So your ex boyfriend dumped you to be with another girl….
I have one word for you.
OUCH.
I am pretty sure you feel betrayed… angry… upset… and driven by revenge but more on that in a second. For now I just want to inform you that you came to the right place. Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery I specialize in helping women succeed in getting their boyfriends back in all kinds of crazy situations.
Hell, just the other day I received an email from a woman who had found herself in one of the worst situations I had ever seen (and I have been doing this for quite some time.)
Apparently she had cheated on her Fiancé and when he found out he obviously broke up with her.
Wait, is it Fiancé or Fiancée?
I always thought Fiancée had a nice ring to it so lets stick with that.
Anyways, I digress….
After cheating she ended up finding my site (Ex Boyfriend Recovery) and after implementing a few of my strategies she got her ex Fiancée to propose to her again…
Talk about spoiled…
She cheats on him and gets TWO PROPOSALS!
Of course, I guess you could say that I was her “secret weapon” for getting that second proposal!
But enough about how awesome I am 😉 .
Let me get to the point.
Why did I tell you that story about the woman who cheated on her Fiancée?
Do you care to take a guess?
…..
Yes YOU reading on the phone/computer!
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizNo?
Sigh…. Ok, I will tell you but I am disappointed that you couldn’t even take a simple guess.
I told you that story to prove to you that I know what I am talking about. In other words, I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME!
But I also wanted to show you how someone who is in an extreme situation (like the one you are in) can succeed even when the odds heavily favor failure.
In other words, if a woman who cheated on her ex boyfriend can get him back and make him propose to her then you can definitely get your ex boyfriend back if he dumped you to be with another girl.
Now, rather than bore you to death with setup lets just jump right to it.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz
What Do You Hope To Accomplish?
Lets take a minute to step back and look at the situation you are in.
You and your ex boyfriend were once in a relationship… a happy one,
And then along comes this “other girl” who catches his attention while he was dating you,
All of a sudden his interest in you starts to waver and he becomes fascinated with this new girl. His fascination grows so much, in fact, that he breaks up with you to be with her,
This is your situation in a nutshell right?
Well, I have a question for you.
What do you hope to accomplish?
If you had some sort of superpower where all you had to do was think a thought and then magically that thought materializes and becomes real what would happen in the future?
Would you just like to move on and get rid of this pain you are feeling?
Would you like to get revenge on your ex boyfriend for betraying you?
Would you like to get him back?
Be as specific as possible for me because too often women come to this website and really have no idea what they want to accomplish.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizOnce you have your goal in your mind write it down somewhere.
I suppose it makes sense if I join in on the fun too, huh?
Ok, below I have posted a screenshot of what I hope to accomplish with this page,
My handwriting is pretty kiddish so don’t go judging me :p .
Anyways, I want to make this page the best in the world when it comes to helping women in your exact situation.
Now, I do feel obligated to mention that this page will have a primary focus.
What do I mean by that?
Well, above I mentioned three things that you could potentially be hoping to accomplish.
- Getting rid of the pain you are feeling by moving on
- Getting revenge on your ex boyfriend
- Getting your ex boyfriend back
What I mean when I say that this page will have a primary focus is the fact that it’s going to focus more on option three (which I have highlighted in bold.)
Why not options one or two?
Well, I have already wrote a huge page on getting over an ex boyfriend here so I feel that I have already covered that.
As for the revenge…
This isn’t Kill Bill.
Where I am just going to send you on your merry way to get revenge. I don’t subscribe to that type of thinking. I am of the mind that if you want to get revenge on someone you should do it by living well.
Frank Sinatra said it best,
The Best Revenge In Life Is Massive Success
Anyways, this entire article is going to be meant to be used as a resource that you can constantly refer to, to help get your ex boyfriend back if he dumped you for another girl.
Speaking of him dumping you for another girl.
Why?
Why did he do that?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz
Why Your Ex Boyfriend Dumped You For Another Girl
I hate to paint myself in a corner by saying statements like this but what I am about to say is 100% the truth so listen up.
The reason your ex boyfriend dumped you in favor of another girl is because he found her more attractive than you…
You heard me.
Now, what do you think I mean by attractive?
Is it based purely on looks?
Nope… this is something much deeper.
But for me to properly explain this to you I have to teach you about something I like to call…..
THE ATTRACTION SCALE!
Dun Dun DUUUNNNN….
What Is The Attraction Scale And How Does It Apply?
I think this will work better with an example so lets pretend that you are dating my clone….
Lets call him “Bad Chris.”
Anyways, at the beginning of your relationship with “Bad Chris” everything appears to be going well and then all of a sudden another girl catches his eye.
(Lets pause here and take a look at the attraction scale)
Oh wait… I haven’t even told you what the attraction scale is yet have I?
Ok, brief definition below,
The Attraction Scale: The Attraction Scale rates every aspect of what a man finds attractive in a woman (looks, personality, quirks, etc) with a 1 – 10 grade. With 1 being the lowest attraction and 10 being the highest level of attraction. Every woman gets a rating on the attraction scale and that rating is never set in stone. For example, at the beginning of the relationship with your ex boyfriend you may have been graded as an eight but at the end of the relationship you may be a 3. The rating on the scale moves in accordance with his current level of attraction for you.
