If you want to get your ex boyfriend to talk to you again then you are going to have to do some work. I am assuming, since you are reading this page on my site, that right now you and your ex boyfriend aren’t on speaking terms. Every single day I get a minimum of at least twenty emails from women who are all over the place emotionally because they aren’t on speaking terms with their ex. So, trust me when I say that you are not alone with how you are feeling right now. Of course, before I dive in to the good stuff there are a few things that I need to make you aware of.

Neediness/Desperation = No Talking

What is the first thing that you want to do after a breakup, especially if you aren’t ok with it? You probably want to contact your ex, ask how he is doing, beg a little bit and eventually get upset because he isn’t giving you the time of day. I want to tell you something about men, seeing as how I am one and know what it is like when a girl contacts me in the way I described above. To men, any sign of neediness or desperation, and make no mistake about it, begging and crying display those qualities, are a complete turn off. Of course, there will always be the oddball guy that is so pathetic that he actually feeds off of making women beg and cry but usually those are very rare.

So, if you want to get on speaking terms with your ex again you are going to have to do things that aren’t perceived as needy or desperate. The only question is, how do you do that?

I am glad you asked….

The No Contact Rule

no contact ignore

The no contact rule is something I talk a lot about in my PRO system but more on that later…

Rather than texting or facebooking your ex every five minutes, a woman who wants to take control of the situation with her ex will implement something called a no contact rule. I am sure you have heard of it before. Basically, for 30-90 days you cut off all communication with your ex. Now, I am not going to lie to you. Successfully completing the NC rule for a minimum of 30 days is going to take a tremendous amount of discipline. I would say that about 90% of the women that come to this site will fail at this. It’s unfortunate too because the NC rule is probably the most effective tactic that you can use to not only get your ex boyfriend back but to get on speaking terms with him.

What if my ex told me to never contact him again? Will the no contact rule still work?

The no contact rule is supposed to accomplish more than just cutting yourself off from your ex. Most likely, if your ex boyfriend says something like “never contact me again” he is really hurt by something you did or just the breakup in general. By implementing a no contact period you let time go by for him to calm down emotionally. Most women think their ex is being an “a-hole” after the breakup but if you look at the situation logically from his point of view you can understand why he is acting a way that you are not used to. Your boyfriend may have put a lot of stock into your relationship and when it didn’t work out he got so frustrated that he has a “lash out” defense mechanism which is where the “never contact me again” comes from.

ignore himOther ways the NC rule can help you get on talking terms with your ex again.

When most people teach their website visitors to use the no contact rule they teach them the basics (don’t contact your ex for a set amount of days.) However, 99% of my peers are forgetting quite possibly the most important part of the no contact rule, you can use the time away from your ex to improve yourself. Now, when I say “improve yourself” I am not just talking about getting in the right mindset and all that nonsense. I am talking about physically as well. Men are very visual creatures and I am not going to lie to you, they will have no problem breaking up with a girl if they are… overweight, have skin issues or if they consider them to be too ugly. I know that is a harsh thing for me to say but I am just going to give it to you straight.

You are REQUIRED to use this time to improve yourself physically as much as you can. This will not only make your ex go “wow” if he ever sees you in public again but it will make any mutual friends that you may both have go “wow” as well. Why is that important? Because if there is anything I have learned in my years here on earth it is that friends are blabber mouths ;). That means, if his friends think you are looking better than ever then he will eventually hear it and get curious.

Of course, I will admit that the probability of a friend seeing you and squealing to your ex that you look amazing isn’t very high. That is where Facebook comes in. Yes, even Facebook is a great get your ex speaking to you again tool. Nearly 90% of Facebook users admit that they stalk their ex via their profile. You can bet your butt that your ex boyfriend, no matter how bad the breakup was, will be looking at your profile. So, what better way for you to show off the new you to him by taking a picture and posting it on your profile?

