By Chris Seiter

Updated on May 4th, 2021

Today we are going to be encountering your worst fear.

Having your ex move on to someone else in front of your eyes.

Specifically we are going to be taking a look at the signs that you can keep an eye out for if this fate has transpired.

Now, if you don’t know how I roll then you are in for a treat. Any time I write an article like this I like to go above and beyond by providing unique studies and experiences to back up my theories.

In this case, I am going to draw from personal experience to explain some of these signs to you.

Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado I present the five signs that your ex is dating someone else.

5 Signs That Your Ex Is Probably Dating Someone Else

Before I start listing the signs I do want to point out that I am not going to limit these signs to your ex having to be in an actual relationship with someone new.

I think if they have a crush on someone else these signs can be present as well.

And it’s kind of the same heartbreaking outcome that you don’t want to occur to you.

As I stated above, there are five big signs that you need to pay attention to.

  1. Their Social Media Behavior Changes
  2. You Hear About It From Mutual Friends
  3. They Don’t Respond To Your Attempts Of Communication
  4. The Pendulum Swing Occurs More Frequently
  5. They Tell You Specifically They Can’t Talk To You Anymore

Let’s peel back the layers and explain what to expect with these five signs.

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Sign #1: Your Exes Social Media Behavior Changes

I’ve been off the market for a long time now.

Coming up on four years now.

Wow, time flies!

Anyways, one of the most drastic changes I noticed that occurred when I got into a relationship with my wife was how differently I treated social media.

I was very conscious of the fact that even the most seemingly insignificant thing like commenting on someones photo on Facebook can be taken out of context and create problems for you,

We live in the age of social media whether you like it or not where our every action is scrutinized.

Your ex isn’t blind to that fact.

Generally what I tell my clients to keep an eye out for are anything that interrupts the pattern on your exes social media profile.

For example, let’s pretend that after your breakup with your ex they still kept in touch with you by liking, commenting or even personal messaging you on Facebook.

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One day that behavior completely changes.

The likes stop.

The comments are the next to go.

And you don’t even get a response when you reach out to your ex in personal messages.

What is going on?

It could be that they are literally gearing up for attracting someone else and they don’t want to have any baggage following them around.

Sign #2: You Hear About It From Mutual Friends

Are you familiar with the concept of an asterisk in baseball?

Baseball is very protective of its records.

Specifically the home run record.

In fact, if you look online you can find multiple cases where home run records were branded with an asterisk essentially saying that this player cheated and took steroids to achieve this record.

I’d like to place an asterisk on this sign because you always need to be careful of what you hear from mutual friends.

Have you ever played a game of telephone?

The game is really easy.

You basically get a bunch of people to stand in a line and then on one end of the line you share a message and you have the message passed down the line to see if it’s the same as when it was initially given,

In almost all the cases I’ve ever played I found that the message was completely different by the time that it went down the entire line.

The game is meant to highlight how people process information differently.

And how those subtle changes in the processing can completely change fact into fiction.

This is kind of how I view listening to other people about exes.

In most cases mutual friends will be on your side but how they process your ex “dating” might be completely made up.

Maybe they just saw your ex with a friend and assumed they were dating.

Always take what your mutual friends say with a grain of salt.

I’m not saying they will lie. I’m just saying that it’s important for you not to overreact.

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Sign #3: Your Ex Doesn’t Respond To Any Of Your Attempts To Communicate

Personal story time!

When I started my college experience I falsely believed that dating wasn’t a numbers game.

It totally is. 

That sounds completely unromantic but I’ve found it to be true.

What I’d end up doing was zone in on one specific girl I’d have a crush on and put everything I’d have into getting her to date me.

Sometimes I’d get the date and sometimes I wouldn’t.

But inevitably I’d always find something wrong with the person or they’d find something wrong with me.

The problem was that I’d average maybe 1 girl I’d find worthy a year and the end result was that I’d be alone.

If my math was right I was single for five years before I met my wife.

What changed?

Well, around year four I started to look at dating as a numbers game.

In other words, the more girls I met the more chances I’d have to run them through my own internal processes to see if they were worthy.

I believe that when I met my soon to be wife I was talking to three other girls.

Talking to my wife was revolutionary. I hadn’t felt that way about anyone before.

In fact, she had such a strong pull on me that I decided to refine my efforts and only focus on her.

In other words, I stopped talking to every other potential prospect.

I’d do this one of two ways,

  1. By either ignoring them
  2. Or by blocking them

The blocking case was special and I’ll tell you about that story in a moment.

Ignoring the others was really interesting because you’d get all kinds of texts asking you where you went and whats happening.

I’d just ghost them because if I felt strongly about my wife to the point I didn’t want to talk to anyone else then I knew I’d never develop feelings for them.

