There are a lot of ways to get noticed by your ex.

But are they the right ways?

That’s what we are going to be talking about in this article today.

I want to take a pretend situation where we have an ex who wants nothing to do with you. Who actively wants to ignore you and systematically break down how to get them to notice you again.

I always get excited when I do things like this because I know I’m going to be talking about things that I’ve never touched on before and it’s so exciting.

4 Ways To Get An Ex To Notice You Again 

Obviously there are a lot more than five ways to get an ex to notice you after a breakup.

But these are the four core ways that I think need to be present throughout every situation.

Here’s a quick round up,

  1. Understand It’s All About Being Noticed After You’ve Evolved
  2. The No Contact Rule
  3. Utilize Social Media To It’s Fullest
  4. Ruthless Actions And Kind Words

Now, before we begin I do want to point out that this article has a unique twist to it.

We are going to be taking a “pretend situation” where I am going to teach you how to get an ex, who wants nothing to do with you, to notice you again.

Meet bob, he hates you,

Out goal throughout this article is to make someone like this change their tune.

To not only get them to stop hating you but to also perk up and notice you.

No, I think that’s cutting it too short.

I want to teach you how to make Bob captivated with you.

Let’s begin.

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Way #1: Understand It’s All About Being Notice After You’ve Evolved

Being noticed is just about having someone notice you from afar.

I notice my wife walking around all sexy like all the time but I don’t tell her about it.

In this scenario, does she know that I notice her?

Probably not.

What I think you are really seeking is some type of indication that you’ve been noticed.

Some kind or flirty words for your trouble.

The problem is that when a lot of my clients set out to “get noticed” they don’t do anything to change the paradigm.

I’m a big believer in evolution of self.

I think that often there are certain events, like a bad breakup, that can inspire us to evolve or better ourselves.

Ideally, instead of letting the breakup actually break you, you flip the script on it’s head and come out of this better than ever.

The big issue I see with people who are trying to get “Bob” to notice them again is that they try all the tactics out before they’ve given themselves a chance to evolve.

To Bob there doesn’t appear to be any drastic change in behavior from when he broke up with you originally.

Now, compare that notice point to one where you’ve actually gone through an extreme evolution.

Which do you think has better results?

The one where you actually have gone through a significant evolution, right?

Here’s my main point.

Before you start obsessing about getting your ex to notice you, think first of what they will be noticing.

Will it be the same person they’ve always seen.


Will it be someone who has gone an extreme evolution?

Let’s move on.

Way #2: Allow The No Contact Rule To Give You Time To Evolve

If you’ll recall my cool little chart above there is one thing consistent throughout.


It takes time to evolve.

But how does it all fit together?

Well, this is actually one of the many uses of the no contact rule.

I’ve done a lot when it comes to the no contact rule.

I’ve written many articles.

I’ve recorded many videos.

I reference or talk about it in almost all the articles I’ve written for this website.

But I haven’t really touched on the biggest mistake I see people making with the no contact rule.

It’s really easy to get excited when you hear about something like the no contact rule. Many of my clients think it’s the ultimate answer for getting an ex back but it’s not.

It’s a piece of the overall strategy.

Doing it alone won’t win your ex back.

And that’s the biggest mistake I see people making.

The No Contact Rule = A period of time, typically between 21 – 45 days where you ignore your ex on purpose with the intent of making them miss you while at the same time cultivating your personal life.

When I give people that definition they only seem to read the “make your ex miss you” part and forget completely about cultivate their own lives part.

The no contact rule is all about giving you and your ex time to evolve.

Way #3: Utilize Social Media To It’s Fullest 

My little made up character of your ex, Bob is like any ex.

He goes through the pendulum of emotions.

From hating you one moment to loving you the next.

One of his most common practices is to check social media.

He never wants you to know he’s spying on you but he is.

There’s any number of reasons for why.

  1. To make sure you’re as miserable as he is
  2. To ensure you haven’t found someone else
  3. Curiosity

I did this after I’d go through a breakup.

I’d literally even make it a daily routine for a few weeks.

Just to see.

And it always drove me nuts when there would be something on social media from my ex that showed her having fun.

Misery loves company, after all.

But why would it drive me nuts?

Why would it annoy me?

I think it was because I was relegated to a position where I was on the outside looking in.

Have you ever watched a kid who doesn’t get to play with all the other kids?

He has to watch from a fence or through a window as his or her friends just have a blast.

This is kind of what it’s like when an ex watches you have a great time without them.

They know they can’t say anything but it puts them in this position where they confront what being alone really means.

Way #4: Ruthless Actions And Kind Words

I’ve been doing this for close to seven years now and have coined a lot of terms in my time.

Perhaps none have been as revolutionary as “the ungettable girl” or “guy” for the men out there.

The problem was that I was always touching on the essence of “being ungettable” but never fully knew how to teach people to achieve this mythical status.

As you can see, sometimes it takes years before these ideas can be fully taught.

But today I had an idea.

There are two defining characteristics of someone who is “ungettable.”

Ruthless Actions and Kind Words

Someone who isn’t afraid to do what it takes to get their ex back but is able to have this friendly demeanor while they do it.

The “UG” can be intimidating but not so intimidating that no one wants to even talk with them.

And therein lies the problem with a lot of people. They take the “ruthless actions” too far and are only that.

They forget to be kind.

Think of it like a scale.

Ideally you’d have a perfect balance between ruthless actions and kind words,

The problem I see a lot of times is that the scale always appears to be out of balance.

Now, I think I probably need to expand on what I mean by “ruthless action.”

When I refer to “ruthless actions” I am actually referring to any of the hard decisions you have to make when you try to get your ex back.

