I have written about rebound relationships exactly one time on this website.

rebound

I wrote that post on July 27th of 2013.

Now, as you can tell it has been a long time since then and we are getting questions about rebound relationships on an almost daily basis. Except here’s the difference. With the article above I mainly focused on how to know if your ex is in a rebound relationship and how long it will last.

But I have been noticed that a lot of the questions I am getting about rebound relationships lately have been geared towards knowing if their exes rebound relationship will fail.

Usually it goes a little something like this,

Chris, my ex is in a rebound relationship. But I really think that it’s going to fail. How would I know?

After about the tenth question I got like this and even having my wife send me an email to write something like this,

screen-shot-2016-10-18-at-11-50-03-am

I decided to break down, put in the time and create a resource to teach people on how to know if their exes rebound relationship is destined to fail.

But before we start to do that I think it’s important to determine if your ex is even in a rebound relationship.

How Do I Know If My Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship?

Well, the long answer is to read this article.

But if I know people (and I know people) you guys probably aren’t interested in the long answer. Nope, you are probably interested in the short answer.

So, here it is.

Rebound Relationship- This is a romantic relationship that your ex enters into pretty quickly after your breakup.

In some cases your ex will start to date someone who they actually met while they were dating you.

Ouch, right?

So, that’s pretty much the short answer.

But here’s the crazy thing.

Society has stigmas that actually surround rebound relationships.

Stigmas like,

They are bad…

You should never get in one…

You get the picture…

But do these stigmas hold true?

Well, let’s find out.

Tackling The Stigmas

In 2014 two psychologists by the name of Claudia C. Brumbaugh and Chris Fraley released a paper called “Too Fast, Too Soon.” The goal of this paper was to actually do research on rebound relationships because little research had been done.

The results they found in their investigation actually went against most of the negative stigmas we have of rebound relationships today.

For example, they concluded that people in new relationships were more confident in their desirability and had more resolution over their ex-partner.

In other words, rebound relationships can actually be one of the most healthy things you can do after a breakup to get over your ex.

Now for those of you who just had a panic attack upon hearing this research,

panic-attack

Please calm down.

This is important information that you are going to be able to use to your benefit if you want to get your ex boyfriend back and I will talk about this later.

First though, let’s tackle the next question you are probably wondering in your head.

Will this rebound relationship your ex is in last?

What Are The Odds Of My Exes Rebound Relationship Lasting?

I am not going to lie to you.

I looked everywhere.

And I mean everywhere for concrete data on how long rebound relationships last for but I couldn’t find anything.

Therefore, I am going to have to lean on my own experience for you here.

In my humble opinion, most rebound relationships won’t stand the test of time. Usually the two people break up. I mean, think about that research I cited above.

Studies have found that men and women in rebound relationships feel more desirable and have more power of their ex. Nowhere in that research does it say,

And they lived happily ever after

Relationships where one party uses the other to get over an ex will rarely work and that’s essentially what is happening with rebounds.

Now, we are dealing with a very complex subject here so it would be presumptuous of me to sit here and tell you that I knew exactly when your exes rebound relationship would end.

However, I will say that there are three big data points that you can use to determine this yourself.

  1. The Seriousness Of Your Relationship
  2. How Quickly Your Ex Moved On
  3. How Long Your Ex Has Been Dating The Rebound

Let me expand a bit on each of these points

The Seriousness Of Your Relationship

We already know that your ex moving on and entering a rebound relationship is a step in the right direction for getting over you. Now, it’s going to be pretty darn easy to get over you by entering a rebound relationship if he only dated you for a month as opposed to a year.

Generally the more serious the relationship with you the harder it is to get over the relationship.

How Quickly Your Ex Moved On To The Rebound

I find this data point really fascinating because the quicker your ex moves on to a new relationship after the breakup the more it’s like he is saying that your relationship meant a lot to him and he needs to find a way to cure his pain.

Of course, the flip side of that coin is that the longer it takes him to move on the more he may actually be considering this new girl a worthy girl.

How Long Your Ex Has Been Dating The Rebound

I’ll use the KISS method here.

K – Keep

I – It

S – Short

S – Simple

So, here I go.

The shorter your ex is dating his rebound the more it means that it isn’t a serious relationship. The longer your ex dates the rebound the more serious it becomes.

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back Again With Our Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

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Ok…. But How Will I Know If His Rebound Relationship Is Imploding?

Ah, and now we get to the meat of this article.

Now, before I start to give you the signs you need to watch out for there is something important we need to discuss first.

It’s something I like to call,

Staying Present In His Mind

Look, as much as I would love to tell you that this is going to be an easy process it’s not. In fact, it’s made even more difficult when researchers come out with proof that moving on and entering a rebound relationship will actually speed up your exes process of getting over you.

Do you remember when I said not to have a panic attack about this and that we can actually use this to our advantage?

Well, it’s time for me to pay up on that promise.

The research I cited above didn’t take into account the strategies that I teach.

Imagine that there are two versions of you.

Version one takes the approach that most people take,

version-1

What’s the result of this approach?

Well, it’s probably going to end up with him moving on from you and from the rebound. Obviously that’s not what we want. I mean, sure, we want him to move on from his rebound but we want him to move on from his rebound to YOU!

So, let’s say that version two of you opts to take this approach,

version-1

It’s funny, yesterday I was telling my wife about the research I stumbled across that claimed moving on to a rebound was actually one of the smartest things you can do to get over your ex and she had a very interesting take.

I think that is true because if you are dating someone else your focus isn’t so much on your ex. It’s on that person or how dating that person makes you feel.

And she’s kind of right.

The reason that a rebound works to get over your ex is probably due to the fact that you aren’t focusing on your ex.

Of course, the opposite is also true.

If you get your ex to think too much about you during the rebound they aren’t going to necessarily be able to get over you which is kind of what you want.

So, one of the best things you can do is to do subtle things like staying present in your exes mind.

Now, I can already hear the chorus of people saying,

Ok Chris, but how do I do that?

Well, I spoil you guys enough with free content so I am going to save this strategy for my book,

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back Again With Our Step By Step Guide To Getting Your Ex Back

Learn More

(Hey, I have to save some of the good stuff for paying customers.)

Let’s move on and start talking about signs that your exes rebound relationship is about to implode.

Here’s What Will Happen If Your Exes Rebound Relationship Is Starting To Fail

Now, before I start pointing out specific signs I first need to tell you that we are actually going to operate under a specific assumption.

Going forward we are going to assume that you are doing the things I talk about in PRO to stay present in your exes mind during his rebound relationship.

Get it?

Got it?

Good!

The way I see it is that your ex is in a relationship with someone else.

Yes, it may be a rebound relationship but as far as the signs go that, that relationship is about to fail there isn’t too much revolutionary things that I can point to towards you.

