How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all. I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. I respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

How To Make Him Miss You (The Complete Steps!)

As I am sure you are already aware, making your ex boyfriend miss you (and potentially want you back) can be a tricky thing to do. It will take discipline, strategy and hard work (and even then you aren’t guaranteed to succeed.) However, I feel I have come up with an awesome way to not only make him miss you but to actually get him chasing you.

There is just one problem, the tactics I talk about are actually a little complicated and very detailed. So, while this page can help you make your ex boyfriend miss you it won’t do it as well as my E-Book does. So, when you get a chance (if you feel like it.) I recommend that you check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO:

My E-Book!

Everyone’s Advantage

roger federer

Before you even start using any “missing” tactics you have a pretty big advantage already. Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much? Oh, but it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

The Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

  1. You can both agree on the breakup and do it mutually.
  2. He can break up with you.
  3. You can break up with him.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup. We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct. Of course, there is one case where this might work as well.

The ONE case where you might not have this advantage.

  • If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

The ONE case where this will work EXTREMELY well.

  • If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

No Contact = “I Miss You”

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please visit Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

no eye contactThroughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme. The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

 You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for one full month. If during that month you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond.

Sounds pretty simple huh? Actually, I would say that this is the toughest part to trying to get your ex back. However, if you do it successfully not only will you improve your chances of potentially putting yourself in a position to get him back but you will make huge strides in making him miss you.

You see, men at their core (I should know because I am one) have some pretty strange thoughts after a breakup but I would say that most guys eventually get back to one core thought “she is going to be the first to contact me.” How do I know this? Because, that is exactly what I thought after my most recent break up. Sure enough, after a day of not talking to my ex she contacted me.

Using my example, have you ever stopped and wonder what would have happened if my ex hadn’t contacted me? Let me tell you. My confident claim of “she is going to be the first to contact me” would have turned into “why the &^*% hasn’t she contacted me?” Interesting flip of the switch huh? Soon, that anger of “why hasn’t she contacted me yet?” would cause me to realize just how much I miss having her in my life.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You

(For more information on the different things you can do to make him miss you please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape


There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. I wanted her immediately. I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her.

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

I dont care

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much. Just focus on the most important thing, you. Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and chill for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life


You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.” Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on.

Tactic 4- Hitting His Emotional Hot Buttons

hot buttons

Look, eventually the no contact rule end is going to end and a time is going to come where you are going to have to communicate with your ex. When you do contact him make sure you do it via a text message. Texting is viewed as non threatening and it will give you the ability to slowly push is emotional hot buttons. I recommend that you check out this guide on how to correctly text message your ex.

Tactic 5- Jealousy Can Be Effective IF Used Correctly


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way. It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

Sarah and Kai

The Sarah Vs. Kai Case Study

Put your email in the box on the right to follow along as I show two women exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.Right Arrow

2,175 Responses to How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
  1. N.
    April 19, 2014 | 8:35 pm

    Dear Chris,
    I REALLY NEED YOU HELP! (First of all: sorry if my english isn’t that good, I’m german ;-)). My boyfriend broke up with me 7 weeks ago. First of all he did’nt wanted to give me a reason but finally told me that he had feeling for his colleague (wich is actuelly not his colleague anymore). I could not believe it. YES, I read his messages on his cellphone and YES I know I’m not supposed to. He texted her after 3 (!) days after our breakt up (and we still live in one flat together but sleep in seperate roomes and I’ll move out at the end of may. By the way: we have been together for 4,5 years.). So I found out that he texted her and he seemed very brash. He sent her messages even she did not ask his prior message (normally he is more the shy and conservative guy). So I found out that they have met so far 4 times within the last seven weeks. He even text her that he “could text her for hours but unfortunatelly he needs to sleep right now” but I feel like she does not veeeery responsive. For example it’s always him who starts the conversation and never her. She don’t ask him very much and is always “bussy” – thats why they just met 4 times until now. By the way: this girl had a short affaire with another colleague just some weeks ago (he might think it would have been easier to get her than it acually seems to be?)… You have to know that I try really much to come across as I totally accept his decission. I go out a lot, dress myself sexy, laugh a lot, try not to cry infront of him, do a lot of sports,… But I wrote him a letter last weekend. In this letter I told him I totally accept the situation and still respect him. I told him the reason why I am writing this letter would be that I was remindet this day about one funny moment we had together in the past. And this made me think about when we blablabla do you rememeber how funny that was? blabbla do you remember that beautiful day in blabla…
    You know, I just wanted to remind him about our wonderful times we had. He even wrote me back to thank me for “that great letter.” and that he thinks it’s “remarkable in which way I deal with our situation” and that we really “had so many wonderfull moments” and that he is “glad that he “had this moments with me”. My letter is still lying next to his bed and the valentines card I gave him is still IN HIS BED??!
    Furthermore I work as a flight attendent and was abroad during my birthday 3 weeks ago. When I arrived home (in OUR appartment) he cleaned the appartment, bought me food and even a birthday present. (Later I found out that he met his colleage even on THAT day – MY birthday!). Nevertheless I still think he is not over me – I see that in his eyes. I see that when he watches me dressing up for getting out and even when he gets up at 3 clock in the morning when I get home just to say “hello” and ask me how my evening / night has been. I mean – if he really did’nt care, would he do this??! I am totally confused so much! I don’t know what this means that he meets this other girl (I never talk about her, never ask him about her,…) and it really drives me CRAZY when he is not at home I think he might meet her right now. It really makes me losing my mind though I try to be cool infront of him.
    I don’t know what to do next. It’s impossible to hold on the “no contact rule” right now because, as I said, we still live together. Furthermore I don’t even know if I really have a chance to get him back because he is already dating someone else (which might be a rebound?..). Do you think she is a rebound? Have I chances to get him back? What should be my next step?
    PLEASE PLEASE help me – I am going crazy and just do not know what to do… Thank you so much!!!
    Happy easter!!

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 3:49 am

      I believe my last name is german (Seiter)

      You are going to have to find a way to hold NC

  2. Sammiya
    April 19, 2014 | 11:12 am

    Hi, My ex and I broke up almost two months ago and we were dating for 6 years. We both have seen ups and too many downs in our relationship but somehow we both managed to made it work. I love him a lot but this time I have decided to move on and I think so has he. My question might sound silly to you but I just wanna know is there a way to make him miss me? I haven’t spoken to him in weeks because the last time I tried to get in touch with him, he was rude and made it clear that he doesn’t want me in his life. I don’t want him in my life either so thats fine but just the fact that I still miss him and he doesn’t hurts me a lot. The fact that he doesn’t value the 6 years we spent is killing me. I just keep expecting a text from him but somewhere I know that i’m not going to get one. I just wish he missed me as much as I miss him…it hurts to know that he has moved on so easily. To think I meant so little to him.

