5,813 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. Avatar

    Sam

    May 6, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    I did no contact for 3 weeks then bumped into him. He texted that night. Then texted again the next day. Day 3 turned into fun texting for hours. Just random chit chat. He’s in a rebound relationship and I found out that she was at his place the whole time he was texting me. Day 5 the texting started turning sexual. Day 6 he was intoxicated that evening and it became full sexting. I was excited that the level of contact and intimacy had increased every day. Then day 7 I never heard from him and found out that she was at his place spending the night. I was crushed. Again. Felt used. I assume I should now return to no contact. But don’t know for certain what to do. And what do I do if he contacts me again. I can’t allow myself to be used as a toy. He was always incredibly excited by our sexting when we were a couple. Perhaps this is something he doesn’t get from the new girl. I’m just heartbroken to feel like I was just used as an object.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2019 at 10:30 pm

      HI Sam….I know it hurts. No Contact though can be used to lift yourself up and many other things too.

  2. Avatar

    Rebecca

    April 29, 2019 at 10:54 am

    Hi Christ..,I need to talk to you on voice note,any number I can use to reach you?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 29, 2019 at 9:03 pm

      Hi Rebecca….probably best to reach me thru the Contact form or support email if you are a customer. My time gets really stretched. If you are looking for some personalized help, then you also may want to look at our Coaching Services. You can find more information about that and other resources under my “Products” tab.

  3. Avatar

    P

    April 25, 2019 at 5:58 am

    My long distance ex (we were together for over 2.5 years all long distance). Loved each other a lot, we even wanted to get married but he dumped me 3 months ago because towards the end he thought the relationship became mentally abusive. I did no contact for over a month and he actually texted me asking how I was. We have been texting every day for a week now, he’s hot and cold but not rude at all. I want to have the talk about us going forward but the only “date” we can have is on skype. I feel much better and I’m doing very well at work too, I feel good in general and I really want him back in my life.

  4. Avatar

    Cyn

    April 7, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Hey Chris, so I was in no contact for 45 days so I’m the 45th day it was my birthday so my ex wished me happy birthday and he called me by our nickname and I replied with “thks” he called three times I didn’t pick. So after two days I mistakenly called and he didn’t pick neither did he call back. I don’t know what else to do should I go back to doing the no contact or I should initiate contact.

  5. Avatar

    Yvonne

    March 24, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    Hi Chris, I was with my partner for 20 years, I’m absolutley devastated that we broke up, the last few years were tough but I always thought we’d be together it was more like a marriage. That was 3 months ago ,I made all the usual mistakes begging and pleading. I think he’s got someone else but I’m not sure. I’ve not contacted him recently but the problem is he’s my boss so although we don’t speak we’re in the same vicinity and it’s horrible. I’ve accepted that I can’t change his mind so I’ve cleared the house we rented together and I’ve took all my bills wages ect out of our joint account. I’m trying to move on with my life, but I do truly love him. I’ve lost 20lbs ,try to look happy and smiley. Do you think I should leave my job to make him miss me more? Or do you think he’s totally moved on and I don’t stand a chance? Thanks Y in Scotland. X

  6. Avatar

    Florence

    March 12, 2019 at 10:09 pm

    Hello Chris. My boyfriend broke up with me and I did all the wrong things like begging and pleading, which I knew I should not have done. A day later, I went into no contact. On day 22, he texted me, explaining why he kept mute all that time and telling me how shocked and surprised he was that I had ever asked him if he didn’t love and want me anymore . It was a long text. He ended by saying “I thought we should be best of friends and lovers, who do not take anything personal”…
    To be honest, he never said he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore but when I noticed he was distant, and asked that question, and he didn’t respond, I took it to mean he didn’t care anymore. Also, every attempt to placate him the next day, was met with stoic silence, so I took that to mean he had broken up with me, and started no contact. Well, I did respond to his text but I was quite reserved, though polite. I also kept it short and didn’t carry the conversation.
    I hope I get him back, Chris.

