How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup

If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all. I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. I respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

How To Make Him Miss You (The Complete Steps!)

As I am sure you are already aware, making your ex boyfriend miss you (and potentially want you back) can be a tricky thing to do. It will take discipline, strategy and hard work (and even then you aren’t guaranteed to succeed.) However, I feel I have come up with an awesome way to not only make him miss you but to actually get him chasing you.

There is just one problem, the tactics I talk about are actually a little complicated and very detailed. So, while this page can help you make your ex boyfriend miss you it won’t do it as well as my E-Book does. So, when you get a chance (if you feel like it.) I recommend that you check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO:

My E-Book!

Everyone’s Advantage

roger federer

Before you even start using any “missing” tactics you have a pretty big advantage already. Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much? Oh, but it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

The Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

  1. You can both agree on the breakup and do it mutually.
  2. He can break up with you.
  3. You can break up with him.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup. We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct. Of course, there is one case where this might work as well.

The ONE case where you might not have this advantage.

  • If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

The ONE case where this will work EXTREMELY well.

  • If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

No Contact = “I Miss You”

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please visit Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

no eye contactThroughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme. The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

 You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for one full month. If during that month you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond.

Sounds pretty simple huh? Actually, I would say that this is the toughest part to trying to get your ex back. However, if you do it successfully not only will you improve your chances of potentially putting yourself in a position to get him back but you will make huge strides in making him miss you.

You see, men at their core (I should know because I am one) have some pretty strange thoughts after a breakup but I would say that most guys eventually get back to one core thought “she is going to be the first to contact me.” How do I know this? Because, that is exactly what I thought after a break up I went through. Sure enough, after 3 days of not talking to my ex she contacted me.

Using my example, have you ever stopped and wonder what would have happened if my ex hadn’t contacted me? Let me tell you. My confident claim of “she is going to be the first to contact me” would have turned into “why the &^*% hasn’t she contacted me?” Interesting flip of the switch huh? Soon, that anger of “why hasn’t she contacted me yet?” would cause me to realize just how much I miss having her in my life.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You

(For more information on the different things you can do to make him miss you please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape


There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. I wanted her immediately. I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her.

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

I dont care

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much. Just focus on the most important thing, you. Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and chill for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life


You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.” Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

Tactic 4- Hitting His Emotional Hot Buttons

hot buttons

Look, eventually the no contact rule end is going to end and a time is going to come where you are going to have to communicate with your ex. When you do contact him make sure you do it via a text message. Texting is viewed as non threatening and it will give you the ability to slowly push is emotional hot buttons. I recommend that you check out this guide on how to correctly text message your ex.

Tactic 5- Jealousy Can Be Effective IF Used Correctly


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way. It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

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2,602 Responses to How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
  1. Kelsey
    January 22, 2015 | 5:13 pm

    Okay so me and my ex josh didn’t date for very long but we were friends for 6 years 1st. see him and his baby mom gotten back together but me and josh still text like every day like before we always have been attracted to each other and I was wondering if there was a way of convincing him I’m the better women

    • admin
      January 23, 2015 | 4:11 pm

      Is josh with the baby mom?

  2. Manda
    January 21, 2015 | 6:49 pm

    I had been seeing this guy for about 4-5 months until things ended in December 2014. I’m stuck on what went wrong as we had a great connection.

    During our time together, I had to endure the passing of my grandfather which was hard (he had a similar experience a few months prior with his grandmother, so I guess he felt we were connected in this way). He was always there for me and always assured me that if I ever needed anything, he was there and wanted me to know that I was not alone.

    Also, I met his brother & wife while he met my brother & gf. Both sides said positive things which is great.

    There was only one time in our time together that I showed signs of “neediness” (while pms-ing I should add) which by his reaction, I could tell he did not like. However we moved passed it and everything seemed to be good.

    The following month, we had talked about meeting each others parents. His birthday came first and as it approached, he wasn’t even sure if he was having anything because of everyone’s work schedule & felt like it was too soon. A week later we had spoke about coming to my house for my brothers bday (& to meet my parents) He always told me that he wouldn’t mind meeting my parents. In the end, he didn’t end up coming as he did not feel comfortable and felt pressured.

