How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup


If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all. I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. I respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

How To Make Him Miss You (The Complete Steps!)

As I am sure you are already aware, making your ex boyfriend miss you (and potentially want you back) can be a tricky thing to do. It will take discipline, strategy and hard work (and even then you aren’t guaranteed to succeed.) However, I feel I have come up with an awesome way to not only make him miss you but to actually get him chasing you.

There is just one problem, the tactics I talk about are actually a little complicated and very detailed. So, while this page can help you make your ex boyfriend miss you it won’t do it as well as my E-Book does. So, when you get a chance (if you feel like it.) I recommend that you check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO:

My E-Book!

Everyone’s Advantage

roger federer

Before you even start using any “missing” tactics you have a pretty big advantage already. Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much? Oh, but it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

The Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

  1. You can both agree on the breakup and do it mutually.
  2. He can break up with you.
  3. You can break up with him.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup. We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct. Of course, there is one case where this might work as well.

The ONE case where you might not have this advantage.

  • If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

The ONE case where this will work EXTREMELY well.

  • If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

No Contact = “I Miss You”

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please visit Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

no eye contactThroughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme. The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

 You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for one full month. If during that month you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond.

Sounds pretty simple huh? Actually, I would say that this is the toughest part to trying to get your ex back. However, if you do it successfully not only will you improve your chances of potentially putting yourself in a position to get him back but you will make huge strides in making him miss you.

You see, men at their core (I should know because I am one) have some pretty strange thoughts after a breakup but I would say that most guys eventually get back to one core thought “she is going to be the first to contact me.” How do I know this? Because, that is exactly what I thought after a break up I went through. Sure enough, after 3 days of not talking to my ex she contacted me.

Using my example, have you ever stopped and wonder what would have happened if my ex hadn’t contacted me? Let me tell you. My confident claim of “she is going to be the first to contact me” would have turned into “why the &^*% hasn’t she contacted me?” Interesting flip of the switch huh? Soon, that anger of “why hasn’t she contacted me yet?” would cause me to realize just how much I miss having her in my life.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You

(For more information on the different things you can do to make him miss you please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control. When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape


There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. I wanted her immediately. I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her.

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

I dont care

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much. Just focus on the most important thing, you. Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and chill for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life


You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.” Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

Tactic 4- Hitting His Emotional Hot Buttons

hot buttons

Look, eventually the no contact rule end is going to end and a time is going to come where you are going to have to communicate with your ex. When you do contact him make sure you do it via a text message. Texting is viewed as non threatening and it will give you the ability to slowly push is emotional hot buttons. I recommend that you check out this guide on how to correctly text message your ex.

Tactic 5- Jealousy Can Be Effective IF Used Correctly


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way. It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

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2,336 Responses to How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
  1. Abby
    July 25, 2014 | 8:59 pm

    My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago after 6 years, I’ve kinda sucked about the NC rule to be honest but its just super hard after all those years. I feel robbed of years and broken he says he wasn’t happy being with me or happy with himself either and that he needed to find himself, he also cut out everyone including his friends and best friend out of his life.

    Any advice?

    • admin
      July 28, 2014 | 2:28 pm

      Understandable when you are with someone for that long its hard to adapt but you really need to do the NC.

  2. Jenny
    July 23, 2014 | 1:34 am

    hello ,
    well me and my ex boyfriend were dating for 5 months he broke up with me after an argument we had , we got back together after that (next month 6/4/14) he asked me out that day because our actual date was 2/4/14 we broke up 2 weeks later he told me “listen Jen I think you can do better your smart , beautiful , sweet all that , ever since we broke up I lost feelings for you it just wasn’t the same anymore”, we haven’t talked in a little more than a month and today is 7/22/14 we havent at all , and I just miss him so much I want him back honestly we did everything together , I miss US so badly ive actually been depressed about this just missing him its been very hard on me lately

    • admin
      July 24, 2014 | 2:44 pm

      Were there any warning signs or was this completely out of the blue…

  3. chinadoll
    July 21, 2014 | 5:10 pm

    Hi i have been dating this guy for 6 months and we hit it off right away. but this pass week he has been distance from me for no reason. I finally talk to him the other day. He told me that it’s not you it’s me and he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that he was moving too fast. Now my feelings is involved deeply andn I love him and he says he loves me too. What do I do about this.