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What’s the point of being friends with someone when you weren’t looking for a friend in the first place?

Sign #4: The Pendulum Swings More Frequently

Most people aren’t like me.

Most are ok with remaining friends with their past lovers.

I think it’s just asking for trouble.

I’ll never forget the day my best friend admitted to me that he slept with a girl who was currently dating someone.

I didn’t criticize or scold him for being bad.

If anything, that’s on the girl for cheating on her boyfriend.

No, I was actually fascinated by what he told me next.

Man, we were at this gathering together and her boyfriend was there. It was so strange. All I could think about was the fact that I fu$ked this girl and her boyfriend was right there.

He told me that he noticed something interesting.

The girl was super short with her boyfriend.

Like she would swing from one end of the spectrum of emotions to the other.

One minute she would be scolding him in front of everyone and the other she would be making out with him in the corner.

She was doing this for my friends benefit of course.

Here’s the thing though, I’ve seen this pendulum swing of behavior a lot.

It’s something worth keeping an eye on if you are worried your ex has moved on to someone else.

Sign #5: Your Ex Tells You They Can’t Talk To You Anymore

Remember I told you in an example above that there was one person I flat out blocked when I first met my wife.

Here’s how that went down.

Initially I just ignored all three of the girls I was talking to.

I figured they’d get the hint but this one just wouldn’t quit bothering me.

Eventually I got annoyed enough that she wasn’t getting the hint so I flat out told her.

As you can imagine this didn’t go over very well as she berated me for being a “poor friend” and that just because I was “talking to someone” didn’t mean I couldn’t still talk to her.

But to me the risk wasn’t worth what little reward there would be.

Think of all the things that could go wrong if my wife, who had no clue what I was like yet would think if she thought I was talking to all kinds of girls at the same time as her.

It would look really bad.

I pride myself on being extremely loyal.

I’m a one woman kind of man.

I was then and I am now.

You may not agree with how I handled the situation but I am kind of proud of it because it goes to show that I knew even probably before my wife knew that I was going to fall in love.

In the end I blocked the loose cannon and moved on with my life.

I tell you this story not to dishearten you but to give you insight into the mind of someone when there is technically “someone else.”

These are the types of behaviors you can expect to receive from your ex if there is someone they are interested in.

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5 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is Dating Someone Else”

  1. Andrea

    June 12, 2019 at 6:42 am

    Hi Natasha, it’s vwry hard to move in but you have to . As bad as the pain is you will move on trust me you will look back and say he wasn’t worth crying over trust me when I tell you if a man can treat you that cold he isn’t worth your tears but your hurting now so none of this matter right now. You have to find something about yourself that you love and focus on that love and give it out plentiful , to your child to your friends family but mostly give that love to yourself try not to think about him every time he crosses your mind think of something that is real like you your future your child something you want to do in this life . The pain will pass and you will much stronger and wiser. I hope for a speedy bounce back for you it will pass!

  2. CH

    November 14, 2018 at 5:40 pm

    Hi Natasha,

    Came across this post- just want to tell you I know how it is to be alone in a foreign country, and I know how difficult it is having to be relied on when you yourself is collapsing. But your child needs you. Doesn’t matter what the guy said or did, you have to survive first. I know it is hard but you have to pick up the pieces. Allow yourself a moment of grief, then look forward and keep on going. Good luck!

  3. Natasha

    November 10, 2018 at 8:57 am

    Hi chris.

    Is there still a chance to win him back or does this seem like we are over?

  4. Natasha

    November 9, 2018 at 6:14 am

    Hi chris

    My ex has admitted that he has someone. I tried the nc rule twice. The first time he did contact me 1 week and a half and the second time i managed 2 weeks. He has no social media accounts. Whatsapp is the only form of contact. Even tho we had not contact he constantly looked at my whatsapp status. We have a 5 month old baby and we are in different countries. I have been needing documents from him for our baby which is why i broke the nc rule but he was quite cold and it just pushed me to me losing self control. He has kept repeating that he has moved on and i must do the same. We were engaged we both wanted this baby
    My “family” did interfere and they are partly the reason we are in different countries. After all was said he blocked me and the next day he has unblocked me. I dont know how to read him. I am complety alone with our baby i have no support or friends. I am stuck where i am because of visa issues. I am completely devestated that all the promises he made and how much he said he loved me that he would move on so easily. What advice could you give. I honestly feel that my situation is completely hopeless. He says he loves this baby and wants to be part of her life but we cant be together. How can he be so utterly shut down and have no consideration for the simple fact he made me believe he would always be there for me no matter what and not even think about the fact i am with our baby 24/7 with alot people making my life more difficult.

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 10, 2018 at 2:13 am

      Hi Natasha!

      I am very sorry for your troubles. Surround yourself if possible with family and friends that can be your support system.