I can’t tell you how many clients I work with who literally tell me their ex has blocked them on everything.

If you find yourself in this situation then rest assured that you have come to the right place.

Today I am going to pull back the curtains and show you how to get your ex to unblock you. I am going to do this by showing you success stories of women who’ve been unblocked by their exes.

Also, if you read this article in it’s entirety I am going to tell you the story of what one of my clients had to do to get unblocked by her ex.

What she did was so brilliant that I’ve started recommending it to anyone within earshot.

Let’s begin!

Help! My Ex Blocked Me On Everything

There are really three things that I’d like to cover in this article.

  1. Understanding the difference between a partial block and a full out block.
  2. What success stories can teach us about getting an ex to unblock you
  3. What one of my clients had to do to get her ex to unblock her

Seems pretty straightforward, right?

It’s not.

These three topics will give us a lot to unpack.

Tip #1: The Partial Block Vs. The Full Out Block

Believe it or not but there are two types of categories that being blocked can be divided into.

  1. The Partial Block
  2. The Full Out Block

It always shocks me how many people fail to understand which of these categories they fall into.

Here’s a quick rundown of what each of these mean.

The Partial Block = A situation where your ex has blocked you ALMOST everywhere.

To date, these are the most common ways people communicate with their exes.

  • Texting
  • Phone Calls
  • Facebook Messanger
  • Instagram
  • Snapchat
  • WhatsApp
  • Twitter
  • Tinder
  • Email

And I’m probably forgetting a big “social media platform” but I think you get the picture.

“The partial block” assumes that your ex has blocked you on almost every single platform but they’ve left one small way of getting in contact.

I’d estimate that close to 80% of the clients I work with fall into the category.

The second category is a little more difficult to deal with.

The Full Out Block: Takes a situation where your ex has blocked you EVERYWHERE

Scary, right?

But perhaps nothing is as frightening as what I’d like to talk to you about next.

False Positives With Partial Blocks

If you didn’t already know, all of the clients I work with get access to a special private support group.

(They get extra goodies essentially. )

To date, there are a little over 2,000 members in the group.

Each has gone through a breakup and are there to support you throughout your journey.

Anyways, a few weeks ago I stumbled across this really interesting comment from one of my members,

Essentially what she was saying is that she was curious how the iPhone handled “blocked messages.”

So, she had a friend block her and then she proceeded to send a message to her friend to see how the message behaved.

Predictably, her friend didn’t receive the message.

Unpredictably, her iPhone considered the message “delivered.”

You might be familiar with this language here when you send successful messages.

Turns out you can’t rely on this 100% of the time.

So, how are you supposed to determine if your ex has blocked you via text message.

Honestly, my best piece of advice here is to combine two concepts.

  1. Time
  2. Responsiveness

If a lot of time goes by with your ex not being responsive at all then it is probably a clear indicator that you are blocked.

What is a good time frame to go on?

Honestly, it depends on a lot of factors.

I’d say trust your gut.

Tip #2: What Successes Teach Us About Getting Unblocked

Above I mentioned that I have this special support group for my clients.

Perhaps one of the biggest assets of having a group like that is I get to communicate with people using my program all at once.

I also get to see a lot of success stories.

So, in preparation for this article I decided to look through the group in the last year for success stories when it came to getting unblocked.

My only goal was to determine if I could find any kind of consistency or through line I could use to teach you.

In all, I was able to find seven unblocking success stories.

Unblocking Success Story #1

Lesson Learned = Her ex admitted to unblocking her from time to time to check on her. This might indicate that exes seem to put up a “cool” front so that they look fine on the outside when they aren’t on the inside.

Unblocking Success Story #2: 

Lesson Learned= Be patient apparently.

Unblocking Success Story #3:

Lesson Learned= This particular person has something really interesting to say. Her ex blocked her on Facebook but that didn’t stop her from going out and having a good time. Upon our advice she posted the pictures on Facebook and a week later she gets unblocked.

This would seem to indicate that even if you are blocked your ex still pays attention to your photos.

Unblocking Success Story #4: 

Lesson Learned: This person did something interesting. She determined that she was blocked pretty much everywhere except email. So, if you were paying attention above you’d notice that she would be categorized as a “partial block”

After a few months of communicating through email unblocking became natural.

Unblocking Success Story #5: 

Lesson Learned: This one was inconclusive because she didn’t provide enough data.

