I can’t tell you how many clients I work with who literally tell me their ex has blocked them on everything.

If you find yourself in this situation then rest assured that you have come to the right place.

Today I am going to pull back the curtains and show you how to get your ex to unblock you. I am going to do this by showing you success stories of women who’ve been unblocked by their exes.

Also, if you read this article in it’s entirety I am going to tell you the story of what one of my clients had to do to get unblocked by her ex.

What she did was so brilliant that I’ve started recommending it to anyone within earshot.

Let’s begin!

Help! My Ex Blocked Me On Everything

There are really three things that I’d like to cover in this article.

  1. Understanding the difference between a partial block and a full out block.
  2. What success stories can teach us about getting an ex to unblock you
  3. What one of my clients had to do to get her ex to unblock her

Seems pretty straightforward, right?

It’s not.

These three topics will give us a lot to unpack.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Tip #1: The Partial Block Vs. The Full Out Block

Believe it or not but there are two types of categories that being blocked can be divided into.

  1. The Partial Block
  2. The Full Out Block

It always shocks me how many people fail to understand which of these categories they fall into.

Here’s a quick rundown of what each of these mean.

The Partial Block = A situation where your ex has blocked you ALMOST everywhere.

To date, these are the most common ways people communicate with their exes.

  • Texting
  • Phone Calls
  • Facebook Messanger
  • Instagram
  • Snapchat
  • WhatsApp
  • Twitter
  • Tinder
  • Email

And I’m probably forgetting a big “social media platform” but I think you get the picture.

“The partial block” assumes that your ex has blocked you on almost every single platform but they’ve left one small way of getting in contact.

I’d estimate that close to 80% of the clients I work with fall into the category.

The second category is a little more difficult to deal with.

The Full Out Block: Takes a situation where your ex has blocked you EVERYWHERE

Scary, right?

But perhaps nothing is as frightening as what I’d like to talk to you about next.

False Positives With Partial Blocks

If you didn’t already know, all of the clients I work with get access to a special private support group.

(They get extra goodies essentially. )

To date, there are a little over 2,000 members in the group.

Each has gone through a breakup and are there to support you throughout your journey.

Anyways, a few weeks ago I stumbled across this really interesting comment from one of my members,

Essentially what she was saying is that she was curious how the iPhone handled “blocked messages.”

So, she had a friend block her and then she proceeded to send a message to her friend to see how the message behaved.

Predictably, her friend didn’t receive the message.

Unpredictably, her iPhone considered the message “delivered.”

You might be familiar with this language here when you send successful messages.

Turns out you can’t rely on this 100% of the time.

So, how are you supposed to determine if your ex has blocked you via text message.

Honestly, my best piece of advice here is to combine two concepts.

  1. Time
  2. Responsiveness

If a lot of time goes by with your ex not being responsive at all then it is probably a clear indicator that you are blocked.

What is a good time frame to go on?

Honestly, it depends on a lot of factors.

I’d say trust your gut.

Tip #2: What Successes Teach Us About Getting Unblocked

Above I mentioned that I have this special support group for my clients.

Perhaps one of the biggest assets of having a group like that is I get to communicate with people using my program all at once.

I also get to see a lot of success stories.

So, in preparation for this article I decided to look through the group in the last year for success stories when it came to getting unblocked.

My only goal was to determine if I could find any kind of consistency or through line I could use to teach you.

In all, I was able to find seven unblocking success stories.

Unblocking Success Story #1

Lesson Learned = Her ex admitted to unblocking her from time to time to check on her. This might indicate that exes seem to put up a “cool” front so that they look fine on the outside when they aren’t on the inside.

Unblocking Success Story #2: 

Lesson Learned= Be patient apparently.

Unblocking Success Story #3:

Lesson Learned= This particular person has something really interesting to say. Her ex blocked her on Facebook but that didn’t stop her from going out and having a good time. Upon our advice she posted the pictures on Facebook and a week later she gets unblocked.

This would seem to indicate that even if you are blocked your ex still pays attention to your photos.

