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2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

  1. Nicole

    July 25, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    My NC with my ex is over today. (I last texted him on June 25 & he didn’t respond.) What do I need to text him to get a sure response from him & start a conversation? I’ve read your article above, but I honestly don’t think bringing up good memories of our past relationship will get him to respond. Also how can I get him to meet up with me so we can talk? I really want us to talk in person so I can show him that I’m sincere about our relationship.

    1. admin

      July 26, 2013 at 2:46 am

      Hi Nicole,

      You don’t want to rush into meeting up too soon. You kind of have to lead up to it.

      You could send him a text like: “I have something to tell you that i’ve never told you before.”

      That would interest him enough to respond. What you have to “tell” him is up to you though. Think outside the box and make it compelling.

    2. Nicole

      July 26, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      So far my ex has been responding to my texts, but I don’t know how to end the conversation. (I think he works from 10am-5pm.) I also checked his fb last night & he still has 2 pictures of us up. What does that mean?

    3. admin

      July 28, 2013 at 3:56 am

      Don’t read too much into the pictures. Don’t let it get to your head. Also, don’t be afraid to abruptdly end the conversation. In fact, you always want to leave him wanting more.

    4. Nicole

      August 4, 2013 at 6:14 am

      I texted my ex earlier & we had quite an interesting conversation. I gave him a card right after we broke up & he told me that he read it again. Does this mean he wants to try to fix our relationship?

    5. admin

      August 5, 2013 at 3:10 am

      I wouldn’t go quite that far but I think it is a super good sign. Just take things one step at a time. You are willing to fix the relationship so with time he might be willing to as well.

    6. Nicole

      July 26, 2013 at 8:25 pm

      I just recently ended the conversation about 5 minutes, by telling him that I’ll talk to him later. So now I’ll just wait for him to initiate contact right?

    7. admin

      July 27, 2013 at 5:47 am

      Well, he may reach out first but wait a couple of days and if he doesn’t you can contact him again. Always leave him wanting more.

    8. Nicole

      July 26, 2013 at 6:04 am

      Omg you’re a lifesaver literally, lol! I texted my ex about something sports related & he replied a minute later. I didn’t check my phone until a whole hour later, so I was on the edge of my seat. I just replied to him now & I’ll be waiting patiently on his response. Thanks for your advice, it has been so helpful! I really hope it will help me get back with my ex & stay with him for a lifetime. Just wondering though, what do I do if he doesn’t reply to my second text? Do I write him a letter or just give him a few days to respond?

    9. admin

      July 28, 2013 at 2:46 am

      If he doesn’t respond to your second text then you need to wait a little longer before you try anything else. Usually, when an ex doesnt reply it means that he is not ready to have a conversation with you.

  2. Hmpf

    July 24, 2013 at 6:10 am

    My boyfriend and I of a year recently broke up. It was mutual because we fought too much about petty things and didn’t agree on what was wrong and what was right. About 4 days after our break up I texted him just to see if he was doing ok. He said he was ok but also really upset and alone. We didn’t talk for a few days after that and this time he texted me first asking if I was faithful for our entire relationship (which I was). We talked all night and both fell asleep without saying goodbye which lead to us talking some more. Throughout that conversation we both said we were grateful for our relationship with each other and thankful to have met each other, etc. Finally the conversation ended and we said goodbye, he said he’s always here for me. Would the not contacting him for 30 days work still or am I too late to make him miss me anymore?

    1. admin

      July 25, 2013 at 2:01 am

      I don’t think it’s too late and usually you can get him to miss you by taking a step back and disappearing for a while.

    2. katherine

      July 25, 2013 at 7:11 am

      Thanks, I hope so.

  3. Wossen

    July 24, 2013 at 6:01 am

    My boyfriend and i were on a break for 10 days, we decided to start over and i just was thinking if i can do something while were starting over to fix the relationship? Please help me because i want him he loves me but he’s confused or not sure of what he want how can i do the NO CONTACT rule if were trying to start over its hurts me everyday to not talk to him like we use to, guess thats a female trait. P/s if were starting over do you have a How to get your ex back while you guys are starting over? its really needed please and thanks

    p.s he wants to start slow and i just dont know how to do that i want to go back to the relationship we had

    i hope you have some advice for “how to get your ex back while you guys are starting over” advice would be amazing because i would better my self in the relationhip

    should i change my hair should i colour it should i get a nose piercing? or should not making a change because we are starting over?