Unblocking Success Story #6: 

Lesson Learned: Again, this one isn’t conclusive from an “unblocking” standpoint but she did have something interesting to say from her historical experience when it came to dating.

In her experience exes tend to block you because they are “lashing out.”

She also seems to imply that getting an ex to unblock you is simply a matter of riding it out.

Unblocking Success Story #7: 

Lesson Learned: This woman seems to come down on the side of patience. She states that it is usually only a matter of time before you are unblocked.

Recap Of Lessons Learned

If you are anything like me then you are probably a fiend for connivence and want all of what I just jotted down in one simple place for you to glance at.

Consider this to be your “unblocking” cheat sheet.

  • Exes have admitted to “unblocking” you temporarily to see what you are up to
  • They will pay attention to you on Facebook even when they have you blocked
  • Posting pictures of you going out and having a good time is a good idea
  • If you are in a “partial block” make sure you use your other means of communication
  • One of the primary reasons exes will block you is because they are “lashing out”
  • Patience seemed to be important
  • If you want long enough without doing anything “crazy” your ex can unblock you

Tip #3: The Brilliant Tactic One Of My Clients Used To Get Unblocked

I can’t take credit for this particular tactic even though I’d like to.

For this one I’ll have to nod to my client and thank her for letting me recommend it to you.

Here’s the background.

My client was in a situation where she was in a “partial block.”

She was able to communicate with her ex via text messages but she was blocked completely on Facebook.

Unsure of how to start a conversation with him on how to get him to “unblock her” she decided to do something brilliant.

Her ex was a big fan of the Miami Dolphins.

For those of you overseas that is a football team.

Anyways, Let’s consider her ex a Miami Dolphins super fan.

She happened to be at one of the games and took a bunch of pictures with friends.

Naturally she posted the photos on Facebook and was sure that he’d love to see them. She was literally about to send the pictures manually over text message when she got an idea.

She sent him this text,

This subtly confronted the “blocking” issue and since he was such a super fan he was forced to unblock her to see the pictures.

You see, the brilliant part of this strategy doesn’t lie in the execution but the carrot.

The only reason this worked for her was because she tempted her ex with something she knew he was passionate about.

This wouldn’t have worked if she tried to entice him with ballerina pictures.

The greater the carrot the greater the chances of being unblocked become.

32 thoughts on “My Ex Blocked Me On Everything”

  1. Avatar

    Biba

    July 22, 2019 at 11:19 am

    We were talking for 2 months after the break up then NC for 30 days, but at the end of the NC I did something that he hates so for a result – he erased me from all his social media and he also has a new girl.
    How do I get out of this situation?

  2. Avatar

    Anon

    July 20, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    Hi Chris! I think I ruined my chances completely…. so basically me and my ex have been split up for 6 weeks now.
    I successfully completed the no contact rule for 30 days a week ago, I contacted him that day with no response, so I tried again the next day and just out ‘omg you’ll never guess what happened to me?!’ And he actually responded but responded negatively 🙁 he basically said he’s sorry he hasnt been in touch and that he doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t make him happy and that he doesn’t want to waste his life making me happy and that he thinks it’s best we don’t speak anymore.. I messed up and let the emotions get the better of me and became a GNAT. He has now blocked me everywhere except email, but I’ve emailed him but no reply three either. Have I completely ruined my chances?

  3. Avatar

    Elliot

    June 25, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My former boyfriend broke up with me on Friday, 4 days ago, and I immediately blocked him everywhere. I told him that I would block him and he respected and understood my decision.
    Now that I’ve been reading about no-contact (which I have done once before with the same guy, it worked), I see a lot of people saying that I shouldn’t have blocked him.
    Now I’m a bit conflicted because, on the one hand, I want him to be able to reach out to me (otherwise what’s the point of no-contact), but on the other hand, I want to be assertive and stick to my word that I would block him.

    As of now, he is blocked on all social media. Only his phone number is not blocked, but he probably believes that it is.

    Do you have any idea of what I should do?

