5,793 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

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    February 20, 2019 at 8:20 am

    I planned out how I wanted Day 5 to go. What do you think? It might be weird to plan out exactly how the conversation is going to go but I guess I know how he’s reacting right now so I’m trying give myself the opportunity to say what I need to without being too needy. Right now he is being polite by answering what he needs to but he doesn’t care how I’m doing. It’s similar to my very first contact message because there is a little mystery and he has to reply to it.

    Me: Hey, so you know how I don’t like to dance in front of like… anyone? Well, now I have a good reason and I’m scarred for lifeee!
    Tim: What happened?
    Me: I was being goofy and dancing to music and I had the feeling like someone was watching me so I turned around and they were just staring at me and they couldn’t stop laughing for like 10 min :). So the lesson is that you can only really be yourself when you are alone ;).
    Tim: No response or that’s funny.
    Me: I don’t believe that it’s possible to truly be yourself around others except God. You put on a different mask for different people. I’ve noticed that I can have a carefree attitude with my friends but then I’m really shy and scared around anyone that is in authority. What do you think?
    Tim: I disagree, You should be able to express yourself around everyone.
    Me: Right now I guess what I’m trying to realize is that it’s important to have things that you enjoy in life. It’s important to have friends,ambitions and it’s ok to want silly things like skincare or books but that if we are living only for ourselves or to please someone that we will never feel complete because I’m nothing without God. He should be the center of everything I do. I really like this verse Psalm 16:2- I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.

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    February 20, 2019 at 4:20 am

    Hey Chris!

    So I waited two days and he never initiated a conversation. I texted him at like 8:00 p.m. tonight. Here was our conversation.

    Me: I sent him a funny picture about politics and I said “I thought you would enjoy this it made me smile :)”
    Him: Thanks

    Me: How was your day?

    Him: It was good. I had an opti exam other than that just busy with homework.

    Me: Sent a funny meme about hw.

    He didn’t even bother to ask me how I was doing. I feel like he’s being selfish right now. Last time I texted at least he bothered to ask me how I was. What do you think I should do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:27 am

      Lots of guys are just no so good at communicating in a selfless, sensitive way. It kinda a guy thing for way too many guys. Just keep things on a positive vibe.

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    February 17, 2019 at 6:01 am

    Ok. Thanks I’ll try that. I sent a picture of a dog with a comment today and he never responded. It didn’t require a response but he could have replied. A couple of hours later, I asked him how he was doing he responded in a minute with “I’m ok. Hbu?” I said I’ve been pretty busy but I’m good 🙂 and that was the end of the conversation. So I’ll do what you said and see what happens :).

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 11:06 pm

      Good luck Barbara!

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    February 16, 2019 at 5:43 am

    So I sent my first contact message about the dog’s heart that stopped beating. he responded by saying “What happened?” and “That’s good”. When should I ask him how he’s doing?

    For tomorrow I was thinking of sending one of the other first contact message ideas I wrote about. What would you suggest? I was going to save more interesting stories for later on. Or send a funny meme about vegans, homework, comic books, exercise.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 1:20 am

      Hi Barabara!

      Sounds like you are on the right track! Maybe wait 36 to 48 hours or longer before sending another text to see if he will initiate.

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    February 8, 2019 at 4:18 am

    I know that my attempt at trying to win him back might not work. I am trying to accept that it might not work and that life will move on with or without him. Do you think it is necessary to move on before starting a new relationship with someone? I know how to be content with myself because I’m a introvert but lately it’s been hard to focus on other things besides him. I don’t like that he is consuming my thoughts in negative ways. I’m ok if I think of the good memories. I am trying so hard to make things work out but If they don’t than they don’t. I have to develop more ideas on good text ideas. He’s very stubborn so it basically has to be HIS idea to make things work out. I love him, if I didn’t I would give up.

    I know it would be very hard for him and my family to feel comfortable if things worked out.

    I’m nervous about contacting him. I’m worried that he’ll either ignore my text or reply with something rude even though he has treated me very well over the years.

    He hasn’t contacted me at all during the no contact period because he said he needs time to heal so maybe he doesn’t miss me at all? I’m worried that he is either angry, resentful, sad or has moved on already.

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    February 6, 2019 at 7:45 pm

    Ok. Thanks! I’ll use that one soon!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 7, 2019 at 2:19 am

      Your welcome Barbara!

