Let me preface this entire article with my cousin’s breakup story, since it totally relates to the topic at hand.

My cousin, who I’ll refer to as Monica* because I want to protect her identity but also because I’m currently watching FRIENDS as I write this article, broke up with her boyfriend in mid-March. Actually, she and her boyfriend broke up two weeks before my boyfriend broke up with me, which is the weirdest coincidence to me. We both went through our stages of grief, but while I found Ex-Boyfriend Recovery to help me through my process, Monica had no clue about the website, the books, or the Facebook group. She basically was on her own with her breakup process.

About three months after her ex ended things with her, she found herself in a precarious situation. Her boyfriend – well, ex-boyfriend at this point – became interested in another girl. To make things a little more complicated, they all worked together in the same company – Monica, her ex, and the girl he liked. Although they were all in different departments, their paths crossed often.

Of course Monica wanted her ex back. She actually called him the next day after their breakup to beg for him back.

But of course, we all know that that doesn’t work.

So, in between the breakup and finding out the terrible news, Monica struggled with how to deal with the breakup and having to work with her ex and not being able to execute No Contact with him because he kept initiating conversations with her through text and phone calls. Then, this new girl came.

“What the hell? What do I do now?!”

That was a question that plagued Monica’s mind and she had to endure it for a whole month.

She heard rumors about her ex and a new girl. She had to see subtle hints of flirting between her ex and the new girl while she passed them at work. She dealt with her ex texting her all the time. She saw pictures of him at a dinner with her on Instagram. She had to deal with her feelings, confused over what he wanted and how she should approach.

Ultimately, Monica decided not to do anything about it. Although she initially wanted him back, she decided it was better for her not to entertain him and ask for him back.

She filled me in on what happened next.

Her ex began dating the new girl but also quit the job he was in. Monica felt a sense of relief when he did, because she wouldn’t be exposed to him and her everyday.

The texts between Monica and her ex started to decline.

While the end of Monica’s story is not the best scenario for this case, the choice was hers to make. Even though she chose not to take him back, because she was ready to move on from him, I personally think that she could’ve easily had him back if she wanted.

How is that possible?

Well, looking at how Monica handled this situation, I think Ex Recovery Pro definitely would’ve helped her out a lot.

Aside from that one time after their breakup, Monica didn’t repeatedly ask for her ex back. Even when she’d heard rumors of another girl catching his attention, she did not force an ultimatum of “her or me” down his throat. She let the situation ride its course, choosing to instead focus on herself and her self-growth. She implemented her own style of the “Being There” strategy by playing up her Instagram. Lastly, Monica did not attack the other girl. She held herself with class and dignity, which drove her ex even more insane, leaving him wondering,

“Why isn’t she reacting?”

See, I think those are the key elements in getting back what’s yours. I’ve seen way too many episodes of teen drama shows to know that scheming your way back into your ex-boyfriend’s life doesn’t make him stay for the long run – if he hadn’t already started running in the first place.

If you want to win your ex back from another girl, you’re gonna have to win him back with a class act.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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He’s Not Your Boyfriend Anymore

It’s harsh and mean, but it’s the basic truth. Your ex is not your boyfriend anymore as much as you aren’t his girlfriend anymore. You both broke up with each other and there’s hardly much you can do about it. I know – rude. But the truth hurts.

Another truth? Just because he’s your not your boyfriend anymore, doesn’t mean he can’t be your boyfriend again.

Bet you like this truth better, don’t ya?

There is something that Chris mentions in the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Pro book that really struck a chord with me personally.

Basically, he said that even though you are no longer with your ex, you do have the upper hand when it comes to other women. Why? Because you know him better than other women. You’ve dated him long enough to know what gets him off, what gets him angry, and what gets him excited. You know the ins and outs of who he is.

Use it to your advantage.

If you know when you were dating your ex that he complained about how much his ex before you kept messaging him to get back together – then don’t do it to him.

None of us here at Ex Recover would suggest that anyways.

If you know he hates constant messages alerting him of your presence and your remaining feelings for him. Quit it.

Dial Back the “I Want You Back” Talk

Like I said, if you know this kind of behavior your ex doesn’t like, do the exact opposite. So if you know that your ex would hate it, especially if he’s already told you to stop, then you know already what to do.

