How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup


If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all. I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. I respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

How To Make Him Miss You (The Complete Steps!)

As I am sure you are already aware, making your ex boyfriend miss you (and potentially want you back) can be a tricky thing to do. It will take discipline, strategy and hard work (and even then you aren’t guaranteed to succeed.) However, I feel I have come up with an awesome way to not only make him miss you but to actually get him chasing you.

There is just one problem, the tactics I talk about are actually a little complicated and very detailed. So, while this page can help you make your ex boyfriend miss you it won’t do it as well as my E-Book does. So, when you get a chance (if you feel like it.) I recommend that you check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO:

My E-Book!

Everyone’s Advantage

roger federer

Before you even start using any “missing” tactics you have a pretty big advantage already. Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much? Oh, but it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

The Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

  1. You can both agree on the breakup and do it mutually.
  2. He can break up with you.
  3. You can break up with him.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup. We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct. Of course, there is one case where this might work as well.

The ONE case where you might not have this advantage.

  • If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

The ONE case where this will work EXTREMELY well.

  • If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

No Contact = “I Miss You”

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please visit Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

no eye contactThroughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme. The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

 You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for one full month. If during that month you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond.

Sounds pretty simple huh? Actually, I would say that this is the toughest part to trying to get your ex back. However, if you do it successfully not only will you improve your chances of potentially putting yourself in a position to get him back but you will make huge strides in making him miss you.

You see, men at their core (I should know because I am one) have some pretty strange thoughts after a breakup but I would say that most guys eventually get back to one core thought “she is going to be the first to contact me.” How do I know this? Because, that is exactly what I thought after a break up I went through. Sure enough, after 3 days of not talking to my ex she contacted me.

Using my example, have you ever stopped and wonder what would have happened if my ex hadn’t contacted me? Let me tell you. My confident claim of “she is going to be the first to contact me” would have turned into “why the &^*% hasn’t she contacted me?” Interesting flip of the switch huh? Soon, that anger of “why hasn’t she contacted me yet?” would cause me to realize just how much I miss having her in my life.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You

(For more information on the different things you can do to make him miss you please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape


There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. I wanted her immediately. I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her.

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

I dont care

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much. Just focus on the most important thing, you. Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and chill for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life


You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.” Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

Tactic 4- Hitting His Emotional Hot Buttons

hot buttons

Look, eventually the no contact rule end is going to end and a time is going to come where you are going to have to communicate with your ex. When you do contact him make sure you do it via a text message. Texting is viewed as non threatening and it will give you the ability to slowly push is emotional hot buttons. I recommend that you check out this guide on how to correctly text message your ex.

Tactic 5- Jealousy Can Be Effective IF Used Correctly


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way. It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

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2,495 Responses to How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
  1. SPD
    November 26, 2014 | 5:01 am


    I have a long story but i really want you to know so that you can help me have him back. We dated for more than 3 years. There were many ups and downs, he was crazzy for me initially like all men are, then he started taking me for granted. In this span, i became very emotionally dependent on him. for each thing, i used to see him. yes he loved me but i never saw his social acceptance for me, may be coz i am chubby. We stayed together for a year and told our parents that we want to marry. Our parents matched our profiles and it was known that there is some problem with my stars and he might die, or stay ill if we go ahead. i never believed in all this and thought even he wont.

    He never accepted that he believed. even after this, he gave me assurance that we would stay seperate and be happy, we do this do that and he had a lot many plans. with time, he became silent. never used to talk abt future. and i like a fool always thought he will be with me. we fought a lot, he told me his parents are not agreeing on this relationship. I made him the center of my life, my world my everything, he took me for granted big time. i knw he loved me but i didnt see that madness which was there initially. he never came to meet my parents when he knew my parents loved him. one more thing, he never tried to create any rapport between me and his parents, his mom was strict. may be she wanted a rich daughter in law. his parents had a love marriage and they werent agreeing to ours. my guy could never fight for me or it was a family pressure or even he had certain expectations from his partner. i am in a mess and have lost confidence. i really love him. i know his determination but he did not show this while having me in his life. why??????

    last week, i met him and he told me he is getting engaged. my heart broke and i am shattered. he cried and said a sorry. he finished me completely. please help me!! i have loved him and love him with all my heart n soul.

    this in India, and we follow strict traditions, once the engagement happens, families become very protective. but i still hope he would come back or i am just trying to console myself. my parents, friends have asked me to move on and have started hating him.

    please help!
    something is killing me from inside day by day. please do something.


  2. Jess
    November 25, 2014 | 11:58 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago after his friends had gone on holiday and he was unable to go it wasn’t my fault but he took it out on me and finished me over text I went round to his house to talk things though and he made me leave his house and started shouting at me I didn’t contact him for a couple of days after and he had gone out with his friends drinking and text me when he was abit drunk just saying ‘I love you’ I didn’t know what to say back becuase I was in that much shock so I asked him to take me back he replied with ‘we don’t work anymore’ so I asked him not to contact me as he was messing with my head his replie being ‘I can’t help contacting you’ I sent him a long meaningful paragraph back and he never replied a few weeks went by and one night he messaged me again ‘saying don’t think I don’t miss you’ I didn’t reply till the weekend after when I had had a drink and I told him I missed him too but he never responded again so that was that and I was getting on with things and then about 2 weeks ago he started favorating my tweets on twitter and unblocked me on Facebook and text me just saying my name so I ignored that and the he inboxed me on Facebook telling me that he had to tell me that he hadent moved on and he missed me so much. He also text me best friends saying something along the lines of ‘what do I actually do I miss her like crazy’ I replyed to the inbox and told him we couldn’t be friends becuase he had been so nasty, I don’t wana be his friend I want him back so my friend had texting him back asking if he wanted me back and he just put ‘I miss her and it sucks we can’t be friends’ she then told him I wouldn’t be friends with him bacause I was still inlove with him and he never replied to her he also started ignoring me again and I haven’t heard anything back since then. I don’t no what he’s playing at. I was starting to do okay and then it’s just like he’s come and kicked me back down again. Please help me understand what’s going on in his head :(

    • admin
      November 26, 2014 | 3:05 pm

      Have you started NC yet?