  4. Avatar

    Ellie Crawford

    May 23, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    Hi there my name is Ellie I’m from the uk and I would like some help or tips To get my ex back now let me start of with how it started basically it started back in Feb last year we meet online everything was fine until Christmas came he started to act really weird telling me stories how he busy with work from Christmas to new year now he work as a brick layer I no for a fact that they don’t work around Christmas time but all I’m saying is that he stop talking to me for about 6 months and block me every where at one point I tried to find him on a social Media like instagram yeah I found him on there I message him but all he did was block me on there and now I don’t no what to do cos all I want to do is find out what his problem and why he being like this so if you can please help me on this situation that will be great thank you

  5. Avatar

    Tina

    May 14, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    My ex after 5 years blocked me thru the phone only. We have been broke up 4 months what does that mean

  6. Avatar

    jodie pulford

    May 14, 2019 at 8:31 am

    so I was seeing someone. it was supposed to be casual until he moved. he didn’t want a long distance relationship after he had been hurt in the last one.
    it was great and it was aware there was more feelings than intended on both sides. no-one said it but you can tell in actions and things that were said.
    he ended it early as his career is up in the air and didn’t also want the confusion of me too. he said he cares for me and his feelings too and didn’t want to like me more than he already does so didn’t want to continue it until he was gone. I did become a bit of a texting gnat and he blocked me from everything. the following day he unblocked me tried ringing several times which I ignored. he then blocked me again. then unblocked to ring again. he sent a message pretty much to point out the obvious… he doesn’t want to see or speak to me again and blocked me again.
    to me it seems odd for someone to unblock someone to say what is obvious by blocking someone. he blocked me again afterwards after saying goodbye about 3 times and wishing me the best of luck etc.
    I know when I’ve done things like this is because someone is playing on my mind and emotions are high.
    do guys think like this too? is it a sign of emotions or is it just game play?
    any insight is appreciated.

  7. Avatar

    Thalita

    May 6, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    Hi Chris , I’m writing this with a heavy heart.
    My ex fiancé an I were engaged for about 5 months we lived together , everything had moved really fast we only dated for about 6 months officially until he proposed. It seems like he jumps from relationship to relataionship from what I heard. With me however he proposed we lived together, but we started to have little clashes of personality. The latest argument we had was about us buying a house to which I said it was too soon and we should really see where this goes so we don’t fight. I eventually got on board with the house and we picked a home. But he couldn’t let the house situation go and said I didn’t trust him. Then started asking me why I loved him nice matter what I said it wasn’t good enough. He then said that he would rather be alone and to find a place to live. I left that same night and yelled at him he couldn’t look at me. The next day he insisted it was the right decision for the both of us and that we would both be happier this way even though he’s messed up in his mind and he could not make me happy .I ended up going the next day to pick up things and cried and pleaded ( I know ). To which he said I can’t focus on anything but the nypd right now and I can’t be in a relationship. “It’s not you it’s me”. And that maybe in the future we can “date” even though I heard him say he doesn’t believe in that in the past. He said separation is key to moving forward. I stayed with no contact rule. It’s been about a month. The only thing is my mom did contact
    Him saying that I was struggling and that she thought it was best if him and I sat down and discussed things to which he coldly
    Replied, we have , it’s best this way , we rushed into things. He has unfriended me on Facebook agger I blocked him and in followed me on Instagram as well. So far have no heard from him. Please help

  8. Avatar

    Nebi

    April 29, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    Hei Chris.
    Nebi
    I was in a long distance relationship over 5 years. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He just called and said that he didn’t want me to be with another guy, but he didn’t think he will marry me in the future, so he wishes me a good luck and happy life. I was’t emotional, I just said are you sure and he replied yes. Then I respected his choice and wished him good luck. The day after he broke up with me I posted a picture of me with friends Nd at the gym working out. He was the first looking at pictures. Then he called me after to days, I didn’t answer.He send me a text and begged for me too call him on Facebook I didn’t reply. I actually ignored him right after he broke up with me, that means I can see if he text or call but he didn’t know that I have seen them. So I think he knew that I ignored him. Then he called me unknown number, I answered him and he said sorry for what he did and wants me too called him on Facebook or what’s up because he leave in another country. Then I said okay I will call him and hang up the phone. Then I realize that I was mad at him and I didn’t want to say something bad wards, so it was better to not to call him at that time. I did the no contact roles. I didn’t call him in 3 days, then he called me again unknown number and asked me why didn’t I called him and told me that he was wetting for me to call him. Then i called him on Facebook. We communicate and he told me why he broke up with me which makes me even more mad at him even I love him so much. I actually know why he broke up with me, but he told me another story and he felt that he wasn’t not good enough for me. At that time I felt like I had to do something too show him that was not okay to break my heart over a little thing. Then I pretend that I was okay with the break up and told him that we can be friends. Then he got mad and blocked me on Facebook.
    So Chris what should I do to get him unblock me and mack him understand that I love him no matter what.