Nevertheless, I have identified four distinct changes that you will begin to notice if his relationship is about to end with this new girl.

Are you ready?

Sign #1: Your Ex Starts Talking To You A Lot

Can I get personal with you for a moment?

I am going to tell you a rather embarrassing story.

It’s the story of my very first breakup.

Ok, so I believe I was 18 at the time and a senior in high school.

(Geez… that was almost ten years ago)

Anyways, I remember being so happy when I got my first girlfriend. I would pretty much bend over backwards to please her and for the most part things were going great.

However, that all changed around month two of the relationship when I saw she was texting on her phone to someone.

I casually asked her,

“Hey, who are you texting?”

To which she replied,

“Oh, it’s just Wilson”

She then went on to tell me that before she met me she had this major crush on a guy named Wilson but he had never reciprocated her feelings. Of course, now that she had met me she was head over heels in love with me blah blah blah.

All I heard of her explanation was this,

wilson

Now, I wasn’t exactly calm when I expressed that I was upset that she was texting this guy so she had promised that she wouldn’t do it anymore if it upset me that much.

And for the most part I didn’t hear too much about Wilson from that moment on.

Well, at least until right before our breakup.

A few weeks before we officially broke up I caught her multiple times texting this Wilson fellow. It’s almost as if she was setting up her next boyfriend in preparation for our breakup.

And essentially that’s exactly what happened.

After we broke up guess who she ended up dating?

WILSON!

So, what’s the point of me telling you this story.

Well, it’s the fact that if you notice your ex boyfriend pick up the pace when it comes to texting you then that could be a good sign that his relationship is almost at an end.

I mean, think about it.

What woman is going to be ok with her man constantly texting his ex?

I haven’t met many.

Sign #2: You Send A “Test Flirt” Text And He Takes The Bait

I think I am pretty clear throughout Ex Boyfriend Recovery with my stance on cheating.

My Stance = Cheating is bad and you shouldn’t ever engage in it.

I feel a need to re-iterate this stance because what I am about to recommend here is kind of in a grey area. It’s a bit risky because there is a temptation to throw caution to the wind and engage in cheating.

Look, you want your ex boyfriend back and that means you are at a high risk of doing something illogical.

The goal here isn’t to impose on his current relationship. It’s to simply test and see how serious he is about it. One of the worst things you can do on this earth is waste your time on someone who isn’t interested in you.

I am simply recommending a “test flirt text” to prevent that from happening.

So, what is this “test flirt text?”

The Test Flirt Text = You are going to send your ex a flirty text to see how he responds.

The goal here is to get information on how to approach things going forward.

I’ll give you an example.

Imagine that you were to send your ex boyfriend a text like this,

screen-shot-2016-10-20-at-12-16-06-pm

And he were to respond like this,

screen-shot-2016-10-20-at-12-17-19-pm

That might be a pretty good indication that he is currently happy in his relationship and is not willing to leave his rebound. Of course, if you were to send this text and he were to respond this way,

screen-shot-2016-10-20-at-12-20-10-pm

This would be an indication that things might not be perfect in his relationship.

Look, here is my thinking.

A man who is truly happy in his relationship wouldn’t engage in flirting with any girls no matter what. How do I know that?

Well, I am a guy who is absolutely happy in my relationship and I haven’t flirted with a girl in over three years.

Now, is this the “be all, end all” litmus test of whether or not your ex boyfriends rebound is on the decline?

No…

But that’s why we have the other signs I am about to talk about.

Sign #3: There Is A Pattern

I am not going to lie to you.

I really debated on whether or not I should even tell you about this one.

Have you ever heard that phrase,

Ignorance is bliss?

Well, the gist of the phrase is that sometimes it’s better not to know the truth as opposed to knowing it. That might be the case here. However, I have taken a sworn oath to be truthful to you so I am going to let you in on this fact.

If you notice that your ex boyfriend has a pattern of jumping from relationship to relationship without any breaks in between then it’s highly likely that his new fling is just that, a fling.

Of course, this is a double edged sword in the fact that if you notice your ex has a pattern you could be a part of that pattern.

I’ll give you a real life example to illustrate my point.

We have already established that a rebound relationship is a type of relationship that your ex enters into pretty quickly after your breakup. Now, what I am putting forth here is that there is a type of man out there who simply jumps from rebound to rebound and never catches his breath in between.

Why would he do that?

Well, it’s how he has learned to cope with the pain of a breakup.

Rather than dealing with it head on he uses another relationship to bury it.

Now, let’s compare that type of a man to me.

After my very first breakup I didn’t enter a relationship again for five years.

Now, I suppose some of you may say that I was scared to enter a relationship again and I am going to be honest with you. A part of me was. However, it’s not due to the fact that I was scared to get hurt again.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

I wanted to take my time to know exactly what I wanted out of a relationship. I wanted to make sure so that my next relationship was successful.

Do you see the difference?

I took the pain on and tried to use it productively.

Sign #4: They Talk About You

This sign sounds relatively simple, right?

I mean, all your ex boyfriend has to do is talk about you.

But I think it’s important to note that when I say “they talk about you” I am really referring to three things.

  1. Who they are talking to when they talk about you
  2. Where they are talking about you
  3. What they say when they talk about you

By looking at these three things we can get a gauge on whether or not he is still hung up on you. And I don’t think it takes a genius to realize that if he is still hung up on you then that means trouble for his current rebound relationship.

So, let’s look at our three things a little more in-depth.

Who Is He Talking To When He Talks About You?

Generally what you are hoping for is a close friend of his.

Now, why do you think you are hoping for a close friend of his as opposed to a close friend of yours?

Well, let’s assume that your ex boyfriend isn’t dumb and he has a brain. He probably understands that if he starts talking to a close friend of yours that it’s eventually going to get back to you. Now, compare that to a close trusted friend of his (which he doesn’t think will get back to you) and it’s that much more powerful.

Where He Is Talking About You?

Is he talking to someone about you on Facebook?

Did he make some bold claim about an ex lover on his wall?

Is he talking to someone about you in person?

This all matters.

Generally, I would say that having him talk to someone about you in person is a bit more powerful because there are things like facial expressions, tone and all that good stuff that you can pick up on to determine the validity of what he is saying.

But honestly these two signs pail in comparison to the big kahuna that is…

What Is He Saying About You?

I want to tell you a story about my ex.

It had been a few months after we had broken up and she had been dating a guy almost immediately after we broke up.

That’s when something very important happened.

My best friend in the world, Wes, got a phone call from her.

Interesting, huh?

Wes, was always one of those guys who women felt they could open up to and my ex, since she obviously dated me wanted to open up to Wes about something,

My new boyfriend… He just doesn’t pay attention to me. It’s not like when I dated Chris. Chris always paid attention to me and even though we fought a lot he was always there for me.