How To Get Him To Talk To You Again

attention

If you implement the no contact rule like I suggest above I would estimate that 40% of the time your ex will reach out and try to talk to you. Most people don’t respond well to silence and if your ex feels like you are ignoring him, which you are, he will go a little crazy trying to get a hold of you.

In fact, if you search around in the comments section of this website you will find multiple cases where exes have gone so crazy during the no contact rule that they have resorted to doing things like:

  • Saying things on Facebook to try to bait you into calling them.
  • Getting your brothers phone and calling you.
  • Sending angry messages to you via text.
  • Showing up at your house and banging on your door.
  • Sending you an email.
  • Sending you a letter.

(Yes, all of these examples were taken from the comments section of this website.)

The goal of this page is to get your ex to talk to you again and as you can see, the no contact rule alone can accomplish that feat. Of course, like I said above, only 40% of the time it will work out. So, the question now becomes “how do you get on speaking terms with them if they don’t take the bait during NC?”

Reaching Out Via Text Message

miss you

(Before you spend any time reading this section I want you to go pick up a copy of The Texting Bible. Through that book you will have a great understanding of texting your ex after the no contact rule.)

In the event that your ex doesn’t get back in touch with you then you are going to have to take matters into your own hands a little bit. The way you can do that is by sending a text to him. However, you have to send your text a certain way and you have to understand that the more disciplined you are during your conversation with him the better off you will be.

Before I dive in to the rules of texting your ex I think it is important to mention that YOU SHOULD ONLY TEXT YOUR EX AFTER THE NO CONTACT RULE. If you weren’t on speaking terms with him immediately after the breakup then hopefully the minimum time frame of 30 days will have settled him down enough for him to accept and respond to your texts.

The Rules Of Texting An Ex Boyfriend

  • It’s all about control, you want to control every aspect of the conversation you can.
  • Ending the conversation first is a must.
  • If you want to get back on speaking terms with him then you have to understand that you need to keep your first few texts to him very short.

What Is A Good Text To Send Him?

If I could give my mind to all the women who want their ex boyfriend back I would… well I wouldn’t because I like my mind but I think you get what I am trying to say. The best way I can describe the “ideal” first text to send your boyfriend after a no contact period is like this:

Your text has to be so interesting that it will be impossible for him not to respond.

Now, there are multiple ways to create an “interesting” text. I am going to give you an example below:

The Confession

This text will require some thought but the chances of him responding are high. Basically, you text your ex the following “I have a confession to make…” It should look something like this.

I have a confession to make

The point with this text message is to raise his curiosity. He will probably think something like “What could she possibly want?” Now, your work isn’t quite over yet.

What To Do If He Responds

Expect him to respond with something like:

  • “What is it?”
  • “Yes?”
  • “What?”

No matter what he says to you DO NOT fall into the trap of responding to him, not yet anyways. I want you to take out a stopwatch or mark the time on your phone because after he responds you are going to have to wait an hour (THAT IS SIXTY MINUTES LADIES.)

Why would you want to do this?

His interest is already raised because you sent him the confession text already but I want his interest raised even more. Right now, you aren’t his top priority. Even if you came up with the most fascinating text in the world you wouldn’t be his top priority. In order to become that top priority you need to stay disciplined. By waiting an hour the chances of him checking his phone for your response every five minutes is raised drastically.

Look, I am a guy and when I really like a girl that I am texting I can’t help but look at my phone every five seconds waiting for her response to my most recent text. By sending him the confession text and getting him to check his phone every five minutes waiting for your response you are going to reinforce the behavior that he is used to when he has strong feelings for a girl. In other words, you will become his top priority.

Actually, I wouldn’t be shocked if something like the example below happens to you.

text example 2

What To Say When The One Hour Is Up

So, he’s responded to your confession text, you’ve waited the full hour, now what? Here is where things get really interesting. I want you to read The Texting Bible and pick out a text there to text him. You have his attention and now it is time for you to send him something positive that will fill him with good romantic feelings towards you. Now, no matter what happens after that I want you to end this conversation thread with him by not responding. If he doesn’t respond to your “confession” it’s ok because you are not responding. If he responds to your confession, I don’t care how enticing it is, I don’t want you to respond with anything. I want you to show that you are in control of the conversation and you have the power, not him.

