By Chris Seiter

Updated on March 16th, 2021

Today we are going to be looking at five signs that your ex may still be in love with you.

I do want to say before I start diving in to this article that we are going to be operating under a certain assumption.

The assumption is that you have a working knowledge of my process and how it works.

Why is this so important?

Because often your ex will show you nothing but disdain unless you follow a proven game plan to “get things to calm down” so to speak.

There is one other cool thing that I’d like to mention before we start. This isn’t going to be like the average article you can find online. Instead, what I have done is taken my success stories and looked for specific signs that exes in those circumstances engaged in.

These are my findings.

5 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Based On Success Stories)

What do you think I mean by saying “success stories?”

Well, I’m actually referring to someone who got their ex back using our process and looking at what their ex did to show interest. I looked for commonalities across thousands of successes and I found five clear patterns.

  1. They Make An Effort To Keep The Conversation Going When It Starts To Die Out
  2. They Can’t Help But Touch You
  3. They Respond To Your Messages Promptly
  4. Proximity To You (Physically And Electronically)
  5. Willing To Try Things You Like

Let’s take a moment and dissect these five things so you have a full understanding of what to expect.

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Sign #1: They Make An Effort To Keep The Conversation Going When It Starts To Die Out

Conversations never have one clear trajectory.

Sometimes they’ll look like this,

While others can look like this,

The satisfaction level we have during conversations depend on a lot of different factors that I really don’t want to get into right now.

Here’s the one thing you have to remember.

Time is undefeated.

In other words, the longer the conversation is the more likely it is for the satisfaction level of the conversation to drop.

There is a point where you run out of things to talk about on the phone after three hours.

True story by the way!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Anyways, one of the most telling signs that someone is starting to fall in love with you is if they actively try to keep the conversation going when it is starting to wane.

When I met my wife and we weren’t officially an item I had many moments like this.

I couldn’t stand any kind of awkward silences so I’d just ask her a bunch of questions until I could get the conversation satisfaction up to a level that would keep her hooked in.

Sign #2: They Can’t Help But Touch You

In a strange way we are a slave to our bodies.

Perhaps that’s not a scientific way of looking at it. If you want to get technical we are all a slave to our brains.

Nevertheless, have you ever been with someone where you just naturally had this inclination to touch them.

And for the record I’m not trying to be dirty here,

I’m talking about innocent touching.

  • Hugs
  • Little touches on arms
  • Holding hands
  • You get the picture

I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to relationships.

I didn’t get my first girlfriend until I was 18 years old and believe me when I say it was like pulling teeth to finally get a girl to agree to go out with me.

I literally felt I was in the middle of one of those “will they, won’t they” arcs in a soap opera.

The turning point for me actually occurred when someone put a clothespin on me.

Apparently someone at my high school had started this interesting game where you’d have to hug someone who had a clothespin attached to them. The girl who would end up being my first girlfriend literally walked up to me and said,

“I think this would look good on you.”

And then hugged me.

Now, I had never been hugged before.

I mean, sure, my mom had hugged me but I had never been hugged by a girl who was potentially interested in me before. So, you can imagine the rollercoaster of emotions swirling inside of me,

I later learned that she was just looking for an excuse to hug me.

Here’s my point.

When your ex is “feeling it” they won’t be able to help themselves and will most likely find a way to touch you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Sign #3: They Respond To Your Messages Promptly

Let’s switch gears for a moment and focus on “text game.”

One of the things that I talk a lot about in my book is the fact that little things like response time matters.

When I met my wife for the first time we were already in a long distance situation.

She lived in Philadelphia and I lived in Texas.

I tell you this not to brag about how we made it work but to highlight how limited we were in the “getting to know each other phase.”

We probably would have been able to move much more quickly if we could have not waited two months to go on an actual date to see each other.

Anyways, we were basically limited to text messaging and phone calls.

One of the things that always struck me though was how I would literally make a conscious effort to vary my response times.

I’d literally think to myself,

I am going to wait 45 minutes to respond to this.

But the wait was agonizing and I’d fail every single time.

It got so bad that I’d ended up responding to her promptly every time she asked a question.

The craziest part is that I knew it wasn’t the right way to approach the situation.

I should have definitely stayed more disciplined but I’d continually fail, a slave to my emotions.

Sign #4: The Proximity To You (Physically And Electronically)

Scientists found something interesting when they looked at how people fall in love.

It’s something that I’ve seen a lot with my own personal success stories and through working with clients for six and a half years.

Generally speaking, the closer someone is to you the more likely they are to have feelings for you.

Now this applies in every sense of the word.

I’m talking about physical closeness, general closeness and even electronic closeness.

In case you need some visual aids,

If someone has feelings for you or is in love with you it is inevitable that they will find themselves in close proximity to you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Honestly there isn’t much more for me to unpack here so I’m just going to move on.

Sign #5: They Are Willing To Try Things You Like

I met my wife for the first time in Florida.

As stated above, she lived in Philadelphia and I lived in Texas and we agreed to meet in Florida.

I was beyond nervous.

I’m not even sure I have words to describe how my body shook on the plane to Florida.

I had one simple goal when I met her, make a good impression.

Looking back I’m sure that she had the same goal as well.

Now, I’m from Texas so it goes without saying that I’m not much of a salad eater.

In fact, I’d go as far as saying that I despise salads.

I’m definitely a meat eater.

I tell you this not to rock the boat but to give you some context so the story I’m about to tell makes sense.

Upon meeting for the first time my wife offered to cook food for me.

My first initial thought is of course,

Awesome, she is going to cook up some steak for me.

Only she didn’t cook steak.

She trotted this out,

Of course, I’m meeting this girl for the very first time in person so I can’t look disappointed or her feelings will be hurt.