Now, since Wes was my best bud he obviously told me everything.

She was still thinking about me and she was about to end things with her current boyfriend.

Why do you think I told you this story?

Well, I told it to you because generally what someone says about you behind your back is what they truly think about you. So, in my case, if I wanted my ex back, this would have been a great thing to hear. But let’s imagine my ex had nothing but bad things to say about me.

Well, in that case then that’s probably not a good thing.

Sign #5: Social Media Presence Declines

We live in a digital age where Facebook and Twitter rule over almost all.

This is especially true when it comes to relationships.

But let’s switch gears for a moment.

You are aware of this idea of a honeymoon period, right?

Honeymoon Period: A period of time that occurs immediately after you start dating someone where your partner can do no wrong.

Chances are that when your ex first starts dating their rebound partner they are going through a rebound partner.

Breakups rarely occur when everything is all flowers and angels in the relationship.

Instead, they occur after the honeymoon period has ended.

And one of the best indicators that you can use to determine if things are calming down with regards to the honeymoon period is social media.

Now, I am going to admit that I don’t have research backing this claim up so take it with a grain of salt. However, what I am about to say has certainly held true throughout my life.

It’s clear that when you enter a relationship you are constantly tagging, posting picture and liking statuses on social media websites like Facebook.

And why wouldn’t you?

You have just started dating someone new and you are excited to let the world know.

However, no one can keep that up forever.

Eventually we all grow complacent in our relationships and we no longer do those cute things that we used to do.

Keep an eye on your exes profile and see if you start noticing a significant decline in his public communication with his current girlfriend. It could be a sign that the honeymoon period is starting to fade and that’s when a breakup could potentially occur.

119 thoughts on “Let’s Find Out If Your Exes Rebound Relationship Will Fail”

  1. Avatar

    Cris

    November 4, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    Hello,

    My ex bf and I knew and saw each other for 4 years. From the 4 years we were only bf/gf 6 months (happened 6 months into meeting each other) he broke up with me. We saw each other and did the exact same things as when we were bf/gf EXCEPT for seeing each of our families, we no longer hung out with our families since were weren’t oficial. In those 4 years we took a 3 month no communication break because he started seeing someone (we weren’t dating and that was a rule we set, if we started becoming interested in someone else we would respect that and give each other time). Of course I did t know he would come back as I thought it was going to be the end, but I believe it was a fling and a rebound as he saw her very shortly after he mentioned talking to
    Someone else. Now (two weeks ago) he started to become distant and I felt there was another girl in the picture (I know now that it’s a bartender) but he denied it and said that we just needed to move on from each other since he didn’t see our relationship goin anywhere if it hadn’t the last 4 years.

    Well exactly two weeks after I last saw and slept with him he slept with this bartender. We just talked on the phone and he said that he distanced himself because he didn’t want to talk to someone else while still seeing me.

    I am and have always been hung up with him, LOWKEY wanting him to change his mind about giving me another chance and giving a real relationship a try.
    I stated very clearly that I would back away and give him time once he started seeing someone else and I guess I was going

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 1:40 am

      Hi Cris, so you need to use the information you have on him, his hobbies his interests, what features he liked about you. And show your interest in mutual things and posting to social media and show him what he is missing out on by not being with you. And you do need to read about the being there method too so that you can place yourself in the right position when it comes to other women and the ex

  2. Avatar

    C

    November 4, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    Hello,

    My ex bf and I knew and saw each other for 4 years. From the 4 years we were only bf/gf 6 months (happened 6 months into meeting each other) he broke up with me. We saw each other and did the exact same things as when we were bf/gf EXCEPT for seeing each of our families, we no longer hung out with our families since we weren’t official. In those 4 years we took a 3 month no communication break because he started seeing someone (we weren’t dating and that was a rule we set, if we started becoming interested in someone else we would respect that and give each other time). Of course I didnt know he would come back as I thought it was going to be the end, but I believe it was a fling and a rebound as he saw her very shortly after he mentioned talking to
    Someone else. Now (two weeks ago) he started to become distant and I felt there was another girl in the picture (I know now that it’s a bartender) but he denied it and said that we just needed to move on from each other since he didn’t see our relationship goin anywhere if it hadn’t the last 4 years.

    Well exactly two weeks after I last saw and slept with him he slept with this bartender. We just talked on the phone and he said that he distanced himself because he didn’t want to talk to someone else while still seeing me.

    I am and have always been hung up on him, LOWKEY wanting him to change his mind about giving me another chance and giving a real relationship a try.
    I stated very clearly that I would back away and give him time once he started seeing someone else But he swore he wasn’t backing away because of that until I saw him with her with my own eyes.

    He was honest about it the first time he did it but this time he tried to hide this girl from me.

    We got into an argument about why he was dishonest and he said that he wasn’t thinking of sleeping with anyone else but because I stuck around while he was trying to breathe and “not feel tied down to someone who isn’t even his gf” he had to do it so I would catch the hint of moving on and that he also had to move on.

    He tells me he is going to take this girl serious and that in not any part of his future.

    So my situation is that he’s rebounding after an unofficial relationship but I think there’s no him coming back this time.

    Sad but there’s so much twists that I don’t know what to think and I don’t want to be hopeful but I wish he did (I feel this now and I hope it doesn’t last long because I also don’t think this is healthy for me)