    • admin
      July 22, 2014 | 2:13 pm

      Did he break up with you?

  4. Brown bug
    July 18, 2014 | 10:10 pm

    I was talking to a guy for two and a half months. We both really liked each other but he was going away to study abroad for a month so we decided to wait to start a relationship until he got back. The entire time we spoke everyday and Skyped each other. The entire time before he left we were both excited to start a relationship together. Well when he got back he said he had doubts and then told me he doesn’t have feelings for me. I thought we just needed space from each other because we were kind of always in each others faces always talking and texting. I suggested a break but he just wanted to end it. He finally agreed to a two week break and I’m one week in and I’ve kind of accepted that it’s going to be over no matter what. But what I’m wondering is if there’s any chance he might change his mind. Maybe he just needed space to figure out that I really matter to him. Is this at all possible or should I just continue moving on and not bothering to contact him after the initial two weeks are up.

    • admin
      July 21, 2014 | 3:53 pm

      I think a little space would be a good idea in this instance.

  5. Jordan Gillespie
    July 18, 2014 | 5:32 pm

    Ok so I was seeing someone for 6 weeks almost there, he was completely spoiling me, taking me away weekends, out for dinner and drinks etc also put a deposit down on a holiday just the day before he ended things. Now the thing is we haven’t ever argued or fell out as technically it was still honeymoon period for us and we were completely so happy. Everything he said and one was amazing and then I got a text from him saying how his mum though I was too young for him so he said he thinks it is for the best to end things, now I am 21 and he is 30, age to me is just a number and he genially was so so happy. I couldn’t believe he was honestly listening to his mum and letting her make choices for him however I then thought this isn’t the truth because he told me he didn’t care about age as I act a lot older than I am and made him happy. He only broke up with his ex about 2 months ago and he told me there was nothing left he didn’t feel anything to her as she cheated on him many times and told me there just something there with me. Now I at the start did not want to feel like a rebound so I asked him on we’d after we ended things on Tuesday is she back on the scene and he replied ‘there’s not a chance in hell of that happening again, I feel I have rushed into this too quickly and need to sort myself out with a flat first, I hope you aren’t fallen out with me over my decision’ now the age has nothing to do with the break up! I just need advice on this as he genially wouldn’t have said everything he did or done what he done spoiled me etc and then do this! I have not contacted him since Wednesday, however he said on Tuesday he would bring my stuff to me on Friday night which is tonight, I have not heard anything and I have no intension of texting him as I really hope he is thinking he has made a mistake. I do not want to seem bothered and I do not want to give him the time of the day like I am clinging onto him. If he really wanted me gone he would have been and gone with my stuff by now am I right? Can anyone give me advice on what to do, how to make him realise and what he’s missing etc, he don’t have Facebook or anything which I hardly use but he sees that I come on whatsapp etc. I feel proud I haven’t contacted him but I have this weird feeling inside me that i might have a chance still is this normal? Does the NC rule really work?

    • admin
      July 21, 2014 | 3:06 pm

      Yes, the no contact rule can really work!!

  6. dalel
    July 18, 2014 | 3:56 am

    hey my ex is with anothe girl he loves her i guess but she brokeup with him today, my friend talked to him for mybe we can getting back togather but he told him a lot of thinks witch it hurts a lot he said that he’s no longer love me and he doesn’t want me and he hates the day he met me, and all what we had was just a lie, but in the same time he was dating that girl something happend it was when our football national team went to the second term we all went to celebrate in the street so in that time i lost my little brother in the croud so i start freaking out and crying so he followed me and helped me to find him and we did after that we walked alone in an empty street and it wa 01:00 am and then he kissed me and said that he loves me and never wanna see me cry again, no we never talked and i really miss him i want him back i just need some help

    • admin
      July 18, 2014 | 4:04 pm

      You should give him a little time to get over his current ex so YOU don’t become the rebound.