  7. Avatar

    Hanu

    March 8, 2019 at 4:57 am

    Hi Chris, my story was bit difficult. Donno how to explain!! He left me three months ago. I did such things like begged, pleaded in an emotional psychic. But he is still in contact to motivate me. But I know he is missing me too and addicted to drink. I didn’t apply Nc yet. Just for 1 week I’ve not in contact with him. When I’ve seen his texts after that week he was missed me a lot. The problem is, he is not convincing his parents to get married. He is not daring. During our 2years friendship n 3years of relationship we never fought for once also.. so much understanding btw us & very romantic pair. Still am missing him. If I apply NC now, do I get him back or I loss forever?? He is more strategic & intelligent. But I want him back. Please help me. And I don’t have much time also, my parents searching for another guy for wedding. Is there any chance to win him back within 2months?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 8, 2019 at 10:50 pm

      Hi Hanu!

      You should give serious consideration to implementing NC for some time period as it has, though in this situation I would recommend much beyond a few weeks. You are already week in and have gotten some positive efforts from him.

  8. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 22, 2019 at 3:54 am

    hey so I made it even simpler and said “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry about yesterday and I’m sorry we are going through all of this”

    I know I’ve hurt my chances more :(. I was doing so well and I messed up. He didn’t respond to the above text but I think he at least read it. Things may never work out now but I still feel like I have to try just not be so needy and never mention getting back together for maybe 5 months or more or never.. I hate this feeling of neediness. I don’t like giving up.

  9. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 21, 2019 at 8:19 am

    This is a edited version. I felt like the other one was too long.

    I just wanted to say I’m sorry about our fight at the U of A. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.

    You won’t be hearing from me for a while.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 10:36 pm

      Hey Barbara…I think that works as a “heads up” for going into No Contact

  10. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 21, 2019 at 8:10 am

    Hey Chris,
    I was thinking about sending him this email. What do you think?

    I just wanted to say I’m sorry about our fight at the U of A. I don’t want to hurt you and I have a bad habit of spitting out what comes into my head. I really didn’t want to bring it up but it has been bothering me and I felt like I needed to.

    Even though I really do want things to work out I can’t change your mind that’s your decision. I want you to be happy and If that means you’re happy without me than I’ll have to be ok with that.

    You won’t be hearing from me for a while.

  11. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 21, 2019 at 6:52 am

    Hey Chris!

    I made a HUGE mistake. So my ex and I go to different schools but I joined a club that is at the same school that he goes too. I walked into the cafeteria and one of the first people I saw looked like him from the back. He had his U.S. motorcycle helmet, a new jacket, his leather jacket and that blonde hair. So I came over and sat at his table. He was surprised because he didn’t expect to see me there. I said hi and asked if it was ok if I sat down. I asked him how he was doing. He told me that he was getting 3 to 4 hrs of sleep because of school, That this has been his hardest semester so far and he just had a test. He said he had to leave soon because he had his political club tonight. He asked me how I was doing. I told him a story about a seizure dog at the hospital, my classes, the parts I like and dislike about my job. I tried to be upbeat and positive most of the time. He said it sounds like you are doing good. He wasn’t the normal smiley person that he used to be around me but he wasn’t angry. He said it sounded like I was doing well.

    I gave him a hug and almost walked away without bringing up the breakup. I was so close but it has been eating me up so I felt like I had to say it. I told him “I don’t know If I can be your friend because I want more than that. I told him that I love him and I’m worried that when he goes to California for work that I’ll never see him again. I told him I don’t know what you’re thinking and you need to tell me and that you can’t hold it in. I told him I need to know If this will ever work out and that I didn’t want to pressure him and that he didn’t have to give me a decision right now. He was so frustrated and sad it took him forever to get the words out. His face was really red. He said “I don’t know if it will ever work out and I’m sorry” I can’t remember if that is word for word or not. He told me a month ago that he didn’t want to discuss this again in a month. I asked him If he can think about and he said ok. He said that he felt like our relationship never grew that we stayed in the same place and that he tried so hard to make things work. He said that we didn’t get to see each other enough, that he felt like I didn’t want to spend time with him and that we were fighting too much. We didn’t fight but we would argue. He said he wasn’t happy anymore. He used to tell me how happy he was with me. In August he was talking about getting engaged. I talked briefly about the reasons why he said he broke up with me. I told him I wanted to have a family with him someday, and that I didn’t think he let the conflict with him and my mom stop him before. He said it bothered me and I told you that but I didn’t show it. I told him I can’t control how my mom feels about him. I gave him a couple of hugs before I left. He let me hug him but he didn’t hug me the way he used to. I asked him if he was ok with me texting him and he said he needs more space/time I can’t remember which. I got mad because I felt like he didn’t care about me and I said “You care that little about me”? He started to walk away. I don’t remember if I said anything but he came back and said that I would do anything for you and left shortly after that. So we both left sad and angry. When we could have left neutral. I feel so bad that I brought it up and I’m not sure what to do.

