Today we’re going to talk about the stages of your ex’s rebound relationship and when you can expect a rebound relationship to fail.
What’s fascinating about this topic is that everyone seems to have a different idea of when a rebound relationship will fail.
Some say that 90% fail within the first month; others say 90% will fail within three months. Yet others say that 60% will fail in three months’ time…
I’ve found that the truth is none of those things.
In all there are 7 complete stages that you can expect your exes rebound relationship to go through.
- The Grass Is Greener Stage
- The Honeymoon Period Stage
- The Cracks Begin To Form Stage
- The Fight or Flight Stage
- The Comparison Stage
- The Disillusionment Stage
- The Epiphany Stage
But first let’s tackle when we can expect a rebound relationship to fail.
When Can We Expect Your Exes Rebound Relationship To Fail?
As I said above, there are lots of resources you can find on the internet about how long rebound relationships last, and many of my peers make ridiculous claims without any proof to back them up.
I checked out their claims, looking for the research behind them.
I didn’t find it.
But that’s when I had a bright idea.
What If I simply spent a weekend compiling research of my own to come up with my own findings?
So I went through different online forums, looked at my own successes, failures and records to get an idea of when people’s rebound relationships were failing, from their own mouths.
What I found was interesting.
I want to preface this by saying that most times when scientists perform studies like this, they like to have a sample size of about 10,000 people to draw from.
The bigger the sample size, the more accurate the results will be.
I didn’t have that many people.
I found about 100 people with concrete data on how long their ex’s rebound relationship (or their own) lasted.
This is data I trust, because it comes from clients I have worked with, and members of our 3,000+ member community.
So what did they say?
Turns out the average rebound relationship will last 5.2 months.
That answer feels right to me based on my years of experience with clients who have worked on winning their exes back despite there being another woman (or man) in the picture.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizOf course, this is just an average, and rebound relationships can be much shorter. But we do usually say, once it’s been eight months or more, you are looking at something more serious.
So we have our answer to the first question, but for me, the more interesting question is, what does that relationship and its eventual end look like?
I started asking more questions of people and found there are seven patterns or seven phases to a rebound relationship.
Stage One: The Grass Is Greener Stage
The interdependence theory teaches us that human beings make commitment decisions based on three criteria.
- How Satisfied They Are
- If They Believe There Is A Better Alternative Out There
- How Much They Have Invested Into The Relationship
The grass is greener stage primarily focuses on if your ex believes there was a better alternative out there for them.
You see, the harsh truth is that if you want to gain a wholistic perspective on the stages of rebound relationships we must first start by taking a look at your ex when they were still in a relationship with you.
Our research has indicated that in half of the “other woman” cases we encounter they begin priming those relationships during their current relationship with you.
What does this tell us.
Well, it tells us that at some point during their relationship with you they begin to think that they can do better than you.
They think the grass is greener on the other side.
Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t.
Usually it isn’t but as you’re about to find out it usually takes a bit for them to realize that.
Stage Two: The Honeymoon Period
Expect this phase to last about one month in a rebound relationship.
The honeymoon period is where your ex and the person he or she is with are having fun. The new person can do no wrong. They look at them as the epitome of everything they’ve ever wanted in a partner.
It’s the first flush of love, where everything is new and shiny.
There’s not much you can do during this period; trying to get your ex back right now will most likely backfire as they are enjoying this honeymoon phase.
But often, your ex has jumped into something new with someone to replace that feeling of being in a real relationship with you.
This often happens soon after the breakup. A great sign that a relationship is a rebound relationship is that it begins only days or up to a few weeks after a breakup.
Your ex can’t deal with their feelings about the breakup and their lingering feelings for you, and so try to soothe themselves by concentrating on the next best thing.
This is often the first person who comes along, and this person is rarely a great fit for them.
During this first phase, an ex will typically post ‘happy couple’ type content on social media.
This hurts. So don’t look at their social media and don’t stalk the new person. Keep yourself busy being awesome, and remember that social media does not tell the whole story.
In fact, the more they show off their new relationship, the more you can think to yourself…who are they trying to convince? Themselves? You, their ex? The new person?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThis is especially true if they are not usually the type to post lots of loved-up content for all to see.