  3. Avatar

    Alyssa Musgrave

    August 29, 2019 at 12:24 am

    So this one is kind of complicated and because of that I am not really sure what to do. So to start out O guess I should inform you that I have a little bit of a dark past. My parents were never really parents, I had to support them and my 4 other sisters. I got a job at 14 so that we would be able to pay the Bill’s as my mom wasn’t working or if she got a job she usually called off all the time and wouldn’t keep it for long. My parents are split and for most of my life I didn’t really have contact with him, in fact I couldn’t stand him. Anytime I did see him he either ignored me or he was physically/emotionally abusive. My grandparents on both sides were the same way though my grandmother on my mom’s side had favorites and I happened to be the last (She couldn’t stand my Dad and blamed me for my mom staying with him and marrying him because she accidentally got pregnant with me) so she treated me very poorly in contrast to my sisters who she spoiled. She would even go as far as locking me in a room for hours so as to not have to “deal with me” even though I was usually really quite and respectful so as to not get hit. Growing up the only person I was really close to was my mom and she eventually completely turned against me. She would tell me that I would be single and alone forever multiple times. I got mad once and asked why she would say something like that and she replied with “Look at you. Besides who would want to be with someone like you.” This lead to a big argument where I told her she couldn’t talk to me like that and she cornered me in my closet and choked me saying that “I brought you into this world and I can take you out.” Of course after this altercation I was done. This was right around the time I was getting ready to graduate highschool. My Dad and I, for the first time in our lives, had actually started talking. He apologized for everything and made many attempts to reach out to me. Because my current home life was so toxic I decided to move back in with him and my grandparents (He is 43 and lives in his parents basement, go figure). We actually had a good relationship for about a year, wasn’t really father and daughter but the best we had ever had. I had also finally built a good relationship with my grandparents. One day when I was trying to fo my laundry he just kinda snapped and was in his old ways again. He grabbed me by my throat, pinned me down over the table behind me and just started choking me with this enraged look on his face. I was only in my robe (I was trying to get ready for work) so I had one hand on his trying to pull it off and the other hand holding my robe closed. After trying to tell him to get off twice to no avail I was able to kick him off me. When I stood up I immediately fixed my robe and he started coming for me again so I pushed him back away from me. That happened to be right when my grandfather came around the corner. He yelled at me and I tried to tell him what happened but my father denied it and lied about everything. No matter what I said they didn’t believe me even though they know for a fact he out his hands on us when we were little all the time. They think he has changed. So no one in the house would talk to me for almost two weeks and would kind of just turn their noses up at me. After the silence ended it was just constant fights. My father would (and still does) make up lies about me and they always believe him even if I show them proof it’s not true. They all now are constantly talking about me. The point in me telling you all this is because I have developed MAJOR trust issues and would always push people away when they would get too close. I had spent 20 years building walls and they were pretty impenetrable. No one could ever get in.But somehow this guy Peyton wiggled his way in. Once I felt we were getting too close I tried to push him away (I do this with out even realizing). But I couldn’t and that terrified me. I cared way too much for him. He became the only person that I could talk to when I kind of broke down after everything (I was diagnosed with CPTSD, Severe Anxiety, and MDD). I was completely broken and felt absolutely nothing because I was so far into psychosis. Yet somehow when I was with him I felt closer too myself than I had in a long time. He helped me so much when I was going through that and I believe a big reason I was able too. About four months ago he confessed that he had been in love with me for over a year (we have been best friends for almost three now) and I turned him down. I told him the same lie I had been telling to myself. That we wouldn’t work, we aren’t compatible and its not worth the risk of losing or friendship. He tried for four months saying that he thinks we are meant to be together and I wouldn’t even let myself consider the possibility. Everytime I caught myself thinking about us through out our friendship (which was quite often) I would push it away. I was terrified about how much I cared for him and how important he was to me. Recently I started to accept how I felt but then found out it was too late. He was seeing someone else. He says he thinks he loves her which I am really confused about because the last time he said thought we were meant to be was 1.5 months ago. And to my knowledge they have been dating for maybe a month. He also said that he still considers me to be his bestfriend and always will because he has improved himself because of me (One of the reasons he thought we were meant to be together was because he said I made him want to be a better person, and admirably he was the best person when I met him but has grown a lot and is now one of the best people I know) but he needs to step away for a little bit because he doesn’t want to risk what he has going good for him right now. I think because of how intense this relationship is and how fast it is moving that it is just a rebound. I am not sure however because I explained how I felt and have always felt and was just terrified (I did this as kind of an apology and made sure to say it in a way that I wasn’t trying to get in between the relationship). He said that he understands and that it is the way it goes sometimes, that it just takes time and rides eventually change but he has finally found the unstable peace he has been looking for and it may be young right now and there is still a lot of uncertainty but that he could care less. That I am still his bestfriend and always will be. That he understands why I couldn’t take a chance on him because I have spent my whole life watching my back and covering my tracks and while we have talked about it, it is defense mechanism that is both helpful and toxic. That I don’t need him and he believes I could more than likely do a lot better then him. That I just need someone who understands me but he is still here and can still talk. I didn’t really reply because I wanted to say that I didn’t really want to find someone else but I didn’t think that was right. We haven’t talked for two days now but I am just left wondering if he is actually over me or if I still have a chance? I am willing to wait for however long I need but I also don’t want to spend my whole life changing if there is no chance. I am kind of just stepping back right now though because I don’t want to get in his way of happiness. What should I do?

  4. Avatar

    Erica

    August 12, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Hello,
    My ex bf and i dated for 1 year and a half we both new within the first 3 months of dating that we were going to get married we even went ring shopping because he wanted to know what i liked. I have a 7 year old daughter that he loved and his family loved and opened up their heart with no doubt we were going to be together forever. Everything was amazing and wonderful i was head over heels still until after we hit our one year anniversary things began to go downhill he stopped putting effort but wanted me to move in with him. He was always complaining and nagging at me to stay the night and i had work and school and just wanted to be at my place sometimes. I felt myself pulling away and i was getting cold feet of moving in because of how angry he would get that i didn’t go over. That was going on for a 3 months and finally he broke up with me in anger because i wasn’t there when he got home from work one morning. He packed mine and my daughter stuff of what we had there and he was cold and didn’t want nothing more to do with me. He said he was done. 3 days before we broke up we were planning a getaway trip just me and him because we need us time and i agreed so that we can get that romance and spark back, i was going to tell him how i felt and progress from there and so when he broke up with me i got scared and told him how sorry i was and he said he just hadn’t been happy with our relationship anymore and we should both move on. Of course i cried and begged him back it didn’t work and he didn’t care. So i looked to the internet for help and came across your page and i studied it so i immediately went into no contact and by 3 weeks later i found out he was already dating another girl and taking her out and its somebody i know. I’m devastated, i want my future husband back, any feedback will help.

  5. Avatar

    Ayesha

    April 19, 2019 at 2:04 pm

    Hi,

    Me and my Ex were together for 1year and 7 months. He had an Ex girlfriend that still has a feelings for him and keep on showing in there house almost every week bringing food and having a long talk with his family. She already doing it even when my ex boyfriend and I were not yet couple until we became couple. I asked my ex if he still had feelings for her and he said that he has no feelings for her and he don’t want to get back with her even if his ex is always asking to be together again that’s why I believed him because he keep on telling me that he wants to marry me. I already talk to him that he should tell his ex girlfriend that she should stop what she is doing and my ex boyfriend told me that he already telling it to her but still the girl continue doing, the good thing is that my ex was starting to avoid her as possible.