    Sorry for my words. I learned English here actually by watching your videos and reading your blogs. So thanks for that.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 29, 2019 at 9:01 pm

      Hi Nebi…like I discuss in my EBR Pro Program, sometimes its best to give your ex a lot of space and following a sensible ex recovery game plan. Those who block, often become unblockers in time.

  9. Avatar

    Nelly

    April 17, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Hi, my bf and I been together for 9 months and about 3 weeks ago my bf stopped talking to me for a week because he got mad at me for something stupid. After that week I texted him and his replies were mean. I was asking him question to why he stopped talking to me. He told me that he probably forgot about me and why will he text me and that he don’t know what I am to him. When he said he doesn’t t know what I am to him I broke up with him, now his my ex. I tried getting back with him the next day but it didn’t work. Now he blocked me on WhatsApp and Facebook, but he didn’t unfriend my mom on Facebook. Do I have a chance of him unblocking me?

  10. Avatar

    Parnia Razavi

    March 23, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    Hello Chris,
    My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months, I was his longest relationship and he constantly told me he loved me, he also told all his friends that he was so in love with me,
    6 weeks ago we went out and we decided to break up, I told him to do that he must block me everywhere, I blocked him right away but when I got home I called him and told him that I wouldn’t want to break up with him, he said that he doesn’t feel good and he was crying.
    5 days later I persuaded him to unblock me through his best friend and I talked to him, the next day he changed his massanger settings so I could see when he was online, but two days after he changed the settings again,
    I called and texted and he blocked me again, I also went to see him, he said that we couldn’t be together and now I really don’t know what to do, also, we didn’t really have a major issue in our relationship. So what can I do?

  11. Avatar

    Doreen

    March 3, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    My ex and I broke up in September last year.we had so many issues and he was also cheating constantly.i was pregnant and ended up terminating because of his unfaithfulness.we got into a huge fight and I left but he immediately brought in someone else.he blocked me everywhere apart from whatsapp where he keeps on blocking and on blocking.its now 6 months but he keeps going round telling people horrible things about me.i have not been able to move on because I still have feelings for him.please advice me on what to do

  12. Avatar

    Sankari T Thevar

    March 1, 2019 at 5:45 am

    Hey Chris. My Boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. Both of us have entered college. I’m worried he is going to move on fast. I have been blocked everywhere and i have waited for about a month. How do i reach out to my ex?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 1, 2019 at 10:50 pm

      So if your NC is run a week and you are looking to connect, but are blocked, perhaps writing him a letter is an option.

  13. Avatar

    Catherine

    February 15, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    Hey Chris,

    So, I’ve been blocked for about 2 weeks on Facebook, what app but not instagram… (So partial block) He actively didn’t like any of my posts for about a month, until on valentines I posted a happy valentines picture and he gave it a like.

    I also found out on the same day he asked my best friend if he could stay at hers with some friends when he comes to my city in a few weeks (we had planned to be together when he came that time for a music concert) and she said yes.

    I’ve kept NC and working on being an UG, but not sure if this is a clear sign he’s sending that it’s fully over for him as he’d rather stay with my best friend than me or something else?

    What do you think are the motives behind his actions, should I give up and move on or is this some weird game?

    What else can I do in my situation?

    Thank you for all insight and advice! Hope you’re having a nice day x

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 16, 2019 at 12:32 am

      Hi Catherine…partial blocks are not unusual. Look for him to eventually unblock you on Facebook. So you are focusing on the right thing…being Ungettable and making NC about “you”. Be careful of not reading too much in how a guy acts or says or does. I am unsure, but maybe he is trying to trigger a reaction from you, knowing she is your best friend. I would stay on course with your NC. And if you really want to dive deep in this process, pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”!

  14. Avatar

    Marie

    February 6, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    Hi chris! I wanted to message you as I’ve been reading your blogs for the last 4 weeks but haven’t seen a comment close to my situation so I will explain and hopefully you can give me some words of wisdom!

