Lately I don’t know what it is but I’ve been getting so many messages about text messaging.

Specifically: “Chris, my ex texted me Ha Ha, what does it mean and how do I respond to it?”

So, I thought it would be prudent for me to make a video for you so you would have an idea of how to respond to an ex boyfriend text.  After all, he went to the trouble of reaching out to you.  But your mind is probably working overtime trying to figure out how to respond to an ex who is contacting you and apparently might want you back.

So I am going to give you a lot more than just something to watch!

The 10 Questions About Responding To Your Ex’s Texts You Have Been Dying to Ask!

One of the things you will learn today is not only how to respond to an ex asking how you are doing, but let me give you some answers now on  how to deal with a whole assortment of text message questions he might send you such as:

1. When my ex texts me, “I miss you”.

He might indeed miss you a lot, but if you are in the middle of your no contact period, be strong.  The rush of dopamine he was use to getting when you were around is missing. He needs a fix. Don’t give it to him just yet.  Play you cards right, you can build greater value.

2. When your ex boyfriend texts you out of the blue, what does it mean?

It probably means he is curious about you.  Maybe he is a nice guy and just saying hello.  But more often than not, he is taking a temperature of the after breakup climate to see if you are open to talking.  So he may be testing you to get a read on your willingness to reconsider.  Depending on where you are in the ex recovery process, it may be appropriate to ignore him or respond and slowly repair the communication lines.

3. When your ex texts you, “Hey” or “What’s going on” or he says, “Are you missing me yet”

These weak little messages are just that. Weak and poor imitations of real conversation.  So if you are within the No Contact period, just ignore them.  If not, then meet these texts with what I describe below as a similar mirrored response.

4. What do you do if your ex boyfriend confesses he made a mistake leaving you or pleads for you to forgive him?

If he acts this way right after the breakup, then it is best you ignore him in most situations.  It’s most likely he is feeling it and is desperate for some attention.  But he may not have truly learned his lesson.  Now,  there are exceptions.  If the history of the relationship has been strong, then perhaps he made a bad mistake and is willing to meet with you and offer a heartfelt apology.

5. How do you respond to your ex saying, “I love you”

Well, perhaps your ex does love you.  Then again, he may love himself more and wants you to be around to ease his pain.  You have to ask yourself, has enough time gone by for the wounds of the breakup to heal.  Stay true to your plan and focus on your recovery and rebuild your confidence.  If he loves you that much, it won’t go anywhere.

6. And how in the heck do you handle it when your ex’s girlfriend texts you asking questions about him?  Ouch!

Hearing from your ex’s girlfriend can be a bit awkward and weird.  If she is shopping for advice on your ex boyfriend, then tell her he is a wonderful man.  Use a little bit of reverse psychology.  If you say anything negative about your ex, she may go running to him to use it against you.

7. Why is he texting you so often?  Are there reasons why your ex texts you so much?  Is it good or bad.  What does it mean?

It probably means he is a bit stir crazy.  If your ex is firing texts at you left and right, it could be for any number of reasons.  He may be impulsive and insecure and you are his rock.  So in this way, he is using you.  Or he could be having a bit of a panic attack and just can’t help himself.  Then again, your ex may be a real swine and is just harassing you with his texts.

8. What if he texts me every day, but I am not interested.  How do I get him to stop?

You have two choices.  Block him.  Or send him a nice reply, explaining you are in a different place in your life now and would ask him to respect your privacy and stop texting you.

9. I have been trying to avoid my ex boyfriend but what if he texts me during no contact.  Should I break it.  I am afraid I will lose him.

It is a common fear people have.  They fear if they don’t respond to their Ex’s text message, he will give up on them and it will be all over forever. Rarely does that happen.  It is much better to stay the course with your No Contact.  If you must, you can always send him a text explaining you need some space and won’t be communicating for the next few weeks to heal and focus on other needs.

10. What if he texts me first with nice things to say to me.  Should I stop the no contact rule and give him another chance?

I wrote a book called The No Contact Rule which talks about making exceptions.  This could be a time where you make one if certain other factors fall into place.  If you have spend a decent amount of time in No Contact and your relationship history has been good with him, then it would be OK to respond and proceed slowly.

Now Let’s go over some ex back texting fundamentals!

When Should You Respond To Your Ex’s Text Messages?

