How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup


If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all. I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. I respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

How To Make Him Miss You (The Complete Steps!)

As I am sure you are already aware, making your ex boyfriend miss you (and potentially want you back) can be a tricky thing to do. It will take discipline, strategy and hard work (and even then you aren’t guaranteed to succeed.) However, I feel I have come up with an awesome way to not only make him miss you but to actually get him chasing you.

There is just one problem, the tactics I talk about are actually a little complicated and very detailed. So, while this page can help you make your ex boyfriend miss you it won’t do it as well as my E-Book does. So, when you get a chance (if you feel like it.) I recommend that you check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO:

My E-Book!

Everyone’s Advantage

roger federer

Before you even start using any “missing” tactics you have a pretty big advantage already. Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much? Oh, but it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

The Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

  1. You can both agree on the breakup and do it mutually.
  2. He can break up with you.
  3. You can break up with him.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup. We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct. Of course, there is one case where this might work as well.

The ONE case where you might not have this advantage.

  • If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

The ONE case where this will work EXTREMELY well.

  • If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

No Contact = “I Miss You”

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please visit Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

no eye contactThroughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme. The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

 You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for one full month. If during that month you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond.

Sounds pretty simple huh? Actually, I would say that this is the toughest part to trying to get your ex back. However, if you do it successfully not only will you improve your chances of potentially putting yourself in a position to get him back but you will make huge strides in making him miss you.

You see, men at their core (I should know because I am one) have some pretty strange thoughts after a breakup but I would say that most guys eventually get back to one core thought “she is going to be the first to contact me.” How do I know this? Because, that is exactly what I thought after a break up I went through. Sure enough, after 3 days of not talking to my ex she contacted me.

Using my example, have you ever stopped and wonder what would have happened if my ex hadn’t contacted me? Let me tell you. My confident claim of “she is going to be the first to contact me” would have turned into “why the &^*% hasn’t she contacted me?” Interesting flip of the switch huh? Soon, that anger of “why hasn’t she contacted me yet?” would cause me to realize just how much I miss having her in my life.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You

(For more information on the different things you can do to make him miss you please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape


There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. I wanted her immediately. I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her.

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

I dont care

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much. Just focus on the most important thing, you. Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and chill for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life


You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.” Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

Tactic 4- Hitting His Emotional Hot Buttons

hot buttons

Look, eventually the no contact rule end is going to end and a time is going to come where you are going to have to communicate with your ex. When you do contact him make sure you do it via a text message. Texting is viewed as non threatening and it will give you the ability to slowly push is emotional hot buttons. I recommend that you check out this guide on how to correctly text message your ex.

Tactic 5- Jealousy Can Be Effective IF Used Correctly


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way. It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

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2,545 Responses to How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
  1. Priya
    December 10, 2014 | 3:28 am

    My bf of 2 years broke up with me recently. I’m devastated. We are both in stressful graduate programs and he has the added stress of family issues. He said he saw himself marrying me but that he was stressed and he didn’t want to lean on me(he grew emotionally distant). He did/said this once before and two or three days later he contacted me to comfort him and we got back together that same day. If he attempts to follow this pattern again, should I ignore him? Should I make allowances since he is going through a tough time? Should I make him wait longer this time to prevent this from occurring again? Ultimately, I do love him and want to be with him.

  2. Sydney
    December 10, 2014 | 2:46 am

    Hi, my bf and me were dating for 3 months, texting non stop, snapping, and other stuff we we’re unseperatedable, during school hed walk me to class and we’d do everything together. Me and him were like magnets.Then for four days I haven’t got anything from him this was like 2 months in and he had pneumonia and was in the hospital, he didn’t tell me till after words.. After that he realy wasn’t texting me or anything… And when I’d see him at school he’d act normal.. But then there were days were he would be snapping other people and he wouldn’t open mine… Or he wouldn’t awnser my texts… So then like 2 days after out 3rd month he didn’t see me till the period I had him in.. Which is see him before evey period… Now I don’t see him till my 6th period class! So that day when I saw him he explained to me.. How we don’t talk like we ust to.. And of how our convos arnt long and stuff.. And he said he didn’t wanna hurt me and how I was a sweet, awesome girl. And how he really really really likes me still… And I had nothing to say that day and we agreed on a time off from our relationship which he also agreed we’d still be friends.. Which he doesn’t talk or any thing to me.. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore.. And I here from my friends how he first was like depressed in classes then he came alive after a few days now he’s like better u can say and talking o people.. later I confronted him and I told him like we’re are we! We don’t talk, text, or anything with us.. And he said I know and he was just barly talking to me too.. And I even told him of how he was saying about our convos I told him how can we talk if u don’t awnser me and he’s like ️ya I know and I’m sorry.. and he was keeping more feeling in and I got some to come out.. Both of his parents are divorced and there fighting for full custody of him and he said if his dad wins he’s gotta live with him and he said if his mom wins he’s gotta move to Colorado which he said that’s why he’s been down and not talking and why he didn’t wanna get any more serious with me cause ️ya… After I thought about it it made no sence cause usually when u think about it most ppl even if it was happening to me id spend every moment with them… And he said he didn’t wanna get serious with me cause of that and he said he’d rather dinner then later!! And yea after this we both agreed to the breakup and which we weren’t happy with but agreed to it.. Which I regret to but I hope for the best I miss him terribly and have my days were im good and just terrible days… And I just wonder if he misses me.. Or our memories.. Cause I know I do… And we don’t even talk anymore… But I see he’s been talking to other girls… And I don’t know anymore.. I’d love to be with him again just I don’t know what would happen or his next exuste to be to break my heart again… And I just don’t know what he wants or anything.. Or if he feels the same… And thanks for listening!

  3. yena
    December 9, 2014 | 4:06 am

    Hello…m in great trouble…me nd my bf were in relationship from 5years…we both were in long distance relarionship..nd starting we meet only 1time in year..we were together from june 2013..nd we met every day…but suddenly through accident i became bf knew it very well..i was not able to bear all this..i was very sad..because of my life changed…i cried many times infront of my bf..he motivated me..not to cry like things got happen in my life..he block me from everywhere from whatsapp fb..all..he told me that..he will never marry me..because his parents will not agree..his brother had love marraige
    .but that girl left him…beacause of some issues..nd now..he is going to take
    divorse..with that girl…his brother is drugist..nd everythng is not good in his family…in bf told me to give him sometime to think..he blocked me…at that time..u was ill..nd only i wanted his support in my life..beacuse i was i pain…bt he never called me..he hardly rply me once when i message him 100times…nd in october he tell me he never love me anymore..he will marry with his parents choice..nd also his parents find a girl for him..he told me to forget him..he will never come back to me..whatever i do..he is telling that..plz help me..plz plz..m dying..nd english is poor..

    • admin
      December 9, 2014 | 1:34 pm

      Did you read the LDR guide?

  4. Jorxan
    December 9, 2014 | 2:27 am

    I was with a guy for about a year and a half but he would always go back and forth every couple months about if he wanted to be together or not and he’d leave me waiting for him to make up his mind and he would always decide to stay together. But during those times he wouldn’t know what he wanted he would talk to other girls and I would find out about it later and flip out and he’d start crying and begging me not to leave him and I wouldnt. But in July he broke up with me and it was really hard, he’s not my first serious relationship but I’m his. I would ignore him and hang out with other guys and I hung out with my ex boyfriend before this one one night and something happened with us. Then I saw that my recent ex boyfriend was in the hospital so I texted him and said hope you’re okay and he started to talk to me then and then he decided he wanted to get back together about a month after he broke up with me. He was saying how much he missed me and how much he messed up by talking to those other girls. He asked me if I slept with my ex and I told him no because I know he wouldn’t get back together with me. But about a month ago he asked me again and I told him the truth and he completely freaked out. He told me he would be able to move passed it though but about a week ago he ended things again and said that he’s not able to get over what I did and that we can’t keep fighting like we were and getting on each others nerves. Well since we’ve been broken up, and it’s only been a week or so, he’s been texting me everyday or favoriting my tweets on Twitter. He’ll text me about me tweets because he thinks they’re about my ex. He’ll always text me and tell me I’m better than that to be hanging out with him and stuff like that but today I asked why he was so interested in my life now and he said because I would ignore him and he’d try to talk to me and stuff like that but I didn’t understand why he was still texting me and everything after he broke up with me? What should I do to get him back because I still do want to be with him and I still do love him.