    So basically, me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago he said he wasn’t happy in himself and couldn’t make me happy whilst he felt like that. We ended it by saying we would have no contact and see eachother 3 weeks later after Christmas. We did text a little bit throughout the following 2 weeks and then the 3rd week I got a huge paragraph telling me that I’m amazing and none of this is my fault and to let me know he was okay but he wasn’t sure if he can give me what I need. So I obviously got upset and replied saying it’s not fair he then said this is the problem and I’m very argumentative! So I called him as texting was just getting heated and he said to me that I nag and get angry I got sad and he had to go close the shop at work. I then thought it wasn’t fair so I called him back and said I’m coming to get my stuff tonight you can’t message me all that and then expect me to let you say it. He then said he was sorry he sent it and to ignore it and he’s not good with words but I said I wasn’t waiting another week and I would come up in 2 days. So I did, I honestly thought he’d see me and change his mind but he didn’t he said I was horrible and didn’t realise what I said and I cried so much. I left and the following day I messaged him to say how sorry I was and he said seeing me cry made him realise how much he loved and missed me. We agreed to no contact at all until the date we originally planned to see eachother (8 days later) and I also asked him not to message me Christmas Day as it would ruin my day. he text me everyday.. he said ‘just wanted you to know your all I can think about’ he messaged me Christmas Eve ‘I hope you have a good day tomorrow’ I then woke up to a text Christmas Day and again Boxing Day and then I saw him the following day he then said he had to let me go and it wasn’t fair! So we left it I then spoke to him a few days later but it didn’t go well he said we have to leave it and he doesn’t know how he’ll feel to meet up again. Following day it was New Year’s Eve didn’t hear a word all day, got into bed and midnight and my phone went off it was him asking me to go round. He lives 45 minutes away but I stupidly went! When I got there he was so drunk so I left him to Sort himself out and he slept on the sofa. He went to work in the morning and came back at lunch time he said I could stay and watch films with him so I did we had a chat when he got back and he said he wanted to see me again once a week and make it fun again! So we planned to see eachother a few days later. We didn’t speak and the day before he called me saying to reschedule but he seemed weird and I questioned it he said he’d been worrying again about everything and wasn’t sure if he wanted to see me. I said out of respect you need to see me! And then he said ok. We didn’t speak till I got there, I didn’t want to question everything I just wanted to show him we can still have fun! I ended up staying and we slept together, spent all of the next day together and then i packed up all my stuff and he cried he said everything will work out and if we’re meant to be together we will be. I didn’t speak to him for a week and then i saw he got a big deal on a job and felt it was right to congratulate him. We spoke non stop for 2 days! I said would be nice to go for a coffee in a few weeks and he agreed! He also started explaining to me how he also got another job and got on a new football team without me asking. A few days later we were talking and he was flirting. So I said about staying over when I meet him and he freaked out and said he couldn’t see me. I then did the no contact rule for 15 days. Day 15 I went for dinner with his friends girlfriends (my friends too) one told me he said similar things to his ex when they broke up though when he said them to me he said he’d never said it before! I started getting upset and couldn’t not say anything but I couldn’t text or call in case he ignored me. So I drove to his and knocked on the door. He was shocked! We sat in my car and spoke and said it was all lies. He said the break up hasn’t been that bad as he’s been busy with work. He then started to tell me he’s getting a new car and moving in with one of his friends that I won’t be happy about (a girl friend that says stupid stuff without thinking but is literally just a friend) again without me asking anything to do with either! I said all he thinks about are the negative stuff but he said he’s been thinking positive and does miss me but I had annoyed him a lot by turning up and he said there’s a good chance we might not get back together now but he might miss me in a few months and went back inside. The next day I said to him I didn’t want it to end like that but I couldn’t have not said anything he said bye I don’t need this I went abit crazy with messaging and said he’ll realise I’m the one and the grass isn’t greener but it will be too late when he does and he didn’t reply. A few days later I thought he is just thinking I’m there on a plate so i messaged and said to him I deserve to be treated better the last 2 months he’s shown his true colours and it’s not someone I want in my life he told me that there’s someone out there better suited for me and he doesn’t think we should speak again. I didn’t reply! I then put a post on Facebook the following day about a new job I’ve got and he unfriended me straight away. It’s like he can’t bare to see that I do well. Of course partly it was a dig to make him think I’m ok without him but still! I don’t know what to think or what to do!!!