Just stop.

Especially if there is another girl in the picture, it’s not gonna do you any good to beg for his affection. Even if there weren’t another girl in the picture, it’s not a cute look on anyone`, sweetheart. Please don’t do it.

If you beg…

“I want you back, please take me back!”

He’ll probably think you’re just saying that because there is a new girl in the picture. He might get the idea that you’re doing this is a final act of desperation, and you can’t let him think that about you. You want to be the girl that he chooses over the new one, obviously. So instead of saying something that pushes him away, say something that could draw him back in.

You Are Just Not That Into Him

Something I didn’t let you in on with Monica’s story is that about a few weeks into her ex getting to know the new girl, Monica and her ex were texting again.

It was like they were dating again. They were texting from morning to night, talking about their days. He even asked her to dinner for his birthday. It sent a confusing message to Monica, who already knew about the other girl. After a while of this, she decided to let her ex know straight up that she didn’t think it was a good idea to get back together. He had seem to keep her on the backburner while pursuing new opportunities and she wasn’t comfortable with that. So, she told him, “I think you should focus on the new girl. Stop texting me.”

Can you guess what happened next?

He didn’t stop texting. For whatever reason, Monica’s ex kept pursuing their friendship even though he was casually dating the new girl.

Weird, right?

Monica and I concluded that he could have been affected by her strong “No” that it attracted him more.

It’s been proven that this tactic works – most of the time (I had to add that disclaimer in.) Several of the ladies I normally talk to in the EBR group have shared with me that once they hit their exes with the “Stop texting me” text, their attraction began to grow. And this type of text can be any of the following:

“I don’t like you like that anymore.”

“I don’t want you back.”

“I don’t have those kinds of feelings for you anymore.”

Or any variation of these. Now be warned that using these statements as a tactic when you don’t mean it causes a lot of pain and can be a shot in the dark because some exes can just take the hint and pursue the other girl.

But if you know there is a sliver of a chance that this will drive your exboyfriend back to you, just like it did a number on Monica’s ex. It’s as if they hear or read those words and a magical switch in their brain turns on and shifts their attention back to you.

It is a powerful tool to utilize, but you have to be confident in yourself to use it. Use it with conviction and it’ll get the gears in his mind going,

“She doesn’t want me back? Why?”

And then he’ll do everything in his power to find out why.

Don’t Start a Girl Fight

One of my favorite shows when I was younger was Gossip Girl, and my favorite character in it show is Blair Waldorf. She is poised and power-hungry, but also clever and can be classy – at times. What I love about her is that while she’s supposed to be a sophisticated socialite in the Upper East Side, she’s so flawed that she teetering the line of being “crazy.”

See, this girl fights dirty. If there is another girl vying for the affections of her boyfriend, current or not, Blair is taking that girl down. She uses her Upper East Side street smarts to manipulate, provoke, or attack her competition so she’s the only one in the running.

Don’t Be Blaire

She’s my favorite character, yes. But is she a role model? Nope.

Remember the first boldfaced header in this article: He is not your boyfriend anymore. Yes, you had the previous claim on him, but you’re not together right now. And you verbally or physically attacking the new girl isn’t going to get you back together, either. That kind of behavior should only stay in reality shows and teen dramas.

You don’t need to go pulling the other girl’s hair or calling her a “nasty skank bitch” to get your ex to revert back into a relationship with you. Keep it classy. As much as it hurts or irritates you, focus that energy on something else than calling out the new girl.

For Monica, she didn’t even want see the new girl, let alone talk bad about her. Whenever I met with Monica to vent out our breakup frustrations, all the time the new girl popped up in the conversation, she never once had a mean thing to say about her. She never called her “that slut”, or “bitch”, or “man stealer.” None of that. She just simply talked about the situation and moved on.

I would advise the same for you. The less messy the situation can be, the better the turnout can be for you. You don’t want to be the “crazy” ex-girlfriend he tells his friends about, attacking girls he’s not even dating yet.

Keep your cool, darling, and learn how to fight dirty subtly.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Be There

But not in a creepy Fatal Attraction way. More like, “make him feel your presence without being a stalker” kind of way. You can do this in so many ways without creeping on your ex and the new girl. One of your best tools is your favorite app, girl. Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter – girl, you got it down.

