How are you supposed to get an ex boyfriend back if he cheated on you? Do you even want to get him back? I’ll admit that these are a few of the most asked questions I get on this site. Today I am going to do my very best to answer them both for you. If you are new to my site then just a warning, every single page I write goes far more in-depth than my peers. Every page draws upon in-depth research (from experts), stories from women who have had success and my own personal experience. So, rather than write more filler content I would prefer to talk about the stuff that can actually do something for you!

Getting A Cheating Boyfriend Back… Is It Possible?

Heck ya it is possible! Of course, the real question is do you even want him back? I have found that a lot of the women who I have worked with who have been cheated on decide not to get their ex boyfriends back because they feel a lot better about themselves after they read the process on this page.

Why Do Men Cheat?

Cheating

Understanding why your boyfriend cheated on you is important. In this section I am going to give you some insight into the male psyche so you can understand why a man will cheat on you. Obviously, there are a lot of different reasons that a man will ultimately decide to cheat on his girlfriend but I would have to say that the most common reason would be because he is just plain horny.

Basically, he sees something he wants and he goes and gets it. While, I think it is a horrible betrayal of trust to cheat on someone (why not break up with them before you move on?) I think a case can be made here that evolution plays a role in his “horniness.” At his very core, a man is instilled with a primal need to replicate/reproduce. Humans were never intended to be monogamous creatures. While I think it says a lot about the advancement of humans that we have slowly developed into a race that seeks out a significant other we weren’t originally intended to do so.

Now, I don’t want you to sit there and feel like I am in any way “for” cheating because I AM NOT. I am simply explaining to you why your ex would feel a need to cheat on you. I suppose there is a little comfort to take in the fact that your ex didn’t cheat on you because of something you did but because he can’t properly his sexual urges. Which leads us to the next section.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Should You Even Try To Get A Cheating Boyfriend Back?

optimism

As I write these words I am little conflicted. A part of me wants to tell you to move on but another part of me wants to help you. You clearly came here because you want your ex boyfriend back and I want to help you do that but above all I want to help YOU. Sometimes that means telling you to run the other way. So, I am just going to say this:

The only way that I can justify giving you my help is if you have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your ex.

(I outline the legitimate reasons a lot more in my book found here.)

This means that I CAN NOT help you if you

  • Don’t have a good reason for getting back together.
  • If he has cheated on you multiple times.
  • If you don’t think you can do any better than your ex.
  • The relationship you had was physically or mentally abusive.

However, I WILL be willing to offer you my help if you.

  • Have a legitimate reason for wanting to get together again.
  • If the cheating was an isolated incident (AND WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN)

Trusting Yourself

strength of gut

Here is the deal, before you try to get your ex boyfriend back (if he cheated on you) I am going to ask you to do something that may be a little unorthodox. I want you to implement a no contact rule. If you are familiar with my site then you know I am a really big believer in the no contact rule. Usually, the most powerful part of the no contact rule is it’s ability to break a guy down and make him wonder why you haven’t tried contacting him yet, making him really be on the edge of his seat for when you finally do decide to reach out.

BUT

You are in a very unique situation so I am going to ask you implement the no contact rule for an entirely different reason. I want you to use it as a sort of self check. As you read my page you may still be pretty close to your breakup, time wise. As you will probably realize, making big decisions like going back to an ex who cheated on you isn’t a choice you should make when you are so emotionally unstable (no offense.) The normal no contact period is supposed to last one month or 30 days. That means you can’t text, email, facebook, google plus or talk to your ex on the phone. You essentially cut off all communication. However, I would say that you up the no contact period in this case to 45 days

If after that amount of time you still want to get your ex back then I say you should go right ahead. Notice how you are going to be using the no contact rule on three fronts.

  1. To get your ex a little worried that you will never contact him again.
  2. To use the time to work on yourself (healing)
  3. To decide if your ex is even worth getting back

Deciding If He Is Worth Getting Back

During your 45 days of no contact you are obviously going to have some thinking to do. As stated above, you are going to have to decide if you want to take your ex boyfriend back. You may find that after 45 days you just don’t have the same desire you did to get him back when you first started the NC period. It that happens to you then you should probably move on to someone new.

Since we are dealing with someone who cheated on you the thing you really need to figure out is if he is the type of person that will cheat on a moments notice. Here are some qualities that cheaters tend to have.

