Warning Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Wants YOU Back

This may be shocking to hear, especially after your ex treated you so poorly after your breakup, but he may secretly want you back. One of the most asked questions I get on this site, aside from “how do I get my ex back” is “how do I know that my ex boyfriend actually wants me back?” In this article I am going to take an in-depth look at the male psyche and try to give you a resource that you can refer to if you want to know if he wants you back. No, this is not an exact science but I have found that time and time again an ex who is really missing his girl exhibits the signs laid out on this page.

Side Note: If you are an avid reader of my site you may be thinking that this article is similar to the signs your ex still loves you. While I will admit that this article has a similar preface it is taking a much different approach and it is my goal to make this as informative as possible.

The Rundown Of This Page

Did you know that an ex will exhibit certain signs when he begins to want you back? This page is going to explore those signs essentially giving you a checklist to watch out for. Now, I am not going to pretend to know everything (because I don’t.) There may be signs that I left out of this page that he could exhibit and there may be signs on this page that he could exhibit (but still doesn’t want you back.) However, what I will tell you is that I have a lot of experience dealing with these situations so the signs that you see listed below will most likely mean your ex is seriously regretting his decision to not be with you. I will be covering things like

  • Understanding the male mind after a breakup.
  • The importance of anger and how to understand it.
  • And how the no contact rule fits into all of this.

Lets talk a little about what this page will not cover now. I know that I am known as the “breakup guy.” I am proud to announce that I have helped multiple women get back with their exes. However, this page doesn’t really talk about that too much. It is assumed that you want your ex back but all this page is designed to do is help you understand if HE wants YOU back. Now, if your are past that and just want to know exactly what to do to get him back then I would like to direct you to Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my E-Book. In there you can learn the exact steps you need to implement in order to get an ex back. I will leave a link below for you to click on but for now lets just dive right in to the warning signs ;).

Click Here For Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

The Male Mind After A Breakup

male mind

I thought a great way to kick off this particular article was with a look at the male mind after a breakup. As many of you know I am a male so I can give a very unique perspective on how to get your ex back by getting inside the mind of your guy. Contrary to popular belief men do actually have feelings. Now, I would say that 95% of the people reading this are women. At your core you are very emotional creatures. You aren’t afraid to cry when you need to cry or feel when you need to feel. I have learned that women are very in touch with their emotions.

Funny story actually, I remember having a friend in high school (she was a girl) that was literally all over the place emotionally. She wouldn’t be afraid to cry in class or do any other overemotional things. The funny part was how fast she would bounce back after these emotional outbursts. You would see her an hour later and she would be carrying on like nothing happened. It always struck me as bizarre but as I thought more and more about it I began to realize that women are much better at handling their emotions than men are.

Sure, a guy can cry after a breakup but what I am talking about here goes much deeper than that. Men shun true emotions after a breakup. I can remember my own breakup and how I handled it. I had been dating this girl for almost a year and at the end it was really… rocky. I remember after we broke up I felt completely free. It felt like weights had been lifted off of my shoulders. I remember thinking “this isn’t so bad.” Of course, a few days later I began to realize just how bad a breakup can be as the emotions hit me. I didn’t know what to do with them. I had never felt the type of things I was experiencing. (It was my first breakup ever.)

Every guy has a different way of handling a breakup. Me, I became a recluse for a while and decided to focus on myself. Other guys will create a defense mechanism that prevents any girl in the future from every penetrating it (George Clooney.) Of course, there is also the rebound guy that starts getting into new relationships immediately after your breakup.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • Women know how to deal with emotions, men do not.
  • It can sometimes take a few days for the “emotions” to kick in for a guy after a breakup.
  • Every guy has a unique way of handling a breakup (defense mechanism, recluse, rebound.)

Anger Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

angry meme

Now we are diving into the meat of this article! There is a common misconception going around that I would like to take a moment to dispel.

Common Misconception- If your ex is angry it means he doesn’t want you back.

NOT TRUE!

In fact, I would be more worried if your ex wasn’t angry with you in some way shape or form. Also, you have to keep in mind that sometimes your ex could be doing a phenomenal job at hiding his anger so I will admit that it isn’t always easy to tell if your boyfriend is angry at you. Anyways, back to the point here. Hate isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is.

You see, any time he displays any form of anger aimed towards you (yelling, talking bad about you to his friends, talking bad about you to you) women take it personally. I can understand why they take it personally too, after all, no one likes to be called a bit$% or get yelled at in the street. Nevertheless, lets try to take a deeper look into what is going through the mind of a man who is doing these types of things.