  5. Ella
    December 8, 2014 | 9:44 pm

    I went out with my boyfriend for about 5 months. In the very beginning he gave me disclaimers. He told me that he will be very busy in the future (which is now). He also said he doesn’t believe in titles because he doesn’t want me to expect things from him. So he said we r dating “exclusively”. I met his friends his sister. His friends knew he was dating me and I had a feeling that he likes to take me out with his friends because they think I’m hot/pretty. But I don’t think that I’m that hot. So everything was AMAZING until 3 months later, he became cold to me because of work transition and stuffs. To be honest, I don’t really know why but obviously he was less interested in me. In the first three months, he brought me to places and he made time to take me on vacation. No one has ever done that for me before. I told myself not to fall for this guy but I couldn’t control my feeling. So I did. Then last month he went back to his country for 2 weeks. Before he came back to NYC, he told me he couldn’t see me for a week after he gets back. I was very disappointed because I wasnt the first person that he wants to see when he is back but I didn’t tell him. He didn’t call or FaceTime me after he was back. Then two days before I told him to call me because I miss him and I want to hear his voice. We were talking and he told me he is really busy with work. He said he put family and work before me. And he doesn’t have time for me. I didn’t really force him to see me or even ask him to see me but he said he felt guilty when he doesn’t see me. He doesn’t want to commit because he doesn’t want to be control by his emotions. He wants to have a career before he has a relationship. We were just talking and he brought it up that since he can’t see us going further, we should break up because it is the wrong timing of his life. But at the same time, he kept telling me that he misses me and he really likes me. I don’t know if that is his excuse. I did not disagree to his breakup because I feel like if he doesn’t want to contribute to this, I cannot go on alone. Now I really like this guy and maybe at one point I loved him but he told me I shouldn’t and I should concentrate on my school work( college). I don’t really know what to do. I also kept a diary about him telling all my feelings about our relationship ever since we started dating. Every time when I miss him or wanted to express my sad feelings, I didn’t go to him, I just wrote in my diary. The first 3 months were sweet and it started to become bitter and sour when he became cold to me. That breakup night we talked for the first two hours and I cried to him for 1 hour. It was also the longest talk that we ever had. He didn’t hang up because he said he was waiting for me to feel a little better. He told me we are still friends and I shouldn’t be sad because we can still see each other. After I hung up the phone he texted me a lot trying to comfort me. I sent him my diary via email. And the next day he realized how much he hurt me. He texted me a lot and I told him not to be sorry. To be honest, I don’t know why we broke up. I told him that if he doesn’t like me anymore, then we should breakup but he kept on telling me he likes me. So I like him and he likes me. I really wanted to see him last night therefore I asked him out but he had to work. So I wanted to end the conversation but he kept on going. I’m not sure if I want him back but I know I’ll be happy if we can continue what we had. I don’t know what to do anymore… But all I know is I really like him and if we could, I really want to be with him. He made me really happy over the summer and I miss it. But I don’t want to ask him back because I’m afraid to hear his rejection. And what if he says yes?… I’m really confused…

    • admin
      December 9, 2014 | 1:23 pm

      Well, he did give you those disclaimers.

      Have you attempted NC yet?

  6. vanillasky
    December 8, 2014 | 3:24 pm

    hi chris,
    i have a question other than my personal situation. You always say that if an ex bf does not contact us while on NC it shows that he is being stubborn. But isn’t there a case where he broke up with the girl and doesn’t care about her, so he won’t contact her ever again. Won’t men ever get done with the relationship for good. If that’s the case, it makes us seem desperate to contact them again and feeds their ego, wouldn’t it?

  7. Victoria
    December 5, 2014 | 3:09 am

    I broke off with my ex early April this year. But due to us staying together he needs time to sort out and move out. During these times, he try to convince me to get back to him but of course i stick to my decision. The main reason for not getting back together is because even it hurts me very badly to breakup with him, i caught him flirting and spending most of his time with his girl colleague 2 years ago. I did not know how far the relationship went but there is definately something going on. On 1st December 2014, he finally moved. Before he leave, he left a note saying he will always love me regardless the distance. But he hasn’t text me at all since then. And to make it worst, I found out that he has been texting this hot girl every now and then and calling her all dear and all. I can be totally fine 1 minute and crumple into pieces in another. I always believe when a guy truely loves a woman, they will not cheat or do anything to hurt the woman. Am i right to say so?

    All my friends are telling me he is a jerk but sometimes the matter of the heart is so hard to control. I can’t just say Stop loving him and my hearts stop loving him.

    I just curious did he even think of me at all. Did he even miss me? Is he faking to be nice to me just to keep me as a backup in case things don’t work out with this new person? What would your point of view on this?

    • admin
      December 8, 2014 | 12:41 pm

      I agree, if a man loves a woman they won’t cheat or do anything that hurts the woman too much (every one gets hurt every once in a while since we as humans are pretty fragile creatures.)

      I am sure he thinks of you.

      Unfortunately, he may be being nice to you for that reason but it’s 50/50. Maybe he is just a nice person.

      • Victoria
        December 9, 2014 | 3:32 am

        Thank You for your reply. I dreamt about him yesterday. I dream he came back and we went supper like before he moved. I woke up in shock cause it looks so real and i thought it is real. Just to wake up in dissapointment. I really miss him a lot but I think its all 1 sided. I just doesn’t like to feel being abandoned and be forgotten so easily. I think its time for me to pick myself and move on. Hopefully i will find someone that is worth it.

        Thank You :)

  8. kk
    December 5, 2014 | 2:56 am

    After the break up we didn’t contact each other at all. We didn’t break up peacefully but I guess both of us were exhausted. After three months, he called me once to chat upon trivial things for ard half an hour. He did say ‘find me when you are free’ by the end but I didn’t. After all we didn’t contact each other again. I still love him but I’m afraid. I’ve heard that he had a girlfriend very soon after our breakup but I’m not sure about that. Can you give me some advice? x

    • admin
      December 8, 2014 | 12:38 pm

      Did you ever do the no contact rule I recommended on this site?

  9. donna
    December 5, 2014 | 12:51 am

    Me and my ex have been broken up for almost 2 months in that time he has called me twice on his own and text back two the happy birthday text. phone call conversation consisted of he asked how I was doing what I’ve been up to and I said I was good the same old thing and I asked how he was doing he said he was Sick. I said hope you feel better. yes I still have those stuff I said yes he said good because you started to talk to this girl that he was talking to towards the end of our relationship and they lasted about a month and he said that he’s done talking with Aries done messing with her she said that if she tries to come up to my apartment to ask for his stuff back tell her no I said okay and I hope you feel better he says I’ll call you tomorrow so we can talk but he never called and then when I text him happy birthday he said thanks babe with a :-) not sure what is going on in his mind I do miss them I just don’t know what to do I guess

    • admin
      December 8, 2014 | 12:33 pm

      KHave you engaged him further than just the happy birthday text that you shouldn’t have sent if you were in nc haha?

  10. Terry
    December 3, 2014 | 11:24 pm

    I need a brutally honest response please. I’ve been here before. Went thru the 30 days no contact and then slowly me n the ex began talking again. While we didn’t make things official, we were hanging around each other’s families, taking trips overseas, attending work functions together etc. We were very much a couple. This happened for 9 months. Now after seeing a photo of him with a woman and questioning him, he tells me he met someone 2 months ago and they are now in a physical relationship. She even sleeps over. He said he didn’t plan it, it just happened but he doesn’t want to lose me from his life. Even though he is sleeping with her, he is still making plans with me. He said he just isn’t ready to settle down right now and that I am pressuring him to do such. Will a longer NC period work or should I just forget about him completely?

    I hope u or anyone can help me with my dilemma. Thanks

    • Terry
      December 3, 2014 | 11:30 pm

      Oh…In this 9 since we started talking again I never once pressured him to be more. I figured we would eventually get there as things were going so well. The first intense conversation we had was the one about the photo when the truth finally came out which totally blindsided me. I honestly did not see that coming due to how good I perceived things to be.

      I love him and still see him in my future which is why I am so confused right now.

    • admin
      December 4, 2014 | 2:09 am

      I think he is a scumbag who used you.

      NC can be effective but he needs a total personality change or paradigm shift to commit to you long term.

      That’s as brutally honest as I can be.

      • Terry
        December 4, 2014 | 8:55 pm

        Thank you very much. I appreciate your honesty.

  11. Abby
    December 3, 2014 | 8:23 pm

    My ex and I have been going back and forth since June. We’ve tried giving each other a break but kept failing until finally I hurt his feelings last week. I basically said since he hurt me I wanted to hurt him, and then I told him that I made out with some guy at a bar after the break up. So I didn’t cheat on him. I’d say it was a month or 2 after the break up. But now he doesn’t want to talk to me. So I guess NC is in place, but he initiated it. Do you think he’ll try talking to me again? :/

    • Abby
      December 3, 2014 | 8:28 pm

      ** he hurt me during the relationship by making me feel unimportant. He always put his friends first and stayed out until 5am with them but could barely stay up past 10 with me.

      After the breakup, he hurt me by changing his mind so frequently. Ex-bf: “i miss you…we should wait a little bit…i think I love you…we should wait a little bit…i do love you…maybe we should wait longer…i feel incomplete and empty without you…let’s wait a little longer” and I’m not exaggerating. He said those things every couple weeks. It was draining

    • admin
      December 4, 2014 | 2:06 am

      How long has it been in place?

      • Abby
        December 4, 2014 | 2:51 am

        About a week

  12. elisha
    December 3, 2014 | 4:50 am

    Hey, me and my bf haven’t been getting on well since we came back off holidaywe have been togather for 2 years for the past 3 weeks been arguing and on Thursday last week we split up over silly things and one min he’s making me feel like we should still be together and the next he doesn’t want to speck to me I have been trying my best to ignore him I just don’t know what to do I’m not going to talk to him till Saturday because we both want to do something I just need advice what I can do to try and get him back might seem simple but he is stubborn like me in this type of situation of relationship

    • admin
      December 3, 2014 | 5:11 pm

      Go into NC. Don’t put up with his jekyl hyde personality at this moment.

  13. k
    December 2, 2014 | 11:20 pm

    what should i do if even after he broke up he still wants us to see eachother? he still texts me from time to time but i answer normally a little bit dry.