  • Narcissistic (Selfish and only thinks of himself.)
  • Chronic Liars (Everyone lies but if someone does it over and over you may have to take a step back and decide if this is someone worth being with.)
  • Someone who gets jealous very easily (If he is constantly accusing you of inappropriate behavior.)
  • Constantly flirts with other girls (Every guy will flirt every now and then but if it is common behavior for him then be careful.)
  • If your ex has cheated in the past (Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes but if he cheated in the past then that behavior is NOT a one time thing.)

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Contacting Your Ex

The time has come, you have waited, hopefully 45 days, and it is finally time to try and start getting your ex boyfriend back. Now, before I go into some long explanation about each step you should take I do feel it is important to mention that I have put together a HUGE resource on how to get your ex back here. While I will talk about what you should do on this page I can tell you that the page I just linked to goes into way more detail (which you will definitely need.)

Alright, now that I have that out of the way lets dive in to how you should contact your ex boyfriend after 45 days.

Usually what happens is your ex will have contacted you at one point during the NC period. That is a really good sign because it means they are interested or concerned about you. Basically, they are feeling something towards you which is what you want. Now, the whole point of the no contact rule was to NOT contact your ex so you aren’t exactly allowed to respond to them after they contact you during the initial 45 day period. Understand that you essentially ignoring them will make them really angry.  I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DON’T CARE HOW THEY FEEL. At least, not at this point.

What is going to happen is that when you finally do decide to contact them they are going to be filled with joy. They have waited all this time to hear from you and when that moment finally comes they are going to be so excited that they will probably run up and down the stairs and do all the things that guys do when they are happy.

Now, here is an interesting question. What is the best way to contact your ex boyfriend?

Choice 1: Calling (NOOOO)

Choice 2: Writing A Letter or Emailing (NOOOO)

Choice 3: Texting (YESSS)

Before I move on I am going to take a few moments to go through each of the choices and explain why texting is the way to go.

Calling – It’s way too much way too soon. As I have said multiple times throughout this site, you have to earn the right to call your ex or in this case, your ex has to earn the right to call you. Besides, when you talk on the phone you don’t have time to think. You have to say just the right thing at just the right time for things to work out the way you want them to. However, the biggest disadvantage for calling an ex is the fact that you could potentially get angry, raise your voice and start a fight if something is said that you don’t like. Now, it may seem like I am swearing off calling altogether but I promise you I am not. In fact, there is a time and a place to use calling as a way to contact your ex but only after your ex earns the right for you to call them. I feel I do a good job of explaining when the proper time to call is in the link I provided at the beginning of this section.

Writing A Letter – It’s creepy. Can you imagine getting a letter after 45 days of no contact from someone that you thought didn’t want to talk to you? Besides, sending a letter is a bold statement that basically screams I STILL LOVE YOU. There is no way to that sending a letter is “light” it is basically an all or nothing kind of deal or as I like to say, it’s a low percentage shot of getting your ex back.

Emailing- A couple of problems with this. First, does your ex even check their email? I can go days, sometimes months without checking certain emails (I have multiple.) Secondly, there is no way that you can get an instant response. With a text if your ex doesn’t respond to you in a day then you can pretty much determine “ok, well that didn’t work.” However, with an email it can sometimes take 2-3 days for a response. I think you have waited long enough.

Texting- Texting is really the best option you have for a number of reasons. First off, it gives you time to think (which calling doesn’t allow.) Every single text message you can craft with time and thought. It is also impossible to show you are angry by raising your voice through a text. Add in the fact that you can get a quick response and you are good to go!

What Do You Say To Them?

Alright great, so now you know that texting is the way to go if you want to get your ex back the question becomes “what do you say in your texts?” I am not going to pretend that this is the easiest thing to do in the world because quite honestly anyone who claims that is lying. Getting your ex back is not going to be an easy task. What I will say is that I have written a page that will help you make the “what to say” process even easier. Check out my texting guide that will help you through what to say to your ex boyfriend.

What to Read Next

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1,047 thoughts on “He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?”