Unblocking Success Story #4: 

Lesson Learned: This person did something interesting. She determined that she was blocked pretty much everywhere except email. So, if you were paying attention above you’d notice that she would be categorized as a “partial block”

After a few months of communicating through email unblocking became natural.

Unblocking Success Story #5: 

Lesson Learned: This one was inconclusive because she didn’t provide enough data.

Unblocking Success Story #6: 

Lesson Learned: Again, this one isn’t conclusive from an “unblocking” standpoint but she did have something interesting to say from her historical experience when it came to dating.

In her experience exes tend to block you because they are “lashing out.”

She also seems to imply that getting an ex to unblock you is simply a matter of riding it out.

Unblocking Success Story #7: 

Lesson Learned: This woman seems to come down on the side of patience. She states that it is usually only a matter of time before you are unblocked.

Recap Of Lessons Learned

If you are anything like me then you are probably a fiend for connivence and want all of what I just jotted down in one simple place for you to glance at.

Consider this to be your “unblocking” cheat sheet.

  • Exes have admitted to “unblocking” you temporarily to see what you are up to
  • They will pay attention to you on Facebook even when they have you blocked
  • Posting pictures of you going out and having a good time is a good idea
  • If you are in a “partial block” make sure you use your other means of communication
  • One of the primary reasons exes will block you is because they are “lashing out”
  • Patience seemed to be important
  • If you want long enough without doing anything “crazy” your ex can unblock you

Tip #3: The Brilliant Tactic One Of My Clients Used To Get Unblocked

I can’t take credit for this particular tactic even though I’d like to.

For this one I’ll have to nod to my client and thank her for letting me recommend it to you.

Here’s the background.

My client was in a situation where she was in a “partial block.”

She was able to communicate with her ex via text messages but she was blocked completely on Facebook.

Unsure of how to start a conversation with him on how to get him to “unblock her” she decided to do something brilliant.

Her ex was a big fan of the Miami Dolphins.

For those of you overseas that is a football team.

Anyways, Let’s consider her ex a Miami Dolphins super fan.

She happened to be at one of the games and took a bunch of pictures with friends.

Naturally she posted the photos on Facebook and was sure that he’d love to see them. She was literally about to send the pictures manually over text message when she got an idea.

She sent him this text,

This subtly confronted the “blocking” issue and since he was such a super fan he was forced to unblock her to see the pictures.

You see, the brilliant part of this strategy doesn’t lie in the execution but the carrot.

The only reason this worked for her was because she tempted her ex with something she knew he was passionate about.

This wouldn’t have worked if she tried to entice him with ballerina pictures.

The greater the carrot the greater the chances of being unblocked become.

What to Read Next

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98 thoughts on “My Ex Blocked Me On Everything”

  1. Avatar

    Nic

    May 20, 2020 at 10:04 pm

    Hello my ex left me 3 days ago for her ex and blocked me on everyting and said I was going nowhere in life and I just don’t know how to take this I wanna talk to her I wanna reach out and work this out

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 10:15 pm

      Hi Nic you will need to complete a 30 day No Contact before attempting to reach out

  2. Avatar

    Brooke

    May 19, 2020 at 3:36 am

    My ex an I broke up last week and she blocked me on pretty much everything. Instagram, phone, even Venmo! Her and I were best friends before we started dating and this has been a pattern of
    Hers when we fight or argue, to shut me out, block me so she “can’t be in pain seeing me” (from what she says) and then reaches out months later. Idk if this will happen again this time around but I miss her like hell and want to give her that space but also don’t want to let go

  3. Avatar

    Lisa

    May 17, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up four months ago. Although I wouldn’t leave him alone to begin with he never responded to my messages but he didn’t block me. I have had no contact whatsoever for one month and only one neutral text sent in the last 2 months, but then 4 days ago he blocked me on WhatsApp but nowhere else. I’m just curious as to the timing of this because it seems very random and why he would actually go through the effort of blocking me because although minimal it certainly takes more effort than just not clicking on my story (which would have been the only thing he saw of me) when I was leaving him alone.