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    February 5, 2019 at 6:30 am

    I looked at some of your posts and here is a couple of possibilities for a first contact message after no contact. I’m a vet tech so some of them might be odd :). Could you let me know what you think? Thanks!

    Message 1

    Me: You won’t believe what just happened to me?

    Him: What?

    Me: I was recovering a puppy from anesthesia and it’s heart suddenly stopped. Fortunately we were able to revive it and it’s ok now :).

    Message 2
    He’s a good dancer and would want me to dance with him. I’ve always been self conscious of being goofy and dancing in front of others.

    Me: I am…..like scarred for life.

    Him: Why?

    Me: I thought everyone was in bed so I was dancing to some music and suddenly I turn my head and someone is starring at me and they couldn’t stop laughing for like….. 10 min ;).

    Message 3
    He loves meat and I used to be a vegetarian.

    Me: Send a pic of me holding a chicken. This is before I ate the chicken! Wa ha ha 😉

    Message 4

    He likes retrievers

    Me: Send a pic of a retriever with a man bun.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 6, 2019 at 1:33 am

      Message 1 wins the race!

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    January 31, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    I begged and basically said that I can date other people and I know that he can too but that I can’t give up hope. Is something like this better? I thought about sending a text about something he’s interested in but the thing is we are very different and If I did that it would be weird and unexpected. He likes motorcycles, politics, optics, guns, superhero and sci fi movies

    Hey. Do you remember the name of that Mexican restaurant that we had dinner at in Oro valley? I want to go there with a friend. I thought it was so funny that out of all the options you choose a burger :).

    Hey do you remember that name of the pet store that you took me to with reptiles and birds? I want to go there with a friend. Hope all is going well.

    And then for a second text later on
    “ I’m watching Superman right now and It made me think of how much you like Dean Cain. I hope all is going well.”

    Hey. Do you remember that one time we saw the King and I together? I was so excited that you got the tickets. I hope all is going well.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 1, 2019 at 12:31 am

      Hi Barabara. You might want to revisit some of the texting strategies I discuss in my Program and eBooks. Its a bit of art to it in that you want to generate curiosity…a lot of curiosity if possible, but keep it briefer. Feel free to visit my home page and the resources I offer.

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    January 31, 2019 at 12:56 am

    I was thinking about contacting him with this message when I’m done with no contact and to say this but I’m worried that he’ll be hurt and think that I don’t care for him anymore and that I’ve moved on. I’m hoping that it will help bring his guard down so he doesn’t think I’m pressuring him to get back together soon.

    “Hey, I just want to let you know that I’m cool with the breakup. A lot of exciting things have been happening in my life lately, will love to tell you about it sometime. Also, I wanted to thank you for everything. Thanks a lot!”

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 31, 2019 at 1:25 am

      Hi Barbara….its not a bad text, but my recommended method is for a briefer kind of text and different approach. I talk about in much greater detail on my website and of course my eBooks!

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    January 28, 2019 at 11:06 pm

    Someone broke up with me because of the situation not because of me. The issues were children, future, family and church. They said they need time to heal and that they love me and didn’t want to do this. I’ve been told “I don’t know if things will ever work out (marriage) and that it would have to be a long time from now.

    1. He really wants his won kids and a lot of them. I told him I didn’t want to make a decision until I talked to a geneticist. He was hurt that I didn’t make a appointment. My family has some health problems. He told me he didn’t want me to become a baby factory for him

    2. He said I didn’t want to have a future with him. That’s not true the only reason I didn’t say that I did is because my family isn’t fond of him especially my mother. He tried to get along with my mom but eventually gave up. He’s moving to California not this summer but next summer and he wanted me to go with him. He said he was thinking about getting engaged but that these problems bothered him. He didn’t want me to choose my family over him.

    3. I’m a non denominational Christian and he’s Catholic. He said he didn’t care about what denomination I was and he would never make me convert. I told him that I thought it was important that our children be raised in a one denomination household.


    1. I’m seeing a doctor soon and then it will take 6 months to see a geneticist.
    2. I told him that I do want to have a future with him.
    3. We go to a Lutheran church or we go to separate church’s and the children will probably be raised catholic.

    He’s told me over the years that he has been so happy with me and how much he loves me. Someone told me to beg for him afterwards so I sent a email and he responded. Then in 2 weeks someone told me to call him and tell him some stuff so I did. He told me that “I don’t know if we can ever be married, it would have to be a long time from now and that he didn’t want me to wait too long for him and that he needs time to heal” I told him that I can date other people but that I can’t give up on him so I sounded pretty desperate. He sounded miserable on the phone and was crying and choking up. He said he doesn’t know how to be happy with himself and that he doesn’t have that many friends so he basically lost his best friend.

