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2,733 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

  1. Avatar

    Jennifer

    August 19, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    My ex and I broke up in January but we kept hanging out until May and then recently he came over to get some things and the feelings were overwhelming for both of us. He told me that no one compared to me and that he still loves me but I recently found out that he is hanging out with this girl. He told me if he wasn’t talking to her he would’ve jumped back into the relationship with me. And he is just very confused on what he wants. I told him that for this to work it would have to be a commitment to me and me only. He told me that part if him wants it to work out and part of him is unsure about us and I think it’s because of this girl. I don’t know what to do in this case. Where do I go fron here? Thank you

    1. Avatar

      Jennifer

      August 25, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      You’re right I’m going to try. What do I tell him next time he tries to call me? I don’t want to just ignore him out of no where.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 26, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      tell him the current situation is not workable for you.. and then start the count of no contact after that.

    3. Avatar

      Jennifer

      August 23, 2017 at 7:59 am

      That wasn’t my plan but I guess thats what I have left. Is that the only thing I can do?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2017 at 10:07 pm

      It’s the better choice to do, rather than chasing nor staying friends right after the break up.

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 22, 2017 at 6:42 pm

      are you going to do the no contact rule?

  2. Avatar

    EBR Team Member: Amor

    August 13, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    what do you mean that it’s hard in snapchat? Is it because of the app or because you don’t have topics? If you want, rest from initiating for a week.

  3. Avatar

    celin

    August 8, 2017 at 3:38 am

    i successfully completed my no contact rule.after that i sent my first text.he was so excited to respond and he was responding like crazy.i tried to end up the conversation many times bt he was keeping on texting.atlast i managed to say goodnight by saying i was sleepy.as chris told i decided to put a gap for 3 days after first text.bt the very next day of first text itself he texted me asking something.should i reply or do i have to wait for the completion of third day?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 9, 2017 at 3:07 pm

      HI Celin,

      what was the question? Is it important? if not, wait after 3 days.

  4. Avatar

    Maria

    August 7, 2017 at 4:29 am

    Hi, my boyfriend and I were technically on a break when I started no contact. It was not a long distance relationship, but I am currently home from university, and I will not be back until early September.
    His last text to me (before NC) was him apologising for being cold towards me and that we’ll remain friends at the least at the end of our break, and even made a joke about how I’ll have to cook for him in return once I return to uni. I only responded telling him “it’s ok”.

    That happened on Wednesday night and I haven’t spoken to him since then. On Sunday (yesterday), he contacted me telling me he’s made his decision that we aren’t getting back together because he’s happier on his own, and even said that we can’t be friends anymore.

    Do you think the no contact rule will work here? I have not responded to his breakup message.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 9, 2017 at 2:37 pm

      It’s not a guarantee that it will work on any situation. It just helps increase your chances

  5. Avatar

    Cecilia

    July 19, 2017 at 6:10 am

    Hello,
    I broke up with my boyfriend around 1 month ago. We have been in a long distance as we come from different countries, and he’s currently on working holiday. We’ve been together for almost 9 months, including 4 months together in both Taiwan and New Zealand. We are both around 25. He said he doesn’t know what he wants, we’re in a long distance relationship, and even if he comes to Taiwan again, he will keep traveling, he will meet new people, thus he decided to break up with me as he felt he’s not ready for a long-term relationship, even if he cried and it was a hard decision for him as well. He said we could still be good friends even if at that time I didn’t think so.
    I did the no contact for around half a month after we broke up, I tried to focus on myself and improve myself during the period. After that, I started to contact him. He calls me and texts me when he has free time, and he admitted that he still loves me as he thinks I love him. He doesn’t want me to see other guys as he gets jealous. However, when I asked if he regrets making the decision to break up with me, he said he doesn’t. He said even if we’re back together again, the problem is still there…that we’re still in a long distance relationship, but he said he would like to see me again aside from all the future stuff he’s worried about. Is that just an excuse? I thought I’m able to re-attract him again, but I’m not sure if it’s possible to be together again before we meet each other again. Or is it even possible by using the method you provide? Please help…I really appreciate it. Thank you.

    Cecilia

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:44 pm

  6. Avatar

    Welllington

    July 11, 2017 at 7:27 am

    Hi

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 12:14 pm

      Hello Wellington!