    Me and my Ex were already together for 7 months when i received a job opportunity in diffrent location so I grabbed it. When I told him about it he became frustrated, bothered and worried because he don’t want us to be separated but I have no choice but to accept the job and I promised him that I will be back after 1 year and he told me that he will wait for me. So we’ve been LDR for almost 12months. On that 12months of being LDR lot of things happened: His ex is still visiting his house and his family, when his family had a some issue financially and when they asked help from her then she provide it right away i also help them with there financial issue there is no problem with me for that. Last year August someone offerred him a business, for me I don’t want him to proceed on that business but he told me that it is an opportunity and it can change his life so I let him proceed on that business and support him, after a week his ex heard about the business that he is doing and support him also on that and helping him, which is very alarming to me because they can communicate a lot. When he was starting his business we are both okay together there is nothing wrong in our relationship but after 2 months he changed a lot he easily get annoyed by me because he was pressured to make his business successful so we had less communication and starting to became cold to me. When it was November he was unable to continue his business due to lack of money and became depress. Mid of the same month he told me that he fell out of love for me and said that he don’t have other woman, we didn’t actually end our relationship on that day but he was so cold as days goes by, I am calling him and texting him hoping that the love that he had to me will be back but he keep on ignoring me. On December I went home for a vacation and also to meet up with him to talk. Upon meeting him I never expect that he will broke up with me, he said that he fall out of love and he don’t have other woman and he also need space and want to find himself, I asked him what if the day will come that he will like someone he told me that if the day will come that he will like someone he will not going to make a move unless he became okay because he don’t want to happen again what happened to us. So we really broke up even if I dont want it and begging him to stay. After our meet up I sent him a message to stay with me but he just blocked me in messenger then deactivated his account, he also blocked my mobile number, and after 2weeks he created new facebook account but I never try contacting him again even if I already knew his new account. After 2months since we broke up I found out that my ex and his ex got back together maybe before 1month or after 1month after we broke up, I sent him a message in his new facebook account why he lied but I received no response and he just blocked me in messenger and then when I checked his instagram he removed our picture together which he used it to be his profile picture which he didn’t do after we broke up, a few days after, he blocked me in instagram. I also noyiced that his current girlfriend blocked me in facebook even if I don’t harrass her.

    I am just a little confuse if his current relationship is a rebound or not. My mind keep on asking me why he is doing this to me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 19, 2019 at 8:51 pm

      HI Ayesha…rebounds are not unusual – sot it is very possible. At this stage, its best to have a sensible ex recovery Plan, so I suggest you give a good look at my Program (EBR PRO) to help you thru this process.

  6. Avatar

    Victoria

    December 29, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    Me and ex were together for 4 years on and off and share a 2 year old daughter. We would always split then he would do what he wants then come back saying he loves me but nothing would change so I stopped giving him the chances, he was saying he still loved me 2 months ago and no he has met somone and is going out with her , he keeps changing his what’s app picture to him and her every time they have a new picture together I’m guessing for me to see, he was only contacting me if it was about our daughter but last week he sent me a message asking what time I was dropping her off Christmas Day and I told him I didn’t no yet so he said ok but then carried on messaging me and if I didn’t reply would send another fhen he cane out with that Ella (our daughter) likes my new girlfriend and I’m not saying this just to get you , and that he’s happy and hopes I am to to which I replied ok good even tho it was killing me inside , then he carried on going on about how happy he was and I just ignored it then he said “but you do no if I think somone isn’t suitable to be around Ella I have a say” meaning if I meet somone , I didn’t reply then he started getting nasty with me about other things and trying to pick fight to which I was either replying ok or not at all, since then I havnt heard off him unless about our daughter, is this relationship a rebound or should I be worried because I’m going out my mind as I do really miss him. Please help.

  7. Avatar

    M

    March 6, 2018 at 11:09 pm

    Question: No Contact + Rebound??
    Hello! I’d really appreciate your help on this:
    Boyfriend and I were involved for 3 years in a very serious committed relationship. We discussed marriage, moving in and were very serious about it, he even bought me a promise ring. (We would have been in a relationship 3 years in two weeks). I broke up with him in August because we were butting heads too much for the last 9 months (little did I know it was because he was depressed) He begged me to come back.

    We started dating again in October but I kept saying we couldn’t be official/exclusive (because I was afraid but he didn’t know that). He was very excited, as was I and (although it seemed otherwise on my part) neither of us dated anyone else and he was very adamant about that; that he was only focusing on me because “the girl he loved was back in his life”. It was rough because we weren’t communicating. He slipped and said he loved me and then one day we both admitted it to each other. But when he asked me “so now what” I got scared and said we still needed time. He took that as we’re still not exclusive. Bad communication. He started to put up a wall after that and on New Years we got into a stupid fight. He got mad at me and blocked me for one month (January-Feb) Where he refused to end it (even though I begged and said just say something at this point even to end it) and held onto my things this whole time. One month ago (feb 5) I asked him to come by and give me my things (he was a little petty but I apologized for what I did wrong and he softened) He cried, he said it was a shame, that we could hang out one day and be friends, he unblocked me and opened communication. Said it doesnt always work out and when I said not ever? He said I don’t know, not right now. He said “there’s a difference between loving someone and caring for them but wanting to remove yourself from the cycle.

    Two weeks later it was his birthday. I wished him a happy birthday and he thanked me, saying he appreciated it Since then I’ve tried implementing No Contact.

    Now it has been a month since he brought me my things, two weeks since his birthday/last spoke. On his birthday, he thanked a girl for making his day special and posted a picture of a cupcake I assume she gave him in an apartment I know isn’t his. Now A month later, a friend of mine who works with him says it’s going around the office that he plans on making this same girl his official girlfriend via social media this week or next week; that they’ve been talking since January! He couldn’t have given himself time to grieve.

    Please advise: Is this likely a rebound? I tell myself he couldn’t possibly establish a strong connection so soon. He’s also 30 and I am his third girlfriend, he takes relationships very seriously so this seems left field. Before me, he waited 9 months to get into another relationship.

    Should I still do no contact? I know the articles say waiting too long gives them time to get closer. What should my next step be? Please help, I still love him very much and wish we could make this work, especially knowing it was always lack of communication, never lack of love which we both admitted.

  8. Avatar

    Imogen

    January 25, 2018 at 6:52 pm

    My ex and I broke up in November. About a month before we almost broke up because we’d become distant due to long distance and weren’t making the effort to talk to each other. We had a massive talk and he was crying telling me he would always love me and didn’t want to lose me. For the next month everything was fine but then suddenly one day we just didn’t speak and then the next day we broke up. He told me I felt more like a friend to him and that he didn’t feel like he loved me anymore but when we met up he was absolutely devastated and crying his eyes out. He had told me he loved me a few days before and that he missed me so this all came out of the blue to me. We were together for 2 years and were so happy it’s just going from living together to being long distance was hard. I can’t see how he fell out of love with me in the space of a month. My question is do you think he still loves me or not? He also starting dating a new girl 5 weeks after we broke up the day they met each other and they’ve been moving very fast since, posting all over social media etc, so has he actually fallen out of love with me and moved on?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2018 at 9:41 pm

      Frankly, there’s a possibility that he has or that he is in the honeymoon phase with the rebound.