  3. Ashlee
    November 18, 2014 | 3:58 am

    My ex and I had been dating for about 2 years, we actually lived together for 9 months of that and here recently I had moved 3 hours away and in a couple of months I will be moving back to the area he lives in for college. (It’s a long story) well we promised we would make this long distance relationship work since I would be back in 3 months anyway.. Well 3 days ago out of no where my ex broke up with me on the phone and said that he loves me but doesn’t feel the same about me anymore and hasn’t for awhile and I’ve only been gone for a month. I tried everything I could do to be with him and he said he doesn’t feel the same or like he got anything out of our relationship. I don’t know what to do and feel so hurt and lost because we had our whole future planned. Will he even come back if I do the no contact rule or is it even worth the worry. It’s just that I had my whole future planned out and to move back down there with him and he broke up with me and doesn’t even seem to care.

    • m
      November 24, 2014 | 10:29 pm

      I hAve the same problem almost but more complicated

  4. anonymous
    November 18, 2014 | 1:58 am

    My now ex fiance proposed weeks before i moved over seas for work..we had agreed that i try save then we go finalize our traditional marriage and proceed to either church or civil wedding..the first one year was great but he changed after 1 and 1/2..he became abusive..rude he’d never call in the name of he now on postpaid and it can’t make international calls (lie) forward .i never gave up and few months ago he started ignorinng me whenever i was sick… last have week i became so isi and i told him he started ignoring my calls and he even told me we can’t talk.he’s with his colleagues..i just decided to let go..i know he thinks i will still go back coz,i

  5. Laura
    November 4, 2014 | 1:26 am

    My boyfriend and I had been together for over 2 1/2 years. Everything seemed to be going good. People found it strange but we never once argued. Yes we had our differences but we managed to always communicate. He has a son as do I from previous relationships and they are the same age. All this time they have seen each other as brothers. So many things we both have gone through but we were always by each others side. About over a year ago he decided to go into the refineries to work and earn more to provide for us and start working on building our future together. I supported his decision and we had so many plans going for each other. Every time he was away working I do admit it was difficult, but when he would come back we were so excited to see each other. This past summer we even took our kids to Disney which was a great experience to see that we can do things as a family, and talked about having children together. Everything seemed great! Late September he was assigned a new project and he had to leave out of state. We would talk and text. Tell each other how much we missed each other. Until out of no where he sent me a text message while I was at work telling me, “I’m sorry but I can’t do a long distance relationship anymore. I still have more work to do and I will be away longer. I think we need to focus on ourselves.” That tore me apart and I honestly was in shock. He called me later on that night to talk about the message and I tried to talk to him like we always do but I didn’t get anywhere. I was upset and I have to admit the call did not end well. My question to you is did I ruin any chances of us ever talking again? I do wonder if he thinks about me and my son. I do love him. What do I do?

    • Laura
      November 4, 2014 | 1:27 am

      He sent me the text message on Oct. 23rd. It’s going on two weeks since we last talked.

    • admin
      November 20, 2014 | 3:07 pm

      The LDR… was it permanent or just for a short time?

      • Laura
        November 21, 2014 | 5:59 pm

        Well according to him when he took it upon himself to make this decision it was only a month, and apparently he was going to be away longer. In the past we had been apart for 2 even 3 months and I just don’t understand why this time he says he couldn’t deal with it knowing from day one this was going to happen when you work with the refineries. The 30 days not speaking to each other is approaching within the next wk. What do I do? So you think I should even bother?

        • Laura
          November 21, 2014 | 6:01 pm

          This is the first time we have gone through this. So I really don’t know if it’s permanent or not. I would greatly appreciate your input.

        • admin
          November 24, 2014 | 4:08 pm

          I am not sure I buy his reasoning either…

          I think you should bother since you have already started the process. Do you have a text message prepared for him?

  6. Laura
    November 4, 2014 | 1:10 am

    My bf broke up with me b/c he said he’s not comfortable coming over anymore and he’s not enjoying my company the fight started mainly b/c I told him he’s changed he called me to break up and form that night to the next morning on the phone & texts we said some horrible things to each other he keep texting to me that I was mean & ugly as a response to my texts …. It’s been 2 weeks since our break up and he has called every second day to see how I’m doing and that’s because I hurt my knee just before the break up every time he has called I answered and he always makes sure he says I’m just calling to see how ur doing…. I didn’t answer one day he happened to call me twice the followed it with a text saying DONT WORRY I’m just calling to see how ur doing. Then again he called two days later and sounded very upset… What does this mean
    what do I do?

    • admin
      November 20, 2014 | 3:02 pm

      Are you doing NC during this “every other day calling?”

  7. rani
    November 3, 2014 | 5:15 pm

    i n my bf were in nice n sweet relationship.. we have decided names of babies n all about marriage… but just frm past 1 month he want breakup i dont kne any reason.. he say that i luv him more bcoz of that he fears what will happen in future…. i tried everything.. i tried nc for 1 week but he just said dont msg me :-(.. plz plz help

    • admin
      November 20, 2014 | 2:45 pm

      You need to try NC for longer.

