There’s a “rebound relationship” checklist that I use for every client that comes to me when another person is in the picture with their ex.

And today I’d like to share it with you.

You’ll find that the 6 signs that I talk about in this article are different than what some of my peers are telling you.

This is by design because I want you to understand the reality of the situation you’ve found yourself in and I’m not interested in lying to you to make you feel better.

So, with that in mind let’s begin!

6 Signs That Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship

Below I have compiled the checklist that I use for my personal coaching clients who ask me if their ex is in a rebound relationship,

  1. How quickly did it take for your ex to move on?
  2. How long your ex has been dating that new person for?
  3. Does your ex have a history of jumping from relationship to relationship after a breakup?
  4. Is your ex exhibiting a bit of the grass is greener syndrome?
  5. Have you considered the differences between stability and excitement?
  6. Is your ex showing off the new person to you to rub it in your face?

Now, if you are familiar with my work on Ex Boyfriend Recovery then you’d know that I am really big on giving you in-depth reasoning.

So, what I’d like to do is take a few minutes and expand on what each of these signs actually means.

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1. How Quickly Did It Take For Your Ex To Move On?

In case you were wondering Psychology Today has gone on the record and defined a rebound relationship as,

A person getting into a relationship shortly after their previous one ends.

I’ve actually found that reality is a little more sinister than that when dealing with exes.

In fact, what no one usually tells you about an ex “going on the rebound” is that they typically meet that rebound when they are still in a relationship with you.

Basically they start forming some type of emotional or physical bond with them while they are still committed to you.

This introduction of a third party into your relationship can sometimes be enough to cause the breakup itself,

This leaves your ex pretty happy initially with the new person and you pretty devastated, searching the internet for answers.

Sound familiar?

Here’s my point.

We are here to look for the signs that an ex is on the rebound and one of the most important things to take a look at is how fast it took for them to move on to the new person.

As a general rule of thumb the quicker they move on the more likely it is to be “a rebound.”

That’s what all of my peers are going to tell you and I will agree with them on that.

But what about that situation I discussed above?

What about if your ex meets this new person while they are with you?

Is it a rebound then?

Well, that’s why we don’t hang our hats only on one sign.

2. How Long Has Your Ex Been Dating The New Person For?

About a month ago I filmed a really interesting video on YouTube that tackled one of the most asked questions I get by clients,

“How long does the average rebound last for?”

I answer that question in the video and write up below,

Now, the interesting thing I found when I went to Google and started searching for the answer was that no one really had any data on how long rebounds lasted for.

People had guesses…

And a few of my peers who I won’t name were quoting ridiculous things like,

“60% of rebounds last less than three months”

Never mind the fact that when I actually did a fact check on these statements I couldn’t find any proof to back them up.

So, seeing as how there wasn’t any research that I trusted I decided that I would create the research for myself.

So, I went out and did the following things.

  1. Looked at my own internal notes on how long it took for a rebound relationship to end
  2. I went to every forum I could think of and compiled the data from what people said
  3. I went to every answer website that had written an article on the topic and scanned the comments to see if I could learn anything there.

The whole process took me a good 3 hours.

Now, my goal with all of this was to create a benchmark for my clients who were wondering at what point a “rebound” turned into a “real” relationship.

I wanted to put a timeline on it. I wanted to be able to point to something and say,

“You can expect the average rebound to last (x) amount of months.”

Turns out that when you compile all of the research together you get the following number,

5.2 months

Now, does this mean that your ex and his new person is going to break up at exactly 5.2 months?

No.

However, it gives us a benchmark to grade sign #2 on.

Generally speaking if your exes “rebound” has lasted longer than 5.2 months that is starting to get into more serious territory.

3. Does Your Ex Have A History Of Jumping From Relationship To Relationship After The Breakup

This is an often overlooked factor when it comes to determining if your ex is in a rebound relationship or not.

By simply looking at your exes past you might be able to determine if them jumping into a rebound is common or not.

It’s not exactly rocket science…

But let me throw some fascinating knowledge your way.

Do you think getting into a rebound relationship is healthy?

Think carefully before you answer.

Most of your friends and family will tell you that it’s not. They’ll sit there and say that it simply distracts a person from dealing with the necessary emotions that they need to deal with to move on from the heartbreak.

Well, recent research as early as 2014 suggests that actually getting into a rebound relationship can help your ex get over you and start to feel more confident.

This flies in the face of everything you’ve been told growing up.

Basically getting into a rebound relationship can be one of the best ways to get over a breakup.

Now, you may be sitting here and wondering,

“Why the heck are you telling me this?”

I’m telling you because love, breakups, lust, heartbreak, anger, sadness, depression… they are all nothing more than emotions created as a result of chemicals being released or regulated by your brain.

Well, that’s the scientific way of looking at it.

But I think it’s important to consider the scientific view for a moment.

If your ex is heartbroken as a result of a break up with you wouldn’t it make sense for the brain to protect itself by finding someone as soon as possible so that it can release the right chemicals to help you get over your heartbreak sooner?

Now, I don’t want to get into a philosophical discussion on fate or free will here but to me it makes sense that your ex may not even be aware of the reason they are dating a new person. They just simply feel that it’s what they have to do.

I’ve talked to a lot of men and women going through breakups and the one common thing that I hear from them when I ask them why they jumped into a relationship so quickly is,

“I don’t know…”

I used to think that they just didn’t want to tell me so they were just giving me a lame excuse.

But the more I sat on it and considered I began to believe that they probably have no reasoning for why they are wanting to go to the new person. They just know they have to do it. Well, it could be that their sense of self doesn’t know why they need to do it but their brain does.

So, like an unseen force working behind the scenes it draws them into another relationship.

Why?

So that it can give the body the chemicals it needs to get over a breakup sooner.

4. Is Your Ex Exhibiting The Grass Is Greener Syndrome

The grass is greener syndrome is one of those buzzwords that everyone always talks about but I honestly don’t think anyone understands the dynamics of it.

When you think of the grass is greener syndrome you probably start thinking about an ex who thinks they can do better than you, right?

But what if I told you that we are always looking to find a bigger better deal in our relationships.

The interdependence theory posits that we commit to each other based on costs and rewards.

In other words, we are always looking to get rid of people who cost us things and find the people who reward us the most.

Now, here is the wild part.

When researchers started trying to understand how interdependence played into relationships they learned that three huge factors come into play.