    Then he started pulling away, fewer texts yet he still called and answered when I called?

    It got to a point where it was obvious something was going on so I asked. He told me the usual ” I think i just need space” and how he’s not ready (or mentally ready) for a serious commitment. I didn’t understand where this was coming from as it contracts everything he told me a few months ago (he specifically told me he was looking for something serious & to have that special connection with one person. He even said he had this with me) He admittedly told me “I know I rushed you and this is all my fault…”

    I asked what triggered it and he said it was that time I showed neediness as it made him realize how serious it got and meeting my parents was the cherry on the cake as he felt pressured to make an impression like he had to propose marriage to me or something (my parents have no expectations & are so relaxed)

    I get it now, he was scared because he started getting the same feelings he had in the past and he ended up hurt by another women. To avoid it happening again, he backs away. As hard as it is for me because I want to talk with him and show that I understand, I feel giving him space right now may be best.

    He ended with saying “I definitely still want to talk to you and be friends. I just don’t think its fair to you if I’m not ready”. All I said was “ok” (even though I know we can’t be friends) and we stopped talking.

    Two day later (Christmas eve) he texted me & I responded about 2 hours later after I had just left work. The next day we wished each other a Merry Christmas and he asked what I got as gifts. He even joked about how I was spoiled. Throughout each of these texts, I was the one with the final word.

    5 days later on December 30th ( I did not once initiate any contact) he texted me saying “hey how you’ve been? Adam told me he see you often” (Adam is his brother that works at the same company as me, just in a different department. Every time I saw his brother, I made it seem as though I was fine, joking around with him and not mentioning a word of my ex to him to show that I’m doing ok and I had a feeling it would get told to my ex).

    Again, I responded about 3 hours later saying and he never replied back. Now here’s where I made a mistake and let my emotions overrule. Later that night I texted him “are you home?” because I wanted to call him and see how he was doing. You can guess that he obviously did not respond.

    The next day at midnight was New years, I wished him a happy near year and no response from him again.

    A week and a few days later while going out with my friends for dinner, I had heard a commercial on the radio that was in reference to his work. I figured I’d text him that I had heard it and how it was awesome! :) ( I tried to send a text that was a spur of the moment & something light and casual) Again he did not respond. This coming Thursday will be 2 weeks since that text.

    I know I should be focusing on myself right now and I am however its hard sometimes. Please help

    • admin
      January 22, 2015 | 4:46 pm

      I understand.

      It is really hard when you want someone else so badly.

      • Manda
        January 22, 2015 | 4:51 pm

        So what is your advice? What should I do and is there the possibility of getting back together?

        • admin
          January 23, 2015 | 4:09 pm

          Can you do me a favor?

          What advice do you specifically want my help on? What would you like me to answer for you.

  3. Marie
    January 21, 2015 | 12:57 pm

    I need help, badly. So, my boyfriend of three years broke up with my about two nights ago-I’m a wreck. I did not see it coming, and friends did not see it coming. When he broke up with me, he said some hurtful things that I had a hard time believing-there was someone out there better (even though he constantly said I was perfect for him) he’s changed (when he really hasn’t) he doesn’t know who he is and what he wants (he’s such a confusing person). He said there was no hope of ever getting back together. But then a day ago, after I messaged him a distraught letter (I was confused and hurt, I wanted answers) he said the real reason he ended it was because he can’t love me like I need it right now-he wants to focus on himself, and his hobbies. I admit, I demanded a lot of time in our relationship, but he never brought up that it was an issue! After talking back and forth (he originally wanted a break) we decided on a break. I get to live my life and such, and he works by himself (which is what he says he needs). We have no long how long he’ll want this-one month, five months, he doesn’t know. I’m afraid he’ll get so used to sitting in front of his computer, working, that his social life will die, and he won’t even miss me. For communication, we decided on occasional (Message when something exciting happens-so maybe once every 2 weeks). I will never see him. I see your no communication rule, but just last night he was asking me for help with a writing blurb (I’m a writer). I want him back so badly it hurts-how do I get him to realize we ARE right for each other, and that ‘You’re going to miss me when I’m gone’. He said he’s never wanted two things in his life so bad-me, and to finish this project he’s always wanted to finish, and he feels like he can’t have both. He said he rushed into a relationship (Where was this three years ago?) and I just think he’s confused, stressed, and afraid of the future. Just a WEEK ago he was saying how excited he was to move in! By the way, I’m 21, he’s 22. What should I do? If he texts (which I doubt he will, which hurts so badly) should I not reply? What if he thinks I don’t want him anymore? If he thinks that, he WILL let me go. He’ll always saying how I deserve better. HELP!