Let me tell you, if you strengthen your social media game, your “Being There” game will also be strengthened. It’s also a way to keep it classy and to fight without really fighting. When you’re “being there”, you’re strategically placing yourself in your ex’s line of vision.

Whenever you post a cute selfie, snap your night out, or even check in at cool new brunch place with your friends – it shows that you’re living your life without him. If you’re smiling and having fun, then it adds more to the attraction factor back to you. It works even better when you have one or two guy friends in the picture.

It worked for Monica in her situation. She and her ex had still been following each other on Instagram. Monica wasn’t so big on posting pictures and videos on her actual account, but she used her Instagram Stories to her advantage.

If you’re not familiar, Instagram Stories works like Snapchat, where you can share short videos and pics that can be viewed by your followers for twenty-four hours only before it disappears.
Monica used Instagram Stories to document her activities throughout the day – pictures of her morning coffee, a short video of a boring meeting at work, a lunch-time picture, a gym selfie, and winding down at the beach with a book to read.

All of those things were pretty mundane activities, but they were enough for her ex-boyfriend to keep an eye on her. Oh! Did I forget to mention that you can see a list of people who view your Instagram Stories? Basically, you can see who is creeping on your life.

And Monica’s ex was creeping on hers.

Social media is a strong tool to have at your disposal in this day and age because everyone has it. And everyone, even if they don’t outwardly admit it, always checks their social media. Your ex doesn’t use social media? That doesn’t mean he doesn’t know any of yours and can’t check up on you.

Here’s another twist to that story: Monica’s ex had an Instagram, but hardly used it. After Monica told him that she didn’t want to get back together with him, her ex was suddenly active on Instagram. He always liked her pictures, watched all of her daily Instagram Stories, and even posted one of his own in the hopes that she’d watch them.

Bottom line: Use any and all social media you can to command the attention of your ex. The more he sees of you, especially of you being happy, the more he sees what he’s missing.

Do You, Girl!

Just like with the “Being There” strategy, use your happiness as your strongest weapon. I know you might be suffering right now. But trust me, you’re gonna be happy again. And when your ex sees you thriving in your happiness, he might rethink his actions over again and change his mind back to you. Even if you have to fake it till you make it, seeing you be happy is something your ex might not exactly expect. Also, chances are, this new girl is a rebound anyway, so yeah, make him jealous with your happiness.

So don’t let them get to you. Just keep smiling, be happy, and do you, girl.

Just because there is a new girl in the picture, it doesn’t spell out the end for your chances with your ex. Look at Monica’s case.

Monica was able to find some inner peace with the situation, even if she didn’t choose to take her ex back. She didn’t get herself entangled in a situation of an awkward love triangle that ended in high school drama. She didn’t pin herself as the “crazy ex”, nor saw her ex’s new girl as competition. She just established herself as a strong, classy woman by taking the high road and deciding to fight dirty in other ways. Instead of throwing out insults to her ex and his new girl, she instead showed off her happiness through her social media and just worried about making herself better.

And you can do these things, too! Keep your chin up, keep your social media game strong, and always remember to keep it classy!

What to Read Next

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31 thoughts on “I Think My Ex Likes Another Girl What Do I Do”

  1. Avatar

    C

    March 29, 2020 at 11:43 am

    Hi! So after my ex and I had been together for a while, I found out something about his past. The woman he “dated” before me turned out to be married woman. I never judged him on that fact and he assured me that is was over and done with.
    Fast forward to now, we are no longer together, but we are back in contact with each other. I have done everything by the book. I found out last night through social media that he in back in contact with the ex prior to me as well (she is still married).
    While I may not have any say over what he does anymore, the fact that it’s her bothers me. He knows it’s a wrong choice, but I’m sure the need of validation or familiarity reigns supreme over logic. Do I allow this to continue to happen? Say nothing and just carry on? I mean, I don’t wish to look needy or nuts here, but there’s a big part of me that’s screaming to give that ultimatum. Her or me. Or I will walk away willingly if he wishes to continue on with her. I literally just got done using a line on here about not wanting to jump into anything with him both feet and then this happens. Help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 6, 2020 at 10:56 pm

      Hi C, there is no way that conversation will end well for you. If you want to get back with your ex then you need to follow the program. If he chooses to be in contact with this woman then that is on him. However if you are going to be in a relationship then you need to find a way to bring the subject up when things are strong and good between you, without sounding as if you are accusing him of doing more than just talking to her.