Be reassured that the faster they move and the more deliriously happy they seem, the more this relationship is a rebound.
But if you see them flaunting this new relationship on social media, of course it will make you feel bad, and you’ll be afraid that this new relationship is really serious.
But don’t worry. Trouble is on the horizon.
Stage Three: The Cracks Begin To Form
So, where phase one was all sunshine and rainbows, phase two is where you start to see the cracks beginning to form.
You can expect this phase to last about two to three months.
How do you know these cracks are beginning to form?
It’s very likely that the beginning of the end comes when they have their first fight.
This can be over something apparently trivial like one partner often being late, or a throwaway comment that isn’t appreciated by the other.
As they get to know each other better, they will inevitably find out things they don’t like about each other. The hastily-entered relationship will begin to falter.
You might not be in a position to see this first-hand, but you might notice a drop-off in the happy social media posts, or hear via mutual friends that things are not all rosy.
In my own first relationship, the honeymoon period lasted exactly one month to the day.
Things began to seem different when we had our first argument, which was about her hanging out with another guy without telling me she was doing so.
She later had a sleepover at his house with her friends.
I’m sure you can agree, that’s not exactly a thing that most guys would be okay with.
What’s interesting is that from that moment on, the whole mood changed. The cracks had begun to form in the foundations of our relationship.
We began to fight a little more frequently, which of course led to phase three…
Stage Four: Fight Or Flight
You can expect this phase to last probably around a month.
So how does this happen?
We talked in the last phase about the cracks beginning to form.
When things get difficult, what tends to happen is one of two things – a partner will either fight or flight.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizI chose the fight option in that first relationship of mine. I was really upset that she’d stayed over at this guy’s house. Even though it was with friends, I still felt uncomfortable about it.
Could I have done a better job at communicating my feelings? Absolutely. But I was young and inexperienced and when emotions run high, logic runs low.
So we began to fight more.
But what’s interesting is that not everyone will fight.
Some people will ‘flight’ – they will run away and avoid the problem.
You might notice your ex is a little less responsive. Something seems to be bothering him or her, but when you ask them what’s going on, they’re not very forthcoming about their emotions.
They seem to be deep in thought, considering whether they want to be in their relationship or not. This is someone who’s taken the flight option.
If you’re not really in contact with them, you might again notice a downturn in the positive social media posts and check-ins. You might hear less than positive things on the grapevine.
They are pulling away from their current partner, wanting to avoid fights. They aren’t communicating properly with them, and resentment is building.
This is where they realize that their rebound relationship is not perfect, and begin to think about whether it’s the right option for them or not.
Of course, you know that the right option is you. At this point, you need to make sure you are creating a new narrative about yourself, and that your ex can see it.
Post fun new things on social media – there’s a 90% chance he’ll creep on it (this is scientifically proven). If you see him, show him the best positive you that you can be.
You want him to start to think about the happy memories you have together.
As I said before, you might not be in a position to observe how your ex seems to be feeling in any of these stages. You simply have to hang in there and wait for a sign, or (hopefully) the end of the relationship.
Stage Five: The Comparison Stage
Here is when the true comparisons begin between you and their current relationship.
What I find super fascinating about this is that it’s essentially another version of the grass is greener stage except instead of comparing the new person to you they are comparing you to the new person.
We all want to believe we don’t make mistakes when it comes to our ability to choose partners.
It’s easy to sit there and say “I made the right decision” when you are riding high on the hog via the honeymoon period.
But what about now.
What about when that high wears off.
This is when the true comparisons begin and often they lead to a realization that a mistake “may” have been made.
Stage Six: The Disillusionment Stage
And so we get to the disillusionment stage.
If you aren’t familiar one who is disillusioned is one who has a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as it was perceived.
That pretty much sums up this stage to a T.
It’s a recognition that you might have messed up.
You don’t do anything about it yet but you do acknowledge the fact that this new person isn’t filling the void that you thought they would.
And I think that’s an often undervalued aspect of rebounds. A huge reason for why people tend to favor them is so they don’t have to face the consequences of dealing with their grief for the original breakup.
The hope is that you can string together so many rebound relationships that the pain saturates so much that you don’t even remember you were in pain in the first place.