    • admin
      January 21, 2015 | 3:27 pm

      What were his exact words?

    • alissa
      January 22, 2015 | 2:07 am

      Ive been seeing my man for three months, ive known him all my life. 15 years ago we had a son. So we have been off and on over many years. Hes my first love and I just cant give up on this man. We got in a fight over the phone . Afterwards I was so upset by what he said , I txted him some horrible things. I told him he was a horrible father , and I hoped that he went back to prison….yes, I know , I felt terrible aboit this, and still do. Wellbhe would not answer any of my txt or answer any calls. So of course I did apologize by txt , still no answer. I called him from another numberand he answered. He said he wasnt mad, but that he just couldnt deal with the bullshit and said he wouldnt. I told him I agreed that I was wrong and it would never happen again. I know im not suppise to beg him, but oike ive said ive know him all my life and we have loved each other for years. He always comes back, but now im scared I messed it up forever. Im devastated that I kessed this up when I know better. I want him back, but idk what to do.

  4. charmaine
    January 21, 2015 | 3:38 am

    Hi I was seeing a guy from work for about 3 months. He always wanted to keep it a secret that there was something happening between us and not just from work people. He never introduced me to his non work friends.
    Anyway I went on the pill after he kept asking me to and I had a bad reaction and turned into a psycho monster. After a minor incident I gave him an ultimatum change thins or end it and he told me that it was never anything more than no strings even though at the start he had lead me to believe it could be more as I didn’t want no strings. So in the heat of the moment I told him I was done. The next day I felt I had over reacted and told him I was sorry and I wanted to be friends. The day after that I felt even more regret at ending things and asked if we could talk so he said to come round the next day. On the day we were to meet up I sent a message asking what time to come round. I knew the message was at a time when he would be free but he never answered and several hours later I completely snapped and told him I wasn’t coming because he wouldn’t give me the answers I needed and accused him of being involved with a female friend of his and said we should be civil at work and that was it I didn’t want to see him anymore.
    He responded to that message with I need to keep my mouth shut he could say something back but wasn’t going to waste his time stop sending him psycho texts and I had just lowered myself in his eyes. I told him I would delete his number (which I haven’t done). And he said I had just lost a friend. He then unfriended me from Facebook.
    I went to the doctor and discovered the pill had altered my moods because I am not an emotional person and would never normally act this way. So I wrote him a letter as I couldn’t see him and it was too hard to explain in a text. I tried to explain that I wasn’t in control of my emotions and that affected my actions and I said he could contact me if he wanted to talk.
    He hasn’t contacted me and its been nearly a week should I persevere with the no contact thing or do you think he probably wasn’t all that interested in continuing our relationship anyway.

    • admin
      January 21, 2015 | 3:18 pm

      Did he ever introduce you as his girlfriend ever?

  5. Me
    January 19, 2015 | 6:04 pm

    My ex and I were together for 8 wonderful months. He broke up with me because he kept feeling like he wanted to be single and he felt there were some things he had to do as a single man (when asked to explain he said it was dating/talking to/sleeping with other women). I love him with all my heart and I know he loved me too. I figured out why he still wanted to be single (deep seeded abandonment issues and stuff from his past) and was willing to work with him. I still love and care about him but I’m lost, I want to contact him just to check on him (and I want my things back) but I also want him to contact me first. How long should I wait?

    • Me
      January 19, 2015 | 6:06 pm

      I should also clarify, he has said that he was scared because he has never loved someone like he has loved me and that he was scared to be vulnerable and let me in. Which is why I’m so lost and conflicted.