Anyways, going back to the example above with “Bad Chris.”
What happened when his eye was caught by another girl?
Well, in the moment where his eye was caught it means that his uninformed rating of the other girl on his own internal attraction scale dwarfed yours.
Hmm… I am a visual learner so I will make a fun little graphic depicting this,
So, to put things simply.
Your ex boyfriend most likely dumped you because he thinks he found something better than you out there.
Now, the question in your mind right now is probably,
“Ok, I get all of this but what can I do? Is there any hope at all?”
I just grinned because of course there is.
Why?
Because of the other concept of the attraction scale that I haven’t really gone into yet.
It’s important to remember that no attraction rating any woman gets from a man stays the same.
Why is this important to understand?
Well, right now you are looking at it from a losers perspective. You lost your man because your attraction rating got low enough to where he was going to look elsewhere for something better (which he found.) But what if she falls victim to the same trap you did?
What if her attraction level drops to the point where your did some time in the future?
And what if during the time that her attraction level drops yours rises?
Well, then you have a fighting chance to get him back.
And that’s essentially our whole strategy in a nutshell.
Sigh… Fine.
You are going to do subtle things to help the process of her attraction level dropping while at the same time improving yours.
Get it?
Good!
But first…
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz
For This To Work Patience Is Going To Be Required
This may not be what you want to hear but if you are looking for the fastest possible way to get your ex boyfriend back then you came to the right place.
I subscribe to the theory that if you put a relationship back together super fast without going through all the proper steps then it will inevitably fail again.
Why do you think there are so many on again/off again relationships?
So, while the method I propose here may seem very long it is put together with the idea of a long future with you and your ex boyfriend.
But I need one thing for you to make that happen.
Care to take a guess at what that one thing is?
Yup, you guessed it!
Patience.
If you are patient and trust in this process then amazing things can happen for you.
But if you aren’t…
Well, I am not going to say 100% you are going to fail but you 100% will be decreasing your overall chances of success.
Why did I put a whole section together on patience?
There are going to be moments if you try this strategy where you roll your eyes at how long this is taking or how you don’t think it’s going to work but you need to push through this. You need to take those thoughts and not succumb to them.
Think of it like this.
A lioness doesn’t stalk her prey by chasing it the moment she sees it. No, she waits… and waits… and waits… until finally she sees her opportunity. When the prey has wandered off from the herd when it’s vulnerable.
That’s when she strikes!
Don’t be an impatient lioness.
Do this correctly and be patient.
Wait until the moment is perfect and you will be rewarded… trust me!
The Yin/Yang Of Our Strategy
Above I proposed a strategy if your ex boyfriend dumped you for another girl.
Do you remember what that strategy was?
Well, it’s based on the entire idea of the attraction scale and decreasing your ex boyfriends attraction in his new girlfriend while at the same time increasing his attraction for you.
These two aspects form an interesting yin and yang relationship because they both have to work for you to be successful in winning your ex back.
So, how do we implement this strategy?
Good question.
Below I have divided the rest of this entire article up into two sections,
- How To Raise His Attractiveness Towards You
- How To Lower His Attractiveness In The New Girl
Now, I figured it would be smart to start with the part of the strategy that you have the most control over.
=======================
LETS PAUSE FOR A MOMENT
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What do you think I mean by,
“The part of the strategy that you have the most control over?”
Well, we are dealing with an ex here and in order for him to take you back HE ultimately has to come to that conclusion on his own (with a little help from you of course.) So, technically in both parts of the strategy you don’t have full control over what happens.
But what you do have are different degrees of control.
For example, raising his attractiveness towards you (what I am about to talk about) is definitely the part of this whole strategy that you have the most control over because a lot of it involves you improving yourself to become a more attractive deal for him.
On the other hand, lowering his attractiveness towards the new girl is tricky because a lot of that part of the strategy involves HIM thinking,
“This girl I am with isn’t what I thought.”
Now, with that being said there are tricky things you can do to speed the process up without overstepping your boundaries but more on that later.
For now lets just dive right in and talk about the first part of the strategy.
STRATEGY PORTION ONE: How To Raise His Attractiveness Towards You
I am about to let you in on a secret…
A secret that 99% of men out there don’t want you to know.
For the record… I am in that 1% that WANTS you to know.
So, what’s the big secret?
Hmm…
How can I put this?
Imagine if I told you everything that a man looks for in a woman?
Imagine if you could take what I say to prepare yourself to become the ultimate woman…
Well, that’s the secret?
Below I am going to list qualities and rank them on a point system.
(Ok, I will slow down for you since things are about to become REALLY complicated.)
Lets take our lesson from the attraction scale above.
If you remember correctly the attraction scale was a scale based on a 1 – 10 point system.
(1 being the lowest you can score…. a girl who is a 1 is not going to be attractive to any man)
(And 10 being the highest you can score… a girl who is a 10 will be attractive to most men walking this earth.)