    • admin
      December 3, 2014 | 5:00 pm

      Well, if you are in NC then you ignore him until the NC is completed.

      It is a good sign that he wants to see you though i’d think.

  14. sarah
    December 2, 2014 | 10:34 pm


    my boyfriend and i were together for a year, and then he broke up with my before i went abroad my junior year. when i came back, he came back into my life begging for me back. it happened slowly and he did everythign great and we were happy for 6 months. during the summer i was dealing with a lot of stress including family and work and i found to be very pressured about the relationship being so great and perfect. i was very anxious constantly and began to resent him for feeling like he was going to break up with me again like the summer before before i left for school. i needed a break and time but i was too afraid to say it and lose him, so i just acted very distant, off, standoffish, emotional, and picked fights. it got very messy and he said he needed a break. i was too anxious about it that i gave him a stupid ultimatum and he said he was going to call me any and break up with me. he called me over the phone very harshly and broke up with me. i never did NC entirely, i contacted him after about 2 weeks upset about something. i will admit, i was constantly upset about something over the course of the last few months of summer and it drove him away entirely. he called me eventually and checked in on me and it was a good conversation. but after, i was so out of whack and angry that he wouldnt take me back that i told him to never speak to me again. he said it was rash and he needed time. i let more time pass and i told him again out of anger that i was moving on- i didnt mean it though. it was an absolute mess. he completely withdrew contact and stopped talking to me. i then saw him in october in person and i looked terrible- crying and pretty much confessing that iw as in a very upset place and angry and i apologized for being a distant and bad girlfriend over the last few months but that thigns could be different and i loved him. i admitted that i was struggling and dealing with a lot losing him and feeling like i lost a memeber of my family. i seemed extrmely desperate. even after that i called him saying this made no sense all this stuff. entirely embarassed myself. im never like this but for some reason i am just so shattered over him. i think he lined up another girl after the breakup and has been talking to her so i guess i just want to know if there really is no shot at this ever again. he told me to move on, but i do know he really did love me and does care about me but the relationship caused him too much stress. its just unfortunate. ultimately do i have to just give up? my gut says yes and ive done everythng i could including making myself look like a desperate depressed idiot but we were so close for so long its sad to let it go. does a guy definitely always move on? he said he just needed time and was still confused in late september and its now the beginning of december. i think its really over and hes moved on but i just wish more than anything he hasnt, i also think the image of myself has been tainted a lot which sucks.

    i havent contacted him since the second week of november and ive finally calmed down and am not so emotional/impulsive/anxious.


    • admin
      December 3, 2014 | 4:57 pm

      No clearly guys don’t always move on.

      Otherwise this site wouldn’t exist.

  15. Hema
    November 29, 2014 | 5:03 am

    I am in a tough and weird situation. Really feeling helpless and lonely. Can u help me ??

    • admin
      December 1, 2014 | 3:31 pm


      You have to give me more than that to go on though.

    • Hema
      December 3, 2014 | 3:01 am

      Hmmm, I am married and have a 1.5 yrs old baby boy. (you will come to know why i told you about my personal by end of reading my story) .

      I happen to meet this person in office who happens to join my team 3.5 yrs back, i was his mentor and moulded him into a very nice employee and of course yes he won many awards as well. we happen to just go for breaks together, so far only twice we went out for lunch. Even this person is married and has 2 yr daughter. We both fell in love with each other and slowly we went physical. I have never been to his house coz he never invited, but whenever we have to go physical he will come to my house. So lately i happen to see his facebook and gmail account as he shares his passwords with me and visa versa and found something disturbing. There were some obscene pictures of three females, i meant totally naked pictures of those girls which they have sent on his request and few intimate talks with one of the girls who happens to be a mutual friend of him and his wife. The talks were really bad about sex etc etc.. I confronted him and he rather than reply to what i asked started abusing me with swear words (B*, F*, W*, CHEAP etc etc ) and questioned that how can i check his personal stuffs, but he never answered to wat i asked. He just said i know those girls much before you came into my life and i will F* them and its none of my business. Then he stopped speaking to me for about a week though i kept pleading that lets patch up, i forgive U but he still kept silently emotionally blackmailing that he will leave me if i behave clever. So eventually we patched back again.
      just about 2 months back my husband joined the same company where I am working and i didn’t feel its important to tell my friend, but then one day while i was talking to one of my friend this guy saw me and questioned that why i am talking to somebody and to have some self respect. Though i was talking work related, but he didnt like me talking to somebody. The same day evening I went to my husband to give earphones my friend saw that and started abusing that I know soo many guys on the floor and i roam around with them (which i dont). I told him its my husband to whom i went to give earphones. I dont know where things went wrong, he stopped speaking to me and upon me asking Y is he behaving like this, he replied that I am very cheap that went around many people in office to find a job for my husband and I am very clever and he hates me from bottom of his heart. He started abusing with all shitty words that you can think off and said that i have a very cheap character and that as long as my husband is in this company he will not talk to me ever and that he is done with this relationship.

      Though always he was at fault i have forgiven him, coz more than the faults i have valued the relationship, i have let go all the nightmares i had with his behavior and his slangs on me. By not talking to me i feel he is emotionally blackmailing me that he will cut this relationship and has also said that This relationship is over and not to act smart with him. He said that i am very cunning which i dont understand till date why. I have a wonderful cute little family and considered him as a part of my family, But when he showed his true colors I am not able to digest that.

      ** I HAVE helped him financially a lot, was there in his tough situations. I was the one who carved him to perfection in this company, coz its not easy to work in this company without being clever and working smart. He was to quit the company within one month of joining, i was the one who convinced and consoled him in the tougher times here to fight and win than being called a coward. **
      Though he is a nightmare in my life, but i Just dont know why I still want him back. I feel lonely and hopeless and helpless without him in my life. Let me make this clear, i have never asked him for any help throughout this life with him for 3.5 yrs.
      Awaiting your reply at the earliest.

      • Hema
        December 3, 2014 | 5:10 am

        by the way, he blocked me on the office Lync messenger, on facebook, he blocked my phone number, all i can do is watsapp and message :( .. is he trying to be a narcissist, selfish, self centered, never actually valued this relationship or coz every-time we fight this silent treatment emotional abuse is what he does.. I used to keep telling him he is my strength and weakness, is he taking advantage of that. If i do a NC will he ever think to come back to me ?? Oh god i am soo lost..

      • admin
        December 3, 2014 | 5:09 pm

        You cheated on your husband with this person?

        Why not try to work things out with your husband… the person that you married as opposed to trying to get this guy back who is clearly cheating on his wife and on you.

        • Hema
          December 4, 2014 | 2:39 am

          There are absolutely no conflicts in my marriage life. Don’t know why i have fallen for this person. Not knowing where to go to seek help, i came to this forum .. Can you point out few things about this guy which can create hatred in me towards him .. Did this guy ever valued our so called friendship ??

          • admin
            December 4, 2014 | 1:27 pm

            No he valued your ability to sleep with him.

            Your husband has no idea about you two at all…

            • Hema
              December 5, 2014 | 7:37 am
  16. Lullaby
    November 28, 2014 | 6:49 pm

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2years now. And right now he hasnt been speaking to me or answering my phone calls or my texts even when i try to contact him on facebook, he just ignores me completely. The reason is so stupid, we didnt even have an argument i just didnt talk to him for a day (neither did he) because i was upset and hurt because of something he had said to me. And now it frustrates me so much because i didnt do anything, and because he just wont talk to me. He started being all active on facebook, posting pictures, and quotes.. And i dont even know if this means we are over or is it that he just needs space. Eitherway it hurts me so much that he could do this, after all the times i forgave him for all his mistakes. Deep down i love him too much to let him go, he is my first love , my first everything. Im 21 and he is 23. But i have nothing to do since he won’t answer me. And just a week before he was saying how much he loves me and plans to get married. Im really devastated and need help because im afraid that its over.. I don’t like to be played like this but at the same time i love him too much to imagine him gone. Please help me

    • admin
      December 1, 2014 | 3:19 pm

      Wait, he hasn’t broken up with you yet? He’s just gone quiet?

  17. C
    November 27, 2014 | 9:24 pm

    My boyfriend of over two years just broke things off with me yesterday. A few months ago we had a huge fight in which he told me that he wasn’t sure about his feelings anymore. He broke down sobbing like I have never seen from him before, as he is a generally calm and collected person. I said some very hurtful things in response to his uncertainty such as “you’ll never find anyone who will make you happy like I make you happy” and things of the sort. After this fight, we decided to work on things and try to be happy. I thought we were happy. We went out together and with mutual friends and I stayed over at his place 3-4 times a week and it was completely amazing. A few days ago, I mentioned the fact that I’m transferring colleges (no more than an hour away) and suggested that we come up with a plan so both of us are happy. He flipped out and said that I shouldn’t worry about things 9 months in advance because so many things can change in that period of time. This is what made me think that something was seriously wrong. After a few days of very minimal contact, I told him to come over so we could talk things out. We ended up going for a drive in which I apologized for being so insensitive to his feelings and not appreciating what we had by focusing on the future. He appreciated my apology but said that his heart wasn’t 100% invested in our relationship anymore and he just didn’t see a future with us together but that he still loves me and cares about me more than anyone in the world. He also reminded me that I am his best friend and no one could replace me. However, he also said that since he keeps having these feelings of doubt with our relationship, we can’t ever get back together because he doesn’t want to put me through this emotional roller coaster and he doesn’t want to go through it himself. I am going to make sure that I don’t make any contact for at least a month, but I’m not sure if that’ll be enough to win him back. What we had was absolutely amazing. He is the only person in the entire world I can completely be myself around and the thought of life without him, especially in a romantic sense, makes me feel sick. Before we were ever together, we were best friends. I would give anything to build a future with him because I cannot see myself with anyone else. Is there any other advice you can give me besides the no contact rule? I am going to listen to the rule, but I’m just not sure if it’ll be enough.