  1. Avatar

    Emily

    April 26, 2021 at 6:48 pm

    Hiya I’m nearly 5 months pregnant my child’s father ex has cheated on me before messgings girls etc not ever heard of him doing anything physical
    With then but now I’m pregnant we had a fall out he blocked me on everything told me he wasn’t doing anything and then 2 days later I had screenshots off some girl and told by other girls I knew him adding them, I have blocked him on everything I am full of hurt tbh but he has not tired to contact for me to even say sorry I sent him a long message about his disrespect and nothing hurt is an understatement why no apology why the no contacting me like I have done something wrong

  2. Avatar

    Emma

    December 2, 2020 at 1:49 am

    Hi,
    I was with my ex for almost 3 years. We moved across the country together and lived with roommates and that out some stress on our relationship. Towards the end of our relationship he took a job back in the state we had moved from without discussing it with me but still wanted to stay together. He said we could have a fresh start and he’s be making better money and be closer to our families. It was to be 3 months apart until our lease was up and then I’d move back with him. He did offer for me to come back with him but he was staying with his mother until we got an apartment so I’d be staying back with my parents. It was all so last minute I stayed to make sure the roommates didn’t mess up our security deposit. We picked out a new apartment and he started talking about our future. A month into it I found out I was pregnant. A shock but after some long discussions we planned to keep the baby. Another month later and I caught him communicating daily on Snapchat with a girl that we had both been friends with back in the same state I was still in. She had gone on a working trip for a month for school and we lost touch after that. He was sorry and said they were just friends and said he would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. Fast forward to when he came back to drive back to the new state with me and we argued and then made up. Then I saw a call from that girl he said he blocked and never talked to again. He lied and said she was blocked and his phone must have glitched. I was scared that he would never grow up and I didn’t want to trap myself in a bad relationship with a baby. I dropped him off at his new apartment and broke up with him and drove 6 hours to my home town. He was calling and texting and saying he loved me but not showing any effort of change or reassurance of not doing the same thing again so I was waiting. He kept saying he’d come to an appointment for the baby and he wanted to be involved but was always busy with work. He said he was still single and focusing on work and the future for our child. He never showed up when our daughter was born 5 months after we broke up and then I find out from a friend that the girl I caught him talking to had moved across the country and was living in the same city as my ex and dating him and had been since 2 months after we broke up. He would still text me and call me and we’d argue but about how he’d say I shouldn’t have broken up with him and I’d say he shouldn’t have cheated on me. He denied having a new girlfriend when I asked outright. He says he thought we would never get back together and he didn’t start dating her until way after we broke up. We have bad communication and we are both stubborn. He calls to FaceTime his daughter now and wants to have hours long conversations with me and be friends and act like nothing bad ever happened. I think I want to work it out because I do miss the friendship we had and him in general but I can’t tell if I would be stupid to just forgive him and get over such a big betrayal. Or if he’s serious with this new girl and I don’t have a chance at getting him back. I tried no contact but because of our daughter that didn’t work out. I feel like I can wait out their relationship because it’s just a rebound and will surely fail but I’m scared the longer it goes on the more serious they will get. Is the Be There route the way to go?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 23, 2020 at 6:18 pm

      Hi Emma, yes there is the being there method – and I would say you can do so with this. But you first need to complete a limited no contact, where you would only speak to him about your daughter and definitely not have hour long conversations with him! You need to allow him some time to speak / see his child on facetime and then end the call explaining you have things to do – this would be short term of course as you need to start following the program.

  3. Avatar

    Emily

    November 15, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    Hi,
    I’ve been dating my now ex boyfriend for 3 months. But had been friends 3 months prior to that. We got on so well. All the same hobbies, interests, wants and values in life. We both have children and decided we’d like to take the next step of introducing everybody. He told his baby mum about me (split since jan) and she turned physco. Begging for him back, saying she’d doing anything to change and become a better partner so they could be a family etc. I gave him some space because his head was battered. He called me 2 days later, crying, saying he’d slept with her. He said he doesn’t want her back and she did it to break us up. I was angry at first but then willing to forgive. Hes now saying he needs space and to sort his head out?!?! No grovelling just total silence from him after him saying he needs time. He also said I was really special and ill make someone really happy. I don’t want anybody else though, I want him. Will no contact work??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 19, 2020 at 5:40 pm

      Hi Emily, I think your ex is caught up in the idea of being a family with his childs mother and being with his child full time. Where he also had a brief relationship with you. You need to understand that he is going to be weighing all his options and thinking about what is going to make him happy. Make sure that you spend your time being Ungettable so he can see how great you are, and just do not argue or react to anything you see about him and his ex

  4. Avatar

    Sarah

    October 30, 2020 at 2:07 pm

    Hi Shauna, I didn’t quite get you when you said “take a step back and understand right now he doesn’t feel that way… but does not mean he cannot change his mind again.” Could you please clarify? 🙂
    Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 31, 2020 at 3:03 pm

      Hi Sarah, what I meant by that is that he does not want a relationship with you right now, but that does not mean his mind wont change. His emotions, situation and mindset all change all the time. So once you have given him space he could realise he misses you and that you were just at a difficult point in your relationship.