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 3:35 am

      He will definitely miss you without you even having to do anything (just give it some time.)

      6 years is a long time.

  3. jade
    April 19, 2014 | 8:43 am

    Hi my bf and I was together for 3months I broke up with him bc he said he would go see a girl he claimed to like but also claim they were just friends. So for two days he did not text me and I did not either. He finally texted me I started talking about why we broke up then he ignores me. So I texted him again saying so your going to ignore me, he replied he got busy and was taking what I said in. I then said ok well when you gonna come get your things. He replied so…? I said what? He ignores me again. I am very confused on what to do? I need help. He is the type to be so emotionally unavailable. Does not care about much which is why I found it surprising that he even txted me. I feel if I do no contact then I will really push him away

    • jade
      April 19, 2014 | 8:48 am

      Considering he does not care. I feel maybe the reason he contacted me was to see if I still cared and once he got the confirmation, it was back to the breakup. We broke up alot during those 3months bc I could not handle his careless passive attitude. Hes a great guy besides that very smart and helpful. I feel we can be something. I just dont know what to do. I never right responses but seeing that you actually respond to your readers im hoping you can redirect me on things. Please help.

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 3:32 am

      Did you try NC yet?

      It’s kind of important.

  4. shelly
    April 18, 2014 | 7:32 pm

    Ok ive been using no contact and its working like a charm! My question is how should i act towards him once were back on speaking terms?

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 3:25 am

      did you read any of the articles on this site? I cover this extensively :)

  5. VELMA
    April 18, 2014 | 6:40 pm

    I have known my friend for 30 yrs. we were good friends at school. We are both 46. We met up 2 years ago and have been together.. No over night but see each other a couple times a week. (christian) He called me and told me he was sorry he tried and wanted this to work because I am a great person but he cant stop thinking about his ex he dated before me…They were broken up for a year before we got together.He told me it was not fair to me that he could not commit all of himself to me as his mind and heart was still with her. They are together now.. He still sees me sundays at church and he is still friendly as he still wants to be friends we just do not hang out anymore and the other stuff.. Is there anyway he will realize he actually loves me and wants me back?

    • admin
      April 20, 2014 | 3:21 am

      Have you tried advancing things at all via text or phone calls?

  6. Jalia
    April 18, 2014 | 3:05 pm

    My ex and I were together for 3 weeks. Yesterday he texted me and said he can’t be with someone that doesn’t trust him and that we should take a break. I told him that I do trust him and we haven’t texted since then. On instagram he took “taken” of of his bio, so I did the same. I really miss him and I don’t want to take a break. I feel like taking a break just means breaking up, not coming back to each other. Do you think he will want to come back to me soon? I’m really sad and need some distractions for a while. What should I do? I’m not ready to give up on him.

  7. nika
    April 18, 2014 | 10:25 am


    we just breakup last night with my bf and i want him back as soon as possible…..

    ppllllzzzzz hheeellpppp ….

    • admin
      April 18, 2014 | 3:57 pm

      Have you read the stuff on this site?

  8. Loni
    April 18, 2014 | 12:24 am

    My boyfriend came to my house Monday and because I was a brat he broke up with me. I pushed him into it because instead of being open to a talk about some issues we were having, I was mad and therefore, I was defensive and mean. The one thing he said he needs from me that I don’t give him is “me time”. He also says my timing is bad, which it is. Example we have a great weekend and Sunday morning I ask him what he meant last week when he said he was scared to love me. We each have a necklace with the other persons name on it. I called him this morning and asked him if I could speak with him and said yes. He came over, hugged me very tight, I spoke to him from my heart, I cried, he had watery eyes and he said that he is not throwing us away, right now he would like to take some time to think about us and what to do next and would prefer to not answer my question: can a be his lady again. When he left, he hugged me again very tight, kissed my lips. He also still had on the necklace with my name on it. I’m just so crushed and I know I can’t contact him now. We spent almost every night together for the past 2 months, we have spent time with his young girls together, he was told me he adores me, wants to make me happy, wants me in his life, don’t want to lose me, but I kept pushing for more and pushed him away. I want things back to the way they were last week and I’m so scared I have bombed badly. Any advice would be appreciated.

    • admin
      April 18, 2014 | 3:27 pm

      What were the issues?

  9. lensymphony
    April 16, 2014 | 2:32 pm

    Chris Seiter you are very cute ;-)

    • admin
      April 16, 2014 | 4:04 pm

      Thanks I guess…

      Aren’t you here to get your boyfriend back though?

  10. Abigail
    April 15, 2014 | 8:27 pm

    I have been in a 9 year relationship my ex cheated and I exposed to him to my parents about his cheating as they thought he was all innocent . He always said I was overreacting and hs stepmom actauly told me about him still seeing this girl. After I told my parents about his cheating he left,very upset and sais well I’ll show you what I wil do now ! Not long after that he got engaged and was suppose to get married 6 months later after the night I told my parents about him! Now it’s been 1 year ,we share a 5 year old boy and we stil on contact and he always have to chat secretively as his wife is not suppose to know. I am okay but sometimes I miss him so much and wants to know if he feels the same! He can be very rude at times especialy when he phones and his wife is around and then we wil end up arguing ! I miss him and wishes I can just get over him but also wants to know how he could move in so fast and not even look back???

    • admin
      April 16, 2014 | 4:15 pm

      You should have just approached him about the cheating and not involved other people.

      Also, why did they think he was innocent?

  11. Rupa
    April 15, 2014 | 5:39 am

    I followed the same.. we had a relationship of 2 mnths.. thn suddenly he has started ignoring me nd cut all communications.. I wished him on his birthday.. normal thank you I got in return… I knw there isn’t ny1 r8 ne in his life after we separated.. dnt knw about him.. but i miss him… I want our sweet relation back… what to do….. help me plzzz…

  12. Angela
    April 14, 2014 | 3:42 pm

    I broke up with my X officially 2 weeks ago. He and I have known each other for 15 years, but just decided to get serious 1 1/2 years ago. It’s a long distance relationship we are separated by at least 5 states. I know that he’s wanted to be with me for years but I finally gave in. The past year and a half have been full of extremes. Either things are really well or they are not going well. We got into a disagreement after he returned home from visiting me a month ago. I was so upset I just stopped talking to him. He called and he texted just about every day for 2 weeks and then I replied back. Told him I was removing myself from our relationship because he failed to see things my way. I said I don’t want to fight I just want to be happy so I am moving on. He told me I was being silly and ended the text exchange by saying “I’m here when you want to talk”, I never responded and that was 2 weeks ago. So I guess I did break up with him. I ended up unfriending him on facebook I was so upset. Well anyway…it’s been 2 weeks and I haven’t hear a peep. I feel silly now. I realize that I love him and now we’re not talking. should I do NC and wait for him to call me?