  9. Avatar

    Imo

    January 25, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    My ex and I broke up in November. About a month before we almost broke up because we’d become distant due to long distance and weren’t making the effort to talk to each other. We had a massive talk and he was crying telling me he would always love me and didn’t want to lose me. For the next month everything was fine but then suddenly one day we just didn’t speak and then the next day we broke up. He told me I felt more like a friend to him and that he didn’t feel like he loved me anymore but when we met up he was absolutely devastated and crying his eyes out. He had told me he loved me a few days before and that he missed me so this all came out of the blue to me. We were together for 2 years and were so happy it’s just going from living together to being long distance was hard. I can’t see how he fell out of love with me in the space of a month. My question is do you think he still loves me or not? He also starting dating a new girl 5 weeks after we broke up the day they met each other and they’ve been moving very fast since, posting all over social media etc, so has he actually fallen out of love with me and moved on?

  10. Avatar

    Emma

    January 23, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    So my boyfriend and I split up back in September. We were together for 4 years (on and off for 4 years before that as well)

    We split because we were at different stages in our lives, he wanted to settle and commit…I just wasn’t quite there yet – slowly heading in that direction but it wasn’t soon enough for him. We would argue and almost split up multiple times but neither of us could end the relationship.

    The weekend before we split up he went to Berlin with friends where he met this American girl who had moved to Berlin. They must have instantly clicked and when he returned home he broke up with me. We were both very upset and he was questioning whether he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

    We barely spoke after the breakup because I knew about this girl. When he returned home the girl went travelling in Asia for some months and they kept in touch the whole time. She returned in December and come over here to stay with him. During that week my ex contacted me (we had had 6/7 weeks of no contact) telling me that he missed me very much. We were going to meet up but our schedules clashed. The following week he then went out to stay with her and on New Year’s Eve they got into a relationship.

    My question to you is, do you think this is a rebound? They seem pretty serious, posting pics together and constantly in contact.

    This whole situation has knocked my confidence completely, before he got back in touch I was doing okay but now I feel I am back at square 1!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2018 at 5:28 pm

  11. Avatar

    Amy

    January 21, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    My bf and I have known each other for 24yrs. He pursued me when we were young, we dated for a few years but I broke up after he got a DUI. We remained friends, and got back together 4.5yrs ago, he moved in after just 6mon. Everyone always thought we eventually would get back together all those years, and thought we would just be together forever. After 3yrs, I took on a 2nd job (in a field I was passionate about), but over the next year and a half I lost friendships (they moved), 16 people to death, and my 2nd job became more like full time. I became very depressed & had anxiety. Things weren’t great during this time, and his short temper & compliant attitude didn’t help, but he tried by cleaning, cooking often, etc.. The week before Christmas, he broke up & said he was moving out to hopefully help me be happier; I also found out my father has cancer at the same time. Over the next couple weeks he told me he loved me but felt like he needed to stick to his decision right now, was still staying at the house (hadn’t packed anything), said he didn’t want any responsibilities right now, etc., would still make dinner & call himself daddy to our animals. He finally moved Dec. 31st, and when I asked him if he had met anyone or was talking to anyone he said absolutely not.

    On Jan. 9th, after having the same profile pic of him & I for 4.5yrs and barely ever going on Facebook, he changed both his profile pic & cover photo to him with a girl kissing him on the cheek & put in a relationship, then posts about days that are “the best in the history of the world”. None of our close friends or relatives have “liked” any of it, they are in shock. When I asked him, he said he saw I unfriended him before that & that meant to him that I had cut the last string – I had deactivated my account for awhile to avoid questions from friends as not everyone knew, but did not unfriend him until this.

    I am working on the No Contact, but as he still had items left at the house until just last week & is having something he bought for me before the breakup delivered, I have been trying but have to respond until we are done with that. He did ask about the animals & I, but I am not responding to anything personal right now.

    Thoughts? I am having a very difficult time. I love him – I have for over 20yrs – but also hate him & wish he hurt more. I can’t even think of even going out with another guy right now. I know that I have work to do on myself, am I wrong to hope he comes back in the future?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 22, 2018 at 3:41 am

      Hi Amy,

      It’s to to talk to him about exchanging stuff, as long it’s only about and that’s right to focus in improving yourself first.. But ypu should be active in posting, that’s your indirect way of showing your improvements

  12. Avatar

    Imogen

    January 14, 2018 at 12:20 am

    Hi, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me at the end of November with distance being an issue in our relationship. He was never ok with being long distance and always hated when we were apart, so I knew after living together for a year, being apart suddenly would be very difficult for us to cope with. When we met to break up he was absolutely devastated and crying and kept saying how he wanted me in his life and wanted to be friends with me and he sent me a text afterwards saying he’d always care a lot about me and always be there for me. Whilst we were together he was always very much more in love with me and needy in the relationship than I was. I’m not very open with my feelings due to the fear of getting hurt and I didn’t feel the need to publicise our relationship all over social media. 5 weeks after we broke up he met a girl and started seeing her straight away, she then flew back to Australia after they’d known each other for 2 weeks, but they’re already posting couple pictures and stuff on Instagram and constantly tagging each other in stuff on facebook. Since hes met her hes been a completely different person towards me, he’s been rude, telling me he doesnt want a friendship with me anymore hes moved on so I need to get a grip and get over it, and that he cares more about her than he does about me. Its hurting me that he could move on so quickly with someone he doesn’t even know and say all these things to me when he doesn’t even know this girl. He told me he had a great 2 years with me, and the person I know was so deeply in love with me I just can’t fathom how hes moved on so quickly. The person I knew would never hurt me like this, hes changed so much since hes met her and I feel like our whole relationship was a lie now after him telling me he doesn’t like being single. I just need advice as to whether you think he has truly moved on or do you think hes just convinced himself he has and using this new person, who is nothing like me in terms of expressing feelings as she is much more like him, to distract himself from our break up?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2018 at 10:50 pm

      Hi Imogen,

      she could be a rebound but check this one:
      EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

  13. Avatar

    Imogen

    January 12, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me at the end of November, with distance being an issue in our relationship. He was never ok with being long distance and used to miss me as soon as I walked out of a room, so I knew after living together for a year, being apart suddenly would be very difficult for us to cope with. Whilst we were together he was always so much more in love with me and needy in the relationship that I was. I’m not very open about my feelings and would only really say I love you in response to him telling me first. 5 weeks after we broke up he met a girl and started seeing her straight away and she flew back to Australia on Saturday after they’d known each other for 2 weeks. They’re already posting pictures of each other online and making it very known that they’re seeing each other. Its hurting me that he could move on so quickly with someone he doesn’t even know and tell me he cares more about her when hes known her for 2 weeks then he does about me when we were together for 2 years. He told me he had a great 2 years with me, and the person I know was so deeply in love with me I just can’t fathom how hes moved on so quickly. Please any advice regarding this situation would be greatly appreciated. Do you think hes actually moved on or has he just convinced himself hes moved on and using this newly found person as a distraction from how hes truly feeling? How is he so ok with the distance that he has with this girl but he wasn’t with the distance he had with me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2018 at 10:50 pm

