Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend


It can really hurt when an ex boyfriend (who you still have feelings for) seemingly moves on to another girl. For many women out there they lose all hope of getting their ex back. Others will get angry and immediately look to start or cause a fight. Rarely will you ever come across one that does the smartest thing, stack the odds in her favor! That is really what this page is all about, how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend by stacking the odds in your favor.

If you haven’t already read my epic article on how to get your ex boyfriend back I suggest you drop everything for the next 30 minutes (yes 30 minutes) and go read it.

What You Really Want..

When I first created this site I wanted to create the best online resource for getting your ex back. So far, I feel I have done a decent job of that. However, as I started interacting with you I began to notice that what I was writing wasn’t enough, you wanted more. This was especially true for those heartbroken women whose ex boyfriends have moved on to a new girlfriend. I understand how you particularly feel because I have interacted with so many of you. So, I decided to do something I have never done before.

I began writing a “super guide” on how to get your ex boyfriend back. I am talking about everything I could possibly think of. Eventually after 100 pages of writing I finished Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. Think of it like the ultimate step by step guide to getting an ex boyfriend back. It will teach you everything you will need to know. So, if you feel you want some more in depth instructions on how to get an ex boyfriend back then please click the link below:

Learn More About Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Remember The Most Important Thing

Before you take any major steps to getting your ex boyfriend back it is important that you implement the No Contact Rule. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into that. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.

If you don’t have the patience to read that entire page let me sum up some of the most important points for you.

No Contact Rule Main Points

  • No contact what-so-ever for 30 days (1 full month.)
  • This means no texting, calling, emailing, letters, facebook stalking or Googling.
  • During your 30 day freeze out make sure you improve yourself both mentally and physically.

You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing and you are going to want to contact your ex very badly (and you are definitely not going to have many good things to say.)

How Did He Get His New Girlfriend?

New Girlfriend

(Disclaimer: I promised myself that I was going to use this page to legitimately help people. So, I feel that this section is important. While this may not be a section about how to get him back it is a section that is something I added in to prevent you from making a big mistake, going after a guy that will only hurt you very deeply again.)

Believe it or not but how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline three situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that you should be trying to get back and one of the situations is going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back. Let’s begin.

Situation 1- You broke up with your ex, realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. If you are in this situation then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex boyfriend back.

Situation 2- He broke up with you and later got a new girlfriend. Again, this is a really common situation and you are free to go ahead and try to get him back.

Situation 3- He left you for another girl. He was either cheating or was in love with someone else. Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here, this guy is not someone that you should want to get back with. Sure, you can try to get him back but he needs to prove to you that he is trustworthy.

4 Truths To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back With A New Girlfriend


This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Let’s explore!

Truth 1: Not contacting your ex is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong. Getting mad, breaking down and texting your ex a hateful message about his new girlfriend isn’t going to help your ultimate goal is it? Instead, be cool and don’t worry, every dog has it’s day.

Truth 2: It’s not always easy dating someone new. Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is uncomfortable in his new relationship. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step..

Truth 3: Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. Lucky for you rebound relationships don’t last forever. In fact, statistics show that 90% of rebound relationships are bound to fail. So, the odds are in your favor just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. Remember, if you freak out you are going to make a lot of mistakes and mistakes aren’t going to help get you two back together.

Truth 4: It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things (like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup) he will remember all the good things. This can definitely work in your favor.

How To Cope


It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else. I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Remember, just because he is dating someone new doesn’t mean your chances are gone completely. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you.

Keep The Focus On You- Try your best not to obsess over his situation. You can’t control what he does but you can control what you do. Go out and have fun. Make new friends. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself.

It’s Not Your Fault- Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did or something that they could not provide. Dating isn’t always black and white like that. Whatever happens, make sure you don’t let an ex boyfriends actions affect how you feel.

Accept That There Will Be Pain- You are not a robot. You can’t just turn off your feelings. It’s ok to feel pain over the situation but once that pain starts creeping into your everyday life and effecting how you live then you have problems.

Beware Of The “I Want What I Can’t Have” Syndrome- This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page. Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back once they see him with someone new. If you find that you are in this situation be very careful about proceeding to get him back. You may need to go back and do some serious searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.

Resist Any Comparisons- It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new (hopefully temporary) girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all.

Are There Any Actions You Can Take To Help Your Cause?

actions to take

So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze. Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control. I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use. However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back.

(Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.)

Watch For Trouble Signs- No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Each one has it’s ups and downs. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you.

Initiate Contact Via Text Message- Test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.

Be Very Nice To Him And His New Girlfriend- If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it.

Learn How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Put your email address in the box to the right to follow along day by day as I show two women (Sarah and Kai) exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.
2,218 Responses to Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend
  1. Louisa
    July 23, 2014 | 10:48 am

    My ex and I broke up back in December (after a one and a half year relationship and 2 years and a half talking) and since then we’ve stayed in touch. I did the no contact twice for 1 month each time and decided after that I would not initiate contact because I could not read him and it was hurting me to not know what to expect. Instead I would only answer his messages or emails if and when he writes to me. He’s been getting in touch on different occasions and sometimes regularly but he is sending mixed signals by blocking me and then unblocking me on different sites, writing to me and then not answering etc. He has a girlfriend now that he is public about but he still writes to me and sends me pictures of himself without ever mentioning his new girlfriend.
    I can’t figure out what he wants. I know that he still thinks about me but is he just looking for attention or is it a way of telling me something…? I’m not sure how to react and what I should tell him. Should I confront him about his girlfriend..?
    I hope you can help me out here. Many thanks.

    • admin
      July 24, 2014 | 2:50 pm

      What kind of pictures does he send?

      Intimate ones or just regular ones?

  2. drish
    July 2, 2014 | 7:08 pm

    Hey I had a relationship of 6 months I got serious for him..n he too showed that he was damn serious ..n it got my hopes high I started seeing my future with him..but later he broke up saying that we belong to different different religion n his parents would not accept it..bt I later found out that he was double dating and was in love with someone else..n in between I found him cheated but excused him every time..n now aftr 6 months he came back saying sorry BT he just wants my friendship n nothing else..he is dating another girl now :( n I want him back don’t know wht to do

  3. Katrina
    June 20, 2014 | 9:10 pm

    We spoke once or twice during the first two weeks after the break-up. Now it has been over 2 months. We broke up for reasons we both agreed with, but when we broke up, he said to me, “hopefully this isn’t forever” and “this time apart will make us stronger if we do get back together, you will see”. About 2 weeks after we broke up, he started seeing someone new, he unfriended me on Facebook. His parents love me and still talk to me all the time and tell me how much they miss me and that he was stupid, etc. What do I do? I honestly don’t want to push things.

  4. Heartbroken
    June 20, 2014 | 2:11 am

    Hi I just wanted to know if there’s anyway that my ex will come back. We broke up officially on May 21, 2014 just days after my b-day. He was playing mind games with me that drove me insanely crazy. He met a girl at work and had been texting/talking to her a lot but hid it from me. I found msgs from him telling her things like she gorgeous and sexy and the most amazing person he’s ever met. He hadn’t been telling me any of those things in months. He constantly started lying about little things. Then he started deleting msgs to and from her and telling me that he stopped talking to her. We started to fight more and more. She went on a trip and bought him gifts and he too started buying her things. I kept asking what’s going on between them and he just said they are friends. My gutt and other signs told me differently. They started making lunches for eachother and he stopped doing things for me. The mind games he played kept getting more and more worse to the point I stabbed myself infront of him because the pain was just too much to take. And then after that he said i was just giving you 10 mins to see if you would do that. If you didn’t we would be working on our problems. I can’t believe he drove me to do something so stupid. And what’s even more foolish is that I still love him. (We were together for 7 years). He left me for her. Now he doesn’t talk to me at all. What do I do? When we first met, we were so connected like we felt we knew eachother forever. I can’t function and I’m dying inside while he’s having the time of his life. Mind you the girl he left me for was or is on a relationship. They both planned leaving me and her other half. I want him back but at the same time I don’t know. This is the second time. The first time he came back. What should I do?

    • Heartbroken
      June 20, 2014 | 2:15 am

      Please help me anyone

  5. Nikki
    June 18, 2014 | 10:11 pm

    chris Help

    I made a very fatal error. All was going well but, when he pushed a button I unleashed a little of the green eyed monster and told him that his new relationship probably wouldn’t work out I know it slipped and wished I could take it back I apologized and just said it was just me being jealous but I will get over it to make light of the mistake. I believe it did upset him. But he seemed over it the next day, did I just ruin my chances with him to reconcile, or push him to make it work with the rebound girl (please keep in mind he started this relationship right after our break up and we had been together for a 1 1/2 yrs before the breakup) I hope I didn’t hurt my chances but please give me some insight to a guys thoughts. I know he somewhat expected this reaction, hell I think he did it to get the reaction probably feeling me out. But I quickly disbursed my outburst and I hope that it didn’t ruin any future chances of reconciliation thoughts????

