Using Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

 Ex-Boyfriend-Recovery-PRO

Using text messages to get your ex boyfriend back can be one of the most effective “recovery” tactics that one can employ. In fact, if done correctly, a text message can bring up reminiscent feelings that can set you on the right path to getting your ex back. However, there seems to be a huge misunderstanding among the women out there on how to actually use text messaging effectively. I am not going to lie to you, sending a text message is a huge risk, if done incorrectly you will decimate any chance you have of that happy reunion you keep daydreaming about. In order for this to work the landscape has to be set up in a certain way. Allow me to explain.

Why Most Women FAIL When Texting

(For more in-depth information on why women fail at texting check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO)

Since you are all beautiful women ;) I am sure you have had your fair share of suitors. Now, out of those suitors, throughout your years in the dating realm there has had to be one guy that didn’t pick up the hints. He texted you, you ignored, he texted you again, you ignored again and so on and so forth. It usually looks a little something like this:

no hint text

Essentially, this person turned into a text terrorist. The text receiver was clearly ignoring the sender but they refused to accept that fact so they kept texting until they they could get a response. Most women fail at texting their exes for the simple fact that they commit this texting sin and quite honestly it’s not even their fault. Right after a break up everyone involved is out of whack emotionally and are prone to do some really stupid things. I have heard plenty of stories where women, in the heat of the moment, texted their exes multiple times, even after getting no response.

In essence, texting an ex boyfriend after a breakup is usually not a good idea. The better idea is to wait until the opportune moment where can maximize the power of the text message. First though, before we can do that, we are going to have to figure out how to create that opportune moment.

Creating An Opportune Moment

opportune moment

This is going to sound really weird but for the next month I don’t want you to talk to your ex boyfriend.

WHAT???

Yup, I know it sounds ridiculous but trust me, doing this will stack the odds in your favor in a very unique way. Did you know that after a breakup 95% of men still think about their girlfriends too much? Since I am a guy I can definitely say that this is a very true statement. The experts call this “freeze out” the no contact rule. Essentially for 30 days you are not going to talk, text, email or write to your ex. Oh, and in case you are wondering it is not going to be easy. Since you are on my site I am assuming that you are interested in somehow trying to get your boyfriend back. No matter how hard it is or how much you want to talk to him DO NOT DO IT, even if he responds you have to ignore it.

More About The No Contact Rule

ignore

Here is how the psychology behind the no contact rule is supposed to work. As a guy, I will admit we have a warped way of looking at things. For example, after a breakup a guy will think something like…

“Just wait, she will text me begging to come back.”

Now, that is wrong on so many levels but you are going to use this type of thinking to your advantage. By completely taking 30 days to yourself without texting him or talking to him at all you are slowly taking control of the situation. Instead of thinking

“Just wait, she will text me begging to come back.”

He is going to be thinking..

“Why hasn’t she texted me yet? Has she moved on already?”

Do you see the power of the no contact rule now? It is basically the ultimate way to get him checking his phone every five minutes to see if today is the day that YOU will text HIM. That is how you create your opportune time to text him!

Texting Strategies

(For the complete texting strategies please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO)

texting-at-the-table22

If you have advanced far enough to have created that “opportune moment” there is still a lot that has to be covered when it comes to texting. There is a subtle art to texting. You can’t go zero to sixty in a second when it comes to this. In fact, you have to slowly lead up to the moment where he or you will hopefully go out on a date again. Allow me to explain this strategy a little more in depth.

The First Text

Have you ever heard that first impressions are everything? Well, that statement certainly rings true in this case. After basically blowing off your ex for a month straight your first text to them better have some substance to it. I always like to say that you should make your first contact text so interesting that they have no choice but to respond.

Example:

first-contact-1-572x1024

Remembering The Good Ole Days

One of the most interesting things about text messaging is the fact that every holds their texts as sacred. Very rarely will anyone ever willingly show someone their text messages. It is like their phone is their own personal sanctuary holding all their secrets and feelings about things. You are going to use this fact to your advantage.

IMPORTANT - You cannot move on to this text message until you successfully complete the first text message above.

The key with this type of text is to get your ex to remember the good parts of your relationship. The way you accomplish this is by going into great detail on one of the most positive experience that you had together as a couple. If you do this correctly you will bring up his most positive feelings about the relationship and get him thinking about you in a different more positive light. Now, while it is important that you get him to think positively about you it is also extremely important that you remain as positive as well. That means you can’t get angry if things don’t go according to plan. Handle every single text and interaction you have with your ex with as much grace as possible.

So, now that you have an idea of how to approach this type of a text lets look at a good example:

good-example-2-572x1024

Is There A Place For A Jealousy Text?

This section is a little controversial, I am not going to lie. Some people have called this tactic manipulation but my job isn’t to give my personal opinion on this matter it’s just to give you the tactics that others have had success with. Jealousy can be a powerful motivator for a man. I remember once that one of my married friends told me something very interesting about the male psyche. He said that a man is a pretty simple creature. If he gets too used to a woman his eyes will tend to stray. However, if the woman he is dating/married to starts going to a bar and flirting with other guys he will come back down to earth and do everything that you want a good boyfriend or married man to do.

IMPORTANT - You cannot move on to this text message until you successfully complete the first text message above.

So, how does a jealous text work. Well the idea behind it is pretty simple, send a text message to your ex that could potentially get him jealous and bring up some of the lovey dovey feelings that he felt during your relationship. As a guy I can tell you that nothing makes you want a girl more than when you see her talking with another guy that is even moderately attractive. Here is how a jealousy text message would go:

jealousy (did I see you at)

Confused?

If you haven’t already realized this, getting your ex back can be a very complicated process. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if this entire page confused you. Don’t worry, I got your back and I want to help you understand the best way you can get him back. There is a lot more to this process and quite frankly this page doesn’t do a great job of describing exactly what you do step by step. So, if you are intrigued by this method but very confused I urge you to visit get my 100 page guide, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. It may take you a while to read through the entire thing but it will break every step of the ex recovery process down for you, in-depth. It will also go into extreme detail about how you can use text messages to get your ex boyfriend back.

Learn How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Put your email address in the box to the right to follow along day by day as I show two women (Sarah and Kai) exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.
1,211 Responses to Using Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
  1. Kristen
    July 20, 2014 | 6:50 pm

    would something like this be a good first text to send: ‘I just saw _____ and it made me smile and think of you. how are you? hope all is well.’?

    • admin
      July 21, 2014 | 4:11 pm

      I think it would be yes.

  2. laila
    July 19, 2014 | 3:08 pm

    hi , so i am in a really messed up lace ryt now .
    i have been with this guy for 3 years , and 3 yrs he enevr showed any kind of appreciation towards me , like never calld or sms cuz he dsnt hv credit for 3 yrs !!!
    never even gifted me anythg on occasions , where as i thew hin birthday parties nd expnsve gifts , he din even bother to call on mine , jst a miscal LOOL !
    Now m cnfused if hes just a gold digger or really loves me ???!
    Cuz i feel soo Used over here !! nd i really love him
    But when i see how much my frnds bf do for them , dis hurts me !!! like hes judt using my money
    how can someone be broke for 3 years ??? yet go out nd have fun !!
    PLEASE HELP ME !! i dotn knw if i should stay with him ( we broke up smtym bak ) , like try to get him back or just move on ??? he never bothered to spend A single penny on mee ! wht to doo ??
    :(

    • laila
      July 19, 2014 | 3:11 pm

      did i mention 3 years he never took me on a date or anythgg !! it was jst me takng him out few times !! should i stop or wait for things to get better ???

      • admin
        July 21, 2014 | 4:01 pm

        NEVER A DATE????

        Are you kidding me?

        That can’t be real…

        • laila
          July 22, 2014 | 8:13 am

          NO NEVER in 3 years !! cuz he is brokee
          is he just using me or really ????
          but i love him sooo muchh ……
          wht to doo ??? PLESE HELEP ME :( i am so lost …

  3. Shy
    July 16, 2014 | 10:44 pm

    Hello Chris,

    Maybe you can help me!?!? Here is my story.. I met my ex Halloween 2008 at a dive bar. He approached me and got my number. After much coercion (on his part) I agreed to meet up with him. I was not looking for anything serious at the time and immediately placed him in the FWB category. We both dated other people, but were always drawn back to each other.

