Breaking up with someone is extremely difficult but it’s not the actual breakup that is the worst part. No, I’m betting that it’s what happens after the breakup where things get tough.

Often that’s where I’ll have clients saying things like,

I miss my ex so much…

I need to get him back….

Help me, I’ll do anything!

I’ve long theorized that most of the breakup decisions occur inside the head. So, it makes sense that, that is where the most difficult part of the breakup occurs.

It’s those thoughts that follow you around that never let up that make you miss your ex.

Where you are simply walking around and everything reminds you of them.

Oh my god, (insert song) came on the radio. That was our song.

Look at that car, that was my exes car.

Look at that color, that was their color.

Ok, maybe that last one was a stretch.

Here’s my point.

You are struggling right now that’s probably why you felt the need to come online and search around for a way to stop the pain you are feeling.

I know!

I’ve been there.

So, here is my promise to you.

I am going to teach you what you need to do to NOT miss your ex as much while at the same time creating a situation where they will be drawn to you again.

Sound fair?

Let’s get started!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

I Miss My Ex So Much, How Can I Get Them Back?

Making your ex miss you is easier than you think.

Sounds cliche, right?

But it really is.

In fact, I’ve found a way for you to do that in four simple steps,

  1. Understand the changes your body is going through
  2. Utilize A No Contact Rule
  3. Rework The Internal Conversation Going On In Their Head
  4. Make Use Of A Trojan Horse

Now, I am going to go out on a limb here and say you have no clue what I am talking about with these four steps, right?

Well, no worries because I am going to help you through this process step by step.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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1. Understand The Changes Your Body Is Going Through

This is such an odd place to start an article on getting an ex back, right?

Well, I don’t know who originally said it but,

Knowledge is power

And I think it’s going to be important for you to become knowledgable about what your body is going through right now so we can adapt.

When I started this article I talked about how for some people going through a breakup can be difficult because everything is a constant reminder of their ex.

It’s been well recorded that going through a breakup is kind of like going through a withdrawal period.

In fact, scientists have done studies where they hooked the brain up onto an MRI machine and asked people questions who had just recently gone through a breakup and they found that the part of the brain that lights up is the same exact part that lights up in cocaine addicts going through withdrawal (source.)

In essence, your body is craving your ex and there is seemingly nothing you can do about it.

Hence, this is why you miss your ex so much.

The Problem With Missing Your Ex So Much

Lets pretend we have two individuals trying to win their ex back.

  • Individual A = Misses their ex so much and will do anything to get them back
  • Individual B = Wants their ex back but isn’t willing to put them on a pedestal. In fact, they have adopted an “oh well” mindset.

Which one do you think has a better chance of getting their ex back?

Well, my personal research has found that individual B will be successful.

But why?

Well, I think it has to do with the fact that individual A reeks of desperation and exes can sense that.

And therein lies our problem.

Generally missing your ex isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that it’s completely natural.

But if you are ultimately going to be trying to win your ex back then you have to approach things a bit differently.

You need find a way to ensure that they aren’t plaguing your every thought.

How Can You Get Your Mind Off Your Ex

Yesterday I had a coaching call with a client who was trying to get her ex back and she told me a really interesting story.

Basically my client had a big presentation to give on a specific day. I mean, she had prepared for this presentation for months.

Well, the day before she was due to give the presentation she noticed that her ex, who she was still friends with on Facebook, had put up a picture with another girl and changed his status to the dread,

“In A Relationship…”

Upon seeing this she was distraught and immediately started having a panic attack.

“What do I do?”

“This is impossible…”

“I can’t get him back anymore”

Needless to say she was pretty depressed.

But that’s when something interesting happened. Instead of sulking in the corner of her hotel room she had to wake up the next day and give this big presentation.

After the presentation people wanted to interview her and ask her questions.

She ended up not coming back to her hotel room until late at night.

She hardly thought of her ex with the new girl at all.

Why?

Well, she was so busy she didn’t have time to think about it. And I think she unlocked the key to not missing her ex so much.

Basically force yourself to be so busy you don’t have time to think about your ex that much.

2. Utilize A No Contact Rule

If you are an avid reader of our website and know what the no contact rule is then you probably don’t need to read this section.

However, if this is one of your first times reading this website then I highly recommend you soak everything up that I am about to tell you.

Utilizing a no contact rule is essential if you want to stop from missing your ex so much and also have them become more drawn to you.

Why?