  6. laila
    June 17, 2014 | 2:29 pm

    hey , so my bf broke up after 3 yrs . he broke up before and came back , now again he broke up . m not sure he will come back this time . i called after 2 week and he is still angry ,
    he says he has moved on and i should too !! i askd him when nd who she is , he said its not important to tell me ! :( i feel he said that he is seeing sum1 just to push me away ???? he just wants to throw me away from his life
    he said he dosent want to look back .
    i feel if i do no contact rule he will think m over him or worse : move onn , i feel he already has.. he said no1 is there for him when he needs sum1 , i was always there . he has some family probs and i caree soo much for him . But he cant see it .
    he thinks he can ignore me 2 weeks , so he can even do that for 2 years !! he is sooo rude n stubborn
    i want him back bad !!
    i cannot study for my post grad exams , i am in such a mess !!
    i dont want him to find someone better and move on because i do the No Contact . he told me to never call him back nd his new gf dsnt like it , he even blocked my number
    all i want is things like before !!
    i dont knw what to say or do to make it right !! i dont want to lose him forever !!!
    please help mee !! i am a mess here .

    • laila
      June 17, 2014 | 2:38 pm

      also in 3 years he never took me out or hardly met me or never ever got me anythg , but i still love him madly !!! whtever time he spoke to properly were best times of my life . i want to relive them back soo bad .
      i actully got angry at him ad screamt so all this happend !!!! u thnk hes faking the gf or wht ??? i told him sorry million times and begged .
      without him my life is empty as hell . all i do is cry and eat painkillers .
      i shoud be studyn for smthg so imp right now and m stuck crying .
      also this was my first bf .

      • kayla
        June 20, 2014 | 7:19 pm

        I understand that this guy was your first boyfriend? Well we all have a first and yes it is easy to fall in love with your first boyfriend! the best thing to do is call up your girlfriends go hangout and try to forget about him for a night after you get back go home relax or even stay over at a friends house!! nobody is worth eating painkillers over its not worth risking your life I promise!

    • laila
      June 18, 2014 | 8:07 am

      Someone PLEASE reply !!! m gettin paranoid over here !!! :(

      • admin
        June 18, 2014 | 2:04 pm

        Hi there, whats up?

  7. randol
    June 16, 2014 | 9:40 pm

    My boyfrend en i had bin dating fo almost 3 years after an argument he dcides to break up wit me. He asked me fo space en dat he wanted to b alone fo somtym. Little did i knw dat he was seeing another gal evn bfo he dumped me en is now wit her….i ask him en he sayz dey wer jst frendz bfo en evrythng is jst hapening too fast. I hav complitly stopt contacting him cud dat b a rebound relationship or mayb hes in love do i stil stand a chance?

  8. Lana
    June 15, 2014 | 6:40 pm

    Well I was in a relationship for 3 years. He broke up with me February of this year, saying that he needed some space for him self to figure things out and that he couldn’t be in a relationship. I understood but it still hurt. We were both each others first long-term relationship.

    I wish I would have established the no contact thing right away (after reading some of your pages) but I didn’t. Since it ended we’ve been talking on and off and also seeing each other ( bad I know). He was the one that wanted to hang and talk

    I found out that he’d been hanging around with a co worker. While I also saw him too. So I wondered what was going on with that, he said they were just friends. Well at the end of April , they became involved (they’re still together) I was completely heartbroken and confused since he had said he didn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment. I confronted him about it and he admitted that he wanted to basically test the waters elsewhere.

    He also added that he still loves me and all these other nice things that I don’t even know if are true. And that he’d want to get back together in the future .what puzzles me the most is what he said about his new found relationship is, “deep down I know this isn’t going to last, it will fizzle it’s self out” . Then why even be in the relationship?? Ha but boys will be boys, right?

    So now we have started the no contact thing. My question is if I should do more than 1 month of no contact, since it has been 4 months since it ended? And I’m barely starting it now.

    • admin
      June 16, 2014 | 2:08 pm

      Nope, 1 month is enough.

  9. Maddie
    June 14, 2014 | 5:07 am

    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up a week ago, he went on a church trip.
    Now he has a new girlfriend, I have tried everything. We broke up over a stupied reason. What do I do?

  10. Stephanie
    June 13, 2014 | 11:25 am

    Hey Chris, I was with my ex for 9 months, we went through so much together. We still talked after he broke up with me and we were trying to be friends to see if we could date again. I was trying to change for him and prove myself to him, cause I know I was a B**** to him at times. He started to act strange, and was distant with me. My friends would tell me he was seeing someone and I didnt want to believe it. People told me he was being shady with some girl he knew I didn’t like. Until one day, she posted a message on facebook but cropped his picture, and my friend sent me that picture and I recognized his writing. I asked him if he liked her but he denied her and said I was just assuming. He would even tell me he loved me and that he wanted to try us again later. Again, she’d send him flirty messages and I asked him if she liked him and he said no again. He would deny her to me, blame me for the problems we were having because we argued everyday. So i decided to let him go so he can be happy and he didnt want me to let go, he wanted me to stay in his life. So I did. Days later, he finally told me he liked her I was cool with it at first cause he said he wanted to try something new but also said that he was afraid that I might stop loving him but when we were talking, I remembered that picture and since I knew he wouldn’t admit the truth to me, I asked that girl who was close to him and she told me the truth. So i went off on him. I cussed him out, I hurt him on purpose so that he can feel what I was feeling. I even threaten to break them up and told her off for meddling in, but i didnt mean it, I was just mad. I felt betrayed and backstabbed because I felt like he led me on while he had the other girl hidden. His excuse was that he was protecting her from me. Now he says he stopped loving me cause I hurt him with my words and hurt his girl too. But I was the one who ended up hurt the most. 4 days after that day, he made it official with her and already starting telling her he loved her. Which I think it’s BS because you can’t love someone so easily. I guess what I’m asking is, does he truly want her or is she just a rebound? Or did he just wanted to be happy, and since the other side of the grass was greener, he gave it a shot. They became close within a month. And well, this is the second time he does this to me. The first time, he met someone after the breakup (he dumped me) and 3 weeks later, he was all over that girl and told me he stopped loving me. 3 months later, he came back to me because she played him and he said he never stopped loving, that he lied. Im not going to take him back, I just need a mature man’s point of view.

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 4:03 pm

      He cheated on you with her?

      • Stephanie
        June 16, 2014 | 10:38 am

        No he didnt. We weren’t together at that time, but we still talked like if we were together. He just always denied her whenever I would ask him if he liked her. Now they’re together and already ‘loving’ each other after a month of what he did to me. I feel led on.

  11. tina
    June 13, 2014 | 5:10 am

    So, it’s been 35 days, what do I do now?

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:53 pm

      Time to contact him.

  12. Marizol
    June 12, 2014 | 8:40 pm

    Me and my ex were together for almost 3 years on and off . He had this friend he knew for a longtime , something like a childhood crush .. I feel like it was a crush that never went away . Throughout the relationship we fell for each other to the point where we considered engagement . But when we happened to hit the down road in the relationship , I noticed little signs of him contacting her . So I wrote her and asked her to respect the relationship . Sometime later after that , after taking my virginity he admits to be that they had sex , I was so crushed And worst off all he said he had feelings for us both and was confused . We stopped talking for several months after that and now they are together after he told me he wasn’t going to get with her claiming she has too many red flags . So now I’m feeling okay but it crushed me . I don’t know how to go about it . I can’t except the fact this is happening . I haven’t spoken to him at all or given any signs of trying to contact him , I love him and can see myself with him for a longtime , I considered him the love of my life but hope at this point is gone , the love triangle thing is not something that sits right with me , if there’s any getting back I don’t want her around period but I feel is impossible . What do you suggest ?

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:41 pm

      Have you been doing the NC rule?

  13. mary
    June 12, 2014 | 6:55 pm

    How do you implement the no contact rule if you have a child together.

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:05 pm

      Probably going to have to do limited contact.

  14. mary
    June 12, 2014 | 8:16 am

    My ex and I have a newborn son together. How do I implement the no contact rule but allow him to see his son.

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:33 pm

      Ya… do limited contact…

  15. Andrea Parker
    June 11, 2014 | 11:15 pm

    My bf and I dated for 4 years, we recently broke up in march. only after a coupld of days after we broke up I found out he was already talking to someone else (which i was just upset about). He kept telling me he was sorry that he hurt me. I played it cool and just let it go after a while. Finally things started to be okay between us, but she was still in the picture (not as a girlfriend, they were still just talking). She would always tell him to stop talking to me and he would tell her no he’s not going to stop talking to me. About a couple of week ago he told me she asked him out and he said no to her. She also asked him to move in and said no again. I told him to just give her a chance cause he was going back and forth with her and I. And he said he is not ready to let go of me, and that I still have his heart. A couple of days ago I sent him a text and she replied back to me as him and i Know it wasn’t him due to the fact that i know how he texts,this isnt the first time she did this though) She finally told me it was her. She kept texting me saying that she wants something serious with him and that they love eachother, and for me to step down and respect the fact that she cares for him. As aggravated as i was i didn’t reply with a negative text I just simply said I will talk to him and to not text me from his phone anymore and she did’nt reply back. the next day I had talked to him and asked him what happend and he said that she got mad about us texting each other and seeign eachother still. (Note: they still are not together) And that she didnt talk to him the whole day. The next day he called me and said she texted him saying she wasnt mad or sad and that she was in between and that he was going to her house to see what’s going on. I kind of got upset and told him just not to text me for a while or anything and that i needed i break from him. and all he said was that he was sorry. So please help IDK what to do or think! He supposely loves her already, can she be just rebound?? Help!