  7. Avatar

    Nylla

    June 29, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    Hey amor,

    Ok my ex and i still live together he says its him(he gets depressed and thinks no one loves him). We were together 6 months. I felt like i can be myself around him and he said the same. We still both love each other but id love to start over with him but im not sure how to because we live together. We also work together and our boss knows whats going on(he said that wasnt a stress on us). Some things have gotten easier. He is also my best friend but doesn’t like to answer questions about is at all. He is very back and fourth! What should i do? I am at a loss

  8. Avatar

    Ann

    June 29, 2017 at 7:23 am

    In a LDR we just broke up a few weeks ago and had the break up talk in person when he was back in town for work for a few days. It wasn’t angry he just decided LDR is not realistic. I texted him the day after he left saying I he got home safe & thanks for the talk and he replied telling me not to contact him for a while unless I have more questions about why he ended things & followed up with “it’s over ok?” Just wondering if no contact will be as effective since he basically already asked for NC “for a while” unless I’m really struggling. I didn’t respond and am now in NC. How long would you recommend NC in this case?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2017 at 1:37 pm

      Yeah coz he doesn’t know you’re going to not contact him

  9. Avatar

    Shannon

    June 28, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    Hello, I am in the texting phase of the exboyfriend recovery pro. I am on day 4, when I text him he will respond but with short responses. What does this mean? Do I need to do the NC again?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 28, 2017 at 5:53 pm

      Restart nc and do at least 30 days…

  10. Avatar

    Anne

    June 13, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    Hi
    I had a pretty bad break up. After a long fight I asked my boyfriend to block me and and not recieve my calls, he did that immediately. After almost 10 days I realised that I love him and want him in my life. He is a egoistic person and doesn’t text or call first, but after almost 45 days he unblocked me on WhatsApp and keeps changing his do(which for him is unusual). I’m tempted to text him, but I’m not sure if I should.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 14, 2017 at 4:11 pm

      why not? have you improved yourself?

  11. Avatar

    Alexis

    June 12, 2017 at 8:13 am

    Hi. So I did the no contact and after 30 days sent him a message saying “omg. You won’t believe what just happened to me” he replied with “what?” And then “are you okay?” Following “??” And then “??hello?” Within 20 minutes of me sending. He also called twice and I didn’t pick up. He loves cars and I couldn’t drive. So I told him I was taking driving lessons and that the wind was so strong I had to really take control over the car, which was true that day lol. He was really happy to speak to me and asked how it was going and how I’m doing and said I seem lighter and different. And that’s he’s happy I’m growing. Then he asked me how come I texted him lol. I said “I thought I’d do it, but have a nice evening and stay cool” not making him think that we gonna taleave some more. He said okay cool you too. I sent 7 messages. Which I know was wrong. But then waited 3 days to text again. He loves smoking weed and weed in general and me too. So I’ve been growing this tree and I decided to take a picture of it and sent to him with a little writing with it. That was yesterday and he still hasn’t replied. What should I do now?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 14, 2017 at 10:24 am

      hi alexis,

      Has he replied now?

  12. Avatar

    Patricia

    June 2, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    Hello! On another article on the thought process the guy goes through in NC, I commented that he can’t possibly be thinking of me, because you don’t think of things you throw away. My opinion changed: Thursday night, day 20 of NC he wrote me “Hey” I saw it in my notifications and decided not to write back, because the no contact rule is 30 days and I was also extremely scared. I thought for example that maybe he just wanted his books back (I still haven’t given them back), but then I thought, if that was the case, he would have written that already to avoid conversation. I talked to my mum and she said I should write back, because she believed, if I didn’t write back he would never try to contact me again. The next day I still hadn’t written back yet and I waited until after a three hour exam. I then talked to a mutual friend of mine and my ex and she said I should write him to see what he wants and she also said, I should write as if I were pissed off with him (I obviously didn’t, I have bad experiences of doing such with former crushes) and I wrote back “Hey”. He asked how I was and I asked him bla bla bla and he wasn’t feeling well. He vented his frustration about his problems with his parents (he has a very bad father-son relationship with his dad) and then he thanked me for trying to cheer me up (I actually only said my opinion) and I asked him how I should answer that. Of course he didn’t know, but after some time he apologised for “bothering me with his problems” and I made the mistake saying, he can talk to me if he has a problem. In that same message he also said that he had been thinking about me a lot recently and he needed someone to talk to. I was proven wrong about the not thinking about trash you threw away thing. I guess I’m not trash?? Jokes aside, should I do the no contact rule from the start again? Have I ruined my chances of getting him back, because it’s only been 3 weeks? Please tell me, this is urgent… thanks

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 3, 2017 at 3:39 pm

      I think you should just slowly start building rapport now..

  13. Avatar

    Grace

    April 22, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    Hi, we were dating for 6 weeks, lots of txting a few really amazing dates, massive mutual attraction, I was falling hard, and then I was becoming stressed over some things in my personal life, which he didn’t know about. In the last 2 weeks he wasn’t txting as frequently, which because i was stressed about other things I questioned him why, he kept telling me everything was fine and to relax. I continued to over text and then he stopped responding altogether… I txted 2 days ago and told him that I’m going through some things and that I’ll try txting him back in a few weeks and said that I hope he responds.. and now I’m so upset all I want to do is call him.. what should I do???