  13. Angie
    April 14, 2014 | 11:05 am

    I miss him so much, we shared 4 good years then 1year of him slowly leaving me and our new born son, who is now 2years old.. He supports us both financially but is not physically involved in our lives, meaning after we broke up . He stop seeing our son. He has moved on and had another baby. My heart is numb , my mind is dumb or confused. I still cry every night. For him (Doug) and it’s been over a year. I miss him and He knows that because I’m always telling him and texting him. He does call me and reply to texts… Depending on what I’m saying, but that’s it. I need advice or help because I hurt so much for him …. Crying.

  14. Kelly
    April 14, 2014 | 5:38 am

    We’ll I am in the middle of a heart break. My boyfriend and I are in our mid 30′s and been together nearly 2 years. 6 months ago we bought our first home and that is when the fighting began. The stress of buying the house then moving in together was exhausting, then we began renovating which just added to the problem. 5 hours after I had finished the final piece of the renovations, his parents arrived from France to stay for 10 weeks!!!!!!!!!
    Their visit was extremely testing for me as his Mother took over my house and was quick to tell me everything I do wrong. They were constantly in our faces and left us with no privacy.
    The week after they left was great and he was in a great mood until we bickered that weekend and spent a day not talking. The next day he sat me down to tell me we have to break up as too much damage has been done to the relationship and it can’t be fixed.
    It been a week now and still under the same roof together. I have tried telling him that it’s not the relationship that was bad but the circumstances we were in. And now that everything with the house is finished, we’ve adapted to living together, And his parents have gone, this is our perfect time to live a normal life for the first time in 6 months and just enjoy it. Again he just says the damage is done and can’t be fixed.
    He is so stubborn that Nothing I say can sway him. He says he loves me, but if he really did surely he would want to work things out.
    I am NOT willing to let this be the end. Please help!!!!

  15. Kunia
    April 13, 2014 | 7:36 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Thanks for all of the advice above. My BF of a 4 months has recently communicated a need for space — so, we’re not broken up as far as I know — slightly diff. than the above examples.

    1. About a month + ago, I found out that I was carrying hsv1 virus (no symptoms) and likely had it since childhood — all the while under the impression of being “negative” for everything — even though I recently found out that hsv1 test is not included on your standard std screening.
    2.Told BF immediately since I knew he specifically avoided contracting herpes in any form for his whole life and was worried about contracting it and communicated this when we first started sleeping together. He tested negative, retest is required for 100% sureness in 1-2 months.
    3. After the negative result, he’s (understandably) still worried, but is taking it really really intensely. During our last (email) interaction, he communicated to me that he needs some time/space “until this passes.” I responded apologizing for unknowingly exposing him to this and for being the catalyst for all of this anxiety. I expressed understanding in his needing some time/space, and I expressed concern over his anxiety and recommended to talk to *someone* about this even if it can’t be me.
    4. It’s been about 3 weeks since we spoke on the phone about the results, 2 weeks since he tested negative, 2 weeks since our last online interactions (lighthearted convos), and about 10 days since the email interaction detailed above (being nervous, needing space)
    ///THE DILEMMA/// As a person who has grown to care about him a lot and a person who…has a set of keys to his apartment, I am confused about what to do and how long to wait before I reach out again. do I wait til he reaches out to me? Because of his personality/fears, I wouldn’t be surprised if this recent obstacle was a dealbreaker for him…which I have come to terms with. However, right now, I have no idea what our status is and what I should be doing I know that we will eventually communicate in some way regarding our relationship status. How long do you wait before silence signals its-over!-just-mail-him-the-keys-and-say-xo-time.

    I just don’t know how to interpret this and I’d like to do the right thing, whatever that is.
    Any thoughts?

    Appreciate it!!

    • admin
      April 14, 2014 | 5:17 pm

      So, you don’t know if you are broken up? I am confused.

  16. megan
    April 13, 2014 | 8:08 am

    My boyfriend (ex?) and I have been together for 6 years but for the past few months I feel like I’ve been forcing the relationship with little-to-no effort on his part. We’ve lived together in the past but other circumstances left us living separately so we only really see each other 2 or 3 days a week.

    After realising that he didn’t seem into the relationship lately, I had a chat with him to find out what was going on. He said that he felt bored with everything in his life – with his friends, his college work and his job. So I suggested we take a break for a month, which he agreed to. I then clarified whether he wanted to take a break, or just call off the whole thing and he said that he just wanted a month’s break to figure out if he’s just taking our relationship for granted. He also clarified that he didn’t want to see other people so that isn’t the issue.

    A week after this talk, I saw him at a party and asked how he was going. He said he’d been busy with assignments etc but had been good. When he asked how I was, I was honest – I was having a rough time. I don’t like playing games and pretending to be all happy when I’m not. I then said to him that if he feels like he wants to break up, to just do it. Don’t string me along.

    It’s been 2 weeks since “the talk” and just over a week since I saw him/spoke to him last. I miss him a lot but have made sure not to talk to him.

    I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. I love him and I think he loves me, but I think he’s going to end it because we’ve been in this ‘boredom’ rut before. I think that once he gets himself sorted and happier, our relationship can get sorted too, but I doubt he sees it that way.

    Do you think there’s any way I can fix this?

