By Chris Seiter

Updated on May 18th, 2021

There are a lot of ways to get noticed by your ex.

But are they the right ways?

That’s what we are going to be talking about in this article today.

I want to take a pretend situation where we have an ex who wants nothing to do with you. Who actively wants to ignore you and systematically break down how to get them to notice you again.

I always get excited when I do things like this because I know I’m going to be talking about things that I’ve never touched on before and it’s so exciting.

4 Ways To Get An Ex To Notice You Again 

Obviously there are a lot more than five ways to get an ex to notice you after a breakup.

But these are the four core ways that I think need to be present throughout every situation.

Here’s a quick round up,

  1. Understand It’s All About Being Noticed After You’ve Evolved
  2. The No Contact Rule
  3. Utilize Social Media To It’s Fullest
  4. Ruthless Actions And Kind Words

Now, before we begin I do want to point out that this article has a unique twist to it.

We are going to be taking a “pretend situation” where I am going to teach you how to get an ex, who wants nothing to do with you, to notice you again.

Meet bob, he hates you,

Out goal throughout this article is to make someone like this change their tune.

To not only get them to stop hating you but to also perk up and notice you.

No, I think that’s cutting it too short.

I want to teach you how to make Bob captivated with you.

Let’s begin.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Way #1: Understand It’s All About Being Notice After You’ve Evolved

Being noticed is just about having someone notice you from afar.

I notice my wife walking around all sexy like all the time but I don’t tell her about it.

In this scenario, does she know that I notice her?

Probably not.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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What I think you are really seeking is some type of indication that you’ve been noticed.

Some kind or flirty words for your trouble.

The problem is that when a lot of my clients set out to “get noticed” they don’t do anything to change the paradigm.

I’m a big believer in evolution of self.

I think that often there are certain events, like a bad breakup, that can inspire us to evolve or better ourselves.

Ideally, instead of letting the breakup actually break you, you flip the script on it’s head and come out of this better than ever.

The big issue I see with people who are trying to get “Bob” to notice them again is that they try all the tactics out before they’ve given themselves a chance to evolve.

To Bob there doesn’t appear to be any drastic change in behavior from when he broke up with you originally.

Now, compare that notice point to one where you’ve actually gone through an extreme evolution.

Which do you think has better results?

The one where you actually have gone through a significant evolution, right?

Here’s my main point.

Before you start obsessing about getting your ex to notice you, think first of what they will be noticing.

Will it be the same person they’ve always seen.


Will it be someone who has gone an extreme evolution?

Let’s move on.

Way #2: Allow The No Contact Rule To Give You Time To Evolve

If you’ll recall my cool little chart above there is one thing consistent throughout.


It takes time to evolve.

But how does it all fit together?

Well, this is actually one of the many uses of the no contact rule.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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I’ve done a lot when it comes to the no contact rule.

I’ve written many articles.

I’ve recorded many videos.

I reference or talk about it in almost all the articles I’ve written for this website.

But I haven’t really touched on the biggest mistake I see people making with the no contact rule.

It’s really easy to get excited when you hear about something like the no contact rule. Many of my clients think it’s the ultimate answer for getting an ex back but it’s not.

It’s a piece of the overall strategy.

Doing it alone won’t win your ex back.

And that’s the biggest mistake I see people making.

The No Contact Rule = A period of time, typically between 21 – 45 days where you ignore your ex on purpose with the intent of making them miss you while at the same time cultivating your personal life.

When I give people that definition they only seem to read the “make your ex miss you” part and forget completely about cultivate their own lives part.

The no contact rule is all about giving you and your ex time to evolve.

Way #3: Utilize Social Media To It’s Fullest 

My little made up character of your ex, Bob is like any ex.

He goes through the pendulum of emotions.

From hating you one moment to loving you the next.

One of his most common practices is to check social media.

He never wants you to know he’s spying on you but he is.

There’s any number of reasons for why.