    • admin
      November 28, 2014 | 3:25 pm

      Yes, just focus on rebuilding rapport and friendship with him first.

      • C
        November 29, 2014 | 1:11 am

        Thank you for the advice. How would you recommend I go about doing this?

  18. Jamie
    November 26, 2014 | 8:07 pm

    In February of this year I started seeing a guy. He was married for 17 years, but had been separated from her for a little over a year at that point. The divorce papers have been filed, it just isn’t final. We quickly became the best of friends. We texted all day every day while we were both at work, then there was typically a phone call most evenings after work. We did pretty much everything together. There was a lot of touching, hugging, kissing, holding hands, we told each other we loved the other, but we never got “intimate” . In July, there were several events that put him in face to face contact with his ex, (i.e. wedding, one of their children was in a car wreck, and a hospital visit) and I started to notice a change his his demeanor. Now I don’t think for a second that he wants her back, however he does still have a lot of anger towards her. Late August, he was telling me about a friend of his was breaking up with his girlfriend and that how with the changing of the seasons it seems to happen a lot. A few days later, we went out to dinner to “talk”. After dinner was over, he asked me what I thought he was going to say, and I told him I was thinking he was going to say it’s over. He told me that no it’s not over, but he “didn’t have the feelings about me that a boyfriend should have for his girlfriend”. He told me he wasn’t ready for a full-blown relationship, and that it wasn’t me, it was him. He asked that we stay friends, but said that he understood if I couldn’t. We parted ways with a hug, and I told him I’d do some thinking and let him know. After a few hours and a visit to my best girlfriends house, I called him and talked to him. I told him that I needed a few days, but I did not want to lose our friendship. So after about a week, we started talking and hanging out together again. After a couple of weeks, we were basically back to the same relationship we had prior to the “break-up” only without the kissing, holding hands and telling each other we loved them. There was a conversation we had where he was telling me his ex had been texting and calling him wanting to know if there was a chance they could ever reconcile and he told her absolutely not, but he said “the way we ended things there’s a chance that we could end up back together.” Also, we were out with another couple one night, and they were dancing and laughing and having a good time and he said “look at them, they’ve got it, it’s there, but then again we’ve got it too. We’ve been touching since we got here.” And we had…he had rubbed my arm, my leg and our arms or some part of our bodies had been touching the whole time. But mixed in with all of these signals was him insisting that we’re “just friends”. The mixed signals had my head spinning. Finally, on November 9th, I told him I couldn’t do this anymore, and that I loved him too much to be “just friends”. His response was “I understand. I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone” He said “It is what it is and I understand this hurts you. You’re a very dear friend to me, but if being my friend is something you can’t be then I’ll let you go. I wish you the best, and I hope you find what you need to make you happy. I’m looking for my happiness also and it’s taking us down different roads.” He told me again that he didn’t have “those feelings” about us. The next day I had told him that I would bring his lunch to him at work, and he said I didn’t have to do that, but I told him that I wanted to be friends, and he said “I want to be very clear, I like being friends. I don’t want anything else. If that’s too much then I’ll walk away. I feel we need a big break so you get you fixed.” I told him that I liked us being friends, but he was right that I needed to fix the part of me that was hurt. I said “I hope you enjoy your lunch.” He said “Thank you. Goodbye. Take care.” We haven’t had any contact for over 2 weeks now. This man is definitely the love of my life, and I don’t believe that there are 2 people more suited to be together than he and I. Is there any hope? Should I just forget about him and try to find someone else? Will he ever wake up and realize what he’s lost? I’m still so torn between holding on to hope and letting go.

    • admin
      November 28, 2014 | 3:08 pm

      So, you two have been in NC for 2 weeks.

      Why do you believe that you two are meant to be together?

      • Jamie
        December 1, 2014 | 4:16 pm

        Correct, we have had NC for over 2 weeks. I think we are meant to be together because it is different from any other relationship I’ve ever been in. It fits. It feels right. There was never any fighting or arguing. We were both adult enough to agree to disagree. I love him like I’ve never loved another, and I’ve been married twice. It’s hard to explain, but I just know.

        • admin
          December 2, 2014 | 2:28 pm

          Then fight for him.

  19. SPD
    November 26, 2014 | 5:01 am


    I have a long story but i really want you to know so that you can help me have him back. We dated for more than 3 years. There were many ups and downs, he was crazzy for me initially like all men are, then he started taking me for granted. In this span, i became very emotionally dependent on him. for each thing, i used to see him. yes he loved me but i never saw his social acceptance for me, may be coz i am chubby. We stayed together for a year and told our parents that we want to marry. Our parents matched our profiles and it was known that there is some problem with my stars and he might die, or stay ill if we go ahead. i never believed in all this and thought even he wont.

    He never accepted that he believed. even after this, he gave me assurance that we would stay seperate and be happy, we do this do that and he had a lot many plans. with time, he became silent. never used to talk abt future. and i like a fool always thought he will be with me. we fought a lot, he told me his parents are not agreeing on this relationship. I made him the center of my life, my world my everything, he took me for granted big time. i knw he loved me but i didnt see that madness which was there initially. he never came to meet my parents when he knew my parents loved him. one more thing, he never tried to create any rapport between me and his parents, his mom was strict. may be she wanted a rich daughter in law. his parents had a love marriage and they werent agreeing to ours. my guy could never fight for me or it was a family pressure or even he had certain expectations from his partner. i am in a mess and have lost confidence. i really love him. i know his determination but he did not show this while having me in his life. why??????

    last week, i met him and he told me he is getting engaged. my heart broke and i am shattered. he cried and said a sorry. he finished me completely. please help me!! i have loved him and love him with all my heart n soul.

    this in India, and we follow strict traditions, once the engagement happens, families become very protective. but i still hope he would come back or i am just trying to console myself. my parents, friends have asked me to move on and have started hating him.

    please help!
    something is killing me from inside day by day. please do something.


  20. Jess
    November 25, 2014 | 11:58 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago after his friends had gone on holiday and he was unable to go it wasn’t my fault but he took it out on me and finished me over text I went round to his house to talk things though and he made me leave his house and started shouting at me I didn’t contact him for a couple of days after and he had gone out with his friends drinking and text me when he was abit drunk just saying ‘I love you’ I didn’t know what to say back becuase I was in that much shock so I asked him to take me back he replied with ‘we don’t work anymore’ so I asked him not to contact me as he was messing with my head his replie being ‘I can’t help contacting you’ I sent him a long meaningful paragraph back and he never replied a few weeks went by and one night he messaged me again ‘saying don’t think I don’t miss you’ I didn’t reply till the weekend after when I had had a drink and I told him I missed him too but he never responded again so that was that and I was getting on with things and then about 2 weeks ago he started favorating my tweets on twitter and unblocked me on Facebook and text me just saying my name so I ignored that and the he inboxed me on Facebook telling me that he had to tell me that he hadent moved on and he missed me so much. He also text me best friends saying something along the lines of ‘what do I actually do I miss her like crazy’ I replyed to the inbox and told him we couldn’t be friends becuase he had been so nasty, I don’t wana be his friend I want him back so my friend had texting him back asking if he wanted me back and he just put ‘I miss her and it sucks we can’t be friends’ she then told him I wouldn’t be friends with him bacause I was still inlove with him and he never replied to her he also started ignoring me again and I haven’t heard anything back since then. I don’t no what he’s playing at. I was starting to do okay and then it’s just like he’s come and kicked me back down again. Please help me understand what’s going on in his head :(

    • admin
      November 26, 2014 | 3:05 pm

      Have you started NC yet?

      • Jess
        November 26, 2014 | 11:35 pm

        Yes I haven’t contacted him since the last time he contacted me and before that we’d had no contact for about 3 weeks only the ‘don’t think I don’t miss you’ text he was speaking to my brother the other day as he bumped in to him I don’t understand why he’s still in contact with my family and not me

  21. Ashlee
    November 18, 2014 | 3:58 am

    My ex and I had been dating for about 2 years, we actually lived together for 9 months of that and here recently I had moved 3 hours away and in a couple of months I will be moving back to the area he lives in for college. (It’s a long story) well we promised we would make this long distance relationship work since I would be back in 3 months anyway.. Well 3 days ago out of no where my ex broke up with me on the phone and said that he loves me but doesn’t feel the same about me anymore and hasn’t for awhile and I’ve only been gone for a month. I tried everything I could do to be with him and he said he doesn’t feel the same or like he got anything out of our relationship. I don’t know what to do and feel so hurt and lost because we had our whole future planned. Will he even come back if I do the no contact rule or is it even worth the worry. It’s just that I had my whole future planned out and to move back down there with him and he broke up with me and doesn’t even seem to care.