  7. Second Chance Glutton
    July 15, 2014 | 3:01 am

    hi Chris,
    I can see that you’ve been dealing with some pretty crazy relationship experiences, and unfortunately I think I have another one for your scrutiny.
    my ex (aaron) and I met about six months ago online and immediately hit it off and messaged back and forth every day. because of our equal honesty and compatible personalities, we both started developing feelings for eachother. during this time, we were both in troubled relationships, my boyfriend was cheating on me incessantly (no matter the second and third chance) and his girlfriend was not around very much, and was awfully jealous. I finally got away from my ex, and soon after Aaron broke it off with his girlfriend. he told me it was because of his feelings for me, partly. of course, our relationship was on a track towards serious relationship, and I couldn’t have been happier.

    sadly, I had made a huge mistake.

    my previous boyfriend and I had a very serious and deep relationship, and when he came crawling back to me, even though I was trying to move on with Aaron, I ruined everything when I decided to leave Aaron for him. this broke aarons heart, and at first he responded with anger. it didn’t take long for my boyfriend to cheat on me again, and Aaron was there for me as a friend. It was then that I realized I had made a huge mistake. I begged and begged Aaron for a second chance and after a while he succumbed.
    our relationship went back to how it was before, but I ruined it yet again.

    I felt that our relationship was boring, and he didn’t seem to be showing much emotion or effort, and so like an idiot, I started playing games. I became very stoic and blank, and he finally asked what was going on. well, not really asked. it was more like a statement. “so are we not going to try anymore?” is what he said. pride filled my mind, and I wanted him to fight for me. can you believe my nerve? after I had pleaded for a second chance, and now I wanted HIM to fight for ME? of course, he saw how screwed up that was and I decided to leave, because I obviously hadn’t put my foot far enough down my throat.

    the problem is, now I want him back. desperately. I’ve learned from my mistakes, apologized and tried to fix them. but he will not budge. he said he can’t take us seriously because he thinks that I will just leave again.
    plus theres some other girl he met, and he doesn’t want to ruin it before it begins.

    at this point, you’re probably wondering what on earth my question is. I just want to know what I can do to fix what I’ve done and get him back. right now I’m doing the NC rule, I told him I needed time to get over him.
    but I’m afraid if I stick with that rule and don’t do anything else he will move on with that girl he met.

    thanks for your time and your insightful articles,

    • admin
      July 15, 2014 | 3:24 pm

      Oh man…

      So, heres how AAron feels.

      “I left my girlfriend for her and she did this to me.”

      That is probably swimming around in his head a lot.

  8. Kelly
    July 14, 2014 | 3:10 am

    My ex and I dated a little over a year. He was my first love and sad to say still is. We broke up 2 years ago but about 2 weeks ago he followed me on twitter and instagram. I returned the follow. Now I have completely gone kinda insane thinking what does this mean? And I can’t help but look at his page every day and tweet hints toward him. Basically I’ve made myself look pathetic but I want to change that now. Finding someone else is basically a no go because I always catch myself finding flaws about another guy that isn’t him. He doesn’t subtweet or retweet any of my tweets and he hasn’t liked any of my pictures of me except for one that was a bible verse. What do I do? I need help ASAP.

  9. Carol
    July 13, 2014 | 6:03 pm


    I met a guy on line and we dated for 3 weeks. We had an instant connection. We have a lot in common and enjoy each others company very much.

    I take dance lessons and have for 7 months now. A hobby I took up after a 21 year marriage ended. I go out at least once every weekend to the dance club (truly a dance club where co-dancers all get together for practise). He thinks I’m seeing someone else, and I am not. Somehow he is sure I did because one night I was at a house party and left my phone at home. Since my kids 15 and 25 were together, I didn’t worry and stayed at the party but was home just after 11. He doesn’t believe me and broke up with me. His comment was that he had better things to worry about that where I am and who I am with. Of course this hurt my feelings.

    I know he is hurt but is he really? or is this a way to get rid of me? His last relationship ended at 4 months and it seemed to me he may have not been ready. That being said, I can’t remember the last time I felt so at ease with someone. I am an attractive woman and in the past I was a model. He is defiantly my type, tall, fit and handsome and a bit nerdy…which I LOVE! BUT….he thinks I’m out of his league. Is this part of the problem??? I am a lot nerdier than he has seen.

    When is it a sign that he is not into you? I want to believe he is but I am not sure what to do? I have cut contact with him. Blocked him from my phone and took him off FB. I did this more for me because I don’t want to see what he is up to. But….I miss him.