  5. Avatar

    Sarah

    October 29, 2020 at 6:16 am

    Hi..so my bf and I completed 2 years in September. He’s always been a really nice guy- supportive- kind- fawned over me – great with my parents (first guy whose met them- he wanted to..I was freaking out)..and none of it was asked for or like insisted on either. That was just how he was with me. We were planning to even get married next year (also initiated by him- I’m a tad bit commitment phobic but was onboard after a year).
    And then end of September it started with him telling me that he’s been lying about completing his graduation during our relationship. So after a lot of talk I told him that it was fixable and we’d work on it. He had been convinced that I would end it when he told me about it but I didn’t. After that we were talking for like a week and a half..we were ok. Then communication decreased. He started going to his cousins house cause of some reason or the other often. Sometimes we would talk but something felt off. He insisted he wants us and loves me and wants to work on us.
    Then there was a conversation in between about how he felt his feelings were fading (in all aspects) because he didn’t find himself reacting normally anymore. He was slacking at work- getting irritable with his mum- getting irritable with long talks with me (never happened before)..just generally being unlike him.
    Two days ago I found a screenshot of a call log with multiple calls from his friends roommate on his phone at like 3.50 am. I asked him about it, he slowly revealed that she confessed to having feelings for him and a while after..he reciprocated the same. He insisted that nothing physical had occurred and they were only talking. But he felt “infatuation” (pretty sure he was quoting her).
    He said he loved me and wanted to be with me. I asked him if we should end it and he said that isn’t what he wants. He didn’t feel the same for her as he did with me but he reinserted the feelings fading line.
    So since nothing had (hopefully) happened. I asked him if he would stop..he said he needed a couple of days. I was obviously upset because I don’t think it should be a debate.
    However, after that when I said maybe we should end it..he didn’t protest. So I went through with it. I love him immensely and still want to be with him and to be honest would have let it go eventually. But he couldn’t choose me when it came down to it. And I know he gets overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to respond at times so he messages later..but there was nothing this time.
    Till the last minute he insisted on wanting me, to being only with me, and getting married too (we literally discussed it a couple of days before that- he said he would marry me tomorrow if we had our finances together).
    But when it came to stopping all contact with her..I don’t know.
    We’ve spent pretty much entire days together for the past 2 years. He’s been there during the highest and two very low points in my life. Come what may- he’s been there. And suddenly it’s taken a month to give all that up?
    This girl he was talking to knew about me. She knew he was in a relationship. She apparently told him to fix things with me but they continued talking after too. The screenshot was dated as October 6th- he was sending me screenshots of engagement rings the day before that..so maybe he took the screenshot to tell me..but he didn’t.
    I’m hurt and so angry and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. But I also want to face the fact that he has not tried fixing it.
    I went to his house yesterday to pick up my stuff and he looked happy? Possibly..to see me but was surprised my SIL was with me so he seemed confused wether to be hospitable or talk to me. But..he didn’t..there was moment when he could and maybe I’m wrong but it looked like he was building himself to..but nothing. No text or call after either.
    The thing is..we work together too. So eventually I’m going to see him. I’m so scared that he’s going to move on if I don’t do something. But I also know I can’t make him..he needs to want to do something.
    I haven’t spoken to many people about this lately..but whoever I have spoken too..can’t believe it. They can’t believe he would cheat. They’ve seen us together and know how we have been..so the closest people like my brother, my mother, SIL, and my dad who wants to get mad but he too is convinced that this isn’t him. And I agree. Even in my wildest dreams cheating would never have occured to me. However he didn’t stop me or fix it yet either. To be honest he doesn’t have it in him. I mean he’s the same guy who liked me from afar for a year while I was in a relationship and then wouldn’t make a move when he finally began talking to me. And the irony..his last gf cheated on him.
    So..I don’t know. It’s obviously not been long since. But I’m scared of waiting too long and losing him too. I’m scared of it all. I want to be with him. I love him. And I feel like an idiot at the same time.
    How do you go from making future plans with me like inviting me to join him and his friends on Sunday, being back in town before my birthday, being here for Christmas and getting freaking married next year. Just how? What am I supposed to do now?
    Also I’m 15 days late. The last test still showed it as negative. But I don’t know. And yes he was there when I took it too. 2 days before we broke up.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 29, 2020 at 8:13 pm