      (more than one week.)

  8. g
    November 2, 2014 | 2:37 pm

    i wanted to clarify something. just because an ex misses you, doesn’t mean he wants to get back together, right? i’m after nc and i’ve gotten a lot of good signs, but i think its because he wants me in his life as a friend. during nc i got a text from him on day 9 asking if we were allowed to talk yet to which i didnt respond and then on day 39 i received an email saying he’s thought about me every day since the breakup and misses me. on day 43 (i decided a little longer of nc) i sent him a text that something reminded me of him and cut the convo on text 4, to which he texted 8 times which shows he was excited to hear from me. then 2 days later he called me because “i said to not be a stranger and this was him not being a stranger”. though the signs look good, i still feel like he’s just excited im ready to be his friend. thoughts?

  9. Julia
    October 31, 2014 | 12:12 am

    Hi, I dated my best friend who was also my co-worker. He is someone that I can talk to for hours and hours without running out of things to say. We have the exact same sense of humor and always spend our time laughing. I wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time; it just sort of happened and took me by surprise. I couldn’t believe how “right” it felt. Fast forward a while and all of the sudden he withdraws out of the blue. We just shared a really great weekend together so I didn’t understand. After a few torturous days I asked him if he was mad at me and that’s when he broke up with me. I was shocked and hurt. I just lost my boyfriend and my best friend. AND…I still had to see him at work every day.

    I immediately stopped having any contact with him because I was so hurt and could not handle it. We literally work at desks right next to each other so it was super hard. Two weeks after our breakup I found out he was online dating the whole time we were together and had met someone! Who was this person?? I felt so safe with my best friend! It was all such a struggle.

    It has been two years since the breakup and we are still connected because of our close contact at work. For a while things got better and I had to start talking to him because the tension was unbearable. But several times he pretended like he left her and wanted me back but it was never the truth. He would flirt, call, tell me he still loves me and is confused. Then right after that I heard him tell a co-worker he was moving her here (she lived a few hours away). I was on this roller coaster and it was unbearable. He started flaunting his relationship at work and it would cut me to the bone every time.

    I quit my job this summer to get away from him. I moved to the other side of the country to take a seasonal job and suffered a large pay cut to do so. He took my leaving very hard and said he would trade anything to have me back. I wrote him a letter explaining how hurtful he had been, that I still loved him but the situation was unhealthy. I got nothing in return but joke texts. I stopped contact again for quite some time and we recently started texting after I came back home. He told me he is still grieving my absence so I asked if he finally misses me and he replied with a joke. What gives? He texts me once in a while now but never replies after that. He never had a problem expressing himself while we were together. Is he just stringing me along in a narcissistic manner or do you think there are underlying feelings there? I feel like our souls are knitted together and it is so hard to let him go. :(

    • admin
      November 3, 2014 | 3:56 pm

      Definitely start out with the NC rule.

  10. siobhain
    October 30, 2014 | 7:52 pm

    My be broke up with me last Friday over a text
    “Hiya *******. Its **** me fone took a swim, what with all the hastle lately. Listen im havin a bad time lately. And to be honest the age difference has been a bone a contention with me. Im not going to waste your time when me head is not in the game. Realy sorry that things could be different, but right now i just want to be on me own..

    I haven’t heard from him in a few weeks but the last time we were together he cooked me dinner, and breakfast in bed, we had the conversation about been exclusive and he gave me a gift. He has a lot of things going on… i care about him a lot and would like to think it could work. I still havnt replied and id like to… id like to meet up with him coz ive got some things for him… oh and btw the age gap… its 14 years

    • admin
      November 3, 2014 | 3:29 pm

      That was his breakup text? Half of it doesn’t even make sense.

  11. angel
    October 29, 2014 | 12:27 am

    My own is dat we had a fight. After that my family got to know that he bits me alwayz! So there are not really in good terms with him! After we both reconciled for 2week he began to act strang! He called me and reminded me of bad word i used wen he bit me up, dat he has not been him self ever since then! And donth know how to face my family again! That he does not feel anything for me anymore! Is up to 1week he has nt called! Plz wat should i do? I still want him back. Tnx

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 3:48 pm

      Did he give you a reason for the breakup other than the initial fight.

  12. E
    October 28, 2014 | 11:17 pm

    My boyfriend (28) and I (25) had been dating for a year now. He’s been experiencing a lot of stress because of work lately (they’ve been experiencing a restructure, he got a new boss who really isn’t a very good one, and his growth potential within that company is shattered), and I think he has been going through some self-esteem issues because of it. He was fine one day, then all of a sudden, he gets news that work’s getting worse and he is instantly bummed out for three or four days BEFORE he decides we need to split. He broke up with me, saying he had “things to take care of” on his own and that it’s unfair for me to wait for him, because it’ll take more than a couple weeks for him to take care of these “things.”

    Additionally, he has mentioned that he is still in love with me, that I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong–that I’m perfect, wonderful, and beautiful. He just needs to take care of some things on his own. I asked him if there’s another woman, he said no. I asked him if I did something wrong, he said absolutely not. He mentioned that he applied for jobs overseas, but doubts they’ll work out. I said that I’d go anywhere with him–and he said he’d buy my plane ticket if that happened. He also promised he’d come back–and it wouldn’t be a “hey, let’s be friends” thing, that he would be ready to be with me romantically again. I asked him the next day if he remembered the promises he made and if those were just things he was saying to make me feel better. He said no, and that he doesn’t make promises he can’t keep. Also, he said that he would come back, even if I were with someone else and joked that he’d beat them up.