One of the biggest mistakes that I see men and women make when it comes to texting their ex is they text them too soon.  You can get so excited and wrapped up about hearing from your ex, you just drop everything you are doing.  Never mind that he only texts and doesn’t call you.  Or that it has only been 4 days since the breakup.

You probably were so invested in the relationship and miss him or her so much, you are just dying to hear what he or she has to say. Unfortunately, problems usually arise when you feel desperate to get the communications started up again.

It’s really important that you first implement the no contact rule when you’re thinking of texting your ex and stick with it.

Why? Well, this can do a lot of things for you but mostly it’s to make sure you don’t act like this.

“Should I text him back.  What if I don’t?  What if I do, but he doesn’t respond! Why am I in this position to begin with?

Now, I can go on and on about the no contact rule and the many different important applications that it serves for you when you’re trying to get your ex back and why it’s important to do it.

But I’ve already done so many videos. I’ve written so many articles on it.  So I think I’ve covered it pretty well for you.

So What Are The 5 Situations Where You Can Respond To a Text From Your Ex?

1. Implement No Contact To Set the Stage for Future Text Messages

You guessed it.  Don’t go chasing after your ex’s text messages until after you have implemented No Contact.  If you do it sooner, before NC, or after, you are asking for trouble.  Angry and resentful feelings are always lingering near the surface shortly after the breakup. Much more often than not, you and your ex will butt heads.

2. First Allow Time To Heal Before You Try and Answer His Texts

Before responding to your ex boyfriend (or girlfriend), be sure you have invested enough time to heal.  Breakups are hard on couples and you will be hurting emotionally and physically.  When your ex boyfriend breaks up with you, it feels like a punch in the gut.  Your feelings will be raw and you will be confused, stunned…all sorts of emotions will flood your mind.  So you need quality time to allow for your body and mind to flush out those stress hormones and recover.

3. Be Sure To Build Value To Draw Your Ex In

You shouldn’t be even thinking of answering your ex’s text messages until you have had sufficient time to build value.  I am not saying you aren’t already an awesome person.  But there are things you can do to cause your ex to see that he made a mistake.  You want to reinforce that you have some special qualities that he has taken for granted and along the way, pick up a few new things that will cause him to sit up and notice.  There are lots of things you can do to become the best version of yourself and make sure he knows about it

4. To Explain Briefly To Your Ex Why You Need Space (versus just ghosting him with no explanation)

In some occasions, it serves you to give your ex a heads up as to why you are adopting the No Contact Rule.  This works well in those situations where you believe he will react very poorly if you completely shut down communications without him being aware of why.  You can briefly explain that you need to get in touch with your feelings and work on personal goals.  While your ex bf may still feel rejected and frustrated with your explanation, it shows you as being a classy person and serves you in the long run.

5. Respond To Your Ex’s Text If You Deem It To Be An Emergency or Critical Information.

Just please be reminded, before you text your ex, make sure you have gone through a no contact period of time where you have created some space and a communications blackout with your ex.  If an emergency has occurred, it is understandable you respond. If there is important information you both need to exchange, then certainly attend to that, then return to NC.

When Shouldn’t You Respond To Your Ex’s Text Message

Just to make sure we are on same right page, there are certain conditions that should be made before you text him back which I described above. Nevertheless, you should know there are certain tricks and ploys your ex boyfriend (or ex girlfriend) might try on you to induce you to respond. These texting rules apply before, during, and after the No Contact Period.

Let’s go over those situations in which you should avoid answering his text messages:

  • Immediately following the breakup (24 hours).  This period can lead to all kinds of chaos.  Best to let things calm down a bit
  • When your ex is being sarcastic or bitter about what has happened between the two of you.
  • Your ex sends you a desperate texting plea to meet to discuss the break up.
  • When you feel angry and resentful.  Fight back those urges to text him because it will make things worse.
  • Avoid texting him back after the No Contact period if you are unsure if he is the right guy for you.
  • Just avoid answering his message if you suspect he drunk texted you.
  • Don’t respond to his text messages if you have already decided to move on and end the relationship permanently

Four Kinds of Text Message Responses You Can Send To Your Ex

So, let’s assume you have done all the things I described above to better your ex recovery chances. Now, what I like to do is give you four text message responses that should prove effective with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

But first let’s talk about the many different experts out there who may just give you simplistic answers to what is in reality a very complicated situation requiring planning and insight into the ex recovery process.   Some experts will say stuff like,

“Don’t reply right away.”

