How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

If you want your ex boyfriend to miss you (after your breakup) then you definitely came to the right place. You will find that my site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery is a lot different than the rest of my peers. I don’t write articles for the sake of writing articles. In fact, I would say that I don’t write articles at all.

I write in-depth guides that will help you accomplish a specific goal. In addition to that, I am extremely involved on this site. Me and my team respond to every comment personally and as long as your comment relates to the topic that my “in-depth guide” covers you should get a response within a day (unless it’s the weekend.)

Now, I know that’s a bit of a shocking statement to make especially when you consider the state of the “get your back niche” these days. I mean, just the other day I was doing research on a forum and I saw hundreds of women NOT getting answered. But I really feel that’s what makes Ex Boyfriend Recovery different from the rest.

We have a whole team dedicated to upholding our “motto,” if you will.

What’s our motto?

That everyone who comes to the site to read, watch, or comment should be helped and attended to.

Oh… how rude of me.

Perhaps I should introduce you to “The Ex Recovery Team.”

Now, throughout this article you may notice that a few of our team members chime in and offer little tidbits of advice on top of the advice that I am dishing out. Don’t be alarmed by that.

You are still learning from me, Chris Seiter, it’s just that I always think five heads are better than one.

But perhaps I shouldn’t get too touchy feely here. You are here for a reason after all and that reason is to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

So, since you are inquiring about how you can make your ex miss you this page is going to be focused solely on that. So, without further ado, I give you the method in which you should employ to make your ex miss you.

1 - Will Making An Ex Boyfriend Miss You Help You Win Him Back?

You are here to learn about how to make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

If you are then this makes me assume that ultimately you want your ex boyfriend back. After all, why else would you want to make him miss you?

(Well, I suppose getting revenge on him is an answer here but lets just assume that, that isn’t the reason you want to make him miss you.)

The thinking goes a little like this,

“If I make him miss me then eventually he will realize that he wants to be back in a relationship with me.”

So, lets do a little role playing here and assume that you end up taking the advice I teach on this page to heart and successfully make your ex boyfriend miss you.

Do you think he will come back?

Do you think making him miss you alone will be enough?

Unfortunately no…

Don’t get me wrong, you will absolutely have to make your ex miss you if you want any chance of winning him back but it isn’t going to be enough alone.

Think of it like a puzzle.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back you need to put the entire puzzle together,


However, simply getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is essentially like trying to put a puzzle together with just one piece.

It’s impossible.

But that’s why you need a reference guide to teach you to put all the pieces together. So, The Ex Recovery Team and I have put together an entire book for doing just that.

It’s called,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Think of it like the ultimate step by step game plan for getting your ex back. It takes you through the process from start to finish. It gives you all the puzzle pieces and covers just about every situation you can think of.


Take a look at the situations we cover in PRO,

  • You Cheated
  • They Cheated
  • You Cheated On Each Other
  • Long Distance
  • Being Blocked
  • He/She Has A New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • If You Slept With Them
  • Engagement
  • If They Are In The Army
  • If You Have A Child Together
  • If You Have Been Friend Zoned
  • How To Get Them Back After A Long Time Apart (1 Yr +)
  • They Broke Up With You
  • You Broke Up With Them
  • If You Work With Them
  • If Your Ex Just Got Divorced
  • If You Just Got Divorced
  • Getting Your Husband/Wife Back
  • If You Think You Were The Rebound
  • If They Were On The Rebound
  • What To Do If They Are Married
  • What If There Is An Age Gap
  • If You Are Pregnant (Women Only)
  • What If Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant (Men Only)
  • On Again/Off Again

But you are probably getting bored of hearing me talk about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO aren’t you? After all, you did come here to make your ex boyfriend back, right?

Well, then lets get right to it.

I give you the ultimate guide for making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Please enjoy it! Oh, and one thing we are really good about here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery is answering people’s questions. So, if you have any type of question about the process I am about to teach you feel free to ask us in the comments section of this article or you can ask Leia, our support rep at [email protected]

Lets dive in!

ExBoyfriend Recovery PRO

Get the Fairy Tale Feeling Back again with our Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Learn More

2 - You Have A "Missing" Advantage Already


One of the things that I have always found fascinating when it comes to researching breakups is the scientific data that I come across. You see, I am one of those people who is low on faith.

Faith = Believing in something without seeing it.

And perhaps that’s a little strange for the profession that I have chosen since a lot of getting an ex back is all about believing in an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think it would be wrong of me to try to teach you something without having proof it works which is why I find the scientific research done on breakups so fascinating.

So many insights can be derived from them.

Take The Brain Study As An Example…

Did you know that science has proven that after a breakup you experience the same type of feeling that a drug addict would feel if he/she was going through a withdrawal period?

In 2005, psychologist Art Aron, neurologist Lucy Brown, and anthropologist Helen Fisher all teamed up to do an interesting study on individuals who had just recently gone through a breakup.

They decided to have the individuals put a brain imaging tool on and then showed them pictures of their ex.

The scientists were trying to determine what was happening in the brain of the people who just went through the breakup.

The results were shocking.

The part of the brain that lit up was the same part of the brain that is commonly present in drug addicts who are going through withdrawal.

So, I guess it’s true what they say.

Love is a drug!

But one simple study probably isn’t enough to sway your opinion, huh?

Ok, lets dive in a little deeper and look at the interesting world of “Facebook Creeping”

The Facebook Creeper Statistic


I have done this.

Hell, I think everyone does this after a breakup. It’s human nature to be curious about what your ex is up to post breakup. I remember in my circumstance with my most recent ex I would think to myself,

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.36.41 PM“I wonder if she is depressed… I bet she is. Let me look and find out.”

And ever since Facebook was invented it has become the ultimate tool for spying on on ex. Just ask Veronika Lukacs who conducted the study as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis, in which she looked at how many people have admitted to “Facebook Creeping” on an ex.

Now, if you don’t know what “Facebook Creeping” is it’s actually quite simple.

Facebook Creeping = Spying on an exes Facebook profile after a breakup to see what they are up to.

You won’t believe how many people admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook.

Nearly 90%!


That’s incredible.

You realize what that means, right?

Well, it means that there is a nearly 90% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to come strolling by your Facebook profile assuming you are still friends there.

That’s amazing.

But again, I still feel this incredible need to provide you with overwhelming statistics before I specifically talk about the advantage you have.

The Overwhelming Statistics In Your Favor


Did you know that 71% of people claim that they think about their ex too much?

Now, does that necessarily mean that if your ex falls into the 71% category that he is going to be missing you?

No, remember, this statistic is basically just saying that 71% of people think about their exes too much. It doesn’t dive too deep into what he is thinking when he is missing you.

He could be thinking negative things…

He could be thinking positive things…

We just don’t know.

Nevertheless, thinking about an ex too much certainly is a start towards missing that ex.

But it gets even better, 60% of people who are married or dating say that their ex is on their mind too much. So, this basically tells us that even if you are married you may still think about your ex too much.

What are my thoughts on this statistic?

Well, I think the important distinction that has to be made is if they are thinking about their ex TOO MUCH or just a little bit. I think it’s human nature to have your mind wander to the past and think about an ex.

Hell, I am sure even my own wife has had this happen from time to time but it’s not like she can turn her mind off.

No one can.

But there is a definite difference between having your mind take a small trip down memory lane and thinking about an ex all day every day.

I would be curious to hear what people defined as thinking “too much”

Oh, and in case you are wondering where I got these statistics, the Yahoo Dating section!

Now I want to talk about your “Big Advantage”

The Big Advantage That You Have

I got pretty darn boring just now and threw out a bunch of statistics for you. The statistics were meant to prove one thing.

What The Statistics Prove = That even after a breakup, without you doing anything, your ex is thinking about you way too much

So, if your ex is thinking about you too much then you can ultimately use that to your advantage, right?

That’s your big advantage when it comes to making a man miss you. As a default, he is already thinking about you too much. So, that puts you in a pretty good place because many of you will find that it’s not going to take too much to get him to miss you.

Now, does that mean that it’s easy to make a man miss you?

Absolutely not.

There are a lot of factors involved.

But here is my vision.

Right now your ex, as a default, is thinking about you too much,


Now, imagine if you took an ex who was thinking about you too much and coupled it with a professional’s strategies,

My strategies

Making him miss you should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, there is still one more thing that I think we need to cover before I can give you the strategy you should implement and this is something that is going to be important for you to understand because it’s going to directly affect your chances for making him miss you.

The Number One Factor That Determines Whether He Misses You Or Not

Let’s role play.

Lets pretend that in your entire life you have only dated two men.

Man One – Was the great love of your life. He treated you like a queen, made you feel butterflies and as you were dating him you would often think to yourself, “I think he may be “The One.””

Man Two- You also loved Man Two but he did not treat you so well. Your entire relationship, while electric was full of fights. Man Two had a bad habit of putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself.

So, lets assume that you have broken up with both of these men.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.42.07 PMWhich one do you think you are more likely to miss?

Man One, right?


Because he treated you like a queen and your overall relationship with him was better.

And that brings me to my ultimate point.

Without a doubt the number one factor that determines whether a man will miss you or not is always going to be your past relationship with him.

Now, I am not like those other relationship experts out there that will tell you what you want to hear 100% of the time.

If you had a horrible relationship with your ex your chances of having him miss you is going to be lower. That’s just the way it is. Of course, if you had a great relationship with him your chances will be higher.

So, it works both ways.