    We had been talking about marriage, what kind of ring, having kids, growing old together–the whole nine yards. He was very excited to be with me. He said he still wants to be with me. But he has to do these things on his own for a while.

    All of his friends say he’s a man of his word and is most definitely not one to lie. They’re all confident he’ll return. They also say that they’ve been hearing him talk about how I’m “the one” for so long now, or how wonderful I am, and how much he loves me. He also has already called me, even the day after the breakup to “check on me.” There is a lot of other evidence, but I figured this was enough for now. What do you think? What’s the likelihood of his return? Or, if you can give any insight, what in the world is potentially going on in his mind?

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:50 pm

      Well, Its impossible to say for sure.

      Its good that you have some support from friends.

      What was his exact reason for the breakup?

      • E
        October 29, 2014 | 9:36 pm

        That he had to “take care of some things.” He talked about seeing a therapist, actually. And how I can’t “solely be his happiness.” But he did promise to come back. And he did say he wouldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.

        He has said some very contradictory statements.

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:27 pm

          What are his actions saying? Look at his actions and not his words.

        • Olivia
          November 20, 2014 | 8:01 pm

          Sounds like he’s afraid he’s becoming codependent. Has he ever been in a relationship so serious before?

      • E
        October 29, 2014 | 9:39 pm

        Do you think NC would help? I suspect that it might…?

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:29 pm

          I sure do.

      • E
        October 29, 2014 | 9:41 pm

        Sorry for the extra messages–I just keep remembering things! He also mentioned that he wanted to protect me and not “drag me down with him.” He also told another friend that he wouldn’t have broken up with me unless it was something really big that he had to take care of. Almost makes me think severe depression or something?

  13. Laura
    October 28, 2014 | 10:41 pm

    Bf of 2 years tried to break up with me b/c he was stressed due to graduate school admissions and mentally isn’t in a good place and says he needs to be along. Instead we decided to go on break (for at least a month) so he can hopefully get back to a good place mentally but have agreed to meet once a week for dinner. What should I do? Would it be better for me to actually end it and then try to get him back or let him be on break for a little and try to get him back that way?

    It’s worth noting that he broke up with me 3 months ago, which only lasted 5 days for reasons that he even admitted were invalid.

    I’d love to get some advice. It’s crazy to me because literally 3 days before the breakup he was talking about how he wants to eventually get married, etc. Please advise.

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:43 pm

      Have you tried NC yet?

      • Laura
        October 29, 2014 | 6:08 pm

        I’m in the middle of week 2 without seeing/talking to him with the exception of our weekly dinners. Should I get rid of those too?

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:19 pm


  14. Sabrina
    October 28, 2014 | 8:30 pm

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months and we had a strong relationship over the summer but ever since school started he seem to be more distant but he is a senior and i am a sophomore. He broke up with me about 3 days ago and he broke up with me over text message saying I didn’t do anything wrong and that he was just stressed out about school and wants to focus on his grades. After he texted me that I called him twice and he didn’t answer so i texted him the only reason I called him was to tell him how much of a classy move it was to break up with me over text message and that i knew i shouldnt have trusted him. He said he didnt answer the phone cause he was driving but then i told him it was fine because i didnt want to talk to him anymore anyways after how he treated me. Then he texted me back are you serious? and after that he texted me again how did i treat you? I know he is really busy right now with his friends and work and school but he’s always out with his friends till midnight but he had a hard time finding times to hang out with me and he never asked if I wanted to hang out i would always ask him and he would say idk maybe. the last day i saw him he said he had to go home at 5 and do laundry which i knew was a lie but didnt want to believe it. he hasnt texted me again after he texted me twice and i didnt answer when we broke up. And I havent texted him but we use to talk everyday.

    Do you think the no contact rule will work and he will miss me or do you think he forgot about me and is having to much fun doing senior stuff?

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:35 pm

      I think it will definitely have a positive effect!

  15. lee
    October 27, 2014 | 11:18 pm

    So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2.5 years. And recently for the past 2 weeks we have been fighting non stop. Mostly because he had planned a trip to Reno with some of his co-workers and lied to me about the details and I forgave him. So once he got back I let him rest from his crazy trip, but once he was all better I tried to reconnect with him intimately, but every time he would say how tired he was from work and was just not in the mood. So we fought about that for 4 days straight and finally one day I came home from work and I tried to talk to him about how I felt and he just said maybe we should break up and then left for work. I asked him why after we talked the next day and he just said it was because he didn’t want to feel tied down like he was already married and how he was only 22 years old and just wanted to be alone. But we live together so for the next 4 days I kept asking for a 2nd chance and that we should try to work things out and I know that sounds desperate, I was going throw a really depressed state of mind.Today, however I feel alot better, I finally stopped crying and have calmed down. Yesterday he told me that it was extremely hard for him to be in the apartment with me and that he still cared for me and misses me, but still wants to break up. I just really want him back but I’m not sure if there’s any hope anymore. What should I do?

    • admin
      October 28, 2014 | 4:30 pm

      Usually its the guy who fights with the girl over that not the girl… something is definitely off.

      I think NC is right up your ally!