  4. Avatar

    Min

    May 10, 2020 at 4:29 pm

    Hey Chris, need your help pls… I broke up with my ex 2 months ago and he blocked me after we broke up. But that was partial block so I reached out and he unblock me then we agreed to be fwb. Since then I have been acting like a crazy needy gf. I texted him all the time and he just ignored my message and I getting more crazy after he ignored the texts. He is acting real cold and he blocked me on everything two weeks ago. I installed a social media app which he will be able to see me joining the app. I wasn’t know he is using that app until I install it and he didn’t block me on that. I behave myself and doing no contact rule since the day he blocked me on everything. I wasn’t sure what should I do the next. Pls advice me T.T

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 2:09 pm

      Hey Min, so the issues is you agreed to friends with benefits… this means you dont get to behave like a girlfriend. If you want a relationship with him then you need to start the program where you do not give him any benefits while hes not your boyfriend. Work on your emotional control during your NC and make sure that when he reaches out to you, you ignore him for at least 30 days before you move on to the texting phase

  5. Avatar

    Anna

    May 10, 2020 at 1:24 pm

    Hey,

    So basically we were together for 11 months ended up moving in together but started arguing over money ect he has blamed me for everything since the break up but after a week of me doing no contact since break up he asked me to meet we ended up sleeping together and twice, he was being so cold and told me who knows in a few months we might start talking again, but then we had another argument and he said we were never ever getting back together and he has me now blocked on everything, is there anything I can do I love him with all of my heart and I am in the middle of counselling to sort my half of the problem as I was needy and relied on him for comfort all of the time.
    Please help
    Xx

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 2:55 pm

      Hi Anna you need to complete a 30 day NC again and when you start talking to your ex again you need to avoid sleeping with him until you are back together. It sounds as if your ex still likes you but you are clashing in some way. Spend some time learning about communicating in relationships and see if this helps you express yourself differently. However this does not mean that he will be spending time improving himself so you may see that you continue to clash when spending time together

  6. Avatar

    Shanaya

    May 8, 2020 at 9:35 am

    My ex broke up with me 2 months back as he was thinking his freedom was being taken. Then later we started talking again and things were getting back to normal. He was even thinking to come back together when I fought with one of his female friends and he didn’t like that. It was out of jealousy. I said sorry. After 2 days he blocked me from everywhere as I was pleading him to come back together. Well he unblocked me the next day. But since then we have not talked. He does see my Stories on IG sometimes. Its been 4 days since this. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 12, 2020 at 9:55 pm

      Hi Shanaya, I would suggest that you follow a second No Contact for 30 days. And then reach out again, I would avoid any drama as you do not want it to relate you to hostile arguments

  7. Avatar

    Kai

    May 5, 2020 at 11:28 am

    Hey, we dated for 6 months and we had some misunderstandings.we work together but she blocked me on Facebook , text and calls but do communicate through whatsapp. I still love her and she knows that. She ask for favors atimes but she tells me she is not taking any advantage. For the last one and a half months during weekends she comes to my place. We share same bed but never had any intimacy with her.She behaves cold and hot.i still love her but she does not want to understand for the mistakes I did.please help me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 5, 2020 at 10:41 pm

      Hey there Kai, so if she is asking you for favours she knows that you are willing to do what she asks because you want to be with her. So you need to stop this and you need to start your No Contact period. This should be for at least 30 days maybe 45 if you feel that you are not emotionally in control by the time you are supposed to reach out to her starting the texting phase

  8. Avatar

    New

    March 31, 2020 at 9:14 am

    My ex BF decided to block me off his Phone and Instagram, but he kept my connection via LinkedIn. In fact he usually has his LinkedIn account in private mode, yet he checked my account same day of blocking me in other platforms with his LinkedIn account showing. I don’t understand why he did that as if sending a msg that “I am checking your account “! Before blocking me, he said it was too much drama for it’s worth and he has no time for that! Anyway, the day I saw him checking my LinkedIn, I sent him couple msgs explaining my points and said I wanted to be with someone who appreciates my kindness not a coward who just blocks people easily. Then I removed off my connections. Don’t know what to do, I feel so bad and miss him a lot.