The Secret Advantage Of YOU Initiating The Breakup


Ok, one more thing to talk about before we can start getting down to the actual strategy of making an ex boyfriend miss you.

Did you know that you have a “secret advantage” if you were actually the one to initiate the breakup with your ex?

This one is just pretty much common sense. As you know, there are usually three outcomes to a breakup.

1. He Can Break Up With You- Where your ex boyfriend actually is the one to initiate the break up.

2. You Can Break Up With Him- Where YOU actually are the one to initiate the break up with him.

3. You Both Mutually Agree To Break Up- This one is where you both break up mutually. No side strikes first.

I highlighted the “you can break up with him” choice because you will have a small advantage in making your ex miss you if you initiated the breakup.

We have already established above that you have an advantage in the fact that most people say that they still think about their ex too much but when you add in the fact that you initiated the breakup your advantage is going to be a little more distinct.

When I get to talking about the no contact rule (really soon) I am going to talk about psychological reactance.

But I suppose I can give you an early taste here since it is definitely going to apply.

Psychological reactance theory basically states that when you take away someones options to do something their attraction to gain their freedom to get that option back increases.

Think of it like this.

Lets say you are walking in the store with a toddler named Ricky (no idea why I picked that name but bear with me here.) Ricky tugs on your pants and points to a toy saying,

“I want that toy!”

You immediately say,

“No, you can’t have that toy.”

Well, now that, Ricky’s freedom to have that toy has been taken away what does he want more than anything?

The toy!

This is psychological reactance in a nutshell.

So, by breaking up with your ex you actually increase the chances that he will miss you because his freedom to have you has been taken away.

Pretty interesting, right?

Of course, there is one case where this might not work as well.

The ONE Case Where You Might Not Have This Advantage

If you broke up with your ex because he cheated on you.

Cheating is one of those topics that is difficult for everyone involved (including me an impartial third party.)

“Wait, why is it hard for you?”

Easy, it’s hard because I am the one that has to come up with the game plan for putting a “cheating couple” back together. Thus, I have to do a lot of research on the topic to determine the best way to proceed.

So, like I said above, you probably aren’t going to have this secret advantage if you broke up with your ex if he cheated on you.


Because clearly something went wrong with your relationship.

Generally speaking people don’t cheat on a whim.

It’s not like a guy wakes up one day and goes,

“ALRIGHTY! Today is the day I cheat on my girlfriend.”

It’s usually a slow process that takes place over months. And for a man to cheat on you generally means that the wasn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.

Now, does that mean that he never loved you if he cheated on you?

No, Esther Perel, has dedicated pretty much her whole life to studying infidelity and she has found that oftentimes men and women who cheat are still in love with their partner. They just want more excitement in their sex lives.

Now, take that whatever way you want.

I am going to take it as if there is a fundamental problem with your relationship because in my mind a man who is fully satisfied with his relationship will be excited and engaged in his sex life with his partner.

Nevertheless, if you broke up with your ex because he cheated then you aren’t going to have this small little advantage that I am talking about.

Now lets look at the other side of the coin.

The ONE Case Where You Will Absolutely Have The Secret Advantage

If you broke up with him and he didn’t want you to.

Above I established that the the secret advantage that I keep talking about heavily revolves around this idea of “psychological reactance.”

And to be honest I can’t think of situation that screams “taking a mans freedom to have you away” more than this one.

If you broke up with your ex boyfriend when he didn’t want you to break up with him then you have definitely left him with the impression that you are a very rare commodity.

It’s a bit of that law of scarcity.

You will find that the more scarce you are the more attractive you will be to men in general.

It’s the same way that diamonds are so attractive to women.

It’s the fact that they look pretty AND they are very rare.

I mean, something tells me that you wouldn’t find a diamond so attractive if you go buy it for a dollar at the dollar store.

Anyways, lets move on to the meat of this guide.

How to make a man miss you after a breakup!

3 - The "Make Him Miss You" Strategy

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,


Pretty straightforward, right?

“Umm Chris… no it’s not.”

Well, don’t worry. It will be because I am going to break it down for you.

The “BIG” strategy for making your ex boyfriend miss you is divided up into four different parts,

1. The No Contact Rule
2. Social Media Game
3. The “Frank Sinatra Effect”
4. Jealousy Tactics

Lets start from the top!

4 - PART ONE: The No Contact Rule

(For more in-depth information on the No Contact Rule and how to PROPERLY put it into practice please check out the No Contact Rule Book)

talk to me

Throughout this site you will find that the No Contact Rule is a pretty big theme.

Hell, I even wrote an entire book about it (The No Contact Rule Book.)

But why is it such a big theme?

Why do I talk about it so much?

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.49.58 PMWell that’s easy to answer. The no contact rule is without a doubt one of the most successful strategies for getting an ex back. A few weeks ago I compiled all of my recorded success stories to try to determine any correlations that I could find between what the people who had actually won their exes back were doing that the people who were failing weren’t.

Turns out the no contact rule was present in 74% of the successes.

But to be honest I think that number is actually a lot higher than that.


Because a portion of the success stories that I had recorded didn’t give me much information.

They just said something like,

“Thanks, I got my ex back.”

Not really deep enough for me to determine what that particular person did to succeed in getting their ex back, huh?

Don’t believe me?

Ok, here is a sample of one of the “thin” success stories that I got,




So, if you were to ask my opinion on how many of the successes used the no contact rule I would put the number closer to 90%. Whatever the case, one thing is very clear.

The no contact rule is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

But how does it make him miss you?

Good question.

In order to answer that I think we first need to define the no contact rule.

The NC Rule (No Contact Rule) is a rule that states the following:

You are not allowed to call, text, email, Facebook or Google your ex for a specific period of time. If during that “period of time” you are contacted by your ex you are not allowed to respond. The no contact rule serves three main purposes. It gives both of you a “cool off period” to calm down from the breakup, it gives you the opportunity to improve yourself during the “cool off period” and it raises the chances that he will miss you.

Sounds simple, right?


The no contact rule is without a doubt the hardest strategy to complete on this site.

Hell, all you have to do is visit one of my “no contact rule” pages to see just how many women are struggling with it.

But you don’t care about that do you?

No, you care about the psychology behind why the no contact rule can make an ex boyfriend miss you, right?

Ok, lets tackle that right now.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I want you to ask me a question.

The question = Chris, what is the number one mistake you see people making after a breakup.

WOW, thanks for asking that amazing question 😉 .

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 3.18.52 PMThe number one mistake that I see people making after a breakup is begging. They beg for their exes back. The become GNATS and just stick around.

I mean, put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes for a second assuming that you were bugging the hell out of him after a breakup with you.

Would you find it attractive if someone you didn’t have feelings for anymore was bugging you every five seconds trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to do?

Something tells me you wouldn’t.

Now, how does this play into making an ex miss you?

Easy, a man cannot miss that which he sees every day.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

I know it’s kind of a weird choice when there are way more epic movies out there but for some reason “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

What can I say… I dig revenge stories.

Truthfully, I watch the movie at least once a year and you know what causes me to watch it?

Something reminds me of it and then I think to myself,

“Man, that movie was so good I miss the feeling that it gave me. Maybe I should watch it.”

But I only have that thought because I haven’t seen it in a long time. Lets say that I watched it every day for a year. I can tell you right now that at that point it wouldn’t be my favorite movie anymore. No, it would probably end up being my most hated movie. It would become stale and I would grow sick of it.

By not giving your ex a chance to miss you, via the no contact rule, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The No Contact Rule Makes You More Attractive (I Can Prove It)

Have you ever heard of the notion that “people want what they can’t have?”

People want “that” which they feel should belong to them. By taking something away from them (e.g. you make yourself unavailable by not communicating), the person will be motivated to pursue.

In the world of psychology, it’s called “Psychological Reactance”. This concept emerged from the work of the American psychologist, Jack Brehm in 1966.
“Brehm argues that individuals have a set of “free behaviors” that they believe they can engage in at present or some time in the future. Behavioral freedoms vary in importance, with some being highly important because they deal with critical survival. Stephen Worchel (2004) suggested that these freedoms help define the individual’s self-identity. A threat or elimination of freedom results in an increase of attractiveness of the forbidden act and the motivation to engage in that behavior.” In really simple terms, when you implement the No Contact Strategy, it’s like you are secretly saying, “You can’t have me. You can’t talk to me. I am depriving you of your freedom to be with me”.

With psychological reactance in play, your Ex is secretly thinking, “I want what you say I can’t have. It should belong to me and is part of me, so I will pursue it”

Ah, and that leads the way to another little hypothesis that I have.

According to psychological reactance your ex is going to want what he can’t have. We have already established that. But lets take a trip to fantasy land (your favorite place in the world) and say that you successfully get your ex back.

I have this theory that the harder you make it for him to get you back the more he will appreciate you when he has you.

My buddies first car is an example.

I had a friend who wanted a car more than anything when he was 16 years old. So, he spent an entire summer mowing peoples yards to get money to buy this beat up chevy truck that kind of looked like this,

old beat up chevy truck

Pretty crappy, right?

Here’s the thing.

He treated that car so good and he loved it more than anything. Hell, even now he reminisces about it. But I doubt he would have treated it so well if it had just been gifted to him.

In fact, there was one time that I asked him flat out,

“Why do you like this truck so much?”

His response was simple…

“Because I had to work so hard to get it. Dude, you have no idea how hard it was to scrounge up the money to buy this thing.”

So, here is my theory when it comes to you and your ex.

