How to Make Your Ex Miss You Without Talking To Him

Have you ever heard the Frank Sinatra quote,

“The best revenge is massive success”?

It’s true. There is nothing that you can do that will get under your ex’s skin and make him miss you more than taking your life by the horns and making the most out of it that you possibly can.

When uses properly, the EBR process can effect your ex boyfriend in such a way that he will obsess over you, miss you, and even want you back.

I know that it’s hard to imagine getting over the obstacle that is your breakup and all the pain that resulted from it, but you have a choice here. You can let this breakup define you and your life, consuming your each and every day, OR you can choose to let the experience and pain of the breakup make you stronger, and make you a better person going forward in your life.

I don’t know about you, but I know which of the two options I’d pick.

“From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer…will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power…will have the power…can stand up, will stand up. …every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong? – Buffy, “Chosen”

Ooooh, we’re getting the Buffy quote in early!

This quote is from the final episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it is a powerful moment, because the entire gang has been beaten down and they feel like the final battle ahead literally is doomed to fail. They all expect to die. But then Buffy makes this speech, reminding them that giving up is absolutely not an option and that the time has come to make a choice to either give up, or stand up.

So it’s time for you to make your choice: are YOU ready to be strong?

What Makes A Man Miss An Ex Like Crazy

Now that I have, hopefully, inspired you, I am going to assume that you’ve realized that using your breakup to create positive change in your life is the way to go. So, let’s get back to your ex. You’ve made the commitment to change and be better for yourself, above all else. So now, let’s get back to your ex.

What is it that makes a man miss an ex girlfriend like crazy? What makes him get fixated and obsses

Really, it’s about what makes a man like or miss any woman like crazy – dating or not.

If you’ve spent any chunk of time on this site, you’ll know that becoming an Ungettable Girl is a huge cornerstone of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery process.

Let’s recap: What is an Ungettable Girl? An Ungettable Girl is the girl in the bar that all the women want to be, and all the men want to take home.

She is:

  • Beautiful
  • Poised
  • Funny
  • Charming
  • The Full Package

An Ungettable Girl doesn’t particularly care what people think about her, though. She just lives her life the best way she knows how – 100% for herself.

A guy wants an Ungettable Girl, partially because she is so ungettable. We all want what is seemingly unattainable. A guy doesn’t want a girl who will put her life aside for him. He wants a girl who has her own passions, friends, hobbies. No man wants to be the center of a woman’s world. That’s a lot of pressure, and everyone wants a partner who is accomplished and challenges them.

So what makes a man want or miss a woman if she is Ungettable?

So How Does A Girl Become Ungettable?

Honestly, it begins with putting yourself first.

That is the point of the No Contact period. You focus on becoming a better version of yourself.

It may feel unnatural to do this. As women, we have a tendency to put the other people in our lives first, instead of making ourselves a priority. To counter this, I recommend making a list for yourself – it will give you a clear set of goals to always be aiming for.

The Holy Trinity is another cornerstone of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery program. And women who focus on the Holy Trinity are Ungettable. So I recommend making a list and checking in on it once a week to see how you are moving towards your goals.

Your list should look something like this:


  1. Work out 4 times per week
  2. Meal Prep for the week every Sunday
  3. Eat more healthy fruits and vegetables
  4. Go to therapy once a week
  5. Find a new skincare regiment


  1. Ask for a raise at work
  2. If one is not given, start working on resume and applying to new jobs
  3. Start trying to play a couple gigs a month
  4. Reach out to potential connections in my field
  5. Think ahead to what I want my career to look like 10 years from now


  1. Spend more time with friends and family
  2. Spend more time indulging in self care activities (playing guitar, reading, playing with dog)
  3. Work on loving self first and foremost
  4. Do not obsess/check in/online stalk ex boyfriend
  5. Reach out to potential new friends and set up coffee dates to get to know them

Do you see the trend here?

These are all things that are meant to improve YOUR quality of life, and none of it has to do with your ex, except maybe the goal of NOT paying attention to your ex.

So how do you make your ex miss you? You don’t give a shit about your ex. It’s difficult to achieve, but the best way to approach it is to organize yourself and set goals that will make you more likely to be disciplined.

And of course, you should also be documenting all of these activities on social media for your ex and his circle of influence to see. Be careful, though, and don’t go overboard. An Ungettable Girl is also mysterious. Keep him wondering, sometimes.

But What if You Can’t Talk to Him Directly?

There are some potential circumstances that you could be in, or that could arise, that could keep you from talking to your ex directly and showing him those major Ungettable Girl changes you’ve been making. They include:

  1. Maybe you are still in your No Contact period
  2. Maybe you are blocked (your number and/or on social media)
  3. Maybe he has another woman and refuses to talk to you
  4. Maybe you were long distance
  5. Maybe he never really had a social media presence.