  9. Avatar

    rhobbie

    March 22, 2020 at 5:51 pm

    We were bestfriends before we were a couple. We broke up november last year of 2019. During this break up period, he didn’t block me on any social media or anywhere, and he still checks up on me on how i am doing occasionally, but I never got the chance to see him since then, until lately this january 25th 2020, we got to see each other again and he slept at my house. we had sex, after that we got out and eat together every dinner and every chance we get then, On valentines day, february 14th last month, we dated and we had sex again for the 2nd time after our break up last year. Then I’ve started to get feelings again, then this night, he video called me but i rejected because I was suspecting that he was talking to another girl, because of the days he’ll just talk to me when it was only convenient for him, after i rejected the video call, i sent him a message saying “why dont you call the one you’re calling the other day?” and he blocked me on facebook and my number was also blocked so i cannot call him. this is the 1st time i’ve got blocked since then.. what should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 23, 2020 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Rhobbie, so it sounds as if he didnt like the fact you got emotional or angry with him. He will likely unblock you when he is hoping you are not mad at him anymore. As much as you were going on dates and sleeping together you were not back in a relationship. This means that he can chat and date others. This is also why we say not to sleep with an ex until you have commitment from them again. If he reaches out make sure you have completed a 30 day no contact before speaking with him again

  10. Avatar

    Chichang

    March 22, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    Hi,
    My boyfriend asked for time and space to rebuild himself for our future. He said that he need time to look for another work. By the way, We started a business of our own for our future as well. I agreed to give him time and space. He promised and asked me to trust me with it and he will be back, he just need time and space to rebuild himself. He even promised that we will start our family next year.. We parted ways with a kiss and a hug. I started the no contact rule after that. But since we have our own business, there are times that i need to send him messages and call me due to business issues, and found out that he changed his number and blocked me to everything.
    Later on, one of our employee told me that my boyfriend is transferring all the titles to my name and he wont be back anymore. Now im confused. Is he just lying to me, so he could leave me for good? Or do he really mean it when he say he will be back someday and just trust him with it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 29, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Hi Chichang, I am sorry but those questions I can not answer. Only he knows if he plans on coming back or not

  11. Avatar

    Dany

    March 18, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    Hi my ex and I broke up a few nights ago and she blocked me on mostly everything. I used the other platforms to beg. I immediately regretted my decision but it was too late. Did I ruin my chances of getting her back? Please help!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 19, 2020 at 11:35 am

      Hi Dany, no you haven’t you will just have to complete a No Contact before you are able to start re attracting your ex.

  12. Avatar

    Sharma

    March 18, 2020 at 2:44 am

    Hey chris I urgently need your help me and my ex broke up 4 days ago..he was so sure about his decision..I begged I tried my best to save relation but all in vain.hecwas very abusive to me and directly asked me to move on..no matter how hard I tried it all went in vain.he said he wished he ever met me..then I started no contact rule..yesterday was my second day of no contact rule..he had an access to my Facebook account..I was sure that he is checking my account.. I add a new Male friend on fb nd started chatting to him as I knew that my ex is also reading.but I didnt flirt we just normally talked about hobbies and educations..then my ex unblocked me and said that he Is surprised that I am doing good nd easily getting move on..he told me that he was angry but now he is going for sure..but how the hell he can say that he was angry though he was very sure about his decision also he rejected my apologies..and now he blocked me on everything means full block out..before going he gave me hugs on messages and said that he was going to eraise my everything..me he fully blocked me out..is he gone now??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 3:20 am

      Hi Sharma, your ex is just upset that you were not ignoring another man and that you were telling this person that you were moving on with your life. Work on yourself in this time that you are blocked so when your ex unblocks you they are going to see how well you are doing and want to talk to you again

  13. Avatar

    El

    March 18, 2020 at 1:50 am

    My ex and I have been doing long distance when she broke up with me. We had been fighting a lot and we both said some pretty nasty stuff. She said she still loves me but can’t keep hurting me like this. She then blocked me on Instagram and asked for me not to speak to her or text her again. I don’t know what to do… I had been trying to give her space but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing. Also, Instagram is how we communicated mostly.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 2:34 am