    • m
      November 24, 2014 | 10:29 pm

      I hAve the same problem almost but more complicated

  22. anonymous
    November 18, 2014 | 1:58 am

    My now ex fiance proposed weeks before i moved over seas for work..we had agreed that i try save then we go finalize our traditional marriage and proceed to either church or civil wedding..the first one year was great but he changed after 1 and 1/2..he became abusive..rude he’d never call in the name of he now on postpaid and it can’t make international calls (lie) forward .i never gave up and few months ago he started ignorinng me whenever i was sick… last have week i became so isi and i told him he started ignoring my calls and he even told me we can’t talk.he’s with his colleagues..i just decided to let go..i know he thinks i will still go back coz,i

  23. Laura
    November 4, 2014 | 1:26 am

    My boyfriend and I had been together for over 2 1/2 years. Everything seemed to be going good. People found it strange but we never once argued. Yes we had our differences but we managed to always communicate. He has a son as do I from previous relationships and they are the same age. All this time they have seen each other as brothers. So many things we both have gone through but we were always by each others side. About over a year ago he decided to go into the refineries to work and earn more to provide for us and start working on building our future together. I supported his decision and we had so many plans going for each other. Every time he was away working I do admit it was difficult, but when he would come back we were so excited to see each other. This past summer we even took our kids to Disney which was a great experience to see that we can do things as a family, and talked about having children together. Everything seemed great! Late September he was assigned a new project and he had to leave out of state. We would talk and text. Tell each other how much we missed each other. Until out of no where he sent me a text message while I was at work telling me, “I’m sorry but I can’t do a long distance relationship anymore. I still have more work to do and I will be away longer. I think we need to focus on ourselves.” That tore me apart and I honestly was in shock. He called me later on that night to talk about the message and I tried to talk to him like we always do but I didn’t get anywhere. I was upset and I have to admit the call did not end well. My question to you is did I ruin any chances of us ever talking again? I do wonder if he thinks about me and my son. I do love him. What do I do?

    • Laura
      November 4, 2014 | 1:27 am

      He sent me the text message on Oct. 23rd. It’s going on two weeks since we last talked.

    • admin
      November 20, 2014 | 3:07 pm

      The LDR… was it permanent or just for a short time?

      • Laura
        November 21, 2014 | 5:59 pm

        Well according to him when he took it upon himself to make this decision it was only a month, and apparently he was going to be away longer. In the past we had been apart for 2 even 3 months and I just don’t understand why this time he says he couldn’t deal with it knowing from day one this was going to happen when you work with the refineries. The 30 days not speaking to each other is approaching within the next wk. What do I do? So you think I should even bother?

        • Laura
          November 21, 2014 | 6:01 pm

          This is the first time we have gone through this. So I really don’t know if it’s permanent or not. I would greatly appreciate your input.

        • admin
          November 24, 2014 | 4:08 pm

          I am not sure I buy his reasoning either…

          I think you should bother since you have already started the process. Do you have a text message prepared for him?

          • Laura
            December 5, 2014 | 7:58 pm

            No I do not have a text message prepared for him. He never explained to me his reasons just that and he made it seem he was going to be away longer than what he said only to find out that he has been here in town for over a wk. Of course he hasn’t called nor messaged me. So what do I do? Should I move on and continue the healing process or do I even bother wasting my time with him?

            • admin
              December 8, 2014 | 12:42 pm

              Ok, lets prepare a message from him then since youve come this far.

  24. Laura
    November 4, 2014 | 1:10 am

    My bf broke up with me b/c he said he’s not comfortable coming over anymore and he’s not enjoying my company the fight started mainly b/c I told him he’s changed he called me to break up and form that night to the next morning on the phone & texts we said some horrible things to each other he keep texting to me that I was mean & ugly as a response to my texts …. It’s been 2 weeks since our break up and he has called every second day to see how I’m doing and that’s because I hurt my knee just before the break up every time he has called I answered and he always makes sure he says I’m just calling to see how ur doing…. I didn’t answer one day he happened to call me twice the followed it with a text saying DONT WORRY I’m just calling to see how ur doing. Then again he called two days later and sounded very upset… What does this mean
    what do I do?

    • admin
      November 20, 2014 | 3:02 pm

      Are you doing NC during this “every other day calling?”

  25. rani
    November 3, 2014 | 5:15 pm

    i n my bf were in nice n sweet relationship.. we have decided names of babies n all about marriage… but just frm past 1 month he want breakup i dont kne any reason.. he say that i luv him more bcoz of that he fears what will happen in future…. i tried everything.. i tried nc for 1 week but he just said dont msg me :-(.. plz plz help

    • admin
      November 20, 2014 | 2:45 pm

      You need to try NC for longer.

      (more than one week.)

  26. g
    November 2, 2014 | 2:37 pm

    i wanted to clarify something. just because an ex misses you, doesn’t mean he wants to get back together, right? i’m after nc and i’ve gotten a lot of good signs, but i think its because he wants me in his life as a friend. during nc i got a text from him on day 9 asking if we were allowed to talk yet to which i didnt respond and then on day 39 i received an email saying he’s thought about me every day since the breakup and misses me. on day 43 (i decided a little longer of nc) i sent him a text that something reminded me of him and cut the convo on text 4, to which he texted 8 times which shows he was excited to hear from me. then 2 days later he called me because “i said to not be a stranger and this was him not being a stranger”. though the signs look good, i still feel like he’s just excited im ready to be his friend. thoughts?

  27. Julia
    October 31, 2014 | 12:12 am

    Hi, I dated my best friend who was also my co-worker. He is someone that I can talk to for hours and hours without running out of things to say. We have the exact same sense of humor and always spend our time laughing. I wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time; it just sort of happened and took me by surprise. I couldn’t believe how “right” it felt. Fast forward a while and all of the sudden he withdraws out of the blue. We just shared a really great weekend together so I didn’t understand. After a few torturous days I asked him if he was mad at me and that’s when he broke up with me. I was shocked and hurt. I just lost my boyfriend and my best friend. AND…I still had to see him at work every day.

    I immediately stopped having any contact with him because I was so hurt and could not handle it. We literally work at desks right next to each other so it was super hard. Two weeks after our breakup I found out he was online dating the whole time we were together and had met someone! Who was this person?? I felt so safe with my best friend! It was all such a struggle.

    It has been two years since the breakup and we are still connected because of our close contact at work. For a while things got better and I had to start talking to him because the tension was unbearable. But several times he pretended like he left her and wanted me back but it was never the truth. He would flirt, call, tell me he still loves me and is confused. Then right after that I heard him tell a co-worker he was moving her here (she lived a few hours away). I was on this roller coaster and it was unbearable. He started flaunting his relationship at work and it would cut me to the bone every time.

    I quit my job this summer to get away from him. I moved to the other side of the country to take a seasonal job and suffered a large pay cut to do so. He took my leaving very hard and said he would trade anything to have me back. I wrote him a letter explaining how hurtful he had been, that I still loved him but the situation was unhealthy. I got nothing in return but joke texts. I stopped contact again for quite some time and we recently started texting after I came back home. He told me he is still grieving my absence so I asked if he finally misses me and he replied with a joke. What gives? He texts me once in a while now but never replies after that. He never had a problem expressing himself while we were together. Is he just stringing me along in a narcissistic manner or do you think there are underlying feelings there? I feel like our souls are knitted together and it is so hard to let him go. :(

    • admin
      November 3, 2014 | 3:56 pm

      Definitely start out with the NC rule.

  28. siobhain
    October 30, 2014 | 7:52 pm

    My be broke up with me last Friday over a text
    “Hiya *******. Its **** me fone took a swim, what with all the hastle lately. Listen im havin a bad time lately. And to be honest the age difference has been a bone a contention with me. Im not going to waste your time when me head is not in the game. Realy sorry that things could be different, but right now i just want to be on me own..

    I haven’t heard from him in a few weeks but the last time we were together he cooked me dinner, and breakfast in bed, we had the conversation about been exclusive and he gave me a gift. He has a lot of things going on… i care about him a lot and would like to think it could work. I still havnt replied and id like to… id like to meet up with him coz ive got some things for him… oh and btw the age gap… its 14 years

    • admin
      November 3, 2014 | 3:29 pm

      That was his breakup text? Half of it doesn’t even make sense.

  29. angel
    October 29, 2014 | 12:27 am

    My own is dat we had a fight. After that my family got to know that he bits me alwayz! So there are not really in good terms with him! After we both reconciled for 2week he began to act strang! He called me and reminded me of bad word i used wen he bit me up, dat he has not been him self ever since then! And donth know how to face my family again! That he does not feel anything for me anymore! Is up to 1week he has nt called! Plz wat should i do? I still want him back. Tnx

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 3:48 pm

      Did he give you a reason for the breakup other than the initial fight.

  30. E
    October 28, 2014 | 11:17 pm

    My boyfriend (28) and I (25) had been dating for a year now. He’s been experiencing a lot of stress because of work lately (they’ve been experiencing a restructure, he got a new boss who really isn’t a very good one, and his growth potential within that company is shattered), and I think he has been going through some self-esteem issues because of it. He was fine one day, then all of a sudden, he gets news that work’s getting worse and he is instantly bummed out for three or four days BEFORE he decides we need to split. He broke up with me, saying he had “things to take care of” on his own and that it’s unfair for me to wait for him, because it’ll take more than a couple weeks for him to take care of these “things.”