  15. Avatar

    Alaa

    January 11, 2019 at 10:09 pm

    Hello there,

    My story is a bit different here.. I broke up with my ex even though we were together for a long time (he has loved me for 6 years, broke up before but he confessed to me each time later and he didnt give up)
    He told me he wanted to stay friends.. I couldn’t handle that idea

    Then my sister suggested me to tell him that I would give him time to think about whether he is sure he wants this or he wants to go back together, and she told me to give him a time limit, so I went for a month

    However HE asked me to block him from everywhere and begged me to do it
    When I asked how he can contact me later he said I will know when he is ready to give me his answer

    So right now he can’t see anything I post.. but I left him unblocked on instagram pretending I forgot about it and I post my photos there but idk if he sees them

    I was also wondering if it is mean to unblock him from other social media before he gives me his answer

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 12, 2019 at 2:48 am

      HI Alaa…probably best to have an overriding strategy so you have answers to questions that will crop up during this whole process. I tend to favor keeping the social media lines open for various reasons, but there are exceptions.

  16. Avatar

    Tammy

    December 30, 2018 at 2:04 am

    Chris, I’m a regular on here. I’ll recap my sit. for you – we were casual, he broke things off with me when I got upset with him for sleeping with someone else without protection. I got an STI, he blamed it on me even though I was a virgin when we met, I still had feelings for him, we had lunches throughout the summer and he knew I had feelings for him. I asked him if we could grab drinks, he rejected me and shut down our lunches altogether. A month later, I confessed my feelings to him and he rejected me and said he was seeing someone else. A few days went by, I felt embarrassed and apologized for getting super emotional, he blocked me. Two months went by, I DMed him on Insta asking how he was and mentioned his football team, he blocked me immediately. I got upset and messaged him from my work phone saying that I didn’t want him to hate me and that I understood that he moved on, but I didn’t want there to be bad blood between us because I got emotional a few months back. I told him it’d be easier for me to move on if I knew that he at least didn’t hate me. I got a message saying, “this is (ex’s name) girlfriend. You have contacted relentlessly and it’s no okay or harmless. You’re blocked for a reason. Please respect that.” I was also blocked. I cried and cried and cried. I’m in a really bad place, Chris. Any words of advice would help. The words of the girlfriend haunt me everyday and my heart is the most broken it’s ever been. I never meant to cause trouble by reaching out to my ex. I just wanted things to feel better and have a connection to him. I thought time would help, but it didn’t. He’s made me feel like a horrible person because I told him how I felt and reached out two months later. I’m not sure what I did to deserve this…or even if i do..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 30, 2018 at 6:37 am

      Hi Tammy…thanks for visiting again! Very wrong of him to blame you for such a thing. First things first, you are not a horrible person. You never have been. You never will be. Your ex is the bad egg for what he has said and done. He doesn’t exhibit kindness which is the magic of love. You do. And that is why you are going to have a very happy life. You don’t need closure or assurance that he doesn’t hate you because no one could hate you unless they themselves are a hateful person. Research shows that the passage of TIME and getting engaged in various recovery activities is often the best medicine for what you are going through.

      Doing things like learning a new skill, getting a massage, writing in your journal, starting a new exercise regimen, practicing meditation/yoga, getting therapy, listening to soothing music, engaging in new routines, meeting new people or spending time with close friends…….these kinds of activities can help you heal. Indeed, neuroscientists say that just listening to certain kinds of music can reduce anxiety, stir the soul, and calm your nervous system.

  17. Avatar

    Lea

    December 29, 2018 at 1:44 am

    My ex is 44 years old.

    The bad signs:
    He suddenly texted a breakup and blocked me on everything.

    I sent him one text from another number, one bouquet, one e-mail (not sure if I’m blocked there) and one letter. In each of these, I did not beg, but I made it clear that I still love him and would do anything to work things out. After that, I went NC.

    He is very impulsive and had blocked me before for simply disagreeing with him (but unblocked me later).

    He does irrational things when stressed and he was preparing an exam when he suddenly blindsided me with the breakup.

    It has been about 30 days since my last attempt to contact him, but 60 days since the breakup.

    Good side:

    I was his longest relationship at almost five years. The other women barely stayed by his side for a few months.

    We rarely argued until near the end. We had a few short, petty arguments due to his stonewalling of important issues and being avoidant. Nothing out of place was ever said and there was no yelling.

    We created a lot of good memories and there were FAR more of these than maybe five short petty arguments in the entire relationship.

    I stayed with him, even when he made poor financial choices and poor job choices. He is now living in a very bad house and I still love him.