I feigned happiness and “dug in.”

I’ve never gagged on anything in my life before. In fact, any time I’d see those hilarious memes of people gagging I just thought they had a weak stomach.

About midway through eating this salad my gag reflex kicked in and it took everything I had not to do this,

It was quite possibly the worst meal I’d ever had.

Of course, I’m in this really precarious position where I can’t ask for something more substantial because then It’ll be found out that I hated the salad.

So, I went to bed hungry that night.

Totally worth it though because I got a wife out of it.

Here’s my point.

When we love someone we tend to try things that are outside our comfort zone.

We do things we don’t want to do.

If you’ve noticed your ex doing this then that is probably a good sign.

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6 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Still Loves Me”

  1. Rosie

    August 1, 2020 at 4:36 pm

    Sign 1-he keeps the conversations going. I usually try to end them after an hour
    Sign 2-difficult because of the pandemic-any way around this?
    Sign 3-whenever I reach out first, he responds within 5 minutes and enthusiastically
    Sign 4- we live about 20 min away and talk often over text/phone/video
    Sign 5- we’ve had one meet up and was more than willing to change to my idea instead of his. He asked for a 4 hour bridge walk out of town, and I downgraded to ice cream in town for 1 hour. Additionally, he would do stuff for me he didn’t like all the time when we were dating

    I think he is consistently showing interest but I’m hoping he isn’t trying to rush a friendship. We were together 2 years and broke up 2 months ago. I had successful NC. Any ideas on what I should do next? If I implement the “friend zone him first” strategy, how should I do that? Or should I continue on for a medium date then large date as scheduled? Do I still have a chance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 3, 2020 at 9:15 pm

      Hi Rosie, you need to stick with the program an try not to cross that line for friendship yet. Medium date and then large date 100% the way to go if you are having good conversations and getting along well, attempt the flirting the push/pull theory that Chris speaks about

  2. Jessica

    November 17, 2018 at 5:46 am

    Hi Chris,

    I’ve reconnected with my first love more than a year. For him, I were first his girlfriend. At the beginning, we are just friend because he got marriage and having 2 boys. I’m still single. Recently, he told to me that he still loves me and has feelings for me. I let him visited my parents’s home (my dad is going to being ill) and my work place. We text everyday in the evening and morning before I go to work. I feel happy as before. Honestly, I still have feeling for him but I didn’t let him know. In my thought, he wants me while he has his family so I didn’t go out with him in private place. I don’t want to be a wrecker and I’ve decided to stop contact him any more. I demand him no contact me.

    For 2 weeks ago, we met and taking about our relationship. He asked me “Do you still love me?” I didn’t answer his question. If I answered, I would have forced him to leave his family, right? After 3 days, he sent me a massage said that he it’s so hard to forget me. Finally, I bocked him on phone and social media although I also feel it’s hard. I bocked him because I don’t want to get hurt and pain in him for me. Give me advice in my situation.

  3. Kay

    November 15, 2018 at 11:30 am

    Hi Chris, my ex texted me “You’re not my GF anymore, just some friends, I’ll keep that in mind” after I told him I felt uncomfortable with his jokes about my body. It’s 4 months post BU, 2 months in Texting phase. I changed the subject and sent something funny. But he didn’t read or respond yet.
    What should I do next?

  4. Nisha

    November 15, 2018 at 9:56 am

    So I broke up with my boyfriend of three months because I was meant to be moving country and he didn’t want to entertain the idea of making it work for the 2 years. He didn’t want to put his life on hold.Also I feel like at the same moment he lost trust in me because I passed a comment about a woman he was spending time with before all of this kicked off. Until this erupted everything was happy and fun! We got along nicely and we’d constantly be txting each other everything of everything (neither of us were really phone people). I admit I took him for granted a little. But when I ended it, I realised how much I loved this man. I was just in a difficult position in life, and it sounded like he wanted me to end it. Im the end I made my choice not to take the job out of the country. I tried to get him back, but work was just overwhelmingly busy for him and it meant that neither of us could get to the same place at the same time (I know this isn’t a good excuse).

    Messages were going back and forth and when I said if he didn’t want this it wasn’t the end of the world (of course for me it was!!), he said maybe its best to end on good terms (He was convinced i wanted to move; he kept asking). Then I admittedly got annoyed and nicely said some things about the way he handles things. Then when I told him I felt I was the only one fighting for ‘us’, he wanted to try. But he gave up too easily, which I again took it upon myself to highlight.

    After 2 months of being apart I reached out, he was texting me back but told me he no-longer knew what he wanted in life. He even met with me for a drink; during the course of which he kept highlighting his negative qualities. He kept asking why I wasn’t moving anymore, and I explained I realised what I wanted in life. Anyway, its been another 2 months (so now 4 months post breakup in total) and I still love him (call me crazy!). It was his birthday so I txt him. Given that neither of us have each other on social media he txt me back surprised that I remembered and thanked me. I haven’t text back, because I figured if he wanted a conversation he’d start one right? I don’t know where to go from here, do I start the conversation up by asking how things are going? or am I fighting what is ultimately a losing battle of one sided love?

  5. A

    November 15, 2018 at 6:27 am

    I reached out to my ex and found out he is in a relationship. I am thinking its a rebound because he told me to add him back on social media and agrees to hang out. During one of our hangouts i asked him if he loves her and his initial reaction was no, then he said yes. He also told me he still cares for me. After our last hangout he told me he wants to be faithful to her and he took me out of snapchat. Im doing no contact right now and its been a month. During this nc period i see hes following other girls on Instagram, but he’s in a “relationship”. should i reach out or give him space and wait for him to? Do you think i still have a chance? His actions and words are so confusing.