  • This can be anything from implementing a no contact rule and STAYING in it.
  • It can also be ending a conversation early that is going incredibly well.
  • Sometimes it’s something as harsh as realizing you have to walk away from your ex for a few months.

Being ruthless with these actions are what usually gets you results but you can’t forget to be kind.

My wife, when we were just dating, once told me she was a sweet bitch.

It weirded me out when I first thought about it.

“Why is she calling herself a bitch?” I thought to myself.

But she was calling herself a sweet bitch.

There’s a difference.

A bitch is someone who you don’t want to be around.

Someone who is ruthless and only that.

A sweet bitch is someone who isn’t afraid to be ruthless when it’s warranted but most of their dynamic is sweet.

They do and say kind things.

It’s ok to be ruthless but don’t forget to be kind.

12 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex To Notice You Again”

  1. Nancy Cicale

    November 29, 2018 at 11:40 am

    We moved into a new house in June by August he threw me out changed locks after living w/him for almost 9yrs in my place did everything for him drove him around all over it was over my grandchildren he’s a man of 66 I’m 73 no where to go no contact since his way or no way he claimed he loved me ha! Could go on long story just coming out of depression starting to feel good about myself please give me some advise

  2. Innk

    November 22, 2018 at 8:15 am

    Hey Chris! My ex and I had a bad breakup. He broke up with me but is so nasty. He gave me his Facebook password while we were together and two months after our breakup he refuses to change it. Now he’s started chatting with girls on Facebook and trying to set up dates with them- even exchanging numbers. I asked him to change the password at the beginning of the breakup but he said he’s nothing to hide. I know the thought is, restrain yourself and I’ve tried but I slip up. Recently his sister who lives in a different city reached out to make plans with me for next year. At some point I had to ask if she didn’t know her brother and I are no longer together. She claimed she didn’t and that when she’d asked about me he told her I was fine. I think she’s not telling the truth though- they talk everyday. Anyway, how do I get him to change his password? Thanks
    Now confused as to if I still like him or not.

  3. Allison

    November 20, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    Hi Chris
    My ex and I left off on good terms, but I told him I could not talk to him for a while and to not talk to me. He’s reached out twice since, but not in a romantic way-just to share news with me. He said he wants to be friends, but I think he’s been hanging out with new girls and I’m worried he’s totally over me. Do you think I’m doing the right thing and that this still might work even though I don’t know if he misses me or not?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Allison!

      That’s positive that the two of you left on solid terms. Maybe he is still trying to figure things out. Some guys get this notion in their head that the grass is always greener, but often the answer is staring them in the face. Tap into my eBook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, as it serves as a great Companion Guide.

  4. Allison

    November 20, 2018 at 1:44 am

    Hi Chris
    My ex and I broke up a month ago and left off on good terms, but I told him I could not talk to him for a while and to not talk to me. He’s reached out twice since, but not in a romantic “i miss you” way. He said he wants to be friends, but I think he’s been hanging out with new girls and I’m worried he’s totally over me. Do you think I’m doing the right thing and that this still might work even though I don’t know if he misses me or not?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 10:09 pm

      Hi Allison!

      So he is taking out of both sides of his mouth. I don’t think he realizes your full value. Consider employing no contact. I wrote a book called, “The No Contact Rule book” you might want to check out!

  5. Laura

    November 19, 2018 at 4:57 am

    Hi Chris! POI reached out on Day 21 w/ generic “How are you? Just wanted to say hello”. But I had just gotten a new phone and my contacts/messages didn’t synch immediately or properly. A few days later, I replied that I have a new phone and not sure who this is. No reply. I figured it out afterwards but didn’t see the point in rekindling anything anymore so I never followed up. Anyway, it’s been another three weeks now. Out of curiosity, would you consider my reply to him breaking NC when I didn’t know who it was? TY!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 1:40 am

      I wouldn’t worry about it!

  6. Hannah

    November 16, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    Hey Chris! I just wanted to take the time to personally thank you for your work. I was dumped, and initially the pain was unbearable, I couldn’t rationalize, nothing made sense. Then, I stumbled upon your videos when I was hopelessly google searching. In my shattered state, something about you seemed so trustworthy–so I decided to follow your advice. I cut off my ex reluctantly, even though I still felt inferior because he was the one who hurt me, went cold turkey, and started to improve my life. At first, it felt fake. I didn’t go overboard on Instagram, but I essentially did the “fake it till you make it.” I took each day at a time, stopped stalking him, and just put myself out there. Every time I would get panicky or sad, I would listen to a podcast. I would even fall asleep listening to them! Two months later, I am thriving. I feel like the power is back in my hands. The advice that you gave truly affected me from the inside out and changed me, so now I am TRULY confident, happy, and UNGETTABLE! Chris its amazing!!!! I have witnessed through friends that my ex is stalking my profile, and he even started liking my posts again. No contact is working on his end obviously, but really more it worked for me. At this point, do I want him back again? NO! I found myself because of your program. And for that, I want you thank you from the bottom of my now healed heart. 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 18, 2018 at 7:42 pm

      I am so happy for you Hannah!

  7. jennifer grains

    November 16, 2018 at 11:17 am

    getting an ex to notice you is not even a problem,but getting back a lost husband,i had to consult a very brilliant programmer to help me get back into his devices,and i was able to lure him back home and we live happy can also contact thedarkhacker at protonmail . c0m incase you need a good hackman to help you do what you desire.

  8. R

    November 16, 2018 at 5:51 am

    I broke up with him and then tried to get him back and he told me that he thinks he just need a break because he’s so busy with school and work and figuring out his life. I started no contact after he said that but I was wondering if I should still contact him after? I’m coming to the end of no contact and I haven’t heard from him and I’m not sure if I should be the one to reach out first since he’s the one that said he needed space.

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