There are a lot of ways to get noticed by your ex.
But are they the right ways?
That’s what we are going to be talking about in this article today.
I want to take a pretend situation where we have an ex who wants nothing to do with you. Who actively wants to ignore you and systematically break down how to get them to notice you again.
I always get excited when I do things like this because I know I’m going to be talking about things that I’ve never touched on before and it’s so exciting.
4 Ways To Get An Ex To Notice You Again
Obviously there are a lot more than five ways to get an ex to notice you after a breakup.
But these are the four core ways that I think need to be present throughout every situation.
Here’s a quick round up,
- Understand It’s All About Being Noticed After You’ve Evolved
- The No Contact Rule
- Utilize Social Media To It’s Fullest
- Ruthless Actions And Kind Words
Now, before we begin I do want to point out that this article has a unique twist to it.
We are going to be taking a “pretend situation” where I am going to teach you how to get an ex, who wants nothing to do with you, to notice you again.
Meet bob, he hates you,
Out goal throughout this article is to make someone like this change their tune.
To not only get them to stop hating you but to also perk up and notice you.
No, I think that’s cutting it too short.
I want to teach you how to make Bob captivated with you.
Way #1: Understand It’s All About Being Notice After You’ve Evolved
Being noticed is just about having someone notice you from afar.
I notice my wife walking around all sexy like all the time but I don’t tell her about it.
In this scenario, does she know that I notice her?
What I think you are really seeking is some type of indication that you’ve been noticed.
Some kind or flirty words for your trouble.
The problem is that when a lot of my clients set out to “get noticed” they don’t do anything to change the paradigm.
I’m a big believer in evolution of self.
I think that often there are certain events, like a bad breakup, that can inspire us to evolve or better ourselves.
Ideally, instead of letting the breakup actually break you, you flip the script on it’s head and come out of this better than ever.
The big issue I see with people who are trying to get “Bob” to notice them again is that they try all the tactics out before they’ve given themselves a chance to evolve.
To Bob there doesn’t appear to be any drastic change in behavior from when he broke up with you originally.
Now, compare that notice point to one where you’ve actually gone through an extreme evolution.
Which do you think has better results?
The one where you actually have gone through a significant evolution, right?
Here’s my main point.
Before you start obsessing about getting your ex to notice you, think first of what they will be noticing.
Will it be the same person they’ve always seen.
Will it be someone who has gone an extreme evolution?
Let’s move on.
Way #2: Allow The No Contact Rule To Give You Time To Evolve
If you’ll recall my cool little chart above there is one thing consistent throughout.
It takes time to evolve.
But how does it all fit together?
Well, this is actually one of the many uses of the no contact rule.
I’ve done a lot when it comes to the no contact rule.
I’ve written many articles.
I’ve recorded many videos.
I reference or talk about it in almost all the articles I’ve written for this website.
But I haven’t really touched on the biggest mistake I see people making with the no contact rule.
It’s really easy to get excited when you hear about something like the no contact rule. Many of my clients think it’s the ultimate answer for getting an ex back but it’s not.
It’s a piece of the overall strategy.
Doing it alone won’t win your ex back.
And that’s the biggest mistake I see people making.
The No Contact Rule = A period of time, typically between 21 – 45 days where you ignore your ex on purpose with the intent of making them miss you while at the same time cultivating your personal life.
When I give people that definition they only seem to read the “make your ex miss you” part and forget completely about cultivate their own lives part.
The no contact rule is all about giving you and your ex time to evolve.
Way #3: Utilize Social Media To It’s Fullest
My little made up character of your ex, Bob is like any ex.
He goes through the pendulum of emotions.
From hating you one moment to loving you the next.
One of his most common practices is to check social media.
He never wants you to know he’s spying on you but he is.
There’s any number of reasons for why.
- To make sure you’re as miserable as he is
- To ensure you haven’t found someone else
I did this after I’d go through a breakup.
I’d literally even make it a daily routine for a few weeks.
Just to see.
And it always drove me nuts when there would be something on social media from my ex that showed her having fun.
Misery loves company, after all.
But why would it drive me nuts?
Why would it annoy me?
I think it was because I was relegated to a position where I was on the outside looking in.
Have you ever watched a kid who doesn’t get to play with all the other kids?
He has to watch from a fence or through a window as his or her friends just have a blast.
This is kind of what it’s like when an ex watches you have a great time without them.
They know they can’t say anything but it puts them in this position where they confront what being alone really means.
Way #4: Ruthless Actions And Kind Words
I’ve been doing this for close to seven years now and have coined a lot of terms in my time.
Perhaps none have been as revolutionary as “the ungettable girl” or “guy” for the men out there.
The problem was that I was always touching on the essence of “being ungettable” but never fully knew how to teach people to achieve this mythical status.
As you can see, sometimes it takes years before these ideas can be fully taught.
But today I had an idea.
There are two defining characteristics of someone who is “ungettable.”
Ruthless Actions and Kind Words
Someone who isn’t afraid to do what it takes to get their ex back but is able to have this friendly demeanor while they do it.
The “UG” can be intimidating but not so intimidating that no one wants to even talk with them.
And therein lies the problem with a lot of people. They take the “ruthless actions” too far and are only that.
They forget to be kind.
Think of it like a scale.
Ideally you’d have a perfect balance between ruthless actions and kind words,
The problem I see a lot of times is that the scale always appears to be out of balance.
Now, I think I probably need to expand on what I mean by “ruthless action.”
When I refer to “ruthless actions” I am actually referring to any of the hard decisions you have to make when you try to get your ex back.
- This can be anything from implementing a no contact rule and STAYING in it.
- It can also be ending a conversation early that is going incredibly well.
- Sometimes it’s something as harsh as realizing you have to walk away from your ex for a few months.
Being ruthless with these actions are what usually gets you results but you can’t forget to be kind.
My wife, when we were just dating, once told me she was a sweet bitch.
It weirded me out when I first thought about it.
“Why is she calling herself a bitch?” I thought to myself.
But she was calling herself a sweet bitch.
There’s a difference.
A bitch is someone who you don’t want to be around.
Someone who is ruthless and only that.
A sweet bitch is someone who isn’t afraid to be ruthless when it’s warranted but most of their dynamic is sweet.
They do and say kind things.
It’s ok to be ruthless but don’t forget to be kind.