The harder you make it for him to get you back the more he is going to appreciate you once he gets you back. After all, I doubt you are in this to get your ex back and break up again, right? No, you want a relationship that is going to last.

And the no contact rule can provide that difficulty for him to succeed in getting you back.

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him.

I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

5 - PART TWO: Social Media Game

(For more in-depth information on how to use social media to get your ex back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

And now we move on to our second part of the strategy, social media,

strategy social media

Now, if you are confused as to what this is let me give you a quick history of social media.

Since the internet started… (No just kidding. I wouldn’t bore you to death with that.)

Look, here’s the deal.

Social media is an excellent way to make your ex miss you.


Well, above I established that close to 90% of exes “creep” on Facebook. In other words, the probability that your ex boyfriend is going to peek at your profile at some point post breakup is high.

So, why not prepare for that moment?

Why not pimp out your profile to be everything that he finds attractive in a woman.

How To Make Your Social Media Profile Perfect

I want to tell you a funny story that happened to my wife yesterday.

So, if you don’t know my wife she is in charge of our YouTube channel and our marketing experts. In other words, if we want to get featured anywhere popular she is in charge of making that happen.

Well, one day she decided that we should be featured on “Ted Talks” so she started trying to network with some of the people over at “Ted Talks” and she managed to locate one of the person’s Facebook profiles.

So, rather than asking me to reach out directly she decided that since this person was a man it would be better if she reached out since she knows she is a very beautiful woman.

There was just one problem.

This was her Facebook profile picture,

profile picture

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not going to make any man fall over himself. Well, except maybe me (that’s my daughter.) My wife, of course, knew this so she decided to change the picture to something really sexy like this,

ellas grove

That’s my wife in a model shoot for some clothing company named Ella’s Grove.

Anyways, what do you think happened to her after she changed her profile picture on Facebook from our child to a sexy looking picture of her.

All the men went wild (myself included.)

She was getting comments like,

comment 1

comment 2

comment 3

Ok, first off… what the fu*k?

Looks like I have to beat some people up.


We have some work to do!


No I am just kidding…

Please don’t take that seriously.

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 2.57.49 PMThe point of telling you this story was to show you how powerful a picture can be. You can potentially make your ex boyfriend one of those men and show him what he is missing out on by posting strategic pictures on your social media profiles.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to teach you my two best methods for catching a mans attention via social media.

1. The Profile Picture Change
2. The “Fun” Picture

Lets start with the profile picture change.

The Profile Picture Change

This is what my wife did and indirectly got all that attention from men.

Now, I am going to pick on myself a bit here.

Before I met my wife I heavily relied on good looks to attract attention. In other words, any picture I posted to Facebook looked like this,

not a good picture

Now, even though this picture isn’t bad it isn’t earth shatteringly amazing which is what I should be going for.

And then I met my wife….

The woman who forced me to get professional pictures done.

Like this,

professional pictures

Do you see the difference.

This is the kind of picture that I want you to be posting to your social media profile as your profile picture. Here is my general rule of thumb, any picture that makes you look like you belong in a magazine is definitely the one you should have as your profile picture.

So, I guess what I am saying is that you should hire a professional photographer to take your picture. Now, for those of you who don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and hire a photographer I have one piece of advice to you.

Often times it’s the things that make us step outside our comfort zone that yield the best results.

The “Fun” Picture

I have a question for you.

What do you think your ex boyfriend expecting you to do after the breakup?

He’s expecting you to mope around and be depressed.

Don’t believe me?

I remember an early breakup of mine where this is exactly what I thought.

“God I hope she is suffering.”

Pretty mean, right?

But when I would spy on her Facebook profile and see that she wasn’t depressed it would drive me nuts. I want this exact thing to unfold for you when your ex boyfriend snoops around your profile.

So, how can you accomplish this?

Easy, post pictures of yourself out having fun.

Here is a great example. Look at the picture below,

These girls like they are having fun. This is the kind of picture you want to post.

Because here is what he is going to think when he sees it,

“Wait, why is she out having fun? Why isn’t she sitting at home eating ice cream like I thought?”

Once you get him thinking that this thought is right around the corner,

“I’m kind of jealous…”

And as I am going to establish later in this guide jealousy can lead to a man missing you.

6 - PART THREE: The Frank Sinatra Effect

(For more in-depth information on The Frank Sinatra Effect check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)

frank sinatra

One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a man by the name of Frank Sinatra.

“The best revenge in life is massive success.”

Now, what does that have to do with making an ex boyfriend miss you?

Good question.

In order for me to answer it I first need to tell you a story. To me, teaching people to get back with their exes is my passion and in order for me to give people advice I need to understand the trends.

What works and what doesn’t work.

So, that’s why I am always keeping an eye on your comments and questions to me. But the one thing that warms my heart more than anything are the success stories!

Not just because I helped people get back together but I can learn so much from them.

Anyways, one trend that I began to notice with a lot of my success stories was the fact that the women who ended up succeeding were actually completely moved on from the break up and living successful lives.

It’s sort of like it was at this point that their ex finally woke up and saw their worth.

Hell, I even did an entire podcast about this phenomenon here.

Anyways, I kept seeing this phenomenon pop up again and again so when I did an audit of my success stories last month I learned that a lot of women who had actually completely moved on from their exes were able to get him back.

It sounds counter intuitive, right?

But maybe not.

Lets turn our attention back to psychological reactance.

By moving on from an ex boyfriend completely you are indirectly saying to him,

“You cannot have me. You have lost the freedom to have me.”

Which of course as you know, will only make him want you more.

And that’s where the Frank Sinatra effect comes into play.

I want you to “move on” without moving on if that makes any sense. I want you to live an incredible life outside of your relationship with your ex.

Here are a few of my best tips for doing this.

Specific Things You Can Do To Make Him Miss You During The Frank Sinatra Effect

In this section we are going to look at a number of things that you can specifically do to make him miss you while in the midst of the Frank Sinatra Effect. I absolutely love this because these are things that are in your control.

When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you have to accept the fact that there are a certain amount of factors that are completely out of your control. However, when it comes to making him miss you there are a lot of things you can do that will improve your chances. Buckle up because this may get long.

Tactic 1- Get In Shape

There is nothing that can catch a mans eye like a woman who has taken care of her body. Now, I am not saying that you are fat or out of shape. I am saying that this tactic (getting in shape) will be beneficial to you in not only making your ex boyfriend miss you but it will be beneficial in helping you with future relationships (if you have them.) How effective is this tactic? Let me tell you a story. There was a girl who had a crush on me in college. Like a fool, I didn’t do anything about it because like a typical guy I wanted the girls that I couldn’t get. Anyways, this girl had a very pretty face but I am not afraid to say that she was a little… chubby and for me it took away from her looks.

Pretty shallow I know…

Well, about a year and a half later I happened to run into her. Actually, I walked right past her because I didn’t recognize her. She had lost about 35lbs and looked amazing. In my absence this mediocre looking girl had turned into a beautiful goddess. Anyways, I was walking with my buddy when she yelled my name and we started talking. After we were done talking we went our separate ways and I remember my buddy going,

“Dude she is sooo HOT why did you let that one slip through your fingers?”

I explained that she didn’t look like that back when I knew her but now that I saw this new and improved version I wanted her immediately.

So, I did everything I could to try to go on a date with her which was relatively easy because she liked me (or so I thought.)

Anyways, we set up a relatively simple date to go on at a restaurant. The plan was that we were going to meet there and we would probably go for a walk after that. There was just one problem.

She never showed up.

During the day of the date I had reached out to her to ask if we were still on (BIG MISTAKE) and got no response…. the hours inched closer to kickoff and I still hadn’t heard from her. I was starting to get worried so like an insecure guy I reached out to her again,

“Hey, are we on for tonight?”

No response..

It was starting to become clear that I was going to get stood up if I went to the restaurant but I figured I would give it one more try.

“Are you there?”

Again no response…

She didn’t want to go on a date with me.

Ironic, huh?

Karma I guess!

Tactic 2- Repeat After Me: I Do Not Care About Him

This tactic is more of a mindset that you need to have. During your no contact period (which is when you should probably be in the Frank Sinatra mindset) make sure you don’t focus on your ex too much.

Just focus on the most important thing, you.

If you were to ask me what I thought one of the biggest mistakes that I see women engaging in are I would definitely have to say that becoming to obsessed with their ex is at the top of the list.

In order to truly “move on, without moving on” you can’t be too worried about what your ex is doing. You need to be worrying about what you are doing.

I haven’t talked a lot about this yet because maybe I am trying to save something for my book. but maybe I think it’s too good to leave out.

If you really want to make the most of the Frank Sinatra effect I am going to teach you an amazing strategy. Well, perhaps strategy isn’t the right word to explain this. No, I would say this is more of a philosophy.

I like to call it…

“The Holy Trinity”

(Oh, and this is not biblical at all I promise.)

You can divide the most important aspects of your life into three categories,


  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

I don’t have to explain what is comprised of the categories, do I?

Well, I will tell you what, I am just going to leave my book for that.

Basically if you want to utilize the Frank Sinatra effect to the fullest I recommend that you try to maximize these three areas of your life.

You will notice that in the graphic above there is an intersection of the three.

The intersection where all three meet.


Perhaps it’s better if I pointed to it for you,

HWR copy

What you are trying to do here is find a perfect balance between your health, wealth and relationships. By doing so you will jump up in attractiveness to your ex.