But under some circumstances, as you seek to build attraction, you may want to reply promptly, taking the conversation to its peak, then ending it on its high point.

“Be Bubbly”

It does sound good, right?  Why not be happy sounding and positive.  It its a drag on your recovery chances if you are whining or sounding negative or blaming.  But you don’t won’t to sound overly happy in some situations, because it might not fit the situation.  You can come of as sounding superficial or as a person who is deluding themselves. Sometimes its pays to be more serious, more mature, even reserved in order to present the right image.  Being confident and and keeping your stuff together certainly is advisable.

Sometimes people say…

“Always have something interesting to say.”

Actually I’m kind of guilty of that last one. Now, here’s the important point. When someone says be bubbly, have something interesting to say, don’t reply right away, they are just throwing generalities at you, where your situation may require more of tactical approach.

That’s kind of why I wanted to put this video together for you. I wanted to create something that was really specific on how you should respond when your ex texts messages you in a certain way.

But before we get into the details of that, there is an important concept that I need you to understand.

1. First Kind of Text Response: It’s referred to as Mirroring

“I am one handsome devil.”

No, not that type of mirroring.

When I say Mirroring, I simply mean mirroring your ex’s text to you.

So, when your ex texts you, he puts a certain amount of himself into the text. He puts a certain amount of effort into it, if you will. Well, imagine that he texts you with something like this.

How should you respond to that?

Well, if you’re not mirroring, you’ll probably respond like this.

But the problem with that is, that’s not the proper mirroring. He is clearly not putting as much effort into the text message as you are.  Whatever the reason, it’s not so cool is it.  So, what would be the correct way to mirror his text?

Well, you’d simply do something like this.


Now, if that’s too confusing, don’t worry. I’m going to explain it a bit more when I get to the specific text messages. In fact, I think we’re already there. Let’s just get right down to it.

Let’s take a look at 4 common text messages that your ex boyfriend will send to you and how exactly you should respond to them.

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back Again With Our Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

Learn More

2. Second Kind of Text Response: The Confident Text Reply

Now, let’s pretend that your ex boyfriend, after spending a good amount of time missing you, sends you this text message.

“I’ve been thinking about you so much!”

Well, your natural instinct will be to think to yourself…

“Oh my god!! Oh my god!! He texted me!! He misses me!”

And well, I can certainly understand the excitement of having your ex boyfriend text you something like that.  I am sure it is exciting to finally hear from him.  But you have to be careful you don’t let all of your excitement bleed into your text message. You don’t want him to perceive you as being desperate or a wounded soul who will do just about anything to have him back in your life.

You need to reflect confidence.  You need to beam with value.  Remember, you are the Ungettable Girl!

You want to reinforce to your ex that you are a catch. Your are not easy.  He needs to do some chasing to  win you over.  And your ex boyfriend has some catching up to do to properly woo you over.

His text messages to you are his way of feeling you out.  He is like a hunter, trying to track you down.  So let him work on chasing you down because he will love it, whether he realizes it or not.

So instead of a bubbly or silly text reply, you should confidently say something like this:

“Well, of course you do.”

It’s flirting. It’s cheeky. It’s confident, but not arrogant.  It is really a smart way to go.

3. Third Kind of Text Response:  More Text Mirroring!

Now, let’s return to one of the most common types of text messages your ex boyfriend will send you.  It could happen anytime.  Remember, if he sends you one of these kind of one word text gems during the no contact period, unless you are toward the end of your no contact timeline, then it’s best you ignore him.  Otherwise here is how you handle these provocative texts you might receive from your ex (just kidding – nothing provocative or creative with these kinds of messages!).

Sometimes your guy (or girlfriend) will just test the waters.  He is not sure where your head is, so he may send you a kinda brain dumb text message.

You know, he’ll start a conversation with:




“How goes it”

Missing me yet”

Though that last one may not be common.  It’s a little bold!

So, how do you deal with this?

How do you respond to a briefer than brief text message conversation started by your ex boyfriend?

Well, there’s a lot of different ways but remember when I was talking about mirroring and how you need to basically mirror the effort that he’s putting into his text messages? You should mirror this text message. So, if he says to you,


You should say:


Get it? Or if you really, really want to get technical, don’t respond at all. He puts in minimal effort, you put in no effort. Best in most cases, your replay will be received positively.  It is a slightly positive response.  Giving him anything more reduces your value.