    • admin
      June 15, 2014 | 3:15 pm

      Ya she can be a rebound. Its very possible but how long have they been dating?

  16. Nikki
    June 10, 2014 | 6:55 am

    Chris, Just need some insight please, My boyfriend of a year n a half separated May 13 this year broke it off completely May 26 of this year, we were going to try in work on our relationship. Till I found him hanging with a new girl he dubbed friend. Till she took the initiative and posted publicly how amazing her best friend and boy friend is. Because I made a vow not to stalk facebook. He texted me a message and stated sorry I didn’t get the chance to talk to you first like we agreed, but it all happened so fast. Now I know I don’t think I would have found out so fast that they were dating but she let the cat out of the bag. Now I am smart enough to realize what she is doing, 1 trying to get a rise out of me, which all I stated to him was hey it does happen all I care about is if you are happy. Now he went from me 1 1/2 relationship to a gf 2 days after we breakup legitimately because when we first split we were going to work on it. now he is all happy and blah blah blah. I have come to know that this is a rebound, because my ex cant be without someone but during this whole got the new girlfriend, he called himself a piece of sh%t and how sorry he was for hurting me all to which was hey it happens what else you going to do, to I miss you wish I can spend one day with you blah blah to being ice cold and how happy with the new girl he is. Can you please someone explain the male mind, he is a good man but thoroughly confused and our breakup was because of outside influences and bad timing, but decided to be decent with other because he bonded with my son and told my son he would never forget to spend time with him or be his friend, so I play it decent and try not to get upset. I just don’t know what the game is here and would like some feedback on what to expect like I said, it almost seems like if he doesn’t get the response from me he was hoping for which I still don’t know what that is he changes his moods please help. I am firm believer that we were good together and that this is a learning lesson either to help me move on and get stronger, or whether or not it is worth looking into and trying to reconcile. And if I am right about rebound, remember she is doing all the public posting not him, he just likes it once and awhile whatever she posts, do you think he is only using her, good example one night he called to ask about something like I said just staying decent, and he said yeah tiff had me run up with her to pick out hair color, it was like watching paint dry. Ok…… right so I just don’t know please help someone what do you think I should do or continue to do and do you think this will run its course or what

    • admin
      June 10, 2014 | 4:09 pm

      Well, the no contact rule is a good idea for you at this point.

      • Nikki
        June 11, 2014 | 3:25 am

        I did and several weeks went by I told you the only reason we did contact was to talk about my son. however and kept it brief and friendly. but after those several weeks, he flipped that I wasn’t contacted him, I broke the nc 1 week before the 30 days cause it just felt right to do so, and he claimed to me that he still has feelings and tells me at the end of the conversation he still loves me. and little by little the couple of texts and conversations relate to how much he misses me knowing him the way I believe I do going into no contact again may ultimately undue what I am trying to do is reconcile on a whole new level as starting out in a new relationship because the old one is gone. he at this point said he is so overwhelmed with outside issues such as job financials etc he headed for a breakdown. now he said the split was so that he didn’t end hating me which I believe knowing him the way that I do. I believe this relationship is just he way of dealing, I know sounds weird but you did say that is how some guys deal with the pain, however this girl was a friend from back in the day nothing more was ever between them so I know for a fact the way he talks she is just there to fill that need. he claims he misses me terribly and focuses on the positives of our old relation ship and what he misses the most. my thought in this and where I am turning to you, is in this case, I cease no contact or not even get back to him, he is the type that will say screw it I am not dealing with this drama anymore cause that is how he is. so if contact is implanted in this special case, do I just continue with positive texts keeping his mind focused on what he loved about me, possibly getting him to think about why he did what he did and keeping me on his mind always as it is positive and negative removing those emotions that caused him to leave, what he thought was right to make our situation grow by being apart which he thought would fix things

  17. micha
    June 6, 2014 | 2:13 am

    I kind of have an interesting situation, i broke up with my bf during a time of stress and anxiety, there was a lot of fighting and he agreed to the breakup. When the emotions settle down, i realized that was a mistake and we were talking about getting back together ( he was hesitant). After only four days i get the news that he has slept with someone else and this devastated me. The girl met him at a friendly dinner with his other friends and ended up at his home. She contacted me through social media and pushed my buttons which made things worse and ended up sabotaging my contact with him (she even tells him that she loves him in 48 hrs!). my bf has never rebounded on a girl and he thinks this is fate and now he is dating her and even told me they are planning to move in together only after 3 weeks of knowing each other (we wanted to move in during our relationship and he told me he wanted to plan it out and not be impulsive). He wanted me to stop communication and i did. we haven’t spoken in weeks. I really love him and i want him back, and i don’t trust this woman and her intentions. He told me that he didn’t love me and doesn’t wanna be with me and warned me to stay away from him but he would not broken up with me during even when we had problems. I guess im trying to make sense of it all and honestly im confused. Is he really hurt and doing all this to move on? should i break no contact and talk to him? i did cross the line with this new girl ( i was nasty to her and called her a whore lol), if so what can i do to get him back? I felt loved and cared in our relationship and so its hard for me to believe that he didn’t love me.

    • admin
      June 6, 2014 | 5:40 pm

      What caused the stress and anxiety…

      How long has he been dating the new girl?

      • micha
        June 14, 2014 | 1:36 am

        the stress and anxiety was caused by school and work also, i felt like he pulled away in the end of it. He has been seeing her for about a month now and he is convinced that they are in “love”.

        Its so amazing how quick he has changed, he had a 6 yr relationship in the past and he never seemed to show much of PDA on social media during that (thats the way he kept things in the past, affectionate but subtle). But he is very public about this new girl, kissing pictures, romantic poems and quotes. its almost like i never knew him at all. Maybe he is in love and it sucks that i had to watch him fall for another woman.

  18. wia
    June 5, 2014 | 6:08 pm

    ,,, my ex boyfriend is a seafarer and we are already broke up 7months but in that 7months 0f break up we still have communication,,but after he got home after 8 month ..(because hes in the shore back then of 7 months ) but when he get home after 2weeks he already have a new girlfriend that he just met for the first time , and all of hes promises to me before he get back he continued it to the new girlfriend .. i dont know if he already moved on or hes just forecing himself to get back up and start a new relationship, and i dnt know if he still wants me back but me i want him back cause i dont know if i already moved on cause i still thinks about him and i feel so incomplete without him even if i date a hundred types of guys i still want him :( cant help but cry before i sleep wishing him to be with me again..what will i do now ? Cause it feels like he dont care about me anymore :( and it looks like hes happy with another girl ..

    • admin
      June 6, 2014 | 5:15 pm

      How long has he been dating the new girl?

  19. ash
    June 3, 2014 | 10:06 am


    • ash
      June 3, 2014 | 10:11 am

      My long (3 year) story short..
      My boyfriend and I were together for a year, we fell in love quickly, I was from a different country so he asked me to move in with him so I didnt have to go home. A month or so after it began to fall apart, he needed space and so after trying some more I went back to my country. We continued long distance for 5 months before he said he needed to end the relationship due to lack of ‘feeling it’ but still wanted to stay in touch. So we did for 6 months before I went over again. This time we lived seperate, and enjoyed getting to know and appreciate each other on a much deeper and more real way. He was still uncertain about officially making it a relationship, so we didnt sleep together this time. But we did have an amazing, connected time together. My visa was up so I left the country, still in regular affectionate contact, deep conversations etc. It seemed that he was becoming more and more keen on me, sending me affectionate texts etc. So I thought I had been really getting somehwhre after that intitial break up. So its been 5 months apart now and he just let me know 2 weeks ago that he actually fell in love with someone else just after I left, but it quickly turned to crap, they just argue, she dumped him and it hurt him alot. I was shocked by the news and after a brief radical outburst, we had a really intimate and understanding conversation after. He said that he was glad to know me, someone who truly understands him, and that he was really glad that I came back to see him and how much he appreciated our time together. He did not say that he wants me back however. He said he was still hurt over this other woman and that he still sees her sometimes and its still going on in a way. So we ended the conversation kindly, and I did not contact him for 2 weeks. I sent him a friendly text asking how he was and saying that I just found something that he gave me. But no reply. 3 days later sent a text, he replied straight away even though he was working, said he hasnt been good, was friendly and said we’ll talk soon. So what should my plan be now? Was it wrong to go quiet for 2 weeks after a nice honest conversation? Its just, I never knew when was the right time to apply NC with him. He responds best with genuine connection. Yet all of my patience and understanding has not been enough to get back together.