  • Satisfaction: how satisfied we are with the relationship in question.
  • Alternatives: Is there another person out there who can satisfy us more than the person we are with?
  • Investment: how much have we invested into the relationship?

Now, I don’t know about you but “Alternatives” sounds a lot like the grass is greener syndrome to me.

One consistent theme I see with exes who move on to someone new is they have this unshakeable belief that they can do better than you.

However, a rebound really isn’t a rebound until that new relationship ends is it?

How The Honeymoon Period Plays A Role Into GIGS

Now, what do we know about new relationships?

Well, we know that every new relationship will go through this period of time where the world looks a little like this to them,

Basically, we view our relationship through rose colored glasses and believe our partner can do no wrong.

So, lets swing around to your ex and their new rebound.

When they are really determining if they made the right choice in breaking up with you (assuming they did break up with you) they are going to be comparing how they feel with the new person to how they felt with you.

And it’s obviously going to be better.

Why?

Well, the new person has an unfair advantage.

Your ex is looking and comparing based on how they feel during the honeymoon period so it makes sense that your relationship won’t compare.

But the one constant in this world is change…

And that even applies to how we feel in relationships.

So, often what I see happening is that when the honeymoon period ends your ex does this internal calculation in their head and that’s when the true grass is greener syndrome comes into play.

That’s when they’ll really sit there and ask themselves,

“Is the person I’m with really better than (insert your name?)”

5. Consider The Difference Between Stability And Excitement

A few weeks ago I was reading an article on “The Atlantic” that Esther Perel wrote.

Now, if you don’t know who Esther Perel is then you need to stop everything you are doing right now and check out her website and watch this video,

In my opinion, the woman is a savant when it comes to understanding infidelity.

Now, let’s be honest.

Infidelity is a really dark topic and you may be sitting around and wondering why the heck I am talking about it when this article is about rebound relationships. Well, in my view there are a lot of similarities between someone who is having an affair and someone who is jumping into a rebound relationship.

After all, most of the rebound relationships I encounter are actually beginning while your partner is still with you.

But we are getting off topic here.

One of the most fascinating findings that Esther Perel has been championing is that one of the underlying causes of why we cheat on our partners is due to the fact that there isn’t enough excitement in their relationship.

They can love each other deeply but contrary to popular belief love doesn’t conquer all.

Within every man lies a need for excitement and stability.

Now, after working one on one with clients for half a decade I’ve come up with something to fully describe this need for excitement and stability

Stability is the opposite of excitement…

And excitement is the opposite of stability…

And yet we need both to feel fully satisfied in a relationship which will then help in preventing us looking elsewhere.

So, ideally we are always trying to bring this perfect balance of stability and excitement to our relationships but something tells me that when you look back on your time with your ex this might have been problematic.

For example, you might have been a little too stable and not exciting enough,

This isn’t good because what happens then?

Well, that’s where your ex will take a step back and start looking for an alternative that can bring more excitement into their life.

Of course, the reverse is also true if you are too exciting/unstable in a relationship,

You see, I have this really interesting hypothesis that in general people veer a little more in one direction than the other. Take me for example. I am not overly attracted to someone who always wants to go on adventures and is extremely outgoing.

However, there are times in my marriage where I want my wife to be that way.

I want her to be spontaneous and exciting.

But at my core I always value stability a little more.

So, the reality is that I think we are always trying to achieve a perfect balance of excitement and stability but the fact is that we always prefer one a little over the other.

6. Is Your Ex Showing Their Rebound Off To You?

Our Private Facebook Group has special terminology for rebound relationships.

They call them,

OW’s = Other Women

The OW did this…

The OW did that…

You get the picture.

Well, one interesting thing I notice on there is that they become so obsessed with the other woman and what she’s doing that they completely forget to look at things from a broader perspective.

Last year I was working with a client and her ex boyfriend had gotten an “OW.”

Obviously, I gave her this checklist (excluding this particular sign) to look over and determine if her exes new woman was indeed a rebound relationship. She determined that the new girl was but she ended up throwing me off my game when she asked me a question that I was not expecting,

“Chris, he is literally asking for my advice on how to handle her in different situations”

Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I have heard of this happening a lot but what threw me off my game was the fact that I had an instant lightbulb moment,

You see, before when a client would ask me this question I’d just immediately assume they were being friend zoned but what if they weren’t.

What if the ex was literally asking them questions about the new girl to not only throw it in their face but to gauge their reaction to see if they were still interested.

Well, the only way for me to find out was to actually go to the clients that I had helped successfully win their exes back who had rebounds and ask them if their exes exhibited this behavior.

It turns out that half of my clients said that their exes did this exact thing and half of them said they hadn’t.

That’s pretty significant.

Significant enough to add to the list.

So, our list of five became a list of six and we have strong evidence to suggest that if your ex is throwing their new relationship in your face it is a sign that, that relationship is a rebound!

I Want To Talk To You For A Bit

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’ve been undergoing a lot of internal changes here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

What do I mean by that?

Well, I’ve determined that a lot of our old content is… well, old.

It’s outdated and my views have changed on it. So, rather than writing new content covering the same ground I am going back and updating it. Just like relationships the content on our website is a living breathing thing and it needs to change as the times change.

So, I am going to make a commitment to you.

Every year as I learn more about what works and what doesn’t work I am going to come back and update this content. In addition, I’ve made a personal commitment to do my best to respond to every comment that I get.

So, if you want to a quick take on your situation just ask me a question in the comments and I’ll try to get back to you within 24 hours!

Sometimes life gets in the way but usually I am pretty good about it.

Citations and Sources:

2,739 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. Lisa

    October 14, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    I was with my ex for almost 4 years we were in LDR and finally came to same university but only spent about 6 months together in university before break up we fight a lot at the same time loved each other a lot and I still remember everybody gets jealous seeing us both but once he came university he was quite close with a girl in his class I had an instinct that it wasn’t going to be good so I talked to him about that and he stopped talking to her but eventually they started talking back I saw them getting attached so fast and we had some rough time after coming to same university and that’s when he decided to leave me surprisingly he started dating her within 2 or 3 weeks its going to be a year since we broke up and since they started dating it’s very hurtful to see them together since we are in same university he is going around with her with no guilt bcz he believes it’s all my mistake I realised I made a lot of mistakes while in relationship but I do no cheat I was just too egoistic and fight over everything which maybe leads him to fed up of me but why after 4 years all this while he could manage me and right after a girl came into his life he left me saying I’m difficult to be handled

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 14, 2018 at 9:13 pm

      Hi Lisa!

