For the past seven years over 27,364,111 women have visited Ex Boyfriend Recovery.
Recently, I analyzed my clients and readers questions and cross referenced those findings with what I know to be true about your overall chances with your ex.
My goal was to answer one simple question:
What situations indicate that an ex has moved on?
Here is a quick summary of my key findings:
- Your Ex Won’t Respond To Any Of Your Text Messages
- He’s Been In A Relationship With Someone Else For More Than 6 Months
- He Has Blocked You Over The Phone And In The Major Social Media Platforms
- He Has Literally Moved Away
- He Is Engaged
- His Family Has Conspired Against You
- Religious Differences
Of course, the devil is in the details so pay attention as I dissect what these findings actually mean.
Sign #1: Your Ex Won’t Respond To Any Of Your Text Messages
This one was actually pretty easy to determine. So often you’ll find that on this website I talk about the importance of the no contact rule.
In fact, I think that I make such a point of talking about it that the rest of the overall strategy gets lost in translation.
As you can see there’s a lot more that goes into successfully re-establishing a relationship with your ex.
Want to take a guess at what all of that “extra stuff” has in common?
If you guessed “communication” then you win a golden star!
Here’s the deal.
If you want to get your ex back then being able to communicate with them is essential.
That’s where text messages come into play.
Generally I teach a strategy where you let things evolve naturally with your ex.
Text messages are the entry point to that process. So, it’s a bit of a problem if you can’t even get your ex to respond to you.
Recent studies have found that 90% of text messages are responded to within the first three minutes upon receipt.
So, if you’ve sent your ex something crazy like ten text messages over the course of a week and not gotten a response that is very indicative of a situation with a low success rate.
Now, some of you may be reading this and panicking.
My advice to you is to actually improve your texting game with My book, The Texting Bible.
Sign #2 He’s Been In A Relationship With Someone Else For More Than Six Months
As dive deeper into this website and learn about my process you’ll probably also hear me talk a lot about exes who move on.
For many women this is their greatest fear.
And truth be told, it used to be mine too.
There was nothing more frightening than working with a client who had a situation where her ex was dating someone new.
Luckily, over time I developed a pretty killer method for dealing with this problem.
Nevertheless, even I will admit that understanding if your ex is on the rebound is pretty essential.
As a general rule of thumb I have found that six months seems to be the magic mark when it comes to determining the legitimacy of a rebound relationship.
Think of it like this.
If your exes rebound is more than six months old then it is likely in the midst of turning from a rebound relationship to a regular one.
In other words, your chances of a successful reunion can plummet pretty dramatically.
Now, with that being said I have seen some situations where an ex will come back even after being in a relationship with the new girl for more than six months.
However, that outcome is usually rare.
Sign #3: You’ve Been Blocked Via Phone And Social Media
This ties into what I was talking about with sign #1.
It takes two to tango and if your ex isn’t tangoing then you aren’t going to get very far.
Now, I have no perfect way of verifying the statement I am about to make but in my estimation close to 70% of exes who block you are doing so for one of two reasons.
- The Knee Jerk Reaction Of What They Think They Need To Do After A Breakup
- The Simple Fact That Talking To You Is Hard
That is why I’ve been on record in my program for stating that most of the time when you’ve been blocked by an ex all you have to do is wait and eventually you will get unblocked.
It isn’t exactly the sexiest answer that people want to hear but it is what I have seen work in most cases.
Of course, that’s me talking to the 70% of individuals who are lucky and have an ex who will probably unblock them at some point.
We still have to consider those 30% of individuals who don’t have an ex like that.
So, how do you tell if you are in the majority or the minority.
Well, here are some of the warning signs I’d say go for being in the minority.
- Your relationship was plagued with a lot of fighting
- Your ex doesn’t have a history of blocking you before
- Your relationship ended on awful terms
- More than three months have gone by while being blocked
It’s that last one I want to expand on a bit.
Time is the ultimate decider on your ex blocking you. It’s what will tell you the difference between being in the majority and in the minority.
Generally speaking an ex who is blocking you as a result of a knee jerk reaction will only keep you blocked for a month or two.