      • admin
        January 20, 2015 | 3:34 pm

        When did he say this to you?

        Right before the breakup?

        • Me
          January 21, 2015 | 12:44 am

          He said that a month or more before we broke up, when the issue first came up actually.

    • admin
      January 20, 2015 | 3:35 pm

      Wow, he was very honest wasn’t he?

      Wait the 30 day period like I suggest.

  6. Hannah
    January 18, 2015 | 10:35 am


    So I found out about 2 weeks ago my boyfriend had been cheating on me for the last 6 months. Slightly strange situation in that he’s taken this work placement, and the place he’s at is completely known for being a bit crazy-party-girls and many people have said it is completely impossible to be there and have a girlfriend. I thought we’d done quite well but it seems I was wrong! Anyway I live in England, he’s in America, when I found out I was in America with him… I initially told him it was over, but I had 4 more weeks there and knew no one else there, so he begged me to give him that time to prove himself to me. The last 4 weeks have been amazing, we haven’t stopped laughing, he’s been an amazing boyfriend he really has, but I still can’t get over the fact he cheated. I came back to England yesterday and told him I need a break, he said he understood but said he knows this isn’t forever. Says he’ll fight for me and I’m the love of his life so he knows it’ll work out in the end. He asked if we could talk and be there for each other and not see other people. I said yes.
    I know I should initiate no contact but I really don’t want to. I really love him so much, and feel like he loves me too, I guess I just need to see him fight for me and don’t want to just forgive so easily that he feels he can just do it again. He also only has 3 more weeks on this work placement but I’m scared if I initiate no contact he’ll go and sleep with this girl again and then I just wouldn’t ever be able to forgive him… What do I do??

  7. minnie
    January 17, 2015 | 6:03 pm

    i am in huge trouble
    i dont know what i must be doing as of now
    i and my ex were dating since last three years
    there were some misunderstandings my ex had regarding me
    so he decided to leave me
    i tried to stop him but he did not want to
    i decided to wait for him
    he came back
    we cleared everything
    but now he says he cannot be anything more than friends with me
    he now likes a girl whom he had a crush on since we wre dating and is planning to be with her in future
    he calls me quite often
    we even kissed the last time we met
    but yet again
    he says we are just friends
    i dont know what he exacty wants
    please help me figure out

    • minnie
      January 17, 2015 | 6:14 pm

      i have already waited for him for one long year
      i dont want to loose him again
      i love him a lot
      even he did before all those misunderstandings
      please tell me what i must do now

  8. aneeha
    January 9, 2015 | 3:11 am


    Firstly I would like to thank u for this wonderful guide which is helpful to so many girls. It actually helps to understand better about guys and their heads but im in problem. I am in love with this guy from past 5.5 years. Our relation started on rough note wherein he constantly said that m not his type of girl and he doesn’t want me in his life and won’t marry me as v belong to different religion and also our relationship was more kind of a deal wherein v would b involved only physically… But gradually things changed between us and v both feel in love. After few years of being together v decided to let our parents know about us and our desire to marry each other. But as I said earlier v belong to very different religion and our parents protested to our love. V went through many hardships to convince them but to no use. Then suddenly he went to other city for work and Our relationship grew very strong after he came to our home town he got me introduced to his sister… But there were cold vibes from both of us and v had a major fight on front of her which suddenly made him loose interest in me. I tried my best to get back him in our relationship which was successful to certain extent but still there was something lacking in us. N now today after reading ur article last night I dropped him message saying that if he doesn’t want to b my lover or bf and don’t wish to marry me then it’s better v break up once n for all and move on in life…. From past few months he constantly tortured me by saying v r not meant to b together. I should find some other guy. He wanted to get married long back but because I was clinging to him he couldn’t move on. He said many hurtful things which later he apologize saying that he don’t mean it and it was in fit of rage. Even I have become violent due to this and m in depression right now. My Frds tell me to move on as he is not the right guy for me but I know he is the only one for me. I still love him even after he said he never loved me but just wanted to make peace with situation. I am planning to do the NC thing. Do u think he will ever come back to me if I do it??? I fear him moving on or rather worst getting married to someone else as he is 32 yrs. His parents r pressuring him to get married. Even my parents are doing it to me but to their choice, what shall I do.. I don’t know… Do u think I did right by telling him v should move on and by starting NC?? Will he ever miss me and come back to me???

