There’s a “rebound relationship” checklist that I use for every client that comes to me when another person is in the picture with their ex.

And today I’d like to share it with you.

You’ll find that the 6 signs that I talk about in this article are different than what some of my peers are telling you.

This is by design because I want you to understand the reality of the situation you’ve found yourself in and I’m not interested in lying to you to make you feel better.

So, with that in mind let’s begin!

6 Signs That Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship

Below I have compiled the checklist that I use for my personal coaching clients who ask me if their ex is in a rebound relationship,

  1. How quickly did it take for your ex to move on?
  2. How long your ex has been dating that new person for?
  3. Does your ex have a history of jumping from relationship to relationship after a breakup?
  4. Is your ex exhibiting a bit of the grass is greener syndrome?
  5. Have you considered the differences between stability and excitement?
  6. Is your ex showing off the new person to you to rub it in your face?

Now, if you are familiar with my work on Ex Boyfriend Recovery then you’d know that I am really big on giving you in-depth reasoning.

So, what I’d like to do is take a few minutes and expand on what each of these signs actually means.

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1. How Quickly Did It Take For Your Ex To Move On?

In case you were wondering Psychology Today has gone on the record and defined a rebound relationship as,

A person getting into a relationship shortly after their previous one ends.

I’ve actually found that reality is a little more sinister than that when dealing with exes.

In fact, what no one usually tells you about an ex “going on the rebound” is that they typically meet that rebound when they are still in a relationship with you.

Basically they start forming some type of emotional or physical bond with them while they are still committed to you.

This introduction of a third party into your relationship can sometimes be enough to cause the breakup itself,

This leaves your ex pretty happy initially with the new person and you pretty devastated, searching the internet for answers.

Sound familiar?

Here’s my point.

We are here to look for the signs that an ex is on the rebound and one of the most important things to take a look at is how fast it took for them to move on to the new person.

As a general rule of thumb the quicker they move on the more likely it is to be “a rebound.”

That’s what all of my peers are going to tell you and I will agree with them on that.

But what about that situation I discussed above?

What about if your ex meets this new person while they are with you?

Is it a rebound then?

Well, that’s why we don’t hang our hats only on one sign.

2. How Long Has Your Ex Been Dating The New Person For?

About a month ago I filmed a really interesting video on YouTube that tackled one of the most asked questions I get by clients,

“How long does the average rebound last for?”

I answer that question in the video and write up below,

Now, the interesting thing I found when I went to Google and started searching for the answer was that no one really had any data on how long rebounds lasted for.

People had guesses…

And a few of my peers who I won’t name were quoting ridiculous things like,

“60% of rebounds last less than three months”

Never mind the fact that when I actually did a fact check on these statements I couldn’t find any proof to back them up.

So, seeing as how there wasn’t any research that I trusted I decided that I would create the research for myself.

So, I went out and did the following things.

  1. Looked at my own internal notes on how long it took for a rebound relationship to end
  2. I went to every forum I could think of and compiled the data from what people said
  3. I went to every answer website that had written an article on the topic and scanned the comments to see if I could learn anything there.

The whole process took me a good 3 hours.

Now, my goal with all of this was to create a benchmark for my clients who were wondering at what point a “rebound” turned into a “real” relationship.

I wanted to put a timeline on it. I wanted to be able to point to something and say,

“You can expect the average rebound to last (x) amount of months.”

Turns out that when you compile all of the research together you get the following number,

5.2 months

Now, does this mean that your ex and his new person is going to break up at exactly 5.2 months?

No.

However, it gives us a benchmark to grade sign #2 on.

Generally speaking if your exes “rebound” has lasted longer than 5.2 months that is starting to get into more serious territory.

3. Does Your Ex Have A History Of Jumping From Relationship To Relationship After The Breakup

This is an often overlooked factor when it comes to determining if your ex is in a rebound relationship or not.

By simply looking at your exes past you might be able to determine if them jumping into a rebound is common or not.

It’s not exactly rocket science…

But let me throw some fascinating knowledge your way.

Do you think getting into a rebound relationship is healthy?

Think carefully before you answer.

Most of your friends and family will tell you that it’s not. They’ll sit there and say that it simply distracts a person from dealing with the necessary emotions that they need to deal with to move on from the heartbreak.

Well, recent research as early as 2014 suggests that actually getting into a rebound relationship can help your ex get over you and start to feel more confident.