    Any suggestions for insights? Is he worth pursing? With the NC rule, should I go back on the dating site we met on? It would be for the wrong reasons since I am not ready to give up on him.

    • admin
      July 14, 2014 | 3:23 pm

      You only dated for 3 weeks?

      And if he thinks you are out of his league he may be worried about other men hitting on you. Some men can’t deal with that.

  10. this girl
    July 10, 2014 | 7:54 pm

    The last comment from “aggressive aggressive” sounds like me and my ex as far as behavior/personality.

    My ex and I were crazy in love and both that us finding one another was “it,” dated six months and then he dumped me…he said he needed more time to himself and I was just too much…that I didn’t listen to him…and maybe some space would make us stronger down the road. I didn’t take it too well, and did all the classic things one should not do to try to get him back (except the crazy stalker stuff…skipped out on doing anything creepy – lol). Of course, this pushed him away… I see him all the time. We have a lot of the same close, close friends that neither of us would like to loose…and some of them play music and we’re involved in a lot of community things…point is, even trying to avoid him …I bump into him frequently. The NC was never put into place b/c of this… and I think he’s starting to get over me. We’ve hooked up and what not… but throughout the last 3 months, I think this has all just made it more comfortable for him to start getting over me. ..

    What can I do now? I still miss him. I still want him back…and I feel he’s starting to drift.

    • admin
      July 11, 2014 | 2:20 pm

      Or comfortable to be FWB

  11. Adrienne
    July 10, 2014 | 6:51 pm

    What if you broke up with them for whatever reason (in my case, he needs to grow up)? My ex is very angry with me and is responding childishly by trying to make me jealous. Do the same principles apply?

    • admin
      July 11, 2014 | 2:00 pm

      Absolutely they do.

  12. Amanda
    July 10, 2014 | 4:42 am

    Hi chris! Did everything in your book and it worked! I look ed for your guidance a year ago. Explained my story… Perfect relationship happy etc one day out of the blue he broke up w me. Talked 2 months later and he told me he wanted to try and get back together w his ex. He had all kinds of romantic gestures with his ex . She said no. He continued his way trying to be w someone new and me all the while… Following the rules. I heard she was not in love w him. Him and I talked I mentioned it as a casual friend would. He told me he wanted to get back together that he missed me once he realized he was not happy w the second girl. He said then and only then he had realized what he had left behind back then. He said he found me so much more centered in my life and he liked that! So, I say yes… Easily and quickly :( we were together 4 months and we started fighting like we never had in our first relationship w each other. Things were completely different I couldn’t be lovable wanting to punch him in the face all the time my feelings were so hurt knowing all the things he had done for his ex to try and get back together, . He didn’t do half those things for me and it broke my heart :( but to be honest I didn’t let him (I took him back too easily) anyway he broke up w me several times and at first tried to stay in touch a lot we would get back together in weeks etc but this time he seems so much more detached more decisive. Less open to considering getting back together wanting his space etc. so… Here it is… A) can the program work again ? Even if the first time he had something good to remember and this time it was a disaster? B) how do I make him chase me not only want to get back together but chase so maybe this time he values the relationship? C) what book do you recommend?

    • admin
      July 10, 2014 | 2:37 pm

      Its not out of the question that it will work again but I am going to honest, I feel it will be less effective since youve already used it.

  13. Stacey
    July 4, 2014 | 8:39 am

    Hey chris. So its been about 8 weeks since the break up.
    2 weeks after the break up he was doing the things you wrote hed do if he misses me. He hasnt repeated those signs of missing me since week two. He came by my place to pick up stuff he forgot and he responded neutrally maybe a twinge of possitivity. He didnt day much he just asked how i was doing. I went to his page yesterday and hes removed all exsistence of our relationship together from his facebook. Untagging photos people took of us, deleting profile pictures with me in them. Now Im thinking i had my chance and i blew it and now hes possibly bitter idk. Is it possible to stop missing an ex at only 8 weeks? And if so how do i proceed if he no longer misses me?

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:49 pm

      I suppose anything is possible but I think he still misses you but maybe it will lessen more and more over time.

  14. zac
    June 27, 2014 | 10:30 am

    Hi chris,
    Your article is nice. But am a bit confused.