  1. To make sure you’re as miserable as he is
  2. To ensure you haven’t found someone else
  3. Curiosity

I did this after I’d go through a breakup.

I’d literally even make it a daily routine for a few weeks.

Just to see.

And it always drove me nuts when there would be something on social media from my ex that showed her having fun.

Misery loves company, after all.

But why would it drive me nuts?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Why would it annoy me?

I think it was because I was relegated to a position where I was on the outside looking in.

Have you ever watched a kid who doesn’t get to play with all the other kids?

He has to watch from a fence or through a window as his or her friends just have a blast.

This is kind of what it’s like when an ex watches you have a great time without them.

They know they can’t say anything but it puts them in this position where they confront what being alone really means.

Way #4: Ruthless Actions And Kind Words

I’ve been doing this for close to seven years now and have coined a lot of terms in my time.

Perhaps none have been as revolutionary as “the ungettable girl” or “guy” for the men out there.

The problem was that I was always touching on the essence of “being ungettable” but never fully knew how to teach people to achieve this mythical status.

As you can see, sometimes it takes years before these ideas can be fully taught.

But today I had an idea.

There are two defining characteristics of someone who is “ungettable.”

Ruthless Actions and Kind Words

Someone who isn’t afraid to do what it takes to get their ex back but is able to have this friendly demeanor while they do it.

The “UG” can be intimidating but not so intimidating that no one wants to even talk with them.

And therein lies the problem with a lot of people. They take the “ruthless actions” too far and are only that.

They forget to be kind.

Think of it like a scale.

Ideally you’d have a perfect balance between ruthless actions and kind words,

The problem I see a lot of times is that the scale always appears to be out of balance.

Now, I think I probably need to expand on what I mean by “ruthless action.”

When I refer to “ruthless actions” I am actually referring to any of the hard decisions you have to make when you try to get your ex back.

  • This can be anything from implementing a no contact rule and STAYING in it.
  • It can also be ending a conversation early that is going incredibly well.
  • Sometimes it’s something as harsh as realizing you have to walk away from your ex for a few months.

Being ruthless with these actions are what usually gets you results but you can’t forget to be kind.

My wife, when we were just dating, once told me she was a sweet bitch.

It weirded me out when I first thought about it.

“Why is she calling herself a bitch?” I thought to myself.

But she was calling herself a sweet bitch.

There’s a difference.

A bitch is someone who you don’t want to be around.

Someone who is ruthless and only that.

A sweet bitch is someone who isn’t afraid to be ruthless when it’s warranted but most of their dynamic is sweet.

They do and say kind things.

It’s ok to be ruthless but don’t forget to be kind.

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21 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex To Notice You Again”

  1. RS

    March 20, 2021 at 5:21 am

    Hi i am currently in the early stages of the no contact period and have my Facebook and instagram deactivated because my phone caused major problems in my relationship I have acknowledged all my mistakes and respect her space and only reply about important things she asks me yesterday i came clean about everything and put it all out there. I am already making large changes our break up was only a week ago and it was because I have on multiple times talked to other women and lied about things my question is if I reactivate my Facebook to post things to show positive change is she going to think im just going backwards and not following through on change because I reactivate Facebook when we were together i deactivated my account because I spent to much time on it and my phone in general

  2. Anne

    July 25, 2020 at 1:41 pm

    Hi Chris,
    So I was in a relationship with his guy for a year (in secret). We were friends to begin with and he made me believe him and his pregnant girlfriend were over and would be separating their house shortly so I caved all his begging and gave things a go.
    I was wary to begin with but we ended up falling in love. They had their child but he was still determined he needed to leave her and be with me. He suggested this a few times but I told him it was best he hold off till after Christmas. He seemed madly in love with me and we made all these plans together them one day he decides he needs to make another go of things with his gf for his baby’s sake. We didn’t end things though completely and unfortunately we were caught out. I know cheating is always wrong but to begin with I didn’t know that’s what was happening and by the time I did I was stupid in love.
    So when his gf found out she threw him out for a day or so said he would never see his child again etc but quickly took him back, told him they should make things work for the child’s sake and if he so much as even looks my direction and she finds out he will never see his child again. Naturally he is abiding by this and its killing me. I honestly felt we would have made things work if she hadn’t found out. I genuinely believe it’s me he loves and he’s doing this for the sake of his child which I respect 100% but I just think surely two people can’t stay together purely for the child’s sake. I love the child myself and miss him also. We work together and I’ve been trying to get his attention there since he no longer has social media.
    How can I get his attention, make him regret losing me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 2, 2020 at 10:31 am