    Jump to 2014: we have (had) been friends for 6 years. During an exceptionally difficult time in my life, he contacted me and initiated a relationship. I had just ended a 4 year long distance relationship and was feeling vulnerable. He assured me “it would be different with him. That he had always wanted a relationship and loves me.” He practically begged for me to give him a chance. I fell for it..
    More background:
    His job is very demanding and takes the majority of his time and moves him around the country quite a bit. I do temp work as well as some fetish modeling and other odd jobs.

    About a month into our relationship, I started to feel pushed away and disrespected. He began making requests to “liven up” our relationship. His contact became less and less. He said it was because of his job and the time difference we were facing at the time. He also started accusing me of cheating every time if went out. I tried to explain to him that I have extreme social anxiety, but he accused me of lying.
    Eventually, I told him I thought we should wait until he was back home to continue our relationship. He stated that’s not what he wanted (but didn’t say what he did want), but respected my decision. I regretted it the minute the words came out of my mouth. I love him and want to be with him and only him! I have complied to the NC rule 2 times, but when I do contact him, he always asks “who is this?” It literally drives me crazy and I obsessively text him for days before coming to my senses. This last time, he told me he had been in town. The thought of him being here and not contacting me broke my heart. I became that psycho ex gnat texter! I even begged for him to take me back!! I hate that I lowered myself (I’m usually very confident and prideful). I DO NOT want for him to see me as desperate, needy, clingy, and crazy. I have applied the NC rule once again. It has only been two days..

    Any advice???

    • admin
      July 18, 2014 | 3:10 pm

      Let me ask you, did you ever get over the LDR guy?

  4. Rachael
    July 15, 2014 | 7:28 pm

    My ex and I went through a very confusing rough patch this past December and to cut that long story short, I ended up breaking up with him on New Years because of a guy(marine) I used to talk to but had not in a very long time stopped by my house unannounced to pour his heart out to me and then telling me he was being deployed in 1 week for 9 months. That put me in a very uncomfortable position because I knew my ex was so in love with me and treated me with so much worth but after the (marine) told me about him being deployed I had a hard time getting him off of my mind. It wasn’t like I loved this guy but the thought of him getting hurt or killed scared me. So I over reacted about having the (marine) on my mind and broke up with my ex.
    He was devistated and begged for me back that entire month, but I was scared and too ashamed for hurting him like that to talk to him at the time..
    A few days before Valentines I reached out to my ex by admitting I really made a mistake by breaking up with him and poured my heart out to him. He forgave me but was talking to a new girl. He said the connection with her wasn’t the same and that he missed me. We spent that whole weekend before valentines day together. He came over for Super Bowl Sunday and we were home alone. Of course things happened, but nothing too major. We had a great evening together and it felt like old times.
    He is rather a “mamas boy” which is perfectly fine with me because I was close to his family, but the next day, Monday, he told me his mom would appreciate it if I came by her house and talk to her about everything thing that happened and apologize out if respect. For a girl, being in a room with the mother of the boy you hurt is just as scary as being a boy in a room with the father of the girl he hurt. But I did it. He was at work so it was just me and her. I walked up to the front door and knocked, she answered and we sat in the living room. She was silent as if she was waiting to hear what I had to say for myself. The first words to come out were “I am so…. Incredibly..” I busted into tears from the guilt I felt and she looked at me like she could feel herself that I was being completely sincere. I gathered myself self and finished “sorry.” And went into depth about what I was apologizing for. To sum up our conversation she forgave me and reassured me that she had no problem with me being with her son. I was so happy.
    5 minutes later he came walking in and it didn’t take long for me to pick up something was about to happen. She left the room not long after he came home and told both of us she was glad to see us together again. I told him everything that was said and you could see how happy I was all over my face but I could feel there was something wrong on his side. He ended up looking me in the face and saying “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore..” An then he started crying an said he wanted to be with the girl he was talking to before we reconciled. I began to cry and lay all my feeling for him out on the table and I am not the type if person to be so fluent about my feelings. He could only say “I’m sorry I need time to think of what I should do.” and I just sat there in shock for a moment. In that moment his bestfriend walked in the front door (who doesnt like me and was talking to the other girls bestfriend) and saw he came in at the wrong time and went to the other room. My ex wasn’t saying anything but crying and so was I but I had to get myself together and out of there. All I said was “I should go, call me when you decide…”
    I waited over a week for his answer and he knew I was at my lowest point because of what happened with us but didn’t care to tell me his choice. He finally told me his choice was her because a mutual friend told him he needed to be straight forward with me. I just said ” ok if that’s what you want ok.” We didn’t talk the rest of that day.
    I tried to call him 3 times the next day and he didn’t answer. Of course I was trying to change his mind because the girl he left me for already had a boyfriend the my ex knew nothing about. He ignored me time after time those few weeks. I began to let my emotions get the best of me. I went down hill from that point emotionally but physically I became more attractive.
    Of course my ex and that girl quit talking after a couple weeks like I assumed they would. I waited about 2 more weeks before I texted him and he was already talking to this other girl (Lexi). He was texting fairly fast but right when he was getting my hopes up he told me that nobody could know we were talking as friends, not even her because she would take it the wrong way. She ended up seeing my name in his phone and got very angry with him so he randomly said with no explanation that he couldnt talk to me. By this time it was the end of April, nearing prom. They went to their prom together and I went to mine dateless. I ended up texting him that night and told him I hated him. All he said back was “nice to know.” I didn’t message back… 3 weeks later I texted him a huge apology for saying I hated him because I had never said that to him and it was out of anger. He sent back a fairly long message saying that he knew I was only angry and didn’t really mean it and forgave me.
    I took the oppertunity to try and fix our bridge, by just having a positive conversation about what was new in his life and etc.. Our conversation was going very well so I risked it by just asking how things were between him and his new girlfriend (Lexi). His response surprised me, he said “Okay I guess but I don’t have the same connection with her as I did with you..” I was so excited but my response was light and not pushy. He ended up breaking up with her a week later, while during that week he was talking to me all day everyday an saying things that he shouldn’t have while dating someone. I responded very short to those or brought her up. For example he said “I wish I could tell you how much I miss you but Lexi would kill me.” But the day they broke up he texted me and said “so did you hear about me and Lexi breaking up?” I played it off as if I didn’t and asked how he felt about it. He said he felt really good and went more in depth about how he did it and how it was mutual. I kept the mood positive and light by just saying “That’s good :) at least it was a mutual thing and no one was hurt.” He responded back agreeing with me and then says ” idk if you were wanting to hangout but if so I would like to see you” and then quickly adds “but for the love of God don’t let his bestfriend (Warren) find out.” I automatically became very skeptical and just said “I don’t even talk to Warren.” He responded “I know but he told me if I ever talk to you again he would kill me.” And I just said “it’s not like anything would happen.” And he said “I know but you don’t understand his mindset about you.” And I said “And tbh I don’t care to know” and he said “I know and I told him even though I still have feelings for you I wouldn’t date you again.” And I just said “well it would be nice to catch up!” He said “ehhhh idk about that…” And I just said “what?” And he said “nothing.” And I said “you can talk to me.” And he said “I know but I don’t think I could control myself.” And I said “what do you mean.” And he said I would end up kissing you and I don’t want to make your feelings for me come back..” I got pissed off and just said “lol” “oh ok” and he just said ” :( ” and I said “what” and he said “your mad…” And I just didn’t text back. He texted me again that night and said “hey.. Why were you mad.. :(” and I just said “seriously?” And he said “yeah I’m sorry” and I explained why I was and how he came across as he just wanted me as his side girl and basically poured my heart out to him to make him feel guilty which he did because he couldn’t even respond. I finally had it and was through sucking up to him. The next morning I still didn’t have a response so I said “yeah I probably wouldn’t have text back either.” And he said “I’m tired of you yelling at me” and I just said “how old are you? I’m tired of being led to believe there’s something still between us.” And this is when he pulled the last straw, he said “You’re crazy. Absolutely insane.” And I just said “lmao.” Our conversation ended.
    This is when I went a little overboard by putting up screenshots of our messages since he was trying to hide me but it did make me happy to see my tweet blow up with 121 favorites and 73 retweets. He texted me and said im sorry for “whatever” and I didn’t respond. He texted again and said “you’re about to get and ear full.” I told him he should probably keep whatever he has to say to himself and I didn’t want to hear it. Of course he let me hear it and brought his bestfriend and mom into it. His bestfriend ended up threatening me and his mom ended up calling my house. I talked to her explaining where I stood and she completely understood and apologized for her sons actions and explained to me that she knows for a fact he still loves me and is doing whatever he can to fit in with his bestfriend but pushing me away.
    That was the last time I spoke to them and that was the end of May.
    My ex is going by what one friend of his tells him and he doesn’t even know me but my ex is really a loving caring guy. I know that because he used to treat me like a princess. I’m in love with him and I want him back in my life,
    What should I do?