Well, before I get into the psychology of it let me first explain what the no contact rule is.

The No Contact Rule: A period of time (usually 21, 30 or 45 days) where you ignore your ex (barring a few exceptions,) while at the same time cultivating your own personal life.

Oh, and if you are more of a visual learner then check out this video explaining the no contact rule,

And also this video explaining how to know if the no contact rule is working,

Now, why is it so important for you to use the no contact rule?

Above I stated that your breakup is kind of like an addiction and you are always going to be looking for a fix.

The no contact rule is your first line of defense to prevent you engaging in that addiction.

The No Contact Rule Success Rate

One of my favorite articles (probably because it was the easiest to write) was my article on the NC success stories.

In it I make some pretty interesting statements.

Specifically,

We noticed that 70% of success stories on our website utilize the no contact rule. That figure becomes even higher in our FB group where 95% of our success stories have cited the no contact rule as essential to their success.

Now, if that doesn’t convince you that the no contact rule is a great way to attack these horrible “I miss him so much” feelings you are having perhaps this next one will.

I have noticed an interesting through line with all no contact periods being the individuals who used the time away from their ex wisely.

In other words, instead of sitting on their hands and obsessing during the time away from their ex they used their time away constructively.

What did they do?

Well, they engaged in “The Holy Trinity.”

For a quick explanation of the holy trinity check out this video,

3. Rework The Internal Conversation Going On In Their Head

Perception is everything when it comes to this.

If you really want to make a go at getting your ex back then one concept you really have to understand is that it’s not what you say or do that matters as much as how they perceive you in their head.

Here is a really interesting statistic you may not know.

Out of the thousands of success stories we have had over the years roughly half of them will break up again.

Why?

Well, it’s because the true decision on whether your ex will take you back for good happens after you get them back.

Think about it for a moment.

When you and your ex reunite it is exciting and filled with quite a bit of emotion.

It’s not until after they are pulled out of fantasy land that reality sets in and if you aren’t a strong enough force on your ex they will immediately regret their decision and your “new relationship” is doomed to fail.

It’s this internal conversation your ex has in their head that I want to highlight.

Overcoming Your Exes Internal Conversation

I am going to ask you a very simple question.

Why is it that your ex doesn’t want you back?

Did you cheat on them

Could they not stand your laugh anymore

Is it something as basic as them “losing feelings”

Do you even know?

You may not have even thought about it but I am here to tell you that thinking about it just became one of the most important tasks of your life currently.

And I am not talking about taking out a piece of paper and listing out all the reasons your ex gave you for the breakup. Often I find exes don’t have the best track record of being honest with you.

I am talking about figuring out those internal headwinds that they aren’t telling you about.

And that requires some serious soul searching on your part.

Sometimes that soul searching leads you to truths you’d rather not face.

  • Is it your looks?Are you not good looking enough?
  • Did he just think he could do better than me?

Now, I know what you are thinking.

“I get what you are saying Chris but how can I figure something out like this?”

Well, it’s a lot easier than you think.

Words Vs. Actions Theory

I work better with examples so lets pretend that your ex tells you that he doesn’t love you anymore.

Ok, that’s a pretty basic reason for a breakup and I certainly have thoughts about that type of logic,

The normal person takes a statement like that at face value and moves on assuming that is what happened.

But lets say that a few weeks after your breakup you, like my client in the story above, find out that your ex is dating someone new.

And to make matters worse it’s someone you know.

It’s that pesky bi*ch that your ex works with.

UGH, the nerve of this guy (in the example your ex is a guy.)

Now, your exes words clearly stated that he broke up with you because he started losing his feelings for you.

However, his actions tell a different story don’t they.

So, what are you to believe?

Under no circumstance should you ever prioritize words over actions. In fact, actions are everything when it comes to this business!

So, one of the best ways to determine what is really going on in your exes mind is to study their actions.

Simply remove words from the equation.

4. Make Use Of A Trojan Horse

You ever read the Illiad?

I certainly did.

In fact, I remember begging my dad to buy it for me when I was at a bookstore as a young child.

And I took this book with me everywhere.

But perhaps my most interesting memory of it was taking it with me to church as a kid. After all, my mom was making me go so I’ll be damned if I am not going to find some kind of enjoyment out of it.

The premise of the book is pretty simple.

A 10 year war is being waged after Paris (a Trojan) steals Helen from Agamemnon’s brother (Greek.) Eventually the war concludes after the Trojans are stupid enough to pull a gigantic horse into their city with a bunch of Greeks hiding in it.