4. Fourth Kind of Text Response: The Stand Up Text Message

Now, unfortunately this next text message happens a little too much and it’s painful when it does happen.

So, what is this text message?

Well, it’s the stand up text message.

“Hey, I can’t go out with you today. I got super busy.”

This is a painful kind of message to get for a lot of women, especially when they put in so much effort. It takes so much work to get an ex boyfriend back, so when you get a text message where your ex is basically standing you up, should you act like this….

“Hmm, can’t go out with me huh??

Well, let’s see what Sebastian has to say about that.”

Well certainly, I don’t want you doing anything like this!

So, what’s the play here?

Do you simply just accept the fact that he stood you up an basically lay down and take it?


There is an appropriate way of handling this and doing it with class and a little zinger at the end.

The correct play is to send a message like this.

“Oh, that’s completely fine. In return, I met the most amazing people.”

This text message works really great because it makes him understand that there are consequences to standing you up.  It reinforces to your ex boyfriend that you are a person of value and if he keeps blowing you off, he might just lose you to somebody else.

It makes him understand that you’re a hot commodity even works better if you actually have pictures to go with it. So,  now he’s not just thinking you’re making it up, he can see with his own eyes that you are quite the popular girl and not even shaken by his lousy move.

Now, let’s go to the final and probably most common and most asked text message that I get.

5. Fifth Kind of Text Response:  Meet Him With Mirrored Silence  (Bonus Tip!)

I am giving you one more lesson. It’s all about the dreaded one word response after you have put your heart and soul into a text message.

So, pretend for a moment that you sent this text message to your ex.

“I miss you so much. I feel like I am barely hanging on.”

There’s a lot of emotion in there. There’s a lot of words in there. You put a lot of effort into it. Except after he gets the text message, he responds with this:

“Ha ha!”

So, what do you do with this kind of insensitive text response by your ex boyfriend?

Do you get really angry at him for basically not responding how you wanted him to respond?

No, stay true to the mirroring tactic. If he says ha ha, you say ha ha right on back.  Then go silent for a several days.  If your ex boyfriend is going to at like an insensitive ass, ridiculing your heartfelt text, you need to ghost him for a while.

Simply don’t respond to him for a good spell. You silence will speak volumes and reset the expectation that you have no tolerance for immaturity

Make him understand that there are consequences when he doesn’t put effort into his text messages.

And that’s going to do it for this video of the ex boyfriend recovery YouTube channel!

I want to take a moment and thank you for watching to the end. If you’d like to learn more about text messaging, simply take some time and navigate around my website. I  have a quiz that you can take on text messaging. I also have so many other resources that will likely suit your needs!

In fact, have an entire guide on Text Messaging and it is a Bible on how to respond in all sorts of situations!

197 thoughts on “The Four Best Ways To Respond To Your Exes Text Messages”

  1. Avatar


    July 19, 2019 at 10:40 am

    Hi Chris

    My ex texted me on Facebook messenger last night saying “I’m just gonna admit it to you, I miss you.” We’ve been apart for almost a year now and I really don’t know how to respond to this text. I thought of just ignoring it but I feel like I need to text something back.. HELP!!

  2. Avatar


    July 3, 2019 at 4:32 am

    So, I broke up with my bf because he was treating me poorly after one of our mutual friends broke up with her bf and was spending all his time hanging out with her, doing couple-like things together (obviously I wasn’t cool about it and felt totally disrespected). After two months of texting each other every 5 or so days we meet to talk and return some stuff and I’ve been in no contact rule for about 40 days or so.
    Today I shared some pictures of a small trip I did with a friend for a long weekend and he texted me asking about my trip (“did u really traveled to X place for X event? I would’ve loved to go but I had to work :(“). I asked about his new job (he was unemployed at the time we broke up) and congratulated him on getting the position he was after. Then he stopped talking so I mirrowed. Guessing I’ll text him with some interesting stuff tomorrow or the following day and see how it goes 🙂