    • admin
      July 16, 2014 | 2:46 pm

      This marine…

      Did you ever date him or have feelings for him?

  5. nola
    July 14, 2014 | 6:23 pm

    I have got a big story. Is there a way you can e mail me ? I suppose you can see my email.

    I have been seeing my ex for a couple weeks now. We never see each other one day always two or more. Now I have seen him from Wednesday til Sunday. We only had sex two times. A couple days before that he said he missed me and I thought I needed to give him emotional support which came out in more days of fun. Between these days we had e good conversation about the facy he has a dilemma. He likes and missses me but sees another girl too. It didnt work out with her because of he religion parents and distance. She is sweet and good looking but its just not “it”. She and i both have pro and cons. One of yhe cons on my side is my mom. He and my mom didn’t work quite well.

    I know he still talks a bit with her. When he is with me he barely touches his phone but still. I don’t want to be an second choice. I did told him I liked the weekend, and a couple hours later that I would like to continue the conversation we had about us. Where I’d like to day how and what I want. (we got interrupted).

    We both agreed in this conversation it’s not for nothing that we enjoy each other and that everything feels good.

    I.hope you get the story what do you think of this ? I need a male expertise here. I Suck at toming and don’t wanna be pushing anything. I feel like. Never say never. And as persons we do fit anf always will.

    • admin
      July 15, 2014 | 3:00 pm

      Sorry I don’t do the emails anymore… If you ccould post it here though.

  6. Janet
    July 10, 2014 | 6:14 pm

    What if I ran out of how to text him first?

    I have tried every text you taught us here..

    Now I haven’t talked to him about 3 months. (NC)

    I really want to text him but i used them all. (Confession, guess what, etc)

    What more can I do now? Help Chris!!

    • admin
      July 11, 2014 | 1:59 pm

      Can’t you make up your own text though?

  7. Sarah
    July 8, 2014 | 3:25 pm

    Hey Chris!

    So I waited about 40 days of NC and then sent a message last Tuesday about finding something he had given me and that it made me think of him for the first time in a while. He responded RIGHT away saying he was going to contact me the day before to check up on me and see how I was doing. Then he started a conversation and we chatted effortlessly and quickly for 10 mins and then I ended the convo…he responded after I ended it with what he was about to do and I didn’t respond.

    On Thursday he “accidently” facetimed me and I didn’t answer. I sent him a txt an hour later saying “sorry I missed your call.” he told me it was a butt dial while he was at the gym. That night I was at a bar with my girlfriends and when leaving, I saw him surrounded by people and chose not to say hi because he didn’t see me anyway and I felt like it was the wrong time. I turned to my friend and said “maybe I should?” and she said no and pushed me out..I made sure to be smiling and laughing as I left just incase he saw me.

    Sure enough at 4:20am he sent me a message “sorry if I stepped on your game tonight.” I sent him a message the next day at 1pm saying “game? i don’t know what you mean” I saw him type, delete, type, delete (benefit of iphone) and then silent…ten mins later i said “i was out with girlfriends catching up last night, i hope you enjoy this incredible weather today!” he responded immediately saying he was drunk and didn’t know what he meant by that and that he was heading to his friends to go swimming.

    Sunday I reached out with a memory text about when we installed my car stereo together, he told me that it was all me and he just held the flashlight, I said he was my hero that night and that it was freezing. He said it was worth it. I decided to ask him about his weekend and BOOM, opened 3 hours worth of texting back and forth. He was talking about how he completely changed his lifestyle and is happy with his body for the first time in his life. “You know how I struggled with that” he sent me pictures of his muscles and was using winkey faces, I sent him a picture of my muscle (i’ve been working out too) and he commented on the fact that I was always ripped before hand but look even better now. I think he was flirting with me and he was texting a lot more than I was…I even ended the conversation once and an hour later he restarted it again. He did say in the convo “we start talking again and we are comparing muscles” and laughed.

    I guess my question is, there’s a lot of information about what to send as a text…and if there is a positive, neutral, or negative response…but I guess…how to I take the positive response? Do I continue to reach out or should I wait for him to make the next move?

    1) he told me he was thinking about me, wanting to see how I was and to check in with me, and was going to contact me before I contacted him (good sign)
    2. He responds pretty quickly so far (good sign)
    3. He sent me a drunk text 3 hours after he saw me (I think he was fishing to see if I was single? Because I literally was not around ANY guys all night except the waiter) (good sign because it means he’s thinking about me?)
    4. He was being playful and talking about his body a LOT, also mentioning how his lifestyle is healthy and good for the first time in his life which is a huge thing for him and something he’s struggled with for a while. (is this good or is he just looking for confidence boost?)
    5. He seems eager to tell me about what he’s up to. He asks about me, but I make the decision to not really tell him and keep asking him questions about himself or continuing the convo about him. I am doing this because I hope that maybe it will keep him guessing about what I’m up to and maybe give me a call or initiate texting? (good? i dont’ know)
    6. He hasn’t reached out to start conversation on his own yet except that drunk text… (granted this is the first week of contact after NC)

    I guess, how does a girl gauge this? What is the difference between an ex just being nice and an ex flirting with you or prepping the soil for something more in the future? I’ve never had an ex be this flirty and positive after a breakup and I feel like I’m gonna jinx it by even posting on here haha.

    What is friendly and what is more than that? And where do I go from here?

    • admin
      July 9, 2014 | 2:13 pm

      1. I agree good sign
      2. VERY good sign.
      3. Again, not cool that he was drunk texting but a good sign.
      4. Confidence boost (probably from you.)
      5. I would say good
      6. He is very responsive though when you do reach out right?

      • Sarah
        July 9, 2014 | 4:10 pm

        Yes! Always so responsive! And QUICK with his responses!

        I’m starting to wonder if maybe he’s not reaching out because he’s worried I’ve moved on or is scared to know I’ve found someone else, which I clearly haven’t.

        So, where do I go from here?

        • admin
          July 10, 2014 | 2:17 pm

          Ok well, keep doing what you are doing. While its not ideal that you have to be the one that inititates the important part is that he is quick and responsive!!!

  8. Ha Bac
    July 5, 2014 | 5:34 pm

    Hello Chrish,
    First of all, thanks for your very helpful advice. I would like to share my story to you here, becaus it is some different…
    I am Vietnamese and my bf is Korean. You have been together for almost 1 year. We both love each other. But, you know, beside bf and gf, we also have other friends (including men), right? Me too, i have one friend, just friend only in my country. He is living very far from my place, and we just contact sometime. he is also my company’s partner. Then, one week ago, we had a conversation about works between my company and his. During that conversation, we joked each other, and he called me “honey”, i also called him “honey” too….just for fun. I do not love that guy, and i really didnt think much that thing would go very far…when my bf read my conversation with that guy. It’s happened at the same day, evening, while i was having date witt my bf, i turned on 3G to show him some stuffs…then the text of my friend came…at 10:30 pm asked me “he came back home already”…
    After that, my bf read all my texts with friend, saw “honey”…. He started to accuse that i cheat on him, and he wanted to break up with me even i explain many time that it was just kidding only. My bf also used my phone to call that guy at 11:30pm, asked him love me or not? Actually, my friend has a 3 years old daughter, so i thought he also has wife…i also told my bf that “we’re just kidding, and he has wife and daugter…how come i can love him. And especially i am in love with you? I only love you!”….but he didnt believe in me :(… He called that guy and ask him about his wife…and do you know, my friend actually is still singler!!! Oh my god…then my bf thought i lie him!!!!!
    He said to me “you love a guy who has daughter?….ok, let go there and love him, we finish here”…then he gone…
    I cried alot!!! I know this was my fault when did joking too over…but i really love my bf so much…
    The next day, i texted him to ask about his flu, i also bought medicine for him…and he still texted me back, but lied me that he ate my medicine and felt better…but i knew he didnt. Then when i asked about his day, he didnt reply me..
    Yesterday i also texte him to ask about his flu, he texted me back ” already ok now”. But when i asked him “are you still angry me?”… He didnt reply me…until now!
    I dont know what to do now? Could you give me advice…i really dont want to lose him.
    Could you give me any advice?
    Many thanks!
    Ha Bac

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:55 pm

      What specifically do you need my help with? Like what to text him?