    • admin
      June 5, 2014 | 4:50 pm

      Hi Ash!

  20. aishwarya
    May 24, 2014 | 1:36 pm

    Me n my ex bf met 7 months back..DAT tym he had been trying to win me did everything to get me….n after two months were were in a relationship n everything WS going on smooth
    .until I met a guy who became a very good Frn n deer were rumours which people n he thought negative n he always had a problem with DAT.many small small issues started arising n I used to breakup all d tym BT he was…all d time in favour of patchup.n with time he started making frndz n I was totally into him…. I used to call him madly text him…. BT WS like very casual dz continued fr almost 15-20 days n started lieing me….he used to put statuses for other gal… kept me waiting over d call ..meeting was less too…. I started getting mad cz…I had never seen him dat way…. den one morning he asked Me to meet him n I WS like OK…. den I met him…. he WS nice talked good…n wanted to get intimate BT I refused saying no relationship no intimacy…. den he promised me DAT he will make things OK BT he need time… n v were intimate … later in d evening he started again behaving weird… he again said he wanted time…he z confused. .n he was going mad… after DAT ..DAT evening only he finally broke up n blocked me evryehrre I called him desperately n den msged him too BT deer WS no response…. den I WS out of town fr a week n wen I got back I got to know he. Z been hanging out with a 7-8 years elder hawt chick who z a divorcee n z also having a bf… n I tried to contact again BT he was having d same attitude n dint show any response n now I see him everyday with DAT chick. . So I ws frustrated n I went near his house so DAT I can figure out things …. he WS totally mad on me… n told me again… to stop all d drama of loving him n to move on n den i saw d love bytes of dat gal so i asked him abt it den he replied its his life…n i m getting wat i did..(me)d final conversation WS v wud talk n slowing c how things going on… BT again afternoon called me n asked me not to bother him n to stop irritating him…. n asked me to.move on …. whatever m trying z not possible … need help cz its been a month of break up n I feel pathetic everyday I c him with DAT chick… m 21 years old so z he… is deer any chance of getting him back? I m really in love with him n want him…all my attempts have failed … he just don’t wanna talk or c me… he z so involved with DAT chick…what should I do???

    • tina
      May 27, 2014 | 9:32 am

      I’m sorry you’re going through this. If it probably will it probably won’t make you feel better, but my ex boyfriend of 7 years that I love so dearly, has betrayed me and caused others that I love to betray me and not to mention has neglected to care for my health or my love for our child (a doggy) and is heavily involved with someone that is am extreme downgrade and they both have put me through hell in the past 6 months and I still forgive. All I can do, all you can do, is leave this in the hands of God. He has a plan bigger than we think we just have to trust and have faith in that. I’m always here for I am a child of God.

  21. Loyola
    May 24, 2014 | 2:42 am

    Hi Chris
    I usually post on another page and I never thought I’d be in this page but after my ex telling me that he had been on dates with a girl who lived further across the world than I did, he told me he wouldn’t do long distance with her because if he was Gona do long distance with anyone it would be me. Basically I downloaded this new chat app on my phone only to find he’s uploaded a picture with her holding hands and they seem to be on a train travelling somewhere together. He had told me they went on 7 dates together and then she lost her job and left to go back to her country. We were together for 2.5 yrs and he started dating her within a couple of months. I’m in so much pain I can’t bare it I have done no contact and I followed your system and he did come back but he made me believe we were going to get back together then he changed his mind over night.
    1.Is this a rebound?
    2. Can I get him back?
    3. How can I get him to come back and commit?

    Please Chris he’s the love of my life, he seems like a completely different person right now

    • admin
      May 25, 2014 | 2:23 pm

      He obviously lied about the long distance didn’the?

      • Loyola
        May 27, 2014 | 9:58 pm

        Yes clearly, but he seems to be ashamed of her cause he’s hiding her from me and also he told his friends where he lives that he is just having fun and it’s not serious.
        Do you think it’s just a rebound?
        Why have I suddenly become a game after 2.5 years? How do I get my relationship back? I’ve worked too hard to lose him to someone that he’s just having fun with!

  22. Ellen
    May 21, 2014 | 10:31 pm

    I was with my ex for about 7.5 years. We were each other’s first in almost everything. We were best friends. I broke up with him because we had been together for most of our youths and beginning our lives as young adults. I felt that we both needed to see other people. I especially wanted him to get whatever he needed to out of system. If we were to ever get married, I figured if we didn’t see other people one of us might end up having a mid-life crisis and cheat on the other. Secondly, I had finished college and had applied to a really good program for continuing education as well as to pursue my career in another state. He was still in school. We broke up when I moved in Sept. 2011 with the intention of maybe one day getting back together. We stayed in contact. He even came to visit me once. Last year, I met someone and started dating him. Because rent is so high in my area, we decided to move in to cut costs- not really out of wanting to be with other more closely. My ex began dating someone about 7 months ago. Says he’s happy with her, they plan on moving in together 6 months from now when he graduates. I still love him and was still holding on to the idea that we’d try to get back together when he finished school. He thought I was over him so he decided to move on. He says he worked really hard to get over me and wants to give his new relationship a shot. He sees “wife potential” in this new girl. I know a love of almost 8 years doesn’t just disappear. Can it be that the distance between us has made it easier for him? It’s also been almost 3 years since I moved. I’m going back home to visit my family in a week; Is there a chance of me saving this? (There is no correlation, but I’m breaking up with my current boyfriend and I always knew there’d be no future with him.)

    • admin
      May 22, 2014 | 4:03 pm

      How old is he and the new girl?

    • tina
      May 27, 2014 | 9:42 am

      You’re so mature about it. I commend you. I did the same thing, I just got out of a 7 year relationship, and I can’t take him being with this new chick he met almost immediately. It’s killing me. He claims he still loves me but has moved on and is happy. I just don’t feel it in my heart, and he’s all I see for my future so this whole thing is just taking a complete toll on me and I feel like I’m dying. I don’t know the future or what’s really going on but any tips for how to remain sane and optimistic?

      • Andi
        June 23, 2014 | 7:12 pm

        I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. It hurts so badly. I also feel lost. And confused. You’re not alone. I don’t even know what to do with myself.

    • Andi
      June 23, 2014 | 7:07 pm

      I am in almost an exact same situation except my ex and I are in the same city. I’ve kept physical contact to a minimum because I was dating someone else and would feel extremely guilty if I did anything that went against that persons wishes even though I knew he wasn’t someone I would end up with. My ex also knew I was not actually wanting to be this person forever. My ex was dating other people, though. It was difficult for me, but he always told me he loved and missed me. He was sleeping around a lot, though, so I wasn’t comfortable going back to him. He broke up with me wanting to date other people, so I felt until he had it out of his system if would be painful for me. I knew he would get it out of his system and that’s when things would fall into place. And they had started falling into place. It had been 2 years and we both agreed we had learned a lot. He made it clear he wanted me back and I told him I wanted him back. I told him I would end my other relationship, but due to big event in that guys life, I would have to wait for less of an ass hole time so it wouldn’t be as painful to him. He also had to end things with someone he was dating. Only a few weeks later and before he had completely ended things with that girl, I find out he has started a relationship with someone else. An actual relationship – not just dating. This as I was becoming so happy to be back with him and back with his family and all the things I had kept close during this time and all these things I loved He said it was a difficult decision, but he couldn’t wait and went with his heart. I’m afraid it is the end. She is a great girl from what I can tell, but the pain I feel is debilitating. We were on the cusp of being together again and he chose someone else. He didn’t even tell me – I picked up on something he said. Just like that everything I had had faith in for the last two years and what looked like the final payoff got ripped from me. I don’t know what to do. I wish she would disappear. I with I could go back in time and end things with the other guy sooner. I wish I had doe so much differently. It seems like it would have actually made a difference. But my ex and I talked about our relationship details openly and I really felt he knew he was still my love, so I am just completely lost and hurt. I would rather he not have kept me around the last two years for this. I feel so incredibly cheated.

      Sorry this was so long. It was nice to get off of my chest and I see that someone else has something similar. I’ve scoured for advice, but none really fits this kind of situation.