What To Do If He Doesn’t Respond To You “I have a confession to make…”

There will be a small percentage of women whose boyfriends are so angry with them that they won’t respond even if they have waited a month via NC and sent the ideal text message. If you are one of these women then it is important NOT TO PANIC. Your ex is clearly trying to tell you something here and you have to respect it. He needs more space and you are going to have to wait some more time before you reach out to him again. I would say that if you wait 15 more days without any contact and try again with a different variation of the “I have a confession to make…” text then you might have some success.

Last Word

I want you to understand that I wrote this page with it’s sole intent being to help YOU get back on speaking terms with your ex. I feel I have accomplished that by showing you some very effective methods to get him to talk to you again. Now, I do realize that I didn’t go into what to do after you open up communication with him to get him back but that was only because I wanted this page to focus on the initial “opening up” of communication with your boyfriend. If you want to learn more about how to get your ex back then I suggest you visit my complete guide on doing so. Also, I am very involved with this site so if you leave a comment I will be responding to it. That is a guarantee!

1,508 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

  1. Avatar

    Sasha

    October 15, 2019 at 4:49 am

    Hello,

    My bf and I were together for 9 months. We have both been previously married with children, him with a 16 y/o, me with a 5 and 7 y/o. During our entire relationship, he was there to support me through a nightmare of a divorce (which is finally at the final stages). 6 months into our relationship, my soon to be ex-husband wanted me to sign a court doc that said I wouldn’t take our kids and move in with my bf. Since we talked about everything, I told him joking about it and we laughed…for a minute. He then told me he loved me but wasn’t ready to get married although he may be ready down the road. I said yes I got it but he kept going over it and I got mad and said I couldn’t marry someone whom I hadn’t even met their son. In the same week his mother had a stroke. His mom is his BEST FRIEND.

    Anyway, with his protests and my upset And his mother, we were both angry and he felt like we were broken up despite me trying to talk to him every day about things. He would talk about his mom and I would visit her, but he would refuse to speak about our relationship. This went on for 2 weeks until
    I put my foot door and said enough. That we had to talk this out after he returned from a business trip (the night before his birthday). Anyway we started texting again while he was away for 4 days and he started telling me he loved me again but I found a NEW profile on Match.com that he put up while away. I confronted him and he said that he felt scared and hurt by me walking away and me breaking up with him. He removed it immediately and said sorry and we repaired our relationship.

    Things were good for the next 3 months. We grew together and got closer, or so I thought. I think he had one foot in and one foot out the whole time. I found out at 9 Months that he was sexting with other girls. He swears he was physically cheating but I walked out again. I felt so broken and hurt. I thought this
    Might be the man I would marry eventually and I felt so lost. He tried to talk to me but I refused to listen. I demanded he go to therapy and get help and then maybe we could talk in the future. He said ok but then the next day showed up with all of my things for his apt.

    He went back to the dating sites which just broke me all over again and I handled it badly and I yelled and cried. He first came back and told me he loved me and was sorry for hurting me and told me he needed to get his shit together. He told me he didn’t want to lose me as part of his life but I push him away because he wasn’t all in. After than, he shut down completely. That was in June. We haven’t talked soon. I tried to send a text and a fresh start email to him in July which he ignored. I went to his house in August when I thought I was going to trial and he texted me and asked me to leave and not contact him again. I’m Sept, I sent him a pic of my completing a race we had talked about doing together and he didn’t respond. 2 weeks later, I sent an email apologizing for breaking up with him in March and hurting him and not trusting in his feelings for me. That’s when he completely freaked out. He told me “never to contact him again. He has moved on. He is done with this relationship. Do not respond. He may have to contact the authorities if I contact him again”. WTF?? Where did that come from??