  2. Avatar

    Ro

    August 10, 2019 at 8:01 am

    Hi,

    I was with my ex for 6years, it’s now been 3 months since he broke up with me. He said he wanted space, he needed to find himself, and he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore if not with me definitely not with anyone else.

    I have gone through about 2 months ago my 20 days NC, we’ve been texting since the NC finished, but we almost text every other week, I’ve seen him 3times now since.

    Last night, he asked me to the cinema, and I said yes (as friends of course) then we had dinner then ended in the bar. I had a little bit more than I could drink, and we talked about s few things, it was all good until I did this stupid thing which I really regret but I wish I could take it back. He showed me an email he had done for work, and gave me the phone, whilst I was looking at the email, I went onto his WhatsApp in front of him and noticed he had been flirting with other girls! I felt so sad and frustrated because the reason he broke up with me was because he didn’t want a relationship, he even said he can’t even think about getting with anyone right now. I just felt so betrayed even though I knew it’s not my right to tell him what to do anymore. I then did the most stupid thing, after my large glasses of wine, I then showed him and I confronted him about it. I know I shouldn’t have and he got mad at me, he said he wanted us to have a good day as friends, and he was angry that I did that, which I understand but in that moment I just couldn’t control my emotions and had to ask him. Sigh… seems like he is interested and flirting with other girls already, what should I do? We hugged and cried then he left. I really wish I didn’t see his messages. What should I do now? Wait for him to text me? Please help, I still really love and care about him. Please help me.

  3. Avatar

    Stacey

    July 11, 2019 at 10:33 am

    Hi, my ex walked out on me about 3 weeks ago. We were together 5 years, brought a house together and have 2 kids. Today he told me he had been messaging a few girls and it’s breaking my heart and I of course tried to get him back in ways I shouldn’t of. But what can I do I don’t want him to see other girls. I want him back in our family picture but he says he doesn’t have feeling for me anymore. He feel out of love with me. He is civil but is just not interested in me. Is he gone for good?

  4. Avatar

    Marie

    February 20, 2019 at 10:47 pm

    Hey! So my ex broke up with me for second time. We were together for almost 3 years and it wasn’t a bad break ups. I told him that I respect his decision and sent him a love letter to tell him how I feel.
    20 days without no contact and I see him just add this girl from the other side of the world which makes me really jealous! Do I still have a chance to get him back or have he already move on?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:23 am

      Hi Marie….probably best to continue forward with your NC period and implement it the way I teach in my Program as you focus should turn to your personal recovery and being the best “you”. Take the jealousy and toss it away as it is negative emotions that robs you.

  5. Avatar

    Jin

    April 3, 2018 at 5:07 am

    Hi ,i were in a long distance mix culture relationship with my british ex bf.we have been together for one and half year,we visited each other or went to another country together. one month ago he broke up.with me.then he flew to Portugal to try to sleep with another chinese girl.and he made it.after that i started no contact.3 days ago i contacted him .he gave quite positive response .today he wanted to call me. i agreed.then he told me he was in the airport .going to fly to china to meet her new chinese gf which he slept with in Portugal.we talked only 8mins,then i hang up,he wanted to talk longer because he is bored waiting in the airport,but i refused.now i am so frustrated,dont know what i should do during his visit this time.please help me,thank you very much.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 4, 2018 at 1:04 am

      So, we’ve never made it through a full NC at all?

    2. Avatar

      Jin

      April 4, 2018 at 7:44 am

      i did no contact For a month.During NC he called me twice ,i didnt reply.After NC,i talked to him,he said he thought about me a lot,he asked me a lot about my love life.we had good conversation.Three days after i talked to him,this thing happened.He is in china now,i dont know what i should do.should i talk to him during the trip?what should i do when he goes back to UK?thank you very much.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 10:55 pm

      So, basically it’s just turned into a LDR game plan now. Do you need documentation on that?

    4. Avatar

      Jin

      April 6, 2018 at 12:46 pm

      if u mean the EBR Pro,i have already got it.still dont know what exactly i should do in this situation.

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 4:55 am

      You got PRO?