  23. Cheyenne Davis
    May 21, 2014 | 4:33 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half. Then just before going to college he broke up with me and said I was the most rudest person. So I decided I’d better myself to not be so rude and we remained friends. I didn’t contact him as much because I loved him so much I just wanted to give him time to come back to see that I’ve changed. We ended up getting back together then I visited him because he wanted me to so bad and I confessed to him that during the period of us not being together I kissed someone else. He was angered and hurt, but we moved passed it. when he visited for Thanksgiving, he was telling me how he no longer loved me but then we talked and he said he’d always love me but he was just confused if I’d be with him after he broke up with me. So I suggested that we go back to being friends, so we did. Then I find out on a social network that he’s dating some girl. Then a month passes and he confesses thatvhe still loves me and wants to hopefully have a life with me. But I was scared he’d leave me again so I told him that I wasn’t ready. So we remained friends. He said he liked the girl but every time he was with her, he’d think about me. So he ended it. Then spring break came. My brother passed away and myvex was there for me. I did want him back when he first asked me but I just needed some time. And I planned to tell him I wanted him back but then one night another ex texted me and said was I still in love with them. He seen the message and asked to see my phone and I said no we aren’t in a relationship. Then I left. He said he didn’t want me back anymore because he felt hurt, used and neglected. So we remained friends. A few days ago, we hung out for the first time since that incident and we hugged then kissed on accident but didn’t stop. I felt like things were getting better. Until a few days later he says that he don’t really love me and to move on because he’s never coming back, and he only kissed me to see if there was something there and it wasn’t. So now he’s back with the girl he was with before. I texted him that he’s a liar and I fucking hate him. I felt so hurt and betrayed. But I am in love with him. Is there any hope? Is this girl even a rebound after he’s been with her before? Me and him have had our fair share of problems. My friends are saying move on I deserve better. But they don’t understand he’s the only guy that I have ever opened up to and I am the only girl he has told everything to. Help? Should I wait 30 days no contact or should I apologize for saying I hate him and then wait the 30 days? Or should I just learn to let go?

    • admin
      May 22, 2014 | 3:41 pm

      Why did he say you were the rudest person?

  24. Eva
    May 20, 2014 | 10:47 pm

    Okay so my boyfriend of 3 and a half years and I broke up back in December because he found out that I had hooked up with another person when we were taking a break about 8 months prior to him finding out. He and I both wanted to talk through things and figure things out but we did not have much time for us to talk about it before I had to return back to school so we just had to end things. Less than a month later he starts dating a new girl and she makes him block me out of his life from everything (his phone, twitter, Facebook, everything). He has been dating her for about 4 months now and it appears that a lot of the time he just picked up their relationship where ours left off but I don’t know. Anyways so recently I have gotten back from school again and we have been secretly hanging out together. The first few times nothing happened but the couple after that we ended up kissing which led to sex. This is while he is still dating the other girl. A few days later he breaks up with his girlfriend and has me come over and spend the night. He also invited me to go spend time with his family the next day but then took it back because he didn’t want his family to ask a billion questions about why he’s hanging around me again so soon which is understandable. And then the day after that he came to my place and stayed the night, and we made breakfast together the next day. We have had so much fun together since I have been home and now him and his girl friend are broken up. However he has not texted me since before work the day after he spent the night. I’m just wondering what I need to do to get him to see that he still loves me, he has told me he still cares about me but he is just confused about what to do. I know he doesn’t want to hurt her but that’s just the kind of person he is, I don’t know what to do to show him that he still loves me. Give me some advice please!

    • admin
      May 21, 2014 | 2:31 pm

      He really doesn’t care about his current gf at all.. Plus no offense but he is not a very good guy if he is cheating on his gf.

  25. katie
    May 18, 2014 | 5:23 pm

    I’ve been with this guy for 9 months in a relationship. I knew him before for 4 months , we haven’t met in those 4 monts , keeping it on facebook , daily talk and stuff. one day in the street a guy came talking to me , he looked younger so i had no problem talking to him then i told my boy friend about it , he was extremely jealous and he didn’t believe me when i said i was just bored , that’s why i talked to him . anyway , since that , everything went wrong and things got complicated . i didn’t know what to do and since that time i stopped talking to any guy i don’t know. then one day , i found out that hye has been talking to this girl and she was clearly under his charm so i got jealous and made a fight . at the end , i told him that i love him , he answered me with this “:)” with no i love you back sentence and he even desactivated his facebook account so i sent him a text and i told him that i’m breaking up with him. then , right away , i changed my mind but he refused to be with me again .. i was so upset , he told me to stay friends , i refused. then one day , he said he misses me so i thought he wants me back . i told him that i m gonna wait for him and that i love him , he said he used to love me and that i shouldn t wait for him so i deleted him from my facebook profile . iwas so hurt and didn t know what to do . i even wanted to suicide that night . anyway , after a while i asked him to be my friend again whith a hope too get him bach , he said yes after a lot of thoughts ! he was cold but then we started to be friends again . one day , he told me to leave him alone so i went away for 17 days trying this no contact method then i found that he s with a new girlfriend , the one we had a fight on and it killed me but i told him that i want him to be happy and i was crying .. i told him that thanks to him i knew incredable people and i thanked him but he thought i’m talking about a new guy i like while i was talking about one of his friends who’s also a friend of mine . he told me cruel stuff like be with him , i don’t care . i didn t answer , i closed that profile and i walked away but it’s killing me and nobody gets it. please help me

    • admin
      May 20, 2014 | 9:01 pm

      So, what about him make syou want him back?

  26. Adeline
    May 15, 2014 | 9:48 pm

    I broke up with my ex boyfriend over two years ago we dated for about 2 years and we always kept in touch ,We were always in good terms. Our relationship had our ups and downs but honestly I was a terrible girlfriend . recently I found out he has a new girlfriend and I think hes happy , I personally think it would be really selfish of me to try and get him back but I saw him at a family reunion and I felt “butterflies ” I cant stop thinking about him and I cant help but to look through our old convos . Idk what to do !! any advice ?

    • admin
      May 20, 2014 | 5:51 pm

      How bad of a girlfriend where you exactly?

      • Adeline
        May 21, 2014 | 10:02 pm

        I cheated on him a twice and i would always deny it .. the only reason we broke up was because i couldnt stop feeling guilty for what i did .

        • admin
          May 22, 2014 | 3:57 pm

          Well, what caused you to cheat on him?

          • Adeline
            May 22, 2014 | 11:42 pm

            Being drunk .

  27. tina
    May 13, 2014 | 4:51 am

    My ex and I were together for 7 years. We lived together at our parents house for a total of 5 years. We have never had an issue living with one another but our relationship in general was not the greatest, but what relationship is? So I felt I had lost myself in this whole process. I felt I invested all of me into him and us, and forgot about me as an individual. So I decided to go out on a limb and move out and into a guest house with my best friend, mind you I didn’t even move more than 1.5 miles away. Within a month I come to find out he’s been seeing someone. It crushed me and made me lose it cause our “space” was for soul searching and I felt he loved way too fast. He tried to come back a few times since but changed his mind every time. It was painful to be a part of but I still love him dearly. I miss not only him, but our doggy that I cannot take care of as I’d like, his family, and just about everything. I’ve been focusing on me, and dating but nothing seems to be truly healing me. What’s going in with him? He claims he’s over me, but still loves me, but can’t see me. I’m just lost and confused and wondering, what can I do? It’s been almost 6 months since I’ve moved out. He’s 25, and I’m 24. I just need some answers.

    • tina
      May 13, 2014 | 4:53 am

      He’s “moved” way to fast. Not loved.

    • admin
      May 13, 2014 | 5:03 pm

      Why do you say your relationship wasn’t the greatest?

      • tina
        May 16, 2014 | 7:01 am

        I say that because no relationship is perfect. But there were lots of things we could have worked on but he wasn’t the greatest with communication so every time there was an argument he’d wanna move past it without fixing it necessarily.