    I do NOT need him in my life but I WANT him in my life. I’m a very easygoing person and he is stuck in his ways and stubborn. I will not beg for him anymore. I am not his doormat. I will not let my life revolve around him. I’m introverted so I enjoy spending time by myself. He will have trouble finding someone as easy going as me.

    I’ve been trying to grow by reading my bible, exercising, spending time with friends, going to school and doing my internship. I’ve been watching your videos and have been developing a plan on how to try to get him back. I’m doing no contact right now. I don’t think I can be friends with him because I’ll always want more than friendship. He is not above me I will be treated as his equal or he will never see me again. We have been together for almost 4 years and are emotionally attached. We’ve talked about marriage for a long time.

    Relationships aren’t all about one person and what they want. They need to be compromise. Love is not self seeking.

    Do you have any advice? Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 28, 2019 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Barbara….so you should be proud of some of the personal recovery activities you have gotten involved in. Yes, I do think the NC principle is the right medicine so long as you implement it in the way I teach it in my Program. And a big yes to couples learning the importance of compromise and seeking to fulfill each other’s needs.

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    January 22, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I have a situation! i broke up with my ex bf because we had been arguing at least once a month for a whole year and i had had enough! it was getting worse everytime, getting more toxic and unhealthy and going out of our way to be horrible to each other! so i firstly distanced myself without saying anything then when he text saying i cant believe you are doing this at the hardest time of year (christmas) i said i had enough of arguing and i was DONE, i asked him to delete my number and leave me alone, and so he replied saying i will delete your number as requested and that was on the 13th December, we have had NO CONTACT since but exactly a month later (14th Jan) he put my things i had left at his house on my door step, we are both very stubborn and im not sure if he is leaving signs of wanting me to reach out? I have deactivated my facebook account, but he still has my mum as a friend which he has liked her status (its a first as he never had before) can you advice on what to do next or keep my radio silence abit longer?

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    December 9, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    Hi Chris, so I disrespect my boyfriend of which I know is bad and he started ignoring me so I will nag when ever he doesn’t reply me and it’s been 3 months since he hasn’t texted me. So today I went and apologized again and he posted on his status “ Don’t waste your words on people who deserve your silence, sometimes the best thing to say is nothing “ and I replied to his status with” okay understood, wish you the best sir” and he hasn’t replied. I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I text him or what

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 1:04 am

      Sounds like it may be best to employ No Contact. Swing by my home page to learn more about some of the resources and tools available.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2018 at 12:57 am

      Sounds like NC is in order

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    December 6, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    Hi Chris, could you please give an advice on how to deal with a love-avoidant? What is the best solution in this case, keeping no contact as long as possible or initiating encounters and being his friend? I have been in no contact for almost 2 months with my ex (he requested it after a wonderful one-year relationship, and I’m ashamed to admit I panicked and acted too clingy), then I contacted him on his birthday a few days ago… he accepted meeting up, it all went well but I feel he is distant, keeping away from me both physically and emotionally. He agreed for us to remain friends, but it scares me.. I know he won’t reach out first and it also hurts to see him treating me like a mere friend. I don’t know what to do from now on, pls help with an advice. Thanks a lot!

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    December 4, 2018 at 10:10 pm

    I’m so torn about no contact because when I don’t reply he says Im worrying him and texts my phone saying that he can’t take not talking to me and implies that I’m breaking up with him. Should I still continue no contact even if he G.N.A.T me?

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    December 4, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    My ex boyfriend says we’re on a break. He fluctuates the time frame between 2-5 months often, he is only 23 years old and says he wants to have personal growth before we essentially get serious and that when he comes back he will know for sure that he wants to marry me. During the break he still wants to talk and possibly see each other often. He freaks out when I don’t respond to his messages. He says he misses me but that he needs this time. Another big part is that he’s had trauma in his life as well as he deals with anxiety and depression. He says he doesn’t know the exact time it will take him to face his demons and he asks me to bare with him. I told him 2 months is my maximum wait time, he doesn’t say much when I mention that. Am I pressuring him? Am I being fair?
    I’m so torn about no contact because when I don’t reply he says Im worrying him and texts my phone saying that he can’t take not talking to me and implies that I’m breaking up with him. Should I still continue no contact even if he G.N.A.T me?