      4 years is solid and build roots that can help you later. Everyone makes mistakes, so don’t beat yourself up. Got pick up my program book and help yourself with improving your odds.

  2. Braimah azeez

    August 30, 2018 at 1:26 am

    Hi, my name is azeez, am a Nigerian…i dated my ex for about four and half years but during these years we have been battling with infedility especially from her angle and that has been going on all through the years we were together..
    I never stopped her from keeping male friends which intentionally and eventually she ends up sleeping with each and everyone of them… When I tried putting an end to her friendship with the male sex she would complain and tell everyone including her friends and family that I am constraining her and abusing her rights and freedom as a woman..to make matters worse she would complain of my lack of trust for her as if she forgets what she does with them… Just a month back she was seen with another guy whom she introduced me to as “just a friend” house while I was away for my I.T…confronting her about it she caused a stare and demanded for a breakup from me of which I refused and then she filed for it herself… I was left heartbroken and shattered… I really have lost so much during the course of the relationship and I feel I am the one that lost in all… What should i do about it

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 30, 2018 at 3:53 am

      First you should focus on your on healing. Take some time away from here. Don’t attempt to contact her for a while. My program is in part about advancing your own personal recovery, so explore it and learn to embrace activities and new routines that can help you thru this period.

  3. Andrea

    August 26, 2018 at 12:58 am

    Hey Chris
    My ex and I broke up after 1 year of being together. We were stressed as I was financially covering for everything for a few months until he got back onto his feet. After 3 months of back and forth confusion he finally tells me he’s seeing someone. Then he tried to play it off saying he’s dating around after he saw the pain in my face. He told me I looked great in every way. He then said he’d like to bump into me to help me with adjusting my back, since I have a terrible back. I’m severely confused and I just don’t understand. Is he just being nice or is it that he can’t let me go ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 26, 2018 at 1:21 am

      Hi Andrea…yes…personal stress and financial issues can all conspire to put pressure on a relationship. I think you should roll right into No Contact. Make sure you have a solid ex recovery plan so you know what to do along the way!

  4. Lisa

    August 16, 2018 at 11:07 pm

    Hello, ex of 12 years 3 children. Proposed then left 4 months later. He went straight into a relationship with someone he knew, who is my complete opposit. He has now turned into a completely different person to the one I was with. Has been with this woman for 3 and half months now . But for the last 2 months has been telling me he wants to come back. Have tried doing limited contact but at times, but he will out of the of know where message me abuse , more I ignore it the worse it gets . This is out of character for him and was never like this when we were together. No hardly sees his children saying he hasn’t had time . The longer he’s with her the worse he seems to be getting. I would love for him to come back and be the person he was. Bit I really don’t know what to do . Is he just telling what I want to hear, so I’m hid back up plan or does he want to come back but don’t know how to without looking like the bad guy. ( friends and family stopped speaking to them be cause of how it started so don’t think he wants to look like he make a mistake… Maybe lol I’m just guessing )

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 2:11 pm

      Hi Lisa!

      I could be a rebound. Sometimes guy have to learn the hard way. 12 years grows roots and that is difficult to step away from, except they don’t know that sometimes until later when they have lived some life. His abusive messages are probably a reflection of his confused state of mind. It doesn’t excuse them, but that might be where its coming from.

      Perhaps a continuation of limited contact will be best and meanwhile, you can do things to continue to focus on your own recovery and reinforcing your own value. Take a look at some of the resources and tools I talk about on my home page as they should help you.

  5. Alex

    July 29, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    How do I look a your response from a pervious post?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 30, 2018 at 3:19 am

      I think you may have to go to that actual post.

  6. Mary

    July 29, 2018 at 2:41 pm

    Hi Chris!
    So I went through a confusing breakup with my ex 3 months ago.. there was no closure and he told me I was the best girlfriend he’s ever had… There were no signs of the relationship struggling at all. We were one day away from moving into a house together and start a new chapter in our lives. He always talked about marriage and kids and brought it up and I always went with it.. So, I followed the no contact rules and didn’t hear from him until 3 weeks later.. he then messages me to ask when I was available to meet him halfway to get my things. When I met him weeks later, I was short and acted like I didn’t care. We hugged and he teared up and said the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you. The only reason he gave me when he broke up with me is we weren’t compatible and we argued or snapped when we pick on each other. I found that very bizarre. There was no contact initiated after that. Almost a week ago I accidentally sent a snapchat to him and he replied. I said sorry it was an accident and he said no worries. I said hope all is well and he said likewise. Then I asked him about the house. He said it was nice but a lot to keep up with. I told him that I am happy for him and the new house. He said thank you. I said maybe I can see it one day and he replied yea maybe one day. So this was less than a week let me remind you. I wake up this morning to see a picture he posted on social media of him and this girl and he FINALLY removed our photos yesterday of us and posted this new one with this new girl. Not 100% that they are dating, but he doesn’t randomly post pictures of him and girls.. It has been 3 months since he broke up with me… I know this is a lot to take in and consider, but I am so confused as to what this means. Has he moved on or is he trying to rub it in my face.. What am I to think/do??

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 29, 2018 at 3:37 pm

      Hi Mary…I know what you mean. Breakups can be confusing, but when there were no signs of trouble, that makes it really hard to process. Could this new girl be a rebound? Is it serious? Should you give up? I don’t think you give up the hope, but its important to move forward and heal and know that whatever happens, you will be find. So go to my home page and tap into some of the wonderful tools and resources I make available to folks like you. Check out my ebooks that focus on your needs. We are here for you.