But what makes up the score?
What are the “intangibles” so to speak?
Well, what I want to do is go down the list of what men find attractive and assign a point value next to the quality I talk about.
Now, here is the thing about the point value. All in all the point values across the board won’t exceed 10. In fact, all of them will equal 10.
Still confused?
Ok, and I want to make it clear that this is for example purposes only.
Lets pretend that the following qualities are what men find attractive in women,
- Being a clown… (4 points)
- Having a good smile… (1 point)
- Having a nice sounding voice (5 points)
Do you see how those three qualities equal ten?
4 + 1 + 5 = 10
We are going to be doing that for real with REAL attraction qualities. In other words, I am creating a point system within a point system.
Can anyone say inception?
Alright, lets hop to it!
The first attraction quality is….
(Drumroll please…)
Looks (5 points) – (3 Points After A While)
I started off with a big one.
A 5 pointer.
Have you ever heard that phrase,
Never judge a book by it’s cover?
The premise of this phrase revolves around not judging someone or something by it’s looks but by what it is like internally and while the thought is nice I am afraid that it doesn’t apply to the way men are attracted to women.
Now, I realize that this is a very crude example but it’s the best one I can think of.
Imagine a man who is going to a strip club to get a lap dance.
Do you honestly think that man is drawn to a stripper because of her personality?
No!
He is drawn to her because of her looks and that’s it.
The same principle applies to when a man meets a woman for the first time. I GUARANTEE YOU… the first thing he thinks isn’t going to be,
“I hope she has a good personality..”
Nope the first thing he is probably going to think is either,
“Shes hot…” or “She’s not hot…”
Now, maybe after that he will wonder about her personality but right off the bat looks make a definite impression which is why I get so angry when I see these “so called” experts out there telling women not to worry about how they look.
Are you CRAZY?
Looks definitely do matter.
And they should be given attention.
Maybe this is a better way to put it,
Do you really think when your ex boyfriend is alone and he starts daydreaming about his “perfect woman” he is going to sit there and say, “I hope she is mediocre looking?”
Absolutely not!
So, lets get a little more serious about your situation now.
What are some of the things you can do to make a huge difference in how your ex boyfriend views you looks wise?
How You Can Improve Your Own Looks
Technically speaking you can’t improve the way you look genetically.
Well, unless you get plastic surgery or something but oftentimes that makes you look worse.
(Please do not think I am telling you that you need plastic surgery… you definitely don’t.)
Just because you can’t change your genetics doesn’t mean you can’t improve yourself physically. After all, a man judges your looks based on a number of factors. Now, I don’t want to get too excessive with this section so I am just going to focus on the areas of improvement that will make him go,
“WOW, why did I break up with her?”
And here are the areas,
Notice anything specific about the areas I have chosen?
How about the fact that you have 100% control over them. In other words, whether you look better, worse or stay the same is completely up to you.
Oh, I suppose I should list the areas below in case you are picture impaired,
- Hair
- Clothing
- Body
Now comes the inevitable question.
How do you go about improving these area of your looks?
Well, I answer those questions in Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO in full but here is a quick crash course.
WORK HARD DURING THE NO CONTACT RULE.
Oh, and I suppose now is the perfect time to mention that my wife is going to be doing something super special for you in the future. You see, recently I started a YouTube channel all about teaching people what to do during a breakup.
And one of the topics that my wife wanted to cover was how women should look.
In other words, she is going to be putting together a video on makeup, hair, clothes and all of the things that I wouldn’t know.
Why should you listen to her?
Well, she used to be a professional model…
Ya, she kinda knows what she is talking about.
So, make sure you stay tuned for when those videos become live.
But before I move on to the next aspect I want to discuss one little thing.
I like to call it the “flip”
The Flip
If you notice below the looks section there is a “personality” section.
The personality section is worth 3 points at first and then after a while it turns into 5 points.
In other words, personalities point spread is eerily similar to looks’.
Why is that?
Well, it’s because looks aren’t the be all end all.
At first… they kind of are. However, after some time the point spread flips with personality (below.)
Let me give you an example.
Lets say that you were dating your ex boyfriend for a total of 5 months.
For the first two months of your relationship your looks accounted for 5 points and your personality accounted for 3 points. However, the last three months… your personality was worth 5 points and your looks 3.
Do you see how looks and personality flips?
It’s like my friend Wes always used to say,
Looks get you in the door but personality is what keeps you in the room.
Personality (3 Points) – (5 Points After A While)
This is another biggie!
No matter how you cut it 3 points or 5 points those are a lot of points out of 10.
What does this mean?
Well, it means that you should spend just as much time on your personality as you do on your looks 🙂 .
Now, I stumbled across an amazing tool today that I just had to share with you.
It’s a personality test.
Hmm…
Maybe that doesn’t quite sum up exactly how great it is. Ok, here is a better way of putting it.
It is THE personality test.
Of course, I am not into recommending things without trying it out first so I did.
I took the 70 question test here and answered every question to the best of my ability.