    Ps he often says he loves me, shows me love, and says the love is still real

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    December 1, 2018 at 7:19 pm

    My ex broke up with me because he found me messaging guys in an innapproptiate way, we dated for 2 years (literally broke up on our 2 years) and the messages he found were from when we were 3 months, but i also messaged other guys (just normal) that he found, everytime we talk then he is just pointing out more things ive been doing such as following guys and liking guys pictures, i always accused him and was jealous so he says that is what makes it worse, but today he finally told me he is happier now and could never come back.. idk if hes just saying that because he is hurt or if i should give up

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    November 29, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me after a year because he said he did not want to do long distance anymore. He said he still loved me but he needed to do this for himself since he missed me too much when I was gone. I left for school and then decided to text him that I wished we had not been together over the summer when he knew he did not want to continue the relationship and he responded rudely. I then did not talk to him for 20 days and then he messaged me saying he missed me and wanted to be friends. Should I accept the apology and be friends? or is this a trap and could keep me in the friend zone forever. He has made it very clear that he does not want to do long distance but I will be gone for the next 2 and a half years at school

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    November 20, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    After 10 months together, My ex broke up with me over a fight that I started via text that he didn’t even want to talk about. I was having a bad day and it was about the time he spent with me. If anything I just wanted to talk about it even though I went about it the wrong way. I was shocked when the next day he said he was selfish and shouldn’t be in a relationship. Up until then I thought we were happy. I think he got scared but idk. I also now think he has avoidant tendencies. We are both in our 40s. He’s been married before and I haven’t. Anyway,
    I met him through volunteering at an animal shelter. Ironically I started there to build my own life aside from being with a man. Then I met him and we fell for each other. He works there. Every weekend I did at least one event with him. I loved being with him and the animals. After he broke up with me I was and am heart broken. It’s been 2 1/2 months now. At first he responded to my texts but I just kept begging him to take me back. Then I did N.C. for a month and now I tried texting him and he doesn’t respond. I’m basically a secure person until something like this happens. I have become an insecure obsessive mess. I just can’t understand it all. I thought he cared about me.
    Anyway, I haven’t had the heart to go back to the shelter even when he’s not there. I’m embarrassed and my heart sinks at the thought of being somewhere that he goes every day. And where I had so much fun with him at. Not that it was all about him, but the 2 are now tied together for me. So I don’t even have my happy place. My question is, am doing the wrong thing by not showing my face back there(when he’s not there)? Is it making me look even weaker? Or should I be staying away?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 9:56 pm

      Hi Kris!

      Yes, I understand. There are various attachment styles and the “Avoidant” type has difficult attaching at times. You are going to come thru this. Keep focusing on your own healing. If he doesn’t come around, its his loss. IF you don’t want to go there…then don’t. Its not a sign of weakness, rather its just your preference and what makes sense from a pragmatic and personal perspective.

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    November 16, 2018 at 7:19 am

    My boyfriend and I broke up not more than 4 weeks ago, it was his birthday. He broke up with me. I honestly didn’t see it coming but after the break up I looked back and realized that he wasn’t trying anymore. I was in a long distance relationship by the way. Days before that dreadful day, we were cold to each other or should I say it was just me and he was sort of did what I did to him. I told him why I was acting that way and all he could say is sorry, never ending sorrys but nothing’s really changed. So I didn’t greet him on his birthday and then he told me that he waited until 12 midnight to see if I was going to greet him just like how I used to before. Honestly, I had this letter for him that I was supposed to post on Facebook for his birthday. I messaged all of our common friends to send him a private message and greet him on his birthday because I wanted him to wake up with loads of birthday greetings. I remember how he said that he wants his friends to remember his birthday without Facebook reminding them so he set his birthday to Private settings. I knew that he just wanted to feel recognized and appreciated but you see, my ex now boyfriend has a huge ego. I always tell him to reach out to our friends but he would always say “they’re busy”. Anyway to make the long story short, I didn’t greet him nor did I post the letter I made for him. I actually deactivated my Facebook days before we broke up. So on his birthday, I nagged him for ignoring me, my sentiments and I guess that was it. He got tired. Through text he said, “this is not working out…” I knew it then that he was going to break up with me. So I called him (video call), see we made this promise to each other that if ever we’re going to break up we’ll say it face-to-face. But I did call not because I want to break up but I was hoping that he’ll change his mind. But he didn’t I think even before THAT CALL he was so ready to break up with me. I begged and pleaded, cried my hear tout hoping that he’ll pity me but he just closed his eyes.