  17. Rhiannon
    April 12, 2014 | 7:25 pm

    Well this is really messy and complicated. My boyfriend and I mutually agreed to go on a break as he felt his depression from early teens is coming back. He felt he needed to get his job sorted after a chain of different jobs and he wasn’t sure where he was going. He wanted to gain more friends as he felt i was the only true friend he had. Before the break he took me to a rooftop spa and was so romantic, told me i was the one etc. a week later we went on the break. Two weeks after that i contacted him to find he had found new friends and they were teaching him a new language and now planning to go away for a while once he his confident with the new language, so he officially broke up with me. A month after no contact i saw him yesterday and had a brief talk (asked if we were ok etc) I was hoping he’d see me and still be attracted to me and may lead him to think twice about his decision, but haven’t heard anything since. Since we broke up some old friends of his who see him from time to time had told me has returned to some of his bad habits which disaperared when we were dating. (Gossiping and stirring things up between people) which i took as a sign he’s not happy with his life? I feel he took the first thing he found to distract himself from depression and the hurt from our breakup? Also I feel he wants to make his parents happy and proud of him as he is doing this for religious purposes (religious beliefs we both share). The country he is planning to go to does not permit our religious beliefs and if he’s caught there are severe consequences which he said he finds makes life more exciting. I really do not want to let him go, I felt he was the one for me and I’d never be alone again and it’s all fell apart in matter of weeks. I feel physically sick that I’ve lost him to this, even after a month has passed I’ve barely been a day without shedding tears, I love, care and miss him so much. I really don’t understand how he can cope from contacting me every single day to nothing. I get that he may be trying to find himself just the wrong way about it? A month with no contact, I’m now scared if I say the door is still open he will reject me. Part of me feels that he will continue due to obligation to finish what he’s started and part of me feels he will never get where he’s heading to anyway. What do I do now? I really don’t want to get even more hurt than I already am

    • admin
      April 13, 2014 | 4:36 pm

      When was the last time you talked to him?

      • Rhiannon
        April 13, 2014 | 7:38 pm

        Face to face was Friday. But before that i hadn’t seen or texted for about a 5weeks

  18. fiona
    April 11, 2014 | 5:16 pm

    I must begin that i cheated on my bf with a stranger online. I never met the guy but my bf sniffed it, hacked my account and broke up with me. We did get back together and i worked really hard to get his trust back to the extentof sharing all my passwords n keeping him posted on where n with whom i was. It obviously was not easy n like i said i dont blame him. But he kept getting difficult and irritable and weould break up n then quickly make up. Breakups wid him were getting more and more painful and then whenhe suddenly without a fight decided to drop the relationship again, i decided i c told me nouldnt take it anymore. After a brief break he came back asking for us to getback but as usual doesnt really care how i feel. Since the bginning he has always been around when he has wanted, moody and erratic, one of the many reasobs why i strayed. I officially blocked him completely since a week but i miss him alot and i know we are gud together when he is involved and less selfish. I want him back but only if he wants to genuinely want to make it work. He tried contacting me a few times but he has stopped now. He does show narcissist traits and has blatantly told me not to feel bad if he starts dating. I hurt him but also aching n confused. I love him and want him ut i want to see the same from his end

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 3:37 pm

      ….. with a stranger… isn’t that dangerous? You had to of known this stranger.

  19. Speedygonzales
    April 11, 2014 | 3:39 pm

    I went out with a guy who is also a work colleague for 8 months (June 2013-February 2014). Our relationship was supposed to be a secret so no one knew about us. He was always so sweet, would come to my office even for just a quick kiss. Anyway, to cut the story short, we got into a huge fight because I told someone about us. He got so angry and told me not to contact him anymore. He blocked me on the MOC(Microsoft office communicator). When I called him, he yelled at me and said he did not want to talk to me. I got so heart broken so I blocked him every way possible; Facebook, Whatsapp, SMS, calls, MOC and even had my office phone number removed from the Shell system (we work in Shell). A few days later, he unblocked me on MOC and I received a request saying that he wanted to add me as his contact. I accepted the request but I had my status as Away the whole time..because I was so scared that he might say painful things again..but a part of me wanted to know what he wanted to say. But a few hours later I blocked him again. He went on leave the next day for 3 weeks. Usually he would tell me if he was going on leave. He just came back last week. I am still blocking him. But I miss him so much. I am wondering if he misses me too. And I am still wondering why he suddenly unblocked and added me as his contact. Wondering what his intention was. I still see him at the work the car has been difficult :’-(

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 3:59 pm

      Secret relationship.

      What caused the secrecy?

  20. S
    April 11, 2014 | 3:08 am

    ok so I was with my bf for 2 years we lived together the whole time. I would always treat him bad and when we would fight i would always overreact and break up with him and tell him to move out like he was nothing. Anyway, he ended up leaving one day after usually staying through my crap. I told him i loved him, poured my heart out, told him I would change and it wouldnt be that way anymore, he said it needed to happen now so I let it go for the day. He messages the next day saying love you and he rang but i ignored the messages and calls. I then messaged 2 days later saying ‘what do you want from me’ he ignored and i rang n he said i tried to call you two days ago dont worry anymore. (hes a bloody aries) and then i said sorry i wasnt playing games i was waiting to finish an important test before i confronted our issues. He said ok. Then i keep telling him i want him back bla bla and he says he thinks things will always be the same and never change. I said u need to try because we had two years and it wasnt always bad, we had some beautiful memories too. He said he still loves me and cares about me. So i met up with him and gave him his watch i brought him back. he was crying, i was crying. He messages the next day asking random shit like ‘have you found a house yet’ have the lawns been moved’ i replied obviously. then i msg saying what u doing the next day and he replies really short and i said if you dont want me to msg then i wont. he said he doesnt know what to say and that hes hurting still and doesnt know if he will ever get over it. anyway, we spoke on the phone today I said ‘should i move on? he said well thats what u want isnt it, he said if thats what you need to do then do it, i said well i want to know if you can see us together again, he said he doesnt know, i said okay i know where i stand with you. Have a good birthday (its in 3 days) and he said ‘stop’ i said stop what? he said i ddidnt want us to end like this, i said yeah well it is. and then i said im going take care bye and he didnt say anything and then we just hanged up.

    im thinking i have to not talk to him for quite some time as he is obviously stubborn and hurting. do you think the only reason hes being like this and not willing to try is because he knows im here waiting for him? Im not sure what to think. i definatley want him back. i know deep down it would killhim for me to move on but i dont know what to do. do you think he will want me back?

  21. Kate
    April 10, 2014 | 2:13 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up after a year and a half. I broke up with him but he also agreed we needed time apart. We were working many hours together at our place of employment and we also lived together. The two of which took a toll on our relationship because we didn’t have much time apart. We spend two weeks apart with no communication, and then he asked me to come home. So I did, naturally. Things were really good for a few days and then we got into a huge fight and he told me he was done with me for good. Devastated, I moved out most of my things and found a new place to live. A couple of weeks later he asks me to come over so we could have an “honest conversation.” This was Super Bowl Sunday to be exact. So I did. We ended up not talking about any issues and I ended up staying with him. After a few days he said he didn’t want to get back into a relationship right now, but wanted to take things a day at a time. I agreed. After a month of dinner dates, movie nights, shopping trips, and spending the night he says he wants time alone. I stayed with him on a Saturday and on Sunday evening he decided this. No warning signs or anything that this was coming. He wouldn’t give me an explanation for it and all he would say was that he needed this for himself and he was happier alone right now. I don’t know what to do. I’m in love with him but he doesn’t want to see or hear from me and it sucks. Especially going from dating and living together to living separately and not talking or seeing one another at all. Help.