      Hi Imogen,

      she could be a rebound but check this one:
      EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

  14. Avatar

    anon

    October 17, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    My ex and I dated for 3 years, I thought we were great for each other (we had the same outlooks, values, humor, even talked about a future together). Everything started to change when I got this new job that I hated with all my guts, I didn’t feel like myself anymore, it was like I was angry all the time. I think that’s what made him fall out of love with me, he said he “will always love me but the spark is gone and he’s ready to let me go”… It’s been 3 1/2 months since we broke up but he started seeing someone a week after we broke up and he’s already telling her he loves her (I asked him a little while ago if he started liking her while we were together he said “nope”.. do I believe?.. idk, but I know for sure he would have never cheated on me).. Now I no longer work at that job and have been doing nc for almost 45 days(we tried being friends before I started but it was too hurtful, he’s the one who wanted to be friends), been working on myself, I feel like my old self again. SO my questions are 1) do you think I can get him to fall back in love with me? 2) is it possible that he actually does love her in such a short period of time? (she’s younger than me and goes to school 7 hours away)

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2017 at 10:11 pm

      It will depend on you.. We’re just here to assist and help increase your chances. And frankly, yes, it can be love because the longer their relationship goes the deeper it becomes..

  15. Avatar

    jen

    July 22, 2017 at 8:01 am

    hi. me and my ex were together just over a year and my sons dad played a rather big part in our relationship ending he would just not show up to see my son and then me and my ex had to cancel plans alot plus other things that just added alot of stress to me and i ended up being really negative and stressed which meant our relationship ended. i think he is now seeing someone who lives over 2hours away that he met 3weeks after we broke up. it was hard enough for us to see each other sometimes and we live in the same place let alone trying to see her so i think its definately a rebound. my question is im not sure if there is any chance of us getting bck together because hes really difficult to read. like we have spoken since the split 7weeks ago but its like he stops himself for example he will make contact but then sometimes the conversation feels hardwork. but recently we spoke for awhile and made jokes like we used to which was 3days ago since then no contact. we havent seen each other since we split but are seeing each other wednesday as i have some stuff to collect. what body language do i look for to see if there is still something there? 2weeks before we split we was talking about marriage and how he wanted a family with me and how me being such a good mum just makes him love me even more we had spoken about it for months then he just said it was all too negative and i was so stressed he didnt know how to make it better he loves me and cares alot but the timing just isnt right. ive sorted my life i now get free time without having to rely on my sons dad i now go jogging to put the negative energy into something else so what do i next? im so worried about seeing him again

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      that’s good that you’re talking again but avoid doing it the whole day. Always be the one to end the conversation at high point. Don’t rush.. especially if it’s like that, that he’s not wanting a relationship but will jump at the opportunity of sex, you will end up being friends with benefits if you rush things. You have to build more interest in him.. let him chase. let him be the one to wonder if he can get you back.. keep having your own life while you’re slowly building rapport with him.

  16. Avatar

    Nana

    May 31, 2017 at 4:03 am

    I and my ex broke up on end of November last year. and never contacted each other. But He is still following my posts and sometimes “like” it.

    I found out that he started to dating new girlfriend almost same period with we just broke up ( in November) . He didn’t know that I knew it until today. Somehow My FB showed ( people you might know….that was her (his new girl) page, I noticed that because her profile pic showed they were sitting together under the beautiful view…so .I left a comment there said “beautiful couple and great View!”

    I don’t know if I did wrong thing with wrote comments ? Because I was mad, that he was suspected me have another guy (that was the reason we broke up, he had trust issues) but he actually got new girlfriend already. So I wanted let him know that I already knew his new girlfriend (maybe too late…)

    Then, he found out my comment, let her deleted that pictures right away .and he also sent messages said ‘ hi, how are you? Hope you everything good.’ , I didn’t respond. Then one hour later, he sent another text” sorry I bothered you, take care’.

    My question is, what he is thinking about? should I respond him message? And …do I still have chance to get him back?
    I already got text bible, but don’t know what should I do…

    Please help me

    Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      Nana

      May 31, 2017 at 6:11 pm

      Thank you Amor.
      I sent a text to him ,told him that I am doing good.then,he responded me and told me he is actually living with her together now because she is pregnant . And he told me he still remembers good memories with me, and he is still thinking I’m a wonderful person. He doesn’t want to me mad…. ….kind like that

      My question is, does he still want to get me back? Or just trying be nice to me?
      She got pregnant after one month we broke up, so I guess my ex rebounded to her and made her pregnant during his trip ( in November). So, is his rebound relationship getting serious relationship?

      Anyway, I know that I should move on…sad…

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      let’s he does miss you but with his situation, it’s going to be complicated.. you should move on…if he wants you, he has to make things right first.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2017 at 4:37 pm

      it’s hard to say what he really is thinking about but if you want to try, then you have to start talking with him again.

  17. Avatar

    Raine

    April 13, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    I don’t think my comment posted so I’m posting one again.

    My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little under 4 years. We have been broken up for at least 1 1/2 years now. Had has been courting this girl recently (a classmate of his) for about 4 months now and he already loves her. He told me that he still has feelings for me Christmas 2016 but then he was already courting this girl. He told me that the girl was there when he was down in the dumps and she sort of saved him and he then developed feelings for her. In his own words it was sort of like a Prince Charming complex. He fell for someone whobsaved him. He recently told me that he was sorry for telling me that he did not love me anymore because the truth was that he still does, but he learned to handle it properly and that he learned to love again. And that the love he has for this girl knocks-out the love has has for me, along with all of our memories together.
    Now I know that it has been a long time since we have been in a relationship and this may actually be a serious relationship. But sometimes I feel that maybe he is just replacing our relationship with this new one. He usually is serious when it comes to relationships and he never goes into one that has no future in it. I still love my ex boyfriend despite him blaming the whole breakup on me. And I really want to get back together with him.
    I do not know what to do. Do I still have a chance to win him back? What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      Raine

      April 18, 2017 at 11:03 am

      Thanks Amor, I see where you’re coming from. Thanks for the insight.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 25, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      You’re welcome!