    Additionally, he has mentioned that he is still in love with me, that I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong–that I’m perfect, wonderful, and beautiful. He just needs to take care of some things on his own. I asked him if there’s another woman, he said no. I asked him if I did something wrong, he said absolutely not. He mentioned that he applied for jobs overseas, but doubts they’ll work out. I said that I’d go anywhere with him–and he said he’d buy my plane ticket if that happened. He also promised he’d come back–and it wouldn’t be a “hey, let’s be friends” thing, that he would be ready to be with me romantically again. I asked him the next day if he remembered the promises he made and if those were just things he was saying to make me feel better. He said no, and that he doesn’t make promises he can’t keep. Also, he said that he would come back, even if I were with someone else and joked that he’d beat them up.

    We had been talking about marriage, what kind of ring, having kids, growing old together–the whole nine yards. He was very excited to be with me. He said he still wants to be with me. But he has to do these things on his own for a while.

    All of his friends say he’s a man of his word and is most definitely not one to lie. They’re all confident he’ll return. They also say that they’ve been hearing him talk about how I’m “the one” for so long now, or how wonderful I am, and how much he loves me. He also has already called me, even the day after the breakup to “check on me.” There is a lot of other evidence, but I figured this was enough for now. What do you think? What’s the likelihood of his return? Or, if you can give any insight, what in the world is potentially going on in his mind?

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:50 pm

      Well, Its impossible to say for sure.

      Its good that you have some support from friends.

      What was his exact reason for the breakup?

      • E
        October 29, 2014 | 9:36 pm

        That he had to “take care of some things.” He talked about seeing a therapist, actually. And how I can’t “solely be his happiness.” But he did promise to come back. And he did say he wouldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.

        He has said some very contradictory statements.

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:27 pm

          What are his actions saying? Look at his actions and not his words.

        • Olivia
          November 20, 2014 | 8:01 pm

          Sounds like he’s afraid he’s becoming codependent. Has he ever been in a relationship so serious before?

      • E
        October 29, 2014 | 9:39 pm

        Do you think NC would help? I suspect that it might…?

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:29 pm

          I sure do.

      • E
        October 29, 2014 | 9:41 pm

        Sorry for the extra messages–I just keep remembering things! He also mentioned that he wanted to protect me and not “drag me down with him.” He also told another friend that he wouldn’t have broken up with me unless it was something really big that he had to take care of. Almost makes me think severe depression or something?

  31. Laura
    October 28, 2014 | 10:41 pm

    Bf of 2 years tried to break up with me b/c he was stressed due to graduate school admissions and mentally isn’t in a good place and says he needs to be along. Instead we decided to go on break (for at least a month) so he can hopefully get back to a good place mentally but have agreed to meet once a week for dinner. What should I do? Would it be better for me to actually end it and then try to get him back or let him be on break for a little and try to get him back that way?

    It’s worth noting that he broke up with me 3 months ago, which only lasted 5 days for reasons that he even admitted were invalid.

    I’d love to get some advice. It’s crazy to me because literally 3 days before the breakup he was talking about how he wants to eventually get married, etc. Please advise.

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:43 pm

      Have you tried NC yet?

      • Laura
        October 29, 2014 | 6:08 pm

        I’m in the middle of week 2 without seeing/talking to him with the exception of our weekly dinners. Should I get rid of those too?

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:19 pm


  32. Sabrina
    October 28, 2014 | 8:30 pm

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months and we had a strong relationship over the summer but ever since school started he seem to be more distant but he is a senior and i am a sophomore. He broke up with me about 3 days ago and he broke up with me over text message saying I didn’t do anything wrong and that he was just stressed out about school and wants to focus on his grades. After he texted me that I called him twice and he didn’t answer so i texted him the only reason I called him was to tell him how much of a classy move it was to break up with me over text message and that i knew i shouldnt have trusted him. He said he didnt answer the phone cause he was driving but then i told him it was fine because i didnt want to talk to him anymore anyways after how he treated me. Then he texted me back are you serious? and after that he texted me again how did i treat you? I know he is really busy right now with his friends and work and school but he’s always out with his friends till midnight but he had a hard time finding times to hang out with me and he never asked if I wanted to hang out i would always ask him and he would say idk maybe. the last day i saw him he said he had to go home at 5 and do laundry which i knew was a lie but didnt want to believe it. he hasnt texted me again after he texted me twice and i didnt answer when we broke up. And I havent texted him but we use to talk everyday.

    Do you think the no contact rule will work and he will miss me or do you think he forgot about me and is having to much fun doing senior stuff?

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:35 pm

      I think it will definitely have a positive effect!

  33. lee
    October 27, 2014 | 11:18 pm

    So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2.5 years. And recently for the past 2 weeks we have been fighting non stop. Mostly because he had planned a trip to Reno with some of his co-workers and lied to me about the details and I forgave him. So once he got back I let him rest from his crazy trip, but once he was all better I tried to reconnect with him intimately, but every time he would say how tired he was from work and was just not in the mood. So we fought about that for 4 days straight and finally one day I came home from work and I tried to talk to him about how I felt and he just said maybe we should break up and then left for work. I asked him why after we talked the next day and he just said it was because he didn’t want to feel tied down like he was already married and how he was only 22 years old and just wanted to be alone. But we live together so for the next 4 days I kept asking for a 2nd chance and that we should try to work things out and I know that sounds desperate, I was going throw a really depressed state of mind.Today, however I feel alot better, I finally stopped crying and have calmed down. Yesterday he told me that it was extremely hard for him to be in the apartment with me and that he still cared for me and misses me, but still wants to break up. I just really want him back but I’m not sure if there’s any hope anymore. What should I do?

    • admin
      October 28, 2014 | 4:30 pm

      Usually its the guy who fights with the girl over that not the girl… something is definitely off.

      I think NC is right up your ally!

  34. aggrivated
    October 27, 2014 | 2:46 pm

    My fiancé broke up with me about a month ago. We were engaged and together for four years. As any girl would be, I am devastated and want him back to try to work things out but he won’t talk to me. There are just so many questions that I do not have the answers to. I’m not going to lie about it, over the years our relationship was not always the fairytale. An important issue came up last year when we wanted to move in together. He had always told me that he wanted to live with a girl before getting married. I agreed because I honestly felt that way as well. When the time came, my parents got in the way and voiced their views that they wanted me to wait until getting married to move in. They are very religious. I am not and neither is my ex. We finally did move in together after a couple months. I had never really lived on my own before that. All along while we were living together, my ex told me numerous times that he wanted me to help more around the house, to do chores. I was busy with school finishing my degree and working part time. I had to go to my parent’s house often (every day) to take care of the family dog (he has heart disease) when no one was home. I was not helping him around the house as much as I should have. When he really voiced his opinion and got into an argument in May he took my engagement ring and I told him I promised to be better at helping out. It was around the time of his birthday and I decided to surprise him with a trip to St. Martin as a present and to try to rekindle our relationship. Ever since then there was not one day that I didn’t make sure everything was done around the house. After about a month (June) he ended up giving me my engagement ring back and the wedding planning was back on. Another issue was my parents wanted a catholic wedding, he did not, I did not care. This was a debate throughout the engagement. Finally in July after arguing about it he told me if having the wedding in a catholic church was the only way he could marry me then he would. He also went to my parent’s house and told them that he did not agree with it and said the same thing he told me. We agreed on a church and went to meet with the priest. We both signed papers saying that we wanted to marry each other with the intent of never getting divorced. Things seemed to be good after that for awhile but I had a few August I asked you just love me or are you in love with me? I told him I didn’t want an answer then and to think about it. He thought about it and told me he was in love with me and didn’t want to be with anyone else. Then September comes and we get into a stupid argument about a receipt, yes receipt. I ended up throwing my phone at the floor and he said “I’m done with this relationship.” We still lived together at this point. Then he tells me to move out of the house (I should have but didn’t) and I wrote him a letter, asked him to go out to dinner and read it to him. I asked him if he wanted to try to make it work or if he really wanted me to move out. He said he wasn’t sure so I tried to leave things as they were and go on with our everyday life. Things seemed a little off to me after that..he didn’t seem like he was trying so I nagged him a little to try when I should have taken things slow. In September a nice weekend was coming, he said he wanted to go to the beach and I suggested a certain one. He agreed and we took a mini weekend vacation. On the vacation he held my hand and we acted like a couple, at the beach I asked him if he wanted to try to make the relationship work and he said a part of him did a part of him didn’t. Everything was good for a couple days after that then all of a sudden out of nowhere he told me we have nothing in common, that I lie, we don’t like to do the same things, don’t communicate, he doesn’t like my parents getting in the way, and we’re on different levels then he kicked me out of the house. Now he won’t even talk to me. I kept trying to reach out in the first few weeks and nothing worked. What can I do to repair the relationship??? I have tried everything and just started the no contact. Is it too late to save what we had??? I miss him a lot and can’t believe he doesn’t miss me at all.

    • admin
      October 28, 2014 | 4:17 pm

      Definitely try the no contact on him!

      You are letting him getting away with stuff that he thinks he can get away with. The NC rule will turn the tables on him and make him view you in a different light.