    I am in a relationship since two years. In the initial six months of the relationship he came up with a reason that his mom is not agreeing for our marriage. Then we had a mutual break off and I did not contact him for a week then he called me back and he told he can’t be without me and he started crying. He promised he will make his family understand so I went back to this relationship after a few months he cashing me to come back. Then we went smoothly for some months.
    Now he came up with the same issue that his mom is not agreeing for our marriage. I am from India and in India arranged marriages are well known. His mother is seeking an arranged marriage for him and expecting a lot of money and dowry from the bride. I must say he is also double minded. Now it’s been 1 month that am crying and showing affection to hold him back but things are not working out. Still he saying the same that mom is not agreeing. Finally he agreed that he will talk to his mother again in 2 week simultaneously his mother is seeking other proposals for him and making him to talk to other rich girls.

    So in this situation what should I do. So after two weeks if he is saying the same thing should I initiate a break up in a cool way with don’t care attitude or just initiate a break up and crying and make him feel guilty or how it must be? Then i must plan for a no contact week? In this one week am scared that his mom will make him to talk to some other girl and reduce his pain? Or if I initiate the break off will he take that as a right moment to escape from this relationship? Or should I wait for him to initiate the break off. Coz I am getting that feel his mother’s attitude will not change after two week so he has to be stern at home to say that he needs me. I am not sure whether he gonna say that instead he would come and tell me that it’s not gonna work out.
    I really need him back in my life. I can’t be without him now.
    Kindly help me and answer all my doubts please. I am not able to go to my work since one month. If i say fine for a break off will be think that am really ok with it? am in a very bad situation.
    Thank you

    • zac
      June 27, 2014 | 10:46 am

      And one important thing is he told his mother that he totally broke up with me. but we are still in a relationship and our relationship doesn’t have any issue except his mother’s disapproval. so that is why he is again taking time to re-introduce the matter at home. but he is not stern since he cant hurt his mom too.. i am afraid if he dont feel the pain then he wont come back.

    • admin
      June 29, 2014 | 4:55 pm

      What was his moms reason for not wanting the marriage?

      • Zac
        June 29, 2014 | 6:34 pm

        Since they need more Dowry money, for that she saying just out hora cope is not matching but it’s matching we and my parents also checked it and it’s matching. Kindly give me a reply.thanks.

        • Zac
          June 29, 2014 | 6:35 pm

          * just saying that our horoscope is not matching.

          • Zac
            June 29, 2014 | 6:36 pm

            Will NC work in our case? Will he be stern to his mother?

            • admin
              June 30, 2014 | 2:29 pm

              I think NC is worth a shot.

  15. GL
    June 20, 2014 | 1:31 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I really like your articles! I have a couple questions if you would be so kind! :) I am trying NC now, but it’s hard…and there is a 90% chance I’ll see him this weekend at a festival.

    Question 1: How do I maintain the NC rule if I run smack into him?

    Also my situation is tricky, because I acted upon anger one to many times and blew up his phone with insulting texts.I was trying to force him into something he’s not ready for. (Don’t worry, he has done his share of jerk things). Well I’ve realized where my behavior has come from and I want him back. I want to show him I’m not this crazed person. My life is coming together the way I need it to, to be happy. I want him in it.

    I pushed him away by texting like a crazy person. He went from 100% into me and dropping the love bomb to: “I don’t want a relationship.” Well I stupidly tried to get him to step up by telling him a couple guys asked for my number at a bar.

    He promptly calls me, angry.

    “Why are you telling me about these guys? I don’t CARE. Are you trying to make me jealous? I don’t CARE!”

    Question 2: That sounded like jealousy to me, am I right? Things have been tumultuous between us, and I know he was hanging out with other girls, but I don’t say anything.

    I want him to be 100% about me again, and try it with the new knowledge about myself…I hadn’t dated in 2 years and really didn’t know how to just relax. Because he doesn’t “want a relationship,” I am definitely keeping my options open and talking with other guys. SIGH.

  16. Katie
    June 19, 2014 | 4:31 pm

    My boyfriend and I date for almost a year and we spent almost everyday together. We also live down the street from each other. He was never a feelings guy, never really showed when he was upset or overly excited.