  3. Avatar


    June 14, 2019 at 2:51 am

    Hi Chris,

    I was trying to be supportive for my bf by cleaning around his apt where I usually, because he is so stressed with work and school. He kept nitpicking everything I did and yelled at me about how I cleaned. Three days past by and I decided to speak to him, as I calmed down and I could get impulsive at times. I told him how I felt and he just focused on his view on the case. He said he couldn’t relate and understand what I wanted. I told him I would appreciate if he didn’t speak to me that way and that I was trying to support him the best way I could. He then said I should only stay in his place once a wk, because he thought me staying in his place would make ya argue less. I got upset and started picking up my stuff at 1AM, he helped me. I left and took a breather for four days. He txts me random things about his family. When I try to meet up to talk about what happened and put it behind us he just ignored that txt. Two wks later I’m trying to speak to him, he doesn’t want to and he txts how could he speak to the person that left him when he most needed me. That I left him. I write I didn’t and that I’m sorry he misunderstood but that I never did that. He ignored it. One week later, at this point three weeks past I txt him I missed him and he said to not txt him, that I have to understand how serious this is, to delete his number and forget about him.

    Now keep in mind we have been dating for almost three years, this happens may 15 about to be a month. He kept using my Netflix account so I changed my password because I’m nice but he is taking advantage of it. He txts me that night and says can I have the password. I ignored the msg and he txt me four days ago
    are you up? I reply yes and he just spoke about himself through txt and then said nice catching up with you good night.

    At this point I’m writing you because I’m confused and know that he is my ex but I don’t know how to handle this at all, it’s really hard to process as he never communicated anything to me. And he told me to delete his number and is txt me. So what can I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 14, 2019 at 3:40 pm

      Hi Ana…it looks like you would benefit from Program. Your guy seems to have some pent up issues and sometimes employing No Contact for a period of time and doing the other things associated with a sensible ex recovery plan is the best move.

  4. Avatar


    June 11, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    My ex contacted me about 30 days into NC. He wrote I think about and miss you everyday and I will never stop loving you. You’re a very special person and I just wanted to remind you of that. First that last sentience really bugged me. Now what…

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      June 11, 2019 at 6:11 pm

      Hi Shannon…usually NC periods run about 30 days so you might consider using my recommendations covered in my Program on how to reach out.

  5. Avatar


    May 26, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    what if your EX sent you message “U miss us?” after 45 days of NC. what should the ideal reaponse to that?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 27, 2019 at 8:35 pm

      So Brilyn…you have to ask yourself how long should your NC period be. It may be time to reach out and see if you can ignite the spark again, but you should do it the way I teach in my Program

  6. Avatar


    May 13, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    Hi Chris,
    Things with my ex ended a little messy a couple of days ago. He cheated on me. The ending text from him sounded something like “…good, I’m tired of being on trial all the time. Good luck with your life.” I immediately implemented NC (because I honestly believe that he had a poor lapse in judgement, and that we’re supposed to be together someday), and today is day 4. He messaged me earlier today saying “I hope you’re doing okay.” I don’t know what that means, or what his thought process behind the message is, and I don’t know how to respond or if I should respond at all. I’m hoping to get some clarity on the situation.

    Thank you,

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 14, 2019 at 2:27 am

      Hi Jill…implementing NC was the right move. Your ex has some lessons to learn and let’s hope the space and time will reveal to him how big a mistake he made. It seems it is starting to catch up with him.

  7. Avatar

    Maria Smith

    April 26, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    its really amazing and awesome post i rally like your this post thanks for share and keep it up..

  8. Avatar


    April 13, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    Hi Chris. My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and I’ve been doing no contact ever since. Then last night, he just texted me out of the blue and said he just isn’t emotionally ready for a relationship and it woukd be unfair to continue things with me. What does that even mean? He already broke up with me! Shoukd I even respond to him? Do I even have a chance of getting him back now?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 14, 2019 at 1:29 pm

      Hi Victoria….so I think No Contact is the right medicine. Best to have a solid plan helping you throughout this period which includes understanding all the elements of the No Contact Rule. Guys will text out of the blue to try and trigger a response

  9. Avatar


    March 23, 2019 at 9:37 am


    I helped a lot to my ex during our 3years of relationship, about 2months ago my ex talked to me disrespectfully and said I’m not in love with you then I moved to No-Contact. After 1month she messaged me for my birthday and admitted that I helped her too much and said she loves me, after 12hours I replied normally and she changed her txt tonnage and told me I’m the most stubborn person that she ever saw. I said I’m not stubborn, but you told me something which is my red line and you crossed that line.
    She didn’t message anymore, but I know she will message me again when she needs something or seeks help.

    Should I reply to her if she asked for help or something else?
    if Yes, How should I respond?