    • aneeha
      January 9, 2015 | 3:33 am

      It’s been a week of NC that it has started…. But no sign of him missing me. No call no msg. He even deleted me from his facebook and have started adding new girls. Adding around 10 girls till now from this new year.. He doesn’t miss me. He seems to b very happy with me not talking to him. Also before I told him that it’s better v should break up and move on it was just a act to get the NC started I messaged him the night before it saying that I love him alot and he is the one for me and all the emotions and love I always felt for him and till now feeling it. He called me the next day but I didn’t receive his call and from their on he has not even bothered to know why am i not taking to him. It’s hurting me and m going crazy over this. He seems to b enjoying his single time mingling with other girls… M feeling very nervous and angry and sad and also frustrated on him for not missing me… Do u think m doing the NC right?? Do u think he is missing me or will he try to communicate with me in next few days…. Plz plz tell me…I did check his fb page daily and also check on WhatsApp if he is online or no… Well m going mad..

      • aneeha
        January 14, 2015 | 9:25 am

        Yesterday I called my ex bf when I saw his new pic on Facebook… I couldn’t imagine him to b happy with out me but he seems to b happy and enjoying his life without me. Yesterday after I called him I blasted on him abused him and accused him and even cursed him. Initially even he blasted me on saying why I didn’t receive his call when he called me but as I was following NC I didn’t receive. But then he told me he is in office and will call me later. Then in night he called me he abused me saying his granny died tonight and that was because of me and my curse. He called me what not name. Then I messaged him about being sorry and all I called him again in night but he told me I should not expect anything from him and he don’t want me to b his life partner. He is very firm on his decision and now m totally devastated and don’t think I can continue living this. He is talking very rudely with me even today and he told me not to call him for next few days as he went to his granny’s house. He hates me and I hate myself… M planning to end my life today…I can’t live anymore with this kind of treatment. U seem to b busy and not responding to my comments. I really don’t know what to do with this useless life. For me end is good for me as it will relieve me from my suffering. Bbye

        • Barbara
          January 20, 2015 | 5:05 pm

          Aneeha, don’t even think about ending your life! And over a man? You have to go through some pain in life. We all do. Get some help and support from a live person. You need to talk to someone asap. Respond if you want to talk to me. I am here for you.

    • admin
      January 19, 2015 | 3:27 pm

      One question.

      How long did you date him for? 5.5 years or was that the time thats passed from the breakup.

  9. Ellie
    January 9, 2015 | 2:36 am

    Hi! Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 3 years. We were high school sweethearts and practically inseparable. No one ever thought that our relationship would end. Honestly, neither did I. He started becoming more irritable over time. It turns out he was drinking with his “buddies” behind my back. I started fading and so did he. I didn’t want my future to be with someone who is angry all the time and drinking, but I truly did love him. I guess he felt trapped, also with other influences he started going back to his very old ways from the past. I also knew that when we broke up, he still loved me as well. Although it was mutual, I never expected it to happen. We did go through the no contact period. Of course we had our breaks here and there contacting randomly. He would text my mother asking if I was okay. We saw each other a couple times before the holidays, we were intamite yet he was very distant after. Then during the holidays, he was all about my family and me. He began treating me exactly like he used to. Except texting wise, and trying to be together all the time, the opportunities we have had together he has been acting like we never broke up. He gave me back my jewelry as a Christmas present. He made me open it when I wasn’t around him. He said he forgot the note he was going to put in the bag with my jewelry. He acted excited about giving me this surprise gift for days (the jewelry). When I opened it, I texted him “thank you it was really nice, blahblahblah”. I was trying to act nonchalant about it because I didn’t know how I feel. Every time I asked him about the note over text he avoided it. Then when he saw me in person he said it was going to say “You have more use for it than I do”. Then after that he was all over me again. When we are together, he acts like he cares. When we text he is very short, takes forever to text back, or doesn’t text back at all. Like I said he doesn’t go out of his way to see me, but then he seems curious about what I am doing at points. I really love this kid, but I am so confused and I have no idea what to do. I don’t know if I should give up or just be patient. I don’t know how to react to him when he is not as responsive in text messages as he is in person. I don’t know if he is trying to keep himself protected from me again or what? We had such a great bond that so many people admired. He was my best friend… Ugh just give me some guidance please! Thank you :)