  22. Monique
    April 10, 2014 | 6:42 am

    Hi, I feel pretty weird doing this but I need some help. I’ve been with my boyfriend (now my ex) for 6 months and he broke up with me 6 days ago. The reason why he broke up with me is because he is always busy with college and work, and he is trying to go to a prestigious university which means that he will be rarely available. He said that I’m the first girl he has ever loved and also the longest relationship he ever has have, but he cannot make me happy and I deserve better than that. He said that he is letting me and himself down… I insisted during two days, but since he couldn’t make a decision I gave up and never call or text since then.
    I want him back, gosh I love him so freaking much and I’m having a rough time not being his girl anymore, but this is the first time that someone breaks up with me and I don’t know if those were excuses or not. You seem pretty honest and knowledgeable about these things, so I really need your opinion. Do you think he misses me and will ever call me again?

    • admin
      April 11, 2014 | 3:48 am

      So, he gave you the “im too busy for a gf” speech eh.

      Do you honestly believe him?

      • Monique
        April 13, 2014 | 11:50 pm

        lol is it a common speech!? It’s the first time someone breaks up with me, so I did believe him at first. I followed your tips and didn’t text him or anything, but after a week he text me out of nowhere saying that he loves me & re-explaining his reasons including that he wanna start taking care of his body (working out) so that involves not expending time with me at all. So, he kinda left me.. twice! I told him that he left me for a dumbbell, and then he started saying that he got hurt time ago, he needs to do PT… he wanna get back into martial arts and compete… there is always something new, so yeah, I don’t really care much about his reasons anymore…. like you said we gotta be sure that we want our couple back & honestly I don’t wanna be with someone who obviously doesn’t love me. It hurts, I’m not gonna lie (cheer me up a bit please) but I’ll get over it :)
        Btw, thanks A LOT for your site, you are doing a great job helping us!

  23. Amy
    April 9, 2014 | 1:58 pm

    We were together for just about 6 months and He ended things with me 4 days ago. I will admit that things were great until about 2 weeks ago when I could feel we were distancing.

    He rang and said weren’t working anymore because of the lack of communication/ I was taking him for granted. He said that he’d really cared about me and had never treated another girl the way he had with me but I needed a reality check because it seems I didn’t know what I wanted. He didn’t shout once during the call but I did get emotional and accused him of using me the whole time. He said please don’t make me out like that, I didn’t use you I really liked you but you just didn’t get that. You can say that to make yourself feel better but it’s not true. Then he mentioned that he was thinking of seeing other people and that he was saying this because he didn’t want to lie to me. I asked him if he ever wanted to talk again and he said that he’s explained his reasons clearly (so basically no) I ended the call.

    2 days later I felt bad about the way id acted and realised that I’d been pushing him away so I sent him a text apologising and saying I want him and care about him and I hope that we can stay in contact. he didn’t acknowledge it and a day later on fb he posted a status saying that some people have an expiry date.

    I felt so sad. I haven’t contacted him since, will he ever regret and contact me again if he cared so much once?

    • admin
      April 10, 2014 | 2:10 am

      What caused the distancing?

  24. cara
    April 8, 2014 | 6:32 pm

    My boyfriend of seven years recently broke up with me because he needed some space to get his life together. Three days later I found out he had been persuing a 19 year old girl for the past month. He is 27 and i am 29. I flipped out at him when I found out, but have not spoke to him or heard from him since. Do you think he will reach out to me? If so, when?

    • admin
      April 10, 2014 | 1:30 am

      Sounds like a rebound to me.

      Have you read my rebound page?

  25. Sissi
    April 8, 2014 | 10:45 am

    Thanks for the tips! They were really helpfull.
    I would appreciate your insight on what is going on with me and this boy I was seeing. We met last August, but only started a “kind of a relationship” a month ago. We are both very independent, and it was stated since the beggining that we would take things slow. However, he was quite overwhelming since the very start. He was very passionate and sweet, always asking me to hang out or come over. So I started to fall for him, and now I’m hooked. This lasted for 3 weeks. A week ago I noticed a bit of a change. He was a lot more quiet, his texts weren’t that sweet anymore… he started to distance himself. I’m not a clingy and needy person, I’m the opposite. So I let him be, and only made plans to meet him on the weekend. A couple of hours before we were supposed to meet, he called to cancel. I didn’t like that at all and I told him I needed to talk. I went to see him and asked him straight up what was going on. He said that this always happens to him, and that he can’t figure out why. He starts feeling weird about having someone in his life, and he distances himself. I told him that I was ok with everything but that he should have said something. He hugged and kissed me a lot, said that he didn’t want to hurt me, but I told him that this wasn’t fun anymore and that this meant goodbye.
    Later that night, my best friend saw him coming out of a bar, completely wasted, and felt kind of worried about him walking home by himself. Her boyfriend offered him a ride home but he refused. The next day she called me to tell me what happened, and I was obviously worried too, so I called him to see if he was ok. He was ok, so we chated for a bit, he thanked me for my concern, and that was it. Yesterday morning he sent me a text, saying “good morning, just wanted to send you a kiss and wish you a great week”. I didn’t reply. The thing is… I’m really into this guy. I don’t know what to make of what’s happening. Can you help me, please? Thank you.

    • admin
      April 8, 2014 | 6:20 pm

      He was probably craving that attention from you…

  26. Jill
    April 7, 2014 | 12:01 pm

    Hi you stated that you can tell if your ex misses you “If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.”
    What exactly does this mean?
    My bf broke up with me yesterday as he said he was questioning best for him to be single. After chatting and deciding to leave his, he grabbed me and gave me a huge tight bear hug kissed me and kept saying I’m sorry I’m really sorry
    I am wondering what this hug meant? Anything….nothing….guilt trip for hurting me or that he cares a lot and gives me hope?

    • admin
      April 7, 2014 | 5:18 pm

      Does he smile a lot? Can you feel it from him when he talks to you. Does he look super happy to see you?

  27. Lala
    April 7, 2014 | 6:30 am

    Hi, my name is Lala. I’m 22 years old

    My boyfriend (26) and I love each other so much. But his family opposes our relationship due to cultural reason. They have never met me but they oppose. My boyfriend is a family guy so 2 months ago aftee fighting for 8 months, he gave up. We cried and were so upset. He tried to be friends but i don’t wanna do it. For the first few weeks he tried to keep in touch with me. But it seemed like his parents are pressuring him. It’s been almost 2 weeks we didn’t talk. I don’t wanna contact him first because i want him to fight for me or else, I try to move on. But our relationship is the best relationship ever. Even our friends can see how we love each other so much.