The disillusionment stage marks the first time that you recognize you might have to face the pain and own up to the fact that you made a mistake.
Of course, next comes the inevitable epiphany.
Stage Seven: The Epiphany
This phase is the end. One or both of the people in the rebound relationship have that ultimate epiphany where they realize that they don’t want to be in the relationship any more.
There’s no real timeframe for this. Basically when they have this epiphany that’s it, they will end the relationship.
So what is an epiphany in this context?
Well, it’s an ‘Aha moment’, where they come to the realization that they really don’t want to be with the other person, and that changes their behavior, and how they look at this relationship.
A fight can trigger this realization. A simple irritation at something a partner does can set it off. You being the Ungettable Girl can do it.
If he’s starting to think, “You know what, this was a nice fling but it’s not what I really want”, you have a better chance of showing him you are what he really wants.
So it’s no longer sunshine and butterflies, happiness and fluffy clouds. Dark days are on the horizon.
They have realized that it takes more to stay with this person than not be with them.
Now this is true for any relationship. Relationships, especially romantic ones, take hard work. The payoff can be great, but you have to be ready to invest a lot in each other.
Rebound relationships are built on a weaker foundation. They have usually progressed too quickly, the partner has been chosen to buffer to your ex’s sore heart, and maybe your ex isn’t quite over his or her feelings for you.
Thus the rebound type of relationship is more likely to fail, because the initial solid investment isn’t there.
So take heart.
Those are the four main phases that your ex will go through in a rebound relationship. Sometimes it will be the person they’re with, sometimes it will be the ex themselves who moves through all these phases.
The phases stay relatively the same because by nature rebounds are the shortest relationships anyone can go through.
What Do You Do If Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship?
My first piece of advice is to take the quiz right here on the website, which includes questions about your ex seeing other people. Then we can get you started on exactly what you should be doing, assuming you do want your ex back.
I also have a lot of resources on how to deal with an ex who is in a rebound relationship, and the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro program goes into lots of detail on this.
You could start with this article: Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship.
And if you leave me a comment below, my team and I will always do our best to answer you.
This is one of the toughest situations to deal with, but my clients have lots of success stories of getting back with their ex despite there being another person on the scene.
There is hope.
Hang in there.
sarah brown
May 22, 2022 at 10:10 am
my x moved in with someone 3 days after we broke up i didnt find out till 3 weeks later ,i figured it out on my own. he still has everything here in my house. we were talking almost everyday and hanging out till i founf out the truth. thats when he said he didnt love me anymore and didnt want to get back together. i stop talking to him now we were together for 6 years we both thought we were soul mates. now what do i do im so confused
Bewildered
April 25, 2022 at 9:46 am
I enjoyed reading this article.
Would these phases be the same if the ex and the new woman have moved in together and engaged in less than 2 months after our relationship started to really struggle? Our relationship wasn’t actually properly over
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 26, 2022 at 8:57 pm
Hey there so yes similar could happen but it will be slower if he is being distracted by another person – as for them moving in together and getting engaged within two months of your break up – was he seeing both of you the same time or is this a new person completely?
Lauren
February 10, 2022 at 2:52 pm
Hi,
My ex broke up with me on the 6th of Jan, I noticed throughout December he was becoming close to a work colleague. She broke up with her boyfriend around the same time as he broke up with me, weird. Throughout January they were going on nights out together etc and I think they’re now seeing each other. It all seems to be moving very fast and she looks completely different to me, different hair colour and dress sense. Is this a rebound? My ex is very mentally unstable since our break up and it seems that he’s depending on her for emotional support.
Sarah Dixon
December 18, 2021 at 10:24 am
My ex of 6 years has literally ‘replaced me’, he blocked me, for what I see as no other reason than guilt and not wanting reminders of me. He tore me apart with very nasty comments about how I failed, he was jealous of my son too, he’s a great kid btw. I have brought him up very well. He has also made himself appear to others a victim. All of which I’m astounded by and can’t get my head around as I did and gave so much. These are the things that’s hurting me. Is he in a rebound relationship? Why would he behave in such an awful way? I know I’m better without him, I just can’t understand….