      Are you in our private FB group? I’ll let you in. I want to make it available to all of my purchasers!

    6. Avatar

      Jin

      April 8, 2018 at 12:48 pm

      i did.i bought the basic one.i have no idea how to join your FB group,whats the name of that group?

    7. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 2:21 am

      Hi Jin. Go to my Products Section of website and there is information on how to join the Private FB Group.

  6. Avatar

    Lilly

    January 10, 2018 at 3:06 am

    My ex fiance broke up with me end of November 2017. Then we continously message each other about 2 weeks after. More on apologizing and explaining the reason of the breakup. I begged but he rejected me. Then i started the NC. He messaged me during the holidays and went to my house to bring gifts. So i broke NC up until New Year. He just kept on apologizing for hurting me and tells me that I will thank him in the future (for breaking up with me) because i can find a new, better boyfriend who will love me and never cheat on me. He has been telling me that i was an ideal girlfriend and that any guy would be lucky to have me. I decided to continue again with NC Jan.02 as you have adviced on my comment on a different article. I was both hopeful and sad. Hopeful because i am preparing my self physically and mentally for when i start texting him again. And sad because of what he was saying on his messages, that i can find someone better. He sent me a message, again full of apologies for hurting me, saying that he’s hurt too and that it was for the best. And that he’s sorry because he thought he was ready to marry me. That i just expected for nothing. He gave me the reasons: 1. our relationship is broken, 2. i am not ready to commit, 3. i have fallen out of love – when he broke up with me. Then i received messages from his family saying that they’re worried about him because he’s changed and they think there’s a new girl. He had fights with his parents (his parents wanted him to get back with me) he doesn’t tell his family where he’s going, who he’s with, when will he come back. Which is unlikely of him. He tells them everything. But since the breakup, he became like that: secretive and always offended when asked. I do not know if he’s just irritated by the nagging of his parents about me or if he’s dealing with other problems, or if he just do not want them to know about the girl. Now, his sisters saw him posted a picture of him and a girl on facebook but immediately deleted it. And he’s been spending all his time with this girl, even lying to his family where he is because he knows they do not like the other girl. I can see that the girl’s been loving all his facebook posts since days after we brokeup. Now, i am not sure if he left me for this girl, or if that of they just started dating days after we brokeup. I am hurt because i think my chances of getting back with my ex is really low. They have been flirting for about a month, but they already spent days out of town. I am only on day 9 NC, i’m scared that if i continue to wait until 30, maybe they will be a couple officially by then. I’m so in love with my ex still. I want him back. And willing to do anything.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 10, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      Hi Lilly,

      if he’s dating, she’s probably just a rebound. Focus in yourself because that’s what you can control. Be productive and very active in improving yourself and in posting.. It would be better if you stop talking to his family too. You can politely tell them you’ll need to stop talking to them to heal and hope they understand and thank them for everything because you’re going to look like you’re using them to get him back if he continues to hear from them that you’re talking to his family.

  7. Avatar

    arya

    January 8, 2018 at 8:34 am

    me and my ex broke up and its been 2 months. we had almost 3 years relationship. after we broke up in 2 months, we begin contacted again, meet up, sleep, acted like a partner again. but suddenly he just rubber banding and after 2 weeks no contact on each other, he start dating new girl! is she a rebound? i already unfriended him on instagram so he cant see my post. i just want to make he feels regret about his choice.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 10:05 pm

      Hi Arya,

      She probably is but you have to make your Instagram account public so he can see your posts and just stays and does not disappear.

  8. Avatar

    Lucy

    December 20, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    Hi,

    My ex and I called things off about two weeks ago, today I saw him with his ex before me. We were only together for three months, they were together a lot longer.

    I suspected something was happening so I called it off with him first. I work with him and so there are times I have had to speak to him, not about work things but to stop things being awkward for work colleagues. Which means I feel like I can’t go full no contact in that regard.

    How do I get him back?