    I heard from my friends that he has gotten very quiet recently and when he met my brother in law, he ignored him completely (while i know for sure he is not that kind of man, he used to be so cheerful and confident)

    I certainly want him back. I certainly want him to miss me. What should i do?

    • admin
      April 7, 2014 | 5:13 pm

      What specifically about his family got in the way?

  28. Amanda Perez
    April 6, 2014 | 12:51 pm

    Hello my name is amanda im 22 years old. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I do love him and want to be with him …. the only thing that prevents that is his temper he calls me names and throws things at me. He is troubled and I see my self in him he has gone thru a lot but lately im just a emotional punching bag for him. What should I do? If he cares about me I feel like he will change and realize he is spiraling out of control and is going to lose me.

  29. Nima
    April 6, 2014 | 5:00 am

    I had a bf who was crazy for me. I did love him too but compare
    To the love he had for me, it’s nothing. He did everything to make me happy. We also had plans to getting married and the future and we were both very excited about it.
    I had doubts tho because he is not from the same country I came from and his country people are somehow treated lower in our country and many other countries too so I knew for sure my family won’t accept him.
    In our relationship, I kept many limits with him. I didn’t let him do things that normal couples do. Like holding hands, touching. I didn’t even reply his ‘I love you’ thinking I should keep that for the future too. And if it happens and I replied, he would be very happy.
    I broke up with him for my family as I knew they won’t accept and I didn’t want to get our hopes high.
    And so, after about a month, we started contacting again. When we were together, he brought himself low many times just for me. He’d say sorry even if it’s my fault. He’d beg for forgiveness. In fact, this isn’t how he is with everyone else.
    And so when we started contacting again, he come back a lot stronger. He don’t bring himself down for me anymore. If something upsets me he’ll still say it. And then he said that he’s going back to his country in few days so I have about 3weeks-a month to think if I want this back or what then when he comes back we’ll have a talk. The day he was leaving we went out, he bought stuff then he called me from the airport and he also called me when he reached. The next day I got to know that one of his friends was telling the guys from my country in our university that I had a boyfriend and all.
    My ex knows that nobody should know cause my family is strict. Anyways, I fought with him saying I don’t want this anymore and all. He then said I don’t give a crap anymore. I brought myself down for you many times and I won’t do it again. It’s over.
    The next day I see him chatting with this girl from his country on fb. His good friend’s gf is that girl’s friend. He was flirting with her. Took her number and all. (P.S. He didn’t change his fb password saying he’s tired of changing it).
    When I saw that, I asked him to call me. He called after like 10mins but I wasn’t around. He called twice and then messaged me saying if you ask me to call have the decency to receive.
    I told him I wasn’t around. He said ok. Done.
    He called back after awhile. I received. He asked what was it. I said no nothing. He said you asked to call. I said that was before. He said now difference. I said no it does make difference. He said tell me, I want to know. I said no I want to sleep you go sleep too. He said ok ok. I hung up. Done. Now what? Does he even still have anything for me?
    I did hurt him a lot. This time I don’t think he’ll come back. He might even hookup with that girl and done. I’m out of his life.
    (Ps. I give him back the gifts he got me and asked for the ones I gave him but he isn’t giving it back. He said it’s my stuff now. You shouldn’t be asking for it.)

    • admin
      April 6, 2014 | 5:25 pm

      Explain to me why you don’t think you loved him as much as he loved you?

    • Nima
      April 6, 2014 | 5:50 pm

      He did many things for me. Brought himself down for me a lot.
      I didn’t do that. I was always so strict. Always appeared as the strong person. I hurt him a lot with my words but he always forgave me for it. And he always came back.

  30. Kay
    April 5, 2014 | 11:51 pm


    I was talking to a guy that I “dated” in 8th grade, but we recently caught up and developed feelings for eachother…we haven’t made it official yet so we’re just friends that like eachother. His feelings for me were a little too soon, I felt he was moving a little quick falling in love too soon. Great guy. But we got into an argument via text, which I hate arguing over a text.

    I could have ended it, by not responding even though I gave him numerous opportunities to call me to discuss it, he never did. I actually miss our time we talked on the phone, our time we saw eachother…he’s ignoring my texts…but I miss it all. I already deleted him off Facebook off of impulse, so I can’t make him miss me.

    What can I do? He was wrong in the argument, and I did apologize for my behalf but still nothing. Any advice? Thank you in advance!


    • admin
      April 6, 2014 | 5:23 pm

      Just let him cool down a bit.

  31. Niece
    April 5, 2014 | 7:57 am


    My boyfriend decided to end things nearly a week ago. At first, I left it but the next day I contacted him to find out if we were really done with and he said yes. I asked him why, and he told me that it’s because I did nottrust him. He wasn’t very good at communicating and every time I tried addressing an issue with him he would either recoil or just repeat what I was saying. He also lied a lot and I found out he cheated with his ex at the start of the relationship with made things terrible; despite me asking if he was sure he was ready to move on. No matter how much I tried to make him admit he did not until I told him I had had evidence. He would also speak to others about the state of the relationship, instead of me. He always maintained that he loved and cared for me, in fact he did not want to end the relationship but I felt his all of his lack of communication was for him not wanting to be with me anymore and I asked him if he still wanted the relationship. He’s very stubborn and proud. Although I never cheated and was very faithful and patient, I feel I pushed him. What are the chances of him wanting me back?

  32. sara
    April 5, 2014 | 3:47 am

    I have been dating someone I work with on and off for 2 years. Anytime he gets mad at me its an instant end to our relationship. Then he asks me over for dinner and I can’t help but forgive him right away. Sometimes its a few days sometimes a few weeks after the breakup. He doesn’t show emotions and I’m not sure if he’s really been in a relationship with true feelings before this do maybe he doesn’t know how to work out a disagreement? I tell myself I can help him grow but I’m tired of being cast aside so easily. Is this something I need to walk away from or stick around and hope he sees I’m willing to do what it takes to make this work?