    I have no clue how to handle this. My gut says that he broke up under duress and probably hates it, but he also has a very big ego and is unlikely to drop the pride so that we can work on things.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 29, 2018 at 2:07 am

      Hi Lea…yep…lots of guys have oversized egos. He may have rushed through the decision making process. Consider a brief No Contact period. Pick up my eBook, “EBR PRO” so you have the best resource to help you going forward!

  18. Avatar

    Pearl Ephraim

    December 19, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Oh my word I have been on your blog for two days now. EVERY SINGLE article sums me up, my ex blocked me on whatsapp and calls/texts, he doesn’t have any other social media though. He blocked me after I nagged him for breaking up and begging him to give us a chance. He asked for space for a month and I fought it, he told me he did not know how he feels about me and I flipped. I tried NC rule but only lasted 4 days that’s when I contacted him, my birthday is coming up so I asked if he wanted to go on a trip. He didn’t reply to my whatsapp so I called him and he was cold but said he would think about it. Then he said he had to go. Silly me I called him later to see if he is available to talk again, he kept hanging up my calls. I couldn’t help myself I kept calling (before we would always fight and he switched off his phone and decline my calls and he eventually picks up then I asks to see him and we work things out in person and are fine). This time however he got annoyed and blocked me on whatsapp first. Then I kept calling his phone over 50+ times ( I know and I was doing so well with NC I just flipped out that he still didn’t want to talk to me). He eventually answered my call, said I am harassing him then I said I just wanted to say goodnight and he said goodnight. I tried to call this morning and realized he blocked my numbers.

    I’m so miserable and dont know what to do. A little history : We were bestfriends for 7years but I kept taking gap years overseas but we always kept in contact. He was always the first person to contact me when I came home and we always had Wednesday night dates. This time I was staying in the country as I had a business opportunity so for the first time we could spend more time together. Things were going great, we went on a vacation December last year and I feel for him on Christmas. He took a little longer to fall and maintained we were friends. He did once say to me before we started dating that he doesnt think he would ever fall inlove with me so that hurt and stuck in my head. Eventually we grew closer celebrated his birthday. I quit my job full time to concentrate on business and things didnt go as planned. I was broke and depressed and he was there for me. He started falling inlove with me and I couldn’t believe it becuase of what he said before (that he wont fall inlove). He also is a bit emotionally cold so I would pick fights with him cos when we fought that’s when he would show his emotions and that he loves me. I would break up with him and he would almost cry, the one time he did and begged me and I took him back. I was very insecure about his ex as they still spoke but he said they were just friends( they dated for 3years and it was his first love). I mostly insecure that she was doing so well in her career and baught a new car while I could barely pay for my car due to the risk of business. I always brought her up in fights that he seems to have loved her more than he loves me and he says no he loves me. I never believed him.

    Long story short I told him one day that I was underwhelmed with our relationship and that it wasnt so great. ( truth is,now that we have broken up I realize I was underwhelmed with my life and failure and wanted him to fill my void). That pushed him and he took a secondment to another city for a month. He became cold and distant and barely chatted. I would nag him about chatting. He eventually said we aren’t breaking up but can we go back to the chilled times we were as friends. I said I agree. He kept being distant and we said when he came back we would meet up and talk. He then lied about the date he came back, he said he would come back on Friday but actually came back on Monday but didnt want to see me. I flipped and went to his place. I had a key and he found me there when he came from work. He was so mad I came unannounced(my other mistake I regret so much). He asked for a break possibly to break up but I said no let’s hang out again. We hung out on a Sunday and it was great and I asked if his feelings had changed and he said no. I was so confused because we were having a good time. He said he needed space to think, that my insecurities with his ex and picking fights with him was too much for him and that he doesnt trust me anymore for just coming into his place.

    I went home and I was sad. I begged him to think about at least trying to date for 3more months (oh I mentioned when I broke up with him previous times he would beg me and almost always cry. I think that’s why I begged so much because it was something he did and felt I gave him chances he should give me one). Fast forward to the top of the story where I tried no contact for 4days and contacted him, begged and got blocked.

    I dont know what to do, I really want him back. The break helped me realized i don’t care about his ex, also I was in a bad space personally and took it out on him and I would do better now , I just want him back. I realized how good he was too me.

    What do I do to get him back? I love him and he is my bestfriend. We used to talk about marriage and children and how he says he doesnt even see that. That broke my heart ! :*(. I know the main reason he wanted a breakup was cos of the fights and me always making him feel like he wasnt enough. I sent him an email aswell explaining my side along with not being in a good space and depressed and he knows it. He has not replied.