That’s where the origin of “Trojan Horse” comes from.

It’s essentially become another way of saying “sneak attack.”

Well, I am going to teach you how to use a trojan horse to hopefully make your ex obsessed with you.

So, in order for me to fully explain this to you I’ll need you to grasp a couple of concepts.

The first concept is the idea of Misattribution of Emotions.

Here is a quick video explaining it’s premise,

The second premise we’ve already talked about quite a bit and that’s the idea of obsession.

Specifically as it relates to the addiction of a breakup.

How The Trojan Horse Works

Let’s begin with the end in mind.

The end goal here is to create an event that causes your ex to think about you obsessively without him even realizing that you caused the event.

In effect, it’s a mental trojan horse.

And we are going to utilize the idea of MOE (misattribution of emotions) to do it.

If you were too lazy to watch the video above then take a moment to go back and watch it.

MOE basically states that when human beings feel something they are likely to attach those emotions onto something that makes sense.

Now, let me ask you what is something that requires investment from you but at the same time yields so many positive emotions that it makes it all worth it?

If you guessed reading a book or watching a tv show then you’d be right.

Have you ever gotten so into a book or tv show that it’s all you can ever think about?

  • You daydream about it in your free time.
  • You look up fan art
  • You obsess about it

Chances are you are doing things like that because it makes you feel emotional.

What if we were able to forever attach ourselves to a piece of literature or a tv show?

And what if every time your ex watched that tv show or read that book they’d naturally associate it with you.

Sounds pretty awesome, right?

Here’s what I’d like you to do.

  1. Think of something your ex hasn’t seen or read before (you might have more luck with books)
  2. Gift that something to your ex when the time is right. Generally this will be after the no contact rule when attraction is being built.
  3. Create an incentive to ensure that your ex reads it
  4. Bask in the glory of MOE

Now, perhaps the most brilliant (or evil) part of this strategy is that every time there is a holy sh*t moment that makes your ex smile in the book or TV show they will associate it with you.

Especially if you gifted it to them.

Conclusion

Hey guys!

I just wanted to say thank you for making it to the end of this article.

Most people never do.

In fact, most people just skim the headings and think they’ve learned everything they need to know.

Your not that person are you?

Well, if you are then you probably won’t try hard enough to read in between the heads and miss an important bit of information.

My team and I will be personally responding to anyone who asks us a question in this article.

So if you are needing help on your situation with your ex.

Then you might want to check out the comments below!

What to Read Next

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45 thoughts on “I Miss My Ex So Much”

  1. Avatar

    Sunflower

    February 28, 2020 at 11:17 pm

    Hi guys,

    Long story short, my ex of 2 years left me in December 2019 because I lied over something so small this is the 3rd I have lied over little things ( which I know a lie is a lie) I feel so horrible about it I lied because I didn’t want to have an argument about it & every time we would argue he would end it with me but he did start changing and instead of always ending it he would communit with me about the issue.. Since December I’ve been chasing and begging (I regret it now). Since we have broken up he’d would ask if I have met anyone else etc anyway about a month ago he stopped asking and just started ignoring me. 2 weeks ago I told him I really want to work this out I pleaded my case and I couldn’t stop crying. All he said to me was there is no more us its over. Since then I started the no contact its been so hard and I miss him so much! He watches my whats app stories, he has never had a whats app image of himself but just recently he put one up as his profile picture. Not sure if he is doing this to hurt me because he knows seeing pictures of him & us hurts me deep.

    So my question Is, is it to late to start the no contact & make him miss me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 10, 2020 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Sunflower, so no it is not too late to start but you must stick to a solid No Contact, but it needs to be 45 days and take that time to focus on yourself and work on your emotional control