    I’m very lost and heartbroken and not sure where to go from here. Do I even take the chance of contacting him after 30 days? I know he loves me and I know I hurt him. Other than his ex wife, I’m the only person who has ever left him. But he was a good person. Our communication was just just misdirected and clearly still is.

    What do you think??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 15, 2019 at 7:15 pm

      Hey Sasha so yes its worth reaching out after your NC if youre going to put in some work on yourself and get to the point where you are happy (alone)
      Approach him as a friend as your first contact NOT as getting him back from the start

  2. Avatar

    Baby W

    October 7, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    It’s been 2 weeks and 1 days since my bf has completely stopped talking to me as when we had a deadly fight with each other, I involved his family ( didn’t do that on purpose but in anger) due to which he said he won’t be seeing me anymore ever in his life. Honestly speaking, I can’t take this anymore. Feels suicidal at times due to this nor did I even attended my classes since 1 month because our fight started from an argument which happened a month ago. I even wrote a letter to him and posted it by my own self straight to his University. Next day on 28th Sept. He gave me a missed call and when I rang him back, Sadly I found that my number was still blocked…. Please, do help me out of my current plight. I shall remain ever beholden to you…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 9, 2019 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Baby W your best bet right now is to seek professional support to deal with your emotions and get your life back on track. Thats most important that you work on being happy again – happy in your own company, happy in your own skin, happy with your life without him FIRST. Then work on getting the connection with your ex and building that up again

  3. Avatar

    S

    July 14, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Its been 3 weeks and 3 days since he broke up with me and its been hell. We did not end things well and he was very mean. I made a unforgiving comment that was somewhat true. :you dont act straight half the time anyway: and that’s because he was standoffish allot and didn’t want to have sex with me and was very confusing. Anyway I texted him too soon four days later he was still angry and replied, leave me the f alone I dont want to talk to you ever. Move on. Thanks. Since then I have called twice left a vm once not a desperate one. And texted periodically things like I’m sorry ..sorry for distracting you and just mostly apologizes only two of which were somewhat lengthy. I should probably tell you that a few days after the break up he blocked me on social.media and hasnt changed that since. Do I have any hope or am I just at a loss..I miss the companionship and to make matters worse he lives super close. So I always have the urge to drive by. I stopped by uninvited and unexpected but he opened the door and said I need to leave so I did I had a letter short letter I had written but he wanted nothing to do with it. I just wish I could have some sort of response and corgatlity. Please help.!!

  4. Avatar

    Sarah

    April 22, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    Hi, Chris!
    It’s been one month since my boyfriend dumped me. I was absolutely devastated, and I still am. We were together for five and a half years. I truly feel that we are meant to be together, and I am willing to do anything to show him that, so right now, I’m doing the no contact rule. I’ve seen varying times on different sites, so I’m not sure how long to go. I’m aiming for 8 weeks. But I’m really afraid that no matter how long I wait, he will never listen to anything I have to say. He was really angry when we broke up, and of course I made it even worse by desperately messaging him a bunch (with no response or an occasional “leave me alone”) the first couple of weeks because I just couldn’t accept it; he’d never even given me a reason. So anyway, I’m just really afraid that he will never be receptive to anything I have to say, no matter how long I wait. Is that something that happens? Is there anything I can do if he never wants to listen to me, other than just continuing to wait?
    Thanks!
    Sarah

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 22, 2019 at 8:21 pm

      HI Sarah…I am so sorry this has been so hard on you. Visit my website and catch up on some of my articles and podcasts that can lift you up. I think NC is the right medicine. You should consider picking up my epic long eBook, “EBR PRO” as it can help you thru this process.