  16. aggrivated
    October 27, 2014 | 2:46 pm

    My fiancé broke up with me about a month ago. We were engaged and together for four years. As any girl would be, I am devastated and want him back to try to work things out but he won’t talk to me. There are just so many questions that I do not have the answers to. I’m not going to lie about it, over the years our relationship was not always the fairytale. An important issue came up last year when we wanted to move in together. He had always told me that he wanted to live with a girl before getting married. I agreed because I honestly felt that way as well. When the time came, my parents got in the way and voiced their views that they wanted me to wait until getting married to move in. They are very religious. I am not and neither is my ex. We finally did move in together after a couple months. I had never really lived on my own before that. All along while we were living together, my ex told me numerous times that he wanted me to help more around the house, to do chores. I was busy with school finishing my degree and working part time. I had to go to my parent’s house often (every day) to take care of the family dog (he has heart disease) when no one was home. I was not helping him around the house as much as I should have. When he really voiced his opinion and got into an argument in May he took my engagement ring and I told him I promised to be better at helping out. It was around the time of his birthday and I decided to surprise him with a trip to St. Martin as a present and to try to rekindle our relationship. Ever since then there was not one day that I didn’t make sure everything was done around the house. After about a month (June) he ended up giving me my engagement ring back and the wedding planning was back on. Another issue was my parents wanted a catholic wedding, he did not, I did not care. This was a debate throughout the engagement. Finally in July after arguing about it he told me if having the wedding in a catholic church was the only way he could marry me then he would. He also went to my parent’s house and told them that he did not agree with it and said the same thing he told me. We agreed on a church and went to meet with the priest. We both signed papers saying that we wanted to marry each other with the intent of never getting divorced. Things seemed to be good after that for awhile but I had a few August I asked you just love me or are you in love with me? I told him I didn’t want an answer then and to think about it. He thought about it and told me he was in love with me and didn’t want to be with anyone else. Then September comes and we get into a stupid argument about a receipt, yes receipt. I ended up throwing my phone at the floor and he said “I’m done with this relationship.” We still lived together at this point. Then he tells me to move out of the house (I should have but didn’t) and I wrote him a letter, asked him to go out to dinner and read it to him. I asked him if he wanted to try to make it work or if he really wanted me to move out. He said he wasn’t sure so I tried to leave things as they were and go on with our everyday life. Things seemed a little off to me after that..he didn’t seem like he was trying so I nagged him a little to try when I should have taken things slow. In September a nice weekend was coming, he said he wanted to go to the beach and I suggested a certain one. He agreed and we took a mini weekend vacation. On the vacation he held my hand and we acted like a couple, at the beach I asked him if he wanted to try to make the relationship work and he said a part of him did a part of him didn’t. Everything was good for a couple days after that then all of a sudden out of nowhere he told me we have nothing in common, that I lie, we don’t like to do the same things, don’t communicate, he doesn’t like my parents getting in the way, and we’re on different levels then he kicked me out of the house. Now he won’t even talk to me. I kept trying to reach out in the first few weeks and nothing worked. What can I do to repair the relationship??? I have tried everything and just started the no contact. Is it too late to save what we had??? I miss him a lot and can’t believe he doesn’t miss me at all.

    • admin
      October 28, 2014 | 4:17 pm

      Definitely try the no contact on him!

      You are letting him getting away with stuff that he thinks he can get away with. The NC rule will turn the tables on him and make him view you in a different light.

      • aggrivated
        October 28, 2014 | 5:24 pm

        How is he going to know that things could be different if there’s no contact though?

        • admin
          October 29, 2014 | 2:24 pm

          Because after NC you message him and show him.

  17. candy
    October 21, 2014 | 2:59 am

    I broke up with my guy today…
    He shared a text with a friend that stated after hugging another friend at church he.almost forgot he had a girlfriend.
    This is the.second occurrence this year..previously he held a conversation with a.chic after midnight.via fb..and told her…had he.not been.a.good guy he would try to snatch her.up…. Waaaaaay.too much convo…dirty dog!!!
    I tolerance for that…we were together 11 week would be a.year..but I cannot and will not tolerate flirting etc..
    He was in.tears and pathetically gathered his things…saying he.dis not want is to end…
    I want him back… If.he enters a relationship.chances are.its going to.take a special person to put.up with his open mouthed snoring… Our crazy eating habits on.the.weekend… And more.personal flaws…
    Do you jave.any thoughts?

  18. Daniella
    October 16, 2014 | 7:01 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years, had some issues in the relationship just like many couples but overall was a very good relationship.
    He then decided after 2 years and after being on an amazing holiday with me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and that he didn’t want the responsibility of having a girlfriend. He’s 19 and I’m 21 and the first thing that comes to mind is that he wants other girls but he insists that isn’t the reason, he just simply wants to be alone. We still text every now and then and he tells me he misses me and wants me but ‘not right now’
    Everyone thinks we’ll get back together but I’m not so sure, he does love me and he does care for me (something happened and I needed him whilst we’ve not been together and he was there within an instant)
    I don’t know what to do to make him realise he’s made a mistake and to start chasing me back?

    He’s done this before, with the same excuse and he came back after 4 months, will that happen again?

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:59 pm

      Definitely do NC.

      I think you have a very good shot.

  19. layla
    October 14, 2014 | 9:12 pm

    Hey, so i met this guy, after 3 weeks of getting to know each other we got together, and after 2 months he broke up with me because i was jealous of him talking to other girls and he couldn’t handle it. I really love him like we really had a special bond, well i thought so anyway. But anyway after a week of breaking up We met “as friends” and was supposed to meet again but he blew me of so we didn’t speak, 2 days later i found out i was pregnant, so i told him and we agreed that i would get it aborted because of our age (him 16 me 17), and then said i should let him know when i have had the abortion, which i did about a week later, and since haven’t contacted him as i have heard about the one month no contact rule, its been 5 days, does anyone think he will come back?