  7. Anna

    May 9, 2018 at 7:54 am

    Hey Chris,
    I was just informed from one of my distant friends that my ex boyfriend is in another relationship. I just started slowing getting off of my feet and now my heart is broken again. We broke up in December after being together for 7 months. Our relationship was beyond perfect. Our families and him always said we were made for each other. It was a very mature relationship and we both were head over heels. He’s a hunter and things got messy when we couldn’t see each other because our work schedules didn’t match up and he was gone every weekend. He told me in January that he was never coming back. February came and he was begging for me for an entire week. I replied after a week but he was mad at and told me to move on. March came and he texted me a message about my step dad in which I replied saying he should contact my step dad if he needs to talk to him and how I have no hard feelings against him and that I have forgotten about our situation. I haven’t heard from him since then. I haven’t contacted him either. I am so broken hearing about his new girlfriend. Is she a rebound or is he really over me? What do I do? I am heartbroken.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 10, 2018 at 1:55 am

      Probably so Anna…his following up with you on those occasions suggest he still has feelings. Just take some time to focus on your own recovery. There are lots of things you can do to help yourself….many of which are covered in my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. With time, you will have a greater perspective about just how important he is to you and your life.

  8. Sam

    May 9, 2018 at 4:48 am

    My ex and I have two kids and were together for 7 years. he was seeing another woman he met at the gym behind my back for over a month. We were still intimate 2 weeks ago when I found out. This isn’t the first time he has done this. So my ex packed all his things and moved out. For a week I cried and was in a depression. But this past week I have really been following the no contact rule. So this “OW” calls me and fills my head with a bunch of things saying that he stays there every night and they have alex everyday. She even stated that my kids are there when he has them on the weekends. Now he won’t claim her to me and I can’t tell what she is lying about because she also stated she wanted to talk to me because she thinks he might be seeing someone else also. I guess I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around what exactly is going on and the depth of “their” relationship. Is this a rebound or is the real deal. She is my age and also has two kids if her own. They had been talking 1 month before I caught him cheating and that’s when he moved out. I want him back but I don’t know how serious things are between them. Do you have any advice? He acts like everything is wonderful with him when I do have to see him to exchange kids. But during the no contact when I ignore him he will text a few more times then stop again after no response. How do I get him back? Or know if this is a rebound relationship? I need help!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2018 at 5:10 am

      Hi Sam…I am very sorry for your pain. Having some space between each other is important right now because you should be focusing on your own self recovery and healing and your children. Who really knows what he is up to and is doing. And you sure don’t need this other women crying on your shoulder about all this. Use this time to learn to live independently from emotionally and every which way. I am not saying this where all this will lead as no one really knows the future. But it serves you to be pragmatic and look out for your own mental healthy. As time goes by, you will likely draw closer to your feelings about what is really in your best interest. Right now, emotions are flying high and that is understandable. I wrote a book called the “No Contact Rule Book” that you might want to pick up (website menu/products section). It covers everything on would want to know about the NC process and has a lot of information about self recovery tactics.

  9. Sara

    May 8, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    Hi, I was in a long distance relationship with a guy I met online for a little over a year. Time really didn’t define our relationship because we had a connection since we started talking, and we spent a lot of time talking on the phone and facetiming. The biggest downfall in our relationship was that we did not know when we could meet each other in person. However, throughout the time we were together, our goal was to do our masters programs together in the same city since we were graduating college during the same semester. Things were going well except that we got into small fights as a result of our circumstances – distance made communication more difficult. I also think it was getting more difficult because we were leaving the honeymoon phase and although we were both emotional invested in each other, we were not able to express through actions and not words what we felt for each other. About a month ago, we had a normal conversation in the morning, but then all of a sudden I began to feel weird, and incapable of talking to him. For the whole day I didn’t text him, and at night we had a phone call with a lot of tension. The next day after some thought, I suggested that we have a break and come back after we had some time to clear our minds and focus on the present, because thinking so far in advance about meeting and having the uncertainity of not knowing when, was beginning to become toxic. He responded that he had been thinking about it too and that it would be best if we had the break. But after some time, he told me he actually wanted us to break up. The break up lasted for about 2-3 weeks because for a while he told me he felt very confused and didn’t know how he felt. Eventually he told me that his feelings for me had started to fade gradually, and that the pain and uncertainity of not being with me was getting to him. Later he told me that we broke up because things got complicated in our relationship. However, 2 weeks after our break up he seemed to be happier and told me he was already talking to someone. He said he didn’t like her when we were together, so I am not sure whether or not it is a rebound relationship. He told me that he still wants to be friends in the future when it is possible, and that he would like to look for masters programs with me in the future. It’s been a month, and I asked him if I could call him recently. He said that he would prefer texting because he doesn’t want to hear me talk about our relationship again. The few times that we have texted on friendlier terms, we have talked about other things besides our friendship. To me it hasn’t been weird, but he says that it’s still weird for him to talk to me, and the way that he communicates with me makes it seem like he doesn’t care about me anymore. I feel more confused than ever because I don’t know what I did to make him feel like he can’t talk to me the same way anymore, and as much as I think it would be healthier to be friends instead of being in a long distance relationship, I feel the need to understand his behavior towards me when it seemed like we ended on good terms.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2018 at 3:23 am

      Hi Sara…thanks for visiting. I know LDR can be hard on a couple in so many ways. I think it would serve you to just take some time away from him, a form of No Contact. You should do this as much for yourself as one would do in their effort to get an ex back. At the the end of your no contact period, your feelings and thoughts about what you want going forward will likely crystallize. During this time you can focus on your healing and recovery. I have written an ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book”, that might be of interest to you as it is full of recovery tactics when dealing with what you are going through (learn more at my website Menu/products section). Neither of us know the future as to how things might transpire with this person. Maybe he is wanting to move on. Its unclear to me, but what you describe sounds like a guy who is not as invested in you as you are in him. So give yourself some time to reassess, likewise he too will have time to reassess.