    3. Avatar

      Raine

      April 15, 2017 at 8:58 pm

      Hey Amor,
      Im not sure if my comment posted again.
      I just had another question. Is the Grass is Greener and Being There approach still applicable even if my ex thinks so lowly of our relationship because he is basing his rating of our relationship on the ending and not the whole 4 year relationsyearwe had. Thanks for getting back to me.

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 16, 2017 at 7:30 am

      that’s actually the reason why you should use the being there approach, so you can change how he sees you and that’s also why you should massively improve yourself.

    5. Avatar

      Raine

      April 14, 2017 at 9:29 am

      Hey Amor,

      Just a quick question. Is the grass is greener and being there approach still applicable even if my ex rates our relationship or me as a girlfriend low (maybe a 2-3)? This is because he is basing the rating on the ending of the relationship and not the relationship as a whole. Is that hurting my chances, especially since he is creating new and better memories with his new girl.
      Thanks for the help.

    6. Avatar

      Raine

      April 13, 2017 at 10:55 pm

      Hey Amor,

      Thanks for the advice. The being there strategy is genius.

    7. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 13, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      approach it like she’s a grass is greener.. follow the advice in this one:
      What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

  18. Avatar

    Raine

    April 13, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    Hi Amor,
    My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little under 4 years. We have been broke up for about a year and a half and he is now courting a girl for about 4 months now and he says its serious and that he loves her. He says that he loves her because the girl saved him in a time where he was really down in the dumps and eventually came to love her. He himself said that it was like a Prince Charming effect. He says that his feelings for me havent really gone away, that he does still love me but not the same as before and that he has learned to love another person. And that new love knocks-out the love he has for me away, along with all of the memories we have together. Sometimes I feel like he is just replacing our old relationship with this new one but I can never be too sure because he is serious when it comes to relationships and never does he go into one that he doesnt see a future in it.
    Now I know its been a long time since we have been together and this may really be a serious relationship but I really want to get back together with my ex.
    What should I do?

  19. Avatar

    Gail

    April 1, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    I’m not sure if my last comment posted, so I’m trying again.

    My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and it has been a yeah and a half since we have broken up (November 2015). During the breakup he had been casually asking to get back together but I refused because he did not show much effort. He recently told me that up until October 2016 he was still open to us getting back together, but (maybe) due to peer pressure he moved on because his friends told him he had been wallowing for too long. The following month he has started going out with a new girl. We had open communication ever since and I even told him I wanted to get back together on February 2017. However he rejected me because he said that he did not want to seem like a player by dropping the new girl, that he did not want to hurt the new girl, and that he was in-love and happy with the new girl and that everything was going easy (although he hasnt told his family about this girl). We had been talking daily up until the last week of March 2017 because the new girl’s friend saw that he was communicating with me. So he has now stopped all forms of communication so he would not hurt the girl and so that he maee it clear that he is still angry and hurting from the things I have done to him.

    My ex-boyfriend is the type of guy to take relationships seriously thats why it is hard for me to decipher whether the new girl is a rebound or not. But the way he has been acting, saying he is already in-love and that he still is very much bitter and angry at me for what happened between us shows that he has not completely moved on. I think that he is having a difficult time deciding what to do (given that he has someone who loves him but hurt him and a new girl who he has just started seeing that has potential). Maybe he is just letting his anger takeover and that he is being stubborn (he really is head-strong) by not listening to his emotional side. At one point when he was angry he told me that he will prove to me that he and the new girl will be end-game.

    Is the new girl a rebound? I’m 3 days in the NC phase, should I continue NC even if already has blocked me and has not been replying prior to the NC? What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      Gail

      April 10, 2017 at 9:15 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Thanks for getting back to me. I will stop talking to our mutual friend. And I think I need to restart the count for NC. Thanks for the advice.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 11, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      ok, restart nc.. you’re welcome!

    3. Avatar

      Gail

      April 9, 2017 at 2:10 am

      Hey Amor,

      A mutual friend of my ex and I told me that I should just move on and that trying to get back together now is just too late because he has someone new in his life. This friend of ours told me that he was serious courting the new girl and that he is really happy with her. In fact, this friend told me that keeping in contact with me makes my ex feel guilty and it was stressful for my ex to hide that we were still in contact to other people. According to our friend my ex has liked this new girl since August 2016 but he never pursued her becausehe was still in-love with me. And he even admitted to our mutual friend that he still had feelings for me around December 2016.
      When my ex and I were talking early this year he told me that if things dont work out with the new girl he would consider giving us another shot. It sounds like Ii just his backup and that there is no reason for him to actually choose me over the new girl unless he gets dumped.
      I know you said this girl was probably a rebound but things arent looking too good for me. What should I do?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 10, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      stop talking to the mutual friend about your ex.. because whatever you say to that friend will reach him.. I think you need to restart the count of nc..

    5. Avatar

      Gail

      April 2, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Hi Amor,

      Thanks for the advice. I will continue the NC and see what happens. Thank you again.

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      You’re welcome!

    7. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 2, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      Hi Gail,

      yes, she’s probably a rebound.. And do at least 30 days of nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if you’re blocked..

  20. Avatar

    Gail

    April 1, 2017 at 3:03 am

    My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and it has been a yeah and a half since we have broken up (November 2015). During the breakup he had been casually asking to get back together but I refused because he did not show much effort. He recently told me that up until October 2016 he was still open to us getting back together, but (maybe) due to peer pressure he moved on because his friends told him he had been wallowing for too long. The following month he has started going out with a new girl. We had open communication ever since and I even told him I wanted to get back together on February 2017. However he rejected me because he said that he did not want to seem like a player by dropping the new girl, that he did not want to hurt the new girl, and that he was in-love and happy with the new girl and that everything was going easy (although he hasnt told his family about this girl). We had been talking daily up until the last week of March 2017 because the new girl’s friend saw that he was communicating with me. So he has now stopped all forms of communication so he would not hurt the girl and so that he maee it clear that he is still angry and hurting from the things I have done to him.
    Is the new girl a rebound? And should I continue NC even if already has blocked me and has not been replying prior to the NC? What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 2, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      Hi Gail,

      yes, she’s probably a rebound.. And do at least 30 days of nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if you’re blocked..

    2. Avatar

      Gail

      April 1, 2017 at 4:19 am

      Update:
      My ex-boyfriend is the type of guy to take relationships seriously thats why it is hard for me to decioher whether the new girl is a rebound or not. But the way he has been acting, saying he is already in-love and that he still is very much bitrer and angry at me for what happened between us shows that he has not completely moved on. And that maybe he is just letting his anger takeover and that being stubborn (he really is head-strong) to listen to his emotional side and at one point he told me that he will prove to me that he and the new girl will be end-game.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 2, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      Hi Gail,

      yes, she’s probably a rebound.. And do at least 30 days of nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if you’re blocked..

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