  20. Alex
    October 14, 2014 | 4:51 pm


    Back in August my GF of 2 years +. Broke things up with me, I was supposed to move in with her in Sept. But got some cold feet due to my daughter who is 4 , After that she starting bringing up past arguments that were left open,

    Now it almost two months later we still have sex, we cry to each other she said its hard for her she hates being alone and misses me, after a night of us being with each other and having an amazing time together she gets cold on me and doesn’t answer my text until I start getting mad.

    I don’t know what to do, she I continue fighting for our relationship to get back, or should I quit, she tells me she doesn’t want me but this last week I’ve seen her three times and it’s been us like we always was

    Please give me some advise??

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:24 pm

      Hi Alex, by any chance have you seen my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery

  21. Samantha
    October 14, 2014 | 4:44 pm

    Hey Chris, I was dating my boyfriend for a year and because of a number of little arguments we had here and there, he kind of started snapping at me for a few days and I finally told him that needed to change in order for this to work out. That’s when he told me his heart wasn’t in this relationship anymore and he wanted to break up. I told him to really think about it for 2 weeks and we would talk then. I did NC in that period and went on a holiday and he was shocked that I took off so quickly and even asked me a week later how much longer I was going to be there for. After 2 weeks we met, but he said he wanted to stick to his decision and wanted to just “be alone”. He made it clear he wasn’t trying to date other people but really just wanted to be alone. In the next few days that followed, I kept my distance from him but we ended up texting each other back and forth and followed your rules of texting your ex and it really worked! I decided to initiate a coffee meet up, and we met and it was as if we were on our second date again. There was a lot of smiling and laughing and he would flirt with me by lightly touching my leg. At the end of the date, he kissed my cheek and said “I’ll see you very soon, ok?” Then a couple hours later he texted me to tell me it was nice seeing me. But then I texted him back and he didn’t respond. I didn’t say anything else for 2 more days, then I asked him a question, and he responded with two large texts, both positive.

    What do I do now? Is this a friend zone? How do I get us to grow the love and romance back? It’s been about 5 and a half weeks since we broke up and I’m worried after the progress we made in the last two weeks, if this dies off then we’ll be in the friend zone or he’ll move on. What tactics can I use?

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:23 pm

      How long did you makeit in the no contact period?

  22. Frustrated
    October 10, 2014 | 4:17 am

    Please don’t forget to respond to me… You asked a question and I responded to your question above… I need your help please. (Please see above)

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:35 pm

      I lost your question. I am so sorry. Can you repeat it for me?

      • Frustrated
        October 14, 2014 | 6:02 am

        October 9, 2014 | 1:34 pm
        Did you ever talk to him about why things were so different when you got back together?

        October 9, 2014 | 3:00 pm
        Yes, we spoke about it. He said said it was because he had told me that basketball season (he play professionally) would take a lot of his time, but I failed to understand (that is a lie, because he started distancing himself before basketball season already. I was not wen invited to a single game. His family ene wondered why I wasn’t invited to games cos his exes were always invited… Well, because he only came back after basketball season, there was nothing I could do about it but just accept his apology. I do suspect that there was someone in the picture that wa invited to the games other than myself. He also did mention that there was someone in the picture during our breakup. When I asked why he came back to me and left her… He said because to him it was just abou the sex…

        I have a feeling he’s a player, and I was used just for sex too. What’s your advice?

        Do you think he’ll come back?

  23. Destiny
    October 10, 2014 | 2:48 am

    My ex bf and I dated for 2 years and 3 months. We recently broke up and for about two or so days I didn’t talk to him. I then later started texting, when I first texted him, he texted back. I said I miss you and he replied good. I asked him if he missed me and he said no. I asked really? And he said really. Then I said wow okay then and he didn’t respond so I text later saying I got a phone today. He said cool I don’t care. Now leave me alone please. I said no I love you and you like it. He never texted back. I texted him the next day, no reply. I finally called him and he answered. Deep deep now inside of me I do believe he wants to be with me. He broke up with me. He got mad cause I had a snapchat then he began to say I don’t wanna be with you anymore. I don’t wanna be in a relationship anymore it’s not going anywhere. You don’t wanna marry me and other things. I know I’ve bugged him I just know inside he wants to be with me. I think the main reason is he wants to hang out with his friends and I never stopped him. I just don’t want to lose him. What should I do? He answers some of my calls but none of my texts.

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:32 pm

      You are acting WAAAAYYY too desperate.

      What do desperate people do?

      They ask if you miss them.