Guess what personality temperament I am?
What is an idealist?
Well apparently I have the following characteristics,
Sound like anyone you know 😉 .
So, how can you put this personality test to use for your own goals?
Well, there are two ways.
The first way is by becoming the best personality type you possibly can.
Think of it like this.
I am an idealist and according to the definition above I am a lot of things.
- Enthusiastic
- Seeking my true self
- Dream of attaining wisdom
- Loving
- Kindhearted
- Authentic
- Giving
- Trusting
- Spiritual
- Nurturing
- Inspirational
But am I absolutely all of those things?
Nope, I can tell you right now that I am not always enthusiastic… I am definitely not the most giving person (Hey… everyone is allowed to be a little selfish… oops… there I go again.)
Oh, and I am definitely not trusting.
It’s hard to win my trust because I see a lot of failed relationships on a daily basis so I will probably always have one eye open preparing for the worst case scenario.
Spiritual… Hahaha nope.
Nurturing… My wife (YES) Me… (Not so much…)
But if I really wanted to I could spend a lot of time working on those aspects of my personality to become the ultimate idealist! And it would definitely shine through.
So, that’s the first way to put this personality test to use for your own goals.
But what’s the second way?
By reverse engineering the process and figuring out what personality type your ex is.
What do I mean by that?
I suppose I will give you a real life example using my beautiful wife. Now, she doesn’t know that I am about to take this test on her behalf (without her knowledge) but I feel that I know her well enough to take a crack at it so I think the results will be accurate.
So, when I took the test I actually got that she was a Guardian!
Hmm… that sounds about right.
Especially when you take into account that she is a first time mother who is very protective over her child.
So, what would I do if I wanted to appear more attractive to her?
Well, I would study what a Guardians personality is like and then display some of the qualities that they would like.
Easy peasy!
Actually it’s not but this section is already getting out of control so what do you say we move on to our next attractive quality.
Ungettableness (1 Point)
Your aware of my creation, The Ungettable Girl, right?
Well, if you aren’t then I suggest you take 30 minutes out of your day to read the article I just linked to above.
Of course, there are always those lazy people out there who will refuse to read so I guess I can give you a quick crash course.
Quick Crash Course: You should look at the ungettable girl as the ultimate girl men go after. She can have any man she wants and often makes men her b*tch (and that’s putting it nicely.) I guess the big takeaway here from the UG (Ungettable Girl) is that the idea of her is what every woman who is trying to win an ex back should strive to achieve.
But there is a quality that the ungettable girl has that I didn’t cover in that quick crash course purposefully.
Why?
Because I am going to cover it now silly 🙂 .
You see, there are millions of UG’s walking around the world and each one is unique in what they can do to attract men.
HOWEVER, there is one simple quality that ALL UG’s have in common.
Care to take a guess at what that quality is?
Yep, you guessed it!
Ungettableness
What is ungettableness?
It’s this feeling that men get that no matter how hard they try they can’t seem to lock down a girl in a relationship.
They pursue… she evades.
They pursue… she evades.
They pursue… she evades.
Now, why would a man continue to chase after a woman who constantly avoids him?
If you are an avid reader of this website then you have probably heard me say multiple times that men want what they can’t have but lets get more official here.
Lets get scientific!
Have you ever heard of dissonance theory before?
Well, dissonance theory puts forth that the more effort one expends to reach a goal, the more appreciative the person who pursued the goal will be once it is attained.
In other words, men will always chase after women of a higher value because they understand that women of “high value” aren’t easy to get.
Now, let me ask you.
When you think about this logically does a woman who begs and pleads to get her ex back find herself in a position of “high value?” Do you think she is ungettable?
No way!
In other words, I guess what I am saying is that the best way that you can achieve the ungettable effect is to put yourself in a position where your ex chases you.
How?
🙂 Well… you are going to have to play a game of cat and mouse with your ex.
Take a look at the gif image below and tell me what you see,
Essentially the owner of the cat dangled something attractive in front of it and the cat responded by chasing after it.
Now, if the owner chose to he/she could continue this game for a long time without the cat ever stopping.
I want you to do something similar with your ex.
Dangle something attractive in front of him and then when you see him starting to chase you can pull away and then repeat the process over and over again.
What do you think UG do?
The Daydream Effect (1 Point)
So this rounds out our 1 – 10 point scale.
The Daydream Effect!
So, what the hell is this thing?
Kinda… but not really.
Look, this isn’t rocket science. Basically it’s your ability to make a man daydream about you.
Let me give you a few examples so I can really hammer this point home.
Lets imagine that a man is in the “talking phase” with a girl.
Talking Phase: Not dating yet BUT both parties are interested in potentially pursuing a relationship.
If that man is constantly dreaming about a happy future with long romantic walks on the beach… Well, then that would be the daydream effect in action.
Here is another example using yours truly.
When I was dating my wife (before she was my wife) I would constantly find myself daydreaming of what our future would be like.
I daydreamed of everything you could think of.
Now, what does this tell us?
Well, it tells us is that the daydream effect can happen before you date someone and while you are dating them.