    1. admin

      July 25, 2013 at 1:59 am

      I think I already answered your comment earlier.

      However, I think I will write up a page on that for sure.

    2. Wossen

      August 13, 2013 at 12:18 am

      i can’t seem to find it

  4. Roxy

    July 23, 2013 at 1:19 am

    Hey, i really liked your plans, but my case i quiet different, my ex boyfriend cheatted on me for another girl, she studies with him in the same college, i’ve been dating him for 6 years o i love him so much and still, it’s been 5 months of the breakup and i’ve heard that the girl who has cheatted on me with left him for another guy, and i’ve heard too that he is dating another girl, i did the NC plan till now and recently he asked my friend and told her what roxy said to you about me? and he wants to get my attention somehow, i really want him back and i still love him, he is my neighbour aswell, i really wants him back but i don’t know what to do exactly? it’s been 2 months of the NC plan, pleaaaaaaasseeeee help meeee!!!! and please reply me on my email so i can see the answer please i’m begging you!

    1. admin

      July 23, 2013 at 3:24 am

      Have you tried any of the text messages on this page? I think your probably might be that you are coming off as desperate, no offense. Desperation to a guy is like uber unattractive.

    2. Roxy

      July 24, 2013 at 12:08 am

      Pease can you tell me exactly what to do? i see him every single minute and as i’m writting this message i hear his voice! please help i really want him back!

  5. Tiffani

    July 22, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Hey Chris, I have an issue. My ex broke up with me because he says he felt he wasn’t in love with me as much I was in love with him. We talked for days after the break up about month ago, he says he loves me but needs to get his life together so if we got back together he was in a better place for us. he confuses me! We have a project we have been doing together which forces us to see each other making the NC hard! When he sees me he flirts, gets very touchy and wants to hug and kiss. Of course I want it but I know it’s bad. He asked me to sleep over the other night and I left while he was sleeping because I was uncomfortable. We didn’t have sex, and the next day he texted me when did you leave? I responded simple i had to get up early for work. I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been 3 days. I went to a party last night and met someone. This guy is all about me but I can’t stop thinking about my ex. I know its a rebound i think…What do I do when I have to see him next? Or texts me when we going to finish our project? Is it too soon to try the jealousy thing I moved on with pics on FB? I am just so confused help!!!

    1. admin

      July 23, 2013 at 2:55 am

      OK Tiffani,

      Deep breath, deep breath. You were smart not to fall into the friends with benefits thing b/c that is not a real relationship. Keep in NC (when you aren’t doing your project) for now. I think that if you display the “you can’t have me persona” he will want you back really badly. The trick is to dangle yourself in front of him like a game of cat and mouse.

      I don’t think the jealousy thing is a bad idea at all. Do it tastefully though.

    2. Tiffani

      July 24, 2013 at 2:43 am

      So I went on my date and while I was out my ex texted me I didn’t reply…it’s sooooo hard not to reply i want to right now! but I figured I would wait 12 or so hours to do so right? It’s about the work project so I can’t ignore him. I want to let him now that i am not jumping at his texts.or have him think I was out possibly on a date….PS I hated being on that date this poor guy likes me and my heart is still with my ex. I was so blah… The jealousy thing.. I am trying …I am not posting anything about this guy but this guy is posting in my wall! Nothing bad a picture…but he did post something I didn’t want on my wall so I blocked it… He posted “so this is what is supposed to be like with my name” I blocked it because I didn’t want to overdo it and think I went right into a full relationship … Right? Was that right?

    3. admin

      July 24, 2013 at 4:32 am

      Congrats on going on your date. Even though you did not enjoy it now you can kind of say “ok, I made it through!”

      Seems like you were doing everything right. Of course, you do want your ex to get a little jealous so make sure you leave a few breadcrumbs for him to follow.