  24. Anonymous
    October 9, 2014 | 9:49 pm

    I’m currently doing the N/C thing after what seems a little while coming. To keep things short il just say a childhood sweetheart came back into my life after years of not speaking not due to any kind of bad feeling aimy because life took us in different directions.. Well one random day I got aessage from him via Facebook of him sayin how beautiful I have grown up to be.. We began speaking again, texts, phone calls etc. He then took me on a date after a month of just rekindling our friendship & building chemistry .. We were dating for 6 months. This is where it now becomes clouded..
    A date we planned to go on didn’t happen due to a miss communication on my part.. He was upset and contacted me that evening sYing how he feels like a fool because after the date he had booked us a hotel and brought me earrings as a surprise after what I thought wS just a casual trip to the cinimae.
    We had a argument that night I left it and have him space then contacted him to try resolve the misunderstanding nake plans to get things back on track.
    I askd if we could do it for a day we planned sumit together futher on In the week.. He said due to us not speaking he made other plans but would try change them so we could spend time together. I then went out d my way n made effort n tryd to surprise him back. The day comes a massive argument happens and that wAs when it ended.
    We spoke occasionally after for a short time befor I then asked if we could make plans just to have a face to face catch up as I missed him.. His funny behaviour continues he is being vage saying yes but not giving days to when he’s free. My frustration builds, I say something we fall out again. We’ve fallen into a rutine of going in circles now and I’m beyond fed up but still wanting us to just be us again :(
    We go a while again without speaking and I won tickets to c some football thing, totally not my cup of tea so I askd him if he wanted them. I got the friendly eager to talk to me response not really asking about the tickets but more asking me what I’m doing can he see me etc?
    I ayes it cool and didn’t reply till the morning.. That got his back up and he was annoyed and again he pulls back. While we are on good terms I ask him why he is showin no intrest in bein a friend” he replies he will always be my friend regardless and he does care n have feelings for me”
    I leave it as that and were getin on fine.
    I then go up to London for the day and that is where he lives so I text just asking if we could meet up for a hour while I’m here. He starts again being vaige”il let you know bub” I didn’t hear from him. Obviously I was upset because all it feels like is since that whole mis understanding and argents he’s pulling back more and more and I’m chasing which is frustrating me. Basicly from there I have left it as to say you say you have feelings and u care yet u can’take time. Slight contradictory behaviour but to think I’m here trying cause like a fool Iv fallen for u or something to that effect basicly telin him Iv fallen for him n he’s just taking the mickey playing games now n he won’t be hearing from me again. I get the hint.
    I hAvnt heard from him since not even a reply to that. None of this makes sense to me because befor the whole me not showing up misunderstanding his behaviour was never ever like this ino he has feelins for me. I’m feelin so confused and bad. Can you just shed some light on all this from a guys point of view cz I do t understand how it’s all flipped so fast I get Iv hurt him and pissed him of he but I’m tryin well did try to fix it and obvs Iv given up now because I’m feeling more and more let down and took for granted.

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:17 pm

      He seems to overreacted about the missed date in my opinion.

      However, I think maybe some type of NC can help you a lot.

  25. LouLou
    October 9, 2014 | 8:24 pm

    So, my ex boyfriend & I split about 2 months ago – his ex missus only lived round the corner from him and they have a child together, she also has other kids by different dads, who he seems very much attached to. He broke it off with me because he said he couldn’t open up to me emotionally, yet every week since our split, I hear from him. Within 48 hours of our split, he shared a bed with his ex, knowing how I felt about her.
    He says he loves talking to me, that he hasn’t been dealing very well since our break up and has been acting irrationally, and that when he is due to go into hospital, he wants it to be me there with him and no one else. The last time we spoke, I told him I needed no contact for a while, and yet this week I hear from him again. I was just starting to feel good without him in my life, and everytime he talks to me, my emotions go into turmoil. Some advice please?

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:12 pm

      Seems like he is still hung up on the ex a bit.

  26. Sharon
    October 9, 2014 | 2:42 am

    My bf just told me today that he doesnt want to talk anymore,that he can’t handle it right now. I am going nc but his birthday is in 2 weeks. I don’t know if I should do or say anything for his bday… He has a lot of stress right now and I hope we can get back. He lost his job. I’m not sure what to do we were together 2 months and he lost his job the 2nd week, we are in our 40’s.

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:48 pm

      Dont break NC for wishin him a happy birthday.

    • Olivia
      November 20, 2014 | 8:13 pm

      *definitely* don’t say anything for his birthday! Be strong and take your power back, girl

  27. Allison
    October 9, 2014 | 1:24 am

    My boyfriend and I just recently broke up and we have a child together this time. When I met him 2 1/2 years ago, I thought he was a complete a**. But over the time of knowing him and with him coming over to my house(oh, he was my ex’s best friend at first), I got to know him and he seemed like a nice guy. We started dating not too long after that, and after 8 months of being together, he broke it off with me. He couldn’t stand the constant nagging about stuff he didn’t do. I was too heartbroken and suffered a lot from it. Finally after 2 months of us being broken up, I got over him, moved out on my own, I was feeling good. About 3 weeks after that, he started to miss me and came crawling back and apologized deeply for everything that went down when we first broke up. We got back together and within 2 months of that, we got pregnant. Almost done my pregnancy, an issue comes up and I decided to end it because of how bad the situation got(long story short, he lied about being with another woman while we were separated the first time and got her pregnant). We broke up for 2 months. Again, he lied about something else, but we agreed to get back together because we loved one another, and NOT make it work for the baby, because that isn’t a good thing. Everything was going great, we got a house, and a dog, we were a family. But then again, my constant nagging got in the way and he got fed up with it and ended it. Both of us never changed, because of the way we were both acting towards another. I made it my official goal to him that I would change, but he would have to as well. He accuses me of being a crazy b***h, and that is his reasoning for breaking up. He’s done this to me before, same outcome, different situation. He says that he doesn’t hate me, and he’s willing to help me out with finding another place and helping me move, and that he still really cares for me, but he can’t be in a relationship. In your opinion, what is going on with his head. He’s giving up on a family because I’m a crazy b***h, that’s his only reason.

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:47 pm

      What have you done that makes him think that about you.