  5. Avatar

    May

    March 23, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Hey Chris!
    My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago. We had been best friends for years, and he was pursuing me the entire time (I kept saying no to his advances because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship). When I finally said yes, we dated for only 5 months before he said he needed time to himself and he thinks he’s too young for a serious relationship (he’s 20 and I’m 21). Of course immediately after the break up, I did all the dumb stuff I shouldn’t have– asked him to consider giving us another chance, telling him I needed him in my life, etc… However, it’s been 2 months of us not really talking. I’m in a much better place than I was, and I know I don’t need him in my life. Within the last month, I’ve tried to reach out to him. I’ve tried to start conversations, but they fizzle out pretty quick. I’ve invited him out (with other mutual friends of course) and he always says no. I don’t know if I should just stop trying? I’m not even sure I want him to be my boyfriend again, I just miss him being in my life because he truly was my best friend before all of this, but do you think he’s too far gone to try and recover that relationship?

  6. Avatar

    Paige

    November 9, 2018 at 1:48 am

    Hi Chris,

    It has been two months post breakup (I am actually very happy it happened it pushed me to make a long list of changes with myself and my happiness). I have figured out almost all of the issues that led to the breakup, although for the first 4-5 weeks I was on and off contact with him trying to get him to give us a chance. To which he said he does not want to. I am on day 20 of NC and he has not contacted me since the last time we spoke and he said he needs to move on.
    In the time since I have had surgery that he knew about and did not say anything, I feel like an idiot for even trying again when NC is up as he already said no. I know that the negative emotions have subsided by now, although he is quite stubborn on this and I think i’m just setting myself up for failure.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 9, 2018 at 3:39 am

      Hi Paige!

      That is positive that you made so many meaningful changes for the good! Just follow thru with your plan as I advocate in my program. If he chooses not to give it another try, its his loss. And you will know that you did everything reasonable to salvage the relationship. Stand proud for your efforts.

  7. Avatar

    Paige

    November 8, 2018 at 9:40 pm

    Hi Chris,

    It has been two months post breakup (I am actually very happy it happened it pushed me to make a long list of changes with myself and my happiness). I have figured out almost all of the issues that led to the breakup, although for the first 4-5 weeks I was on and off contact with him trying to get him to give us a chance. To which he said he does not want to. I am on day 20 NC since the last time he said he does not want to try and have also told some mutual friends that I am seeing someone else (but made it clear it was very casual and not exclusive). My worry is that I should not reach out after NC as he already told me he needs to move on, but I truly believe he would fall for me even harder this time if he could see how amazing i’ve become.
    I can’t help but feel like and idiot if I reach out when he said he needs to move on, and he hasn’t spoken to me since, AND in the time since I have had surgery that he knows about and he said nothing.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 11:33 pm

      Hi Paige!

      My advice to to follow the way I teach NC in my program. There are a lot of pieces to the puzzle. I disuses at length in my eBooks and on my site.

  8. Avatar

    Emily Lai

    September 6, 2018 at 3:42 pm

    Hi Chris apparently my told me we shouldn’t be friends Anymore and he hasn’t contact me in 2 weeks when I didn’t contact him and I really miss him but when I suggest meeting up with him he last week of August on Sunday he said nope to me then told me that he will see me in school as an expression I really don’t what to do to get him to talk to me and no contact hasn’t been working since he was ignoring me for 2 weeks straight and I haven’t heard from him unless I am the one who had to reach out instead of him and he been ignoring most of my messages so do you think you have any idea of a suggestion I can do about this situations.Thanks so much

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 7, 2018 at 3:43 am

      Hi Emily!

      If what you have been doing isn’t working, time to try a different approach. Perhaps employ no contact, but do it in the sophisticate way I teach. Check out my ebooks, posts, podcasts, and all the resources I have here!

  9. Avatar

    Chana

    September 2, 2018 at 6:17 pm

    Hey, I’m here again. Call me BeenLosing. My ex and I continued to have sex even after he moved on to another girl. One day she saw me coming out of his house and I told her we had sex. As a result, he said he would never speak to me again, blocked me and that was 11 days ago. Not a peep since. Advice?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 2, 2018 at 8:11 pm

      Hi Chana…probably best to go right into no contact as things sound chaotic.