  6. SD

    July 20, 2013 at 11:49 am

    Thank you so much for making this website! It’s been so helpful and has made me so much calmer and happier about what I’m going through right now.

    Would a good first text be happy birthday if their birthday comes up after 60 days of the NC rule?

    Our breakup wasn’t bad, he explained to me in a really sweet way he was going through a difficult time and needed space, and thought it was best for us to go our separate ways. I was devastated, and I told him that I was sad about because I loved him, but told him I respected his feelings and thanked him for being so kind about the breakup.

    I noticed recently my website has been getting visitors from his town (according to google analytics,) which it hadn’t in a while since we broke up. So I decided after a long time of avoiding his website/fb/twitter I would check his website. I saw he put up a song he loved that had been our song, and the title of the song is my first name, so it has a lot of significance in our past relationship. He recently made posts about how he felt he’s made a huge mistake, which is interesting because when we were together he always talked about how he was always in the right, and never made bad choices. These are all things he’s saying and doing a little after thirty days into the NC rule, he also keeps making posts about getting his life together. I’m really hoping he wants to get back together, but I feel it’s best to hold out for a little longer until he contacts me. He didn’t leave me for another girl, and from what I can tell he’s still single.

    His birthday would be a little after 60 days, and I would just non-chalantly text him “Happy Birthday :)” is this okay? Do you feel it would be better if I went with the options you have in your post?

    1. admin

      July 21, 2013 at 10:19 pm

      Actually, I would say it would be ok to contact him (after no contact) a little sooner. Is there any reason why you want to use the extended 60 day no contact period vs. the 30 days?

  7. Heartbroken

    July 20, 2013 at 5:14 am

    Hi Chris,

    I am following all your steps but wanted to ask your opinion as a guy.

    My husband left after seven days of marriage. I admit, I let myself go. He has told me twice that it is definitely over but we could stay friends so I went into NC, telling him that we are not meant to contact each other for 60 days.

    This is day 10 of NC but I was wondering is it really that easy for a guy to just walk away after seven years of marriage?

    1. admin

      July 21, 2013 at 10:12 pm


      Sorry for the late response.

      At first when I read your comment it said “seven days of marriage” I was like that (*&^(*(*. Hahaha but I figured you meant seven years.

      I think that the biggest problem in cases like this is when you are with someone and faithful for so long things can get a bit dull, its just human nature. However, I don’t think it is easy to leave someone you have spent that much time with. That is just me though.

  8. Cata

    July 19, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Hello Chris,
    I would just like to thank you, your site has been monumental in getting me through my breakup with my ex-boyfriend. Anytime I need reassurance and confidence as to why I am following the NC rule and that there is hope in reconnecting with my ex your site has done wonders. Thank you so much!

    My story is one that still evokes a lot of emotion. I was with my ex for three and a half years. Our relationship was perfect, especially the first 2.5 years. To the point where our families would celebrate holidays together and spend weekends at his cottage. We were extremely close and we loved each other unconditionally. He was my best friend. Since November 2012 we had been having problems, his partying was annoying me he is 27 I am 23 and it seemed like over night I grew up and he didn’t. Much of what he did, his mannerisms and attitude what I found to be sexy and loved about him began to bother me. The biggest issue was his drinking and partying and the fact he began to neglect his health.. We had multiple talks about it and his reasoning was always Ill change when we live together..
    We went on a trip to Dominican in February 2013 (we always had a couples trip every year) and lets just say it was the beginning of the end for us. It was a disastrous vacation and By Easter 2013 we were on the verge of breaking up. Without thinking I left town and hopped don a flight to Vancouver without telling him or my family, I just needed to get away. Since March I had began to talk with my high school ex boyfriend, and what began as innocent within a month wasn’t as he expressed he still loved me etc and that is who I went to visit in Vancouver.

    I come back and my ex boyfriend as well as both of our families are extremely upset but Dan loved me so much he was willing look past it.. We took a break but would still talk every day etc..By May we started going on dates and spending time together again and it was going well but one drunken night he took my phone and read messages I had with my ex from high school that were not good. My high school ex was professing his love talking about how he wanted to come visit me in Toronto and thing of that nature and I was reciprocating the messages..not to the extent of saying I loved him but I wasn’t pushing him away either.