Trust me when I say that the “missing thing” will fall into place if you do this. It is important to remember that the two of you broke up and while you may want him back you need to understand that rome was not built in a day and you won’t get him back in a day. So, sit back and work on the holy trinity for a while.

Tactic 3- Social Life

You have two choices when it comes to breaking up with your ex. You can either

A. Let the breakup own you.


B. Own the breakup.

I am a guy and let me tell you that I do not find it attractive when someone, who after a breakup, sits on the couch all day and eats ice cream. In fact, that is what I expect pretty much every girl to do after a breakup. About five years ago when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time the exact thought I had was “I bet she is sitting on the couch right now crying and eating ice cream.”

Here is the kicker though, a few days later when I logged on Facebook I found that she wasn’t quite as devastated as I thought. She had posted pictures of her having fun with friends and basically having a really fun social life. While I didn’t immediately think “man, I miss her” it set me up for thinking it. Her active social life made me realize what I was missing out on and made me a little jealous and angry that she wasn’t as devastated.

7 - PART FOUR: Jealousy Tactics

(For more in-depth information on how to use jealousy to get your ex boyfriend back check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)


A lot of experts will tell you to not try to make your ex jealous. I will admit that I don’t necessarily agree with them on that. If you have a chance to bring up some deep inner feelings within him then I say go for it. Of course, if you are going to use jealousy on your ex boyfriend it has to be done a specific way.

It probably won’t go over too well if he checks on your Facebook profile and sees you making out with three different guys. No, using jealousy is an art. It has to be done subtly but at the same time be obvious enough for him to pick up on it. Here are a few examples of how to properly use jealousy.

Example 1- Movie With A Male Friend

In this example I am going to show you a specific text message that is meant to make your ex a little jealous. Notice how in the example below you didn’t specify if your movie date was with a male or a female. You basically leave it up to your ex to assume if you went to see a romantic movie with a guy or a girl.

romantic movie text

Example 2- Did I See You?

This one is a little riskier but you are almost guaranteed to make your ex a little jealous which will hopefully contribute to him missing you. In this text message you are basically saying that you mistook him for a “hot guy” at a bar (or any other place you can think of.) Again, this one is risky but the reward is definitely higher.

jealousy (did I see you at)

If you want to learn more about what you can text your ex boyfriend I recommend checking out “The Texting Bible.

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Misses You

I actually wrote a guide on how to tell if your ex boyfriend is still in love with you already but I thought I would give a quick recap here. After all, it might be important to figure out the signs that your ex misses you so you can determine if what you are doing is working. Below I am just going to give you a bullet point list so you can quickly reference the signs.

  • If he texts you
  • If he calls you
  • If he shows up at places you frequent in a non stalker way (if it is stalker like then that is just creepy)
  • If he has positive reactions when you see him in person.
  • If he keeps in touch with your family.

If something on this page or website confuses you do not be afraid to comment in our comments section below. Remember, your comment, as long as it is legitimate, will be made live and I will respond to you personally.

What Do You Think? (5,009)

  1. Mary - 0


    He broke up with me a few months ago after a 4 year relationship. We had trust issues and he said he couldn’t be with me now. He said that maybe there will be a chance for us again. We haven’t talked for 78 days. I deleted him from facebook, because he was constantly appearing on my news feed and he seemed quite happy. As time passes by, I find it harder and harder to stop missing him. I’m afraid that he’s moved on.. I don’t know if I should text him or wait for him to do something. This weekend I’m going out with my friends and I find out that maybe he’ll be there (not because of me, but because we both loved the place). I’ll try to look great and be positive, but I’m afraid that he won’t notice because I don’t know if he still cares. Also, I don’t know if i should greet him, try to talk to him (we ran into each other a few times, but we didn’t even say hello..). I don’t know if I should do anything at all. Should I be the one to make the first step or should I wait more? I’m afraid if more time passes, he’ll move on (if he hasn’t yet). What should I do?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi Mary,

      it has been 78 days, more likely he has moved on..either you initiate contact or try to do nc first..because even if you didnt talk, the past dags were not focused in improving yourself

  2. Lillie - 0


    Hi , my question is what if the reason I broke up with my ex of 7 months is because he didnt want to get married right away . He never told me he loved me after 7 months and he made it clear to me that marriage was not on his mind right now and that he knew it was on mine. So I broke up with him but I want him back.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lillie,

      it’s either you change your mind about gettting married now, or you move on to meet the right guy

  3. Hailey - 0


    Hey, I have commented here before, but there has been (somewhat) progress since then I think. My ex boyfriend, Call him ¨C,¨Almost got into a fist fight with another guy. The thing is, this guy had been trying to get with me (although i dont think C knew about that part) and was telling me lies about C, like that he left me for another girl that C is good friends with. I believed him, and asked around but i never mentioned it to C. It got back around to C, and so he and the other girl came to me and told me how it was not true. I said ok, and went on. But, after i left, C started a fight with the guy for telling rumors about him. I thought it was odd. When I see C around I can tell he looks at me and glances at me when he sees me but if i catch him he looks away. He still doesn´t try to talk to me (nor i, him) , but hes more receptive to me, to an extent, i guess. He still seems to be doing fine if not better on the surface; a few days ago the same guy he tried to fight brought something up that C supposedly did while we were together in April and i didnt believe it, but some friends and some other acquaintances confirmed it. thought i already knew about. It affects me directly, so i asked if C and I could speak privately and he was actually kind about it. I told him about the other guy trying to get with me and telling lies and stuff, and he made a pretty disgusted face but it only lasted a few seconds. I politely smiled and said thank you and walked away. The next day, he actually approached me and asked if i had ¨sorted it out¨ with the other guy, to which i replied, ¨ I told you i already blocked him, what is there to sort out?¨ C replies, ¨Well did you tell him to fuck off and stuff?¨ I said no, i bocked him, he said good and that was basically the end. This was yesterday, but throughout the rest of the day he seemed fine, exactly like he has been acting. Also yesterday, my two friends ¨hooked me up¨ with another guy, who is on a sports team with C and I and he is also friends (not super close, though, just buddies) with C. C doesn´t know about it as its very recent… but I´m hoping that maybe this could get a reaction out of C? I dont know if the conversation he started about the other guy who spread rumors was honestly him wanting the guy to shut his mouth, or if he was maybe jealous… or maybe both. I don´t know, but the whole thing really messed with my feelings. Im just trying not to give myself false hope. Advice? 🙂

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Hailey,

      to be safe, let’s just lean more on the side that he’s just reacting and doing damage control because he’s character is on the line..

  4. Alaynasam - 0


    It was a one tear relationship, and we are married for 2 months. After the narriage i felt like he has taken me for granted. We both are 19 and dont live together yet. We had on and off problems. I doubt is he was cheating on me although i have no proves. So it was yesterday night that i realised he doesnt love me anymore, because of an incident. I always gave my 100% but somehow i didnt feel he was much into me. So i asked him to forget me and after one hour of begging he stopped and didnt message. What should i do to make realise. I loved him truly. Im a bit overweight should i lose weight?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi Alaynasam,

      You’re both so young.. Yes, you need to improve yourself.. but if you’re married, why arent you living together?

  5. Didou - 0


    My ex is just back from an other country. He broke up with me a year ago 13 September 2015.we were together for nine years. Last night he text me asking for when and where we can met…but this hurt me too much because he didn’t call me. I don’t know what to do?? I don’t think he will ask me back he just want me to stay friends even he is telling me that he love me and he will never love but me.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Didou,

      how different are you now from the person he broke up with?

  6. Sanky - 0


    Hello, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me on 22/9 after stating that he can’t stand it that I keep blaming him whenever something wrong arises… But I’m someone who likes to talk things out then and there.. To me if I want to talk things out I would tell him “what he did that hurt me” which might seem as though I am blaming him but definitely I am not… After our breakup he did text me then and there, we even met twice.. But eversince he saw my friend(the one he hates because he disrespected me) comment on my Facebook post he got angry and told me to cut all ties.. I really don’t know what to do? Ever since then, I didn’t text or call him. It’s been 5 days.. I really miss him what should I do?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sanky,

      Try doing the no contact rule for 30 days. Focus in improving yourself… Follow the advice above to increase your chances of making him miss you.. and then slowly build rapport after it.

  7. Nafi - 0


    I think i improved with NC .I really appreciate the links about First Texting Message but i think i have to erase his mind from what i said to him.
    After my first visiting,when i get back to my country,he said to me “I didnt have special feeling in bed (although it wasnt sex) your touch wasnt good .We should keep on talking to know you more cause 8 months relationship is short”
    I said “so you want a b***h besides yours is small but it is not a big deal for me”
    He got upset and never accepted my apology.He said we can be friend ,never Skype,time will tell what will happen”after that he replied me shortly that made me to choose NC.
    My question is :If he doesnt want to Skype after the duration of sending message,should i tell him this??
    “I have to tell you a truth ,i was just putting you in a test by saying that cause i wanted to check some items in your manner .
    on the contrary,it wasnt and you know your p***s is big. I was surprised you believe that”

    Thanks in advance

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      he probably just said that out of anger.. if you really changed it will show, and he will notice it.. he probably doesnt want to talk about what he said when he was angry..