  2. Avatar

    Sarah

    January 28, 2020 at 3:25 am

    My boyfriend of a year broke up with me today. He said he loves me and cares for me but that even people in love cant be together if they arent compatible. He felt we were going different directions in life and said he didnt want to hold me back while he figured his life out. He said he need to be alone so he could grow up and learn what he really wanted and needed. I’m heart broken, we had discussed a future together in length and now he doesn’t know what he wants in life. He recently has been spending time with his brother whom he is very close with trying to help him through his own break up. He told me the day he broke up with me that he loved me many times. He just didnt know how to compromise and put me first before himself and his family like he said I deserve. Hes not been able to hold a steady job or find a career hes passionate about which is extremely important to him. He says hes not going to do a job he hates for the rest of his life. I’m trying to be strong. He reached out to me this evening asking if I was ok and I said I was but I’m in so much pain. We have lived together for 8 months now and hes staying at his brothers. He said he will pay our rent for the next few months so I can figure out what I want to do. He even offered to put the apartment in my name so I could stay if I wanted. I moved states to be here with him and I dont feel like I can stay here without him. My family and friends are all in my home state and I feel like I need to be with my support system but the part of me that’s in denial about the whole thing fears if I move back home im putting the last nail in the coffin. I’m distraught and I dont know what to do and I know he is hurting to because we do both love eachother still. He just says he cant be what i need right now because his life isn’t what he wants it to be right now. Please any advice or suggestions or just encouragement would help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 6, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Hey Sarah, so if he has ended things because he feels like life is taking you down different paths. Then you need to consider if this is true or not. If you want the same things in life then you are able to see a future with him that means you both get to do what you want then you need to start with a no contact working on yourself to show that you are interested in the same life as he is (ONLY IF THAT IS TRUE). Following the information in No Contact and working towards becoming Ungettable is going to be in your favour if you get back together or move on

  3. Avatar

    Ella

    January 24, 2020 at 9:25 am

    Me and my ex broke up a month ago but I persistently spoke to him begging him back for at least two weeks straight. He had enough of me and just blocked me everywhere, what i’m confused about is that when we met( couple days after breakup) he started crying about the situation when it was his choice. Everytime i reach out he ignores me and blocks me. I’m currently in NC again- is there even hope ???

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 24, 2020 at 11:12 am

      Hi Ella, even if it was his decision it does not mean he isn’t upset about the situation. Yes there is a chance but you MUST MUST MUST do a 45 day no contact and work on yourself during that time

  4. Avatar

    Chelsea

    January 7, 2020 at 4:50 pm

    My ex and i dated for nearly 6 months

    We had an instant chemistry and our relationship went from seeing eachother twice a week to every second day! I house sit so we stayed in many houses together (shopping, making breakfast, sleeping in, walking dogs together ect). We had a physically close conection (our love languages matched: physical touch)

    He was super romantic in the first 2 months especially and after some time introduced me to his best friends and i soon became a part of his social circle (i got along with his male and female friends really well and they seemed to like me. They said i was the best match he had found in a while). We even chatted about traveling together and future dates months ahead of time. I really fell in love with him by around month 4 and he told me he loved me first.

    I should also mension he has a relationship pattern of “always dating a new girl” and he seems to always be in a relationship or dating. (I think he may have anxious attachment according to psychology)

    Things started to take a turn because i got insecure about his female friendships. He had met a girl in another city while we were dating who was interested in similar podcasts to him and they would skype once a week to chat about their similar interests. The only thing is she looked like a model and it really made me feel insecure that there was more going on… id also see him text her very now and then. He assured me she had a boyfriend bur once he answered her skype call with me in the roomand said her ex broke up with her in the call.

    Id never think he was cheating. It was more just a fear of him being more attracted to someone else.

    To make it harder he also has a female best friend. They spend a lot of 1 on 1 time together and it made me again feel insecure. He assured me that they were just friends and she did have a boyfriend. But when i heard of their new plan to study each morning together it triggered my insecurity and i said one morning “im not sure how long i can take this” in a moment of panic.

    He messaged me later that day saying he needed space as he had been “bombarded by my ongoing jelousy”. He set a date 10 days from that day and said “ill talk to you then” and ignored me completely.

    I broke down in these 10 days and over analysed my actions. I decided that i was being insecure and that his friend was just a friend as she had a Boyfriend and i must have been reacting from a place of insecurity.

    I made the mistake of messaging him on day 8 of the break saying i missed him and we orgaised a time to meet to discuss the relationship.

    A mutual friend of ours called me to warn me she had heard he was thinking of breaking up with me.

    We met and i said i was sorry for being insecure and that him shutting me out was hurtful. He said he felt manipulated into seeing his friend less and that “he shouldbe able to do what he likes” but hesaid sorry for hurting me by forcing the break. We got back together for 10 amazing days but had a few small insignificant fights. Then i saw an intimate christmas letter from a new female friend i hadnt met thanking him for taking her out and spending time with her (mostly during our break). I sadly reacted out of emotion again and left his house and drove home. I messaged him saying he had crossed some of my personal boundaries by taking a attractive new girl out like that and he texted he “no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me”

    Im so upset because i feel i let my emotional reactions and insecurity dammaged the attraction in our relationship. He said he no longer loved me but loved me as a person.