      Hi El yes give your ex space, for a minimum 30 days

  14. Avatar

    B

    March 17, 2020 at 9:06 pm

    My ex blocked me and after I said I’d no longer be FWB. Obviously a reaction. I went into NC for a month. After that, he reached out. We’ve since started taking again and I’ve stood firm with nothing sexual. I am trying time reattract using methods here. But I am still blocked on all social media. This bothers me a bit. I know he’s engaging with all sorts of people on there… but obviously not me. I don’t know whether to let it go or not.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 12:03 am

      Hey B, so try not to focus on that what your ex is doing now is investing time texting you – this is a good thing. And building that foundation of showing your ex how great your conversations can be, building up that attraction, working your way up the value ladder, getting him to invest more time into you. Then when you start meeting up make sure you increase the romantic vibe each time

  15. Avatar

    Kate

    March 17, 2020 at 7:51 am

    Hi, I’m finding it really hard to accept that he’s gone for good. I’ve had a long distance relationship for four years and we were very attached to each other. He was more emotional than I was. However, three days ago, four weeks before we tried to meet again, his family ganged up on him, sending me a nasty message and told him if he didn’t break up with me they wouldn’t stop going on at him. They asked him every ten minutes and were shouting at him. They believed I was not good enough for him. So in the end he said that he was sorry and he didn’t know what else to do so broke up with me. After I asked him to call me, we had a huge cry and I told him it was going to be okay. After I said goodbye he blocked me from everything you can think of, even down to the things I would not have thought of. In the past we had “broken up” but after a day would give in and unblock each other. I know he is not coming back but I’m completely devastated. I have mental health issues as it is so that’s become alot worse. I’m not able to get out of bed and I’ve been crying so badly non stop. I noticed the second day he unblocked me on Skype so I went to message him thinking maybe he was going to stand up to them and change his mind but I stopped myself and five minutes later he had blocked me again. He hasn’t unblocked me since. He doesn’t normally handle not talking to me so for him to even go no contact three days is big for him. I feel sick and heartbroken. I keep hoping he’s going to come back. I can’t work on myself right now, I can’t even function normally. I did book to get my hair done hoping it may perk me up. How do I get past this stage of denial and accept that he probably doesn’t love me and is never coming back? In my denial head, I would ask, could I get him back? But I know if just be fooling myself

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 3:16 pm

      Hi Katie so by the sounds of things you need to take some time for yourself and your No contact needs to be more than 3 days you need to do a full 30 minimum or 45 if you need more time to work on your emotional control. IF you follow the program then you age going to give yourself your best chance to change things for the better.

  16. Avatar

    Alex

    March 4, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    My ex broke up with me this January because I cheated on him about a year ago (did not hook up with the guy, just spoke to him), and kind of remained in contact with him until August of 2019 (they were sporadic texts, mostly just catching up). These texts happened every few months. I have no feelings for the other guy, he’s literally like my friend.

    He messaged me around Christmas time and my ex boyfriend (Mike) saw it, freaked out, but then we continued our day. Then, I secretly unblocked Jake and told him to stop messaging me, then he texted me again a few days later with the screenshot of the dm and my boyfriend saw it. He broke up with me.

    Since January we’ve been on and off. I have been trying to make it up to him, but he literally will forgive me, then get angry again. He claims he just wants space, but when I give it to him, he comes to me and sends mixed signals.

    I was also acting kind of crazy because he was driving me crazy with the whole yes or no debacle. I spent the night at his place and we cuddled and kissed all night, as soon as I got home Mike messaged me saying he can’t do it anymore and of course I’m spooked. How does he say he doesn’t want to be in a relationship when he shows me otherwise? I went back to his place and called him a coward for not having the courage to just say it to my face.

    This time he dumped me for good I guess because he literally blocked me on everything except the astrology app I made him download that we can message each other with. I asked him if I could message him in a month to catch up and see how things are going after the space.

    But today I just found out I’m pregnant, since I’m blocked and I cannot go to his place because he would probably call the cops on me, should I just email him or message him on the astrology app? I don’t even know how he is going to respond to this. I definitely feel like he should have a right to know, I’m aware of my options and I don’t know what to do right now.