      Hi Sarah, I would suggest that you take a step back and understand right now he doesn’t feel that way… but does not mean he cannot change his mind again. Stick with the rules of no contact, spend some time working on yourself, I would suggest getting in touch with a Dr about the lateness and negative results as it could be too early to tell. And from there work on yourself, if you are pregnant tell him, if you are not then just leave him for the solid 30 days NC. Read articles to help you through the program and what to do with each stage.

  6. Avatar

    Precious brown

    October 16, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    My boyfriend has a baby mama whom he told me about but promised they had nothing together anymore but she latter lost the baby and is now staying with him in his house and still yet he wants to date me what do I do

  7. Avatar

    Carmen

    October 5, 2020 at 1:25 pm

    My boyfriend of 12 years who I thought was my soulmate cheated on me with his coworker and left. He began cheated when our baby was only a month old and i found out 3 months later. I believe he was doing it because I couldn’t give him what that woman was giving him (sex) since I was just postpartum. We have a 6 month old and a 3 year old and we still speak but only about the children. It’s so weird because he acts so defensive sometimes like if I was the one who did something wrong and refuses to be in the same room with me for more than 5 minutes. I really want to do the no contact rule but it’s almost impossible since he does call to see the kids twice a day on FaceTime. I’ve been told by a close friend that he has stopped being with this woman but I don’t believe that because I’ve noticed a few things. We broke up a month ago and he’s still telling our friend how he wants me to find someone to get over him and he just wants to enjoy his freedom. He just turned 30 and nowww he feels like he wants to mess around? I don’t understand it, i just feel so blindsided by the entire situation because this is not the person I have been with for so many years.

  8. Avatar

    Annie Daniels

    September 12, 2020 at 8:20 am

    I never knew I loved my boyfriend so much until I saw him with another girl. I also didn’t believe he had another girl because he said he wasn’t into any relationship neither have I caught him with another girl until last Thursday, 10/9/2020. I am pained and want him back. Although I wouldn’t want to get married to him…

  9. Avatar

    Ck

    September 9, 2020 at 12:42 pm

    My ex bf cheated on me ….
    After breakup he always used to talk to me show care inititae the contact and wants to meet me ..the scene was like that i thought he still loves me …. but then i found out that he was actually cheating .
    The other girl and me both talked to him together on conference call… that time he told that he’ll talk to each girls separately. We agreed and talked
    ..he wants to be friends with me and that other girl as well…
    The other girl sent me everything what they talked…… the recording was something like that he wants her back but she refused ….. after that i blocked him from everywhere.
    Next day he again called me and messaged me to talk to him…. i unblocked him and talked, he told me to remain friends .
    I asked him if he wants a relationship with that another girl or with me ? he said no .
    But i guess he was lying to me …. he wants a relationship with that other girl because he was asking for one another chance in that chat which was sent by that other girl ….
    What to do now ?
    How he’ll come back to me ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 11, 2020 at 9:17 pm

      Hey CK, you need to follow a No Contact where you focus on yourself and work to be Ungettable. After completing a 45 day NC you start reaching out and using the methods Chris goes through in his articles about texting your ex

  10. Avatar

    Ck

    September 8, 2020 at 11:00 am

    My ex bf cheated on me ….
    After breakup he always used to talk to me show care inititae the contact and wants to meet me ..the scene was like that i thought he still loves me …. but then i found out that he was actually cheating .
    The other girl and me both talked to him together on conference call… that time he told that he’ll talk to each girls separately. We agreed and talked
    ..he wants to be friends with me and that other girl as well…
    The other girl sent me everything what they talked…… the recording was something like that he wants her back but she refused ….. after that i blocked him from everywhere.
    Next day he again called me and messaged me to talk to him…. i unblocked him and talked, he told me to remain friends .
    I asked him if he wants a relationship with that another girl or with me ? he said no .
    But i guess he was lying to me …. he wants a relationship with that other girl because he was asking for one another chance in that chat which was sent by that other girl ….
    What to do now ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 23, 2020 at 9:40 am