  10. Avatar

    Racheal

    April 24, 2018 at 5:36 pm

    So I have been broken up with my ex since December. He broke up with me because he didn’t feel 100% about me and me in his future, plus he didn’t want to be committed to me anymore and wanted to see other people. He still texted me after that, But not as frequent. We saw each other still but it started getting less an less. To the point where he told me it would be weird to hangout for while since we are ex’s. At this point I probably went a little bit over board telling him I would wait for him to decide what he wanted. He didn’t like this an pushed me away even more saying he didn’t see a future. And that he wasent ready to commit to anyone. I stopped taking to him after this for about a month and then texted him saying I accepted everything he told me and am just trying to work on myself. He responded we had a little conversation and that was it. I texted him again a few days later just to chat. He responded. And I let him end the conversation. He has not tried to initiate anything since. I still care about him but, I feel like when he gets stressed he pushes me away. Should I give up? Or should I keep trying. I was thinking of initiating a meet up after he graduates in a month. Maybe it will be less stressful then?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 24, 2018 at 8:27 pm

      Hi Rachel…thanks for stopping by! No Racheal, I don’t this is the time to completely give up on him. Perhaps he is undergoing a stress period Or maybe the pairing of the you and he is not ideal. I don’t know. Do you have my ebook? It helps with optimizing your chances and part of that is utilizing certain attraction building techniques. You will need to get your emotions in check, if indeed your are struggling in that way.

    2. Avatar

      Racheal

      April 26, 2018 at 3:09 am

      I agree I am super emotional about the relationship still and I’m trying my best to think with my head about this, even thinking about therapy. I just feel so awkward now that I have texted him and we had short conversations but now he dosent even try to contact me. Should I wait till he initiates or try to initiate again. We were best friends I just don’t know why it’s so wierd to contact him now. I feel like no contact made things real awkward, now he dosent even want to talk to me. I just don’t want to look desperate. And I have been reading your articles about texting but, I don’t know if it will work on him.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 26, 2018 at 3:19 pm

      Hi again Racheal…as I cover in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, while NC is difficult in many ways, it often will produce results. And a big part of the ex recovery process…is your own recovery. If he loves you and wants you, he will be there for you in the long run. So don’t beat yourself up too much. You can’t control everything. Do me a favor, start journaling. Write down your feelings and thoughts. That will help you manage through this process.

    4. Avatar

      Racheal

      May 4, 2018 at 11:38 am

      Thanks for your advice Chris I have been trying to create space for myself. My ex initiated contact once but it was very small comment on a picture I had posted and we started having a brief conversation after that. My ex’s graduation is coming up on Sunday, he hasent invited me and I probably would look crazy to go. But I can’t help but feel how important it is to show my support because we basically started school together, an later went to different schools. Do you think sending a text or calling would be appropriate or seeing him in person? Ik I’m suppose to be focusing on me, but I feel like a college graduation is a big deal.

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 4, 2018 at 3:38 pm

      Yes, Racheal..I see your dilemma. It is a big deal, college graduation. So go, look beautiful, but keep a low profile. Give him a text “heads up” that you plan on attending, but tell him you will respect his space. Its a classy move.

  11. Avatar

    Bran

    April 15, 2018 at 1:03 am

    Can I get a guys perspective?

    I recently left my fiance and moved back to CA from the East Coast. We were together for seven years. In the beginning of our relationship, when we would disagree, I would ignore him for days at a time (childish, I know).

    He had problems with his ex-wife and she packed up his kids and moved back to the East Coast from CA. This is where majority of our problems started.

    He started withdrawing from me and I started trying to pull him back in. We went through a lot of back-and-forth and I even kicked him out of our home a couple times because I couldn’t get control of myself and stop once I got going. We would make up and he’d come home and we’d be good for a bit.

    I learned over time to control myself, but anytime we would have a disagreement I’d lose a piece of him at a time.

    He eventually started going out after work with a female co-worker and lying to me about where he was. I caught on after a while. We talked about it and he agreed to end all contact with her.