    Any advice ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 7, 2020 at 8:11 pm

      Hi Alex, yes you need to find a way to let him know you need to speak to him urgently, if he does not respond then send a email explaining that you are expecting

  17. Avatar

    Ciara

    February 23, 2020 at 4:16 pm

    We broke up long time ago. We stayed friends, we used to get in an argument from time to time because I wasn’t accepting the idea of breaking up, so he stops talking to me for a month or more. Those argument kept happening for a year and a half. But he always come back when I text him that I am feeling bad about something happened to me at work or anything else. And lately we stopped arguing but he keeps on vanishing from time to time saying he is busy. Until the last time, I did nothing wrong, I was replying on his Whatsapp message to discover he had me blocked. Why did he block me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 28, 2020 at 8:45 pm

      Hi Ciara, usually blocking someone would be an emotional reaction of making sure that they can not hear from you while they are feeling bad. Your ex will unblock you eventually. Use this time to complete a No Contact

  18. Avatar

    Georgina

    February 21, 2020 at 12:30 am

    I was with an Irish guy for a year- I am in Australia which is where we met. I met him on bumble and we hit it off- but soon after we met i realized he smoked weed every night (a joint a day), and after 6 pm, speaking to him was almost a wasted energy because he would just ignore me or respond with minimal words and then tell me he was too high to think about things. When I went to America last year he got so jealous and ended things for a few hours because he thought I had found someone else because I hadn’t responded (I had no wifi). I clarified that I was only wanting him and he was super happy until I got back and then we spent a solid week together and he was wonderful.

    I also realized that he didn’t want to integrate at all in my life. He has no real family or friends here (aside from his gross stoner housemates that literally brag about using women for money) and I have very wonderful, down to earth friends who were so excited to meet him. They aren’t high maintenance and so lovely-I’m not just saying that; they’re so accepting and easy. He told me “I have no interest in meeting your friends.” One friend made a ‘games night’ specifically for him with a small amount of close friends and his kind of food, to get to know him. He went to that but it was so hard to deal with because a few of them including him got stoned off weed and he just turned antisocial and texted me that he wanted to leave after a couple of hours of chatting to my friends. So we left. In the car home he said “well thats me for 6 months! I dont need to see them again for a while.” he said it laughing, but I think he was serious because he avoided social situations like the plague. I asked him to come to a halloween party and he straight out said no, he didnt want to. I felt unwanted and like my life was not good enough for him after that. He said my friends aren’t his kind of people- his friends are tax- evading, stoner men who use women for money and visas! And he said his housemates arent ‘his kind of people’ either, but hangs out with them because he has nobody else.

    When we first started, for maybe 2 months, he spoke a lot about his ex (showed me photos of her saying “whoops thought that was my sister” almost like he was trying to make me insecure) until I told him that it was strange to speak so much about another woman and he stopped, but I still felt like the other woman living in another woman’s shadow. he used to tell me (when he was drunk) that I was too good for him and that he didn’t want to lose me to another guy, but now he doesnt compliment me ever andsays things that hurt me and says he is joking- like that my bum is flat. When I retort “at least im not going balled (I said this once)” he said “wow now I know your true colours, I was only joking but you were serious!” I thought he was serious.

    I flew home to nsw (We met in aus and he was on a working visa) maybe 5 months after we met last year (8 months ago) and invited him to meet my mum (my best friend and mother), he told me it was too soon.

    Fast forward a few months: August last year (so 7 months ago) I went through his phone briefly because we had gone away for a weekend hiking and he had told me that he was a good guy- loyal, honest and trustworthy. He told me his ex was paranoid that he had been cheating and for that reason I could look in his phone if I ever felt the need. I didn’t feel the need but I did it i guess partly because I liked the idea that I could? I had barely looked at even his Whatsapp messages before I came across Alice. Their message history was effing HUGE. But I scrolled up a little and I read that she had said “I’ll stop annoying you now you have a girlfriend” (she knew about me because I had told him that he needed to add me on facebook as his gf because after 6 months thats kind of fair). His response to the message he sent was “that’s okay alice, you’re not annoying me. How are your boobs these days?” and she then sent him a full frontal photo of her boobs to him . I confronted him and he broke up with me on the spot and accused me of not trusting him and overreacting. We got back together a week later (me begging). I saw him at his house. He told me I was being ridiculous, that he and the girl had been friends for over 10 years, had never touched let alone had sex and that they were like brother and sister.
    Never mind the fact that during the conversation he was LITERALLY lying in the fetal position in the bed- I was trying to have a mature conversation about the trust violation and how he could help me through it because I wanted to be with him.