      Hi Anne when you work together you need to implement the limited no contact rule where you only speak to him for work reasons not small reasons and not trying to get his attention. I would suggest that you follow a 30 day LNC again and work on your holy trinity during that time. Do not try to get his attention that will be obvious and he will be less interested in you. If you become indifferent to his presence that is how he is going to notice he is losing you

  3. Tina

    March 11, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    Hello Chris,
    I’ve noticed that i wasn’t my bf priority so I asked him to be honest and tell me if he loves me and then He blerk it all out and said that he’s been trying to hold on for the past couple months. We’re taking physics together in college every Tuesday and Thursday. So when he told me that he was unhappy and wanted to break up it shocked me so much and I told him that I cannot end things this way. I told him I want to give it a try and he said that he don’t know if he will ever love me again. He came over the next day to go to college and we hugged and kissed. I did beg him to give it a try. After two days I told him that we shouldn’t text until we see eachother tuesday (4days). I did text him once because he promised to help me with some school work and I was in need of help so I emailed him and he did it. He told him that he likes me and cared for me but he doesn’t love me! Btw we’ve been together for almost 3 years ( march 26 will be 3 years). What should I do??? He’s not a jealous type of boyfriend so I couldn’t use the NC rule for college student.

  4. Daisy

    January 8, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I broke up 5 month ago. I begged and pleaded and he played some mind games or hot and cold behaviour – perhaps a mixture of both. We slept together a one off. He thereafter acted like he was my bf again. I got confused and asked him what he wanted from me and why he was behaving like we were in a relationship if he didn’t want that and we fell out. Long story short he turned nasty saying some horrible things about me and then blocked me from him when I questioned why he was being nasty. I emailed him just before Christmas asking for a white flag to be drawn and to have peace before the end of the year. By this point we had not spoken for about a month. He replied two days later saying let’s meet for coffee. Then disappeared for days not responding to my reply. He replied eventually on the day he wanted to meet for coffee half an hour before the time. I ignored this message and replied the next day (I was a bit annoyed to say the least as it felt like game play again) I told him I was away on a holiday for new year (which I was) and another time and left it at that. He wished me wishes at new year and a couple of days later asked me for coffee. I attended at an agreed venue and time a couple of days ahead of the coffee meeting. We met and chatted for about an hour, we still get along. When I got home he messaged saying “I wish it didn’t end with you saying that to me” the conversation then turned into a sexual convo where he asked if I was going to go to his house. I ended the convo quickly saying I had to go … hoping to leave thoughts in his head. However he’s never replied and I have a gut feeling I won’t hear from him again. Now that I’ve done no contact I am unsure if I actually want him back now but part of me thinks I do. I hve bought your product and have tried to use all the techniques but seem to fail in getting him back … However I hve not failed at me. I have since the split got a brand new higher up position in well respected firm, I have started a small enterprise which I hope will succeed. So many opportunities have opened up in the months since the split it’s hard to pinpoint. I still attend the gym and do yoga three times a week. I also have many new friends and a brand new hobby which I love. I feel happy in myself and no longer feel out of control or crazy making like i was .. only 8 weeks ago. So I therefore thank you and your support for the help in getting me back. Thank you.
    My question now is did I miss something with him there? Was he testing the waters and I somehow blew it? The convo was light, nothing about the relationship. In fact he helped me with some of my new website and we chatted about how everyone was. That was it. We had a few giggles. I would date him again to see where it goes but at the same time my life is fulfilled and I know I will find someone eventually if we never do get back together. What do you think? Is 5 month far too long and too much water under the bridge? Should I hop on the no contact boat again or sail off forever. After all it seems he just wanted sex in that moment after the meeting?. I’m unsure of my next steps and so confused. Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 8, 2019 at 11:05 pm

      Hi Daisy!