This flies in the face of everything you’ve been told growing up.

Basically getting into a rebound relationship can be one of the best ways to get over a breakup.

Now, you may be sitting here and wondering,

“Why the heck are you telling me this?”

I’m telling you because love, breakups, lust, heartbreak, anger, sadness, depression… they are all nothing more than emotions created as a result of chemicals being released or regulated by your brain.

Well, that’s the scientific way of looking at it.

But I think it’s important to consider the scientific view for a moment.

If your ex is heartbroken as a result of a break up with you wouldn’t it make sense for the brain to protect itself by finding someone as soon as possible so that it can release the right chemicals to help you get over your heartbreak sooner?

Now, I don’t want to get into a philosophical discussion on fate or free will here but to me it makes sense that your ex may not even be aware of the reason they are dating a new person. They just simply feel that it’s what they have to do.

I’ve talked to a lot of men and women going through breakups and the one common thing that I hear from them when I ask them why they jumped into a relationship so quickly is,

“I don’t know…”

I used to think that they just didn’t want to tell me so they were just giving me a lame excuse.

But the more I sat on it and considered I began to believe that they probably have no reasoning for why they are wanting to go to the new person. They just know they have to do it. Well, it could be that their sense of self doesn’t know why they need to do it but their brain does.

So, like an unseen force working behind the scenes it draws them into another relationship.

Why?

So that it can give the body the chemicals it needs to get over a breakup sooner.

4. Is Your Ex Exhibiting The Grass Is Greener Syndrome

The grass is greener syndrome is one of those buzzwords that everyone always talks about but I honestly don’t think anyone understands the dynamics of it.

When you think of the grass is greener syndrome you probably start thinking about an ex who thinks they can do better than you, right?

But what if I told you that we are always looking to find a bigger better deal in our relationships.

The interdependence theory posits that we commit to each other based on costs and rewards.

In other words, we are always looking to get rid of people who cost us things and find the people who reward us the most.

Now, here is the wild part.

When researchers started trying to understand how interdependence played into relationships they learned that three huge factors come into play.

  • Satisfaction: how satisfied we are with the relationship in question.
  • Alternatives: Is there another person out there who can satisfy us more than the person we are with?
  • Investment: how much have we invested into the relationship?

Now, I don’t know about you but “Alternatives” sounds a lot like the grass is greener syndrome to me.

One consistent theme I see with exes who move on to someone new is they have this unshakeable belief that they can do better than you.

However, a rebound really isn’t a rebound until that new relationship ends is it?

How The Honeymoon Period Plays A Role Into GIGS

Now, what do we know about new relationships?

Well, we know that every new relationship will go through this period of time where the world looks a little like this to them,

Basically, we view our relationship through rose colored glasses and believe our partner can do no wrong.

So, lets swing around to your ex and their new rebound.

When they are really determining if they made the right choice in breaking up with you (assuming they did break up with you) they are going to be comparing how they feel with the new person to how they felt with you.

And it’s obviously going to be better.

Why?

Well, the new person has an unfair advantage.

Your ex is looking and comparing based on how they feel during the honeymoon period so it makes sense that your relationship won’t compare.

But the one constant in this world is change…

And that even applies to how we feel in relationships.

So, often what I see happening is that when the honeymoon period ends your ex does this internal calculation in their head and that’s when the true grass is greener syndrome comes into play.

That’s when they’ll really sit there and ask themselves,

“Is the person I’m with really better than (insert your name?)”

5. Consider The Difference Between Stability And Excitement

A few weeks ago I was reading an article on “The Atlantic” that Esther Perel wrote.

Now, if you don’t know who Esther Perel is then you need to stop everything you are doing right now and check out her website and watch this video,

In my opinion, the woman is a savant when it comes to understanding infidelity.

Now, let’s be honest.

Infidelity is a really dark topic and you may be sitting around and wondering why the heck I am talking about it when this article is about rebound relationships. Well, in my view there are a lot of similarities between someone who is having an affair and someone who is jumping into a rebound relationship.

After all, most of the rebound relationships I encounter are actually beginning while your partner is still with you.

But we are getting off topic here.

One of the most fascinating findings that Esther Perel has been championing is that one of the underlying causes of why we cheat on our partners is due to the fact that there isn’t enough excitement in their relationship.

They can love each other deeply but contrary to popular belief love doesn’t conquer all.