  8. Laura - 0


    This is crazy I have so many questions and I am the type of person that needs answers!
    My bf and I met and got together in Aug of last year and we dated for about seven months then he dumped me for the person he broke up with for me (which I didn’t know at time him was in a relationship) anyway, I fought not only once but twice for that relationship with him and he cheated on me with the ex so it was back and forth between me and this other girl…he is mad at me and blocked me from phone, texting and Facebook because he would lie to me about other person so I went through his phone…so my question is even though I haven’t contacted him and he is mad about the phone thing do you think there is a chance that he could still love me or miss me? I fought for the relationship but this time I haven’t put up a fight do you think that could be weighing on his mind and he is with his ex and all they ever did was fight and argue but she did things in bed that I wouldn’t do because I have class and she is just nasty! Help please

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Laura,

      there could be a chance if they always fought but if he went back to her that means he realized that you’re a rebound and that he still loved his ex

  9. Maggie - 0


    Hi my boy friend broke up with me after my dad and him had a fall out we were in the relationship for almost 8months. I was devastated and immediately started begging him to take me back saying I’d do anything, we have seen each other a couple of times and he has requested that we remain the same as we were In the relationship without us actually being in a relationship.
    I told that I feel uncomfortable with this and he just said that I am impatient and that I should wait until he is in a better place to give me an answer but now today he has requested that I visit him on Friday to talk things through it sounded more like finalising the break up than anything else.
    So should I go or start my NC period from now.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Maggie,

      I think you should just start the no contact period

  10. B - 0


    so my ex and I dated for 2 years. I went away for an internship over the summer and he was constantly jealous and getting angry with me if I went out and dressed cute. He was always asking if other guys hit on me and what they said and I hated that because I didnt care what the other guys thought just what he did. After 2 months of fighting, he picked me up and we were fine for about a week. I started to stress out hard about it being my last semester of college and trying to figure out what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I was having mental breakdowns and stressing out a lot. He left me because he wanted to make more money and focus on his job. He said he didnt know how to balance work and me at the same time (new job). After about 2 weeks he called and said he wanted me back. I never had enough time to heal from him leaving the first time so even though I told him I understood and supported him I was still hurt and broken he left me. Needless to say he came back, found out another boy kissed me and he lost it. Then he started throwing things at me that felt like he was purposely hurting me telling me how all of these other girls wanted him…bla bla bla. I didnt care at first i just laughed and said well too bad you’re with me. Well it didn’t stop any girl that wanted him he had to tell me about. After seeing these beautiful blonde girls I lost all confidence in myself and started wondering if he even wanted to be with me, was I even good enough anymore? So i told him I needed reassurance because I was still hurt and my wall was still up. My birthday came around and he didn’t seem to give to damns about it. The next day I was talking to one of my best friends from home ( a guy) and he was just asking me how my bday went and I said it was okay I just got homesick and would have been nice to have gone home. My ex saw me texting him ( I thought he was sleeping that’s why I decided to start responding to anyone who may have texted me) and he got so angry and jealous of this guy i have told him time after time he had nothing to worry about. There was lots of crying and yelling. Then he promised he would never ever leave me. I was it. I was all he wanted. The next morning I lost my mind over school. I was depressed and needed him, he said I needed professional help and to call my mom because he was too busy golfing to want to talk to me. I got mad and broke my phone. I tried to call to say sorry a few hours later… nothing… i wrote a note and left it on his door saying sorry and all the reasons I loved him… no response 24 hours later I rode my bike to his place and told him I was sorry and I know I was dramatic and messed up and I was going to get my shit together. He said nothing. A few hours later he came over and all he said is he loved me but cannot be with me.. Two days later he blocked me on FB… then about 5 days after that I was unblocked and told he was CONSTANTLY checking my page by a fellow friend.. then 3 days later I was blocked again. I have been told he constantly looks up the boy I Kissed thinking I am probably with him when I am not. Is there any hope for him to come back again… I have gone almost 2 weeks no contact but I think he is waiting for me to reach out first like I did last time… I miss him like crazy and I dont want him to think he isnt good enough or w.e What on Earth do I do?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi B,

      try another week of no active in improving yourself and then initiate contact

  11. Karel - 0


    Hi, my boyfriend cheated on me several times, I tried so hard to make the relationship work, but i the end the relationship was ended by him because he said he was not inlove and happy anymore. He broke up with me through a text message, days after I was discharged from the hospital when I got sick. I didnt respond to him. And after two weeks, he sent me a message again asking that he lied when he told me he didhnt have feelings for me anymore. He told me that still loves me and he feels sorry for everything. I didn’t reply. A day after he sent another message again that ‘no matter how many women he talked to, he still longs for me after a long day’ and I tried calling him up but he didn’t answer my call. So i just texted hin that ‘I tried calling you but it seems like you blocked my number’ and he never replied. I am confused and it made me felt like I just gave in to his last text message and lost everything that I did with the no contact rule. 🙁

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Karel,

      how long did you do the no contact rule?

  12. jessica - 0


    i had crush on a boy and i texted him.everything went well for a month and i confessed that i love him. and after knowing that this girl is serious he told me he cant marry me he have family reasons even i didnt say him to marry me.then he started ignoring me and i begged him to talk and he didnt listen its been 6 days i am applying NC rule but i want him back because i love him.i love him alot and i want to be with him even just friends. can you please help how can i get over him

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jessica,

      Who is the girl that you’re pertaining to? Did you mean yourself? I think you went too fast.. How old are you both? Did you meet online?

  13. Nafi - 0


    I visited my boy friend for the first time in another country 3 months ago.then something happened that he got upset from me and never accepted my apology and told me we should be just friend.Now its been 6 weeks that im in “No contact ” period.
    If after “No contact” period ,i send message to my boy friend and im sure he would be respond me nice cause he thinks we should be friends,should i send him message the day after ?( like the past every day?)
    I meant how often should i send him message?cause i know he wont start conversation ,unless i start.
    Thanks in advance

  14. Serenity - 0


    Okay, me and my ex broke up in September. The break up was kind of mutual I’m guessing, well I told my boyfriend to leave and he pack up his belongings and left but it was because we got into a really bad argument!… So after he left, we didn’t really talk much, well when we did try to talk it was bad and than he would ignore me when I did text him so after a while o just stop texting him…. Well for like the last two weeks we have started to talk again! He will text me good morning or if he didn’t get to a message of mines right away, he will say I’m sorry for not responding… But any who, is it just me or what but I want him to tell me where is this going! Or is it too soon for questions like that? He told me on his next day off which he was off for like three days, that we should go out to eat or hang out… But when he got the day’s off work… He didn’t make no effort of trying to hang out with me… What should I do? Or I’m over thinking it too much?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Serenity,

      you’re over thinking.. how long were you together and are you on and off?

  15. Katy - 0


    When ur ex doesnt talk to u at all at school so u jus stop going pass him and stop. Paying attention to him and then he finally realize that u have moved on and then out of nowwhere he wants to start hugging u and u try to give him a side hug what does that mean like why would he want to hug u after not talking to u for so long

  16. niti desai - 0

    niti desai

    Hi…i had a bf.n broke up with him due to fights between us.but he had already goven me commitment but due to this fight he got so angry with me that he decided to get engage with another girl liked by his family.his family didnt approve me due to caste reasons.then i started pleading and begging .but he was chasing me and showing that on cloud 9 kinda attitude.but after days he realised his mistake and came back again.then started saying i wil break this engagement in some in order to make him jealous i also told him that i waoted for u but u didnt turn up so my parents already found a guy for me n m fixed up with him.he started begging n pleading.then aftrsum days i accepted it.n v decided to break with our fiances and now i told him i broke with my fiance bt hes not ready to break coz his mom died 2 months back.he wants 2 break witj that girl but family is the reason.n his dad is in hirry to marry him next month what do i do in order to get hi.m back.i cant love without i chase him please do i attract him so that he decides to break up with that other girl.????plz reply fast

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Niti,

      I answered your first comment. I’m just going copy my answer there and paste it here ok?

      Hi Niti,

      are you really engaged to another man or you just said that to him? Do you want to try doing the no contact rule? You have to set a time limit on until when you wait because obviously he looks like he’s just making you wait for nothing

  17. Julia - 0


    Me and my ex are both 20 years old and have been dating for the past four years. We had an amazing relationship that seemed to be getting stronger and stronger over time. A little over a month ago he left for university ( only two hours away) and he was set on making sure our relationship worked under these new circumstances. He even broke down before leaving telling me he didn’t want him leaving to be the reason for our break up. We managed to see each other once a week but were both still struggling to adjust considering we were used to seeing each other almost every day for the last 4 years. After only four weeks into him being gone he broke up with me and told me that he is having such a good time there with his new friends and is constantly busy that he hasnt really been thinking of me and feels like we are losing our connection and that he is falling out of love with me. I feel so blindsided and confused as to how his feelings for me could change so drastically after such a short period of time away from each other. I was considering following the no contact rule but I don’t know how this could actually help considering the reason he left me was because our lack of contact and I’m scared it will only push him away further. Please give me any advice on what I should do.

    Thank you

  18. Kerry - 0


    lets be realistic here, almost everytime a couple break up they delete each other off their social media accounts. So please tell me, how will they see you looking and doing so well if they no longer have you on social media? Specifically if you had a long distance relationship and can’t plan to just bump into them

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kerry,

      You have to keep your posts public, so that they can see it through another account.. because that’s how they would probably do it.