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2021 at 12:00 am
Hi Sarah, yes it does sound as if he is in a rebound relationship however you do need to complete a 45 day no contact, read and understand the being there method before you start reaching out to your ex if you choose to try and get him back.
Nicole
July 6, 2021 at 2:29 pm
My ex broke up with me after 13 years married 14 together.and 2 children (9 and 12) He started resleeping with me 6 months later. This went on for 3 months then he was like nope I’m done. About End of Jan/Feb he has met someone new, she has paid his debts, moved in to my old house and my son calls her mum. He even took her home to meet his parents . He has not acknowledged any wrong doing, he turned nasty and cruel with threats and blackmail. He is doing everything with and for this woman I wanted him and us to do. Apparently they are getting married after like 3-4 months together( they had only been together 2-3 months when it was said they were getting married) We never fought, I thought we were happy. I have no idea what to do!
Metasebiya Kidane
June 20, 2021 at 1:43 am
My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago & after 3 days of breaking up with me he start seeing this girl I saw her sitting with him in our apartment & he was sleeping with her on my bed. We used to be so in love but things changed, I am a clean freak & he doesn’t care about being clean , he works labor job he always come home hurting. I wasn’t happy so I kissed my ex & i knew what I did was wrong so I told him. I told him we should break up cause things won’t be the same , he said to try & fix it so stayed together. I tell him to save up go to trading school and get a better job cause that’s where he wants to go . The last time I talked to him he said I pushed him hard & he doesn’t feel himself when he’s around me. I am a Christian & he’s a heathen. When we first met he said he doesn’t want to ruin what we have cause of religion so he asked me to give him time & convert to my religion. Now he said he can’t even practice his religion because of me. He said he doesn’t know what he wants & he only living one day at a time. He said he doesn’t love her not even close. When I asked if he still have feelings for me he said he isn’t in love with me anymore. I asked when he lost feelings for me he said after I cheated on him. He said we won’t be together, “we both will find happiness but not together. Then he changed his status to relationship with the new girl. And he unfriended me on social media. We agreed to be friends but he unfriended me. I feel like he was talking to her while we were together . Our last fight was I asked him to move to where I live after I graduated. He said he doesn’t want to because his friends & families are where we currently live at. The he said we both want different things so we should move on. He said to let him go. I found out that He brought her to our apartment and let her sleep on my bed. I am on 5th day of no contact.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 21, 2021 at 4:25 pm
Hi Metasebiya, I am sorry you are going through this right now! I understand how that can be really hard to hear. I would suggest that you stop keeping tabs on what he is doing with the OW and where they go etc, especially in the apartment as while it hurts, he is free to do as he pleases. You need to stop asking your friends about him, or tell them to stop giving you this information too. You would need to start following a 45 day no contact for the time being.
Lindsey
June 19, 2021 at 12:03 am
A guy from my inner circle started pursuing me by texting me, this went on for several months. We would see each other out about once a week and would always find a way to speak to each other. Finally I asked him to come help me with some things around my house, after that we were both finding reasons to see each other and the texting got alot more flirtatious. There was definitely a strong attraction there but I had my reservations because I am 10 years older than him . I told him that maybe we should stay friends but he kept texting me and asking me to go on a date with him. I entertained the idea and kept flirting but the age difference kept bothering me so I told him again that I really liked him but we should probably stay friends. I regretted my decision right away because I was no longer getting texts every day and I really missed him. I started to reach out to him but I could tell that he was trying to avoid me. He no longer showed up to the places I would be and he even ghosted me a few times. Well now 6 weeks later he is in a full relationship, I feel like he moved on the same day I said we should just be friends. He has been taking new girl around our inner circle and made their relationship official on FB. He’s also been posting pics of her and them together and saying they love each other in the public comments. We have both been single a long time and are ready for a real relationship. I don’t know if I should just let him be happy. I’m really confused how he could be so in to me and then on to the next the same day
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 21, 2021 at 4:43 pm
Hi Lindsey, it sounds as if you are missing the attention rather than wanting to be with the guy. I would say this is normal reaction when someone moves on to someone else after perusing you. I would suggest that you sit back and observe your feelings before acting on anything.