    A long time ago my mom really pushed me to break up with him and he knew about it. So one night he drove around for a hour and then texted me that he wanted to fight for us. There was some other time that we were talking about breaking up and I threw up because I was so stressed out. He was relieved because it showed how much I cared.

    So right now I’m thinking several options.

    A. Send him a email apologizing for bringing up the subject again and be honest with my feelings. Wish him the best.

    B. Don’t text him for another month or two to try to lessen the damage I did.

    C. Never text him again, give up and move on

  12. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 20, 2019 at 8:20 am

    I planned out how I wanted Day 5 to go. What do you think? It might be weird to plan out exactly how the conversation is going to go but I guess I know how he’s reacting right now so I’m trying give myself the opportunity to say what I need to without being too needy. Right now he is being polite by answering what he needs to but he doesn’t care how I’m doing. It’s similar to my very first contact message because there is a little mystery and he has to reply to it.

    Me: Hey, so you know how I don’t like to dance in front of like… anyone? Well, now I have a good reason and I’m scarred for lifeee!
    Tim: What happened?
    Me: I was being goofy and dancing to music and I had the feeling like someone was watching me so I turned around and they were just staring at me and they couldn’t stop laughing for like 10 min :). So the lesson is that you can only really be yourself when you are alone ;).
    Tim: No response or that’s funny.
    Me: I don’t believe that it’s possible to truly be yourself around others except God. You put on a different mask for different people. I’ve noticed that I can have a carefree attitude with my friends but then I’m really shy and scared around anyone that is in authority. What do you think?
    Tim: I disagree, You should be able to express yourself around everyone.
    Me: Right now I guess what I’m trying to realize is that it’s important to have things that you enjoy in life. It’s important to have friends,ambitions and it’s ok to want silly things like skincare or books but that if we are living only for ourselves or to please someone that we will never feel complete because I’m nothing without God. He should be the center of everything I do. I really like this verse Psalm 16:2- I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.

  13. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 20, 2019 at 4:20 am

    Hey Chris!

    So I waited two days and he never initiated a conversation. I texted him at like 8:00 p.m. tonight. Here was our conversation.

    Me: I sent him a funny picture about politics and I said “I thought you would enjoy this it made me smile :)”
    .
    Him: Thanks

    Me: How was your day?

    Him: It was good. I had an opti exam other than that just busy with homework.

    Me: Sent a funny meme about hw.

    He didn’t even bother to ask me how I was doing. I feel like he’s being selfish right now. Last time I texted at least he bothered to ask me how I was. What do you think I should do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:27 am

      Lots of guys are just no so good at communicating in a selfless, sensitive way. It kinda a guy thing for way too many guys. Just keep things on a positive vibe.

  14. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 17, 2019 at 6:01 am

    Ok. Thanks I’ll try that. I sent a picture of a dog with a comment today and he never responded. It didn’t require a response but he could have replied. A couple of hours later, I asked him how he was doing he responded in a minute with “I’m ok. Hbu?” I said I’ve been pretty busy but I’m good 🙂 and that was the end of the conversation. So I’ll do what you said and see what happens :).

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 11:06 pm

      Good luck Barbara!

  15. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 16, 2019 at 5:43 am

    So I sent my first contact message about the dog’s heart that stopped beating. he responded by saying “What happened?” and “That’s good”. When should I ask him how he’s doing?

    For tomorrow I was thinking of sending one of the other first contact message ideas I wrote about. What would you suggest? I was going to save more interesting stories for later on. Or send a funny meme about vegans, homework, comic books, exercise.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 1:20 am

      Hi Barabara!

      Sounds like you are on the right track! Maybe wait 36 to 48 hours or longer before sending another text to see if he will initiate.