        • tina
          May 26, 2014 | 3:55 am

          Am I gonna get some help here? :(

  28. Jodie
    May 11, 2014 | 3:56 pm

    My ex (24) broke up with me (20) about 3 weeks ago. We’d been together for about 9 months and for the most part had been ridiculously happy – I have a year left at uni and he was encouraging me to think about us moving in together ASAP, talking about ‘when’ we get engaged, the whole package. We were constantly in contact and both talked about how we’d never felt like this before.
    Before we were together (we met when I worked at the same company as him for a few months), I know he used to go out a lot and got with a fair number of girls. However as soon as we were a couple he had no interest, all he wanted to do was spend time with me and the one time I practically made him spend time with his friends he ended up leaving early.
    But, about 7-8 months in to our relationship, I received a text saying he’d become boring – he wanted to see his friends more. I thought this was a good thing – until he basically overnight spent every evening with them getting drunk and going out as often as he could. He began to lie, ignore and lose interest in me. I became panicky and upset a lot, we had fights which always resulted in him saying he was being silly and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. We broke up once for a few hours but when I went to get my stuff he was remorseful once more and we made up – he turned back into my perfect boyfriend and took me out for dinner and talked about the future again, and we slept together. The next night we spent together his friends were constantly messaging him to go out – he ignored them and again we slept together. However, a couple of days later he started being strange again and ended it via text – basically saying he was sorry but whenever he was with me he wanted to be with his friends and he was done with the relationship. This time when I got my stuff he was very distant – told me I was fantastic etc but he just wasn’t happy. I got upset and asked him (maybe verged on begged) to reconsider but he was just totally distanced from the situation.
    I did start NC for 3 weeks and was doing okay – he did ask me how an exam went so I just replied with good and that was it. I blocked him on Facebook as I couldn’t stand the photos of him going out every night whilst I was stuck revising – but today a girl we both know (she works at the company we both did) was tagged in some photos of a night out. She’s 18 but he was all over her in them. I got really upset and broke NC by calling him from a hidden number and asked what he was doing. He basically asked me if I expected anything less of him, that he couldn’t believe we’d only been apart a few weeks as he’d been having so much fun and his life was none of my business. He admitted he’d got with her but refused to answer my question of if they were a couple now. I asked him if we could meet once my exams were over (this was something we’d talked about when breaking up) but he said there was no point and I was clinging on. He told me to stop sending him Snapchats – something I genuinely didn’t realise I had been since I thought deleting his number got rid of him on there too, so I haven’t been as NC as I thought. Basically, the phonecall ended with him saying he can do what he like and he just hung up on me. I messaged him a long message saying I know he’s hurting too blah blah then deleted all ways of contacting him.
    All my friends and family are appalled at how he’s acting and are telling me I can do better etc – but none of them understand just how blissfully happy I was when things were good between us. We had a whole future planned out – I don’t understand how he could just change his mind just like that? He refers to himself as a commitment-phobe – sorry but do they talk about marriage and kids on a constant basis? This is the guy that stayed up all night when I was in a different city just to make sure I got back to my hotel okay after a concert.
    He told me I was ‘different’ to all the other women he’d been with… was he just talking crap/using me? I’ve just been left so lost and confused, any advice would be much appreciated :)

    • admin
      May 12, 2014 | 6:37 pm

      Like I always tell everyone.

      Take words out of the equation for a minute. Do his actions agree with his words?

      • Jodie
        May 13, 2014 | 10:02 am

        I think so, I mean before things turned weird he genuinely always went out of his way to do things for me… to the outside world he’s not a soppy person at all but always was with me, little gifts etc. As soon as he left the first thing he’d ask is when we were seeing each other again..

  29. Louisa
    May 10, 2014 | 2:11 pm

    My ex and I were together in a long-distance relationship for 1 year and a half and have known each other for 2 years and a half. We broke up 4 months ago mainly because of practical reasons but still had feelings for each other. He’s been with a new girl the moment we broke up and going on vacation with her next month.
    We have been keeping in touch and texting even though I tried the no contact for a bit, I never finished it and we continued texting. I regret not having done no contact before.
    My question is, would no contact now work after all this time and isn’t it strange to stop answering him when we’re on ‘ok-terms’?
    Thank you.

    • admin
      May 12, 2014 | 6:24 pm

      It might be a little strange. If you are worried about it that much you can do limited contact.

      • Louisa
        May 14, 2014 | 12:06 pm

        Thank you for your reply :)

        What do you mean by limited contact? Is it keeping my conversations over text or email shorter? Or contacting him less?
        For now he’s been the one initiating contact and not me.

        Thanks again.

        • admin
          May 14, 2014 | 4:13 pm

          No only talk to him if he talks to you first.

  30. J
    May 9, 2014 | 2:27 am

    Chris, you don’t even know my pain!

    Okay, so I’ve been on this site a couple of times. All at different stages of the break up process.
    I managed 3 months and half before texting my ex boyfriend. Essentially, I text him wishing him and his new girlfriend (the ex before me!) luck. I am naturally devastated because he said it was over between them before we got together. Hmmmm.
    Anyway, we ended on bad terms, and as far as I’m aware, he stood me up and ignored an email that I sent him asking him why he stood me up. So I sent him the text wishing him luck and it started by saying, ‘up until this point, I was hoping that we could work things out – even on a basic friendship level…’
    He then responded, first time saying that ‘I made my choice when I ignored him, and treated him like a stranger’ – WHAT?
    So I then messaged back, explaining what happened on my side, and now I’m awaiting a response from him.

    My thing is that this is the first time in nearly 3/4 months that we are talking and he is implying that I ignored him, but in my reality, it was the other way around. I’m sure he got my texts and emails, so I wonder if he is just messing with me because he wants me to be begin he again.

    Chris, do you know what though? I’m a strong believer of karma and I’m not about to try and steal my ex boyfriend away from his ex girlfriend (well not an ex really). So it’s like, (depending on his answer) I’m going to respond and essentially tell him that I love him, but that I don’t want to be in a love triangle like that.

    What do you think?

    • admin
      May 9, 2014 | 3:41 pm

      What do I think about karma?

      Not sure I buy in to it but I would sure love it if it existed.

  31. marisol
    May 8, 2014 | 11:13 pm

    okay i was with this guy for a year. we move in together the last three months we were together . thing got complicated and i went to one of my guy friends for advice and he found out and though i was “talking ” to my guy friend we broke up and he went to another girl. we talk here and there but always end going back to the other girl will this still work if i follow these rules?

    • admin
      May 9, 2014 | 3:34 pm

      Yes… but look at the updated version of this guide.

  32. NC again?
    May 7, 2014 | 1:40 pm

    Will no contact work again even if ive messed up many times by either not finishing it or messaging him to argue to get back together. Hes been flirting with this girl he took to prom ever since prom and when i found out an confornte him about it he told me she was just a friend who needed a daye. Now they are both completely flirting with each other and flaunting it ive been in my possibly 3rd try of NC and its been two weeks so far. What should i do?!

    • admin
      May 7, 2014 | 3:53 pm

      It can work again but it will be less effective.

      • NC NC NC
        May 8, 2014 | 4:18 am

        Then what should I do to be effective?

        • NC NC NC
          May 9, 2014 | 12:46 pm

          Ahhh im starting to get so worried that he maybe might like her… Please help. Right now i feel like maybe the grass is greener on the other side.. I love all the articles gou’ve made but its hars to know what to do when i’ve messed up a few times on no contact.

          • admin
            May 9, 2014 | 3:44 pm

            I understand. You are in one of the most painful situations but keep the focus on YOU and not him right now ok.

            • NC NC NC
              May 10, 2014 | 4:04 am

              Well im adding on two more weeks of completely no contacting him, not even looking at his facebook or checking if he checks me recent snapchats. But i just wonder like what can I do after that or while to just get him back since at times i turn insecure about him with this new girl.

            • NC NC NC
              May 10, 2014 | 2:59 pm

              Lately i’ve gotten new clothes and posted a couple pictures with my guy best friend making my life seem fun and happy. But i keep thinking back to the picture kf him at prom with his arms around her waist and how she flirts with him to the point that everyone is shipping them together. Do you think that he could possibly like this girl? Or is it that she is a rebound? Because hes complained about how our dates got repetitive and the spark went out since when we got back together for three months it was mainly sexual things we did instead of bonding.

              • NC NC NC
                May 18, 2014 | 5:15 am

                So itd been 3 weeks of no contact so far. I recently posted up a picture of me winnin my tournament and he liked my picture right away on instagram. Whst do you think this means? Especially since im refusing to look through his instagram pictures but i noticed immediately that his instagram profile picture is one of him and that girl at prom. Is he just playing with me, trying to encourage me to move on or possibly trying to contact or reach out to me???

                • admin
                  May 20, 2014 | 8:53 pm

                  Is he dating the girl from prom officially?

                  • NC NC NC
                    May 20, 2014 | 10:04 pm

                    I’m not sure because his family is on facebook so he can’t put it on facebook and I don’t want to stalk him to find out.

                    • NC NC NC
                      May 23, 2014 | 5:57 am

                      So im thinking about reaching out to him this weekend but i dont know what to say!!

  33. jem
    May 6, 2014 | 3:56 pm

    I wrote on here before but didn’t get any answer so hoping can get one this time.
    I will be breif as much as I can, me and my ex boyfriend broke up last August and he started seeing another girl about 6 weeks after we split, she was clearly a rebound. Me and him were still sleeping together for 2-3 months into their relationship cos he said he still did love me but he liked her and stuff, then she found out but stayed with him cos she didn’t believe it and they moved in together and got a 6 months lease on a flat. I didn’t speak to him for about 3-4 months at all and then he got in contact with me and said hes been unhappy for months and he made a mistake jumping into it and he wants out cos he’s so unhappy cos basically she is a physco, she hits him and just basically makes his life a living hell but he can’t get out of it as she is the joint on the tenancy and she would just refuse to pay and stuff. weve been sleeping together for the past couple of months now, while I’ve also been helping him through all the shit and been a friend to him, obviously there are still feelings their between us and he hasnt ruled us getting back together in the future, he says he knows he needs to leave her but it’s so hard and if it wasn;t for the flat he would of left by now. Im just fed up of him keep complaining about her and saying he’s gunna give her one more chance then he just goes back. I’m not really sure what to do because I do love him but this whole situation is stressing me out and getting me down, he has about 2 months left on the tenancy and i’m not really sure what to do cos talking about it and being a friend and giving him advice that he isn’t taking is hard! I dont know! :( I dont know whether to wait or not!?