    A month later he left me to move to the East Coast to be closer to his kids. He came back but didn’t tell me he was coming back and moved in with the “work fling.” We didn’t have any contact for about six months.

    I called him and within a month, we were back together. He made promises to be committed to making us work and I did the same. About seven months later, we both moved to the East Coast. I didn’t like it, so I came home to CA. He eventually followed me back and we were good for a while. Out of the blue, he quit his job and within that same month was gone again.

    We almost broke up, but I swooped in and tried to save us by following him back to NJ. We were really good the first two weeks and them BAM… It all changed when I tried to talk to him about me being home sick. I didn’t plan on going anywhere, I just wanted to get it out in the open so I didn’t act on it.

    He completely shut down and would not communicate with me. For weeks after I tried getting him to open up and it was like a civilian breaking into Fort Knox. Instead of falling into old patterns and behavior, I tried getting him involved in decision making. It got to the point where I was completely shut out, discouraged and left with making the decision to stay in a relationship where I didn’t know what was going on from day to day or leaving and coming back to CA. I left. He is hurt that I left and is now pretending I am non existent.

    How do I get him to open up to me and talk about what’s going on with him so we can start to heal and maybe get back together if this isn’t our final goodbye?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 4:38 am

      Hi Bran…Yep, 7 years is a lot of history…so this chapter of your life is still being written. I sense something needs to change because the off/on pattern is not healthy for the long run. Feelings are hurt and bruised. Have you considered getting some couples counseling?

  12. Avatar

    Cherry

    April 8, 2018 at 2:11 am

    Hi, my ex bf broke up with me 2 months ago, he said because we always argue and not matching, but he know I love him a lot. I still miss him , but someone told me he always looks happy after broke up. Why he move on so fast? 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 10, 2018 at 3:56 am

      I wouldn’t necessarily trust whoever told you that. I can often look happy go lucky when I’m depressed inside. Human beings aren’t always so black and white.

  13. Avatar

    Lama

    April 7, 2018 at 9:02 am

    My ex broke up with me 2 months ago thaat was the second time and both times were after that i broke up with him a few days then i got back to ask him if he still wants us to be together and his answer was no i begged and promised and i know i that i did wrond but now its been two months i contacted him several times ..the thing is am doing every thing you’VE talked about and am ok with my life but i still want him but i dont wanta to contact him any more i want him to contact me he did that before but this time it seems far i thought about all my mistakes and learned alot how could i get him to contact me .. he lives near and his friend are all around my area what could i do ??????!!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      I think you’d really benefit from a strict basic strategy.

      Have you heard of my value chain theory?

  14. Avatar

    Kayla Grubbs

    March 25, 2018 at 9:09 pm

    Hello,

    I broke things off with my boyfriend about six months ago because I thought it was the right decision at the time. Shortly after, I met someone who I believe was a big distraction for me while I was having all of the confusion on whether or not I did the right thing. I was happy for a few months and I began to become unhappy because I realized I made a mistake of leaving my ex. My ex found a rebound girlfriend however. I made contact with him about a month ago and he started by calling me back several times and unblocking me and reaching now and admitting that he still loved me and has now flipped the switch and is cold as ice to me and blocked contact. I would really like to try and fix our broken relationship but there are obviously a lot of roadblocks. What can I do to try and fix my situation?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 1:20 am

      Well, the basic first step even if you were the one to break up with him is to try a period of no contact.

    2. Avatar

      Kayla Grubbs

      April 3, 2018 at 3:16 am

      I have started doing that, I don’t plan on reaching out for another few weeks. What’s the best way to move forward with reaching out?

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 4, 2018 at 12:53 am

      Curiousity!!!

      Seriously, you need to have some curiosity hook in a text message.