Think of it like the cherry on top of the attraction cake!
STRATEGY PORTION TWO: How To Lower His Attraction For The New Girl
And now we get to the new girl…
The girl that your ex boyfriend is dating.
YUCK!
(Forgive me if that was rude but I am “pro you” and that makes the new girl my enemy!)
So, what are you capable of doing to lower your ex boyfriends attraction for this new girlfriend of his?
Well, to be honest with you there isn’t much you can directly do.
I mean, it would be kind of a b*tch move of you to try to steal your boyfriend back from a new girl. Instead, you should focus on indirectly affecting their relationship while not stepping over the line.
Wait… What Is This “Line?”
Imagine that you get your ex boyfriend back and you are over the moon about it.
Things are going great and then this girl shows up.
She hits on your boyfriend…
Tries to kiss him…
Tries to sleep with him…
Well, she has crossed the line.
The Line: This imaginary line that exists between trying to break a couple up and not.
In other words, if I told you that the best way to lower your ex boyfriends attraction for his new girlfriend is to try to kiss your boyfriend in front of her then I would be ordering you to cross the line,
Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery we aren’t into cheating.
In other words, I don’t want you crossing the line no matter how much temptation there may be.
Got it?
Of course, I still haven’t told you what you can do to lower your ex boyfriends attraction towards his new girlfriend.
Well, we are going to use a combination of brevity and jealousy.
Now, I know what you are thinking,
“Brevity… what the hell is brevity?”
Have you ever heard that phrase,
There is brilliance in brevity?
The meaning of this phrase is simple.
Less is more..
That’s it.
In other words, in order to lower your ex boyfriends attraction you don’t have to implement a strategy that takes decades to complete. No, instead what you have to do is real simple.
All you have to do is be there and threaten the new girlfriend with your presence.
That’s it…
You don’t have to interact with her or get into a fight with her or anything crude like that.
All you have to do is be there and if I know women (and I do) she will feel so threatened that she will implode and take it out on your ex boyfriend who in turn will look at her in a more unattractive way.
It’s amazing what jealousy can do.
So, do you get our basic strategy?
No?
Ok, allow me to create a graphic for you detailing it.
Now you may look at this graphic and ask yourself,
“Ok, I understand the premise BUT how do I make myself a threat to the new girlfriend by simply being present?”
Like I said, all you have to do is engage in a conversation (consistently) with your ex boyfriend. Once you do that then the jealousy appears and if you incite enough of it he will eventually lower her attraction level.
Layla
March 2, 2021 at 3:20 am
My Bf Broke up with me because he said he was reflecting in our relationship and I had to ask him if he was breaking up with me and he said yes. But a couple of days later i find out from his friend that he was talking to another girl for 3 weeks before we broke up and he got together with her as soon as he broke up with me. He also commented on a post of mine on social media and i posted a picture of a broken heart and i said i got bored to day so i decided to post what i was feeling and he comments wow that big oh well big oof and i doubt i have chances with him. I kinda want him back but i kinda want to make him regret his decion am i thinking wrongly what should i do? I did’t even know he liked her more than me i mean he has known me longer why did he go to her? I honestly dont think my attraction score is high i mean i think its average and some of other people say im pretty but i see others and im like what chance to i even stand.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 22, 2021 at 9:02 pm
Hey Layla, I would said your main thing for now is to work on your self esteem, no one else is you and that is your super power!! Read Chris’ articles about being Ungettable and use this information to realise how great you are.
Audrey
August 12, 2020 at 4:55 am
hello sorry to start asking questions again but i really need to know..on our call just not he said our relationship was based on sex but i asked what was the best part of our relationship and was it related to sex he said no..what should i do..its based on sex so was it just lust..
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 15, 2020 at 3:16 pm
Audrey, you need to stop speaking with him or you are not going to get him back
Please help me
July 18, 2020 at 9:43 am
What if they have a deep emotional connection can i still win him back?