  28. Frustrated
    October 8, 2014 | 4:04 pm

    My story is a bit dramatic… Hope you can help… My bf and I dated for 2 months (it was the best experience I ever had in terms of romance). Then he started becoming a bit distant. I complained about the distance, but it didn’t change. We then broke up, then I read your guide. I implemented a 30 day nc rule… On the 37th day he contacted me by email… I was excited to see the email (I responded the following day). We had a catual chat over a few days, then he apologised and asked that we reconcile… We got back together… It was never te same again (he didn’t tell me he loved me and he didn’t address me by pet names, etc) – I actually suspected that he was back for sex… We were together for a month, then he just stopped taking my calls… Trust me, I still love him o bits and I miss him a lot… I’ve started another nc rule and am on day 10… A few days after my last attempt to call him, I put up great videos of myself at gym (Facebook), a few more days later, I put up pics of a grey weekend I ha with my friends at a biker rally, then lastly I put up pics of myself at a late dinner date (I made sure that he could see that there was two plates of good on the table in the pic)… Then the following day he unfriended me and blocke me on fb… Do you think I’m waist ing my time??? Or is there a chance that he misses me and will come back?

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:34 pm

      Did you ever talk to him about why things were so different when you got back together?

      • Frustrated
        October 9, 2014 | 3:00 pm

        Yes, we spoke about it. He said said it was because he had told me that basketball season (he play professionally) would take a lot of his time, but I failed to understand (that is a lie, because he started distancing himself before basketball season already. I was not wen invited to a single game. His family ene wondered why I wasn’t invited to games cos his exes were always invited… Well, because he only came back after basketball season, there was nothing I could do about it but just accept his apology. I do suspect that there was someone in the picture that wa invited to the games other than myself. He also did mention that there was someone in the picture during our breakup. When I asked why he came back to me and left her… He said because to him it was just abou the sex…

        I have a feeling he’s a player, and I was used just for sex too. What’s your advice?

      • Frustrated
        October 9, 2014 | 3:00 pm

        Yes, we spoke about it. He said said it was because he had told me that basketball season (he play professionally) would take a lot of his time, but I failed to understand (that is a lie, because he started distancing himself before basketball season already. I was not wen invited to a single game. His family ene wondered why I wasn’t invited to games cos his exes were always invited… Well, because he only came back after basketball season, there was nothing I could do about it but just accept his apology. I do suspect that there was someone in the picture that wa invited to the games other than myself. He also did mention that there was someone in the picture during our breakup. When I asked why he came back to me and left her… He said because to him it was just abou the sex…

        I have a feeling he’s a player, and I was used just for sex too. What’s your advice?

  29. Joe
    October 8, 2014 | 3:57 pm


    I was in relationship with a guy for three 3 months, we ended up a break
    Up 6 month ago as i did crying like shit infornt of him
    Because of my ex, he then left my country and told
    Me he does not promise to be back as our relationship
    Is not strong enough, however if when he’s back and if we both are avaible, we may together again!we stil then keep talking some time via phone, i guess i made him mad sometimes as well as i got hurt after a break up! The most recent chat in July he told he has no feeling with me anymore! And even get annoyed when i told him i just bought him a t-shirt! However, we still chat sometimes and he did share with me his family pic as well as the bad news of his family in August, in beging of sept he travel
    To an other country, we still chat sometimes but mostly he ends up
    Silent if my talk is too personal! In the midle of sept I
    Was bad to ask to much about his time there that finally he told me of course he will on dates whenever appropariate, he is single! I then discontact with him! But start Oct14 he is back to my country as his project here, he promise to let me know when he arrive but he did not do that untill
    I asked him if he is here ! He just passed by my place on last sunday night to take the t-shirt i bought for him and some
    Stuff he left at my place! We had a good communication mostly about his job and place for living here! I asked if i can see him again he told
    We can have dinner sometimes, he then left we chated when he got home, but i make a mistake next day and a day after when keep
    Chating with him he told me he cannt keep
    Up with daily chat as it takes his eneger and time
    And he does not have them at the moment! I was panic so as keep talking a lot and even asked him if i can have dinner with him on friday! He said
    No…! I was crazy!! I know i should make it slowly but i already
    blow everything up:( !
    Is there anyway to save this!? I still have feeling for him even 6 moths already from day he left! Especially he is now here so as i dont want to miss this chance, he told me he can leave after a month or depends so
    as i really under the pressure! :( i really want to
    Have him back!

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:31 pm

      6 months later and you are still in love with him?

      • Joe
        October 10, 2014 | 5:06 pm

        Yes! I guess! I still feel full emotional when i huged him last sunday and i know how i feel when i looked at him! But thins
        Ga seems harder for me now! I just sms today asking if i can pass by and give him a cake, he said “no”, i then felt totally panic and sending several messages ! We end up that he told me i stop
        Harassing him and dont want to receive those kind of sms anymore! I felt so awful and ask if i can see him to say sorry and i dont want to text as seems create a lot of misunderstanding(i was crazy) he told me he dont want! :( i cannt save anything right!? I miss him a lot and really dont want he leave my country in next month again! Is there any hope!?

  30. dee
    October 8, 2014 | 1:16 pm

    My bf and I were going on 6 months next week. I admit we broke up almost two weeks ago because I was jealous of his girl that’s a friend and him talking so much and hanging out at the fair. But we started to work things out and all of the sudden he says he’s done and can’t handle it cuz my guy friend that he doesn’t like took a picture with my son. My son isn’t my bfs kid. I’m scared the no contact will make him move on. What’s the most affective way to make him miss me? And how long would no contact have to be?

    • admin
      October 9, 2014 | 1:15 pm

      They hung out one on one? Him and this girl?

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