  19. K - 0


    Does no contact work on a man with fears of intimacy who essentially ghosted me (totally withdrew, became very uncomfortable and said he didn’t think he could give me what I wanted, when I told him I’d like to see him more and suggested twice a week instead of once, but also opened up a little more emotionally. He said we would talk more, but I could tell by how stressed he was we wouldn’t. I truly feel like it was fear based. His mom committed suicide as a child, then had mean stepmom. He equates love with pain) at seven mos. when our relationship was getting to the emotionally intimate and vulnerable stage? Before that, we had a really great r/s never fought, he initiated all calls and dates, etc. It’s been 6 weeks and other than him liking two of my Facebook posts a few weeks later, we have had no contact. I was going to give it 8 weeks.
    Also, I’m scared if he sees pic of me with a guy friend on Facebook he might unfriend me. He liked two of my Facebook posts, but the last two posts other guys were flirting and making comments on and I feel like that is why he didn’t like them. Your thoughts?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi K,

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work.. but if he’s being like that because of trauma then he has to get professional help.. There’s no work around it unless he comes to terms with it. You can’t force him to do it. So, the best you can do is to set your own limits on until when you’ll be there and until when you’ll hope.

  20. K - 0



    We have been on and off and basically she can’t commit to the next level due to her own baggages. She has been sending me random stuff even when we said this is finally and we won’t be trying anymore.

    Is she missing me?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi K,

      it can be.. maybe she’s using the stuff to stay connected to you..

  21. Maria - 0


    Me and bf were together for 3 years then we broke up but I never let go and after three months seeing him again he asked me to move back which I did. Then after 9 months we broke up again and I moved out again…after a few months wr dating again for 9 months i went away for 1 month and when I came back he dumped me again. I alwaya felt insecure and last in the row during our entire relationship. He was always their financially but could never say loves me in the 4 years and 6 months we were together. Once he told me if he say so now I wont believe him. Me and his kids had to sort ourselves out ahen we disagree and they were never respectful. So.I did stand up for myself but it turned out negative against me. I did not contact him for a few days but today I asked him if we can break up slowly so I can get use to it and he agrees that we can go watch today …he said he will watching sport till 12 …he tect me after that and say he still to do will aee me at 5pm…I can feel that he is not looking forward really but I also cant understand why he still want to do if after he broke up and he ignored me the first three days untill last night when I text him and ask if we can break up slowly…I know I am stupid…maybe he does care and maybe he does not…so we going to at 5 pm …what must I do after that…seeing that I was the one asking if we can break up I can get use to not seeing him anymore…I love this guy and I am not young anymore neither is he….Please give me some advice except.for the NC advice…..Thanks

  22. K - 0


    Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2,5 years. We were highschool lovers and are now in College. On our two year anniversary he broke up with me, saying I was too needy, didn’t do anything for myself etc. I told him I am going to change and I realized I was wrong. I did try to change in the beginning and it got better but not as good as it should have been. But still, it wasn’t about me. He changed a lot. He used to read books and be mentally active, play instruments, think about the world but with the time he stopped doing that, only thinking about his body and fitness and friends. It made him superficial, to be honest. So in August when I was on vacation he kind of stopped texting me and was super weird. He then said he doesn’t know if he still wants a relationship with me. It ate me up. He left me hanging like this for about a month, he couldn’t decide whether to stay or leave me. We then decided to get some distance but it didn’t work very well, still texting, saw each other sometimes. I couldn’t handle it anymore, everytime we saw each other I couldn’t touch or kiss him. So I told him this is not working and I want him to make a decision. I told him about all his changes that I’ve noticed and he told me I am right, he has changed. He said he doesn’t have the time to do all the things I fell in love with again cause he has to focus on his study and fitness. I told him what’s most important to me is that he treats me the way he should treat me. Not let me down and leave me behind. Be there for me. He said he loves me but it’s not enough to stay in a relationship with me. I told myself to not beg for his love but I ended up crying and mentioning this and that if we could try this and that. He said it’s better to break up (“for now”). I asked him if he still wishes us to be together after he figures out what he wants for his life and he said yes. He said therefore we need to stay in contact though after, he said “you assimilated our breakup”. I told him the first couple of days I needed some distance and then if he cares for me we can still stay in contact. He said he doesn’t know how long it’ll take for him to find his path, weeks, months, years. He said he still would like to be with me even if I had a boyfriend during that time. But I don’t think I am going to stop loving him anytime soon. Our relationship was very strong, actually. I cried when he said he could possibly have a new girlfriend but he said not anytime soon though. I then said why do you say that, you said you don’t wanna miss the opportunity to get back together with me? And he said “We’re just talking about this because you asked me so, you’re hurting yourself by asking me this”. It’s been three days now. During the day I’m fine but in the evenings and nights I start crying and missing him. Not because I’m lonely. I miss his aura, I miss the way I feel while being around him, I miss laughing with him, I miss the way he makes me be a better person and how he motivates me to be better. I miss his humor and how he makes me laugh.
    So yesterday evening I was on instagram, but I deactivated my main account. I have a business account and I got on his page. He never posted anything, he was never into social media but then he posted a pic of his naked upper body. I saw him following girls I didn’t even know. It just made me tear up and I was so hurt. I thought I got stronger since the past few weeks it already felt like a breakup to me. But it just hurt me so much. I don’t know why he is doing that when he said he doesn’t wanna get into a new relationship yet anyway and doesn’t think about that stuff atm anyway. We were our first loves and never had anyone before us and I just can’t imagine him to have one night stands or have rebound relationships but why would he post a picture like that and follow girls then? I don’t get it. I’m just so hurt. Writing this just made me tear up again. The craziest thing is that we both moved to the same place cause we decided to study at the same university when we were together. He lives like 20 meters away from me. I thought he would focus on his studys just like I do but he went home already yesterday and posted that pic of him, tagging two of his fitness friends. It just made me so sad that he doesn’t really try to cope with the breakup, he tries to ignore it and distract himself with friends and a nude picture? Following other girls? I’m just so hurt. So my friends tell me not to contact him at all, that I need to accept that he has changed and that he just does those things right now what he thinks he needs to do. They tell me to move on and forget about him. My cousin just recently got back together with her boyfriend and it took them 3 months to get back together. She told me it’s okay to contact him now. She said I shouldn’t give him the feeling that I don’t care about our past relationship anymore, she said I should show him that I still care. I don’t know if there’s a difference between me and her since she and her bf grew up in Asia but they moved to the US a few years ago. She’s younger than me. I’m 20. I don’t know if you should cope with breakups differently depending on your ethnicity. My bf is half Asian. I know that I should stick to the no contact rule but I’m also afraid it’ll show him I don’t care about him anymore. I’m afraid he might get intimate with someone else even though I don’t think he would but his actions on instagram make me question my thoughts about him. It would hurt me too much if he got intimate with someone else. My question is what you think about my situation and what I should do. Yes, I want to get back together with him but I also know that right now it’s not the right time to contact him already and he needs time to figure things out on his own. I’m just afraid I’m losing the connection to him, mentally. I’m afraid we’re going to drift apart. My cousin told me it’s harder to get back together if we don’t stay in contact. I’m not ready yet either, I need to work on myself as well. But I just don’t want him to think I don’t care about him anymore. My cousin suggested me to be friendly to him and still care about him, just like friends but still talk about private stuff like we were in a relationship. She said I need to show him that I still care and that I’m not giving up on him BUT accepted the breakup. What do you think? I really don’t want to lose him. Not because I fear being alone but because being with him makes me be a better and happier person than I am already. I have been researching about this topic on every website I know and I wrote down things which I need to focus on, e.g. fon’t want to him to think I’m trying to reel him back in, I just want to seem like an old friend reflecting on fond memories. remain kind and sincere, confident and natural, if he accomplished anything great, letting him know I still think he is someone special may just spark a flame that has’nt yet gone out, reminding him of the good we brought to each other by telling him about an achievement or a decision I made that he always wanted me to go for. But it also says that by no means, I can make the first contact. Gurus always say to not text back if he does text me but my cousin says I should reply friendly and stay committed and I do agree with her to some extent. Let me know what I should do. I’m really confused. I don’t want to lose him.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI K,
      unfortunately, the books are only available through credit card for now.. If it’s really about him knowing how much you still love him, then why didn’t that stop from liking other girls pics?

  23. Kristy - 0



    So basically the guy I’ve been with for 6 months broke up with me after he found out he’s going to be working more and may need to deal with a family members health issues. We had kind of a “off” week for us and I found out his family keeps in touch with his ex which made me insecure. Then he found out about work and his family member and it was like “I can’t do this”. We have spent almost every day of the last 6 months together, have always been very “together” even when we would
    Bicker a lot. All of a sudden he said he needs to focus on his things and can’t have arguing in the back of his mind during it. He feels awful for hurting me and keeps saying he doesn’t want to string me along but needs time etc etc. yet, he is liking my fb pics and texting me. I feel borderline friend zoned, but when I didn’t talk to him he posted a weird status. He always responds if I text him and I’m planning on trying no contact but a part of me feels like he’s just done. I don’t understand how he went from so attentitive and caring to this. What do I do??

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kristy,

      whether he’s done or not, I think you need to start doing the no contact period to heal… if you keep taking to him, would that help you to get him back?