    After our mid-may explosive fight where my ex said he never wanted to see me again and that it was over forever I was inconsolable and a wreck. I realized that what I had done was terrible, I messaged my ex apologizing and doing everything I could to get him back (the wrong way) but my ex said he was still angry, humiliated and “sure as hell does not trust me” and to not speak to him again.

    I gave him space (but still texted him once a week) and fast forward to mid-July we last talked 10 days ago and the conversation was positive. He said he would like to see me again and we reminisced a little about past times. However he made it clear that he is still hurt, embarrassed (my ex is an extremely proud person)and does not trust me. I’ve talked with his friends and they say he is really enjoying the single life and is happy.

    Today is the 10th day in NC and I hope it works.. Based on our story (and sorry for writing a novel) do you actually think it is credible that we will get back together? A lot of the doubts I have is that he loves being single and “not having to answer to anyone” (the last few months of our relationship I can admit I was very naggy and just not my usual care-free self)I am also scared that I wont be able to show him that I am trustworthy again..(I broke that trust in a major way.) I have used the NC to better myself and have done a lot of self-reflection and I know the changes I have to make but I am worried its too late 🙁 I am just honestly scared I will loose the love of my life..

    Thank you for listening and would greatly appreciate your unbiased advice 🙂

    1. admin

      July 19, 2013 at 10:36 pm


      So, that is a sad story. It sounds like you guys had a perfect relationship until he started screwing it up with his partying ways which eventually led you to your old ex high school boyfriend.

      What else are you doing during No Contact?

      I think it is a real possibility that he enjoys the single life. However, I would compare it to a drug. Eventually he will come down off the high and be looking around for a girlfriend. You have an advantage because it seems to me he really has a lot of feelings for you.

  9. EL

    July 17, 2013 at 6:17 am

    Hi there,

    Thank you for setting up this website. It’s useful!

    We broke up last month, reason is he don’t love me anymore, and he had a lot of dissatisfaction towards me which eventually lead him to decrease his feelings towards me. We had stopped contacting each other since 2 weeks ago. But I still miss him and care for him.

    We are supposed to watch a concert this weekend. The ticket is with me. What should I do?


    1. admin

      July 17, 2013 at 7:00 am

      I’ll take your convert ticket!

      No I am just kidding. Umm… that’s tricky.

      I say see about the concert first and then come back and ask my advice.

  10. Bri

    July 16, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    So me and my exboyfriend broke up and didnt talk for two days after we broke up but on the third day he texted me asking how i’m doing etc. do i text him first this time or wiat for him to text me next time..

    1. admin

      July 17, 2013 at 6:47 am

      Well, ideally you wait 30 days before texting him…

  11. Darcy

    July 14, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Hey Chris, love your site it’s so useful and so helpful.

    I broke up with my ex a little over a month ago. I was doing NC with no issues when about a week before my NC was up, I got a call from my ex’s ex-wife. She called me asking for my ex and I knew it was her. I just said that she had the wrong the number and hung up. About a half hour after it happened, I texted my ex this: “Amy (his ex-wife) just called me. WTF?” He immediately texted me back: “Who is this? And why would Amy call you?” I’m not sure why he would respond that way as we were in a long distance relationship so he knows my number as the area code is different. He texted me again a few minutes later saying: “Sorry I lost my phone. What did Amy say and who is this?” Now, I am almost positive that he knew it was me and that he knows my number. But I was so hurt that he would respond that way that I just never answered his text. That was almost two weeks ago and I haven’t heard anything else from him since.

    My question is, what do you think this means? I feel like he was just playing a game with me since I haven’t called/texted him in almost a month, and his ego is a little hurt that I haven’t been chasing after him. I plan on continuing NC for another 30 days because I just don’t want to initiate contact after that last episode. Any thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?

    Thanks again for all the work you do, it is very much appreciated.

    1. admin

      July 15, 2013 at 11:11 pm

      Hi Darcy,

      Thanks for your kind words about my site.

      So, you think he was playing a game huh. I think that the best way to approach things is to not contact him again till your NC is up. Right now, just focus on getting through that.

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