    I messaged 2 days later asking to try again and he ignored me for a week before responding saying sorry for ignoring me and that he felt down because he knew i probably had been struggling but he thinks its better to be apart. He said he hoped down the line we could reconect as friends.

    I responded in a short distant way saying its okay you have to follow your instincts/ heart. But i showed no emotion and made no comment on being friends in the future.

    He tried to chat a little more about seeinga doctor (i assume to re conect again?) But i pretty much let the convo die off

    I now plan to do no contact

    I would love your advice on what you think of my situation

    Thanks

    Chelsea
    USA

    Ps he always mensioned his exes even though i said it bothered me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 11, 2020 at 5:34 am

      Hey Chelsea, so first thing, you definitely need to do a No Contact, and the length really depends on how long it takes for you to do the work to over come your insecurities and worries. As these are going to ruin any future relationships you may have.

      Think of it this way, he had those female friends before you got together, his best friend has been around for a long time too. If something was going to happen between them, he would have had it happen before getting a girlfriend. So you need to remind yourself he chose to be with you because he liked you. Working on yourself to know you are worthy and not going to leave you for someone else because who ever gets to be with you is going to know how great you are! Read about what it takes to become Ungettable and you will see what work it is you need to do

  5. Avatar

    Sarah

    November 14, 2019 at 3:08 pm

    My ex after 2 years has said he wants to be friends. Friends is all he can do right now with me and wants to go on dates with other people. He says you don’t know what’s around the corner and things might change for us. He keeps sending me confusing texts and im trying to do N C, am I going about it the right way and do I have any chance of getting my ex back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 14, 2019 at 10:31 pm

      Hey Sarah, so as long as you are ignoring his texts and not replying. Also during this no contact you need to be working on yourself so that you are Ungettable when you do speak to him again. But No Contact means do not reply to him he needs to realise he cnt have you as a friend if you want to be more than friends.

  6. Avatar

    Shantée

    November 14, 2019 at 12:15 am

    He broke up with me and for a while before the break up he was distant and we had a huge argument and one or two the week after the breakup.this is both our first relationship and We both messed up in the relationship he was a stonewaller and I was a needy person. So before I went into no contact we agreed to FaceTime on thanksgiving.He also assured me that he wouldn’t be using that time for females but for himself. What’s the best way To ask him if he kept his promise, bc I don’t want to be with him anymore if he did bc it will be too hurtful for me I know myself. It has been 21 days no contact so far. For background we were in a long distance relationship for almost 2 1/2 years. So how would I build up in this situation being that we are supposed to FaceTime, and seeing him in person will take some time? Should I text him before thanksgiving? Also we were following each other on ig and he was watching my stories for the first week and a half then all of a sudden he unfollowed me. I never showed I was sad, I was showing I was having a great time without him actually. In the past, he had done this (unfollowed me on ig) bc he said he was angry. Maybe he unfollowed me to get a rise out of me (given I use to so him why he would do such a thing when we were together)or bc he couldn’t understand how I’m doing so great without him? I didn’t unfollow him back bc I’m trying to make it look like I didn’t notice, even though it hurts. Instead I just deleted my Instagram app so I didn’t have the urge to see what he’s doing. Currently I am in my 3rd week and I feel like I’m going backwards because I miss him more now then I did last week and the thoughts are overwhelming. I have depression and anxiety already so this situation has made it even harder to deal with that. Please advise on how to handle this situation the best way u can. I know by thanksgiving I will still love and want him but I want to feel like I don’t need him

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 15, 2019 at 12:25 am

      Hi Shantee, so you do not reach out for thanksgiving, just dont. It will go noticed by him and then he will be obsessively wondering why you havent spoken to him. You need to do a full No Contact for a minimum of 30 days. Work on becoming Ungettable during this time

  7. Avatar

    Maribel

    October 26, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    Is there someone still available for answers?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 27, 2019 at 2:45 pm

      Hi Maribel, yes post your comment and I will answer you within a couple of days usually