  33. Sasha
    April 4, 2014 | 5:57 pm

    I have just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years. The problem has always been us getting into fights about each other’s bad habits and sometimes financial matters. My issue with him tho has always been the way he deals with anger. While he may have a good reason to be angry, the way he expresses it is extremely mean and disproportionate, to the point he doesn’t treat me with dignity and respect (verbally). I have kept telling him that even when I’m so angry with him I still don’t call him names or talk in a sarcastic manner. I just tell him straight that I’m really angry, ask him why and then ask him what he wants to do about it. However he does not do the same when it’s my turn to make a mistake and has never considered my suggestion of keeping the respect even while disagreeing or even being angry. While we seemed to have gotten to much less fights in recent years, the attitude has stayed IF and when an unexpected big fight occurs.. Just like awhile back.. So I broke up with him because he seems to have no capacity to understand what I meant by my advice, and instead keeps repeating he’s just making me drink my own medicine by hurting me back.. Except he does it on purpose while my human errors really are not. My last message to him was to the effect of I’m done with your disrespectful words, I’m breaking up with u, don’t contact me ever again cos I’m moving on with my life. Despite that message he immediately messages me back saying “night, thank u for everything.” Can u tell me what this means? Is this a “first sign”, so to speak, that he is someone who is easily drawn back into a broken up relationship? Because honestly im half considering moving on but at the same time we both worked too hard and been through too much that now I’m depressed it’s come to this.. Aside from making him realize his life might never be the same without me (for a long while anyway), I want him to realize he needs to stop verbally abusing me out of anger.. He could never do that.. He might have in recent years.. In a number of instances.. But it grows back like a stubborn thorn. Like a part of him.. And I could never avoid it in the LONG TERM even if I tried. Is it too much to ask to hit one bird with 2 stones? I’m so upset and disappointed right now but I still love him.

    • Sasha
      April 4, 2014 | 6:10 pm

      *1 stone.. 2 birds I mean.. ahh there it is, I’m diving into crying with ice cream mode. But I’m serious of not contacting him at all at least the whole day tomorrow. I have already unfriended him on Facebook.

    • admin
      April 6, 2014 | 4:45 pm

      The breakup message was totally out of anger. He didn’t handle it too well though I will admit.

  34. sam turner
    April 3, 2014 | 8:15 pm

    Me and my ex broke up like 3 weeks ago.We have been together for 2 years. We had wedding plans already. Out of no where She started to sleep out alot at her friends house which is a girl who she works with. She has moved some of her stuff out of my apartment. she still stops by every day to see our dog only when im not home and im at work. I found out that she was talking to a guy who she works with and she always called him as her friend. Then one day i notice that she blocked me from facebook and i found out that she is in a relationship with that same guy she called him a friend. She said she cant move the rest of her things out of my apartment cause she cant find a new place to live yet. She texts me everyother day asking about our dog . I try not to contact her and wait for her to contact me. i wanted to know if this guy is just a rebound or she has really moved on to another guy cause i really to love her to death.

  35. Yasmeen
    April 3, 2014 | 6:34 pm

    I just broke up with my BF, we were together for 3 years. He is married, I thought we will end up together because he hates his wife. But we broke up a couple of months ago because he told me he won’t leave his wife, but i decided to remain with him. However we broke up again last week for the same subject. Something stupid triggered the whole subject again, and he said that he does not know what I’m doing with him and why I agreed to be with a married man. The problem is that he is my co-worker. So I see him a lot. Usually when we break up he initiates and calls or texts. This time it looks like he has a decision not to call. We act normally at work, but I really miss him. Should I initiate this time? Or should I just let go? I think I am madly in love with him.

    • admin
      April 4, 2014 | 5:07 pm

      He is married… you probalby shouldn’t try getting him back. Move on.

  36. Toria
    April 3, 2014 | 1:07 pm

    So my ex and I broke up almost 6 months ago but we were still speaking and on good terms, we met up for dinner just over 3 weeks ago and it was good, we laughed, flirted and it was lighthearted. I decided after having dinner that i wasnt going to contact him first and chase him as it just isnt working. I am now on day 23 of no contact and i havent heard anything from him at all. My best friends husband works with my ex and she told me that he told her husband he has started seeing someone…..i find this quite unusual as my ex is a very private person and doesnt ever discuss his personal life with people especially people he isnt close to. He knows that i would find out as my best friends husband was obviously going to tell his wife and she will ultimately tell me. I am rather confused now?!?….I still havent contacted him after finding this info out…….what do you think or suggest??

  37. Maria
    April 2, 2014 | 10:11 pm

    Hello Admin,
    I have been talking to this guy on and off for 5 years. Recently I just realized how much I care for him after he tried to commit to me and I shut him down. I tried apologizing and making him see that I was wrong but he still has not come around. That happened 4 months ago. Within that time we didn’t talk for almost 3 months so I texted him. We had a good conversation until I brought up our relationship and he said that he couldn’t do this right now to which I replied I understand forget I mentioned it and he said no you don’t understand I CANT right now. I said you are right I don’t understand. He said there can’t be an US right now. I said okay I’m here if you need me and I understand forget I mentioned it. Then 5 days later he text me saying that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me anymore. We ended off by saying we both will put more effort into talking to one another. I feel like I have put in way too much effort but I’m not sure why he makes it seem like I don’t.

    • admin
      April 4, 2014 | 4:34 pm

      Why did you shut him done in the first place?

  38. letting go
    April 2, 2014 | 6:55 pm

    we broke up with my boyfriend of three years am frastruted to my core he seems mature but anger always gets in the way n lose it but letting me go just like that without considering what we’ve being thrgh in the past is my limit of how hell be sorry if he miss me he’s ego thinks will get away with that he’s mistaken I will first hurt he’s pride by these steps

    • admin
      April 3, 2014 | 5:44 pm

      Sorry your message is kind of cryptic. Are you saying anger is preventing you from thinking rationally?

  39. joanna
    April 1, 2014 | 11:09 pm

    i am with my boyfriend 6 years and we have 2 kids together for the past year my boyfriend well ex boyfriend breaks up with me over the most stupid things and we always end up back together because i do all the chasing and begging so now i think that is what he expects he has stopped making an effort and is more intrested in going out with the boys and doing whatever he likes without putting me and the kids into consideration all i do is mind his kids and do nothing for myself but recently i have started exercise classes to get my body in shape and to feel good and i feel my confidence coming back do you think i should concentrate on me and my children and just let him be im sick of been a push over and i know im a great mam and i know my kids will thank me when there older because there my first prioroty but its so hard hes the love of my life and i have to kids with him

    • admin
      April 2, 2014 | 5:34 pm

      Good for you! Love your priorities!