  10. Gracie

    May 8, 2018 at 11:05 am

    My ex broke up with me at the start of January this year out of the blue. He been under a lot of stress at work before the holidays. When we broke up he didn’t really give me an explanation other than he was too stressed at work to put focus on a relationship and said a relationship wasn’t the right thing for him. We tried no contact for a while but it didn’t work for us. I found out he had gone on a few dates but nothing serious. We stopped speaking after that to give me some space. About 2 months ago, a woman who I don’t know shared a photo of me and him from his Facebook profile to hers. I’ve no idea why she did this! We had mutual friends who informed me what happened. I contacted my ex to see why this happened and he admitted he was seeing this person and she did it by mistake but i think she did this to get a reaction from me. She’s the complete opposite of me in every way. About 5 weeks ago they put it on Facebook that they are in a relationship, he admitted they’d been together since mid February so they got together 6wks after we broke up. There’s been no contact at all between me him for the last 5wks until this weekend. I went back to the gym after being out for 7wks due to an illness. And he was there with her. This was a big aspect of our relationship working out together on Sunday mornings. It did hurt a bit but I’m ok with it, I’ve definitely grown during NC. It was very awkward he kept looking at me and even left the main gym area for a period of time when I started my workout. They came back out again and she wasnt pleased to see me at all. It seems he has adopted the same routines we had with her. I’ve used the NC contact rule to improve myself. I’ve got a new haircut, lost some weight etc. Does this girl sound like a rebound?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Hi Gracie…it could be a classic rebound relationship. Time will reveal the truth and meanwhile, you can keep doing things to enhance your value. You have picked up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” right? If not, go take look because it is intended to help you through this whole process. Also, the “No Contact Rule Book” might be a good match for you because it goes into so much detail about how you can optimize your chances and also all the things you can do on the self recovery side of the equation (available at my website Menu/Products link). The idea is to keep building value and leaving him little breadcrumbs to remember you by. Let me know how it goes for you Gracie!

    2. Gracie

      May 8, 2018 at 4:50 pm

      Thanks Chris I’ll check that out! I just noticed today that he has blocked me both Facebook and Instagram which he has never done before.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2018 at 3:39 am

      Hi Gracie…well…this is not unusual. Its just a passive aggressive thing guys do sometimes. He is just a bit fussy right now

    4. Gracie

      May 9, 2018 at 8:08 am

      Yeah that’s what I thought too. His new girlfriend has also blocked me since I seen them together at the weekend. Thanks again Chris

  11. Erica

    May 4, 2018 at 10:51 pm

    My ex left me at 7 months pregnant out of the blue. I was supposed to move out to Texas with him from Alabama, we were weeks away from getting married and he up and just left. He said “he needed time” I was heart broken because he’s in the army and we’d been part for 3 months, should have been plenty of time. I went through January crying and wanting him back, February came and I did no contact. He was in training anyways so he didn’t have a phone. He started talking to a new girl at the beginning of March and came home for our daughters birth and spent the whole 2 weeks time with this girl. He acts like he’s obsessed with her, he tells me that I need to get over the fact that our baby will be around this new girl. I’m just wondering if this is a rebound. I’m so lost, we were together for almost 2 years. Him and her have been together for a month and a half. I have read the articles about getting an ex back while pregnant and the one about the military! What are your thoughts???

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 4:19 am

      HI Erica. I am so sorry for you pain. But the bright side of this story is you have a beautiful baby. Your focus should be about your own healing and the beautiful relationship with your child. Be sure to draw upon your support system (family and friends) to help you. You cannot count on him or trust that he will return to you. Maybe it is a rebound, but trust has been damaged and you should take this time to not only heal but reflect on what is important to you. Right now, your feelings are probably justifiably all over the place. As time goes by, you will gain greater perspective. One way or another, he will likely always be part of your life given your child. But remember,while you may not see this now or agree, you really don’t need him to be happy. Our happiness should never be dependent on any single person.

  12. chana

    May 1, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    There are a few problems here. We have established that the relationship is a rebound. My ex and I shared an impeccable bond but over time our relationship and individual lives lost stability. He found comfort in one of his friends and they have been seeing each other for months. We broke up in November. He has been back and forth with deciding if he should stay with her or come back to me. He cheated with that same girl. Earlier this month he came over, we slept together and then he proceeded to tell me he’s in a relationship with the other girl. Now even though she is a rebound she offers more stability than I do because of the way in which we broke up, everyone of his family members knew and were involved. Therefore, why would he choose me? It was messy wasn’t it? So ideally, I should not chase him by messaging him after NC of which I am at 8 days because he has made his decision. I want him to rethink that decision, miss me alot, break up with her and try to win me back. These are merely fantasies and i’m certain none of those expectations will materialise. What is my gameplan? I do not want to chase, as I am the one that was dumped and he chose to be with someone else. Playing nice is not exactly the culture over here. Will their relationship progress into something maintainable? And what do I do to increase the chances of him chasing me?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 1, 2018 at 9:48 pm

      My best advice given the limitations of this comment forum is to consider the ebooks, resources, and services I offer on this site that will help you dig into this whole topic. Sometimes after an extended NC period, people realize they don’t want their ex back. Some people conclude the relationship was toxic and they gave their guy enough chances. I can’t say that will be the outcome here, but the NC period is mostly for you to heal. It’s suppose to be forward looking, without having to rely on the ex. And any game plan you execute should be the product of what you learn and think will be the best tactics for your situation.

    2. chana

      May 2, 2018 at 11:25 am

      After an extended no contact period i suppose he’ll also realise that he does not want me back?

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 1:29 am

      The future is always moving, Chana. You can’t control his choices, but you can largely control the things you do to recover

    4. chana

      May 3, 2018 at 2:11 am

      thank you

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 2:13 am

      Your welcome Chana

  13. Nadia

    April 29, 2018 at 12:36 am

    Hi Chris it’s Nadia again from the preview message, I recently hit up my ex I told him I want to work things out and he pretty much told me that he lost feelings for me but still cares about me and still wants to remain as friends I agreed we should be friends .we were talking on the phone for almost 2 hours just talking about what went wrong and told me he was just done with the arguments and there was just no trust. What confuses me is that he told me he lost feelings but still flirts with me told “who knows we might get back together “ i finally have him all over my social media and I still don’t know how to get my ex back or make him feel attracted to me again.. what should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 29, 2018 at 5:09 am

      Hi Nadia…I remember! There are many tactics you can employ…space…jealousy…Ungettable Girl. But the main thing is to realize that if the two of you do get back together, its going to take some time and following a well conceived game plan helps.

  14. keshah

    April 23, 2018 at 6:58 am

    hi Chris, im not sure if my ex is in a rebound because the girl he is interested (who is the complete opposite of me in EVERY way and it was a LRD) in now has a date on her Instagram bio which is 22days after we broke up. im suppose to finish my NC in 4 days and I read the EBR book and im finding it hard constructing the first text for some reason and on top of that this date has me all frack up again. Help please, I dont know what to do now

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      I think you need to focus on more on your own self healing. One’s emotions can take a hold of them and create a misbalance and loss of perspective and anxiety. My ebook serves as an excellent blueprint on how to proceed, so lean on it.