Louise
May 10, 2021 at 8:19 am
My ex got into a rebound after our 10years relationship. He was just about to end he’s sham of a relationship around the 5 month mark then he discovered he’s rebound is pregnant and now he said he feels trapped in a rebound with a woman he doesn’t love and a baby on the way. It’s so frustrating because he wanted to come back to me and we sorted out problems out whilst he was in hes rebound and now he’s still with her and I’ve cut all contact now. Karma or what!! Pretty devastating to me but suppose it wasn’t meant to be
Abundance
December 28, 2020 at 6:34 pm
My ex recently broke up with me about a month ago. We were together since 2018 of January. I am going to be honest here. I did not do the no contact rule and would send him long messages and call him all the time wanting to talk. He changed his number last week. I found out about his new gf yesterday when I decided to go to his apartment and she was there alone. She told me she’s been his gf for a month and known each other for 3 months. In shock and shattered I did everything your not suppose to do after a break up like went up to his job to speak to him. I did not cause a scene like maniac however I came across this article today and decided to stop talking to him. I’m not sure if there’s still a chance of us of getting back together.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 28, 2020 at 8:19 pm
Hi A, I think you may have overdone things going to his apartment but it does not mean that you cannot follow the program. You firstly need to go into a 45 day no contact where you focus and work on yourself, and then reach out to your ex after your 45 days are up. You are aware of the girlfriend now which means that you need to look up the being there method on this website or on the Youtube channel
Mackenzie
September 30, 2020 at 8:28 pm
I recently completed the EBR Program, including UG. My ex and I started talking consistently at the end of April through mid-August. We were texting an average of every other day with him reaching out more than me. We finally made plans to meet up for a walk with our dogs on 8/16 for the following week (his suggestion). But then I didn’t hear back from him to finalize our plans. Exactly one week later, he posted being in a relationship with some girl (nothing like me). His behavior was completely out of character as he was posting all over the place. From what I have read, everything I can see tells me this is textbook rebound. I immediately went into NC and it’s been exactly 45 days since we texted. Should I reach out using one of Chris’ suggestions or wait for him to contact me? Thank you for your guidance!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 15, 2020 at 5:50 pm
Hi Mackenzie, if you want to start doing the being there method then you would need to reach out to your ex with the texts that Chris suggests, but also make sure you are aware of the being there method too
M
September 22, 2020 at 12:42 am
My ex bf started dating someone else days after our 3 year relationship, which he ended. We talked after a month of no contact and he prefers to continue to explore his new relationship versus trying to work things out with me. Is this a rebound?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 22, 2020 at 11:44 am
It could well be a rebound yes, you need to go back into a no contact after you conversation about getting back together. So follow a 45 day NC while you work on yourself and they pass the honeymoon phase of the new relationship.
Preetika Kaur Narula
August 7, 2020 at 9:14 am
Hi Chris.
I’m having trouble trying to get my ex boyfriend whom I dated for nearly 6 years back.
He quickly moved on to another girl or is pretending to be over me, but the thing is he and this new girl arent dating per say. They’re just having a casual fling. However, the girl is acting super nice to him and hes put her on a pedestal and acting like he rather fight for this girl than fight for the relationship that me and him shared.
Now, I know that this girl is not interested in dating him at all because she talks behind his back to her ex and is constantly messaging her ex that she wants to marry only her ex and not this guy. But, my ex doesnt know this and thinks this girl is perfect.
How do I get him to see reason and win him back from this really terrible two faced girl?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 7, 2020 at 9:58 pm
Hey Preetika, as far as the way the other girl is. There is nothing you can do about it. This is something he is going to have to find out for himself, coming from you it is just going to appear like you are jealous. You need to go into a 45 day no contact and work on yourself in that time, then when that is over you start the being there method
John
July 23, 2020 at 12:44 am
Hi,
My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me after we grew a little too complacent and she grew restless/wanted something more exciting and short-term. We both still said we love each other even as we broke up (but she said she’s just not attracted to me anymore, which I tried to tell her is something that often fluctuates).