      • aggrivated
        October 28, 2014 | 5:24 pm

        How is he going to know that things could be different if there’s no contact though?

        • admin
          October 29, 2014 | 2:24 pm

          Because after NC you message him and show him.

  35. candy
    October 21, 2014 | 2:59 am

    I broke up with my guy today…
    He shared a text with a friend that stated after hugging another friend at church he.almost forgot he had a girlfriend.
    This is the.second occurrence this year..previously he held a conversation with a.chic after midnight.via fb..and told her…had he.not been.a.good guy he would try to snatch her.up…. Waaaaaay.too much convo…dirty dog!!!
    I tolerance for that…we were together 11 week would be a.year..but I cannot and will not tolerate flirting etc..
    He was in.tears and pathetically gathered his things…saying he.dis not want is to end…
    I want him back… If.he enters a relationship.chances are.its going to.take a special person to put.up with his open mouthed snoring… Our crazy eating habits on.the.weekend… And more.personal flaws…
    Do you jave.any thoughts?

  36. Daniella
    October 16, 2014 | 7:01 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years, had some issues in the relationship just like many couples but overall was a very good relationship.
    He then decided after 2 years and after being on an amazing holiday with me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and that he didn’t want the responsibility of having a girlfriend. He’s 19 and I’m 21 and the first thing that comes to mind is that he wants other girls but he insists that isn’t the reason, he just simply wants to be alone. We still text every now and then and he tells me he misses me and wants me but ‘not right now’
    Everyone thinks we’ll get back together but I’m not so sure, he does love me and he does care for me (something happened and I needed him whilst we’ve not been together and he was there within an instant)
    I don’t know what to do to make him realise he’s made a mistake and to start chasing me back?

    He’s done this before, with the same excuse and he came back after 4 months, will that happen again?

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:59 pm

      Definitely do NC.

      I think you have a very good shot.

  37. layla
    October 14, 2014 | 9:12 pm

    Hey, so i met this guy, after 3 weeks of getting to know each other we got together, and after 2 months he broke up with me because i was jealous of him talking to other girls and he couldn’t handle it. I really love him like we really had a special bond, well i thought so anyway. But anyway after a week of breaking up We met “as friends” and was supposed to meet again but he blew me of so we didn’t speak, 2 days later i found out i was pregnant, so i told him and we agreed that i would get it aborted because of our age (him 16 me 17), and then said i should let him know when i have had the abortion, which i did about a week later, and since haven’t contacted him as i have heard about the one month no contact rule, its been 5 days, does anyone think he will come back?

  38. Alex
    October 14, 2014 | 4:51 pm


    Back in August my GF of 2 years +. Broke things up with me, I was supposed to move in with her in Sept. But got some cold feet due to my daughter who is 4 , After that she starting bringing up past arguments that were left open,

    Now it almost two months later we still have sex, we cry to each other she said its hard for her she hates being alone and misses me, after a night of us being with each other and having an amazing time together she gets cold on me and doesn’t answer my text until I start getting mad.

    I don’t know what to do, she I continue fighting for our relationship to get back, or should I quit, she tells me she doesn’t want me but this last week I’ve seen her three times and it’s been us like we always was

    Please give me some advise??

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:24 pm

      Hi Alex, by any chance have you seen my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery

  39. Samantha
    October 14, 2014 | 4:44 pm

    Hey Chris, I was dating my boyfriend for a year and because of a number of little arguments we had here and there, he kind of started snapping at me for a few days and I finally told him that needed to change in order for this to work out. That’s when he told me his heart wasn’t in this relationship anymore and he wanted to break up. I told him to really think about it for 2 weeks and we would talk then. I did NC in that period and went on a holiday and he was shocked that I took off so quickly and even asked me a week later how much longer I was going to be there for. After 2 weeks we met, but he said he wanted to stick to his decision and wanted to just “be alone”. He made it clear he wasn’t trying to date other people but really just wanted to be alone. In the next few days that followed, I kept my distance from him but we ended up texting each other back and forth and followed your rules of texting your ex and it really worked! I decided to initiate a coffee meet up, and we met and it was as if we were on our second date again. There was a lot of smiling and laughing and he would flirt with me by lightly touching my leg. At the end of the date, he kissed my cheek and said “I’ll see you very soon, ok?” Then a couple hours later he texted me to tell me it was nice seeing me. But then I texted him back and he didn’t respond. I didn’t say anything else for 2 more days, then I asked him a question, and he responded with two large texts, both positive.

    What do I do now? Is this a friend zone? How do I get us to grow the love and romance back? It’s been about 5 and a half weeks since we broke up and I’m worried after the progress we made in the last two weeks, if this dies off then we’ll be in the friend zone or he’ll move on. What tactics can I use?

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:23 pm

      How long did you makeit in the no contact period?

  40. Frustrated
    October 10, 2014 | 4:17 am

    Please don’t forget to respond to me… You asked a question and I responded to your question above… I need your help please. (Please see above)

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:35 pm

      I lost your question. I am so sorry. Can you repeat it for me?

      • Frustrated
        October 14, 2014 | 6:02 am

        October 9, 2014 | 1:34 pm
        Did you ever talk to him about why things were so different when you got back together?

        October 9, 2014 | 3:00 pm
        Yes, we spoke about it. He said said it was because he had told me that basketball season (he play professionally) would take a lot of his time, but I failed to understand (that is a lie, because he started distancing himself before basketball season already. I was not wen invited to a single game. His family ene wondered why I wasn’t invited to games cos his exes were always invited… Well, because he only came back after basketball season, there was nothing I could do about it but just accept his apology. I do suspect that there was someone in the picture that wa invited to the games other than myself. He also did mention that there was someone in the picture during our breakup. When I asked why he came back to me and left her… He said because to him it was just abou the sex…

        I have a feeling he’s a player, and I was used just for sex too. What’s your advice?

        Do you think he’ll come back?

  41. Destiny
    October 10, 2014 | 2:48 am

    My ex bf and I dated for 2 years and 3 months. We recently broke up and for about two or so days I didn’t talk to him. I then later started texting, when I first texted him, he texted back. I said I miss you and he replied good. I asked him if he missed me and he said no. I asked really? And he said really. Then I said wow okay then and he didn’t respond so I text later saying I got a phone today. He said cool I don’t care. Now leave me alone please. I said no I love you and you like it. He never texted back. I texted him the next day, no reply. I finally called him and he answered. Deep deep now inside of me I do believe he wants to be with me. He broke up with me. He got mad cause I had a snapchat then he began to say I don’t wanna be with you anymore. I don’t wanna be in a relationship anymore it’s not going anywhere. You don’t wanna marry me and other things. I know I’ve bugged him I just know inside he wants to be with me. I think the main reason is he wants to hang out with his friends and I never stopped him. I just don’t want to lose him. What should I do? He answers some of my calls but none of my texts.

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:32 pm

      You are acting WAAAAYYY too desperate.

      What do desperate people do?

      They ask if you miss them.

  42. Anonymous
    October 9, 2014 | 9:49 pm

    I’m currently doing the N/C thing after what seems a little while coming. To keep things short il just say a childhood sweetheart came back into my life after years of not speaking not due to any kind of bad feeling aimy because life took us in different directions.. Well one random day I got aessage from him via Facebook of him sayin how beautiful I have grown up to be.. We began speaking again, texts, phone calls etc. He then took me on a date after a month of just rekindling our friendship & building chemistry .. We were dating for 6 months. This is where it now becomes clouded..
    A date we planned to go on didn’t happen due to a miss communication on my part.. He was upset and contacted me that evening sYing how he feels like a fool because after the date he had booked us a hotel and brought me earrings as a surprise after what I thought wS just a casual trip to the cinimae.
    We had a argument that night I left it and have him space then contacted him to try resolve the misunderstanding nake plans to get things back on track.
    I askd if we could do it for a day we planned sumit together futher on In the week.. He said due to us not speaking he made other plans but would try change them so we could spend time together. I then went out d my way n made effort n tryd to surprise him back. The day comes a massive argument happens and that wAs when it ended.
    We spoke occasionally after for a short time befor I then asked if we could make plans just to have a face to face catch up as I missed him.. His funny behaviour continues he is being vage saying yes but not giving days to when he’s free. My frustration builds, I say something we fall out again. We’ve fallen into a rutine of going in circles now and I’m beyond fed up but still wanting us to just be us again :(
    We go a while again without speaking and I won tickets to c some football thing, totally not my cup of tea so I askd him if he wanted them. I got the friendly eager to talk to me response not really asking about the tickets but more asking me what I’m doing can he see me etc?
    I ayes it cool and didn’t reply till the morning.. That got his back up and he was annoyed and again he pulls back. While we are on good terms I ask him why he is showin no intrest in bein a friend” he replies he will always be my friend regardless and he does care n have feelings for me”
    I leave it as that and were getin on fine.
    I then go up to London for the day and that is where he lives so I text just asking if we could meet up for a hour while I’m here. He starts again being vaige”il let you know bub” I didn’t hear from him. Obviously I was upset because all it feels like is since that whole mis understanding and argents he’s pulling back more and more and I’m chasing which is frustrating me. Basicly from there I have left it as to say you say you have feelings and u care yet u can’take time. Slight contradictory behaviour but to think I’m here trying cause like a fool Iv fallen for u or something to that effect basicly telin him Iv fallen for him n he’s just taking the mickey playing games now n he won’t be hearing from me again. I get the hint.
    I hAvnt heard from him since not even a reply to that. None of this makes sense to me because befor the whole me not showing up misunderstanding his behaviour was never ever like this ino he has feelins for me. I’m feelin so confused and bad. Can you just shed some light on all this from a guys point of view cz I do t understand how it’s all flipped so fast I get Iv hurt him and pissed him of he but I’m tryin well did try to fix it and obvs Iv given up now because I’m feeling more and more let down and took for granted.