    2. keshah

      April 23, 2018 at 11:28 pm

      I’ve read the book twice now and for some reason after I saw the date , my brain is being so strange and I feel a little powerless right now. I have achieved a lot in these 27 days like I’ve become morw confident and im back to being the girl he fell in love with but with way more confidant in my looks. I’ve also managed to control my depression and negative thoughts more than ever and I know that was a little burden on the relationship. I am a little quiet around people , not touchy with guys and the girl is the opposite of me which was a little bit of a shock. most of the time I’ve the confidence that I will get him back because im pretty charming and I’ve done it on him the first time , which he believed was his doing but I had a crush on him before he liked me and made it look like in not all that into it. but then sometimes the negative thoughts take over for a bit and a crumble but that doesnt last for more than 30min.
      Is it ok if i take more than 30 days NC but not 45days?? and Could you be able to just check the text if it sounds ok once I’ve written it? I just need a little bit of a confidence boost by someone who is an expert rather than my friends who have said “he obviously didn’t love you if he jumped into a relationship so quickly””he didn’t have the respect or love for you to wait until you’re ok” as asking them for help is useless. And could you tell me the specific pages I should read again and again so I can help my situation. I know im asking for a lot again and im sorry but I feel like you are the only one who understands and can help

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 11:38 pm

      Hi again! Sure…up to 45 days could work. It seems you could use the time to get calibrated. You are always welcomed to stop by here and leave any questions. Maybe your friends are wrong. Maybe they are right. The only way to know is to give this your best shot and complete the process. You should re-read the section on initial Texts to send…and the section that talks about the Holy Trinity because your own healing is so important. Whatever happens, you will need to move forward with a healthy and happy mental outlook!

    4. keshah

      April 24, 2018 at 9:18 pm

      oh and he also still sends me goodmorning and goodnight snapchats, should i reply to the goodnight one, which he sends to me before I wake up , on the day I start contact ?

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 3:20 am

      Sure

    6. keshah

      April 25, 2018 at 9:49 am

      thank you so much Chris.
      this is the text im going to send him
      “hay, do you remember the name of that funny horror movie we watched about the possessed women and the strange priest, the one wouldn’t stop laughing at? i wonna watch it with a friend ” what do you think???

    7. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 26, 2018 at 12:12 am

      Try to shorten it up and don’t ask him what he thinks. Let him reply if he wishes. You are just laying out there a little breadcrumb to see if he takes a bite.

    8. keshah

      April 26, 2018 at 12:35 am

      oh ok so something like “hi , what was the name of the funny horror movie we watched about the priest and the possessed women ?? “

    9. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 26, 2018 at 2:39 am

      Yes…much better.

    10. keshah

      April 26, 2018 at 6:04 pm

      thanks Chris, I have replied to his goodmorning nd goodnight text today and im not sure when i wonna ask him this question bug im waiting to be accepted in the fb group as I purchased it and ask for proper opinions and help.
      do you think the reply was a good move?

    11. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 26, 2018 at 8:57 pm

      Hi Keshah….I do think it was wise to his messages. He is making a positive effort to connect, so you positively acknowledging his effort and I think that sets the right tone in a small way.

    12. keshah

      April 27, 2018 at 5:20 pm

      hai Chris!thank you for the help, I got a positive reply to my text and I thanked him for the name of the movie name just now. I should end the convo with that and contact him in 2 days right ? how should i contact him again ?? like with a hello or something simple?

    13. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 28, 2018 at 4:56 am

      The Texting Bible ebooks provides lots and lots of examples of the second kind of text and you will find some ideas on my site as well. It shouldn’t be something plain, like “hello”.

    14. keshah

      April 24, 2018 at 9:15 pm

      hi Chris! ok i read them and they make sense again . I wonna ask about if everything goes to plan but as we are LDR and we won’t be able to see eachother until sep , how would we do the date part? would be like skyping rather than going on dates but watching movies and doing things together? and would it be a good idea getting back before seeing eachother in real life ??

    15. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 3:19 am

      Occasional meetups would work. People do it all the time. Yes to Skyping also!

  15. Nadia

    April 20, 2018 at 12:48 am

    Hi Chris.. my Ex and I recently broke up a month ago we’ve been together for 8 months and we stopped talking because he didnt return my phone call and 2 weeks after the break up he blocked me on Instagram and started talking to someone else and it’s really hard because he doesn’t look at me at all at school and I’m still blocked til this day and he has told his friends he’s moved on and lost feelings for me he seems so happy and I just want to know how to get my ex back ,I feel like my ex really hates me.. what do I do ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 20, 2018 at 4:08 am

      Hi ya Nadia. One thing I know is even in 8 months, people lay down emotional roots and they aren’t pulled up and out so easily. So all this bravado from your ex could be short lived. I am sure he doesn’t hate you. You are a great candidate for picking up one of my ebooks that walks you through the whole breakup and re-attraction piece. Its like having a Companion Guide. I think Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro would be the best match for you because it covers the whole process and is quite comprehensive. So go take a look at it on my website (website Menu/Products) as I think it will optimize your chances. Be strong Nadia! I know its in you and be smart and come up with a plan based on my system.

  16. Milly

    April 19, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    I had a relationship for approx 2 yrs but we were still crazy in love when it ended. He ended because I had been talking with my ex (as friends only) too much in his opinion. He has been cheated on before and couldn’t take the insecurity and said he didnt trust me. So he ended it but said he still loved me. We didnt talk for 4 months, then he contacted me and asked to be friends. I said I had still feelings and needed no contact. Then we didnt talk for 7 more months. I tried to avoid seeing him out in the street. Then we ended up at the same party and talked a lot. I was drunk so acted pretty happy and uncaring but kind, asked him about work etc. When I was leaving, he followed me to the door and gave me a long hug and asked to talk to me the day after.

    We met the next day and he said he missed me and kept talking about nice situations from our past and I (I know it was stupid after studying your site) said I still had feeling for him and he said he felt something for me but wasnt sure what it was, but that it was a warm feeling. When I was leaving, he kissed me briefly. Then I talked to a friend who said he had a new girlfriend and they had been going out for 6 months but that he had talked about breaking up with her and not having enough feelings for her.

    I asked him about it the next day through text and he said that it was true but he hadnt wanted me to know about it. He said it was just casual dating with her and nothing serious and didnt want to say anything more, said he didnt want to talk to me about her. But he also said that he was not in love with me but loved me as a person and he did not want to get back together. He said hestill didnt trust me and thus could not love me. I sent some upset texts about how much I loved him and he responded kindly but dismissively. Then I happened upon your site.