  34. Bailey
    May 2, 2014 | 5:48 pm

    Hey.. I will try to sum this up..
    My ex and I broke up officially in November (we had been having a rough patch for awhile). We dated for over a year and lived together. I am 23 and he turned 26 last week. We still talked a little bit at that time. He got me a really nice gift for Christmas and we hungout a few days after Christmas, we talked about getting back together.. A couple days later he completely changed and said we shouldn’t talk anymore. I became very needy and naggy and pushed him to being really hateful and he told me to never talk to him again. I listened and didn’t say much other than him getting the rest of his stuff from my apartment (we had lived together). We haven’t really talked since January. I found out last week that he has a new girlfriend. Is that a rebound? What do you think I should do? We have done NC for 3 months.

  35. Trisha Sharma
    April 30, 2014 | 2:41 pm

    Hi.. i need your help.. I’ve been in a relationship witj a guy from past 2years 7 months… we had lots of good memories together… i mean we were considered the best couple in town.. we were so madly n deeply in love with each other that we could never think of splitting apart.. everything was great between us it was a perfect relationship..but now the conditions are totally different ..he’s totally changed.. i mean we had a fight over a stupid issue and he broke up with me on the 26th of march and he entered into a new relationship on 5april.. i mean wtf.. n now he has been with that girl for like 25 days.. n i am seriously shattered .. i did everything to restore our relationship.. but i failed.. i don’t know what to do cuz m deeply in love with this guy.. n i know that no other guy could ever take his place in my life.. m so deeply attached to him n i miss him like crazy.. it hurts me when he talks about that girl.. n it hurted me when he said that he can’t leave her cuz he likes her.. m so in love with him n i want to get him back.. plz help you can’t imagine as to what i am going ryt now.. help.. how do i get him back

    • admin
      May 6, 2014 | 6:27 pm

      Have you tried the no contact rule on him yet?

  36. SkinnyDragon23
    April 29, 2014 | 7:55 am

    Okay, I am a sophomore in high school and so is my ex. He is a good kid, does not sleep around or anything, and so am I. It has been two years since we dated, and I have mostly had feelings for him since then, and I know for sure that he liked me a lot for a year after we dated, don’t know how long exactly. Being young and stupid, I wanted to go date super hot boys and whatnot, so was pretty much feeling that grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side sorta thing. But eventually I cooled down, and earlier this year I danced with my ex at a school dance and realized that I still have feelings for him and that things could go beautifully for us if I would just let them, and he showed interest in me too. But now he has a girlfriend… one who is super athletic, a junior, super involved in everything in our community and loved by all “I am somewhat more of an outsider than her, since I moved about 2 and a half years ago to this tiny close-knit farming community”, and has a 4.0. I feel intimidated by her because she is pretty much everything I wish I could be, and I can’t imagine why my ex would ever want to get back with me, even though he liked me for such a long time. I want to try to get him back, but my problems are 1. His girlfriend is perfect 2. I feel like one of those sneaky player girls that people hate for trying to steal a guy from another girl and 3. I don’t know if he likes me still. I do not have experience with serious dating, so I am nowhere near smooth or confident with romantic stuff, since most of my flings were just super casual and none were very meaningful or involved, but this certain boy just means a lot more to me and I miss that happiness that I felt when I was around him. Anyways, sorry for the long rambling. What can I try to do, if I should do anything, to get him back?

    • SkinnyDragon23
      April 29, 2014 | 8:04 am

      Sorry to add to that already long paragraph. When we were at the dance, he had a different girlfriend at the time that he hadn’t been dating for very long and even admitted to me that he missed me. So he has liked me for a long time, but like I said, I don’t know if he still does and we have had long periods of time where we just don’t talk to each other because we get busy with school. He hasn’t yet shown any signs of him still having feelings for me, but I haven’t tried to bring it up because I don’t want to cause trouble with his girlfriend.

      • admin
        April 30, 2014 | 1:17 am

        To me it just sounds like a normal 16 year old kid being all over the place. Have you frozen him out yet?

        • SkinnyDragon23
          April 30, 2014 | 1:52 am

          No, I haven’t.

  37. mia hudo
    April 29, 2014 | 7:46 am

    Hey Chris,
    I have been searching for so many “how to get your ex boyfriend back” articles on google and I came across your website last week and found it to be the most interesting one.
    I thought I’d try to reach out to you here on facebook and maybe leave a comment on your website also as I know you must be so extremely busy with all the help you are trying to give us women.
    I am in a really confusing place at the moment and I really need a guy’s perspective on it. You seem to know EXACTLY what’s going on.

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up exactly 15 days ago, he broke it off. We were together exclusively for 9 months but have been together for a year and a half including the 9 months.
    We had the perfect relationship, everybody seem to think so also.
    We were different from each other, I was a studious type who is very focused in my studies and career and he was an athlete who didn’t take his study that seriously until he met me.
    I couldn’t see it working for a long time and he was also a good friend of my ex (who had a very messy break up with me and still hates me to this day) and hence why we took so long to become exclusive. He convinced me at the end and I realised our differences are the things that made us work.

    I have had very bad experiences with men in my life that had caused me to have a major trust issues. It was something that my ex knew of and have been totally supportive and patient about.
    But for some reason, I had this thing in me where I could never see that he had put so so much effort into our relationship to make me believe that he loves me and wasn’t going anywhere. I seem to think that nothing or no one could ever be that perfect and something would go wrong.
    This was a mindset that I had for the last 6 months of our relationship together.
    It wasn’t fair on him and I realized that and I ended up asking for us to have a ‘time out’ a month before he broke up with me.
    During the two weeks that we weren’t together, I realized a lot of things that went wrong and how terrible I had been to him. I slapped him twice after acted really irrationally towards him because I thought I was getting betrayed.
    He said that he deserved it but I immediately explained that it didn’t matter if he deserved it, it wasn’t right and I would never ever want to hurt him like that. I meant every single word of it and had been trying to make it up to him ever since.

    We got back together after two weeks and things were really good. I told him that I wanted to change, not for him but it was for my own sake. We never spoke about everything that went wrong in our relationship as we didn’t want to fight anymore and thought that we were over it. I was a bit worried about this at the start but eventually we started to talk about it one by one and things seem to be progressing.
    I was trying so much to hold my emotions together because I didn’t want to lose and hurt him and there was a moment that I was sure that I was being unfairly treated because I couldn’t express my feelings as I used to.
    He started to pick his mates a lot more over me and I was missing the affection and the thought of being the most important thing in his life.

    I should mention that he had just been chosen to play for a national football team. I have always been scared that if he made it to this team that he would change as a person and leave me for another girl who was more suited to an athlete.
    And I think this was why I freaked out and pushed him away.

    We both have never slept with anyone and we were going to be each other’s first one.
    We broke up after the weekend that we planned to do so.
    We failed to go through that step as I was expecting a lot from him and he had a major test the next day.
    I felt like he was crushing my dignity by ignoring my wish to be eased into the decision and he felt like he’s tried everything and just wanted to focus on his test and not worry about it.

    I have begged and tried to convince him the next day that we just needed to talk about everything but he seem to have made up his mind the moment that he failed to do well in his test because of me.
    We talked about everything with a third adult person being there.
    He was persistent and said we didnt fit and he loved me but there was nothing in him to make him want to try again.
    He said his heart wouldn’t be in it even if we tried to make us work one more time as we have tried to make us work way too many times and we failed to do so everytime. We have been unhappy for a while, well he has.
    He cried in front of me when we broke up and I kept it together and made sure I didn’t cry and just talked and laughed with someone else. We shared a look before we left each other and didn’t speak after the break up.

    We have planned a future together and I am absolutely devastated that I have lost such a great guy. I could never see something working as clearly as I have been with him and he was really my rock that kept me together.

    During the 15 days that we have been broken up, I have realized that a lot of this break up was caused because of me.
    I have became someone else and lost the person that he once was in love with.
    I became clingy, controlling, demanding and very untrusting.
    What he did was never enough, no matter how much he’s tried to show me.

    I have not contacted him at all in this 15 days and tried my best to be okay and make it look like that I am okay especially on facebook.
    He has asked his friends about me and how I am going. I am unsure with what they said but I am assuming they are saying that I was fine.
    I have found out recently that he is moving on and he had been going out a lot and meeting new girls.
    He was not one to talk to many girls but it seems like that he has been talking a lot with this one girl on facebook and snapchatting a lot.

    I am scared that he’s going to fall in love with this new girl and forget everything about me and lose all interest in ever working it out with me again.
    I don’t think I have ever sounded this desperate before in my life and it is killing me that I still want him this badly.

    I have planned to do NC for a month and have been making positive changes in my life.
    I got myself a haircut and a new look, join the gym and lose some weight and be a lot more involved with my friends and focus in uni again.
    A guy had asked me out for this weekend which I will say yes to.
    But I am still really struggling every day everytime I think of him and how happy he is at the moment.