    Thanks

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 10:11 pm

  9. Avatar

    Anne

    December 14, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    My ex-boyfriend and I broke up very badly in the start of September. He’s the first love although I had several boyfriend before him, and I’m not used to be broken up with, it uses to be me who breaks the relationship. But not this time so I think I managed it extremely badly. Anyway, after some weeks we began on/off to see eachother and so on, but we kept fighting so I decided to move on in the start of October and we only talked once every 2. Week or so. In the middle of November when we hadn’t talked for like 3 weeks or so he suddenly writes to me on Facebook that he was very sad (he’s 21 and both his parents died in the ending if November for about 5 years ago and I’m the only one who he had ever talked about his parents) and he wanted to talk to me. Before we split apart in September and truly in October we promised to always be there for eachother and support eachother and I still care a lot about him. So I called him and we talked about everything in 6 hours. Including his parents and suddenly he says he misses me and he wonder if I ever think about him and if I miss him too. I felt I was moving on, but his words hit me hard. He asked if I wanted to meet because that would really make him glad (we live about 2-3 hours apart because I moved to study when we had been together for about 1 year and when we broke up I had been living at the new place for about 8 months although I spent my 2 months of summer-break at him because I have a job in the same city). So I came home to him in the weekend after and we talked alot. I told him that i couldn’t go back to him this weekend and then don’t hear from him for several days once again (like our on/off period). He said he would try to commit to get things settled. We agreed that we wouldn’t go back and we would try to get to know eachother in a new way because we have both changed a lot in the past months. And then we slept together stupid as I was. When I went back home to my own pace things was good for 3 days and then it all went back. Before it went back, he said I could live at his place the 2 weeks of my Christmas holiday so I could work hard and earn some money for my university. I gladly said yes thanks and asked my job for a bunch of work hours. And I got like 8-9 hours per day. But after I said yes thanks I didn’t hear anything from him. If I asked him something he answered politely and said that I could still live at his place.. that was about 3 weeks ago. Now I’m sitting in his apartment and im completely lost! I think he’s seeing somebody else but i would really like him back. He don’t know what I know (that he’s seeing this other girl) and I cant tell if he’s simply seeing this girl to get over me or if he really likes he – he haven’t mention anything about her and when he should sleep somewhere else yesterday he said he should sleep at his mate/bros place when my friend tells me he actually shoukd have slept at a girl’s place. But 2 hours after he left the apartment and I still didn’t knew that he was at thus girl’s pace, someone tried to break in at the apartment and I was terrified and called him. He rushed back and he sat up all night to protect me and hug me through my nightmares. He said I was his princess, he would do anything for me and that he loves me. I’m so confused! How the heck should I act for the next 2 weeks? I don’t think he wants to get back together. Shoukd I just be all happy and then implement NC when I leave the town again or WHAT!? I’m sooooo damn confused 🙁

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      Hi,

      So, technically, you live together right? Check this one:
      EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

  10. Avatar

    Anna

    December 14, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    So i havent found anything about this problem yet, so please help me out!!

    My ex-boyfriend and I broke off very badly in the start of September. He’s the first love although I had several boyfriend before him, and I’m not used to be broken up with, it uses to be me who breaks the relationship. But not this time so I think I managed it extremely badly. Anyway, after some weeks we began on/off to see eachother and so on, but we kept fighting so I decided to move on in the start of October and we only talked once every 2. Week or so. In the middle of November when we hadn’t talked for like 3 weeks or so he suddenly writes to me on Facebook that he was very sad (he’s 21 and both his parents died in the ending if November for about 5 years ago and I’m the only one who he had ever talked about his parents) and he wanted to talk to me. Before we split apart in September and truly in October we promised to always be there for eachother and support eachother and I still care a lot about him. So I called him and we talked about everything in 6 hours. Including his parents and suddenly he says he misses me and he wonder if I ever think about him and if I miss him too. I felt I was moving on, but his words hit me hard. He asked if I wanted to meet because that would really make him glad (we live about 2-3 hours apart because I moved to study when we had been together for about 1 year and when we broke up I had been living at the new place for about 8 months although I spent my 2 months of summer-break at him because I have a job in the same city). So I came home to him in the weekend after and we talked alot. I told him that i couldn’t go back to him this weekend and then don’t hear from him for several days once again (like our on/off period). He said he would try to commit to get things settled. We agreed that we wouldn’t go back and we would try to get to know eachother in a new way because we have both changed a lot in the past months. And then we slept together stupid as I was. When I went back home to my own pace things was good for 3 days and then it all went back. Before it went back, he said I could live at his place the 2 weeks of my Christmas holiday so I could work hard and earn some money for my university. I gladly said yes thanks and asked my job for a bunch of work hours. And I got like 8-9 hours per day. But after I said yes thanks I didn’t hear anything from him. If I asked him something he answered politely and said that I could still live at his place.. that was about 3 weeks ago. Now I’m sitting in his apartment and im completely lost! I think he’s seeing somebody else but i would really like him back. He don’t know what I know (that he’s seeing this other girl) and I cant tell if he’s simply seeing this girl to get over me or if he really likes he – he haven’t mention anything about her and when he should sleep somewhere else yesterday he said he should sleep at his mate/bros place when my friend tells me he actually shoukd have slept at a girl’s place. But 2 hours after he left the apartment and I still didn’t knew that he was at thus girl’s pace, someone tried to break in at the apartment and I was terrified and called him. He rushed back and he sat up all night to protect me and hug me through my nightmares. He said I was his princess, he would do anything for me and that he loves me. I’m so confused! How the heck should I act for the next 2 weeks? I don’t think he wants to get back together. Shoukd I just be all happy and then implement NC when I leave the town again or WHAT!? I’m sooooo damn confused 🙁