    • admin
      January 19, 2015 | 3:26 pm


      He is probably protecting himself. My money is on that insight.

  10. suchi
    January 9, 2015 | 1:41 am

    I was in a relationship of two years! we had a very deep relationship! but we ended up at last! we used to had so many mess at the end of our relationship because I m crazy! but I was stingy and I always kept or begged him to stay with me! yeah I did mistake but not serious anything… they were like shouting at him disobeying him scolding like that! but we broke up finally at last and it’s been almost one and a half month…I made a friend and I put a picture on my whatsapp profile .in the picture I wrote some description about how my 2014 year was gone and thanked him for being a good friend and put his face from one of his pictures on my profile pic.then my ex texted me:”ur new bf is cool.I m really happy that u moved on” I answered him that he is not my bf .he replied”hahaha really I m happy cause u don’t have to lie” I didn’t answer him of his friend then texted me to make everything OK with my bf .I told him it’s not possible. but he still kept saying to call my bf..meanwhile my ex texted again that”sorry on my friend’s behalf. u carry on ” after ten minutes I answered that its OK and he didn’t send anything back..oh I forgot to add that he texted me six days earlier before that day and asked about my study and where was I.I love him so much.I m 18 and he is 19..what should should I do now? I m lost ,please help me :(

  11. anonymous
    January 8, 2015 | 11:42 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me after a year of being together. He said I was disrespectful in the things that I said to him (cursing). He also said I did not trust him. He also told me he was no longer happy and he was miserable. Both of those are true. I have been holding onto yhe things he did in the past and it caused me not to trust him. A few months into our relationship, I found out he was giving out his number on social media and telling girls he was single. There were also girls sending naked pictures and videos to him. This is when I stopped trusting him. After I saw these things we went to counseling but did not complete the sessions. We had plans to gets married this July but those plans are clearly ruined. He said he still loves me, but is not in love with me anymore. He says his happiness now comes first, not mine. What can I do to get him back? Can I get him back?

    • anonymous
      January 8, 2015 | 11:50 pm

      This is not the first time we have broken up, but I think I may have lost him for good this time. I really do love him and want to be with him again.

  12. Ruthie
    January 7, 2015 | 12:28 am

    My ex and I were together for a couple of months. When I first laid eyes on him, I knew that I wanted to be with him. Through a mutual friend we connected and talked on a daily basis for a month. We both agreed that it was just going to be companionship because he had just gotten out of a relationship and I wasn’t in a place be in one either. Three weeks later, someone had asked him what I was to him and he looked at me and told the person I was his girlfriend. That same night he told me he was falling in love with me. The next day I told him that I loved him. We moved really fast; we were always spending time with each other. He would suggest for things for us to do but because it was starting to get busy at his work place we never got around to doing anything. We broke up once for a week because he felt like he needed space. We started hanging out again and when his busy season was over, he never got around to fulfilling any of the promises he made me. He made plans with his friends to do this and that but never had time for me. One day I asked him if he was going to spend Saturday with me and he said he wasn’t sure because he had already made plans with his friends. I told him when he has time to spend with me, just let me know. He broke it off again saying he needed space. He said it wasn’t goodbye forever. I told him that I’m not okay but I will be and that he broke my heart. I finally got around to blocking his number today. I haven’t talked to him in three days and finally texted him today to throw the stuff I left behind out. He said okay and that he hopes I’m doing okay. I just said thanks, you as well and that was it. Deep down, I still want us to work but I can’t do this whole breaking up and getting back together anymore. The first time we broke up and got back together, I asked him what does he want out of this, he said he doesn’t know but we eventually snowballed into our old ways. I can’t get over the sweet little things he did: he knows that I’m always cold so he’ll warm up the bed with a heating pad before I get in; I remember the day I had to fly out and right before he left for work he kneeled right next to me and held my hand in both of his and kissed it-I could see the sunlight streaming in behind him; he always made sure the first thing I did when I walked through the door or before I left for the day was to give him a kiss. I’m so conflicted and hurt. I don’t know what to do. I thought I found the love of my life but unfortunately I’m not his.