Within every man lies a need for excitement and stability.

Now, after working one on one with clients for half a decade I’ve come up with something to fully describe this need for excitement and stability

Stability is the opposite of excitement…

And excitement is the opposite of stability…

And yet we need both to feel fully satisfied in a relationship which will then help in preventing us looking elsewhere.

So, ideally we are always trying to bring this perfect balance of stability and excitement to our relationships but something tells me that when you look back on your time with your ex this might have been problematic.

For example, you might have been a little too stable and not exciting enough,

This isn’t good because what happens then?

Well, that’s where your ex will take a step back and start looking for an alternative that can bring more excitement into their life.

Of course, the reverse is also true if you are too exciting/unstable in a relationship,

You see, I have this really interesting hypothesis that in general people veer a little more in one direction than the other. Take me for example. I am not overly attracted to someone who always wants to go on adventures and is extremely outgoing.

However, there are times in my marriage where I want my wife to be that way.

I want her to be spontaneous and exciting.

But at my core I always value stability a little more.

So, the reality is that I think we are always trying to achieve a perfect balance of excitement and stability but the fact is that we always prefer one a little over the other.

6. Is Your Ex Showing Their Rebound Off To You?

Our Private Facebook Group has special terminology for rebound relationships.

They call them,

OW’s = Other Women

The OW did this…

The OW did that…

You get the picture.

Well, one interesting thing I notice on there is that they become so obsessed with the other woman and what she’s doing that they completely forget to look at things from a broader perspective.

Last year I was working with a client and her ex boyfriend had gotten an “OW.”

Obviously, I gave her this checklist (excluding this particular sign) to look over and determine if her exes new woman was indeed a rebound relationship. She determined that the new girl was but she ended up throwing me off my game when she asked me a question that I was not expecting,

“Chris, he is literally asking for my advice on how to handle her in different situations”

Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I have heard of this happening a lot but what threw me off my game was the fact that I had an instant lightbulb moment,

You see, before when a client would ask me this question I’d just immediately assume they were being friend zoned but what if they weren’t.

What if the ex was literally asking them questions about the new girl to not only throw it in their face but to gauge their reaction to see if they were still interested.

Well, the only way for me to find out was to actually go to the clients that I had helped successfully win their exes back who had rebounds and ask them if their exes exhibited this behavior.

It turns out that half of my clients said that their exes did this exact thing and half of them said they hadn’t.

That’s pretty significant.

Significant enough to add to the list.

So, our list of five became a list of six and we have strong evidence to suggest that if your ex is throwing their new relationship in your face it is a sign that, that relationship is a rebound!

I Want To Talk To You For A Bit

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’ve been undergoing a lot of internal changes here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

What do I mean by that?

Well, I’ve determined that a lot of our old content is… well, old.

It’s outdated and my views have changed on it. So, rather than writing new content covering the same ground I am going back and updating it. Just like relationships the content on our website is a living breathing thing and it needs to change as the times change.

So, I am going to make a commitment to you.

Every year as I learn more about what works and what doesn’t work I am going to come back and update this content. In addition, I’ve made a personal commitment to do my best to respond to every comment that I get.

So, if you want to a quick take on your situation just ask me a question in the comments and I’ll try to get back to you within 24 hours!

Sometimes life gets in the way but usually I am pretty good about it.

Citations and Sources:

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2,869 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. Avatar

    Fern

    May 18, 2020 at 4:12 am

    I think my ex is in a rebound relationship. They’ve been together for 3 months now and my ex already reached out to me thrice. At first, he was just asking random questions (How am I?, If I already have a boyfriend? etc), but the last one he said HE MISSES ME. He admits he just wanted to tell me what he trully feels, though he said he doesn’t want to get back to me. Prior to his first chat, I’ve been in no contact for a month and I was already starting to move on, but now I don’t even no anymore. I don’t want to build my hopes up but why would he tell me that and still stay with his new girl?? What are the chances we’re getting back together when he’s clearly suppressing his feelings for me and is hoping they would work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:00 pm

      Hey Fern if you want your ex back then I think you can start following the being there method. He is not going to end things with the new girl yet as he is likely not sure what sort of response he is going to get from you