  40. Ananya
    April 1, 2014 | 8:03 pm

    my bf broke up with me a yr ago..i dnt have any proof..but at many times i felt he was seeing his 1st gf those days..they both lived together for 3 months as per my knowledge.(we wer in a long distance relationship post our studies).for a long time i realised that he was ignoring me. but whenever i asked he kept saying tht he loved me. evn on the day he broke up he said that he loved me..but coz i was doubting on him with his 1st gf he did not want to continue the relationship..unless and until i believe him blindly and never question him abt his wearabouts..and the he broke up with me..since then we both are in no contact. he never msged or called me back..but his 1st gf did call me to show her concern towards me…but ended up blamming me for evrything and saying tht i vl never get a guy like my ex-bf and that he vl hv far many beautifull girls. she even called up one of my dearest friends several times to knw if i hv moved on with someone or if am still lonely and crying.and both of thm are still staying together..

    i loved him a lot. and gave him my full attention. i was the popular girl of my college. and i never cheated on him. i was totally committed and faithfull. and he was never insecure abt me..

    do u think i have any hopes to get him back..?? i am not in any contact with him and i knw nothing abt him right now.

    • admin
      April 2, 2014 | 5:27 pm

      I think you definitely do have a shot!

  41. Breanna
    April 1, 2014 | 6:52 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend and I had been dating for six months. He just broke up with me last night out of the blue. I thought everything between us was fine until he told me during the day that he had been thinking about us and he wanted to talk to me. His reasons were that he has just been so busy lately that he has lost interest in our relationship, even though he still really likes me. He has been very busy lately with his two jobs and his college senior year project. I was more than understanding with all of that and he knew that. He also told me that I deserved someone that can hang out with me more than one day a week, even though we hang out at last three or four days a week. He said that once he left college in December, he would make his decisions based on our relationship and he wanted to make them based on him, even though I told him that he didn’t have to make decisions based on our relationship. He also said that I deserved someone that could buy me things even though I have told him numerous times that I didn’t need anything. I love him and desperately want to be with him. Is there anything I can do to help him gain interest back in our relationship so we can get back together??

    • admin
      April 2, 2014 | 5:25 pm

      Have you gone into NC yet?

  42. makenna
    March 31, 2014 | 9:57 pm

    My ex broke up with me after we had a stupid petty fight he said it bothered him more than he thought and it made him look at the relationship and it wasn’t what he wanted. He said in a few years he didn’t see it working out. He told me he loved and missed me even earlier on the day that he broke up with me. He says we will never be a couple again but I said you don’t know because who knows what your feelings will be later on. We literally had so much fun together and I love him so much. He’s getting ready for his last year of school and is super stressed and I think this contributed to the break up. Even if he says we will never be a couple again but we will ask how each others doing when we contact I.want to.know if there’s hope.a week before our fight we were doing great and super happy he sent the cutest messages and we were getting along well. I asked if we could work on it and he said he didn’t want to which I think is due to his stress level right now. I need him back because he truly is the greatest guy and was always so positive when he talked about me to everyone.

    • admin
      April 1, 2014 | 4:55 pm

      What does he highlight as the problems with yoru relationship? I am curious to hear what he said.

  43. Nadea
    March 31, 2014 | 5:55 pm

    Hi I was with my bf for 8 months we meet on an online dating site but just recent have realised he still get a lot of notifications from this site so 1 night I logged on but could not see him so my freind logged on at the same time but she could see him which means he has all along been on the site but he just blocked me so I couldn’t see I really miss him but I’m trying to do the no contact rule for a month even though my things are at his and I need to collect them so I deleted my original profile on the same site and have now got a new 1 in which I can see him and he can see me out of curiosity the site was badoo now I have tried blocking him all different ways but I can see him on people nearby what should I do the no contact rule plus log in the site now and again so he thinks I’m talking to other people I still have feelings for him so I now I need to play this roght

    • admin
      April 1, 2014 | 4:50 pm

      Has he blocked you everywhere or just on this site?

      • Nadea
        April 4, 2014 | 10:17 am

        Just on this site while we were I the relationship

  44. sue
    March 29, 2014 | 6:27 pm

    My bf broke up with me a several weeks ago. I did NC straight away. After 10 days he sent me a text saying he missed me (I knew from a forum he writes on that he was anguished over his decision to break up and very depressed).

    I called him b/c I was worried about him. Mistake- he was relieved to hear my voice, but just said he wanted a friendship.

    So back to NC. Then he sends me text and comments on how pretty I look in a fb photo.

    I ignored all of it.

    Then he sends an email to a friend about how much his misses me, I’m the best gf he’s ever had, and the loveliest person he’s ever known. He feels alienated by me and my friends and family.

    I keep up NC, but my friend calls to check on him.

    So confused. He wrote to my friend that he felt alienated and what was the use of trying to start over if everyone is alienating him.

    Duh! He alienated himself.

    He also wrote that he doesn’t have the courage to call me.

    All this to my friend and on forums he doesn’t know I read.

    It’s like NC has made him miss me, but then he’s not doing much about it, except emailing my friend and short texts.


  45. Amanda
    March 29, 2014 | 3:40 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago (on my birthday). I didn’t see it coming, but I knew that we weren’t acting the same. We ha fought the night before, and the day of, he seemed a little off, as if he didn’t want to be bothered. I had asked him a question, and he jumped up and snapped on me, saying the relationship is over and he wants nothing more to do with me. This has happened a few times before, but we had ended up getting back together. So, I walked out and hoped that maybe some space would help us cool down. Once I got back, he didn’t seem to even care, an told me I needed to pack up and leave. I had done so the next day, and a few things are at his house. But since then, I haven’t called or texted him to get the rest of stuff at his place. A few of his friend had checked up on me, and they told me he is much happier without me. My first thought was, “yes, he probably is, because I’m no longer there to bother him,” but it still hurt to hear that. A couple days later, his friends started noticing that I’m slightly happier and not bringing him up so frequently. Again, I love and miss him tons right now.
    I was his first relationship, and he was my third. The beginning was great, and then I started to notice he was very angry all the time and he’s very stubborn. I know he loves me still, but I want to make the relationship work, I’m not sure how to, though. A lot of our fights were because of my insecurities, which with this breakup, has helped me realize that I can’t be like that. I’m just curious that with how stubborn he issuing that our relationship will never work if it actually WILL work.

    • Amanda
      March 29, 2014 | 3:43 pm

      *how stubborn he is with saying out relationship won’t work, is there hope that it may work out again?

  46. Rachel
    March 29, 2014 | 2:58 am

    Me and my ex was together 3 years I really fell in love he finished with me for this girl but she’s horrible to our daughter he doesn’t believe she’s bad and it really hurts how a girl like this is with the man I love :( I no I should give him up but I can’t xxxx by the so sorry for any spelling mistakes first day on a touchscreen lol x

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