      • Ha Bac
        July 7, 2014 | 11:05 pm

        Should i continuously text him or just keep slience for a while?
        Cuz i feel he is totally ignoring me…

        • admin
          July 8, 2014 | 2:15 pm

          Silent for a while.

  9. Louise
    July 3, 2014 | 2:29 am

    Hi Chris,

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years September last year. It was a mutual break up but soon realized i wanted him back. He straight away got into a new relationship and is now living with his new gf. We have spoken on and off in that time and in the last few weeks have been seeing/speaking to each other on a more then friends basis. I obviously feel awful about this but still have feelings for him and want him back, we have not spoken about feelings and the fact of what is really going on other then the fact that he seems confused, but he is still with his gf. Any advice on what to do to win him back completely?

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:22 pm

      By any chance have you read the 2.0 version of getting an ex back who has a new girlfriend?

  10. laila
    June 28, 2014 | 7:42 am

    hey , me and ex used to chat on bbm and whtsp before , even aftr we broke up . now since 6 mnths he deleted me off bbm saying he does not use it anymore , infact he still does !!!
    howw do i make hi add me back on bbm ????
    i dont want to sound desprate to him , cuz he clearly dsnt wana chat .
    Please help ! its killing me to keep quite !

    • admin
      June 29, 2014 | 5:01 pm

      Do you still have his actual phone number?

      • laila
        June 30, 2014 | 4:14 pm

        ye i do and we talk sometimes .
        but can u tell me a way how to make him add me on bbm ????

        • admin
          July 3, 2014 | 12:38 am

          Sorry I am kind of lost, bbm?

          • laila
            July 8, 2014 | 10:09 pm

            blackberrynessenger , lol
            so can u tell me way to make him want to talk to me ? or add me back on blackberry messnger ( like texting ) !

  11. Stacey
    June 26, 2014 | 9:07 pm

    Hey Chris.
    These questions relate to a few of your articles i didn’t wanna spam and post on each article the question related to so its just a huge blurb on this article.
    I just finished your NC article which i neglected to read since the concept seemed simple enough. However I’m glad i read it because according to your article I actually overshot my goal. Its been 7 weeks NC and i only did it so long because i didn’t know that contact regarding recollecting things left at your place was not considered breaking NC.
    Im going to do first contact soon but i have a few questions that weren’t answered by your other articles.
    First question:
    In your “the male mind during NC” you told us what he’s thinking but does his reaction have anything to do with what you should say/do during first contact? And if so what about men who are combination reactions?
    I have come to the conclusion that my ex is probably a weird combination of Clueless, stubborn and scared.
    ALSO he just came over to what used to be our apartment yesterday to pick up his stuff. Id like to make first contact soon since my NC is over now. But Is doing it right after ive seen him a bad idea? how soon should i do first contact if i just saw him?

    • admin
      June 29, 2014 | 4:37 pm

      Ok, one question at a time please hahaha.

      What is it you want to know most?

      • Stacey
        June 29, 2014 | 8:49 pm

        Its been three days since he came by my place to pick up his stuff. And hes actually stopping by again since he missed a piece. Should i wait a few days after today to make first contact since ill be seeing him again? Or should i make first contact now and use our recent contact as a stepping stone?

        • admin
          June 30, 2014 | 2:32 pm

          Yes wait a few days.

  12. BellaZ
    June 25, 2014 | 6:22 pm

    My boyfriend of 6 weeks lied to me about his whereabouts. It was important that we spend the weekend together since we had not done so since we started dating. I suddenly had a feeling he was lying and drove by his house only to find the lights on and car parked in the driveway, even though he said he was out of town. When I confronted him, he accused me of spying on him and he broke up with me right there and then. I miss him, I wasn’t ready to let go. How do I get him back without having to chase after him because at the end of it all, he did lie and broke my trust in him,

    • admin
      June 26, 2014 | 3:19 pm

      Did you find out why he lied to you though?

  13. Raquel
    June 22, 2014 | 11:43 pm

    Hi Chris!

    You’re website is fantastic. I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 5 months. We hardly argued, we had a lot of the same interests and always had a good time. I have a little boy and he doesn’t have any kids. He never met my son, as I didn’t want to bring him around until I knew it would get more serious. I was going to introduce him this week, but was shocked when he called me and said that he met someone, wanted to date her and see where it goes. and didn’t want to be with someone who had children. I’m not sure if this was just an excuse or this is how he really feels. We had an amazing sex life, we were extremely comfortable with each other and shared so many great memories. I’m beyond heart broken, and will take any advise you may have. As we never really committed, he was open to date anyone he wanted. He said he thought of me when he went on a date with her, interested in getting to know her better. Also, he has met other women but nothing came out of it, and he always thought of me. He says he cares for me and wants me to be happy and does still have feelings for me, but doesn’t see us going any further. What should I do?

    • admin
      June 23, 2014 | 2:21 pm

      Maybe he just got too freaked out by the commitment. I mean things must be getting more serious if you were going to introduce him to your son.

      • Raquel
        June 23, 2014 | 8:18 pm

        He didn’t know I was going to make that leap. This was completely out of the blue. I’m sticking to the NCR, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking of me, if he misses me or if he regrets this. What are men thinking?

        • admin
          June 24, 2014 | 6:45 pm

          I am sure he is thinking of you… read some of the “male mind” posts on this site.

  14. Syephanie
    June 22, 2014 | 5:07 pm

    Hi!
    Any advice I can get would help me greatly. I have been going through hell for the last month. Here is my situation..
    Me and my husband had been together almost 3 years and married for 7 months. He has a job where he frequently had to work out of town for 1-3 week periods at a time. In May he came home after a longer leave of work than normal and told me that he “wanted to be alone” that he had never really been single and that he wanted his time and space.
    He said he wanted a divorce because he thinks he is too young to be married (23). At the same time he kept saying things like “this won’t be forever” “I don’t want to cut you out of my life” “I think this time apart will do us some good”. Well I left town for a week and kept my phone turned off the whole time I was there. I received a text asking if I had I blocked him, telling me we were supposed to still talk and basically telling me nor to be spiteful. I sent him a message back explaining that I was taking some time. Then he would call or text me for what seemed to be ridiculous reasons…the latest one to tell me that the landlord at the house we lived in was selling the property. All along in this time I have tried to get clear cut answers from him about what he wanted and have received nothing but a bunch of I don’t know answers. we were supposed to meet up to exchange some things. I knew that it would hurt me to see him So I finally texted him and told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea until he wanted to talk and explained that I know that I am a good catch and when he was ready to talk to let me know. The next day he unfriended me on Facebook and I haven’t heard from him since….I guess now I don’t know where to go from here…I know I love him and want to fix my marriage I just don’t know what to do..!! Please help!!

    • admin
      June 23, 2014 | 2:06 pm

      Well, you might want to check out my page on ex husbands.

      • Syephanie
        June 23, 2014 | 3:27 pm

        I read the section on ex husbands but I am not sure how much applies to my situation because our marriage was only 7 months. He went through the phase of wanting to still call and text me until the last message I sent explaining that I didn’t think meeting up would be a good idea. He has mentioned divorce since the day we split and in the state I live in there is no legal separations. I am worried about the NC rule because he has a tendency to think that I do things out of spite and I don’t want to push him away further…any suggestions?!!

        • Syephanie
          June 23, 2014 | 3:28 pm

          Hasn’t **

        • admin
          June 24, 2014 | 6:33 pm

          Let me ask you this. How long did you date before you got married?