  2. Avatar

    diana

    May 17, 2020 at 9:17 am

    my ex’s rebound started on a bit of a rocky foundation (ie she ignored him after their first date to talk to other guys) but as far as I know they’re still together after 3 months, although we’re all supposed to be quarantined right now. He texted me a month ago for closure and for being rude after the breakup, and confirmed they were still together. And today, I get the notification that he refollowed me on Instagram. How should I be interpreting this behavior? We never said that we’d be friends and he hasn’t texted or dm’d me, he only stalks my account… it seems weird to do this considering he’s seeing someone…

  3. Avatar

    Jewel

    May 16, 2020 at 8:02 pm

    Hi, my name Jewel, me and my ex have been living 2 years and have broken up since crisis started, around 2 months, but we still living together, my ex sleep in other room. I’m foreigner and living in Poland, i don’t have family so i can’t move out during quarantine time. He met new girl when i was together and i felt something different and he confessed that he had been seeing another woman a couple days, she is his co-worker, and he liked the way they speak to each other. I was nearly being crazy, threaten i would kill her if he still met her, pleading, begging. After few days later, i was fine and accept his decision but i was still jealous and spoken bad things about new girl sometimes, my ex were really angry at me and he always come to her 2 and 3 days, and left me stay home even he doesn’t care about quarantine. I left home 10 days for recovering my self, i’m backed with new version of my self and it seem he can’t accept that, he is angry at me coz of no reason and hope i would go back old me but it doesn’t work. My ex and new girl have been for nearly 2 months and they official commitment relationship yesterday on Instagram.
    Is it a rebound relationship ?
    What should i do next for getting back my ex?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 21, 2020 at 12:17 am

      Hi Jewel it is possible that he is going to be in a rebound right now but it is important that you complete 45 days No Contact before you start the being there method

  4. Avatar

    Kim

    May 14, 2020 at 8:23 am

    Hi

    So my ex and I stopped talking to each other/ broke up in feb, because he was seeing someone whilst still with me. After we broke up, he started seeing the same girl and then weeks later moved on to another girl. I haven’t spoken to him since then and i tried not to react to anything. I stayed radio silent. Recently i saw he has a new girl. I was a bit sad when i saw this because i do still have feelings for him and i do want to be with him. But what does this mean moving from girl to girl? I ended up unfollowing him on instagram and we basically don’t have each other on any social media. I’ve tried to build my myself up during this time and I have tried to move on for myself but i can’t help the way i feel about him. We’ve known each other for four years. Has he totally forgotten me. I know if i had to reach out to him he’d just make me a fool. Also during these four years we have dated off and on. What should I do? Is it over this time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 9:06 pm

      Hi Kim, you need to spend your No Contact period working on becoming Ungettable. Where your ex is going to be on the outside looking in, seeing how amazing you are and he was a fool to let you go let alone cheat on you. I would also be sure to start dating if possible in your area with current circumstances. Your guy seems like he moves on and cheats often so I would be sure that you show him you are the best person he ever had and is going to have to work to get you back. If he does come back you need to get him investing his time into you, talking to you and spending time with you

  5. Avatar

    Tanner M

    May 12, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Still searching for answers on what is going on.

    My Ex girlfriend broke up with me end of January (24th), citing depression, stress, classwork, and unable to feel human as the reasons for the break up. We kept in touch all of Feb and most of March. Beginning of April (literally the 1st) she got a new boyfriend, they had met mid March around the time she responded to me less and less.

    He seems to be the opposite of me at a glance, he is VERY similar to her exes before me (Though hopefully minus the abuse), and she isnt exactly exhibiting the “tell tale signs” I see on articles like this. She NEVER posts about them on social media, from what I see they barely communicate at all, and even her own family was suprised she had a new boyfriend (Some didnt even know we broke up).

    I hope its a rebound but Im not sure. I did 21 days no contact in April, Im changing up my own habits to try and be more exciting, Ive identified as many issues with myself during the relationship and after as possible to work on them. I feel I am in a good place to fix things with her given the chance but Im concerned this isnt a rebound. I want to pretend it is but I cant know for sure.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:38 pm

      Hi Tanner, the fact that your ex has met someone new, rebound or not is if you complete a 45 day No Contact and then start following the information for the being there method. It takes time and patience you need to show her how you are the better option between you and the new person