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:17 pm

      He seems to overreacted about the missed date in my opinion.

      However, I think maybe some type of NC can help you a lot.

  43. LouLou
    October 9, 2014 | 8:24 pm

    So, my ex boyfriend & I split about 2 months ago – his ex missus only lived round the corner from him and they have a child together, she also has other kids by different dads, who he seems very much attached to. He broke it off with me because he said he couldn’t open up to me emotionally, yet every week since our split, I hear from him. Within 48 hours of our split, he shared a bed with his ex, knowing how I felt about her.
    He says he loves talking to me, that he hasn’t been dealing very well since our break up and has been acting irrationally, and that when he is due to go into hospital, he wants it to be me there with him and no one else. The last time we spoke, I told him I needed no contact for a while, and yet this week I hear from him again. I was just starting to feel good without him in my life, and everytime he talks to me, my emotions go into turmoil. Some advice please?

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:12 pm

      Seems like he is still hung up on the ex a bit.

  44. Sharon
    October 9, 2014 | 2:42 am

    My bf just told me today that he doesnt want to talk anymore,that he can’t handle it right now. I am going nc but his birthday is in 2 weeks. I don’t know if I should do or say anything for his bday… He has a lot of stress right now and I hope we can get back. He lost his job. I’m not sure what to do we were together 2 months and he lost his job the 2nd week, we are in our 40’s.

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:48 pm

      Dont break NC for wishin him a happy birthday.

    • Olivia
      November 20, 2014 | 8:13 pm

      *definitely* don’t say anything for his birthday! Be strong and take your power back, girl

  45. Allison
    October 9, 2014 | 1:24 am

    My boyfriend and I just recently broke up and we have a child together this time. When I met him 2 1/2 years ago, I thought he was a complete a**. But over the time of knowing him and with him coming over to my house(oh, he was my ex’s best friend at first), I got to know him and he seemed like a nice guy. We started dating not too long after that, and after 8 months of being together, he broke it off with me. He couldn’t stand the constant nagging about stuff he didn’t do. I was too heartbroken and suffered a lot from it. Finally after 2 months of us being broken up, I got over him, moved out on my own, I was feeling good. About 3 weeks after that, he started to miss me and came crawling back and apologized deeply for everything that went down when we first broke up. We got back together and within 2 months of that, we got pregnant. Almost done my pregnancy, an issue comes up and I decided to end it because of how bad the situation got(long story short, he lied about being with another woman while we were separated the first time and got her pregnant). We broke up for 2 months. Again, he lied about something else, but we agreed to get back together because we loved one another, and NOT make it work for the baby, because that isn’t a good thing. Everything was going great, we got a house, and a dog, we were a family. But then again, my constant nagging got in the way and he got fed up with it and ended it. Both of us never changed, because of the way we were both acting towards another. I made it my official goal to him that I would change, but he would have to as well. He accuses me of being a crazy b***h, and that is his reasoning for breaking up. He’s done this to me before, same outcome, different situation. He says that he doesn’t hate me, and he’s willing to help me out with finding another place and helping me move, and that he still really cares for me, but he can’t be in a relationship. In your opinion, what is going on with his head. He’s giving up on a family because I’m a crazy b***h, that’s his only reason.

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:47 pm

      What have you done that makes him think that about you.

  46. Frustrated
    October 8, 2014 | 4:04 pm

    My story is a bit dramatic… Hope you can help… My bf and I dated for 2 months (it was the best experience I ever had in terms of romance). Then he started becoming a bit distant. I complained about the distance, but it didn’t change. We then broke up, then I read your guide. I implemented a 30 day nc rule… On the 37th day he contacted me by email… I was excited to see the email (I responded the following day). We had a catual chat over a few days, then he apologised and asked that we reconcile… We got back together… It was never te same again (he didn’t tell me he loved me and he didn’t address me by pet names, etc) – I actually suspected that he was back for sex… We were together for a month, then he just stopped taking my calls… Trust me, I still love him o bits and I miss him a lot… I’ve started another nc rule and am on day 10… A few days after my last attempt to call him, I put up great videos of myself at gym (Facebook), a few more days later, I put up pics of a grey weekend I ha with my friends at a biker rally, then lastly I put up pics of myself at a late dinner date (I made sure that he could see that there was two plates of good on the table in the pic)… Then the following day he unfriended me and blocke me on fb… Do you think I’m waist ing my time??? Or is there a chance that he misses me and will come back?

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:34 pm

      Did you ever talk to him about why things were so different when you got back together?

      • Frustrated
        October 9, 2014 | 3:00 pm

        Yes, we spoke about it. He said said it was because he had told me that basketball season (he play professionally) would take a lot of his time, but I failed to understand (that is a lie, because he started distancing himself before basketball season already. I was not wen invited to a single game. His family ene wondered why I wasn’t invited to games cos his exes were always invited… Well, because he only came back after basketball season, there was nothing I could do about it but just accept his apology. I do suspect that there was someone in the picture that wa invited to the games other than myself. He also did mention that there was someone in the picture during our breakup. When I asked why he came back to me and left her… He said because to him it was just abou the sex…

        I have a feeling he’s a player, and I was used just for sex too. What’s your advice?

      • Frustrated
        October 9, 2014 | 3:00 pm

        Yes, we spoke about it. He said said it was because he had told me that basketball season (he play professionally) would take a lot of his time, but I failed to understand (that is a lie, because he started distancing himself before basketball season already. I was not wen invited to a single game. His family ene wondered why I wasn’t invited to games cos his exes were always invited… Well, because he only came back after basketball season, there was nothing I could do about it but just accept his apology. I do suspect that there was someone in the picture that wa invited to the games other than myself. He also did mention that there was someone in the picture during our breakup. When I asked why he came back to me and left her… He said because to him it was just abou the sex…

        I have a feeling he’s a player, and I was used just for sex too. What’s your advice?

  47. Joe
    October 8, 2014 | 3:57 pm


    I was in relationship with a guy for three 3 months, we ended up a break
    Up 6 month ago as i did crying like shit infornt of him
    Because of my ex, he then left my country and told
    Me he does not promise to be back as our relationship
    Is not strong enough, however if when he’s back and if we both are avaible, we may together again!we stil then keep talking some time via phone, i guess i made him mad sometimes as well as i got hurt after a break up! The most recent chat in July he told he has no feeling with me anymore! And even get annoyed when i told him i just bought him a t-shirt! However, we still chat sometimes and he did share with me his family pic as well as the bad news of his family in August, in beging of sept he travel
    To an other country, we still chat sometimes but mostly he ends up
    Silent if my talk is too personal! In the midle of sept I
    Was bad to ask to much about his time there that finally he told me of course he will on dates whenever appropariate, he is single! I then discontact with him! But start Oct14 he is back to my country as his project here, he promise to let me know when he arrive but he did not do that untill
    I asked him if he is here ! He just passed by my place on last sunday night to take the t-shirt i bought for him and some
    Stuff he left at my place! We had a good communication mostly about his job and place for living here! I asked if i can see him again he told
    We can have dinner sometimes, he then left we chated when he got home, but i make a mistake next day and a day after when keep
    Chating with him he told me he cannt keep
    Up with daily chat as it takes his eneger and time
    And he does not have them at the moment! I was panic so as keep talking a lot and even asked him if i can have dinner with him on friday! He said
    No…! I was crazy!! I know i should make it slowly but i already
    blow everything up:( !
    Is there anyway to save this!? I still have feeling for him even 6 moths already from day he left! Especially he is now here so as i dont want to miss this chance, he told me he can leave after a month or depends so
    as i really under the pressure! :( i really want to
    Have him back!

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:31 pm

      6 months later and you are still in love with him?

      • Joe
        October 10, 2014 | 5:06 pm

        Yes! I guess! I still feel full emotional when i huged him last sunday and i know how i feel when i looked at him! But thins
        Ga seems harder for me now! I just sms today asking if i can pass by and give him a cake, he said “no”, i then felt totally panic and sending several messages ! We end up that he told me i stop
        Harassing him and dont want to receive those kind of sms anymore! I felt so awful and ask if i can see him to say sorry and i dont want to text as seems create a lot of misunderstanding(i was crazy) he told me he dont want! :( i cannt save anything right!? I miss him a lot and really dont want he leave my country in next month again! Is there any hope!?

  48. dee
    October 8, 2014 | 1:16 pm

    My bf and I were going on 6 months next week. I admit we broke up almost two weeks ago because I was jealous of his girl that’s a friend and him talking so much and hanging out at the fair. But we started to work things out and all of the sudden he says he’s done and can’t handle it cuz my guy friend that he doesn’t like took a picture with my son. My son isn’t my bfs kid. I’m scared the no contact will make him move on. What’s the most affective way to make him miss me? And how long would no contact have to be?

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:15 pm

      They hung out one on one? Him and this girl?

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