      Hi CK, that is really hard for you to hear but he cheated on you and is perusing the other girl at this time. First of all you deserve someone better than who is going to treat you this way, but for not you follow a No Contact for at least 45 days and stick with it, it does not matter that he wants to remain friends, ignore him for a solid 45 days. No matter what he says to you via text or tries to phone you. You ignore him

  11. Avatar

    Veronica

    August 14, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    I have a boyfriend and he is married man I got a baby boy with him,,,3yrs boy.. but he’s is always sleep with any one even a house girl.sometimes I don’t understand him whether am a second wife or am stragger according with his behaviors.. not the 1st time or 2nd time to got him with different ladies n he told me he’s not ready to marry me.i can find another guy what should I do cuz he’s still help me and visiting the kid.. but no sex,am confused

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 15, 2020 at 1:41 pm

      Hi Veronica, I think in situations like yours where he is already married that you should consider if you want to be with someone who is going to cheat on his wife, and then have you as a girlfriend, getting you pregnant and still sleeping around with other people. Is he worth being with as it seems he has no respect for women whatsoever.

  12. Avatar

    aastha

    July 30, 2020 at 4:59 pm

    Its really very usefull…..i m really vry glad for your suggestions….can i contact u to take more advice ….like i wnt to share my whole situation with of being cheated n wht reasons he is justifying now….can i conatct u plsss…i would look forwrd for a positive response from u…thanku ott

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 31, 2020 at 11:00 am

      Hey Aastha, you can post your situation here and I can reply to you. If not then you would need to look at the coaching options to speak one to one. Also consider the ERP Pro and Private Facebook group as there is loads of support there too

  13. Avatar

    Gwendolyn Johnson

    July 18, 2020 at 9:30 am

    My God im so glad I read this I feel much better you understand exactly what I’m feeling I needed to hear this thank you your words of encouragement are on point thank you so very much I feel like I’ve went to a counseling session

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 18, 2020 at 9:53 pm

      Hi Gwendolyn, very glad this article could help you!

  14. Avatar

    Audrey

    July 14, 2020 at 6:50 am

    but what if he likes someone more..and he said he miss me (sometimes) but he’s rejecting his feelings..what should i do..he likes her quirks and little things..and he said their connection is strong and that he said their convo goes deep..i really eant him back but he’s rejecting his feelings..please help i’m a minor so i can’t book anything i’m sorry

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 14, 2020 at 4:24 pm

      Audrey, right not you need to stop talking to him and follow this program starting with a No Contact, this is for 45 days. The more time you spend talking to him about her and their relationship the more damage you are doing. You need to show your ex that you are strong and know your worth! While it does not feel natural to do this when he is getting to know someone else. Right now their relationship is brand new, so of course he things she is great. He has not yet found flaws in her because they have just met! Give it time and believe in the program

  15. Avatar

    Amanda

    July 3, 2020 at 1:00 am

    Hi I need some advice, my ex and I were together 4 months and he told me he loved me and we spent almost everyday together but a few nights he stayed out late with the boys and never called or came home but I didn’t question it, the last time I did and he called me crazy saying he would never cheat and I shouldn’t think that way because he’s been cheated on in the past by his exes, fast forward a few days ago and I heard from my friend kaylee that she saw my boyfriend making out with some girl at a party and theirs video proof so I confront my boyfriend and he’s like I cheated on you 3 times haha sucks for you and then he blocked me on everything but I miss him and his friends are telling me he misses me too, I don’t wanna get back with him but I miss him and I never got closure since he just said he cheated and blocked me on everything I really loved him and this is so hard

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    Clara

    July 2, 2020 at 10:42 am

    Hi, I could really use your advice my ex and I were together 4 months and we did everything together mostly he told me he loved me he bought me a promise ring and all this stuff however he would disappear some nights and I asked if he cheated on me and he always said no because he knew what it felt like and then yesterday my friend kaylee caught my boyfriend with some girl Jen and I confronted him over text and his response was I cheated on you three times haha have a nice life and he blocked me on everything but I can’t stop thinking about him and I don’t know what to do it’s only been about a day and I know he’s toxic and cheats and has hurt me but I don’t know why I wanna text or call him right now, any advice would help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 26, 2020 at 10:04 am

      Hi Clara, I would say that you got lucky finding out. He sounds like an awful person to treat you this way! You want to text him because at the moment your emotions are getting the better of you. Remind yourself of your worth and walk away from him