  24. Love Bug - 0

    Love Bug

    So I’m currently in no contact, however my ex contacted me three days in and ask me if I was ok because of some activities taking place near me. He said he knew I didn’t want him to text me but he still had to. I didn’t reply and he never texted back. I’m now wondering if I did the right thing not replying and if he will ever try to reach out to me again or even try to get me back. I am now day 7 of no contact.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      he probably will stop but that just because he respects your space not because he’s angry…

  25. April - 0


    A year ago, me and my bf broke up. I begged and pleaded in the first week after the break up and then came across this site so I pulled NC on him immediately. 15 days later, we got back again. Now, just recently, specifically a year after our first break-up, we broke up again. We kind of had a “closure talk” already three days after the break-up but I still want him back and now, I’m on my second day of NC. Will this still work on him the second time around?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi April,

      There’s no guarantee that it will, but I suggest that you stick to it this time. Do it for 30 days no contact

  26. V - 0


    Saw this site by chance just now. What do you do if his depression was the cause of the breakup?
    He said Im prefect, but he is under alot of life stresses, and doesn’t want the guilt of dragging me down. At the start I texted out of concern for him but now Ive been NC a month, doing my own thing. Not sure how to approach this.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi V,

      that’s actually the right approah.. you cant control him so the best you can do is to give him space and let him heal.. I hope he went to therapy

  27. Kayley - 0


    Hello! Neither me nor my ex have social media pages and we don’t really have mutual friends. Do you think this hinders my chances since he won’t be able to see how I’m having fun and moving on? Thanks!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi Kayley,

      Yes it does. So you have to open a social media account and be active in it because even if he doesn’t have one it doesn’t mean he won’t check yours. Even if he knows that you don’t have one before, it doesn’t mean he won’t get curious and try to find out if you did open one after you broke up with him. So open a social media account nd be active in it and make your posts public.

  28. Kayley - 0


    Hello! Neither me or my ex are on social media and we don’t really have any mutual friends (even though we dated for a of couple of years). Do you think this hinders my chances since he can’t see that I’m moving on?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi Kayley,

      Yes it does. So you have to open a social media account and be active in it because even if he doesn’t have one it doesn’t mean he won’t check yours. Even if he knows that you don’t have one before, it doesn’t mean he won’t get curious and try to find out if you did open one after you broke up with him. So open a social media account nd be active in it and make your posts public.

  29. Elaine - 0



    Im 23 and my ex is turning 29 in a couple weeks. I recently broke up with him about 2 weeks ago because I caught him cheating on me via text with another woman. I kicked him out the next day, and sent a flury of hurtful texts. My ex told me that it wasn’t what he wanted, and he was only talking to the girl about smoking, but I knew better because the texts calls were composed for the past two days only night and were pages long.

    Anyways, my ex texted me that he loved me and how he hoped I found someone that could make me happy as he couldn’t, and that he didn’t want this for us, but I made the decision for him when i called the cops because he wouldn’t leave my apartment. I asked him for my keys as he had already removed all his stuff and went to live with a friend, and I also told him we needed to separate our family phone plan. He agreed, but when i tried calling him so we could do so, he never responded. I then went to the phone account only to see he was also still talking to the girl I accused him of cheating on me with, so in a fury, after I texted the girl about how she helped ruin my relationship, I texted him a very scornful and hateful LONG text about how I wish he could burn in hell, how I couldn’t stop crying, how i gave him everything and how I never wanted to see him again. I then terminated his phone line, and changed my number.

    We were never friends on fb, so that was easy enough, but I blocked him just in case. After I had calmed down a couple days later, I sent a fb message about what exactly he did that hurt me and how it wasn’t just about how I thought he was cheating. It was more along the lines of he wasn’t ready to grow up and still had the mindset of a college, frat-boy without the college part. I am in nursing school so my priorities were different.

    We had made plans to get engaged within the next couple of months, and we were going to start a family shortly after.

    I have been completely torn, depressed and going pyscho as I miss and still love him dearly. He hasn’t returned my fb message, but I have begun implementing the 30 NC rule. It’s been about a week now since I last contacted him, and I am trying to work on myself.

    I want my ex back terribly even after I kicked him out and broke up with him, but I also want him to realise how he made me feel in our relationship. I felt neglected as his friends, video games, smoking and going out til 2 am all the time became priorities. My ex and I didn’t feel like a couple. I felt like we were roommates living in a frat house as guys and girls were always coming in and out.

    I just hope he can see the choices he made and will want to better himself. My ex wasn’t around a very positive crowd as all of his friends were single, lonely “frat” guys looking for a good time. My ex and I had plans of settling down soon, but it seemed like that was far in between.

    Please help me.

    I want him back, but I want him to be a man, and not the little boy I was dealing with all the time.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Elaine
      You can’t force a person to change. That’s why you need to be clear with your standards. But I think you’ve already told him what you wanted and what he did to hurt you so right now the better thing to do is to start doing the no contact rule and to start focusing on healing and improving yourself.

    • Elaine - 0


      Thank you for the reply Amor.

      You are right. I can’t force a person to change, I can only stay true to my standards.

      I did break the no contact rule a couple times this week. We have Hurricane Matthew close by so I sent him a couple of fb messages to see if he was okay. There was no response, and didn’t even seem like he was online, so I sent him an email, and even went as far as reinstating him on our shared phone plan so I could try calling him. There was still no response. I even tried texting his sister who hadn’t heard from him, and when I tried fb messaging his friends, they gave me no response even though they updated their fb statuses constantly. I was really worried since the hurricane is so close. I still haven’t heard from him, so I take it he is okay and may just be ignoring me?

      I think I may have went too far, so now I have to start the NC rule all over again, but I’m just nervous. Part of me thinks he may have gone back to an ex, while the other part thinks he may be living out on the streets somewhere.

      We had plans Amor. He was saving for an engagement ring, and planned on proposing witin the next couple of months. We had just talked about it.

      But I was getting fed up with his “partying” attitude, I didn’t feel appreciated and then I suspected he was cheating on me

      What should I do?

      How long should I implement the NC rule?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Do at least 45 days, and just focus in yourself.. He’s an adult and he has a lot of friends, he’s probably staying in one..

    • Elaine - 0


      Thank you again!

      I just wanted to let you know that I did break the NC rule with him. I fb messaged him to make sure he was alright because of Hurricane Matthew that was coming through. He messaged me back that he was safe and asked if I was.

      Is this an exception to breaking the rule? Can natural disasters be an exception?

      Anyways, I have to start my 45 count all over again today. I would have felt downright insane and awful if I hadn’t of checked in on him to make sure he was okay and safe. A lot of people along the coast were in HUGE trouble, and I didn’t know where my ex had moved to.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I understand.. Well, I think it’s ok now.. since it was really like an emergency…

    • Elaine - 0


      I’m sorry Amor,

      last question. It hasn’t been a good 21 days yet, and my ex already sent me a fb message stating ” I hope you have a great life and find someone to make you happy. I’m sorry things had to be this way it’s not what I wanted, but you’re better off with me. It hasn’t been easy, I’m trying to stay on my grind and get my life straight. Just not making the money I need right now. Thank you for everything.”

      How would you handle that situation? I haven’t responded back as I think this is a ploy for me to sweet talk him or soothe his hurt and pain, but I don’t know. I don’t want to seem heartless, but at the same time, why is he stating that now he wants to get his life straight? Now he wants to “get on his grind?” These were things I were stressing to him about during the duration of our relationship. No matter how many times I cried, begged, pleaded, yelled, patiently waited and calmly listened to his broken promises, he still did what he wanted when he wanted. Now that I kicked him to the curb and he has to fend for his own, all of sudden he wants to get his life straight and all of a sudden he is struggling to make ends meet. I know I can’t baby him, but should I respond to what he said? I know there are exceptions to the NC rule such as if an ex said, “let’s get back together” or etc.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I know it’s hard.. but you really have to stay strong in not responding to that.. that’s a good sign though..

  30. Gwen - 0


    My Boyfriend and I broke up just now, we have been on and off dating each other for about 6 months. Within this period, he once told me he was interested in another girl, but I tried to convinced him to stay for awhile longer, so I set a timeframe of a month before letting him go. Who knows that I was found pregnant at the second last week, and he decided to drag it a bit longer and we will end off the relationship after going through abortion. Since he loves the other girl so much and he wanted to try dating her. The day after coming back from the clinic, I decided to just let him go and thought of going through the abortion on my own, I talked to him and he decided to start an official relationship with me. He promised me that things will not be the same anymore, he won’t be seeing any other girls when he’s in a relationship, and also to take care of each other forever. Everything seems so wonderful, until the day before the actual abortion. He met up with the girl he is seeing and the girl insisted of being just friends with him and she doesn’t see any hope between them, he came back crying and telling me that he can’t bring himself to me and all the time he has been just trying to make me happy out of responsibility. He says he can’t stand me anymore, he’s sick of me. We argued and he started to keep distance from me. After coming back from the abortion, I texted the other girl and we met up and talked. She assured me that she will not start a relationship with my Boyfriend at all and they will just be friends. I went back and talked to my Boyfriend the next Morning about me meeting up with the other girl. He lashed out and stomped out of his place, he was rude and harsh on me. And he decided to break up with me by saying that we are done. I apologised to him, I told him I could do anything to make up to him, but he just keep telling me that things will not work out anymore. I let him cool off for the night, but I didn’t leave him, I went to sleep early. Before he turned in that night, he tapped me and apologised for being too rude and harsh on me, we hugged and continue sleeping. The next day, i decided to go for a party with my girlfriends, and he went for a dinner with the other girl (cause after talking to me, she finds that she should listen to his perspective too, since they are friends). I came back and he seems pretty normal, he waited for me to come home, get me drinks and chat about my night for awhile and we go to bed. The next morning, I woke up and asked him if he’s still planning to keep a distance from me, and he replied yes. He really doesn’t wanna be with me anymore. I asked him if he wants me to leave so badly, and he answered yes. So I left. I’m sorry for the Long post, I really experiencing uncommon situation, what can I do now?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Gwen,

      start no contact and then focus in healing yourself.. do it independently.. If he really loves you, he shouldn’t have done everything that he has done. Stop chasing. It’s time to put yourself first now..