          • Syephanie
            June 25, 2014 | 8:13 pm

            We dated a year and 10 months before we got married and lived together for most of it.

  15. Crystal
    June 19, 2014 | 6:22 pm

    Chris,

    So I was the one who pulled the plug on the relationship back in March. We were engaged and we have a child together. I know that we have to have contact because of our child but I have been having so much trouble keeping the minimal contact rule. I hear from “friends” of mine that he talks to and he tells them that im crazy..well I un friended him on facebook…do you think he will notice?? I want our family back together so bad….please help..

    • admin
      June 21, 2014 | 7:21 pm

      Why did you end the relationship?

  16. Kriya
    June 19, 2014 | 8:30 am

    Hey,
    Thats a very long story, right noe Im all messed up :( , I just wanted to know that what If he forgets me in these 30 days ? :( I can try this NC rule , he already wanted to stay away from me and he said he’s happy without me . I’m confused please reply me back. I’m going through hell right now. We had almost 3 yrs relationship and I can’t let it gi :( We were having marriage plans and now he don’t even see a friend in me. Please reply asap. Im waiting . . .

  17. Alexa
    June 19, 2014 | 7:08 am

    Hi Chris,

    I would really appreciate if you could help me and get back to me about my problem as soon as possible.My ex is coming tom to get his stuff and I really don’t know what to do.. Here’s my story. I met this guy online. We chatted for a month and he said he’s really into me and that he is coming to visit and spend time with me(Btw,He’s from Australia and I’m from Malaysia). On his first visit, we got to know each other more and even started being physically intimate with each other. He said, he’s gonna do the monthly visit and that he really wanted to commit in our relationship. At first, I wasn’t really looking for a serious relationship coz I just came out from a long-term one and then he came along and everything changed for me. So, on our second meeting we went on a holiday together. We were very happy. Then this month, something happened to me. I got robbed and I’m really down and a bit emotional coz of the stuff taken from me.some are really important. One day we were just talking and he said that he is not really comfortable about my flabby belly and I told him to either take it or leave it.And I insisted that we settle everything now before we go any further. He said he doesn’t know and that he is pretty big with physical attraction and I grew very insistent that he tell me what he wants.until he said the dreadful words, “Leave it” and I was in so much shocked and disbelief coz I thought that his not gonna say that coz his been saying that he’s not sure and that he doesnt know. Although, he said that his happy with our relationship and he’s not sure about the whole take it or leave it thing coz he said, he does have trouble with my chubbiness. He even said that he likes me a lot and that my sexiness comes from my personality but my mid section is turning him a bit off and that he’s very big on physical attraction. So, I stopped communicating with him for 3 days.But since he is coming again this 20th,I texted him about a guy I bumped into that Monday morning and that he reminded me of him and I said that I’m cool with what he wants and that I totally agree with the break up. He texted me right away,laughing and commenting about my text. But I didn’t reply anymore. Then on Wednesday,yesterday he texted saying if he can come over on Friday and get his stuff.I replied and said that I totally forgot about that he’s coming again and that it’s totally fine but he may have to wait till 9 or 10 coz I have to do something with a friend(mentioned a guy name). And he said that’s okay and I even said to stop being too nice and he texted me throwing a funny line. I really want this guy back even though I got really hurt with his lame reason of breaking up with me. So, for almost a week now I’ve been working out non-stop till he comes and I even bought a tight-fitting black dress for when he come and get his stuff on Friday. But this is where my problem is coming in.. He’s gonna be here for just a couple of days and I wanna win him back. My plan is to look really happy, confident and that everything is cool and I’m okay and moved-on. But I’m gonna have a problem resisting his charm. coz I think we have this really great sexual connection and I have to resist that on our first night seeing each other again, coz I want to mentally challenge him and chase me again. But at the same time, I’m this bitch with all these strong sexual desires for him ready to explode.hahaha I was thinking, if on the 2nd day and I couldn’t take it anymore, and if we hook up. Can I just act like a guy? Like, I just wanna sleep with him and nothing serious and leave him tip-toeing the next day. and if I wanna do it again, i’ll just text him and hook up again. What do you think will happen and what he’ll feel about me? I wanna hear your point of view.Please help me.Thank you and I look forward in hearing from you.

    • admin
      June 20, 2014 | 7:48 pm

      So, you guys are long distance?

  18. nicole
    June 19, 2014 | 2:52 am

    I’m 21 Years old and in my 8 month of pregnancy, my boyfriend [22years old] and I have been together going on 4 years in a couple days. We were living together and everything was okay until one day I felt guilty and decided to tell him I cheated but I didn’t have sex with the guy we were just enjoying each others time and company whenever my boyfriend didn’t have time for me. He didn’t leave me but a month or so went by and I found out I was pregnant. He was happy and I was happy , he was there every appointment that he could make it to when he didn’t have to work. My first trimester I was very sick and I couldn’t make it to work so I stopped working wish caused him to be the only paying bills to keep a roof over our heads until he losted his job. It got frustrating because his patience started getting shorter, he started staying out for 12 hours a day being with his friends, arguments and fights escalated to the point I got sicker and lost a lot of weight and ended up staying with my grandmother. In January of 2013 he left and moved with his mother to milledgeville, ga to find a job since he couldn’t find one here and I just continued living with my grandmother.  Well from the beginning my trust was messed up because we’ve has minor problems and by him staying out all day and not wanting to spend time with me cause me to think he just wasn’t chilling with his male friends but females were also involved.  But when he left to stay with his mother I gained some trust back because we talked and Skyped everyday and every second of the day. He got a job after a couple of weeks of being there where he worked 5pm to 5 am , he would message me on Facebook during break and call me as soon as he got home from work but shortly started to fade away.  I always checked his Facebook , Twitter, and emails since he left, well one night I was checking his email and I found a post on Craigslist stating that he was looking for friends with benefits in the area and a picture of his penis. I was so hurt and confused because we were doing good , better than what we been doing when we were down here together.  So I called him and asked him about it and he really couldn’t say anything but that he was horny. Once I found that out my trust was lost again and ever since then we barely talk. I told him I know he done had sex with someone up there because he has a high sex drive and I know that he talks to other females up there because he doesnt conversate with me but he denies it all. He tells me its no one else and that he hasn’t done anything else to hurt me besides the Craigslist mess and that he wants to be with family and to raise his child. I don’t know what to do or believe because I don’t want my child growing up without 2 parents because that’s something I didn’t have my whole life and I love him with all my heart and can’t image myself being with out him. We don’t have trust or communication in this relationship but I don’t want to give up and I’ve been the one trying to do everything to make sure he’s happy and so our relationship won’t fall apart.i found out through twitter that he has been seeing a girl on his job and she has been on twitter bragging about their first date and how good he was in bed but he denies having sex with her it was just conversation. PLEASE HELP ME.!

    • nicole
      June 19, 2014 | 2:59 am

      I’ve had my baby and he ended up traveling down to my hometown to help open up one of the stores he works to , in order to be Down her with the baby. The company gives them a room to stay since he traveled here to open a store and he shares it with another guy [ that I don't know or trust] but I went through his phone and found out that he invited some girl over to the room to smoke with him and when she left he texted her to make sure she was safe when he never did me this why when I traveled to see him during my pregnancy. I still want to be with him because I don’t want nobody else or even want to start over with someone new and i want my family to work .!!what should I do???

    • admin
      June 20, 2014 | 7:43 pm

      Well, this is a mess to be quite honest.

      Firstly, he is probably very hurt that you cheated on him. Secondly, at 22 he is very young and can be a tad immature… (women mature much faster than men I feel.)

      • nicole
        June 21, 2014 | 9:29 pm

        Yes. It is a mess and I’m hurt because I really want to make my family work and I’ve done begged him to act accordingly because he does have a baby now but he does the opposite . What should I do.? Just forget us ever getting back together , let him know that it over, no contact for 30 Days , because telling him how I feel isn’t working at all and we done been together for 4 years. I feel he did wrong , I did wrong , we even let’s just make it work. I don’t know what to do

        • nicole
          June 21, 2014 | 9:34 pm

          And I feel maturing isn’t an excuse because he knew I was pregnant and had 9 months to decide what he wanted to do with us being together and had 9 months to mature to be a father. He only calls one time out the day , doesn’t even come by to see her and this is his first child

          • nicole
            June 21, 2014 | 10:32 pm

            And I cheated back in 2012

            • admin
              June 22, 2014 | 3:42 pm

              Still, I am sure it hurts…

          • admin
            June 22, 2014 | 3:42 pm

            …. how old is he again?

