenly I got a text that he was sorry he led me on and that he wasn’t ready. And on the same day posted he was “in a relationship” with the person he was dating before me. (They dated for a month or so and she is the exact opposite of me). He proceeded to text me to say that he knew he was wrong and that he loved me, but that I didn’t deserve his f*cked up head and apologized. Now I’m left with, because of our long standing connection, was I the rebound?? Is the ex a rebound?? After my many texts from being blindsided by all of this, I am now doing no contact & on Day 16. Where do I go from here???

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 8, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Hey Bee you are on the right track with the NC and keep going! Work on yourself and your Holy Trinity so that when you reach a point of being in touch with your ex again you are the best version of yourself

  10. Avatar


    June 12, 2020 at 12:27 am

    I have a weird situation.

    My ex and I have been broken up for several months now (almost a year), but I recently went into complete no contact for at least 21 days (no calls, texts, or anything since last month). At the start, I was the one who was really sad and crying all of the time while he seemed perfectly fine, which I realize is expected. I didn’t look at his profile and worked on getting myself back… which I’ve done! (Thankfully it worked!)

    A few days ago I reached out and broke contact because I was worried about him with everything going on in the news lately. We chatted for a few days and caught up on life. It was fine at first but he started pulling away again. Finally, I asked him if he was okay because he was acting weird and sending really mixed signals and being hot and cold (throughout our duration of texting I wasn’t a gnat, kept the texts engaging and lighthearted, and maintained the proper text:text ratio). I did this because I’ve always been very upfront and honest with him, which he says he’s always liked. However, his response was that he needs more space and doesn’t think we should go back to talking frequently again for a while (even though he and I are best friends and have been best friends throughout dating and even after.. he even acknowledges and says this).
    He said it’s been too soon since the breakup, everything is fresh, we should heal completely before being like how we were (besties who shared literally everything), and that he wants to work on himself. In response, I told him to take all of the time he needs and that I’ll always care for him. He thanked me and that was that.

    I’m just confused, we’ve literally been broken up for almost a year and he says that the breakup is still fresh… it only took me 21 days to get over the breakup and become myself again. I even remember him telling me before how fast and easy it was for him to get over his exes. I guess, I just don’t understand where this is coming from… why he warmed up to me when I talked to him and then instantly pulled away. I also don’t understand why he suddenly says the breakup is still “fresh.” So much time has passed already and last time I remember, he was supposedly over me and the breakup. I followed the no-contact rule and post-contact instructions but he’s still pulling away and said he needs space.

    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 3, 2020 at 10:46 pm

      Hey Izzy, sometimes it takes exes longer to be open to talking, but are you using the methods and the push pull theory that Chris suggests when you are texting to keep him interested in conversations?

  11. Avatar


    May 12, 2020 at 6:47 pm

    It’s been 5 weeks since my ex broke up with me, ending our almost-5-month LDR, and it’s been 4 weeks since my ex told me he needed space and stopped talking to me, so he initiated the no-contact and . He still follows me on Instagram and we are still snapchat “friends,” I know he is still active on both because I can sometimes see him liking a mutual friend’s post or he is best friends on snapchat with a mutual friend of ours, but he has completely stopped looking at my Instagram and snapchat stories, and he has stopped liking my photos, which was something he used to do even before we were dating, when we were friends. For a day after he said he needed space I snapchatted him but he left me on read, and I got the message. Since 2 days after told me he needed space, I have not tried texting him or contacting him at all. When we broke up he told me he still wanted me in his life so we remained in contact for a week after, but then when I asked if he would ever visit me, he told me that he wasn’t saying that he wouldn’t, but even if he could it would be far in the future and he felt that I was stressing too much about hypotheticals that are impossible right now, and he felt like we need to focus on our own lives and that it’s hard to do when there’s constant stress and uncertainty. I told him I understood and that I was sorry for causing him stress. He did not acknowledge my apology at all and that was the last text we exchanged. Now, 4 weeks later, I am not sure if I should reach out, because I really want to make sure that everything is good between us and we can still be friends but at the same time I don’t want to push him further away. At this point, I have no idea whether he actually meant it when he said he still wanted me in his life or if that was just a lie to make me feel better. I don’t necessarily want to get back together with him, I just want to be able to talk to him again as a friend, and I am really tired of waiting to see if he will ever reach out to me to show that he still wants to be friends. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:35 pm

      hi Kaitlin, at this point I would suggest that you start the program, giving that you have worked on your Holy Trinity during the four weeks and then you start reaching out with the texts that are suggested in the articles

  12. Avatar


    May 11, 2020 at 8:39 am

    I’m Racheal…I just broke up with my boyfriend. We dated for 4years 3months , hr told me he needed some space which means break up but still wanna be in touch with me as a friend. I want him back..wat should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 11, 2020 at 10:11 pm

      Hi Racheal, follow the program, read some articles and start your NC period

  13. Avatar


    May 10, 2020 at 8:46 pm

    Thank you Shaunna.
    I’m in NC now, starting with the 45 days as you said.
    I’m heartbroken because he presented the new girl (after three weeks) to his family (via facetime, they don’t even met in person yet! All of this happened online, their relationship is only based on videocalls because they met online a month ago).
    I know that everything screams “rebound” but this is excesive, I can’t even recognize him. He’d never have done something like that. I know that she’s manipulative and clingy (and a liar) but seeing her so friendly with his sister and all…
    In less than a month and without meeting in person they have the most serious relationship ever, I am afraid that the honeymoon period lasts forever. As I said, I know that going so fast in so little time shouldn’t be good but I’m afraid. When my NC ends they could be practically married, at this pace. I’m getting desperate (not in the way to text him, I can resist NC perfectly, that’s not the problem).