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      You basically told him the no contact rule which makes it less effective for you.. You need to make it seem you’re moving on through your posts

  14. Avatar

    Drew

    April 15, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Does this strategy work with short term relationships? I met this guy online, we dated for about 2 months, he told me repeatedly how I “checked all his boxes”, how much he liked me, how pretty and amazing and funny I was…we were intimate. And then out of nowhere his level of attention changed, he became disillusioned with the distance between us (we live an hour apart) and the lack of time we had to spend together. He started saying things like “I don’t deserve you”, “I can’t give you what you deserve”, which I’ve always known to be code for “I’m just not that into you anymore”. He tried to end it nicely, I kept holding on for about a day, and then probably thinking he had no other choice – he picked an issue with something I said and basically cut off all contact with me. Made it clear there was no more to discuss. It’s been 3 days and he’s already back on the dating site where we met. I am devastated. I really liked this guy…but apparently he’s already moving on looking for someone new and I’m still here bawling my eyes out. Does any of this work if the guy doesn’t have feelings for you anymore?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 16, 2017 at 2:20 pm

      it’s not a guarantee..it just helps increase your chances

  15. Avatar

    Annie

    April 6, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    Hi Amor,

    So I just finished my NC period. I reached out to him in my first text with a short story related to a memory from one of our first dates. He replied saying that it was a good day with a smiley face. I replied with a joke and then he replied with another joke to which I didnt answer in order to end the conversation after 2 texts. The next day I followed the guidelines and did not text him. The day after that I started another conversation with an item I found at the store that he might like. He replied in a flirty manner using many smiley faces. I then ended the conversation again by not replying (after 2 texts). The next day I replied to his message from the day before and sent a picture of a mirror that I bought (my reflection was visible and I was wearing a nice dress but I did not say anything about the dress in the text). He replied jokingly again and mentioned that the dress was nice and that I have some clothes at his families place. I said thanks and mentioned I was wearing the dress as I had an interview to become a teacher (something I had always mentioned was a goal during our relationship) and that I would pick up the clothes. He then said the outfit was a great choice for the interview and to just let him know when I´m available. As it was day 4 I tried to reply with a 3rd text saying that I was really excited to teach my first class and id let him know. However, I did not get a reply to the 3rd message.

    Is it a bad sign that he is acting really nice (in just a friendly manner) and wants me to pick up my items? Also what should I do now that he didnt reply? Should I wait for him to text first next time or should I try initiating a convo again tomorrow?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 9, 2017 at 3:03 pm

      mirror his replies and then rest from initiating..check the links below too.
      The Four Best Ways To Respond To Your Exes Text Messages

      How Do I Break Down My Ex Boyfriend’s Emotional Wall?

  16. Avatar

    Alicia

    April 5, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    Need help please!! My ex and I have been dating for almost 3 months but it got very serious and things moved quite fast. We met online and it’s been long distance. He is currently living in Europe for his basketball season which is ending soon and I live in Vancouver, BC. We flew down to see each other over a month ago in his hometown of Toronto. We spent a weekend together and it was so great. I even met his family. Our relationship has been so great and we told me he has told me many times that he never felt this way before and has never had someone understand him so well because he has had major issues with his mom growing up and I can relate in so many ways and he once told me that means more to him than anything. We are even exactly the same mixed race which is a rare mix and we always thought that was so cool. He has shared things to me he hasn’t with others. We have even hinted marriage to each other. He has always said he has never met someone so similiar, and it’s true. We’re like the same person. This relationship was so special. We were in love. He is a major relationship guy. He is moving back to his hometown this month and I was originally moving there at the same time for my job. So we had so many plans for when we’ll be together. This past weekend I went to another city with a girlfriend of mine and posted a snapchat that ended everything. I did not cheat but it made it seem like I did. He called me as soon as he saw it and was yelling and was so extremely upset with me. He told me it was over. He blocked me everywhere on social media instantly. He then unblocked me on whatsapp a few hours later and the next day he told me to call him. I couldn’t really talk because I was at work so I did not get to say everything I wanted to. He told me I disrespected him and said he can never trust me again and there is no chance of us getting back together. He was really angry and I know he is reacting right now. This was 2 days ago. I am completely heartbroken. I am still blocked on facebook, instagram, and snapchat but I am no longer blocked on Whatsapp which has always been our main point of communication. I feel like that’s a good sign because he hasn’t cut off ALL communication so maybe there is a chance in the future. I wished him a Happy Birthday yesterday but he did not respond. I know he is so hurt and angry right now so maybe he is just acting on his emotions and needs time. Should I try the No Contact rule? I want to send him one more message just to say everything I wanted to and let everything off my chest and just tell him I truly love him. I will also say this is the last I’m contacting you but just wanted to say a few things before I move on. It will be a positive text. Just so he knows. I just want him back 🙁 What should I do?
    Thank you!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2017 at 2:50 pm