            • nicole
              June 23, 2014 | 10:28 pm

              He is 22 years old and no I didn’t let him know about nc . I’m asking you what should I do

        • admin
          June 22, 2014 | 3:41 pm

          Wait, you made him aware you are doing NC?

          • nicole
            June 25, 2014 | 7:19 am

            He is 22 years old and no I didn’t let him know about nc . I’m asking you what should I do

  19. Eileen Jazz
    June 18, 2014 | 5:16 pm

    I did the no-contact rule for 30 days (he texted 4 times in the whole month, which I proudly ignored). I texted him this morning – NO ANSWER!! It has been 3 hours, and I know he is always on the phone. What is going on? Give up? Walk away?

    • admin
      June 20, 2014 | 7:17 pm

      What did you text him?

  20. choas
    June 16, 2014 | 9:14 pm

    Hi Chris I really need your help. I’ve lost the only guy who has ever loved me and I have never loved anyone the way I did him. We broke bout week ago and its all my fault. It’s a really long story but I’ve excepted I ruined our relationship. I’ve begged and went to see him everyday to show I was sorry but it seemed he jus hated me all over again as soon as I had to leave his we would argue. Please I want him again please he is the only thing that makes sense to me he is the only one I want I need in my life. And I’m so miserable without him. He has to go back to Africa in 5 days.before wen we were in love he was going to stay for me please I need us to be together again please how can I get him to feel that way for me again. Please how can I get him to want me back please help me before He leaves for Africa how can I change his mind. We’ve hvnt spoke for four days no text no call nothing.but this morning he sent me a text saying I was a terrible f2f and he leaving country end of this week. Wat do I reply! Please way can I text back to make him change his mind. I tried 30 days things but just one week he text me saying he leaving ok by end of this week way do I do! Please help me get him backk

    Please reply asap

  21. Mango44
    June 15, 2014 | 12:54 pm

    I met my guy on an online dating site in January. We talked a few times before we met up and even on the phone, the connection was immediate. The date was even better (best I ever had) and he agreed the same. I thought I met an emotionally available, kind, affirming, solid, man. However, he told me probably on our second date or so, all about his last relationship and how it ended. He was with someone for four years and he caught her cheating on him. This happened just two months before we met! He told me he didn’t want anything serious, but his actions were otherwise. Well, we dated for two months and at first I was dating other people, and then I focused only on him. At the beginning of march I celebrated his birthday by heading up to NYC with him to meet his brother and cousins and what an amazing weekend it was! I felt so connected to him, etc. Well after he came back (I stayed there an extra week between jobs) he got distant and weird and it drove me nuts because I missed him like crazy. He didn’t respond to a text I sent him and that sent me into a tailspin. Then when I sent him an email wondering what was up, he was seemingly open, etc. But he did this weird thing where he was like “hey my family is in town, you can meet them” and then finally not responding to my last text. Again, it sent me into a tailspin. When we finally spoke I had talked to all my friends and sisters about it and asked him of we were ever going to have a future, etc. Etc. He immediately shut down (wasn’t open like before) and I also got him to admit that he was seeing someone else and was physical with them. I was devastated and ended things with him. A month later (after complete radio silence) I gchatted him and realize that I was pretty heavy with my communication with him “I couldn’t stop crying after you” etc etc. He also told me he was seeing someone else! Well, that gutted me and now it’s been exactly two months of radio silence. I can’t stop thinking about him and I want another chance with him. My question is: should I wait another month? After the first text, what should I do when he responds?

  22. Diamond
    June 14, 2014 | 1:57 pm

    What if you already texted him like crazy to have him come back? He broke up with me because he is a pot head, and when he smokes a lot he becomes a different person and shits everyone who loves him out. He was being distant and not replying to I texted him ” I want to hear your voice more that’s not fair baby I miss you” and he said “sigh diamond I can’t do this anymor, in done with having gfs please be my really good friend if your willing too” . He broke up with me because I asked him to call me, and I’m lot even clingy but the weed makes everything over dramatic so I guess he was already annoyed . Any way, I texted him 2 days after that and said god bless you and I’m thinking about cha and he said ” how are you? I’ve been thinking about you too, hob bless”. I txt we back and he never replied. So then I texted him again :( idk why I thought begging would being him back. So what do I do ? Should I start the 30 day thing ?

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 6:00 pm

      You definitely should!!!

  23. tina
    June 13, 2014 | 5:56 am

    so me and my husband had known each other for 7 years. we were BFFs in the beginning then we dated for 4 years then got married for a year. we had arguments and breakups throughout our relationship because i think he has a problem on going to nightclubs a lot. and he doesnt earn enough money to pay for himself. he likes to spend on luxury stuffs. so when we went out i used to pay for every meal and movie tickets and such. he sometimes buy my expensive gifts which i dont think i needed. i stopped paying for him 8 months ago and he got mad. he started to come home very late(4,5am in the morning every weekend)then i got mad and refused to have sex with him everytime he asked me.
    then 2 months ago we had a big fight before going to see a movie. i blocked him on the phone. he did not attempted to talk to me about it when he came home really late. then he moved out 5 days later when i was at work. he told nobody before he moved out. i was devastated when i got back home found his stuffs were all gone. i was so pissed so i kept blocking him for a whole month. during that month i talked with his closest friends a little. one of them said he looked very unhappy at work right after he moved out. others said he really wanted a divorce and do not want to go back together. then i unblocked him and asked him if he wants to come out and talk about it. he sounds very mad even though he insisted he’s very happy that he moved out. he said he does not love me anymore and he does not wanna see me at all cos hes having fun with ‘friends’from nightclubs. and said i made him gay–he slept with a guy or multiple guys already.
    i was crashed.
    in the next 3 weeks, he kept liking my social networks moment status but barely talked. one of my friends talked to him asked him if we can have a talk and sort it out he said yes and he thinks by looking at my ‘happy’ pictures he thinks i look good. he once asked me to get his diploma back cos he forgot to take it with him. i agreed and asked him to come and renew my car’s insurance cos i was very busy he agreed right away. but he postponed it for 3 times and stopped mentioning it.
    then he posted on his social network where he blocked me already but our mutual friends could still see and one of them showed it to me. its something to his boyfriend. saying he loves his kiss, his hugs and he is awesome. then i stopped sharing my new status on social network with him but he can still see my old ones. yesterday he sent me a message saying he wants his stuffs back(his diploma) i did not reply to him cos i’m following the NC rule.

    all of my friends said i should give up on him.but i still want him back. he is bisexual but not gay. can a bi turn into gay just in a few days?

    should i still follow the NC rule for 45 days(cos he’s sleeping with a guy now) then follow the text techniques? do you think the chances i get him back is high?

    he never dated anyone before me. i only dated one guy before him. i believed we are true love but don’t know if i can save it…..

    i’m obsessed with how to get him back and i want him back so bad. even my friends are against me.

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:57 pm

      You want your husband back?

  24. Krystal
    June 13, 2014 | 1:14 am

    Hi Chris,
    I read your site often and must i say its cleverly put together. I’m glad there are people out there like you willing to help.
    I was wondering if someone could please give me some advice.
    My bf of 3 yrs is going through a life changing situation right now. He broke up with me a 11 days ago. He says its just his feelings & he needs to stay away from me. His court date is in 12 days from now.

    I’m wondering if he’s in a rebound relationship or not (he hasn’t been with her too long, maybe less than 3 or 4 weeks).
    Do I have any chance to get him back from her?
    Do I wait until after his court to see what happens?
    Should I open the line of communication up again?

    P.S. thank you, sorry its a little long :)

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:50 pm

      How long has he been dating the new girl?