If you’re in your No Contact period, don’t fear. You have plenty of time to reach out after it is over and make him see the changes you are making. Your job right now is to focus on yourself.

The good news is, there are other ways to get word to him. This really boils down to the two that I touched on earlier – Refining your social media presence, and working your ex’s sphere or influence.

Social Media

This can be used if you are in No Contact, and if you are not blocked on social media. Maybe he blocked your number, but the two of you are still friends on Facebook. It is also important to note, though, that even if he has unfriended you, he will still continue to check your social media profiles, which is why it is essential that your profiles are public. Anyway, if you still have a social media connection, this is the route to use.

As I mentioned before, don’t overdo it. You should take a look at what your social media presence was before the breakup, and try to mirror that. You don’t want the difference in posting frequencies to be obvious, and you want to remain somewhat a mystery. But if you went on a vacation – post that! If you are at a party with a friend and are looking particularly fine – go for it! And of course, there is the infamous date picture to invoke jealousy (picture of food, with a guy’s hands/arms clearly in the background, only comment on the food, not the company).

You also can contact marketing companies who will assist in making sure that you are getting lots of likes on social media, which can make you look very popular and in demand, and make your ex realize that you are well liked, and your life is going on without him.

Sphere of Influence

If you are blocked on social media, though, you have to tread carefully. You don’t want to get into a position of your ex trying to take legal action against you, so please don’t do anything crazy like contacting them all the time, showing up at their home/place of work, or talking about them to friends you have in common.

What you CAN do, however, is to make the changes you are making (that will make him miss you) clear to the people he holds close. This is easy to do if you have friends in common, or if his family remains in contact with you (though to successfully complete No Contact, that means no contact with his family as well for that designated period of time).

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

You have to be careful about this. You can’t ask questions about your ex – you shouldn’t even bring him up. If his family or friends bring him up, act nonchalant – “I’m glad to hear he’s doing well” and change the subject. If they ask how you’re dealing with the breakup, say something along the lines of “I’m doing well! It’s been nice to just focus fully on myself” and then change the subject.
What needs to come across to the Sphere of Influence is two things: 1. You are doing just fine without your ex and are not moping around, desperate for him to come back; and 2. Not only are you doing just fine, but you are actually making positive changes in your life that are making you happier and more desirable.

If your ex is close to these people, it will almost certainly get back to him, so it is essential that you remain in control in these interactions. Do not lose your cool, and be sure that you are bringing your best self to the table. Don’t bring him up, and let the changes you are making speak for themself.

If you successfully completed No Contact, are taking the correct steps to make change, and are making those changes known through your ex through indirect ways, I’d say you’re on track to him missing you, if he hasn’t started to already.

Putting the Pieces Together

As counter intuitive as it may seem, focusing on yourself to become an Ungettable Girl needs to be your first priority if you want to make your ex miss you. And you may actually find that over the course of crossing off items on your holy trinity list to become that Ungettable Girl, that you stop focusing on your ex and begin to enjoy the process of focusing on yourself. After all, you spent your entire relationship taking another person’s needs into account. Freedom from your ex may taste better than you thought it would, once you allow yourself to focus on you.

And if you can’t speak to your ex directly, there are methods you can use to make sure that your ex is seeing the differences you are making in your life. And as discussed, an Ungettable Girl is what men want and miss in a woman. You can use social media and/or the sphere of influence to indirectly get your ex to miss you. If your ex hears you are doing well, that will automatically make them wonder why you don’t seem to be missing them more, and once they hear about all the new and exciting things you are doing and accomplishing, the missing you may begin to settle in. And if you can get his family and friends to sing your praises, I’d say you are well on your way to getting him back.

Don’t be afraid to take the time to focus on you and make some changes. It’s either that, or let the pain of the breakup define you, and as we’ve already established, that’s not the healthy choice. So be strong, stand up, and take control of the one area of your life you have power over – yourself.

Alright, now that you are filled in on what it takes to make an ex miss you. I am gonna load you up with some other handy tools you might need.

First of all… I’m going to give you the link to the full EBR Pro 4 System, of course.

But there are PLENTY of other things that EBR has to offer.

Like this video that is also on how to get your ex to miss you…

7 Reasons It’s Okay to Miss Your Ex

Why Do Men Always Come Back After You Ignore Them?

I Miss My Ex Like Crazy; How Do I Get Him Back?

Okay, before you dive headfirst into all that EBR has to offer… and it’s a lot…

Let’s talk about you situation specifically.

I want to know:

  1. The details surrounding your breakup
  2. What you’ve done since the breakup
  3. What you think your next step should be after reading this article

Our experts will help you determine what the best next step should be.

Well.. C’mon! No time to lose!


Written by EBR Teamate