  10. Avatar


    February 4, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    Hi Chris,

    So to briefly sum up my story. I dated this guy (childhood friend) about 2 years ago now. We dated for a few months, he ghosted, I did no contact, attempted to contact with little success. He has attempted over the last couple of years to contact with. The last time he texted me around October or November, we were talking for a bit and then of course he just went ghost again. So I changed my number, never gave it to him. (We also don’t follow each other on social media anymore, but my account it public). I’ve come to accept that although I love him, I deserve more. But a couple days ago, he messages me out of the blue on Instagram with a heart emoji. Thinking this took no effort, I just didn’t bother messaging back. I would love the chance to rekindle what we had. How can I get him to notice me and put more effort into trying to get me back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 4, 2019 at 5:11 pm

      Hi Zan…best to have a sensible ex recovery plan. So check out my Program as it will help you thru this post breakup period.

  11. Avatar


    January 15, 2019 at 5:41 am

    We broke up because he said he needed time to sort his life out. All along I’ve had trust issues with him because I found out halfway through the relationship that he’d been chatting up other girls and asking them out. But he said he was willing to try to build back the trust. Eventually he started becoming distant, saying he had a lot on his mind about his career and personal life. What eventually triggered the breakup was when I demanded he show proof that he was exactly where he said he was (which he didn’t anyway).

    So it ended and we agreed that being friends would be better. The day right after he’s texting me already, showing me what he’s been up to and then the following day again asking how my day’s been. This confuses me and I have no idea how to respond.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 16, 2019 at 4:03 am

      Hi Diaz! Have you considered NC?

  12. Avatar


    December 20, 2018 at 10:44 am

    If he starts to text after 30 days NC, how soon is the best way to reply?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 21, 2018 at 1:01 am

      My recommendation is pick up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is lays it all out in great detail!

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 21, 2018 at 1:01 am

      My recommendation is pick up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is lays it all out in great detail!

  13. Avatar


    October 29, 2018 at 5:47 pm

    What should I respond if my ex texted me “I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you” after a bad breakup 3 weeks ago? I have been keeping NC What does this mean?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 29, 2018 at 11:55 pm

      Hi Lauren!

      Well, its sounds positive on its surface. He could be feel a bit of guilt and also trying to elicit a response from you. Probably best to stay in NC and see if he reaches out again positively. With more positives, then perhaps you end NC a bit early. A lot of factors involved with that though! I cover it in my 247 page eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”!

  14. Avatar


    September 10, 2018 at 1:09 am

    Hi so what should I say if my ex boyfriend sends me a sweet happy birthday text and wishing me well after about 50 days of NC?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 10, 2018 at 2:00 am

      Hi Dee….So first, I would not recommend a 50 day NC, unless in a unique case. And certainly if you are interested in your ex and he sends you a pleasant message after all that time, you would respond positively and explore the connection. Do you have my 485 page eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it serves as a comprehensive breakup guide.

  15. Avatar


    August 8, 2018 at 4:34 am

    hello , i am trying to post a comment but its always disappear

    anyway could u please advise me
    i know a person for 5 months i know its a short time we are also LDR but we have been talking daily and almost 24 hour . he likes to talk all the time

    we stopped talking once for 3 weeks . then he received a gift from me so he talked to me back

    second time we fight and i stopped talking to him and blocked him 2 months . i unblock him, so he received a message i sent before blocking him and he answered the message .that happen before 1 week ago

    i feel he wanted to talk but he is so stubborn and thats really make me sad.
    i mean if i dont make any sign . he will not talk ! and he also letting me so easily
    ( thats why i feel anger and fight with him always i want to change that )

    we start talking and he was so cold .. careless telling me to find my way
    then we start to talk normally now . but he keep telling me he let it go in that day i left
    and he is not ready for me . he wasn’t even ready for me .and lots of stuff like that
    at first i was trying to tell him we was good but he did not try
    then i told him i dont want to talk about the past lets be friends ( is that good ? or i might make it worse by saying that ) ?can u give me ur advise and what should i respond here?

    and also could you advise me should i talk normally and answer him like before ?
    i have read what u said that i should not send him daily ” but i have a different satiation here.
    1. he is the one who sending me daily now so what should i do ? pretend that i’m not seeing the messages for day or two ? or just few hours ? or what ?
    2. the other thing that our relation is still new and it need a strong base ” i’m afraid if i did not build a more nice memories he might find someone to give him the attention ” because he need to talk daily that what he said when we talk first time ever
    3. now he start to send a lot of positive things then he say oh i should not do that because ” he is making his guard down ” he was refusing to tell me details about his day now he is telling me or he is say sorry when he dont respond something
    so should i tell him that i like his good behaviors ? and be postie with him or pretend normal and ignore more ?