  31. dalane - 0


    the first step… In the no contact rule you said no contacting him and if he contacts you to not respond. how long do we stay away?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Dalane,
      it depends on your situation.. no contact rule is not recommended for all

  32. Hailey Rogers - 0

    Hailey Rogers

    Me and my boyfriend have been friends for about 3-4 years, and we’ve been dating about 2 years (we broke up a while back for a few months, but that was because we both decided to get back together later on when we had more time for each other((we went to different schools, we got back together when he started going to my same school)), so it was fine and mutual.)We got together, and from then on we’d been together for about a year and 4 months. A bit of background here: At the start of our relationship he was a bit immature and I was insecure, and he’d talk about other girls attractiveness sometimes and he told me straight up that sometimes he thought of sleeping with other people (oh, but MOST of the time he only thought of me, he said!) anyways, i held a grudge about it even after the point where deep down i knew he wasn’t like that anymore; it caused me to get angry and spiteful easily about the littlest things (mostly out of jealousy) and i always knew it was wrong but i couldn’t help it. It was a strain, but we were still remotely happy and loved each other very much. We had a lot of good times and always enjoyed being around each other, over the summer (2016) we had very little arguments, it was great! but then, school started for both of us and he got very stressed and i got very depressed, which caused me to start lashing out out of jealousy more than probably ever before in our relationship. With him being this stressed out, he just couldn’t take it. He stopped texting me (even though i knew he was texting with other people, so i know he wasn’t too busy) And eventually he texted me and said (in short) Hailey, I can’t do this anymore. We need a break. We’ll talk again when we’re both steady with ourselves (sept. 9) He said we should try again in October (when his sports are over). Well, later that night i texted him and he accused me of being some fake girl account that was messaging him (which he had already been talking to for a few days; behind my back, mind you. He had only recently thought it was me) we had an argument over the fact he was talking to other people behind my back, and at that point he was fed up and said all it is is bullsh*t, and that he’s done for good unless he changes his mind. I started telling him i had real reasons to be upset and not to be like that, but he was like that anyways. The next day I came to school (we’re seniors in highschool, if you could treat this like an actual relationship and not a high school fling that’d be great :-)) he acted like nothing happened… he acted like my boyfriend. I said to him, “i’m confused” he said me too. The next day he actually for real ended it. He said he didn’t know if it was goodbye for good, but it’s goodbye for now (and a bunch of other painful details.) I said okay. I was very torn up, i still am, and it’s been 3 weeks. One of my friends spoke to him, and he ended up telling her that he thinks he wants a year to himself, that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever want me back, that if i’m so concerned about it to just move on. This boy was very heavily in love with me just a bit over a month ago, and now he acts like he seriously never knew me. He’s been going to parties and getting drunk (out of character) and he honestly acts like I never existed in his life. He doesn’t try to talk to me at school at all and if i were to text him he ignores me. He said to my friend that even though he cares for me and “loves” me (whatever that means) he’s not interested in talking to me for a pretty long time… I’m afraid he’ll move on (if he hasn’t already) and find someone else. Aside from our arguments (even though they were pretty hasty, really never lasted longer than about an hour) we had a very good relationship prior to school starting… how can he just swipe me off his shoulder like that? Is he just really really good at hiding his feelings? Does he not love me anymore, just like that? I’ve been trying to do the same, not talk to him and try to not be around him too much, pretty much act like he’s acting but it’s a lot harder for me. He’s a pretty closed book, hard to figure out… so i don’t know what to think. I was hoping an actual expert could give me some advice because I feel like i’m the only one hurting and that can’t be normal. In these 3 weeks we’ve been apart i’ve seriously started to realize i was wrong to get so angry so often, and I’m so much less insecure because him leaving really put things in perspective to me. As a person, i’m a lot happier with myself… but i miss him so much and it hurts that he doesn’t even seem to think about me at all.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Hailey,
      If he really just got angry because you kept lashing out on him, then just let him cool off.. yeah, you probably had the right reasons to be angry because he kept texting other people but it looks like he got tired of it.. not saying it was all your fault but the situation could have been handled better.. I think him partying is his way of coping with the break up.. but try to increase your chances by doing the no contact rule.. Improve yourself and go out more with friends

    • Hailey Rogers - 0

      Hailey Rogers

      well ive been doing the no contact rule for about 22 days now… hes still cold and distant toward me. what about that? do you think hes just trying to cover up his feelings? theres no way he could be over me this quickly

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      How did you know he is still cold and distant during no contact? Is it because he’s not initiating? Have you been improving yourself? If he sees you personally and talks to you, would he think you have changed? Would he be comfortable to talk to you again?

    • Hailey Rogers - 0

      Hailey Rogers

      Last friday I went to him and asked him when he would stop acting like i dont exist, he was cold and distant and wouldnt make eye contact with me. he said “i thought we broke up for a reason” and then, he said as he walked away “In time i will”

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      oh, that means you broke no contact rule.. That means you have to restart the count and do it properly.. No more chasing, no more asking and checking. Just focus in improving yourself.

  33. Sunshine1234 - 0


    Hi EXboyfriendRecovery! Thanks for everything you guys have done.

    I successfully did 30 days NC, and I was invited to his birthday party. Everything was going so well, he even kissed me, introduced me to his family again, made plans and we had a great night. But at the end of the night I ended having too many drinks and started bringing up the breakup, which he initiated. He wanted to stay friends but I told him that his friendship is not good enough for me, that I know what I want and what kind of love I deserve. I proceeded to tell him that was the last night he would ever see or hear from me again. Then in my angry rage I deleted him off of all my social media accounts.

    I eventually sobered up and realized that was exactly the opposite of what I really wanted to do. I sent him an apology text but it’s been almost a week and haven’t heard back. My friend also saw him on online dating websites quickly after our spat. I am not sure what to do anymore. We are both looking for the same thing in a partner, but I am not sure what I should do next. Thank you!

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sunshine1234,

      I think you need to redo no contact and start the count for 21 days after reading this.. You have to establish that you have accepted his decision and you’re starting to move on. So, that means being busy with activities and dating others too. Whether by group or romantic dates. Just don’t be too forward with your posts. Don’t post anything like kissing

  34. AMO - 0


    Please HELP! my bf of almost a year who I see each week and exchanged texts each day- broke it off just 4 days ago saying he was thinking about breaking up for the last few weeks but couldn’t do it before because we have such a good time and when he sees me he couldn’t break it off, but, this time he did. Since he doesn’t feel the same way. I just ordered the book and have no problem doing the NC rule but I feel like if I don’t remind him I’m here he may meet someone else or be physical with someone else throughout that time and that makes me sick to my stomach, please advise how to handle this , thanks so much!

  35. Megan - 0


    Hey, I am 22 years old and my ex is 24, we broke up 2 month ago. We were together for 2 and a half years and they were amazing at least 2 years and 4 months, after that I felt a little insecure that he doesnt need our relationship as much as I do, we started having little fights. He went by the seaside and got really drunk one night ofter one of our fights and kissed a girl. He told me immediately and said it was better to break up because it wasnt fair to me. He said she wasnt the cause of the break up he just thinks that I see our relationship moving faster than he does and that is not true. I begged.. once and he told me that if its going to be easier for me he would tell me he doesnt love me and then he said but thats not true I love you but I just dont want such a serious relationship and he cried a lot he hugges me and kissed me and said this was breaking his heart…I did the NC rule for one month, he didnt try to contact me, I wrote a message reminding him of a beautiful memory and he said he has though about that too.. I stopped the conversation during an interesting part, and he didnt text me after that. A few days later I texted him again and we started a very friendly conversation, in the end I asked him if he wants to hang out and have a drink some time, he told me no, because it was to early for him he was not ready he wanted to move on first before going back… after that he continued the conversation and then stopped, an hour later he wrote me to say he was sorry he stopped writing but he felt sad because of me, him, us and wished me goodnight. I didnt say anything.. its beed 10days and a few days ago his best friend with whom I had a friendly relationship and had given him advice on some stuff but hadnt gone out with for a year, contacted me and wanted to see me, we saw each other he said he was sorry and he was here to tell me anything I want to know.. he told me how my ex reacted angrily at some of my pictures and was wondering if I had moved on when I was tagged by a male friend.. that gabe me hope and his best friend asked him whats going on and he said that “he is not interested in having a relationship right now” and that “only I know whats going on in my head” … but during the NC rule a fake profile which I recently understood was fake wrote me a lot and asked me about my ex.. I’ve had this fake profile from 2010 but he started writing me after me and my ex started dating and every conversation was mainly about our relationship, he admitted to being fake but doesnt want to show me his real profile.. my friends think its my ex.. and they think that his best friend was sent from my ex… but at the same time he is telling me he has no desire to come back.. please give me some advice
    Thank you sincerely,

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Megan,
      looks like you went too fast.. How long were you texting before you asked him out?

    • Megan - 0


      It was in the middle of the conversation… after he told me it was toi soon for him because the last time we saw each other it broke his heart.. I said okay.. and he continued the conversation .. I saw him today. I was with a friend and she saw him and said hey to him and his friends and we just stared at each other with a little awkward smile.. it broke my heart.. His best friend that reached out to me said he was going to talk to him..

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