      You should be proud of yourself of making it this far…feeling happy in yourself and feeling in more control. The relationships in our lives sometimes require hard work and not every one of them works out. But we all seek to learn and improve and make the right connections. That is revealing that you suspect he just wanted sex after the meetup. I think you explore all the wonderful paths out there for you. Also take a look at picking up “The No Contact Rule Book” as it get into the recovery process in some detail.

  5. LG Gal

    January 6, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Chris I can’t tell you how much your articles have helped me and gotten me through these last almost 2 months. My LD boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me the Friday before Thanksgiving and my whole world shattered, it was out of the blue, and I had no idea what to do with myself. I was totally heartbroken, I mean we had never even had an argument, which is unhealthy in itself. In these last 7 weeks I have utilized no contact, gotten through the crying every day stage, and improved myself a great deal, and finally felt like it was possible to get over him. He has stayed in touch throughout but I truly thought he just wanted to be friends. Well 4 days ago I was at work and started getting texts from him. He’s not one to talk about feelings, he hadn’t told me face to face that he loved me in our entire relationship. Well he went on to say that he is miserable and that nothing he has tried is working and that it’s driving him insane and then….he said those little words that I had been waiting 7 long weeks to hear…”The long and the short of it is I miss you”. Well my world shifted in its axis. We then agreed to see each other this weekend to talk face to face. The next day he texted and called and talked forever and texted me at work that he couldn’t wait to see me tm… and that, he even said…brace yourself…..I love you. Omg so at this point I was over the moon, I mean that’s real progress for him. We are currently at a cabin that he rented and have had a truly amazing time, he’s still in bed lol, We have talked about all the things we need to improve on and I am just so happy that I cannot think straight. Let me just say that your advice got me through many lonely nights and helped me get him back. I would lie there and cry my eyes out thinking that I had no hope at some points. Girls even when you think they’re not paying attention to the things that you’re doing…they are. And his staying in touch…he said he’s been waiting for me to want to talk but I had decided he would make the first move on that front, it would not be me. Anyways thank you Chris and your whole team, you guys are awesome!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 6, 2019 at 8:04 pm

      I am glad you are getting so much out of the website “LG Gal” and what a wonderful Success Story!

    2. Chris Seiter

      January 6, 2019 at 8:04 pm

      I am glad you are getting so much out of the website “LG Gal” and what a wonderful Success Story!

  6. Nancy Cicale

    November 29, 2018 at 11:40 am

    We moved into a new house in June by August he threw me out changed locks after living w/him for almost 9yrs in my place did everything for him drove him around all over it was over my grandchildren he’s a man of 66 I’m 73 no where to go no contact since his way or no way he claimed he loved me ha! Could go on long story just coming out of depression starting to feel good about myself please give me some advise

  7. Innk

    November 22, 2018 at 8:15 am

    Hey Chris! My ex and I had a bad breakup. He broke up with me but is so nasty. He gave me his Facebook password while we were together and two months after our breakup he refuses to change it. Now he’s started chatting with girls on Facebook and trying to set up dates with them- even exchanging numbers. I asked him to change the password at the beginning of the breakup but he said he’s nothing to hide. I know the thought is, restrain yourself and I’ve tried but I slip up. Recently his sister who lives in a different city reached out to make plans with me for next year. At some point I had to ask if she didn’t know her brother and I are no longer together. She claimed she didn’t and that when she’d asked about me he told her I was fine. I think she’s not telling the truth though- they talk everyday. Anyway, how do I get him to change his password? Thanks
    Now confused as to if I still like him or not.