  6. Avatar

    Louis Richards

    May 11, 2020 at 6:28 pm

    hi my name is Louis and me my ex girlfriend been together for 3 years now we havent spoken since last year been 5 months and a bit now I feel like I’m in a rebound she jumps in a new relationship I think she trying to make me jealous with new guy I don’t even know him me and my ex girlfriend haven’t spoke 5 months and a bit now now

  7. Avatar

    Nehal Dewan

    May 11, 2020 at 9:20 am

    Hi. So I had been in a serious long distance relationship for 7 years. I had issues going on with me for almost a year before we broke up. I was sad and she told me that she was guilty for being happy around me and I was angry and told her that I wanted a break up. I might also have told her existence in my life was regretful. I apologized and she accepted it and I felt really guilty. But that’s not important. Cause she straight up told in my face shes moved on and is very happy. And I had to let her go. And that she wasnt coming back to me. It’s been 2 months we broke up and I saw her dating this guy. Who she posts picture of ,a video call in which she crops out the face of the guy. And she texts me constantly on alternate days to ask if I’m okay. She texts me telling me she is worried about me. And I’m angry. But I still do reply her but she doesn’t talk to me about this guy. She says it’s weird and didnt want me to find out the way I did. And I have done post relationship mistakes. Do u think it’s her rebound?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:50 pm

      Hi Nehal, as you had a long term relationship giving that she has moved on within 3 months yes there is a chance this can be a rebound, there is also the case that she has grass is greener syndrome. You need to complete a 45 day No Contact and then from there you need to implement the being there method if you want to get your ex back

  8. Avatar

    Sarah

    May 6, 2020 at 3:15 am

    I spoke/dated my ex for 6 months. We had an issue with distance. They left me because of it even though I chose to stay. They said they loved me but decided to leave anyways. I found out they’re talking to someone else. Possibly a friend’s ex. Could that be a rebound?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 12, 2020 at 1:21 pm

      Hi Sarah, I would say if they moved on within the week to two weeks yes it could be a rebound

  9. Avatar

    Christina

    May 5, 2020 at 1:43 am

    I dated this guy for 4 months long distance, and 2 months later, he’s seeing someone else. Is it possible this is a rebound?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 5, 2020 at 10:46 pm

      Hi Christina, I would say there is a chance this could be a new relationship but it does not mean you cant get him back you need to complete a 45 day No Contact and then start the being there method

  10. Avatar

    Jorden

    May 3, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    Hey
    So I have been dating my ex for almost five years (since I was 15) and then we broke up 2 months ago… back then he told me it’s not about being with anyone else or other girls he just wasn’t happy with in himself and needed to find out what makes him happy and out of love for him I said I loved him too much to not respect his wishes.
    a few days ago he texted me and said that although we don’t talk he wishes me happy birthday I replied that is not talking is not my choice and that I would like for us to try and remain friends as he suggested when we broke up , it took him 3 days to text me back that out of respect he has to let me know that he is dating someone and has a new girlfriend and being friends will hurt us both … I felt really disappointed and discussed, it hasn’t even been 2 full months yet and he already forgot all about me and moved on ?
    All our friends are mutual and during this social distancing I managed to do no contact up until that point, 2 days ago when he told me about said girlfriend my friends all met up for the first time and I was informed he was bringing his girlfriend Which used to be one of his friends. I yelled at my best friend for letting it happen and she did everything she could but he didn’t care and didn’t want to come alone I was not going to go over there and see it live after finding out 4 hours beforehand And I didn’t.
    I ended up seeing him yesterday as well without the said girl I was civil and said hello but it was really painful.
    Not to mention he acts poorly, he lied to my from the beginning about why we broke up even when I asked directly, he watches every Instagram story I post but not liking any of my photos, and now this ? Like seriously how could he do this ? Didn’t he love at all? How could he delete everything we had so fast and be with someone new already? And why is he so inconsiderate? Like what’s the deal ? We didn’t have a fight or anything when we broke up we were on a rise and just celebrated his birthday a few days before and I was just trying to make him happy after he was depressed for some time and I can’t say I stopped loving him or caring for him since …
    Does he absolutely not care about me at all to a point where he doesn’t mind seeing me ? He has to know that what he does hurts right ? Is it on purpose? And how do I deal with that situation when we have the same group of close friends?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 17, 2020 at 9:27 pm

      Hi Jorden, it sounds as if your ex moved on quickly which is likely to be a rebound with how long your relationship was. However for now you need to follow a 45 day NC and be civil if you happen to hang out with your shared friends at the same time, at the end of your 45 days you start the being there method if you want him back. As for how he is behaving around the OW he is more likely in the honeymoon phase and wanting to re assure him that she has nothing to worry about that he is friends with his ex at this time.