I will not lie to you, I have gotten into a shouting match with a girlfriend before. I have yelled at the top of my lungs and said some really horrible stuff. While I am certainly ashamed of these things I think I have found a way to put these horrible memories to use, by helping you out.

Any time I have done anything like this I have been extremely “emotionally invested” with the person I was talking to. I cared about them on a very deep level and because of that deep level every action that they performed was magnified. I wasn’t yelling because deep down I hated the person or never wanted to be with them again. I yelled because I cared about them in some twisted way.

I know, I know it is really twisted but that is literally how a guys mind works. So, that is the first sign I would say that you should look for to determine if your ex wants you back.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • If your ex is angry with you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you back.
  • It can be tricky to tell if an ex is angry with you because some of them do a good job at hiding it.
  • Usually anger means your ex is emotionally invested in you.

How The No Contact Rule Can Work As A Warning Sign

no contact meme

If you are an avid reader of this website then you know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule. In fact, sometimes I feel like a broken record repeating the same advice over and over. No contact rule this, no contact rule that. It may shock you to learn that the NC rule can actually be used as a test to see if your ex wants you back.

Men in general like to think very highly of themselves. However, when you add in the fact that he has a girl wanting him his ego can get really inflated. One of my best friends described this phenomenon perfectly. He would tell me that he used to go to the gym to please girls. He wanted a “hot” body so that girls would fall over themselves just to have a chance to be with him. He says that he remembers going to the gym and being pretty arrogant because he had the “fitness model” body. Now, keep in mind at this point my friend didn’t have a girlfriend this was just how he saw himself.

Of course, a few years later when he was in a relationship with a girl his trips to the gym were completely different. He walked around thinking he was a king. He was “preselected” by women and it gave him an ego you wouldn’t believe. In his mind he could do no wrong. He didn’t even have to work out anymore. A man feels like an absolute god when he knows there is a girl that likes him.

Now, lets apply this knowledge to your ex. At this point, it doesn’t matter who broke up with who. You want him back and chances are he knows it. This fact alone will inflate his ego to an extraordinary level because in his mind he has you wrapped around his finger.

BUT

no contact baby memeWhen you add in the no contact rule suddenly the dynamic changes. He is expecting you to call him a million times during the breakup, do the emotional dance and even get on your knees and beg for him to come back to you. Only if you do a strict no contact rule he begins to wonder why you aren’t doing what you are supposed to do in begging for him back. Soon, he begins to worry that you have moved on so he reaches out to you, only you don’t respond.

Oh, now he is getting angry. In his mind he is this god who can have any woman he wants (because he had you) and you have the audacity to ignore his call? Anger on his part during the no contact rule is the next warning sign. I know it sounds crazy. How can an upset ex be a good thing? Again, it means he is emotionally invested in what you think and do.

There are a few things I would still like to point out though. The warning sign here is only shown if HE initiates contact during the no contact period. So, he has to call you/text you/facebook you/email you and then YOU have to ignore him. His reaction to you ignoring him is the sign for him wanting you back. The more upset he gets the more your value rises to him. I know that sounds weird, I mean, I am basically saying you want your ex to get upset. However, lets look at it on a logical level.

If he is this upset by your freeze out during the no contact rule we know that it means he is emotionally invested in you. It’s important that you don’t engage him because you want the dynamic to be that you are in control at all times. Him always having to work to get you will kind of turn him on a little bit because guys always want what they can’t have. Also, if he realizes that he is constantly chasing or having to work to get you your value will raise in his eyes. Instead of being the crazy ex girlfriend you will be the one that got away.

Pssstt… (Men always want the one that got away!)

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • In order for this warning sign to manifest you have to implement the no contact rule which you can learn more about here.
  • Men have big egos to start with but when they know they are “preselected” by girls their ego shoots through the roof.
  • If your ex boyfriend gets upset at you during the NC rule for not responding to him it means he is emotionally invested.
  • The more upset he gets during the NC period the more your value will rise to him.

Moving On A Little Quickly Now Aren’t We?

moving on meme

Men deal with breakups in all kinds of different ways. I actually alluded to this at the beginning of the article but I really didn’t go too far in-depth because I knew I was going to be talking about it here. Well, perhaps I should be a little more specific, I am going to be talking about one particular way that men deal with a breakup that is a surefire warning sign that he is not over you yet and may want you back in the future.