  8. Avatar

    Sylvia Dominik

    June 12, 2019 at 4:30 am

    I’ve been with my bf for 5 years on and off . He’s just very controlling and wants me to live with his parents . I let him go over 6 times every six months he cAme back promising we’ll move on our own. Every time we broke up hed talk to girls then coming back full force promising and how he can’t live with out me . I love him so much that ofc I believed and every six months same thing would happen . It’s been almost a year since I don’t let him back in . His mom got sick so I gave in went out with him a few times but it hurt me too much at the same time knowing this will go on and now I’m 33 with no kids and no family :/ I didn’t contact him in two weeks straight I took yesterday I unblocked him and just went angry on him about my feelings he was calm taking it all in . He’s texting me today asking if we I want to talk that he still has hope in us . I’m going insane at this point not sure what to do . I was seeing another boy for two months but now I’m turned off by everting. Missing my ex like I need air again . I was doing so fine . Should I block him with the bc rule or let him text me and leave voicemails ? Please help

  9. Avatar

    Kayla

    June 9, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    I was with my ex for 4 years. We have a child together, he has two other children and I have another child. We live together and I cannot move out for another couple months. He says he’s unhappy but loves me and just wants us to be over. I don’t know what happened or when because things were great not too long before he broke it off. How do I get him to realize what he is truly missing and to want me back? Obviously we have to communicate because of our child and living together. Please help!

  10. Avatar

    Payton

    May 11, 2019 at 11:39 am

    I have a very complicated situation with my ex and seriously need help!

  11. Avatar

    Xolie

    May 8, 2019 at 5:17 am

    Hi Chris
    So my boyfriend of two years broke up with me right after sleeping with me. Yes during the pillow talk. He said he didn’t know how to love me anymore and he has changed and I wouldn’t like the person he’s become. He said we would still hang out and talk and all that but I haven’t heard from him since

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2019 at 12:17 am

      Hi Xolie…sounds like you should consider implementing No Contact and do the other things I discuss in my EBR Program!

  12. Avatar

    Ann

    April 10, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    Hello. I was dating someone for a few months and recently he broke things off with me because things were getting serious. He told me he was starting to really like me, but knows he’s not going to want a relationship for a while. He just got out of a long relationship about a year prior. However he still says he wants us to be friends, tells me to call him every now and then, and we can hang out, but no more holding hands, pda, or any of that. At this point we’ve exchanged probably 1 or 2 really quick, short conversations. I’ve kept a little distance in an effort to protect myself. But other than that, we haven’t really spoken since then. He still likes my posts, watches my IG stories, and is receptive and friendly if we ever do have to talk. But I guess right now I’m not really sure what to feel anymore. It just doesn’t make sense to me why things were going so well and he just decided to cut it off. I just wish we could’ve tried to see where this goes. Now I don’t really know how to approach the situation, but I do hope we work it out..

  13. Avatar

    Julieanne Adams

    April 6, 2019 at 3:00 am

    My ex broke up with me a month ago. We were together for 3.5 years. Our relationship has been on and off for the last 1.5 years. He thinks I cheated on him, however I never did. Trust has been a big issue in our relationship. He found out Iied about sleeping with someone in my past (I slept with this person two years before I met my boyfriend) and that I went on a trip to Toronto when him and I were broken up. I apologized for lying, however he has told me that I haven’t done anything to prove to him that I can be trusted. I did the absolute no no and cried, begged, and pleaded for him to get back with me. He’s made it very clear that I have no chance of ever being with him. I want him back but feel so helpless. He’s blocked my number and ignores me when I go to his house. Should I move on or do we still have a chance? How can I get him to trust me?

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    vicky

    November 4, 2018 at 10:23 am

    hi Chris. so my boyfriend recently broke up with me,obvi lol.. he told me it wasn’t my fault or anything I did yada,yada..then he said breaking up with me is not what he really wants to do but that choices in his life up until now has required that he does..a personal choice that he hoped he could tell me about it someday. I begged him consistently to reconsider but he refused. Then I told him one day that I’d had enough. I told him I didn’t want to be in a limbo with him anymore and that I was seeing someone already(massive lie) I said that to make him feel some type of way but now I’m scared he won’t want me anymore because he thinks I’m already in a new relationship. plus I deleted his number to maintain the no contact rule policy. This is day 19 by the way and I’m confused…!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 3:36 pm

      Hi Vicky!

      I here you…yada yada. Some guys will fudge the truth and sometimes they also say and do stupid things. Good move with starting up NC. Pick up my 485 page ebook (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro) if you can as it will help you immensely in how to manage thru this process.