Also what if my highest attraction score is an 8 when we first started dating..and hers is a 9..can his rating for me become stronger then an 8..like a 10?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 18, 2020 at 9:51 pm
Hey there, the advice remains the same regardless of the their connection you MUST take some time in No Contact for at least 45 days where you work on yourself and gain some emotional control. It does not matter how much of a connection they have for the honeymoon phase he is going to believe she is better than you for that time. When this honeymoon phase passes that is when you can show him he was wrong about you
Joanne
May 8, 2020 at 3:31 pm
My ex who is 46 dumped me for a girl he works with she is 26 and polish my ex is her boss. We were together for 15 and a half years . He didn’t have the balls to tell me we were finished I found his car at her flat. Do you think it’s a rebound relationship. Have heard he has moved her into his house yet never asked me to move in. He isn’t the most attractive person. He has never wanted marriage or children. But she has told people wants kids in the future . We were happy never saw it coming.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 12, 2020 at 10:15 pm
Hi Joanne, it sound more of a grass is greener not a rebound. This is where you would need to make sure you work on your Holy Trinity and then read about the being there method. Your advantage is that you have history and positive memories with him that he is going to remember and you can use over time while you speak with him. You just need to read about the being there method and fully understand it before you finish your no contact
Bosta
September 5, 2019 at 9:05 am
Hi Chris,
Me and my boyfriend were together for 1,5 year. It was all good, we had such a fun time together. It was a long distance relationship most of the time, but we called each other every day, and spent summer together. Everythink was really amazing. Then he went in summer school for 2 weeks. He still called me like usually, that he loves me etc. When he came back we met, i was a bit angry with him but anyway we spent a great day. We even get a reservation to go on vacation in 4 days. BUT 2 days after this meeting, he came to me crying. He said that he loves another women and that she loves him. That he never felt like this before. He met her in this summer school. It was nothing like him to do such a decision so quickly, so i am also blaming her, what did she promiss him. I was so cold didnt know what to do, so i said thanks for telling me and left. The next day I contact him, how could he do that, but i wished him all luck. Nothing. I contact him also on the next day and called him just to talk but he ignored me. I know that he loved me. But to switch feeling so quickly? I am gonna do no contact rule. I really want him back in my life. Do u think that this relationship will last? It will also be long distance… Do u think he will miss me and come back to me? (This happend 3 days ago)
Thank you for your help
jenny
June 19, 2019 at 12:17 am
Hi Chris
Me and my bf were in relationship for 4yrs.use to have fights like every other couples bt at end everything get fine.but with strt of this year he started to igonre me and said things like i want my space.but real thing was some other girl proposed him and he rejected saying that i m commited to my gf.and at the same day tht girl blocked him from every means of contact.he said to me he wants to be with me.thn next week he broke up with me and said he loves tht girl.i was shattered begged pleaded to him for months and everything backfired against me.and now i m in no contact period.is there any hope left for us to get back together?
Brittany T.
June 10, 2019 at 11:32 pm
How to make the pain stop after a breakup? Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
Chris Seiter
June 11, 2019 at 6:14 pm
Hi Brittany…I know you can do this…your focus should be on your healing and engaging in various recovery activities which I discuss extensively in my Program
pihu bjaj
May 31, 2019 at 1:33 pm
me and my boyfriend, we were dating for mare than 7 years …it was so good ….suddenly i find out that from last 2 months he was dating a girl who is her sisters friend …..he left me for that girl …he contacts me and again ask me to be together… i agreed but after 10 days i got to knw that he havn’t left that girl yet he is now in a living relation with him i .after doing so ,much to me he still contacted me and got caught by his new gf…and than to show that girl he insulted me …what should i do i just cant understand its been 10 days after this incident
Shatira
May 12, 2019 at 2:56 am
My boyfriend and I were together for six years. We dated exclusively for six weeks before we got physical. Eventually, we bought a house together and adopted two dogs and two cats together. We had plans to marry and move out of state. He suddenly decided he wanted to party instead and started going on three-day and four-day cocaine binges. He decided he wanted a girl who would party with him, and he stopped being responsible with his money and his time. Then he said he didn’t want that life anymore and begged me to forgive him. I told him I didn’t mind if he went out and had a good time as long as he was safe and communicated with me. Over the course of our entire relationship, after we became intimate, we had sex every day, often multiple times per day. We lived together. I trusted him. Even when I saw texts from other girls when I picked up his phone to charge it, I thought nothing of it because I had no signs that he was interested in anyone but me. Then I got a phone call that he had met someone else. They made their relationship official the NEXT DAY and moved in together at that same time. Because of the amount of time he and I spent living together, I know this girl was not someone he had had behind the scenes. In other words, they had sex on the first date and immediately chose to live together. And he gave her the nickname he always used for ME. He and I talked every day at first, until she blew up at him. Now she takes his phone the minute he gets home from work and polices it all night, reading all his texts and social media messages before he does. She has sent me nasty texts from his phone and has forbidden him to talk to me in any fashion. She blocked me on his phone and all social media. So my first question. If being ungettable is so attractive, why is he with someone so easy? (To be petty, her body is better than mine, but I’m waaaay prettier.) Second, why is he okay with her insane level of control and jealousy? (Again being petty, I’m a very chill person and have never policed him AT ALL.) Third, how can I be around to make her jealous when I’m blocked on every front? And finally, should I even attempt to get this guy back? I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I thought he felt the same. He said he did. We made “always and forever” promises to each other. In fact, before his new lover blocked me, he even told me on the phone he still wants forever with me and called me “babe” out of habit. Of course, in the same conversation, he said I was the main thing making him miserable. Should I just let her have him and try to move on and rebuild my life without him? If he’s truly happy, I don’t want to screw that up for him. Should I implement this strategy or give up?
Chris Seiter
May 12, 2019 at 3:40 pm
It sounds like you would benefit from implementing No Contact and following my Program (EBR Pro Bundle) advice to draw you closer to what you want in the end. One of the benefits of No Contact is it allows you not do things indirectly to reinforce your value and also gives you time for your own healing and reflection.
emeline
March 12, 2019 at 5:15 pm
my ex boyfriend recently dumped me for one of his best friends, first he lied to me having dreams of me cheating on him( which I would never do) but I later found out that was a lie and he was with her the whole time I blocked him on every social media account. the problem is I want to let him go but at the same time I want to be with him…. help?