      • Krystal
        June 18, 2014 | 4:34 am

        Hi Chris,
        Sorry i didn’t get back to you sooner… On June 1st he said he hasn’t been with her ‘too long’ I’m assuming maybe 5 or 6 weeks at the most. His court is in less than 8 days. It seems he has completely cut me out if his life, it hurts, as I’m sure you can imagine. I don’t know what to do Chris…
        I’m just wondering if i should wait to see what happens after his court date (he might have to voluntarily leave this country, he has a 30-70% chance of staying.)
        Is she a rebound? Is it possible that I can get him back?
        What would your advice be?? Sorry there’s so many questions… I’m just in a lot of pain right now & don’t know what to do. Thank you again for your response it’s greatly appreciated. :D

      • Krystal
        June 18, 2014 | 5:02 am

        This is all what he has told me over the phone… He didn’t sound at all excited about being with someone new, he sounded very sad (which isn’t like him at all when we talk on the phone usually). Could he be lying??
        Thank you sorry the posts are so long… It would be so helpful to have your point if view. Thank you :)

      • Krystal
        June 18, 2014 | 5:13 am

        I haven’t been in contact with him since June 1st so i don’t know his situation now. I just have an initiative feeling that he could be lying.
        Anyways thank you so much :)

  25. B
    June 12, 2014 | 8:58 am

    Hello,

    You would make my day if you replied to me!!!

    It’s been 4 months now since my breakup.
    And before I got introduced to your guide I tried my best to get her back during this month.

    Started when I was in a state of anger when I told her that: I should be away, I need to focus on my work and make changes in my life.
    But wait a sec I didn’t mean it I just wanted to make action in our relationship and wanted her to need me more and show more feelings.
    A lot of arguments took place ended by me not talking to her for 3 days.

    After coming back and trying to talk to her, she’s not her anymore I knew she got hurt from her sis and I knew it was my mistake.
    We had a conversation on the phone telling that she just want us as friends not more and she can’t see me for a while.(later she mentioned that she’s not willing to see me for ever).
    She told me she’s tired of having close people in her life and she will stop getting close to anybody until it’s a serious relationship which will lead to engagement or whatever.

    After that she knew that I was sick and she showed care of always checking on me how my health is developing
    Her sister tried to fix it. But it ended in a fight between them telling her not to talk about this.

    I kept calling her from time to time to check about her she was replying normally but with an attitude of hey am not coming back to you, sometimes twice a week or ones a week, cuz once I promised her that whatever happens I will always be next to her and ask about her. And I feel by not talking to her she’ll think that am not a man who keeps a promise.
    I got so sick later and her sister told her that I will have a critical surgery in my stomach and then booom here’s the change, she didn’t call or even text to check about me. Knowing that she knew that am talking to her sis that is my friend and they had a fight one more time telling her sister not to contact me or talk to me anymore, and that she’s not gonna talk to me at all.

    Been 2 months with no contact and i knew she has now a new boyfriend,and She seems happy now with the new guy

    And since the breakup till now its 4 months.

    I know and no doubt she still has feelings to me.
    But shes trying to show that she’s over it now but her statuses and pictures on whatsapp and I feel she’s trying to show that she’s getting close to someone else.

    Please advice me what to do, I know you may not reply, but you’d make my day if you guide me.

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:35 pm

      Hi there,

      Have you tried checking out my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

  26. Sam
    June 12, 2014 | 6:45 am

    Hey, so I know this isn’t what this article is about but I met this guy just last weekend, we really hit it off. I had to give him and his friend a ride jome, he asked me to stay, but I had to drive some other friends home. After I took my other friends home, I went back to his place and spent the night with him. We kinda got a little hot, and then I’d stop him, because I didn’t want “this to end up as a one night stand”, he’d assure me it wouldn’t, and we’d talk a little. He stayed cuddled with me all night and then in the morning, we talked and laughed and goofed off. Then we got a little hot again and I stopped him again. We went for a walk outside and talked some more, then I had to leave and took him to his truck. He told me if I wanted to come hang later, to hit him up. So it ended up that I had to wait for some friends to get off work before I could get my stuff and had nothing to do, I asked him if he wanted to hang out. He told me he was at the gym and would text me a little later. A couple hours passed, nothing. So I texted him and he said he was playing basketball. I ended up having to spend the night in town before I could head home, so I asked him if I could stay over again. He told me “Probably not. I need to get a full nights rest.” I said alright and stayed with some other friends. He ended up blocking me on Facebook and now won’t answer my texts. I’m confused at what I did wrong and thought everything was ok. I told him that I didn’t think he was that guy, and if he really wanted to talk to me, he would. And that I’ve never been rejected or thrown away this quickly before. And that I was thoroughly confused by his actions. Any advice on what to do?

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:33 pm

      NC him.

  27. Kelsey Williams
    May 28, 2014 | 3:04 pm

    Hi I dated this guy and we really hit it off were young I’m a junior and he’s a senior in highschool we are so close and where during our relationship we told each other everything like what we were doing that night our deepest secrets and we texted 24/7 we had sex and were super close after that too later on our parents found out and my mom freaked out we made it through that and we stayed close and our relationship got stronger. He started talking about marrying me and having kids with me about a month ago he signed to be a marine and everything was still great we had it all planed out but then a week ago he out of the blue breaks up with me nobody knew about it he didn’t even tell his brothers about it. He also broke up with me over text on our 6 month anniversary he told me we were moving to fast and that I deserve someone better. Monday I went to go give him his stuff back and we talked he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship he kept telling me he loved me and when we went to hug and say goodbye he kept touching me like it would be the last time he ever did he held my hands and kissed me and hugged me some more then he started crying trying to put me back in the car I was crying so hard. We both finally calmed down and I had to wipe away his tears I told him that I loved him so much and I didn’t hate him and that he would always be my baby I told him I would look and try to find someone else but it would be hard and if I didn’t find someone who made me feel the way he made me feel then I would wait for him until he was ready he then asked me what if he met someone where ever he got stationed I told him I would wait and fight for us until the day he says I do to her. He begged me to still be friends so sometimes we snapchat or sometimes we text. I really want him back fast how can I get him back and make him miss me and want me more than ever now?

    • admin
      May 29, 2014 | 3:23 pm

      18 years old and talking about having kids already…

      Were you two talking about going to college?

  28. Terrible GF (now Ex)
    May 27, 2014 | 2:22 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend & i have been dating for three and a half years and live together for 2. Recent went through my phone and read my whatsapp conversation that I had with one guy. Most were pretty normal day-to-day stuff like hows work? Or Are you going to that event? And random chit chat. But then it got to a point where he messaged me that he likes me, and i just brushed off the conversation. Eventually we would messages each other flirty things, but nothing sexual. I didnt enjoy texting him these things but i honestly liked the attention from someone else- not that I didnt get from my bf. The this guy and i had a fall out, because he asked me to break up with my bf for him & i told him i couldnt and didnt want to. so we stopped talking for a few months. Then he asked me to go for lunch- i met up with him, he asked how my relationship was- i said great, he asked- does he have a chance and i said no. and that was the end of our flirting messaging session. But now my boyfriend is convinced that i have been cheating on him with this guy- which i did. But never did I have sex or kiss this guy. And my ex finds this very hard to believe, I dont blame him either. how can I get to realize that I’m telling the truth, or how can I fix this?

    • admin
      May 28, 2014 | 2:34 pm

      Ya… if I found out my girlfriend had done that to me I would probably sit her down and talk to her about how hurt I was that she would flirt with another guy that way. Alos, going out to lunch with someone you know has a crush on you is not smart. You knew he liked you so why go out with him and risk potentially losing your boyfriend?

  29. Clare
    May 21, 2014 | 10:26 am

    Thx for the keeping-it-real website. Hope you can help.
    I’m very independent so tend to not do the relationship thing. However, as fate would have it I met someone really cool, we went out for 2 weeks, but he broke it off because I was too closed.
    He was the one who did all the messaging, calling and organising while we were going out. I know I messed up and told him to give me time but he doesn’t want to give me a second chance. I know 2 weeks is nothing major, but considering it takes a lot for me to be interested I don’t want to walk away just yet. Do the same rules apply or will the 30 day no contact rule just mess things up more? Or should I just give up considering it was such a short thing?

    • admin
      May 21, 2014 | 4:04 pm

      If you were to get him back do you think you could try opening up more the next time around?

      Also, a shorter NC period.