I hear a lot of stories every single day. As I am writing this article I am looking at my un-moderated comments. Shockingly, it is kind of low as there are only 33 I haven’t answered yet. Now, I can make you one guarantee about these 33 comments. When I do get to them later tonight there will be one or two that sound like this:

Chris, my ex and I dated for three years. We broke up a week ago but I wish I had found your site earlier because I have made so many mistakes that you say not to make. I called him too much and basically begged to get him back. I am afraid I scared him off because now he is dating this other girl….

Every single day I literally have a comment that looks like that. While I am absolutely thrilled to be getting these types of comments so early in this sites history I sometimes feel like some people don’t read what I am recommending and just decide to comment. But that is besides the point.

The point is that I chose this particular type of comment to discuss in this section because it is a potential warning sign that your ex boyfriend is not over you. As I said, every guy has a different way of dealing with a breakup. This particular type of guy immediately goes on the prowl looking for a woman to take away his pain.

Instead of doing the smart thing and letting a certain amount of time to go by, so he can heal, he tries to replace the hole in his heart with someone else, someone new. In the relationship industry we like to call this a “rebound relationship.” That is your sign. If he very quickly moves on after your relationship it is going to hurt you no doubt. However, you need to take a step back and look at things in a more “big picture” perspective. In most cases, rebound relationships don’t last. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the article I linked to above.

Key Takeaways From This Section

  • Men have different ways of dealing with breakups.
  • One of the most common ways is to go on the prowl for girls to fill the hole that you left in his heart.
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801 Responses to Warning Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Wants YOU Back
  1. Natasha
    March 23, 2015 | 8:14 am

    I was in a relationship for 4 years we were friends for 2years before then.We basically had a mutual breakup, the last year of our relationship we was arguing alot which ended up breaking us up.But he said he wanted to remain friends which deep down I knew it was a bad idea, he still wanted to be sexual which we were but then I felt it wasn’t enough for me I wanted more I wanted him back.But instead of him trying to give our relationship another try he says he still just want to be friends.I found myself to stop communicating with him as much, but recently he called and told me still loves me and that the kind of love he had for me just don’t go away, he claims he wants to see me soon but didn’t set any date.What signs should I look for when I do see him to let me know he wants to retry our relationship, or that he still just want to be friends. I really love him any suggestions

  2. Confused
    March 22, 2015 | 7:36 am

    I broke up with my ex before he went on a 5 day trip when he was back he contacted me and we talked. He said he didn’t miss me and was not sure if he wanted me back, now he calls me and asks me to hang out saying that we are still figuring things out and if I find someone that it’s ok he doesn’t want me to waste my time. He said he needs time to go back to relationship mode. I think this is BS but I’m not sure if I’m wrong. Can this be possible? Should I continue picking up his phone calls and hanging out with me? I want to be with him. Do you think he is afraid I find someone before he does? I’m not sure how much time he needs.

    • admin
      March 22, 2015 | 5:41 pm

      I don’t think so.

      I would just go into NC for maybe 21 days and then reapproach him.

      Though I think some jealousy tactics might work too.

  3. Kimberly
    March 18, 2015 | 7:33 am

    Hi im so confused me and my ex live together we are co workers i always wanted him after dating two months i moved in with four young kids we’re not together no more but we still live together I love him but don’t know what to do I went out with on a date with this guy and ever since then my ex has been really nice to me showing interest in me I really want him back I just know what you think does he want me back he went from I hate you I don’t want to be with you now he makes the point to call mewhen you going to lunch break to hang out with me but he offered to watch my kids so I can go out with the guy so I’m really confusedwhat do you think

  4. Maria
    March 14, 2015 | 12:32 pm

    So my ex and I were together for 17 months. He loved me more than I did. The last month we had a lot of fights and we werent happy so we broke up. He has now moved on with another girl. We talked 2-3 times after the break up and he told me that he still loves me and that he will never love a girl the same way he loved me and that this new girl has nothing to do with what i meant to him and that he is talking with her to fill in the gap I left when we broke up. He moved on just a week after we broke up. He is talking to my friends about me and he is saying that he is mad at me and that he didnt expect us to be enemies after the break up. He also said that he expects me to go talk to him so for us not to have a bad relationship now. We go to the same school and he is staring at me during break time even after he moved on. I didnt expect him to move on so easily and forget about me. And I dont know why he keeps talking about me and stuff. I really want us to get back together with him and I dont know if he does.

    • admin
      March 15, 2015 | 4:46 pm

      If he is staring at you at a lunch break then he clearly isn’t over you yet.