    Days before that break up conversation, we were okay. He even asked me if I want to have a baby because he was planning to come home next year and spend a month in our house. I am a single-mom by the way. He loves my daughter soooo much. He even said that he misses OUR daughter…that’s how he calls her. He would often show our picture to his friends saying that we are his family here in the Philippines. Days before the breakup he said that he wants to see and hug our daughter. We’ve been planning for the future and getting married. I think devastated and heartbroken are not enough to describe how I felt that time. I told him why does he have to say those things if he already planned to break up with me..he only said sorry.
    After the break up, I tried to beg again by sending him messages on Messenger but he stood by his decision. He was firm. I pleaded and begged for 2 days. But then I felt like, it’s not working out. Then we had this conversation thru messenger that we’ll just remain friends just like how we started. We went back to calling each other “Twin” because that what we were, we were inseparable at work, we think alike and we ate together. But on my part, I did it because I was still hoping but I know that on his part, we were really over. I tried that No Contact Rule upon reading these websites about how to win your ex back but just like any other girls I failed to complete the NC rule. I sent him a friendly message because I really missed him that it’s almost killing me..only to realize that we couldn’t really go back to how we were before even as “twins”. During that time that I didn’t contact him, he still talks to my daughter through IG. He always checks her IG stories, even video calls her. But he said it was my daughter who was trying to reach out to him first. My daughter is sort of mad at him because she saw how broken I was, how I tired myself from crying until I fall asleep. She never really wanted to reply to his messages but I asked my daughter to answer him. But then, I read these articles about the NC rule and its benefits so I implemented it. It’s been more than a week now since I last messaged him which by the way, I didn’t get any reply. he stopped messaging my daughter too but he still views my daughter’s IG story. And I reactivated my Facebook. I told him before that I will only reactivate my Facebook account when I am ready. I was too scared to see what he’s going to post online. I was right he tagged some random girl on his posts two I think, and of course just like any other girls I stalked that girls account. I found out that she has 2 FB account. One account has her pictures of her boyfriend and the OTHER which my ex boyfriend tagged in his posts where she appeared to be single. When I checked my ex boyfriends posts, I felt in my heart that he’s also in pain because of our break up. My ex boyfriend expresses his feeling through songs. And he’s been posting songs about his feelings and lyrics clearly said that he’s hurting. He shared a post about how tall men and short women make the happiest couple. My ex is 6 feet tall and I’m only 4 feet and 11 inches. I sent him that very same post only I took screenshot of it and sent it to him. He knew that I didn’t like our height difference but he finds it cute. He shared another post about this fastfood restaurant that he knows I love so much, it even has the caption of our endearment. Then he would post some quotes about moving on, about how well he’s dealing with the breakup. He posted pictures of him at the gym day after our breakup. Then he would post songs again about how hurt he is. His behavior online is really confusing me. We always had arguments about me posting quotes on facebook whenever we’re having a fight. He said that I was just seeking attention and he doesn’t like the idea that our friends would know that we’re not ok. But after the breakup it was him who’s been very active on Facebook. He knows me very well. He knows that I would react on every single post that he’ll share on his wall just like how I did when we were together. But I didn’t. I didn’t react. I just cried to myself seeing all those posts. and I noticed that after I reactivated my account he untagged himself to my posts in the past. He even deleted his comments on my posts. He also deleted his posts about moving on his changed his profile picture to an excerpt from a song. Song literally meant that if we don’t end up together then I’ll keep myself from loving you. And after all that drama on Facebook, he just decided to deactivate his account keeping his messenger active and he still didn’t block me. I’m really confused right now. I don’t know whether or not I should move on and forget about him or keep hoping…

  20. Avatar


    November 15, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    I’m totally confused. We dated for 2 years and I was def in love with him. Towards the end we got into a couple of arguments. He dumped me and then like a week later I found out that he has a new girlfriend. I confronted him about it, we argued and I completely stopped contacting him. I had originally blocked him when we initially broke up and I found out that he was in a new relationship. I have since unblocked him but still not contacting him. About a month after unblocking him I realized through mutual friends on social media that he has now blocked me. I never reached out or blew up his phone, creeped on his FB or anything. Why now after a month would he go back and block me?

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