  11. Avatar

    Alty

    May 2, 2020 at 6:35 am

    Hi
    I’m a 44yr old male with 2 young boys of 8 & 6
    I have recently been dumped via text by my partner of 4 years. She also has 2 young girls the same age.
    Around 3 weeks after she dumped me she has been selling a new man to me. I admit I was the problem with our relationship and I own that. Ive done a lot of soul searching and research on what went wrong and how i can be a better person for her and i have messaged her that too. She ignores it and posts a pic of her and this guy.
    She has been cold and stood her ground and told me to leave her alone,she’s happy and has moved on. This is 3 weeks after dumping me. Today(5 weeks after dumping me)she put a pic up on her facebook of her and this guy and it has destroyed me.i want nothing more than to be with this lady and im happy to wait a few months or more to see how this new relationship she has thrown in my face turns out. She has been very vocal about how shes happy and why would she even consider dumping this great new guy to come back to me.
    I’ve never felt so much pain and i feel this may have been the kind of pain ive put her through and it hurts.
    No i have not cheated,i just disnt commit like she wanted me too and treated her wrong in that aspect.
    Please help or shed some light…i really would do anything to be with this girl

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 8:43 pm

      Hi Alty, I would suggest that you stop looking at her social media for the time being, and then complete a 45 day No contact so that you can let your ex and the new man pass the honeymoon phase and then you start following the being there method.

  12. Avatar

    Sara

    April 30, 2020 at 4:12 am

    My and I were together for 3 1/2 years and engaged. He broke up with me two months ago saying he wasnt happy, lost feelings, and wanted to be single. For the first month we stayed in constant contact and were still sleeping together. I did all the wrong things, begging, pleading, gnatting, getting jealous. Then I cut off the physical aspect and stopped begging and talking about our relationship and he was still texting me daily but the text got more and more distant/boring. 2 weeks later he flipped out on me and accused me of being on a dating app and using him then he immediately went Facebook official with his “new” girlfriend who is actually the girl he dated for 6 months before me, he broke up with her at that time. I assume they were seeing each other for atleast a week or two prior to that or longer even though we were still talking everyday and sleeping together. He told me he doesnt care about me and not to speak to him again when I tried to text him about the dating app fight. I purchased the EBR program and went into NC the next day that was 16 days ago . He has not tried to reach out at all. Does this count as a rebound even though they had a short relationship prior to us about 4 years ago? He is acting out on facebook, posting a ton of pictures of them, saying he loves her and how happy they are. Does this ruin my chances since they had a previous relationship?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 5:12 pm

      Hey Sara, yes I think it is a rebound, but I think he also tried to pass blame by saying you were on a dating app when he was speaking to you and this other girl at the same time. People like to be the victims in their own stories, it is unlikely he will reach out to you, but he will more than likely be in the honeymoon phase with this girl so be sure that you stick to NC for 45 days and then start the being there method. IF you have purchased EBR Pro then I assuming you are part of the Private Facebook Group too?

  13. Avatar

    Yash

    April 29, 2020 at 11:32 am

    Hi

    So i think my ex bf’s rebound relationship is ended. However, after 3 months he added me on snapchat and started snapping me but i wasn’t reacting. However i did put a pic of myself as my story and he saw it and after that he stopped snapping me but still has me. This is mixed signals. Also on instagram he put a quote like the best relationships are the ones you least expect to happen. And it did annoy me a bit. I don’t know what he’s getting act and I’m so confused because i also don’t know what’s really going on in his life. I do want him back what should i do? Also what do all these signs mean.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 2, 2020 at 3:10 pm

      Hey Yash I wouldnt see this as mixed signals. This is him trying to get you to reach out and he has realised that you are not answering his messages at the moment. I would stop watching his social media activity as you are over analysing his actions. If you want him back, first thing you need to do is complete a full period of 30 days and then reach out and start having short positive conversations to re build your connection

  14. Avatar

    Ai

    April 7, 2020 at 8:34 pm

    My ex and I are pretty young (college), and we dated for a year and a half. I broke up with him for some space, because he was nonstop calling/texting and getting mad when I wasn’t able to respond (classes etc.)