    What do you think I should do?
    He has given me a second chance before and probably many chances during our relationship when I became unreasonable and irrational. He’s stuck it through with me a LOT. I feel as though I have completely lost my chances and there is NO WAY he would want to try again.
    Is there such thing as a third chance?

    I really hope to hear from you soon.
    So sorry for my long message.
    Thank you so much, what you are doing here for all of us women out here is amazing…!

    • admin
      April 30, 2014 | 1:16 am

      Hi there,

      First off thanks for commenting!

      Right now just focus on taking things one day at a time. You have the right mindset you really do. But just take it one day at a time.

  38. moonlight
    April 28, 2014 | 9:23 pm

    I got a promotion and work and because we work for the same company he was bound to get the notification. I knew he would say something cause we are not bitter. In fact I’m only on a second no contact only because I got neutral responses from him after some very positive ones. His email in response to my promotion went like this….

    “well well! Aren’t we making moves???? That’s great news!!CONGRATS SHORTY!!! ”

    I responded to his email….All I said was “thank you…..”

    What do you guys think? Any insight would help my anxious heart and mind. It’s been about 13 days since our last text. I’m thinking of going to ATB maybe later this week or early next…
    I should mention the last I knew he was still with his girlfriend that he got less than a month after we split

    • admin
      April 30, 2014 | 1:03 am

      How long has he been with her for?

      • moonlight
        April 30, 2014 | 3:09 am

        About 9 months…. We’ve been split for about 10

      • moonlight
        May 1, 2014 | 12:30 am

        Any further insight?

  39. Lissa
    April 27, 2014 | 2:57 pm

    I was dating this boy that i really like . We were doing good until he told me wanted to see other people . One of my friends that was also the that got us together . She ask him if he still like me . He said yes . But then he kiss her . And told her that somebody dare him to kiss her . . She kept trying to make me talk to him . Then i found out that he starded to go out with this girl. I got 2 question for u . One was he just playing with my feeling ? Two should i get him back because i still love him?

    • admin
      April 28, 2014 | 4:22 pm

      He was just telling you what you wanted to hear not to hurt you probably…

      • Lissa
        April 28, 2014 | 11:51 pm


  40. rox
    April 24, 2014 | 12:39 am

    I would like to add here under this post Thank you for the considerable work you put into this ,you re doing a lot of good to humanity ! It s on top of any given value!

    • admin
      April 24, 2014 | 4:09 pm

      Thank you for saying that :)

  41. Jasmine
    April 23, 2014 | 4:17 pm

    Me and my ex has been together for 5 years and we have 2 children together. He broke up with me about a month ago and never gave reasons why he left. Now he is seeing another girl and they have become really close.They work together so they are always seeing each other. He says people at work thinks they are a couple but he says they really aren’t and tgat she just thinks they are but he insist that they are just friends in my opinion they are friends with benefits and im having a difficult time dealing with this. He still tells he that he loves me but he just wants to focus on the kids but hasn’t been doing that because he’s been with her. I’m trying to figure out if I should still try for me and him because im in love with him and I want my family back on track but confused on what I should do from here. what steps should I take when children are involved because the no contact probably wont work so well.

  42. rox
    April 23, 2014 | 3:36 pm

    I have been with my boyfriend in a long distance relationship since 1 year and a half. Since last summer things got more distant after also I didn ‘t succeed to transfer there with school.Now after he broke up with me I start thinking he might have had someone ,because he became more distant with me in general and in bed since end of last year. Plee answer to this:
    How can I know if he had or has someone ?
    He is thousands of miles away , I still talk to his father that doesn’t know anything. At the moment of our breakup his sister tried to contact me ,I answered but avoided to talk about him. I suppose she knows more about him , but now I tried to contact her on Easter via e mail and she did not respond.I did the NC even I communicated with his father twice during that time. His father knows that i miss gim and would like to get back.I even told him I would relocate to his place and I regret not doing that before. He told me he hasn’t spoken with him for few weeks and he didn’t know we split up. I e mailed once after the NC to remind him about some money he had to give me back , he didn’t respond,he just sent some of the money back. What should I do? I know I should go out meet people and maybe date.recently I had a bad event with school I lost my clinical placement and now i m not too happy.With dates it s not easy ,because I go out and get attached to people and then I feel my life gets too busy and involved. What do you advise me? Maybe I need to get involved hm?

    • admin
      April 24, 2014 | 3:55 pm

      How often did you two see each other in person?

      Ho far away are you two from each other right now?

      • rox
        April 25, 2014 | 8:44 pm

        We are on two different coasts. I would go after him if we would get back together.I could transfer with school or take some online classes. I’m a nurse and I find easily work.After he decided to leave NC in March 2013 to live in California
        We saw each other 3 times in spring after we drove together from NC to California ,each time I stayed a week.
        Then we had a pause until September when we went on vacation to Europe for 2 weeks.
        In October we met for few days in NY when he came with work.
        Then we met in Florida in December for a week.He was with work also.
        Then he came in February to visit for a week in NC.

        Thank you for the considerable work you put into this ,you re doing a lot of good! It s on top of any given value!

  43. Cristina
    April 23, 2014 | 1:39 pm

    Hey Chris my boyfriend and I had been together for 2 years and 5 months…our relationship in the beginning was all about him begging be everytime we got into a fight even if it was my fault…but then things changed…I decided to break up with him a month ago because it yust seemed as if he didnt care it he saw me or talked to me for the day….if I didnt call him he didnt either and the moment I told him I didnt want the relationship he had no problem letting me go…I tried the NC but he never contacted me until I contacted him (breaking NC) he responded to every txt and was very nice to me but he blocked me from Fb….fortunately I have his password and get in every now and then and I read sum inboxes between him and an apparent coworker where he seemed really interested on taking her out to dance…I heartbroked (he never wanted to go out dancing with me for the last months of our relationship….has he moved on? Do I have a chance?

  44. Rory
    April 23, 2014 | 3:12 am

    My ex and I were dating for 6 months, we took a break while he travelled, and when he came back after a few months we thought everything would be great, only we took each other for granted in many ways. He ended up getting interested in a new girl and I ended up dumping him. I get the feeling it didn’t work out with the new girl at that time.
    After a month of NC he comes back making very casual but regular conversation, but I know he is still in contact with that girl every now and again. Is he worth giving a second chance? Or should I hang back and not continue to communicate with him, as he might still be playing the field to see what he can get?

    • admin
      April 23, 2014 | 4:05 pm

      I say hang back.

  45. isheworthit?
    April 22, 2014 | 11:12 pm

    I have dated this guy off and on for 6 to 7 months. He breaks up with me and than wants me back, twice this happens and I keep giving him these chances and than wanted me to wait for him since he did not know what he wanted and needed time to figure stuff out. I waited for him for two months till “apparently” we agreed to be friends. He’s starting to never text me and hanging out with this other girl that I feel he’s starting to like and going to date. He was the best person I have ever dated and sweet. I really want him back and I have tried moving on but can’t please help. Should I have him back?

    • admin
      April 23, 2014 | 3:57 pm


      How is he the best person you ever dated if you two were breaking up and getting back together all the time?

  46. Samantha
    April 22, 2014 | 4:37 pm

    we’ll I just recently had a dream of me and my ex boyfriend and It was a good dream I just wished he hadn’t broken up with me :( I miss him but I know he hates me

    • admin
      April 23, 2014 | 3:36 pm

      He has a new gf I am assuming?

  47. alicia
    April 22, 2014 | 11:05 am

    After reading through all your advice on getting my ex back, I have finally come to the conclusion I’m better off without him. I realize I was spending way too much time on trying to be with someone that is not worth it. You actually have great ideas and your right on with your advice. I appreciate you. I just see now that I deserve better than what I was given and what I was fighting for. Thank u

  48. Shaneese
    April 20, 2014 | 10:25 pm

    My boyfriend (23) and I (19) have been together for over 2 years 6 months. We have lived together for 1 year. Two days ago we both decided to break up, he wanted to have space and be single, he told me he doesn’t know what he wants and that he has feelings for a work colleague he met 2 weeks ago so it was unfair to me that he continues our relationship whilst he has feelings for another. He says he still loves me but has lost the spark which he has found in this work colleague he has just met. Basically he broke up with me to see if anything happens with her. I didn’t want to end the relationship but I did in order for him to be happy. I have 2 weeks untill I can see him again unless he has gotten into a relationship with the work colleague, oh also she has boyfriend, but apparently she might break up with him to be with my boyfriend. I just want him back badly. Everyone has said we are soul mates and were perfect together.

    • Shaneese
      April 20, 2014 | 10:41 pm

      Sorry my question is, should I try to forget about him even though I really want him back?

      • admin
        April 21, 2014 | 4:08 pm

        Only if you think the percentage chance has dropped so low you don’t think its realistic to get him back.

    • admin
      April 21, 2014 | 4:15 pm

      How do you know she would break up with her boyfriend?

      Is she cheating on him?

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