    I found out a few months later that she wasn’t just a best friend. She was an ex he was with for 2 years. And he had lied for MONTHS and had repeated that they were like brother and sister and had never ever touched. They obviously definitely had had sex as they were together for so long. She cheated on him and that’s why they ended. That lie was the most shocking- he was so happy to let me squirm in my gut feelings that something wasn’t right. But I didnt believe him- I spent so much energy trying to convince myself that I was crazy.

    This last year I have spent about 20-30 hours on his visa- calling his immigration lawyer and speaking about how to get him through the loop holes because he didn’t have enough financial evidence- so I faked a lot of it for him, rewriting his work references and editing his payment summary support letters to keep him in the clear. It was exhausting. While I was doing all of this, he was often curled up in the fetal position with a pillow covering his head, repeating “it’s too hard I feel like my head is going to pop.” He barely did ANYTHING for his visa and I did it all because I believed him to be good.

    I have organized weekends away camping and hiking and he has always said thank you but he’s never reciprocated. He’s always asked me if I love him but he’s never told me that he loves me. Whenever he asks me I tell him I do and he says “prove it.” And I have to do wacky things like handstands and stuff that I can’t do, to prove it. I asked him a few times to stop calling me names (always calls me annoying in jest) especially annoying and he said “but annoying is the perfect word to describe you Manelle.”

    In total he has broken up with me 5 times and comes back within a few weeks. I recently broke up with him (2 weeks ago after I took him camping for the first time) because he has started calling me annoying, a dickhead etc. for no reason other than that I asked him how his day was or if I’m with him, I ask for a cuddle.

    I’m so angry because I finally found the courage to leave a couple of weeks ago and he turned it around and made it sound like he wanted to end things with me.

    From the beginning he would end things when he didn’t want to do something that meant a lot to me like wanting him to meet my friends (he has hardly any here so what’s the problem? Wouldn’t you want to connect with people if you’re in a diff country?).

    Nothing seems to excite him- Christmas, his birthday, Easter. nothing.

    He’s now blocked me on everything because when I ended things, a week or so later (last night) I asked him if he ever loved me (as I said, he often asked if I loved him and I would tell him I did but never asked in return). He told me it was over and that he doesnt want to be with me and wont answer the question. I messaged him and he blocked me. then I messaged on instagram and he blocked me. then messenger and he blocked me.

    I tried so hard to make him happy and he always promised that when he got his visa he would be more relaxed and treat me better.

    I complimented him often- when we first met he told me he thought I was way too good for him so I tried to make him feel secure with me. And I just feel used and discarded.

    I feel so worthless. With every defence or problem we had, I would blame it on the visa. A whole year I made these concessions and told myself (and him) that things would settle after the visa. I can’t even tell you how often we cried about the visa and he told me “we need to get the visa done because we can be together.” I believed it. 2 days after the visa came through (the week I ended up cracking and told him it was over because of how he was treating me all the time), he was mean to me towards me- told me he wanted to cut back on our days during the week together, wasn’t affectionate and still refused to make us friends on ANY social media. I cracked and ended it and then I tried to he’s said “it’s over you ended it.”

    I am so sad. I gave my all and now I’m feeling so drained and used. He’s reaping all the benefits of getting a visa here- to be with someone else. And he’s going to do all of things I wanted to do with him, with her.

    For the past 6 months he’s refused to have me on social media. I think after break up number 3 he deleted me from everything- even Snapchat that I don’t hardly use and ever since has said he will only add me again when I stop “being so obsessed” with social media. He is always on Instagram scrolling- much more than me.