  30. nthabi
    May 20, 2014 | 1:48 pm

    Ok so me and my ex-boyfriend broke about a month ago and I’m on day 21 with NC…I’m trying to think of a way to break the no-contact, what would be the best way?

  31. Ashley Faj
    May 17, 2014 | 1:27 pm

    We officially broke up over 2 weeks ago. We’ve been together for 9 months. I told him I love him but he couldnt say it back. He said he doesn’t feel anything for anyone. I don’t believe that. I know deep inside him, he loves me. Even my friends think so. He has commitment issues, where he says he pulls away when things get serious. We agreed we’d be friends though. But deep down, im still hoping we’d get back together, thinking the friendship would build a stronger rel’p for us. He even agreed to hanging out on a regular basis. After the breakup, texting each other ensued for 2 days until he just suddenly didnt reply. I texted him the next day and found out he was out of town with his family. I told him that itd be best if i dont contact him for a while. I thought i need to get used to not being his gf anymore who constantly worries what he’s doing and where he is all the time. But 3 days later, i thought that was pathetic so i sent him a msg on fb. He replied but after a few exchange of msgs, he stopped texting back. Sent him a text next morning, and the level of care he showed lowered. He only answered my questions and when i didnt ask any, he stopped replying again. That was over a week ago and i havent sent him any texts since then. Im feeling desperate. Any advice on where do i go from here? Thanks a lot.

    • admin
      May 20, 2014 | 8:46 pm

      What was the issues with the breakup. What do you think caused it I mean?

  32. Lana
    May 16, 2014 | 3:48 pm

    How many days interval do you suggest would be good between these texts conversations, if he reacts positively?

    Thanks.

    • Lana
      May 17, 2014 | 7:22 am

      Also, I’m a little confused. It has happened a few times. He reacts positively but then changes the topic a little to share his plans with his buddies with me (he even includes the details sometimes), without actually offering any sort of invitation.

      From a guy’s POV, what do you believe is the reason for this?

      • admin
        May 20, 2014 | 8:40 pm

        What kind of plans does he share?

        • Lana
          May 21, 2014 | 4:25 pm

          Occasionally just normal day-to-day plans, mostly weekend plans and most recently,his near-future plans with his life.

          Any ideas what could be the reason for this topic deviation during text conversations?

          Thanks again.

    • admin
      May 20, 2014 | 8:28 pm

      1-2… sometimes no day wait. Depends on how positive his response is.

  33. Lauren
    May 16, 2014 | 4:16 am

    So my boyfriend and I were fighting a lot and even when he said it was over he tried to kiss me and I wash just hurt that I didn’t let him, then he said he wanted to start out as friends again and build it up, but I said I couldn’t just be friends – he took this as more rejection. For the last 4 months he has been trying his hardest to earn back my trust for almost dumping me before, and I have made him work hard for it, a mistake I now regret because he got sick and tired of trying, I know I treated him badly and when he took some time out to ‘see if he could forget the bad feelings i caused him’, i bombarded him with texts saying how sorry I was. About 4 days ago I pushed him for an answer and he said nothing had changed, that my messages had given him clarity because they came too late and I asked and asked and he was forced to say he never wants to see me again ever.. My question is, I have since been to therapy and done a lot of thinking – since this has been about a month coming, not just 4 days – and have really gotten to the bottom of why I treated him that way and it wasn’t his fault, I have written like 6-7 pages about it and why I felt how I felt and how I take full responsibility, I feel like he should really know this before I take a month to try and re-talk to him because he will not be interested at all.. He moved on from his last girlfriend very quickly because he had me as a friend, and similarly, now he has a new friend he hangs out with all the time who is a girl. I need him to know I’ve seriously thought about it, not just in a moment of desperation.. Even if it doesn’t mean we get back together, he’s an incredible person I just need him to know I wasn’t always like that and Im working on a change. Also it is my birthday in 2 weeks and if I start NC i feel like if he is slightly less angry than he was before, he may text me and I want to say thank you.. I am trying to give him space because I bombarded him before, but I don’t want him to think I’ve given up or that I’m not seriously sorry for how I acted and that I can recognise this entire thing is really my fault.. Should I send him the letter now or wait until he has cooled down more, because in a month if i send it then, it won’t be a fresh start, it will be me revisiting all the things I did….. helllllp

    • Lauren
      May 18, 2014 | 4:34 am

      Also he posted one gif set of John Mayer singing Neon on his tumblr, I don’t know whether I should apply that to me, since the next day he is letting his new friend who is a girl, take pictures of random shit on his phone and post it to instagram, so I know she knows his code even though he says they’re just friends they’re together every day and he pays for her food and they go out to cafe’s for lunch or dinner and shit, don’t ask me how I know this but he isn’t making it public knowledge, except for these photos with stupid hashtags that I don’t know whether they’re meant for me to see them and be more heartbroken or not, I’m here writing him 5000 word emails about the flaws in my behaviour while he is off everyday with this girl he says is a friend but he ‘wants to be alone’, also I was really good friends with his mum and I want to call her and speak to her just to see if he is happy, maybe she will help, I know it sounds stupid as I write it but i keep thinking I’m over it but I need something to change now, I can’t eat or sleep, I get sent home from work, meanwhile he is off going shopping with his new girl friend.. And I know its bad because he had me every day to go shopping with him that when he left his old girlfriend he didn’t give 2 shits and didn’t respond to her ever again….. :’(

      • admin
        May 20, 2014 | 8:52 pm

        Sounds like there is a big double standard here to me.

    • admin
      May 20, 2014 | 6:28 pm

      Sounds to me like he was trying to get you back but you kept rejecting him and he started losing hope.

      • Lauren
        May 21, 2014 | 8:17 am

        I know!! And now I realise any problems I had with him before aren’t really important, he is an amazing guy and I tend to push people away to see if they will stay and its messed up and everything but Ive changed, I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks and I’ve seen a psychologist and I just want to apologise… but he won’t speak to me and Im sure this new girl is just helping him get over me please help please I need him to not hate me and to understand I didn’t do it on purpose or to hurt him

        • admin
          May 21, 2014 | 3:59 pm

          Ya but the more you push at this stage the more you may push her further into the new girls arms.

  34. Feeling worried
    May 15, 2014 | 1:27 pm

    My ex and I broke up a month ago. I haven’t said a single word to him since the breakup. I’ve seen him around a couple of times and I just turn my face or pretend I haven’t noticed him. During no contact he hasn’t tried to speak to me but has posted a couple of things on Facebook about “exes”. In the past week I’ve been running into one of his good friends and we’ve hung out a little bit at uni. Yesterday, I walked his friend to his class and it turned out my ex had that class and he saw us (I really wasn’t expecting my ex to be there). I hung out with his friend again today, it reallly isn’t on purpose, it’s just he’s a nice person. I’m worried my ex will see this as some pathetic attempt to get back together or make him jealous? (It isn’t!). Should I avoid his friend?

  35. Darren
    May 9, 2014 | 1:32 pm

    So my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and a half , it wasnt anything official , because we are both still in the closet and trying to come out, everything was going ok we did occasionally have fights from time to time , he was very understanding and he was always there for me . Then one day i started complaining about all my problems he just stopped texting me and then on the Monday he said he never responded to any of my texts because he spent the night at another guys house. That kinda broke me inside and he said he is telling me because he cares about me. Which left me feeling very confused , he said he didn’t want to break up but i acted on emotion i was very hurt and he didnt want to speak to me as often , he said he was stressed and too busy and he started switching his phone off. I freaked out and told him i loved him and i kept sending him text for 3 days eventually he got irritated and told me i was acting like a psycho and when i told him that he doesn’t care and that he didnt love me anymore he said he can’t be with me when im on this state of mind and then he said he would never stop loving me and that he does really care about me. I did text him over the weekend telling him not to sleep with another guy and saying that i loved him and that i needed to speak to him. He never replied and i guess i felt really confused and so i deleted his number off my phone to stop myself from texting him , i deleted all the messages and i guess its been 4 days since ive spoken to him. Im worried that he might forget about me completely he assured me that he would never lead me on but now its all up to him and its just a waiting game now. It kinda drives me abit insane and i kinda regret doing that what do i do now ?

    • admin
      May 9, 2014 | 3:46 pm

      Why didn’t you make it official?

      A year and a half is a long time.

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