    I waited a week and then wrote to him and said that I accepted that we should just be friends and that I was fine with it and would find love somewhere else when it was time for me, it was probably better that way that we were not together. He reponded kindly and then we texted for a few days. I tried to end the texting because I wanted to start the non contact but he kept asking questions about me and my life (still would ignore when I asked him things about his gf). Everything I wrote was kind and nice and short and not very personal. Very different from the overly obsessive and loving girl I used to be. After a couple of days of this, he started writing he wasnt feeling good about things in his life, but wouldnt tell me what. Then he suddenly wrote that he needed non contact for a while! I answered that it was fine and I hope he felt better soon and he responded heartfully that I was such a lovely person to care about him and he wished he could hug me. And then we havent spoken or written for around two weeks.

    Where do I go from here and what should I do to increase my chances? What are my chances? Sorry this was such a long post.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 19, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Milly…thanks for stopping by. And no, there is no such thing as a long post. If you need to share, always feel free to drop by. Indeed, you also might consider doing some journaling as writing things down and getting your thoughts to flow can help in so many ways as research reveals.

      It appears you guys have a good amount of history over time and he is still trying to lock in on his feelings and feeling you out at the same time. What happens next depends on you. A lot depends on what you want. I think the space that you both agree to will help you and he to gain a bit more perspective. If you indeed still want him back, then you can follow the plan I lay out in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro (one of several ebooks I have). It is a Companion Guide and is intended to help folk optimize their chances recovering their ex. You can learn more about it at my website Menu/Products link. I think the conditions of you reaching out to him in a week or two are good given the kinds of communications you both have had as of late. So go take a look at EBR Pro and keep me in the loop as to how things proceed for you!

  17. linda

    April 17, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    Hi Chris,
    This is long……
    Me and my boyfriend were together for over 3 years. a lot of break ups and make ups and fights. I’m 20 and he’s 21. About 2 weeks ago he broke up with me and his excuse was that we fight too much. We stayed in contact but then stopped talking to each other completely. about three days after we stopped talking he started calling me and asking me to add him as a friend on instagram. The next day he called me asking me tp buy a ticket to fly out to las Vegas.. I said no and he kept insisting, telling me he missed me, loved me, cared about me still.. Then he asked me if i had already found someone else and i told him i had not… So that same day a 17 year old girl he had talked top me about added me on snap chat and on facebook… Found it suspicious and i told him about it… He freaked out so right away i had a gut feeling he was talking to her. So i immediately sent her a message on facebook and asked her how long she had been talking to him and she told me five months and officially dating three weeks ago. So i sent her screen shots of the texts he was sending me that day and she sent me screen shots of their texts. They had hung out many times. One time even at a club where i picked him up from.. Anyway i told her she could keep him and i called him and confronted him. He was very mad at me for doing that and told me to leave him alone that he wanted something serious with her and i needed to move on. So i left it like that, i was obviously broken and i had no idea what to do.The next day i called him and he told me he wasn’t with her and that he just wanted time to think.He told me he wanted us too be friends… But then later that day the girl posted a picture on snap chat having dinner with him.( by the way she is very attractive) My mom was so upset, she got involved and sent him message. He ignored it completely. The next day he left to Vegas and I didn’t talk to him at all. I posted that night picture and videos of me having fun and he saw them. Then next day i called him desperately. He told me he would always be there for me as a friend and that was all… Later on that girl posted a video of them together from a while back so i confronted him and he said that video was from a while back when we had broken up.. So he then told her to delete it and she did…He also sent me a text saying she wasn’t his girlfriend… and out of anger i took a screenshot and sent it to the girl. Then he got more mad at me and told me to stop doing that. So i kept asking him if he was with her and would tell me not to worry about it..He would say that and him and I are just friends and that its none my business. So its obvious she’s with her. I called him the next morning(yesterday) he was till in Vegas and i cried, told him i loved and missed him and That i was so hurt.. and his response was just “mhmmm” and he said we were just friends and then he told me to fall asleep on the phone with him and after an hour i told him i had to go and asked him to call me back later.. and i haven’t talked to him since.. I deleted the girl from snap chat(she can see my post but i can’t see hers) but kept her on facebook. I have him on snap chat and facebook and he’s been posting snap chats of him in Vegas….. I need help!!!!!!!! What do i do… I love him and i never thought this was going to happen. When he called me to invite me to Las Vegas, it really seemed like we were going to get back together………. I NEEDD AdVICE please help. Do you think he wants to take her seriously??? Did he ever love me?? do you think he will regret his decision? He told me the day i founf out that he would never find a girl like me where he can be himself but that he wanted time.. I still love him and I’m so hurt… I don’t know what to do…………. Is she temporary or does he really want her? Why would he still try to fix things with me if he was with her and event invite me on a trip?????

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 17, 2018 at 10:59 pm

      HI Linda…being together for 3 years is some traction you can build on. Relationships of that length just don’t slip away easily. So there is a lot going on here. I think you would benefit from coming up to speed on how to deal with a breakup and manage situations involving rebound relationships and much more. Go click on my website Menu and check out the Products link. I have a lot of resources that may very well meet you needs. I think you need a comprehensive plan and that is something you can get from my ebooks. Let me know how things develop for you Linda!