  15. Avatar

    Kristen

    March 11, 2018 at 11:07 pm

    Hello,

    I’ve had a few texting conversations with my ex. They are all pretty short. My question is how can I get him to talk to me more throughout the day? I try to make the conversation interesting but he either doesn’t reply at some point or he will take 1-3 days to answer. His responses are all positive/neutral and they’re pretty long, like he will write a lot. Anyway, I want to end on a high note/cliffhanger but I can’t because there isn’t enough buildup for that. How can I leave him wanting more if we don’t send enough text messages? Also, it’s hard to be the one to leave the conversation because he doesn’t answer quick enough for it to be a “conversation”. So I’m always the one waiting for his reply instead of him being anxious for mine. We haven’t talked about the relationship at all and we haven’t flirted yet. What can I do? Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2018 at 5:00 pm

      Hi Kristen,

      How many texts have you exchanged when he stops replying? What topics are you using and how long have you been texting?

  16. Avatar

    Emma

    March 7, 2018 at 12:12 pm

    Hello,

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. I did no contact for a month. I’ve texted him 3 times after the no contact period (each conversation spaced out by a few days) and I got a very positive response each time. We never discussed the relationship. I just used your text ideas and techniques. I ended the first conversation early but the second and third ones, I tried to keep them going. But he never replied back. I didn’t ask him a question or anything but he could’ve kept it going but didn’t. What can I do so that 1) I’m not always reaching out to him first and 2) he wants to keep the conversation going.

    *We broke up because the long distance wasn’t letting him progress in the relationship, he felt his feelings were stuck there. But I am moving to his city for a job in a few months.* We had been in LDR only the last 5 weeks of our relationship.

    Thank you

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2018 at 8:44 am

      Hi Emma,

      End the conversation at high note and in cliffhanger style.

  17. Avatar

    julia

    March 4, 2018 at 7:40 am

    Hi
    Me and my boyfriend were planning to get married. Our parents had been involved. My parents weren’t sure about him. So they were taking some time. My boyfriend ended it saying we shouldn’t hurt our parents. We both love each other a lot but our reason for separation is absolutely unconvincing. He isn’t speaking to me at all. What do I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2018 at 10:31 pm

      Hi Julia,

      How old are you both? How long was your relationship? Since he’s not speaking to you already,try the nc rule.

  18. Avatar

    Maha

    March 3, 2018 at 2:28 pm

    Hi
    Well, me and my boyfriend were pretty serious. We had decided to get married to each other. Our parents were involved too. But my parents weren’t sure about him and this led him to believe he wants to end things with me. I have tried to reason with him but in vain. We both love each other a lot and he doesn’t speak to me anymore.
    I have tried all ways, need help really.

  19. Avatar

    Rose

    February 28, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Hi,
    so me and my ex were totally fine and he seemed loving till the last day before the breakup, until he broke up with me a week ago..
    he said it was never my fault it’s just he feels a little not ready for this
    we were together for only 2 and a half months and in my eyes we were so perfect for eachother, we never had a fight because we got almost everything in common and we were both unerstanding people
    i have to mention that at the same day of the break-up he just got out of an exam in which he did terribley although he studied hard for it for 3 weeks, and now all his exams schedule is messed up and has to stay in university for another year when he was supposed to be done a year and a half ago.
    i know for a fact that he is a nice guy and cheating or being fake was never in his intentions, because my bestfriend is also his bestfriend and i know that my bestfriend wouldn’t be friends with fake people.
    although it sounds like a legitmate reason to break up, i just can’t get convinced that he’s willing to end all the bonding and the really good charm that was between us for something like that, at the same time i can’t force him to love me, i don’t know why is he thinking that way when we didn’t fight even for once or have an argument that could’ve made it bad between us.

  20. Avatar

    Ragini

    February 23, 2018 at 11:37 am

    He wasn’t my boyfriend,we were just close friends but i loved him first of all he used to care about my feelings but now he doesn’t gives it a shit neither makes any efforts to talk to me..i have followed the no communication rule but can’t start the conversation with the confession tactic..coz v were not in a relationship.. what should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 10:30 am

      Hi Ragini,

      choose a different topic and check this one:
      EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

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