If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.
I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a specific goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. Me and my team respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)
Now, I know that’s a bit of a shocking statement to make especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.
We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.
What’s our motto?
That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.
Oh… how rude of me.
Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”
Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.
Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?Take Quiz Now
You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.
But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.
So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.
Will Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You Help You Win Him Back?
You are here to learn about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?
If you are then this makes me assume that ultimately you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?
(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)
The thinking goes a little like this,
“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”
So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.
Do you think he will come back?
Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?
Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.
Think of it like a puzzle.
In order to get your ex boyfriend back you need to put the entire puzzle together,
However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.
But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.
Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.
Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,
- You Cheated
- They Cheated
- You Cheated On Each Other
- Long Distance
- Being Blocked
- He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
- If You Slept With Them
- If They Are In The Army
- If You Have A Child Together
- If You Have Been Friend Zoned
- How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
- They Broke Up With You
- You Broke Up With Them
- If You Work With Them
- If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
- If You Just Got Divorced
- Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
- If You Think You Were The Rebound
- If They Were On The Rebound
- What To Do If They Are Married
- What If There Is An Age Gap
- If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
- What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
- On Again/Off Again
But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?
Well, then lets get right to it.
I give you the ultimate guide for making an ex boyfriend miss you.
Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article or you can ask Leia, our support rep at [email protected]
Lets dive in!
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You Have A “Missing” Advantage Already
One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.
Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.
And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.
Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.
So many insights can be derived from them.
Take The Brain Study As An Example…
Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?
In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.
They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.
The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.
The results were shocking.
The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.
So, I guess it’s true what they say.
Love is a drug!
But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?
Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”
The Facebook Creeper Statistic
I have done this.
Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,
“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”
And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.
Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.
Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.
You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.
You realize what that means, right?
Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.
But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.
The Overwhelming Statistics In Your Favor
Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?
Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?
No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.
He could be thinking negative things…
He could be thinking positive things…
We just don’t know.
Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.
But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.
What are my thoughts on this statistic?
Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.
Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.
No one can.
But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.
I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”
Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!
Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”
The Big Advantage That You Have
I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.
What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much
So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?
That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.
Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?
There are a lot of factors involved.
But here is my vision.
Right now your ex, as a default, is thinking about you too much,
Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,
Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?
Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.
The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not
Let’s role play.
Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.
Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””
Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.
So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.
Which one do you think you are more likely to miss?
Man One, right?
Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.
And that brings me to my ultimate point.
Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.
Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.
If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.
So, it works both ways.
The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup
Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.
Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?
This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.
1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.
2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.
3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.
I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.
We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.
When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.
But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.
Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.
Think of it like this.
Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,
“I want that toy!”
You immediately say,
“No, you can’t have that toy.”
Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?
This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.
So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.
Pretty interesting, right?
Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.
The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage
If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.
Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)
“Wait, why is it hard for you?”
Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.
So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.
Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.
Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.
It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,
“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”
It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.
Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?
No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.
Now, take that whatever way you want.
I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.
Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.
Now lets look at the other side of the coin.
The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage
If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.
Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”
And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.
If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.
It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.
You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.
It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.
It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.
I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.
Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.
How to make a man miss you after a breakup!
The “Make Him Miss You” Strategy
I want you to take a look at the graphic below,
Pretty straightforward, right?
“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”
Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.
The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,
1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics
Lets start from the top!
PART ONE: The No Contact Rule
(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please visit Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.
Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)
But why is it such a big theme?
Why do I talk about it so much?
Well that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.
Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.
But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.
Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.
They just said something like,
“Thanks, I got my ex back.”
Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?
Don’t believe me?
Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,
So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.
The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.
But how does it make him miss you?
In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.
The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:
You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.
Sounds simple, right?
The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.
Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.
But you don’t care about that do you?
No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?
Ok, lets tackle that right now.
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
I want you to ask me a question.
The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.
WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .
The number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.
I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.
Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?
Something tells me you wouldn’t.
Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?
Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.
One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”
I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”
What can I say… I dig revenge stories.
Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?
Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,
“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”
But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.
By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.
Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)
Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”
People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.
In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3045302191.html In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.
With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”
Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.
According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.
I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.
My buddies first car is an example.
I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,
Pretty crappy, right?
Here’s the thing.
He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.
In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,
“Why do you like this truck so much?”
His response was simple…
“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”
So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.
The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.
And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.
PART TWO: Social Media Game
(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,
Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.
Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)
Look, here’s the deal.
Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.
Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.
So, why not prepare for that moment?
Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.
How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect
I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.
So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.
Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.
So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.
There was just one problem.
This was her Facebook profile picture,
Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,
That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.
Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.
All the men went wild (myself included.)
She was getting comments like,
Ok, first off… what the fu*k?
Looks like I have to beat some people up.
We have some work to do!
No I am just kidding…
Please don’t take that seriously.
The point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.
So, here is what I am going to do.
I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.
1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture
Lets start with the profile picture change.
The Profile Picture Change
This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.
Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.
Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,
Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.
And then I met my wife….
The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.
Do you see the difference.
This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.
So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.
Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.
The “Fun” Picture
I have a question for you.
What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?
He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.
Don’t believe me?
I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.
“God I hope she is suffering.”
Pretty mean, right?
But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.
So, how can you accomplish this?
Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.
Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,
These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.
Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,
“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”
Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,
“I’m kind of jealous…”
And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.
PART THREE: The Frank Sinatra Effect
(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.
“The best revenge in life is massive success.”
Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?
In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.
What works and what doesn’t work.
So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!
Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.
Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.
It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.
Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.
Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.
It sounds counter intuitive, right?
But maybe not.
Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.
By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,
“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”
Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.
And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.
I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.
Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.
Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect
In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.
When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.
Tactic 1- Get In Shape
There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.
Pretty shallow I know…
Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,
“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”
I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.
So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)
Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.
She never showed up.
During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,
“Hey, are we on for tonight?”
It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.
“Are you there?”
Again no response…
She didn’t want to go on a date with me.
Karma I guess!
Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him
This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.
Just focus on the most important thing, you.
If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.
In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.
I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.
If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.
I like to call it…
“The Holy Trinity”
(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)
You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,
I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?
Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.
Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.
You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.
The intersection where all three meet.
Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,
What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.
Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.
Tactic 3- Social Life
You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either
A. Let the breakup own you.
B. Own the breakup.
I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”
Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.
PART FOUR: Jealousy Tactics
(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.
It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.
Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend
In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.
Example 2- Did I See You?
This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.
If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.”
Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You
I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.
- If he texts you
- If he calls you
- If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
- If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
- If he keeps in touch with your family.
If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.