    In our relationship, he always said I put in too much effort and he always felt bad. He would mention that he needed more time for work and his hobbies, but he would always agree to do stuff with me. We spent almost every night together, but still hadn’t said I love you or discussed marriage. Everything was going fine before he broke up with me, he was even trying to have sex with me the night before we broke up. Then, last week, he dumped me out of the blue saying that he wasn’t happy anymore and didn’t see us being long term; that he wanted to be on his own.

    I begged for him to give us another chance, but he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and that me trying was only going to make it harder for me. I tried talking to him for the three days after but finally deleted all of his information and haven’t talked to him in 3 days.

    Will no contact work with someone who doesn’t get emotional and who basically said there wasn’t ever a chance? I miss him so much and it kills me that he’s not upset.

    • admin
      June 21, 2014 | 7:19 pm

      Yes, it can still work.

  17. Rachel
    June 18, 2014 | 1:21 pm


    Ive been dating this man for two weeks, I really like him, but feel he’s distracted. Im 44 and he’s 65. He says Im the only woman he is interested in and that Im the only woman he want to see.e sends me text non stop. Heres the deal… We met online, and he continues to check his (this dating site) account for emails and possibly chatting with other women. I know this to be fact because my girlfriend is on the same site, i have her password. Anyway, we finally slept together one afternoon. We spent the next four hours together hiking which was fun. We parted ways at 5pm and that night I didn’t hear from him. The next morning he sent me a generic text, “good Morning”, and I replied. Usually he send me multiple text, but after I replied, good morning back to him he stopped texting me. I knew he had a dentist appointment that morning, but it wasn’t on the moon. I waited about six hours and used my girlfriends account to see if maybe he was just busy, and sure enough he was, he was busy on the dating site. So, without any hesitation I sent him a text: (I was taking him to this warehouse of recycled materials I frequent, and he was interested in going to) BTW, thus far he’ll be the one to ask me out but leaves the planing to me (apparently he feels my life is more fascinating). Anyway I sent him a text via phone once I saw him on the dating site and he had not contacted me that day with anymore than a good morning.. Heres the text: I had a lot of fun with you yesterday and thank you for thinking to bring wine, it was great! (Im going to have to buy that label) Im so sorry to do this but Im going to have to cancel tomorrow. Its super hot and supposed to be around 100 and the warehouse doesn’t have air conditioning, so it will be miserable. Have a really great day and try to stay cool!! His reply to me was:Do you want to get together and do something else? My reply: Hey, Im not getting the vibe from you today that were a good match. You’ve been very distant (the whole reason why I generally wait to have sex) Im not much for those hot and cold games people play so I made other plans. His reply: I didn’t contact you much because I spent most of the morning in a dental chair (my thought was it was 6 hours! but I didn’t say anything) I haven’t changed at all nor have I cooled wanting to see you. Thursday morning I’ll probably be the same. Getting a root canal done that day. I thought I had told you about both of these appointments. My unspoken thought was sure you were busy, but she you weren’t you checked the dating site without checking in with me first. I didn’t respond to his last email at 2:30pm. and he hasn’t tried to contact me either, but he has been on the dating site. Just a few minutes ago (its the next day and 9:30am I got a text saying, “Good Morning”. So now what???

    • admin
      June 18, 2014 | 2:11 pm

      Well, if your in NC then you simply don’t respond….

      • Rachel
        June 18, 2014 | 4:11 pm

        I didn’t respond to his text yesterday at 1pm, so I shouldn’t respond to his text this morning at 930 am?

  18. Lindsay
    June 17, 2014 | 9:24 pm

    My ex boyfriend was complete passive aggressive, I am more an aggressive aggressive. We were together for 6th months and during our relationship I would push him to be more straight forward and assertive. I was getting frustrated with him and I guess I pushed him too far and he broke up with me. Afterwards I felt very guilty, so for the following week after he broke up with me I had been texting him trying to apologize for being so pushy and aggressive with him and telling him that I realize that I must learn to react and respond to his passive aggressive nature differently. He won’t budge. Is it too late to apply the no contact rule? And what should I say to initiate it?

    • admin
      June 18, 2014 | 1:31 pm

      Aggressive aggressive hahaha.. Believe it or not but I prefer this.

      Not too late for NC.

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