She ended up leaving me for a guy on a motorcycle who had been coming into her work. The guy seems decent enough, good family, likes the outdoors, they do fun stuff together. Possibly a little jealous though, not sure.. I took the breakup respectfully in spite of all this (I just think she has made an immature mistake) and have entered no contact for about a month, so far. I am going to continue NC for at least another month or two until their honeymoon phase (hopefully) begins to fade.
They post a lot of pictures on social media, especially the guy. My ex had never been a big “lovey” poster, she only ever posted one pic of us together (same as I of her), but less than a month in she had already posted a pic of him. They spend a LOT of time together and with his large family. I discovered she had already had dinner with his family a few days after our breakup. Seems they are moving fast.
I guess my question is, do you think this relationship is a rebound (even though I assume they had talked for a couple/several months and she had him lined up when she broke up with me)? Is it likely this will follow the same pattern as a rebound and is it worth holding out hope to win her back? There is likely much more that could be said, but that about sums it up. Hope to hear back. Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 11, 2020 at 8:13 pm
Hi John, we suggest that you start reaching out after 45 days of NC you do not want to leave things too long. And you also need to read about the being there method too. IF she was talking to him before you broke up and emotionally cheating, then she would have what we call grass is greener syndrome, similar to a rebound. They believe all is great between them and their relationship is perfect. But as they get to know each other the cracks will form just as fast. I would suggest that you for now, follow the advice about being an Ungettable guy. You know what she fell for when she met you, work on those factors and show that your social media is just as happy and confident guy who is enjoying his life without his ex. It may take time, but she will get curious
Kc
July 8, 2020 at 5:02 am
Hey Chris,
My ex gf and I were together 4 years before I caught her red handed cheating on me with a much older guy (twice her age). To add insult to injury, she ditched me on NYE to hang out with him (she told me she was working an event).
We worked things out… she confessed her undying love for me and I was beginning to forgive her. Fast forward 6 months, we break up as she says “I love you but I’m not in love with you”. I feel the same way, as I feel she lacks direction (in college 5 years no graduation date, no job, no income).
I find out 2 weeks after we break up that she went to Florida with the guy she cheated on me with! I lost it and yelled at her called her names, I’m usually pretty chill but this put me over the edge.
She says she didn’t leave me for him and that they aren’t official and she is “openly dating atm”. But she’s been posting all the loved up pics on IG.
I put her on indefinite no contact which I know is driving her crazy (been 2 weeks). I know this rebound will crash and burn hard but it stings that she went back to the dude (creepy old rich dude) that she cheated on me with!
I’m moving forward with my life, lots of great things for me coming up but am I making the right move here?
What do you suggest?
Thanks Chris you are the man
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 25, 2020 at 3:04 pm
Hi KC, I may not be Chris but 100% yes you are doing the right thing to be moving on with your life! You need to work on yourself for a little while and get over the betrayal so that you do not carry this into your future relationships. Understand that it was her who did wrong, and you did nothing to deserve it. The fact that she went back to him shows that he is the backup plan so know that you are right and this will fall apart for her at some point. I hope you find the strength to come out of this happier and a INC is definitely the way forward
Josie Smith
June 28, 2020 at 5:58 pm
My boyfriend ended our relationship last month and already started seeing someone on the 18th of this month. They dont have pictures together which i find wierd because we had pictures the first week we dated. She has emojis of a ring and hearts and says taken by his name on SM. But his has like nothing. Just in his bio on fb says “kept in check by her name” and thats it. Which i looked up means someone helping with your emotions. I found this out by a friend i never talk to much and she just texted me and so i looked which i know i shouldn’t have. I’m on 28/45 NC. And of yesterday he liked one of my posts on SM. I hate his mixed signals. Could this be a rebound relationship? I have a feeling they are just trying to make me jealous.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm
Hey Josie, I wouldnt say he is giving you mixed signals if he only liked a photo on social media. I would also say that even though social media is a very large part of peoples lives, try to avoid using this as a way to understand what he has going on, we choose what we let people to see online. You not reacting to anything he does is best. And stick with your NC. With how he moved on quickly yes it does seem that this could be a rebound relationship, just keep to the program and focus on yourself for the time being