Chris Seiter
March 12, 2019 at 8:34 pm
Hi Emeline! Very sorry you ex just recently dumped you and lied to you. I think employing NO Contact would be the right approach here. Pick up my massive eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” so you can get up to speed on all thing things you should be doing.
NANDA
February 1, 2019 at 12:36 pm
we were in a constant great relation for an year… he was really insane for me…but all of a sudden on the day of our first kiss…while i was in a mood of celebrations…he said me that he was crushing over a girl since 3-4 months and now finally he is gonna dump me for her…i confessed with him about this for many times since our breakup but he does not want us to be lovers anymore…but instead he could accept me as his best friend for a life time…i have already committed suicide for two times but still survived….now what should i do? he said me clearly that he still have the same feelings for me but he just does not want a relation…!!!!
Amanda
December 6, 2018 at 1:39 am
I can’t cope with the pain of my break up. Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Can’t sleep without the sleeping pills or wine. And to make things worse I think I’m getting addicted to them. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
Chris Seiter
December 6, 2018 at 3:02 am
Hi Amanda….there are many healing and recovery activities you can get involved with. You also should go see a medical and/or mental health professional so you can get the best care possible. Do that for yourself because you are special and need not suffer like this.
Jessica A
October 30, 2018 at 9:48 pm
My ex broke up with me today, we were only dating for a month. he left me for his best friend that he have feeling for (for 9 years??!!) he said he realized he wanted her and try to get her and maybe marry her if things goes his way. I’m sorry but I’m selfless and I’m TIRED of crying over guys. I want him back, but this situation is werid and I don’t know what to do 🙁
Chris Seiter
October 30, 2018 at 11:58 pm
Hi Jessica!
I am sorry. That really sucks. Usually no contact is the best way to deal with things. Take a look at my home page for more info on how you may want to proceed. I have a lot of help on the site.
Nathalie
October 3, 2018 at 3:22 pm
3 months ago, I met a guy online…As he’s living in Antalya and I’m living in Belgium, I didn’t expect too much from it, but when we started talking, we noticed we had so much in common…We started chatting and videocalling almost non-stop and we decided to meet up.
I was gonna go to Turkey and decided to make a 2-day stop in his hometown. He took some days off in October so we could go somewhere together and applied for a visa to Belgium so he could come and visit me in November (and bought the ticket).
I spent 2 days with him at the end of August, during which he was the sweetest guy I have ever known and he spent like a fortune on me dining and wining me and taking me places. On the second day we had a talk about us and he told me he really liked me and that I could consider myself his girlfriend…
One week after I got back to Belgium, I noticed some changes in his behavior: less texting, videocalls, no more I miss you’s…I didn’t want to be clingy so I just let him be… 2 days before I was gonna come to Turkey again, he told me he couldn’t see me because of work (his boss was gonna send him to Ankara to attend a seminar). I told him I could easily reschedule and come a week later…He then decided to come clean and told me he actually did not want me to come…that he just didn’t feel it and that he liked some other girl and wanted to be with her…But that he still wanted to chat with me from time to time. I told him I couldn’t do that and wished him the best of luck…He couldn’t believe I didn’t hate him, but I kept my calm and started no contact…
I really don’t understand what happened and obviously I still love him, any tips?
Chris Seiter
October 5, 2018 at 2:34 am
Hi Nathalie!
So I suspect you are not cool with him chatting with you from time to time while he likes this other girl. Perhaps you should consider implementing no contact and doing it in the way I teach in my Program.
Eunice
October 3, 2018 at 12:33 pm
Hey Chris thank you for your reply. I want to have him back, i love him so much. Our relationship was not perfect but we were happy. When we were together he never cheated on me and he invested so much time and effort for me. I know that he loved me but maybe because we were apart for few months everything changed. The laat time i spoke with him about 2 weeks ago i asked if he already has someone else but he never admitted it. He blame me why our relationship ended this way, he told me it was because of me being jealous and always throwing suspicions towards him. I never intended for him to feel that way and i felt really bad. I don’t want to lose him but i feel like he is already moving on with his life now. I am trying my best not to initiate contact with him but i’m scared i might lose him forever. Do you think i can still make him change his mind?
Chris Seiter
October 5, 2018 at 2:41 am
HI again Eunice!
None of us are perfect and that means your ex too. Blaming is easy to do and I am sorry he blamed you for something he is a part of making happen. Stay the course with your plan. If you need resources to help you, check out any of my eBooks!