  18. Emily

    April 15, 2018 at 11:33 pm

    Chris,
    I have been reading up alot on this site and have been following through with steps to get my ex boyfriend’s attention. When we broke up about two months ago, I have course did the wrong thing and started texting him to try to get him back. I finally stopped once I started reading that that was the wrong thing to do, and started the 30 day no contact rule. I counted out the days and made absolutely no contact with him. He did not text me until day 27, of which he told me that he missed me. I disregarded that comment and replied to his other comment asking how I was doing. We had a small conversation and then it ended. Long story short there have been other encounters and situations where I texted him but it was all light conversation. For instance, when he saw me at the gym, he texted me telling me it was great seeing me and that I looked good. Some of these conversations he was telling me that he was thinking about me a lot lately and listing many things that he missed about me. He even asked me if I was dating anyone. Once I finally got the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out, because he never asked me, he proceeded to tell me that he was dating somebody.. this was three days later. I asked a couple of questions but then I told him I am glad you are happy. A couple of days later at night, he texted me asking if we could just talk on the phone. I ignored him and texted him the next morning telling him I was asleep. He told me it was nothing he just wanted to talk. He never really reached out since, but I had texted him saying that I had some clothes over here that was his and he said not to worry about it. He seemed very short. Well then I thought about it and I realized that he has been telling me how he feels, but I haven’t, I have just been playing a game with him to test him. So I’ve been acting like I really haven’t cared. So I texted him a short paragraph just telling him that I never stop missing him I was just too scared to tell him but if he is happy then I am glad. I was tired of not being honest. Well he never responded that night, but the next day he asked me what I was doing and that he missed me. Well I didn’t see the text for about a half an hour later so I responded casually that I’ve been working. Well I got no response from him whatsoever. Two days later I see a picture of him with a girl. This girl that he mentioned to me after I had asked him a couple of questions when he told me he was dating someone, apparently he has been dating her two weeks after we broke up. I understand that this is textbook rebound relationship since at that point we were only broken up a little over month, but it upsets me that he has known this girl through a friend for a while. I just don’t understand why he would tell me he missed me, but then ignore me and post this picture for me to see. He never post pictures. I know I should just let him go, but I am just confused. Please give me advice.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 3:50 am

      Hi Emily…I think there is upside here. You guys are just not quite connecting in your efforts to find a consistent communication channel. It is possible for a person to have two conflicting thoughts at the same time. He may genuinely miss you, but also be curious about this other girl he is dating. Our minds work this way…sort of a cognitive dissonance….holding two conflicting thoughts. So it can be confusing. You might consider checking our our Coaching Services or one of my ebooks which provides a comprehensive game plan (found at website menu/Products). Relationships can get confusing and he can be searching through his feelings still, just as you are.

  19. Karen

    April 14, 2018 at 4:16 pm

    Sorry for the typos in my last comment. I meant to type that I did my best to remain calm and collected. Why would I try not to remain calm? lol!

    And to be clear, he’s the one that pursed me to be in a relationship with him in the first place. I originally said no because I wanted to focus on going back to school. He practically begged me to be with him in the first place.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 4:59 am

      Hi Karen…you have a wonderful sense of humor! He was lucky to have found you.

  20. Karen

    April 14, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    Hey Chris, I know you get a ton of messages, but I really need some type of feedback right now.

    My ex broke up with me two weeks ago on Easter. We had a bad arugment over a girl commenting on his IG. He refused to tell me who she waw and why she comments so much on his photos. He couldn’t even lie and say she was just a friend. It really made me upset and I yelled at him via text. He dumped me and blocked me on all social media for disrespecting him. Being the emotional idiot that I am, i call him a ton and beg him to please talk to me. When he finally told me to leave him alone, I did.

    The next day, I notice that he unblocked me. I realized I left my camera at his place and needed it back. I didn’t talk to him for a week, but then sucked it up and asked for my camera back. We argued a bit over text but nothing crazy. I had to take a 2 hr train ride down to his place to pick it up. While I was there, I did my best to not be calm and collected. We talked for a bit because we didn’t want to end things on bad terms. Even though we only dated for 3 months, we’ve been friends for over 12 years. The talk left me feeling good and I thought this was a good time to start NC.

    The next day he texts me that he can’t stop thinking about me and how he wants us to be friends. I continue NC despite of this. I had a rough week, but was really making an effort to focus on myself. I decluttered, practice mindfulness, etc. I was feeling good. Yesterday I noticed on IG that the girl blocked me. I never met this girl before. It gave me a really bad sinking feeling like I did something bad. It made me really anxious and my aniexty made me break NC to ask him what is going on. He said he had no idea and that I shouldn’t worry about it because IG “isn’t real life”. He was kind of busy when I called him, so we agreed to talk later. I added him on IG because I was willing to be friends with him.

    So I actually planned to have a tinder date that evening. We were on our second drink when I received another call from my ex. I was confused and told my date that it may be an emergency. When I answer, my ex is accusing me of harassing the girl over IG. I NEVER talked to her and done anything to her. With the alcohol in my system, it was making me really upset. I was at a bar so there was loud music when I was on the phone, so I kept telling him that I was out and didn’t have time to be harassing anyone. I started crying in public because of how angry I was that this girl was accusing me of things. First she blocks me out of nowhere, now this. Now he’s telling me to stay away from him. I told him that he’s known me for 12 years and I’ve never lied to him or done anything like this in the time that I’ve known him. He finally says that he believes me and maybe a friend of mine was doing it. I doubt it. I don’t know this girl, but she has a lot of IG friends. I don’t know what kind of drama she’s involved in, but I don’t want to be a part of it. My ex mentions that we’re still friends and that we’ll still hang out. Of course I was getting emotional and kept asking why he cared about her more than me and to promise me he wasn’t going to make her his girlfriend. He told me that he wasn’t true that he cared more for her, but he refused to make that promise. So we agreed to talk at a later time.

    Since I was crying, I just texted my date that I had to leave due to a family emergency and left. I felt like absolute CRAP that I was crying while walking home. i tried calling my friends for support but no one was answering. I then call him AGAIN and he asks me if I’m ok. I wasn’t ok, but he couldn’t talk because he sharing a bed with his kids and they were sleeping. I know this is stupid of me, but I was drunk. I’m so embarrassed by my actions from last night.

    Now it’s the next morning and I’m at a lost for words. Can I even start NC now that all this happened? I want to be honest and say that me getting back him isn’t a big deal. Maybe we weren’t good together and it was bad timing. I actually never got the spark that I felt with my last boyfriend, but it still hurt me knowing he was talking to another girl while we were together.

    We were friends for 12 years and I mainly want our friendship back. I just want to pretend that we never dated and go back to being platonic. But how can I do that if he thinks I’m some crazy person that begs and supposedly harasses someone who might be his new gf online? I feel so awkward because I’m still following him on IG, but he hasn’t followed me back. Please help.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 5:08 am

      Hi Karen. It seems everyone needs some space to let these emotions tone down. If you think you want him back, you will want a comprehensive game plan. So take a look at some of the resources and ebooks available on the website menu/Products link. 12 years is a heck of a long time, so I think it is likely you guys will work out something, if not on a love basis…a friend basis. Though I suppose we love our friends…but you know what I mean!

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