  16. Avatar


    January 3, 2018 at 3:02 am

    I’m sorry for the typos I haven’t had sleep and I’m using my mobile in the dark of my room.
    Please help me what style fits a highly insecure guy and yet he will learn to respect my parameters.

    Thank You.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 7:00 pm

  17. Avatar


    January 3, 2018 at 2:57 am

    My exboyfriend and I shared a deep, loving relationship of 2 months and had petty quarrels, but really fought once not talking for only 4 days max. Now lately I found out he has tried chatting girls in foreign countries and we agreed we will not chat with the opposite sex specially random people online not friends or family. I stuck to that and he did not. Then aside form that he has been touchy with my new friend ( he pulled her arm when making her go to tje dance floor witj hks friend and lightly kicked her but while dancing. ) when we went on a double date with his friend. My friend told me she did not like it and clearly my boyfriend was very drunk that night and was too high on alcohol. I was embarrased too for his actions and felt disrespected. That triggered me to ignore him on messenger our only form of communication as I am a tourist here in his country. I know he has deep insecurities as his dad died when he was 7 and his first love left him for a fixed marriage. Thus the need for flirting and constant validation in even the slightest form. I will not tolerate him though so I ignored him 4 days which is our normal when angry. Instead of being sorry.. He infriended me on fb ( he does that to make me reply ) and said- goodbye!!! I then told him. I did not like your actions with my friend and for the 2nd time broke your promise of not trying to chat with girls. So okay.. Goodbye also. Just know that I never did the same.. All I did was respect you and love you.
    Then I started the no contact. On the 14th day for new year’s I had to text our common friends a greeting and decided I will be polite to throw him one generic happy new year and would not want a convo. He replied with one word- happy. I continued on with no contact, but on 16th day at 4am he messaged several times asking if I’m awake and that he misses me.. I did not reply. I don’t know what to do from here. He is highly insecure. I’m afraid he might block me when he gives up during no contact- he is that type. He already un-friended me on fb.. It is our only way of communication. Plus he did not actually cheat he just likes to flrt. On day 5 alone of our no contact.. He posted a music video with lyrics like being in the dark and almost like dead and someone should just rip his heart out. Should I do only 21 days not discounting the new year day as it ends on the 8th. Or start from new year the 21 again or do a 30-day from what point of my applied nc already..? Will it be too hard to handle for an insecure guy? I also do not want to be blocked. I know that’s what he will do next to avoid the pain. Same time I want bounderies established. What should I do about my fragile situation dear Expert? :))

  18. Avatar


    November 1, 2017 at 7:48 pm


    I am a gay man and my ex boyfriend messaged me this after 29 days of no contact –

    “So, today I had to change password at work because it was expiring. That’s where I realized I’ve been using your name as my password for the past 90 days. It made me think of you. I hope you’re doing great! I loved your Halloween Costume:)”

    I replied – “Thanks. Hope you’re well.”

    Was I rude? He saw my Halloween pictures on Facebook but didn’t like it. But he messaged me 3 days after Halloween appreciating my costume. Also, if he has been using my name as the password, obviously he would login everyday at work using that password, why think of me when it is about to expire. Do you think it’s an excuse to talk to me? or is he just trying to play with my feelings to test the waters? He asked me to be friends with him after break up to which I had said I can’t be friends. And I received this text after 29 days of strict no contact. Also, was I rude with my reply to his message? What should I do next?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 1, 2017 at 9:44 pm

      Hi Andrew,

      It’s not rude.. But when you replied your nc was broken.. So you can start slowly building rapport now.. And yes, he probably is thinking about you