    I’ve told him that having me on his accounts will prove to me that he is choosing me- after the ex girlfriends (he has spoken to 2 that I know of), I thought that was reasonable. I never caused a huge fight over it but it was something that meant the girls back in Ireland waiting for him, would go away. But I know it’s his job to stay away from women who send men photos of their boobs when he has a girlfriend- a girlfriend who was doing is visa so he would stay in her country

    He said recently that he’s not getting back together because I spoke to one of his housemates about my worry that he might be depressed. He’s very private and it humiliated him. The housemate isn’t very nice- he’s always been so nice to me but he’s not a very trustworthy person- but I’ve now learned that he really isn’t and went straight to my ex and told him I accused him of being depressed etc. That’s my biggest mistake- along with being too needy he said. I regret it so much. Zero respect for his boundaries.
    But I also know I was good- we did loads of things purely to get him out of his stoner house with his loser stoner housemates like camping and weekends away. I was always suggesting day trips and hikes. Now I just feel like he barely wanted to do anything and I was just trying to push him to be happy here. But I just pushed him away.

    I just thought I could be better and he would see I’m good enough and that I love him. I also believed that his various reactions to things- breaking up with me if there was an issue- like when I found out the boob girl was his long term ex from 10 years ago and they meet up and things when they’re single, he broke up with me. Then I’d desperately beg for him back and he would come back and the issue was void and was barely spoken about.

    I want him back despite all of this. I do hope he settles down and moves out on his own away from the stoner men and cuts back on smoking… and misses me and wants me back. But I think I have absolutely ruined my chances by talking to the housemate and being too needy. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 27, 2020 at 9:47 pm

      Hi Georgina, so reading your post I honestly hope that you realise your worth and that he is not worth your time!!! He has done some things that are manipulative to make you feel insecure, he lies, he keeps other girls such as his exes as options clearly so that he does not need to be single for long and comes back to you when he feels that he has no other options! Read some articles about being Ungettable so that you can work on your self esteem and I really hope that you realise you deserve better than what this relationship gave you!

  19. Avatar

    Stephanie

    February 10, 2020 at 12:45 am

    This guy is not really an ex, but I need some insight. We dated years ago and he broke up with me because he couldn’t handle a long distance relationship. We remained friends over the years. Last year we happened to both be on vacation in the same state and we ended up hooking up one night. Oops. Several months later we made plans to meet up again for a weekend. He texted me that he was getting back with his ex and we couldn’t meet or talk as much as we had been. I respected that and stepped away. I few weeks ago he texted me that he and the ex weren’t going to work out, but he realized he couldn’t commit to anyone. However, he still wanted to meet up with me for a weekend. Over the past few days, he’s been texting that he loves me. Last night I messaged him that I couldn’t meet up with him because I just don’t think it’s healthy. He said he loves me and misses me and respects my decision. The next thing I know, he’s blocked me on Facebook and unfollowed me on IG. What gives?!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 12, 2020 at 9:32 pm

      Hey Stephanie, more than likely because you were not willing to give him what he wanted he has blocked you. It is immature but it is a reaction to someone who doesnt like being told “No”

  20. Avatar

    Davon Wright

    January 29, 2020 at 10:16 am

    Mine is kinda weird. So the reason we broke up was that we were fighting to much. Though I never really saw it as a fight because I would try to defuse the situation. When she broke up with me she told me that she could never see herself with me again let alone talk to me ever again. Also there is this guy she fell in love with the day she broke up with me and they’ve been dating ever since. I can not contact her as I’ve been blocked on everything. I tried for so long to take my mind off of her and move which has been successful up until lately. I find myself thinking about her and the relationship we had and began missing it entirely. The only way I have to say something to her is through this app call Tellonym. Her boyfriend has access to all her accounts so if I tried contacting her through one of her friends I’d get shot down. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know want to try to get back with her soon I just want to have a conversation with her again but I know it’s not possible. I have so many things I want to tell her but I can’t because of the situation I’m in.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 5, 2020 at 9:24 pm

      Hey Davon, I suggest that you work on getting over your ex and the break up focusing on how to get over that will take some time and casually date for some time. Wanting a conversation with your ex right now is only to try and make you feel better, honestly it wont give you the satisfaction that you hoped for.

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