There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a rebound relationship and let’s be real – your partner will probably never admit that you’re a rebound.
So today I’d like to do something about helping you with that by looking at five real life signs that you are indeed the rebound.
But I want to go above and beyond even that by telling you a little about how to approach the situation.
For reference, this article is especially relevant to those of you who either think you’re in a rebound relationship or those who are trying to get your ex back and think you might be in a rebound relationship.
Without further adieu, here are the signs that you’re a rebound for your partner:
Five Signs That You Are A Rebound Relationship
It’s important to note that each of these signs isn’t pulled out of a magic hat. They have been taken extensively from clients that I’ve worked with long enough to make a final determination on whether or not they were in a rebound relationship.
The signs are as follows,
- Your partner broke up with their ex in the last three months
- You’ve not been with your partner for at least six months
- Your partner consistently talks with their ex.
- Your partner is hiding things from you (specifically about their past relationship)
- Your partner only talks to you when they are lonely, not when they are happy.
Let’s start from the top.
Sign # 1: Your Partner Has Broken Up With Their Ex In The Last Three Months
So one of the biggest indicators that you are in a rebound relationship is probably the most obvious one – Your partner has literally just broken up with their ex in the past three months.
Now, why do I say three months?
Well, one thing we’ve learned from people who are trying to get their ex back is that three months is the usual minimum period it takes for them to successfully rekindle their relationship with their ex. So, that first three months is pretty much fair game for your partner’s ex to swoop back in.
It’s not just about their ex though. Your partner could very well still be carrying unresolved feelings from their breakup because it’s still so fresh in their mind. Now does that mean you should be 100% sure you’re just a rebound?
It takes a lot more than one sign on this list to ensure that your partner is in a relationship with you so don’t lose hope just yet.
In fact, I would say that as you go through this list of signs, try to look for at least two or three that fit your situation to be sure.
Sign # 2: You’ve Not Been With Your Partner For At Least Six Months
Where sign number one was all about how quickly your partner moved on from their past relationship, sign number two is how long they’ve been in a relationship with you.
Now it’s not going out on a limb too much to say that the first two signs that I’m talking about here go hand in hand and are the top two indicators that you might be in a rebound relationship.
So why the “six months” limit?
We’ve actually seen that if couples are together for more than six months, generally speaking, those relationships tend to last a little bit longer. The six month mark is where things start getting more serious than a typical rebound relationship. After all, everyone knows the stereotype goes that if you’re on the rebound you’re not in that rebound relationship for that long.
So, let’s say that your partner has broken up with their ex two months ago. They immediately moved on and have been with you for only two months, this still puts you in that rebound territory. But as time passes, you and your partner get more comfortable with each other and your relationship becomes more secure.
Now, does being within that 6 month period mean you are necessarily in a rebound relationship? Not exactly but it’s not a great sign. But you definitely need some more information to determine whether your partner just sees you as a rebound.
That’s where signs number three, four, and five can come into play to help you determine a little bit more about your specific situation.
Sign # 3: Your Partner Consistently Talks With Their Ex
Okay, this one should be pretty obvious. Let’s say that your partner recently broke up with your ex and has been with you throughout that time, yet they consistently talk to their ex.
You may often catch them hiding their phone from you (but some more on that later). You notice that he’s always hanging out with his ex or consulting her on every little thing he does. He might even try to justify that behavior to you under the “we’re just friends now” guise. But you can never be certain, especially if your relationship is still new.
When your ex constantly talks to their ex, it might mean they have unresolved feelings that they’re trying to work through.
Flipping the coin, let’s say you’re approaching a situation where you’re trying to get your ex back but your ex has moved on to another woman. We’ve found that the most effective way to win them back is by helping them explore their unresolved feelings by simply talking to them.
We actually advise women to purposely friendzone themselves so their ex feels more comfortable talking to them when he’s already with someone else. This is why we advise you to be cautious of any “we’re just friends” excuses if your partner is always talking to his ex.
So, if you approach your ex as a friend and he starts reciprocating the talking and even starts to open up and talk more about his feelings, it’s a sign that he is unhappy in their current relationship. The same applies if your partner is oversharing with their ex because that could mean they are not satisfied in their current relationship with you.
There are obviously some exceptions like if your partner works with their ex or shares a child with them because they kinda have to talk to each other. But if there are no such circumstances and your partner is still consistently talking to your ex, it’s usually not a great sign.
Sign # 4: Your Partner Is Hiding Things From You About Their Past Relationship
Everyone has a different theory on how to handle talking about your past relationships with your current partner. Some people swear by it and prefer to just get everything out on the table and start with a clean slate, whereas some people avoid it like the plague.
Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, years of experience have taught me that it really doesn’t matter because, at the end of the day, curiosity gets the best of everyone. You will eventually end up getting curious and asking your ex about their past relationship, and their reaction will tell you everything you need to know about where their heart is.
Now, if you notice your partner starts hiding things about their past relationship, it’s not a good sign. They may try to hide the fact that they’re currently talking to their ex or they’re making up facts that don’t exist about their past relationship.
Why would they be hiding stuff? Sure, they may not want to embarrass you about some sexual exploits they had in the past with that partner, but we’re not really talking about things on that scale.
What we’re really looking at here is whether they are hiding very basic information about their past relationship.
A great way to catch them in their lies is by noticing what pronouns they use when talking about their relationship because it has been proven that people use a lot of third-person pronouns when they’re lying.
They do this to separate themselves from the lie and almost feel better about lying to you. So if you notice your partner uses a lot of “him”s or “her”s or “they”s or “them”s as opposed to “me” or “I” when talking about their past relationship, it may be a sign that they’re hiding something.
Now, I do want to put a disclaimer here that out of all the signs I’m talking about today, this is probably the least robust one. It’s not as successful at determining whether you’re in a rebound relationship because a lot of people just feel incredibly embarrassed about discussing their past relationships, especially if there was some bad blood involved.
Your partner might even be trying to protect your feelings by hiding certain things so in their mind, not talking about their ex is a good thing. So, let’s move on to sign number five that can help you see whether they’re genuinely avoiding hurting your feelings.
Sign # 5: Your Partner Only Talks To You When THEY Are Lonely
Rebound relationships, in general, are all about them and not you.
They come into a relationship to temporarily distract themselves from the pain of their past breakup. After all, having a shoulder to cry on (with other benefits as well) sounds like a great idea when getting over a breakup.
But you deserve more than just being someone’s distraction so here’s an interesting trend to keep an eye out for:
Your partner only talks to you when they’re lonely or going through an emotional hardship, but when you make them feel better, they use that positive emotional energy in other places.
How is it fair that you put them in a good mood but then all you get in response is the cold shoulder or some neutral one-word responses?
You see, a relationship is all about give and take, but if it feels like you keep giving and getting nothing in return, it’s not a great sign.
Now I’m not saying your partner cant have bad days. We all have those, but if they’re looking to you for emotional support on every bad day but disappearing on the good days, you’re not really getting much out of the relationship.
So yeah, it’s okay to emotionally support your partner if they’re feeling down but if they walk out the door as soon as they feel better, chances are you’re probably just a rebound for them.
It’s not always easy to tell if you’re in a rebound relationship but these five real-life signs are great things to look out for:
- Your partner broke up with their ex less than three months ago
- You have not been with your partner for six months yet
- Your partner consistently talks to their ex
- Your partner hides things about their past relationship from you
- Your partner only turns to you when they’re feeling lonely