  14. Avatar


    May 10, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    Ex broke up with me a week ago (NC) since then. I had left and left my promise ring/necklace. He txts me “I wish you wouldve woke me up when you left be careful driving home.” havent txt him since. I believe an argument got out of hand and werent getting anywhere (miscommunication) which led to him saying hes done and over it and he said he was “heart broken” which he shouldnt be i went over there and i think trying to convince him made him decide to breakup with me and said he needs to be alone but doesnt want to lose me. We really have something special long distance everytime were together its perfect/filled with love just have arguments here and there when were apart.

  15. Avatar


    May 8, 2020 at 9:01 pm

    My boyfriend and I “broke up” 3 weeks ago, i reached out to talk about 1.5 week later and we came to the conclusion of a one-month break. The rules were, no talking, but we are still exclusive, and will not be looking/talking to anyone else. But I found out he has recently added a girl that im not familiar with. I want to redefine the ground rules of this “break”. Hes not someone that adds random people he doesnt know and this makes me anxious.

    its already been a week into the break. Suggestions?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 19, 2020 at 12:31 pm

      Hi Grace, you can not tell him what he can and cant do in regards to his social media and adding new people. All you can do at this point is respect the fact you agreed to be on a break for a month, to which I suggest you do not spend it watching his social media. Instead do things to show him you are not sat at home waiting for him to come back to you. Read about the Ungettable and stick with that. However you need to prepare yourself for him to end the relationship at the end of the break which is going to mean that you then need to do another 30 days NC if you do not use this time wisely. Read about Ungettable and Holy Trinity

  16. Avatar


    May 8, 2020 at 9:36 am

    Hi Shaunna, thank you a lot for the answer.
    No, I don’t have common friends who can help to that. So yes, I’ll focus on texting. After the break up, he used to initiate, but he stopped. And after NC if I start, he takes a day and a half to answer, he is nice and cares about how am I (he’s always been like that, even after the break up, he texted to check on me) but I can’t keep the conversation going. He didn’t even read my last text (from three days ago, answering to his answer to my first one). How much should I wait before I text him again? I’d prefer him to initiate, i don’t want to be a gnat, but I don’t want to loose touch completely (I feel that that’s happening and then I’d be lost). I can wait because I feel bad texting him again but how much? I want to get him back, I want him to be closer. I know that it’s gonna be slow but better slow than nothing. What can I do now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 12, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Jolene, so you would leave it 3-5 days before a second reach out if you get no reply. If he ignores the next text again then you need to leave it 10 days. I would also change your approach to try to get his interest in the conversation

  17. Avatar


    May 4, 2020 at 4:22 pm

    What is better when is in the honeymoon period of a new relationship, NC or Being There Method? I don’t feel like talking to him but I’m afraid that, if I disappear, his relationship will get stronger. As a matter of fact, it has grown during a kind of NC process. But I don’t really feel capable of interacting with him when he’s so “in love” with another person. But I want to get him back…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 10:49 pm

      Hi Lorea, so when you find that your ex has moved on you must do 45 day No contact first, then start the being there method.

  18. Avatar


    May 3, 2020 at 5:08 pm

    How can I recover an ex that doesn’t use social media, only texts? The relationship ended three months ago (a month after becoming a LDR, hopefully the distance is temporary but I have nothing fixed yet). At first we kept texting each other but he started to get more unresponsive (he taked days to answer) and I tried NC. I just finished it and text him. He answered a day and a half after, nice but not super close. What can I do? Without the support of social media to play the UG plus being there method I don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm

      Hey Jolene, so if he does not use social media, is there any mutual friends that you know he would be speaking to that can see your social media? I would focus on your quality of text rather than reply time, so look at his effort based on word count, or how he replies with interest or lack of interest.

  19. Avatar


    May 1, 2020 at 6:53 am

    My ex and i were on good terms. however, recently i assumed he’s seeing other girls and he got annoyed. totally agreed my mistake. i apologised for it and asked him if he needs space because we had been having many arguments in that week. his reply was that he doesnt want to say anything. i said okay and that he could say whenever he wanted to. he replied okay. its been four days and we havent chatted at all. he sent a few memes on insta but thats about it. he hasnt messaged on whatsapp. what to do

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 8, 2020 at 10:37 pm

      Hey H if you want your ex back, then you need to start the program with a NC period

  20. Avatar

    Jessica Fox

    May 1, 2020 at 12:09 am


    I recently had a relationship for 5 months with ex. We broke up last night.
    The reason we broke up was because he had just got out of a long term relationship and jumped the gun and started dating me. Prior to our last conversation about what are we, we recently came back from vacation and it was the most amazing time. This however scared me and made me feel insecure and had to ask what are we doing. The conversation blew up into him saying that he needs space to be alone. He brought up a day where we had a small argument and said later that night he regretted the argument that all he wanted to do was be with me and never wants me to walk out of his
    So the conversation got a bit confusing. We are both crying, he finally admits that he loves me for the first time but backs away and says there are some things about you that I need to think about before continuing.
    We continued to cry and hug each other and after a bit we started to reminisce on the good times and we started to laugh. We hugged goodbye and that was that.
    We never defined how much time he needed, I feel a bit incomplete about it and obviously I’m heartbroken mopping around the house not eating.
    My goal is the to do the no contact for 21 days.
    I just want to be with him so much. Old what I am going to do after the 21. Do you think he will reach before? Do you think I will get closure on whether or not he wants to continue? Is this a break up or a needs space? Help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 11:02 pm

      Hi Jessica, you need to complete 30 days NC and work on yourself in that time so that he puts higher value in you and realises he let someone great go. Read articles about being Ungettable and use this to re attract your ex, and read articles about the texting phase before you reach out to your ex so that you are fully prepared.

1 2