Anything that evolves into the “three month range” becomes dangerous for your chances.
Sign #4: He Has Literally Moved Away
This one can be easily confused with a long distance relationship situation.
I want to make one thing very clear.
I am not talking about LDR’s.
No, I am talking about a situation where you and your ex break up and then they move away.
Timing is important here.
I’ve had a lot of long distance success stories throughout my tenure here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery but one thing I like in a long distance situation is a history of distance already established.
Now, what do I mean by that?
Simple, your chances in a long distance relationship are better if you and your ex have already had one before.
They aren’t so great if there is no history of distance to fall back on.
That might strike you as odd but if you sit back and think about it, it does make perfect sense.
If you and your ex had a normal “within distance” relationship then it feels like a step back to go into a long distance situation.
Therefore, if you break up with your ex and then they move away your chances are significantly lower for success.
Sign #5: He Got Engaged To Someone Else
It might seem obvious for me to put this here but you’d be surprised with the amount of people I deal with that still try to get their exes back who are either engaged or married.
Sign #2 dealt with situations where exes have been in a relationship with someone new for at least six months.
This sign takes it to a whole other level.
I want you to visualize commitments in relationships the following way.
Generally speaking there is a certain type of trajectory for how these things shake out.
- We start out “talking” with our partners.
- Then talking evolves into “dating.”
- “Dating” into a “Relationship.”
- “Relationships” into “Engagements.”
- And finally we have “Marriage.”
What makes you think that if your ex is engaged or married that you have a good chance of getting them back?
Let’s ignore the moral side of the argument for a minute.
Why would someone who has made a commitment to spend their entire life with someone else be interested in dating you?
There are exceptions to every rule of course but looking at it practically it seems pretty obvious that your ex has moved on if they reach this level of commitment with someone else.
Sign #6: His Family Has Conspired Against You
This is one I don’t see a lot of my peers talking about but you are completely naive if you think it doesn’t exist.
If you listen or read my stuff enough you’ll definitely hear me talk about “the sphere of influence” at some point.
Sphere of Influence: The people your ex surrounds themselves with that impact the way they look at the world.
The people in your exes SOI usually look something like this,
- You Get The Idea
The SOI can either work to help or harm you depending on your interactions with them.
One thing I’ve seen a lot of over the past seven years is the impact that friends and family can have on your overall chances.
I’ll give you an example.
About a year ago one of my coaches was working with someone and it was going really well.
They were seeing all kinds of positive progress with their ex.
He was responding to text messages that he hadn’t responded to before.
He was requesting dates and texting her immediately after they were over.
And then one day it stopped.
She reached out to him and he wouldn’t respond.
She’d make a social media post and he wouldn’t like anything.
People have a tendency to blame themselves when things like this happen so it shouldn’t come as a shock when our client started replaying everything she did trying to find the exact thing she messed up on.
Later she finds out that she didn’t do anything wrong at all. Instead, she learned that her exes mother had made up all kinds of lies about her.
Some background might be required here.
The client and her exes mother always had a contentious relationship. One that was plagued with fights and name callings.
In fact, this was a pretty big reason that the breakup had even occurred in the first place.
Her ex had sided with his own mom over her.
And it killed any progress she could make.
Ultimately it hindered her chances significantly.
Sign #7: Religious Differences And The Sword of Damocles
Are you familiar with “The Sword of Damocles?”
Put simply, it’s an anecdote that explores the imminent and ever-present peril faced by those in positions of power.
Have you ever felt that even though life was going well for you , you had this unconscious fear that this one bad thing that could happen that would be devastating.
You walk throughout your life always with one eye open because this “Sword of Damocles” hangs above your head constantly.
Religious differences in relationships are kind of like that.
Even when things are going great you still have this unconscious fear or feeling that the religious differences can get in the way.
I see this a lot with my clients from India and Pakistan.
Even though I can give them the best advice it can still fall apart because religion gets in the way.
Now, I’ve written in the past about how to handle these religious differences. However, there is one general rule of thumb I like to go by.
If your breakup was only caused because of religious differences then it’s likely that your ex is in the process of moving on.
If religious differences contributed to your breakup then you should still be ok.