M
May 31, 2020 at 10:46 pm
My ex gf and I dated previous for 2 years. I broke up with her because I wasn’t in the right spot in my life. I dated but stayed single she got into a relationship that lasted 8 months. I reached out at 8 months seeing hope she was and wanted to see her she agreed but would brush me off. ii finally said fuck the mixed signals went on a vaca and ignored the breadcrumbs. Finally I answered her call. (She fought her whole relationship knowing she wasn’t over me so she left her.) We agreed to hang when I was back. We were together working on our issues knowing the end goal is to be together Everything was going great for 3 months. Then she got distant and met someone and I caught her emotionally cheating. She apologized up and down I said I needed time and space. Three days later after being caught she hung out with her. After a couple fights and her not giving a fuck I ended it. She apologized after I ended it but I ignored it. Didn’t talk for 6 days. She texts me saying she needs time and she keeps running to drugs. She has bipolar so I was sending loving comforting messages thinking maybe she’s just doing through a depressed time. Find out they are still hanging out & she doesn’t answer any of my texts. Told her to never speak to me again and she’s blocked forever. This was everything she wanted which is why I came back. Why is she doing this? Is this a rebound?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 13, 2020 at 10:22 am
Hey M, I would say that the up and down is due to the bipolar and if she is using drugs on top she is not going to be in a good place, especially on the low days. I would suggest that you allow her some time with out you. At least 45 days, during which you can only hope that she stops going to drugs and seeks some real medical help through a doctor.
B
May 23, 2020 at 4:12 pm
I did 30 days NC but couple of weeks later he’s seeing someone else, removed me on all social media and doesn’t wan’t to speak to me! Do I still have a chance? We were getting on great after NC and speaking regularly (always me who initiated it though) We had a two and a half year relationship but this is the second breakup, and we’re due to swap belongings any day now.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 29, 2020 at 3:16 pm
Hey B, yes you still have a chance, stick with the program, you are going to have to go into a second no contact for 45 days and read about the being there method
RJ
May 4, 2020 at 1:14 pm
My ex broke up with me after 8 months, there were no warning signs other than he mentioned his ex a lot and how bad she was, we met each other’s family and friends and all got along swimmingly.
Since the breakup I am now 2 weeks into no contact and have heard nothing, just before I found out he reached out to my best friend apologising for not being in contact (they met twice!) and then it turns into them both sending what I can only interpret into flirty messages
1. Could I have been the rebound
2. What do I make of the contact
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 6, 2020 at 8:27 pm
Hi RJ how long was his relationship with his ex before you? If it was a long term relationship there is a slight chance you were a rebound but not 100%. As for him reaching out to your, friend, I would say that he is doing one of two things, checking with your friend for intel about you, or he’s looking a distraction from dealing with a break up. Which is in the wrong place. Either way don’t react to them speaking but be mindful if your friend crosses a line
Liz
February 10, 2020 at 5:53 pm
My ex and I were together for 5 months. We got on really well but I could tell he was holding back. He ended things saying he didnt feel he could commit to me in the way I wanted and we were very different people. He said although we had a lot in common there just wasn’t enough there to make it work. He just wasn’t feeling it. We broke up on 1st December. I went into NC. Didnt argue beg, cry or anything. He texted me on Christmas Day to wish me a lovely Christmas but nothing since and I haven’t texted him. After reading this article though I am now worried that our relationship was the rebound Will he come back do you think?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 11, 2020 at 11:20 pm
Hi Liz, what makes you think it was a rebound? Was he recently out of a relationship before you? If you are working on yourself to become the Ungettable Girl and showing this on social media, then when you have not spoken for 30 days minimum, you can reach out with the type of text that Chris suggests to open the window of conversation and try to re build your connection that way. However, if he said that you want different things from the relationship assess if you do want the same things from a relationship.
Cam
January 14, 2020 at 6:40 pm
My ex of 4 months broke up with me about a week in a half ago. He said that he liked me but didn’t love me. Then I found out he had got back on Tinder and started talking to someone from his past. He tends to be looking for love at 4 month mark, apparently he believes you can fall in love that fast. I know this girl is probably the rebound, but it’s hard to see if it is or not. I am focused on my trinity right now, but its even harder to make him see how I’m doing if he has no social media.