  8. Allison

    November 20, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    Hi Chris
    My ex and I left off on good terms, but I told him I could not talk to him for a while and to not talk to me. He’s reached out twice since, but not in a romantic way-just to share news with me. He said he wants to be friends, but I think he’s been hanging out with new girls and I’m worried he’s totally over me. Do you think I’m doing the right thing and that this still might work even though I don’t know if he misses me or not?

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Allison!

      That’s positive that the two of you left on solid terms. Maybe he is still trying to figure things out. Some guys get this notion in their head that the grass is always greener, but often the answer is staring them in the face. Tap into my eBook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, as it serves as a great Companion Guide.

  9. Allison

    November 20, 2018 at 1:44 am

    Hi Chris
    My ex and I broke up a month ago and left off on good terms, but I told him I could not talk to him for a while and to not talk to me. He’s reached out twice since, but not in a romantic “i miss you” way. He said he wants to be friends, but I think he’s been hanging out with new girls and I’m worried he’s totally over me. Do you think I’m doing the right thing and that this still might work even though I don’t know if he misses me or not?

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 10:09 pm

      Hi Allison!

      So he is taking out of both sides of his mouth. I don’t think he realizes your full value. Consider employing no contact. I wrote a book called, “The No Contact Rule book” you might want to check out!

  10. Laura

    November 19, 2018 at 4:57 am

    Hi Chris! POI reached out on Day 21 w/ generic “How are you? Just wanted to say hello”. But I had just gotten a new phone and my contacts/messages didn’t synch immediately or properly. A few days later, I replied that I have a new phone and not sure who this is. No reply. I figured it out afterwards but didn’t see the point in rekindling anything anymore so I never followed up. Anyway, it’s been another three weeks now. Out of curiosity, would you consider my reply to him breaking NC when I didn’t know who it was? TY!

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 1:40 am

      I wouldn’t worry about it!

  11. Hannah

    November 16, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    Hey Chris! I just wanted to take the time to personally thank you for your work. I was dumped, and initially the pain was unbearable, I couldn’t rationalize, nothing made sense. Then, I stumbled upon your videos when I was hopelessly google searching. In my shattered state, something about you seemed so trustworthy–so I decided to follow your advice. I cut off my ex reluctantly, even though I still felt inferior because he was the one who hurt me, went cold turkey, and started to improve my life. At first, it felt fake. I didn’t go overboard on Instagram, but I essentially did the “fake it till you make it.” I took each day at a time, stopped stalking him, and just put myself out there. Every time I would get panicky or sad, I would listen to a podcast. I would even fall asleep listening to them! Two months later, I am thriving. I feel like the power is back in my hands. The advice that you gave truly affected me from the inside out and changed me, so now I am TRULY confident, happy, and UNGETTABLE! Chris its amazing!!!! I have witnessed through friends that my ex is stalking my profile, and he even started liking my posts again. No contact is working on his end obviously, but really more it worked for me. At this point, do I want him back again? NO! I found myself because of your program. And for that, I want you thank you from the bottom of my now healed heart. 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 18, 2018 at 7:42 pm

      I am so happy for you Hannah!

  12. jennifer grains

    November 16, 2018 at 11:17 am

    getting an ex to notice you is not even a problem,but getting back a lost husband,i had to consult a very brilliant programmer to help me get back into his devices,and i was able to lure him back home and we live happy can also contact thedarkhacker at protonmail . c0m incase you need a good hackman to help you do what you desire.

  13. R

    November 16, 2018 at 5:51 am

    I broke up with him and then tried to get him back and he told me that he thinks he just need a break because he’s so busy with school and work and figuring out his life. I started no contact after he said that but I was wondering if I should still contact him after? I’m coming to the end of no contact and I haven’t heard from him and I’m not sure if I should be the one to reach out first since he’s the one that said he needed space.