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    Cindy

    June 25, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    I was with my ex for two years. We recently broke up and we recently turned two years. Our two year was on a Saturday, we didn’t go out or see each other. The whole weekend he was acting weird barely texting,calling or calling me babe. The weekend went by and I got the “we need to talk text” he came to talk to me and come to find out he cheated on me multiple times. He said on Saturday on our two year he took a girl to a party and kissed her on the cheek. He was crying and kept telling me that he doesn’t deserve me that he’s not a good person And he wants to change and work on himself. that he loves me and wants to be with me. He also said he won’t change? How can someone love you but not change ? Sounds ridiculous but I want him back. Despite everything. The past three days after the break up I kept texting and calling him wanting To talk more, he would answer but he would just say “ i can’t do this. I don’t deserve you.” I ended up talking to him the next day face to face and he told me he just wanted to be single and free and when I would ask if he still loved me he wouldn’t say a word and would say that I don’t understand him. After the talk we left it has friends had I stoped texting him and he just started texting me. It hasn’t been a day. He is so confusing and difficult to talk to. I do want to be with him which is so dumb for me to say. What should I do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 22, 2020 at 8:10 pm

      Hey Cindy, I would suggest that you start following the program starting with No Contact so that you can work on yourself and your Holy Trinity to be Ungettable. Then read and follow the advice for texting phase, how you should reach out and what type of texts to get your ex talking.

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    Tina

    June 12, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    I was with my ex for three years. When we first dated I met my previous ex who tried to kiss me I also lied about my past and didn’t tell my ex. He later found out about this. Since then my now ex held that over my held for our whole relationship He also constantly accused me of cheating etc. At the end of 3 years I realised we need to break up so we both can heal. We have been broken up for 3 weeks. He told me yesterday that he cheated on me ( he met up with different girls as friends nothing happened, but there was on girl who kissed him, in the first two years of us dating) after that for the last year he never cheated again. I want to take him back but I am not sure what to do? Should I meet him and sort this out or do I need time away from home before trying to work things out?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 13, 2020 at 10:19 pm

      Hi Tina, I would say that you both need some time apart so that you can both deal with your emotions. And also understand why you both felt the need to go to other people for attention.

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    Anagha

    May 17, 2020 at 3:16 am

    How can I get my ex bf back if he broke up with me and is trying to get back with his first love after she comes and proposes him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 17, 2020 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Anagha, you need to complete a 45 day NC working on your holy trinity and then you start the being there method

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    Grac

    March 3, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    so me and boyfriend have been dating for about a year and a half now and at one point he went to a party and was all up on some girl and he “swore to god” that he didn’t cheat on me and I found out he lied about a couple of things and he said he was just really drunk and he was really sorry and that he loved me and wanted me in his life forever and that he was so so sorry and he was gonna tell me the truth about everything from now on and he was gonna change and I thought he changed because he met my parents, brought me eat, hung out with me a lot, took all the girls off his snapchat, appreciated me more and I thought we were perfectly fine because he was telling me a lot of things he never would’ve told me before and he went to an event with a lot of drunk girls this weekend and he knows I get nervous when he goes to stuff like that and he didn’t invite me and I was so so nervous but that Friday night of the event everyone was telling me was loyal and then come Saturday I got really nervous and I didn’t want to ruin his night and I knew I was gonna say something that pissed him off cause I was anxious and I just blocked him for bit and I didn’t think about it and last time I blocked him he told me next time I blocked him he would be done but him lieing to me in the past causes all of my trust issues I thought they were fine until this night and his friends said as soon as I blocked him he was like saying fuck me cause I blocked him and all this random crap and was hooking up with girls and then continued to bring this girl to his moms house and they slept in the same but she said they never did anything but some people are saying they did and I’ve tried calling and texting him and he won’t answer anything and the only thing he said to me was “ I wish you the best too” and we I said something about us talking and he told me he when he gets home from work we could talk and I said okay and he never texted me and we haven’t texted all day and I don’t know what to do like I don’t want to lose him but apparently he’s texting that girl taht was all up on him at a party

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 17, 2020 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Grac so your ex has a grass is greener syndrome, which is common in a lot of relationships where he thinks he can do better than you. Hurtful. But if you work the Ungettable to become the best version of yourself, and use social media, mutual friends and show him what hes lost while he was giving his attention else where you will see he will regret his decision before long. But it does mean that you follow a No Contact of 45 days and work on yourself in that time. Get to reading and show him what hes lost

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