    So the original “plan” was that we would try again in a few months, but we argued a couple of times pretty badly post breakup because I overreacted about a lot of small things he said. However, even when we were on good terms he’d still be telling me that he liked _____ type of girl and try to imply that one of my coworkers was interested in me.

    We talked seriously on his birthday (About 3 weeks after the breakup) and even then he still said he was open to it later, but didn’t want to get together right now, and I agreed. We don’t argue in between then and Valentine’s Day at all, in fact we were getting along pretty well. And then he tells me he doesn’t love me, have any feelings for me, or ever want to try again. And I hear him loudly telling his friends about how he has a date, and his friend calls indirectly calls me his backup.

    She ghosts him after their date, but a month later they went out again and now they’re “official” according to him. I only know this information because he keeps loudly announcing it around me when we have to be in the same room, what am I supposed to do about this??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 13, 2020 at 3:29 pm

      Hi Ai, I wouldn’t even react to this, if his friends are calling you his back up take note. He is keeping you “there” so if things fall apart with the new girl he would come back to you. Read about being Ungettable and apply this to yourself. Start dating casually too so that he can see you have a number of other guys interested in you. Do not show any emotional when he speaks of his relationship or the new girl. Behave as if you are indifferent to what he says

  15. Avatar

    Shinese

    April 4, 2020 at 8:16 pm

    I broke up with my ex boyfriend of 9 months who I’m deeply in love with, 3 months ago after an explosive, painful argument. I was very hurt & angry and I told him to leave me alone because I was done & needed time alone. We initially still messaged each other and then it stopped for a month. I really missed & loved him so I reached out to him last night to rekindle our relationship when he told me that he is in a long term relationship with someone else and that we are over for good. He started a new relationship a month after I broke it off and I feel like he never loved me when we were literally planning our lives together, discussing marriage & children, buying a home, and in the process of living together. I feel so lost & alone.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 9, 2020 at 11:06 pm

      Hi Shinese, it could still be a rebound relationship. It really depends on how much time he has invested into the new girl. There is the option to implement the being there method make sure you read about it before reaching out to your ex again

  16. Avatar

    Ilivi

    March 30, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    My ex and I had been dating for a year and a half. We lived together for a bit of that time and we’re making huge plans for the future and marriage and such.

    Without going to add too much detail, I had a physical and emotional crisis with my body that we didn’t know about until the relationship had ended. He broke up with me because he couldn’t handle my emotions at the time.

    Been no contact for almost a month. It started on an angry note where I told him to not contact me unless he wanted to try again, and I later apologized, but there was no reply on his part.

    Less than two months after we broke up, he’s seeing a new girl. Posts her everywhere. Changed his profile picture to her. All of his pictures post break up are of her, and she looks exactly like me. He set his social media to unprivate so once I unblocked him, I would see him and this girl. He’s throwing her everywhere and is making sure everyone knows about it.

    He’s a relationship hopper and I was the only girl he dated for longer than 6 months. I’m overall confused as he’s doing things he never did while him and I were dating.

    I just need reassurance and I want this boy back

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 30, 2020 at 8:38 pm

      Hi Ilivi, so the posting on social media and “over doing it” is sometimes their way of trying to prove how great things are between them… usually this is overcompensation. So try not to focus on that too much. It is only social media. I would read up about the Holy Trinity, being Ungettable and focus on this for 45 days, so that their new relationship can pass their honeymoon phase. Then go into the Being There method. You need to read the articles and information Chris has provided for this so that you do it perfectly when you reach out to your ex again.

  17. Avatar

    Jodie Hampshire

    March 29, 2020 at 2:57 am

    Hi I was with my husband for nearly 10 years. We split up 18 months ago however we’d go around each other’s houses and still sleep together. 3 weeks ago he went to his mums wedding as met a women he briefly knew 11 years ago they spoke she’s married also to a friend of his he sees little off. After the wedding she started messaging him and they communicate all the time, she talks about the abuse she’s subject to at home, she just last night chucked her husband out the house, and told my ex she hasn’t stopped thinking about him and was checking on him from afar all this time 10 years. They are planning a relationship and it’s completely destroyed me as a person as he’s become sarcastic and horrible any advice would really help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 30, 2020 at 9:11 pm