  19. Avatar


    August 30, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    My partner broke up with me in January 2017. We had been together for 5yrs and I had been wanting to get married. We talked about it but he never committed to the idea and made weak plans concerning the future. I suggested we take a week to think about what we want and after that week he was no clearer. regarding our plans. We argued and he told me he needs to focus on himself as he has nothing to offer and there was a sense of panic, sadness and desperation in what he was saying. He’s cheated on me via text and taken girls out whilst we were together. It’s likely that he was physically unfaithful too. I got upset following the break up but he was resolute and his mind could’t be changed. I begged and cried and he stayed with me that night to make sure that I was ok, but still insisted that he needs to focus on himself. He walked out of my life and asked me to respect his need for time. I couldn’t accept the break up and kept in touch, as did he after 3 weeks of initially barely responding to me. Following the initial silence we would talk and still see each other (at each other’s homes) but we didn’t go out and do the social things like we used to. We were intimate on 3 occasion within a period of 4 months, but the majority of the time that we met we were not intimate. He’s currently in the process of renovating a property he bought and would ask me to look at bathrooms and kitchens with him. He’d send me the options to choose from and send me pictures of the house as it was renovated. He also asked, quite generally, how I’d feel if I ever lived with a lodger/tenant. I knew this was something he was considering as his mum had told me that she had suggested he take in a tenant to save money once he moved into the property. The plan before we broke up had been to move into the property once married. Anyway the property is taking longer than expected and as time has passed I became impatient and dissatisfied with the lack of progress. I brought up the relationship and he pulled away and contact became less. This was around 4 months after our break up. The following month he then saw messages between myself and his mum and was angered that we were ‘plotting’ behind his back to get us back together. He asked to see the messages in my phone, but refused and he told me to leave despite me apologising for the way the messages made him feel. I get on with his mum and she wants nothing more than for us to reconcile After this I resolved to move on. He then messaged me when I got home but I didn’t respond. He messaged me again the next day asking me to call him, but I didn’t so then he called me and I ignored this too. I didn’t hear from him for the next two days, then he called again. No response and so the following day he sent a number of angry texts telling me that I had no right to be angry or to ignore him as he was the wronged party. I then caved and we met up talked and parted amicably but not as a couple. Again my intention was not to contact him as I didn’t like where the relationship had gone. A week later he messaged me and I told him I was at the gym (new hobby I had taken up). He then called me and we spoke. I ended the conversation and there was no contact for nearly 3 weeks before he contacted me again asking how I was. Initially I was quite collected but then I binged on contacting him as I had missed him and sent lots of messages. His responses were positive but I knew I was going about things the wrong way. I then asked to him to see a film and he told me he had seen it already and when I asked to meet up and some excuse about not having time so I told him his contacting me sets me back and that it’s best we part ways properly. He didn’t respond straight away but contacted me two days later on my dad’s birthday wishing him happy birthday and apologised for ignoring my last message, but said he didn’t want to go over things again. He had previously said he needs to focus on himself and to allow him to miss me and make his own decision regarding us. I responded to his messaging by saying thanks and that I would pass his message to my dad and nothing more. It was at this point that I found out about the NC Rule. I went NC for 23 days and then reached out with a first contact text. His response was positive and in my 2nd response I ended the conversation and didn’t respond to his last message. I also didn’t contact him the next day and then the following day he contacted me asking if I was up to date with a TV show. He then sent another text asking me to call him because he wanted advice regarding a job application which I believe was an excuse. I didnt see his message straight away and when I did I asked him to give me half an hour to call him as I was busy. I then called him and we spoke on the phone for the first time after NC. The converstaion was friendly and he asked for advice. I made sure that it did not go beyond his job and I didn’t volunteer information about myself and didn’t enquire about him either. I followed up the next day by emailing him information that I promised, that would help with his interview, and also got back to his question about the TV show. He then asked me more questions about the job, and was really upbeat. I responded to his questions and then told him he’d do great and wished him well. I had plan to follow up in 2 days time on the day of his interview to see how it went, but today he text me thanking me once again for my help and giving me another update about the job.

    My question is does this sound positive and should I resume texting even though we’ve now spoken on the phone? I don’t want to skips stages and I want him to work at getting me back if that’s his intention. I’m actively changing my profile picture and have hinted that I’m out at times in my text responses. I’m a lot more detached than I’ve ever been in my responses to him although I’m trying to be fun and helpful and to rebuild that emotional attachment again. I have a feeling that he’s wondering if I’m different towards him now because i’m not readily divulging information and I’m somewhat nice but aloof. He may think I’m dating now as I have boundaries.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      Hi Lucy,

      It’s ok to interchange texting and calling to further build rapport.

  20. Avatar


    August 4, 2017 at 10:38 am


    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 6, 2017 at 8:28 am

      why did you separate?

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