  17. Avatar

    Ana Ana

    March 31, 2017 at 10:51 am

    Guys! this is a Huge thank you
    The Theory is genious. Thoug i applied it to the guy i really liked, but in the process of NO contact, met two other nice guys and my Date rate has increased so much! i went like for 6 dates and one guy really got into my heart. BUT i still contacted my Ex after no contact 20 days and been following this strategy of drafting nice texts with No text days, It works so well! Been receiving mostly positive responses and ina very excited tone.
    THANKS CHRIS, Now question is?? do i want him back?? i feel so good and free and it was long distance so we anyway had very few dates///// /….

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 31, 2017 at 10:08 pm

      Thanks Ana! I’ll forward this to Chris!

  18. Avatar

    Frederique

    March 30, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    Hey,
    I need some help…

    After two years of living together me and my bf decided to have a break. I had some mental problems Which made me depressed and he was working on his projects every minute of the day. I wanted to spend time because I needed emotional support but his projects “were bigger then us”. Promising me I’m the love of his life and I needed to be happy for a while without him. “Taking a step back so we can move forward again”

    We didn’t make rules or set a time period. He needed his attention for work and I moved back in with my parents to get my life together in January. We still met up sometimes to do something fun or romantic untill the end of February. At some point I started to have some doubts about some girls working on his projects. He said it was nothing and just my negativity playing tricks on me. A couple of days later I received some screenshots of a friend he was begging to have a one night stand with. I was broken. When I texted him he was distant and blaming it on being busy with his projects. After two weeks I waited at our house and confronted him about the screenshots. His facebook page was open on his computer and I saw conversations with dozend of girls, any girls, just copy/paste sweet messages to get their attention. He said he liked the fake attention and didn’t care about them, just wanted to use them and that was his reason why he acted that way to them instead of me. Still claimen I needed to take my time to heal and telling me how busy he was, how much pressure was on him etc. Etc.
    After the convo I applied “no contact”

    A week after he had sex with one of those girls. Now he has one girl who reguarly visits, works with and has sex with. She is the complete opposite of me in looks and personality. He keeps this a secret from me and I heard it from his roommate who is a close friend of mine. I don’t know if he really likes her or if she is a rebound. He doesn’t know I know this because I do no contact.

    Now almost 4 weeks later he lost his job, can’t take proper care of himself and hasnt contacted me. He did upload a cover of the song “neck deep – december” Which is a breakup song on his facebook. In the mean time I got a new job, go out with friends, get therapy, applied to go back to school and do all the things I promised him to become the person again he fell in love with.

    Even Though there is no one that knows him as well as I do, it feels like I don’t know him at all. Being with these girls is super out of character for him but at the same time he is terrible at being alone. He is stabborn and narcissistic and I was always the one keeping things toget her between him and everyone around him, keeping his life stable in his own chaos.

    I just can’t figure out if im doing something wrong, he just doesn’t like me anymore or is even more confused and lost then I am. Please give me some inside of my situation. I’m already watching your YouTube video’s which help me to keep up the no contact. But because of my metal state and trauma’s of abuse and the fear of being abandond I don’t know what is real or overanalyzing. If he care or just is an asshole. If I should go back to him (eventho I really want to) or if he has moved on and I am waisting my time.

    Thank you so much

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 30, 2017 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Frederique,

      It sounds like a toxic relationship to me. You’re depressed, he’s narcissitic. If he’s really narcissistic, then it’s not out of character for him to be doing all of that. And if youre5 depressed, being with that kind of person is not healthy. You should move on from him..

  19. Avatar

    Jane

    March 29, 2017 at 12:40 am

    Hi Amor,

    I’m just wondering what to say if he asks me where I went for the month of no contact? Should I tell him I needed space or just say i got really busy?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 29, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      tell him you were busy..

  20. Avatar

    Ann

    March 26, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Hello there. I’ve read the book twice and now i was reading the articles on this site.
    I did the nc rule more then one month, just because I wasn’t ready after only 30 days so i went on 50 days, after that i had send him a text messege, he responded an hour after says that he was very happy to hear from me, telling me about himself and what he’s been up to , asking me the same and at the end of his text telling me that he is still ok with the decision he took that he doesn’t want us back together.
    What are my chances in this situation..?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 1:46 pm

      Hi Ann,

      why did he say that? did you ask?

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