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    Kris

    April 16, 2018 at 1:43 am

    Hey guys. It’s comforting to see how many other women are essentially going through the same thing as me since I feel like I’m going crazy with this breakup. My ex told me he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he thought he was but I guess being together has showed him otherwise. He said he needs to focus on himself and said he sees how well I’m doing and he wants to do the same for himself. Im definitely ready for more and i put in more effort than he was willing to give me. I see he’s been reaching out to other women, idk if he really just wants to play the field or he’s doing it to distract himself from the pain. I haven’t contacted him since the breakup 8 days ago and he hasn’t reached out either. Currently in NC just need someone to vent and talk to I guess 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 3:34 am

      Hi there Kris! Yeah, some guys say they are not ready for the serious stuff, until they discover that they can lose you, and then they mature up! I am glad you are in No Contact Kris. I think it will help. Take a look at Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro or any of the other resources I have on this site (Menu/Products link) as it is good to have a comprehensive guide that you can rely on to help draw up your plan. Let us know how things proceed!

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      Kris

      April 18, 2018 at 9:25 pm

      Thanks Chris! I actually own the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, I bought it a few years ago after a previous relationship (and decided it wasn’t worth getting him back and I moved on instead). Not sure if it’s been updated since then. Whenever I have the urge to text him I’ll go on this site and read why doing so would be silly. Day 10 of no contact. We still follow each other on social media and I see he still views my stories but hasn’t like anything I post. I

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      Hi Kris…thanks for your comment and purchase. Yeah, I updated it substantially, so its a lot different now in many ways, but the core principles are the same. It might be beneficial for you to take a look a look at my Private Facebook Group (also found in my website Menu/Products section). It has about 1400 folks in it. Mostly women. They are great and help and support each other and themselves and I do weekly live webcasts there. Yep…he is watching you from afar (social media), so there is a little spark there.

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    Lana

    March 22, 2018 at 3:32 pm

    Hello. My “ex” (it’s so recent I still cannot feel confortable calling him that) broke up with me two days ago. He told me he lost the passion and although that is true, I think it is because he has lost passion in everything. I honestly think he might have a mild depression and the weather is not helping. We live together but he took some clothes and is staying somewhere else. However, he has texted me last night saying that he needed to talk to me. I did not answer. After that, I decided I would go for the NC rule but because most his things are still here and we share the dog, it is very difficult. Should we talk at all? Is it ok to talk about the house and the dog? He has texted me that he dreamnt I had sex with our housemate (whom he is not threaten by) and I told him he could not tell me things like this if he needed space. That he should also respect my space. I really want him back. What can I do?

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2018 at 5:25 pm

      Hi Lana,

      It’s ok to talk about scheduling for the dog and house stuff but only keep it about that..

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    Stella

    March 2, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    Ok. I will move on but I leave him alone until one day he will get his punishment or regret. I m 42 from Singapore and he is 45 from UK but he already moved to Singapore last January. Because he work here. Nevermind.

    I must work hard and move on… thank you for your help.. 🙂

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    Stella

    March 1, 2018 at 4:01 am

    I already met him at Skype but I never meet him in real person. I have NC him for 2 1/2 months because I don’t have his new mobile no. but I have one problem. I don’t want to tell here in public. Can I msg you in private?? If not, I can’t solve problem in my life. I afraid that he already deleted my mobile no. or not because he already blocked me. What do I do??

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2018 at 2:26 pm

      He ghosted you.. It’s tims to move.. Get a counselor so someone professional can help you move on personally..

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    Stella

    March 1, 2018 at 12:12 am

    I did not meet him in real person.

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    Julie

    February 24, 2018 at 8:53 pm

    My ex broke up with me because he said he didnt feel the same way as he did at the start, but after doing what you suggested i think it was more i was a bit clingy, i always asked for more effort but i realized after being in his position that it isnt what i want, i have had the nc rule for two weeks now and after the third im planning on talking to him about this and telling him i realized i was controlling and i asked for things that i now realize i dont even want, do you think this is a good idea because we would be on the same page now, he was my bestfriend before we dated and i feel that if i go slowly back into the friend zone it would be very hard to get out of, i was thinking doing this approach instead and if he doesnt want to get back together kind of ice him out until im over him and all feelings are gone.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 11:37 am

      Hi Julie,

      telling him what you think was wrong with you and what you can improve long after the break up is still chasing.. if you really changed, you wouldn’t try to convince him.

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