  16. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 8, 2019 at 4:18 am

    I know that my attempt at trying to win him back might not work. I am trying to accept that it might not work and that life will move on with or without him. Do you think it is necessary to move on before starting a new relationship with someone? I know how to be content with myself because I’m a introvert but lately it’s been hard to focus on other things besides him. I don’t like that he is consuming my thoughts in negative ways. I’m ok if I think of the good memories. I am trying so hard to make things work out but If they don’t than they don’t. I have to develop more ideas on good text ideas. He’s very stubborn so it basically has to be HIS idea to make things work out. I love him, if I didn’t I would give up.

    I know it would be very hard for him and my family to feel comfortable if things worked out.

    I’m nervous about contacting him. I’m worried that he’ll either ignore my text or reply with something rude even though he has treated me very well over the years.

    He hasn’t contacted me at all during the no contact period because he said he needs time to heal so maybe he doesn’t miss me at all? I’m worried that he is either angry, resentful, sad or has moved on already.

  17. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 6, 2019 at 7:45 pm

    Ok. Thanks! I’ll use that one soon!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 7, 2019 at 2:19 am

      Your welcome Barbara!

  18. Avatar

    Barbara

    February 5, 2019 at 6:30 am

    I looked at some of your posts and here is a couple of possibilities for a first contact message after no contact. I’m a vet tech so some of them might be odd :). Could you let me know what you think? Thanks!

    Message 1

    Me: You won’t believe what just happened to me?

    Him: What?

    Me: I was recovering a puppy from anesthesia and it’s heart suddenly stopped. Fortunately we were able to revive it and it’s ok now :).

    Message 2
    He’s a good dancer and would want me to dance with him. I’ve always been self conscious of being goofy and dancing in front of others.

    Me: I am…..like scarred for life.

    Him: Why?

    Me: I thought everyone was in bed so I was dancing to some music and suddenly I turn my head and someone is starring at me and they couldn’t stop laughing for like….. 10 min ;).

    Message 3
    He loves meat and I used to be a vegetarian.

    Me: Send a pic of me holding a chicken. This is before I ate the chicken! Wa ha ha 😉

    Message 4

    He likes retrievers

    Me: Send a pic of a retriever with a man bun.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 6, 2019 at 1:33 am

      Message 1 wins the race!

  19. Avatar

    Barbara

    January 31, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    I begged and basically said that I can date other people and I know that he can too but that I can’t give up hope. Is something like this better? I thought about sending a text about something he’s interested in but the thing is we are very different and If I did that it would be weird and unexpected. He likes motorcycles, politics, optics, guns, superhero and sci fi movies

    Hey. Do you remember the name of that Mexican restaurant that we had dinner at in Oro valley? I want to go there with a friend. I thought it was so funny that out of all the options you choose a burger :).

    Hey do you remember that name of the pet store that you took me to with reptiles and birds? I want to go there with a friend. Hope all is going well.

    And then for a second text later on
    “ I’m watching Superman right now and It made me think of how much you like Dean Cain. I hope all is going well.”

    Hey. Do you remember that one time we saw the King and I together? I was so excited that you got the tickets. I hope all is going well.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 1, 2019 at 12:31 am

      Hi Barabara. You might want to revisit some of the texting strategies I discuss in my Program and eBooks. Its a bit of art to it in that you want to generate curiosity…a lot of curiosity if possible, but keep it briefer. Feel free to visit my home page and the resources I offer.

  20. Avatar

    Barbara

    January 31, 2019 at 12:56 am

    I was thinking about contacting him with this message when I’m done with no contact and to say this but I’m worried that he’ll be hurt and think that I don’t care for him anymore and that I’ve moved on. I’m hoping that it will help bring his guard down so he doesn’t think I’m pressuring him to get back together soon.

    “Hey, I just want to let you know that I’m cool with the breakup. A lot of exciting things have been happening in my life lately, will love to tell you about it sometime. Also, I wanted to thank you for everything. Thanks a lot!”

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 31, 2019 at 1:25 am

      Hi Barbara….its not a bad text, but my recommended method is for a briefer kind of text and different approach. I talk about in much greater detail on my website and of course my eBooks!

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