    I’ve read your article of NC but I broke NC, I read your article of being Blocked out block and begging. It’s hard cos I have a combination of all of them Haha so I dont know how win him back.

    HEEEEELP!!!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 20, 2018 at 2:51 am

      Hi Pearl… I am glad you are sponging up the content here. If you are looking for a cohesive and sensible plan, that pick up my 485 page eBook as it serves as a sort of Companion Guide. IF you need ongoing support, check out my exclusive Private Facebook Support Group. Also, watch some of the Podcasts if you have not already as there are a lot of answers there too!

  19. Avatar

    Pilar Covington

    December 16, 2018 at 6:08 am

    How can you get your ex to unblock you during NC?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 16, 2018 at 4:25 pm

      Often you ex will unblock you without doing anything. The bigger question is what you should be doing during NC. Lots of elements to the process. Visit my home page for more info on all the resources available to you!

  20. Avatar

    Dee

    December 11, 2018 at 6:26 am

    HI Chris, Me and my ex-were together for 6 months but he had a child on me with his ex, and it hurt me deeply. I did the no contact rule and it was working because he was missing me but lead up to a few hookups and I wind up being clingy again so I backed off for months. He was often saying I was the one and would say that I was calling a lot. After not speaking with me he was often trying to get me to stay with him and go out on dates with him but I would tell him no because we had just started talking so I started calling him a lot because I felt he was tryna move on so he often block and unblock. He changed his number I am assuming because she wanted him to change and he did too. It has been a couple months now that he had changed his number and he still hasn’t reached out to me. First he told his sister he felt it was best if he didn’t say anything when he told his sister to tell that he was done talking to me and told her to tell me that he told me before so why am I asking again and he didn’t tell me a thing especially when I was on the phone with him before he even got his number change and all of a sudden he decided or say he been decided that he was done talking to me before he even got it changed and me and him both know he didn’t up and decide it before then. I don’t understand how you were talking to me about me staying with you and all of the other things then when I don’t do it the minute you asked, you move someone else in to give you the benefits without a ring and you are saying all these other things now. I said no because I wanted him to respect and value me, and for him to understand I will not lower my standards in moving in with him before I got engaged or married to him and that I am not these other women that he use to and I refuse to just do what he says to please him like the other women he is used to and for me to tolerate what they have by letting him get away with a lot with them. I’m honestly lost in this situation because I thought that if I didn’t give in to what he said, he would value me and it would make him want to be with me or do what it takes to be with me but it’s like its the total opposite with him. It’s like he wants a woman to make it easy for him and do what he says when he says it right then and there. I just don’t understand any of it or his behavior. I don’t know if he wants to be serious with this girl or is he just doing it to get back at me because of the fact that I had disappeared on him once before because he hurt me and he wants me to beg for him back. Its like he is trying to portray as his life is so much better without me to where he had his sister tell me tha he was trying to change and be a better man for her and they had moved in together somewhere else and come to find out they didn’t. The new gf would literally post about him every day and it’s like every since I have moved on, she stopped posting so much. I am have been being very positive about things, but recently his gf put up a picture and he didn’t look so happy and wasn’t smilling at all in the picture, he looked more like he didn’t want to take it. Is he doing all these because he wants the relationship that bad or he just doing it to me because he really doesn’t want me in his life and that’s his way of showing it to me? although he was the one that broke up with me and was doing all of those things, I learned to deal with things and the way he is acting especially with him and his girlfriend and dealing with the possibility of his gf posting him or about him and I just stopped asking his sister about him altogether. I haven’t been asking about him, talking about him, or having no type of contact with him every since may. The couple weeks ago his sister asked me did he ever text me and I just told her no because he really didn’t and I didn’t want to lie and start any drama. I feel like he either told her to ask me about him to see how I would react or asked her about me in some type of way or trying to keep tabs on me to make her ask that especially out of the blue and I thought maybe he told her he was planning on texting me eventually or something. I feel like I’m moving on and accepting thing so I stop talking to his sister about him or his relationships and continue to not have any dealings with him by asking his sister about him in any type of way. If I continue to do no contact and work on myself by not worrying about him, WIll he eventually give me his number to reach out and talk to me or should I just accept that he is really serious about this relationship and really doesn’t want to talk to me anymore?

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