      Hi Jodie, so at this point you would need to not sleep with him again, keep your distance so that he sees you are pulling back. Work on your Holy Trinity and focus on getting over your break up for the time being. If he is going to pursue the other woman then you are going to have to make yourself aware of how to follow the being there method

  18. Avatar

    Charlotte

    March 26, 2020 at 8:17 am

    Hi,
    So I was in no contact with my ex when I recently found out he is seeing one of members of staff from work. Is she a rebound?
    He broke up with me after 2 months of being together because he wasn’t over his ex and wasn’t ready for a relationship. I didn’t beg him to take me back but I did nag him for answers as to why he wasn’t ready etc. Then started no contact. Well now he’s with this new girl 4 weeks after he broke up with me and said to me ‘ I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship until I met her..’
    Our time together was really good and he fell for me hard so how can he move on so fast??
    Any advice would be appreciated!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 27, 2020 at 12:16 am

      Hi Charlotte I wouldnt take it personally, some people get hooked to the honeymoon phase where they end the relationship when things calm down and then move on to the next person. If you want to get this person back then you need to work on yourself to be the Ungettable to your ex and show him what he has lost by not being with you.

  19. Avatar

    Mary

    March 25, 2020 at 3:03 am

    I want to ask, usually guys dont come back after they have moved on. in my case, He has broken up with me last month, and 3 weeks after that (supposed to be our anniversary), he has a new gf and post ti instagram story to let everyone know. The funny thing is he deleted my picture (from behind) just a day before he post the story of his new gf (without a face), in a way I think he is putting up a show. but it has been a month since no contact, I’m just wondering if I ever have a chance? Im focusing to better myself, but I can see him getting better and moving on everyday (based on his spotify playlist where he listen to sad song less and less). I’m afraid when he has moved on, nothing I can do to bring him bacj. He also promised me before he wont come back. Is there a chance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 29, 2020 at 11:16 pm

      Hi Mary so as you have completed a month no contact make sure you reach day 45 and then reach out to your ex. Read about the being there method and how to implement it. There is also videos that have this information on Chris YouTube channel too

  20. Avatar

    YMB

    March 22, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    My husband and I divorced in March 2019. By the summer we were discussing reconciling, then in September his ex-girlfriend contacted him saying she was unhappy in her marriage, never stopped loving him, he’s her soulmate, etc. My ex husband and I spent the holidays together and New Years, then in January he told me he was in a relationship with his ex, as soon as her divorce was finalized they were getting married, he never stopped loving her, she was his high school sweetheart, the time was just never right for them, etc. The ex girlfriend has been married twice, started contacting my ex months before filing for divorce/separating, and even invited him over to her house while her husband was away for the weekend. 2 weeks ago my ex said we could no longer see one another because he felt like he was “cheating on his GF with his ex-wife and she doesn’t like our relationship” but a week later when I asked he came over to our house, spent several hours with me, telling me he loves me, how hard it is not to contact me, etc, he fell asleep while we were snuggled on the couch when I tried to move his arms tightened and he said he loves me again in his sleep. He called me when he fot home that night and we talked from 10p – 3am (on a work night!). I’ve tried to tell him this is a rebound w/his ex, a romantic fantasy that will not last, but I’m getting worried. She was his GF in high school for 4 months, he left the state after graduation and didn’t see her again for 13 years. When he moved back to town she was going through her first divorce. They started dating, moved in together, got engaged, then he called it off a few months later. That was 10 years ago. He said she’s been talking about him moving in with her sooner than later and said she wants to be married by the end of the year. I’ve told him to remember why he broke off the 1st engagement, why he walked away, but he says our marriage taught him how to be in a relationship, he’s learned to “deal with the things about her he doesn’t like,” they’re both older now so it’ll be different, etc. Aside from being a soap opera, is this classic rebound behavior or could it be the real thing?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 8:30 pm

      Hey there, so yes it does sound as he is rebounding, but also that he is remembering the past through rose coloured glasses. He thinks things will be different between him and this woman because of age. But she is going through her second divorce and already planning a third wedding before the end of the year. This does not sound healthy and to be honest can only end in disaster. HOWEVER, you can not tell him this, or show him this. It could end up being a lesson he has to learn the hard way. What I would suggest doing through is not having the intimate moments with him anymore. Have you followed a No Contact? That might show him that you are allowing him to move on and you start dating casually. He may then realise you are not going to be sat at home waiting for him to come back to you when he misses you and all this has gone wrong.

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