  5. Kelsey
    March 10, 2015 | 10:08 pm

    Today I met with my ex boyfriend, it was supposed to be a short meet up for me to give him something, and it turned into us talking for about 45 minutes. We had dated for about two years and he broke up with me. I apologized for the things I’d done wrong and talked to him about how I was trying to better myself. He told me my appology meant a lot to him and he was happy that im trying to better myself. I told him I missed him, and he said he missed me too. He brought up another girl, and I think he was trying to see my reaction about it. He also kept talking about what was going on in his life and asked about me. He told me that it was really nice for us talk talk, and that it felt good to talk to me. He also agreed that on a basic level when I’m not being crazy, he and I get along really well and complement each other’s personalities. It was really easy for us to talk, and we both expressed that we have no Bad feelings for each other. I think he just needs more time to heal, but the conversations didn’t feel forced. I was just wondering if that was a good sign? Or if you think he was just trying to be friendly to me.

    • admin
      March 13, 2015 | 7:03 pm

      I think its a good sign. Especially what you said about it not being forced.

  6. Angela
    March 9, 2015 | 5:44 pm

    Ok my situation is kind of a long story. I dated this guy for about 2 yrs almost 14 yrs ago. I was in my early 20’s, the relationship ended, but we both loved each other and did so much for each other it was almost like a marriage. Fast forward in time, he married a girl and a few years later they divorced. I became involved and eventually married my soon to be ex husband of 12 years. So with that being said, my ex has came in and out of my life in the form of bumping into each other and catching up, conversation only! But then disappearing. Well this has happened at least 4 times in the last 14 years, just recently in December he reached out to me thru Facebook and we started talking again, we now talk and text everyday are involved back physically and he made the joke when I divorce my husband will I be ready to marry him? He even tried finding me a divorce attorney… What do you think?? Oh and for some strange reason a couple years ago when we were talking on the phone he kept referring to my husband as my boyfriend, it was disrespectful and made me upset but I think it was because he was jealous.

    • admin
      March 13, 2015 | 4:12 pm

      Haha sounds like he really likes you to me!

  7. Nikita
    February 28, 2015 | 10:43 pm

    Grateful for your thoughts on this: I deleted my ex on Facebook because Iz could not stop myself from checking his profile everyday and obsessing. I was anxious it would be childish but my sanity was more important. A week prior to this, I had seen my date on what may have been a date! ( he saw me and the girl left soon after and he asked me if I wanted to meet up). Basically I want him back but I’m aware he is seeing other woman ( hence stalking his Facebook) but despite him getting in touch a few times before I deleted him, things were not moving forward and I feel that by protecting myself from seeing his profile I have actually ruined any future chance because he will not contact me now and it’s odd if I do?

  8. lyn
    February 20, 2015 | 8:10 am

    admin your replies are too short and half hearted

    • admin
      February 20, 2015 | 11:54 pm

      I know… That is why I created the podcast to prevent that problem.

      Sorry if they are short though.

  9. Brandy
    February 20, 2015 | 6:35 am

    Hi Chris thank you for writing this article. But I am still a little confused about my situation. My ex boyfriend and I dated for 5 months. I was his first real girl friend. What I mean by real is his first girlfriend and him just texted and never went out or anything and it lasted less then a month. And we were the complete opposite we did everything together you couldn’t separate us. He did everything he could to keep me happy and I did the same for him. We had our share of little fights. But I never thought anything about them we’d make up and say I love you and see each other the next day. So to cut to my confusion. Christmas he wanted me to meet all of his family ie cousins aunts uncles and his brother who he is super close to. And I wanted him to come over with my family but he couldn’t so despite that my family was upset I went with him to his house to meet his family and have dinner with them. Then two days later we worked the same shift at work and he was acting weird.he avoided me I asked him if there was something wrong and he said he would talk to me after work. Then he broke up with me. He said it’s cause of distance because he leaves for college in August. But that was 6 months away and we agreed that we’d try it so that didn’t make sense. He wouldn’t give me anything else he took me home kissed me hugged and I said good bye and he said I love you. He quit his job and told me he wanted me to move on and forget him. It’s been a while and he came into work the other day to visit but he made sure I wasn’t working. I don’t understand what happen it was perfect and now it’s gone and he avoids me. I want to fix this but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why he left. Sorry that this was really long and drawn out. Thank you for your time.

    • admin
      February 20, 2015 | 11:52 pm

      You should listen to the episode 4 of the podcast. Your situation sounds similar.

      • Nicole
        February 24, 2015 | 11:58 am

        What do I do if my ex contacted me 3 days after a breakup to give me my stuff back over some lunch ? Does this mean anything … ? I haven’t contacted him

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