    • admin
      January 19, 2015 | 2:53 pm

      Have you attempted any form of NC yet?

  13. Katie
    January 6, 2015 | 2:27 am

    Okay so me and my now ex were together for 3 years. We’ve known each other since elementary school, so we have a long history. I have an almost 4 year old who he has helped raise because my sons father walked out and my son loves my ex as if he was his father, but knows he’s not. We were all n the process of buying a house together and then just randomly he told me he thinks we’re in two different chapters in our lives. He wants to be a kid still and I’m ready to grow up and he doesn’t think we’re on the same page. He said because of his relationship with my son he still wants to see him, but I think that might be kinda weird. While moving my things out I asked him to go get a box out of my car (I bought them to start packing for our move to our new house) and he got mad and said “wtf, did you plan on this happening ?” And I told him no and he said “yea right whatever” and when I asked him to help me he replied “it’ll make things harder” but still helped me move all of my stuff. We haven’t spoken since the breakup. I don’t know what made him do this the day before we were perfectly fine and then he does this. My son keeps asking for him and I want to text him so bad but I don’t at the same time. I feel like I sit here and stare at my phone just hoping he’s gonna text me , but he doesn’t

  14. lariene
    January 5, 2015 | 8:23 pm

    Hey…..well I wanted to share the story that has been Bugging me for quite a while,cause a problem shared is a problem half solved.My ex broke up with me sum 3 weeks back and I intiated the NC rule a week after the break up.I really do want him back….we have been for about a year,long distance relationship.I truly love him and seriously want to get him back,but I seriously do not know how to un-do what I did to him,and I wonder if he still holds it against me

    • admin
      January 6, 2015 | 1:57 pm

      Are you still long dsitances?

      • lariene
        January 6, 2015 | 2:32 pm

        No right now he is home for the holidays…..He will be leaving early february

      • lariene
        January 6, 2015 | 2:37 pm

        Please help me what should I do,I don’t want to lose him

  15. Grace
    January 5, 2015 | 5:11 pm

    Would you say 5 months post split seeing each other at the gym could be worth a shot? I also have a friend who lives down the road from the gym I know he and a mate of his go to, as well as a friend who recently got a membership there. I have one for that chain of gyms just never been to that one in particular before. We no longer have each other’s numbers as my phone died and I have a new phone and number which he obviously doesn’t have. And don’t have each other on any other social media platform other than snapchat as no longer Facebook friends as he was seeing another girl / sleeping with her and he didn’t want me to see anything he thought may hurt my feelings. When we split, it was amicable. We both weren’t in situations where a relationship was best. Not that there were no feelings, merely that he didn’t want to waste my time. We ended up having phone sex, which I regret because that was a stupid idea initiated by him. But it had been just like old times I really just got caught up in the fact things hadn’t changed.

    Honestly, I feel a little silly for even wanting to make him miss me, so to speak but I feel if given a second shot at things as circumstances are different now, it may very well work. I didn’t expect to miss him this much after this amount of time and if things don’t work out, I guess that’ll be it. But I’d rather try and fail and know it’s not meant to be than never know. You know?

    • admin
      January 6, 2015 | 1:52 pm

      I understand.

      I think the gym might be a good non threatening way.