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      Hi,

      So, technically, you live together right? Check this one:
      EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

  11. Avatar

    Maria

    December 11, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Hi!
    My ex and I have been broken up for almost six months. We work together and remain friends, though my chasing after the break up caused him to push back a lot and to start “casually dating” another girl. It feels like I annoy him most of the time and his general view of me is more negative than positive despite what I do to try to change that perception. I found this site last month and want to do a 30 day NC, which will be very difficult during the holidays and with his gift already bought. We are going together as friends to a holiday party tonight and I thought I’d start NC tomorrow. I plan to be fun and positive the whole night to get the ball rolling. Is six months out too long ago to do this? Is the right time to start tomorrow or should I wait until after the holidays? Maybe a semi NC? Thoughts?
    Thanks for your help 🙂

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 13, 2017 at 4:32 am

      Hi Maria,

      Are you in nc now?

  12. Avatar

    Trish

    December 1, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Loved this article! It actually helped me out alot. Although my situation is a little different. I dated a guy for 5 years and he recently started a relationship with someone else. Now, I’m not sure if it’s a rebound situation but I know she came into the picture within a week of our breakup. But all the points in this article are great. It’s important to work on yourself during no contact. Any ladies reading this that doubt no contact is working, you need to stop thinking about that and THINK ABOUT YOU, NOT HIM! If you don’t fix yourself, you’re wasting your time.
    Anyways, thank you for this article and a little boost of confidence. I needed that
    x

  13. Avatar

    Sammy

    November 12, 2017 at 12:14 am

    Hi Amor,
    So after 21 days of NC, I reached out to him and said congrats on a work thing and that I hoped he got to celebrate- he never replied. I also friend requested him on FB and he declined. This is the same guy who I had been talking to for 3 months and who seemed into me, but then asked for space. I had sent him that angry text, then apologized and he blocked me from instagram and snapchat. I’m not sure what to do..I feel heartbroken and feel like he absolutely despises me. I feel horrible. What can I do? Will any amount of waiting or anything help at this point? If so, what would I say..? He seems to not want anything to do with me and I’m sure he’s interested in someone else..

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 13, 2017 at 1:30 am

      In reply to Sam.

      Hi,

      it’s still here, I just haven’t reached it yet.. Well, you’re not supposed to send a friend request if there’s no rapport, unless you don’t have any way of contacting him than that.. Other than moving on, try nc for one last time and do it for 45 days..

  14. Avatar

    May

    October 31, 2017 at 6:47 am

    I am now in a great depression coz during my NC rule, I’ve found out my ex posted a pic with a new gal. As far as I know, they were dating before our spilt coz we fought a lot over the past few months . So he met with her. At first when I found out, he tried to choose me over her but I had shown my desperate behavior to him and he was so annoyed by it all over again. So he break me up and now started to date her officially.
    Do I still have a chance to get him back? Coz I love him so much we were in relationship for more than ten years

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 1, 2017 at 7:57 pm

      Hi May,

      Dont over think.. What matters more is what he thinks of he sees your posts, talks to you or sees you in person.. Would he think you’re still the chasing ex or would he regrer not having you?