Eunice
September 27, 2018 at 9:06 am
Hi EBR Team,
Me and my boyfriend were together for almost 4 years and we used to live together, 5 months ago he went back to our home country so we were in LDR for like 4 months prior to our breakup. I discovered he is already seeing someone else and my ex boyfriens is planning to go to Qatar and i felt that he is doing this to follow that girl because that girl is going back to Qatar to work. I think he is getting serious about that girl because he is willing to follow her in Qatar. We just broke up few weeks ago and i think the reason why he left me just like that was because of that girl. I tried to fix things between us but he does not want to get back together with me anymore. I begged for him just to talk with me because he is completely ignoring me, he blocked my mobile number, he blocked me on facebook, he cut all his communications with me and it seems like he does not care about me at all. I am feeling so hopeless and hurt because we had so many plans with our life and now it’s all gone. I love him so much but he already replaced me. I begged for him to talk to me because it was not clear to me what really happened between us, i asked him to give me proper closure and explanations but it seems like he is avoiding that by ignoring me. He does not want to talk to me anymore and i know it is impossible for us to get back together again because he already has plans of his own. How can he throw away everything that we has just loke that?
Chris Seiter
September 28, 2018 at 3:03 am
Hi Eunice!
It would be best to form your ex recovery plan with an emphasis on realizing some healing first. After things get better sorted in your mind, you can decide if you wish to invest any more time in him since he keeps pushing you away. Check out some of the resources I have throughout my site to help you thru all this.
Chris Seiter
September 28, 2018 at 3:03 am
Hi Eunice!
It would be best to form your ex recovery plan with an emphasis on realizing some healing first. After things get better sorted in your mind, you can decide if you wish to invest any more time in him since he keeps pushing you away. Check out some of the resources I have throughout my site to help you thru all this.
Tanuja
March 19, 2018 at 5:20 am
hi amor ! I was in a 3yr relationship with my bf.we did long distance for the last 1yr. Family situations at my end were not good, and I often ended up projecting the negativity from the problems in my family on to him.I had meaningless fights with him. and in Feb,I really lost it one day when he couldn’t give me enough time(he remains very busy with work) and I shouted at him.I of course apologized the next day.then few days later I learnt he started dating and talking to another girl.when I confronted him, he finally said that we should call it off.I begged and pleaded. But he said there was no going back. Now I am not in touch with him for the last 10days. I know that he is into the other girl. What should I do after the no contact period? Should I move into the same town, if I get such a chance? and then, what?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 24, 2018 at 4:56 pm
Hi Tanuja,
You shouted at him, had a fight but you didn’t break up right?
Tanuja
March 19, 2018 at 5:19 am
hi amor ! I was in a 3yr relationship with my bf.we did long distance for the last 1yr. Family situations at my end were not good, and I often ended up projecting the negativity from the problems in my family on to him.I had meaningless fights with him. and in Feb,I really lost it one day when he couldn’t give me enough time(he remains very busy with work) and I shouted at him.I of course apologized the next day.then few days later I learnt he started dating and talking to another girl.when I confronted him, he finally said that we should call it off.I begged and pleaded. But he said there was no going back. Now I am not in touch with him for the last 10days. I know that he is into the other girl. What should I do after the no contact period? Should I move into the same town, if I get such a chance? and then, what?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 24, 2018 at 4:55 pm
Hi Tanuja,
You shouted at him, had a fight but you didn’t break up right?
Zelenia
March 6, 2018 at 12:12 am
Hey, so we’ll call this guy Jack. Alright so mine and Jack’s relationship started with me being a “side chick”, after he broke up with her for me, we waited for about a month. In the month of us being together, i did get crazily busy and i did talk to him just no where near as much as i had once, he started acting different, like he had really changed and he had been talking ALOT with one of his girl friends… Once i finally had time for him, he decided to break up with me saying that he just wants to be friends (his friend had also hated that we were dating) and so, he wanted to be friends and at first i was alright because i figured it would make him happy so it would make me happy even through it broke my heart. Its 6 days past and I hate being his friend and he plans to get a different girlfriend. Which is a girl i know, i assured her that she should date him ( i don’t know what i was thinking, i was just trying to let go of him until i realized i can’t) and i did beg and plead for him to get back with me and he always said no…and now tomorrow I’m supposed to go “mess around with him”….im really lost and i don’t know what to do….please help…please, and honestly i do feel like he is getting really annoyed with me…please help
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2018 at 1:43 pm
Hi Zelenia,
Stop being friends with him and follow the advice above.
Pearl
February 23, 2018 at 4:33 am
Hi. My ex and I broke up for 5 months now. We didn’t see each other now going one yr this March. He is in Qatar, an Indian. I left Qatar last yr March. I was pregnant that time. We were ok. But since July he started lying to me which I believed. He said his parents they are going to fix his marriage. I was crying whole day and night begging him not to leave me and our baby, which still on my tummy that time. He said he don’t know what to do. He was confused. And then September came, he told me he wanted break up after I gave birth. Of course I disagreed. But still he left us. Then on October, I found out he has a new gf in Qatar. I was really broke. My world crashed. I fell in depression. I lose weight. Crying everyday while taking care of our baby. I dont know how to get him back. I think he is serious for his new gf. He brought the girl to his hometown in India and told his parents she is a friend. I was devastated and betrayed.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2018 at 10:27 am
Hi Pearl,
Go to therapy. Get yourself better first for yourself and for your baby.