  16. Melissa
    January 5, 2015 | 3:37 pm

    Hey i was seeing this guy for 5months,everything was tremendously loving and exciting,at some point i thought i could spend a huge amount of my life with him,we were great until he started acting different after we reached almost 4months,he started canceling dates,ignore me and everything else that made me worry then after a few days he is just normal again,a week ago he msg me saying he cant hold me back anymore he cant keep me holding on,he is an emotional wreck,a big mess and he is not as strong as he thought he was to mend my broken heart,we both came out of terrible relationships,i think hs past is haunting him and whenever things get serious he pulls away,i obviously respected hs decision cos i would never stand in hs way and i told him that,both of us were crying when we spoke but i didnt beg him to stay instead i wished him luck and told him to take care of himself,i couldnt be selfish to make him stay,its been a week we havent contact each other since we last spoke and im not planing on contacting him anytime soon,we in no contact tho besides on fb hs got a new phone he didnt bother giving his number to me and i also didnt bother asking him,i miss him so much i wish there was someting i could do to help him,what should i do?

    • admin
      January 6, 2015 | 1:49 pm

      Do you have any idea what caused him to become flaky all of a sudden?

  17. Rhia
    January 1, 2015 | 11:51 am

    At the breakup he said he doesn’t know what he wants that’s he still cares but he needs to be alone. He also said he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I asked if there was really nothing I could do and he said no whats done is done, please help, I miss him awfully, and I know what went wrong, and I would do anything to fix this ! He genuinely makes me happy, and even though we’re not together, when I got a reply for wishing him a happy new year, my heart skipped a beat, I really need your help!

  18. Samantha
    December 30, 2014 | 10:13 pm

    I need some advice, badly. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up early September and I spent the last 4 months doing a combination of things you’ve suggested. Initially I got him interested in me after some NC (not 30 days, 2 weeks) and texting him the way you suggested. Finally after meeting up a few times, he seemed to be getting more romantic and more into the ‘relationship’ that was re-developing. I asked him to come with me to a holiday party though, and he said he needed to think about it because he felt like he was still trying to figure things out. I told him I thought we were on the right path and wanted to give our relationship a fresh start and he said he wanted some time to think about that because he didn’t want to break up again.

    In total, 4 months went by from the moment we broke up until now. A week before I left home to my parent’s house for the holidays we went on a romantic date together and I asked him if we could spend NYE together this year and he said he hasn’t had time to think about it but we would talk over the holidays. A few days we spoke and he said he no longer wanted to be in the gray area with me and wanted to go our separate ways and move on because he didn’t feel like a second chance on our relationship would be any different than the last time. I asked him what exactly made him think this way and he said it was the past. I’m devastated he would think so after everything I’ve done and the amount of patience I’ve shown.

    I love him and I really believe we are meant to be. If he could only let go of the past. Do you think I should try a 30-day NC and start over and begin the process all over again? Or do you think I should stop or try something entirely different?

    • admin
      January 5, 2015 | 2:59 pm

      Yes, you are giving him way too much power. HE should be trying to ask you out and not the other way around.

  19. mell
    December 29, 2014 | 7:48 pm

    He told me that he’ve never loved me more than a “friend” after 2months of relation and one year of a story . What should i do ??

  20. Sharon
    December 24, 2014 | 3:15 am

    I’ve been with a guy a little over a month now. Recently we decided to make it official…. well we had our very first argument two days ago and he wound up telling me he might love someone else. I had no idea because he told me there was absolutely nobody else… but apparently he had been dealing with a married woman before meeting me. He says he wants to end things with her and be with me but he has been ignoring me and i want him to feel bad. What should I do????

    • admin
      December 29, 2014 | 2:28 pm

      Whoa… in love with someone else?

      Were you aware that he had been seeing someone else?

  21. kelly massenburg
    December 23, 2014 | 3:48 am

    i been dating my bf for 3 months and now we broke up because he cheated and i didnt suppose to have a bf till a certain age but i dated him anyways what should i do to get him back

    • admin
      December 23, 2014 | 3:22 pm

      Nc rule.

      Read this site.

    • samantha
      December 24, 2014 | 12:26 am

      My ex and I were together for over a year. He said some really hurtful things in the break up such as: I dont and wont ever want to marry you, I want to see other people, and I love you I’m not in love with you. Is there ANY hope here? At all?

      • admin
        December 29, 2014 | 2:24 pm

        Sure there is hope!

        I think he was saying those mean things from a place of anger and hurt.

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