You’ve been through a breakup and you’ve found yourself here reading about getting your ex boyfriend back.

Now, maybe you are new here, in which case, welcome. Or maybe you’ve spent the past few hours tearing through our articles trying to find an easy way to get your ex back. Whichever it is, I am glad you are here.

By now you’ve probably determined that this is not an overnight process. There is no easy way to get your ex back. You are going to have to do some things that aren’t going to be easy.

One of those things is following through on the No Contact Rule. Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. You can’t contact your ex for a minimum of 21 days, maximum 45 days. It sounds easy, but most of you will only make it about 45 minutes before you are back on the site looking for exceptions to the rule.

There is a reason for this.

Yes, we have thousands of people that have used our methods and had astounding results. From where you’re sitting, I imagine it is hard to see the possibilities, especially when you can’t even begin to guess what your ex is thinking.

Now, I’m not saying you should spend all of your time trying to guess what your ex is thinking.

That’s not it at all.

I am saying that sometimes you need a little push to follow through on the harder parts of getting an ex back. One really good way to stay motivated is to remind yourself of the possibility that your ex could very well still have feelings for you.

Let’s go over some of the ways to tell if your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you.

The Pendulum Effect

One minute you’re done. It’s over. The next you find out he’s asking all of your friends if you are seeing someone.

Then he’s giving you the cold shoulder. Then he’s sending you late night texts about nothing.

It’s almost like he’s trying to play games with your head.

This type of behavior results from an internal struggle.

Think about it.

We all question our decisions, even if we are super confident in them at first.

If your ex is being hot and cold with you after a breakup, you can bet he is at least giving into his feelings for you sometimes.

You don’t just cut someone important out of your life and not miss them. You can see both the upside and the downside of splitting up. So, you end up going back and forth between wanting them back and standing your ground.

It’s like this.

Is that not clear enough? Here let me try again.

Imagine him just swinging back and forth. At first, he is okay with his decisions he may even have a little animosity toward you. Then he thinks about it and remembers the times he enjoyed spending with you. But, then he reasons with himself and goes back to being okay with his decision.

You will be tempted to interrupt the swings and force him to stay on the side where he misses you.

It doesn’t work that way.

The more you try to effect his position directly, the more likely he is to swing to the other extreme.

That’s why we focus on changing his position indirectly with No Contact.

But here’s the point, he still has feelings for you, he is just rationalizing past them.

His Time Investment Is High

Did you know that there are five motives for communicating with an ex?

Weird right?

  1. The friendship with the ex is strong and rewarding.
  2. They see their ex as a possible “backup”
  3. Their ex is part of a larger group of friends.
  4. They invested a lot of time and have been through a lot with the ex.
  5. They still have feelings for their ex.

We’re not talking about why you are keeping in touch with him. We’re talking about why he’s keeping in touch with you.

Staying in contact simply because you are a part of his circle of friends is almost always just a tactic to keep the peace. So, we can go ahead and write that one off as a sign that he has feelings. He’s just avoiding drama. Can’t blame him for that.

If the underlying friendship connection within the relationship was strong, we can assume that there are going to be at least some feelings there, but maybe not the overly strong ones you are hoping for. Although, I wouldn’t write that off. Because after the EBR process, your ex could easily transition from friendly feelings to “I miss her” feelings.

If he seems to be staying in touch to keep you as a backup, then it’s likely that he is lacking in some self esteem when it comes to dating other people. He may not have romantic feelings per say, but he still sees the possibility there. And that’s something.

If he invested a lot into the relationship in the first place and the two of you went through some trials together, then it is likely that the two of you formed a bond. It’s hard to break those.

Reestablishing those bonds takes some strategy. Luckily, we’ve laid out an actual strategy that we have proved works time and time again.

If this is your guy, stick with the program. He will be missing you in no time.

He Avoids Extending Conversations

A lot of the time having a conversations with your ex can be exciting. You are happy to talk about literally anything. But say your ex keeps cutting these conversations short.

What does it mean?

Well, the easiest explanation it that talking to an ex is not easy. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. But if you don’t care about her, why would talk to her at all. (See the list of motives above.)

So, if the interactions you have are pleasant and comfortable but he is STILL cutting them short. The simplest explanation is that he doesn’t want to ruin a good thing.

Stop while you’re ahead, or so they say.

He’s less likely to screw things up if he keeps it short. It’s as simple as that.

Drunk Texting

There is not one but two quotes that come to mind when I think of drunk texts.

“A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.” – Charlie Chaplin


“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts”

Alcohol has the ability to amplify whatever you are feeling at the moment. So, if you are particularly down, a girl’s night out drinking isn’t really the best idea.

Likewise, if you are getting drunk texts from your ex, then there are two possibilities. Either he is reflecting on your relationship and missing you or he’s hoping to hookup. Either way he is thinking about you when he is vulnerable. So that’s something to keep in mind… that you are on his mind.

He Goes On The Rebound But Can’t Seem To Stop Talking To You

We kind of touched on this earlier. If a guy is in a new relationship, but he can’t seem to cut you off. It is likely that he is unhappy or insecure in his new relationship.

The fact that he is keeping you around can be a good sign that he has feelings or you make him feel more comfortable.

You can learn more about that by watching this video.

 His Social Media Mirrors His Feelings

Let’s be honest, you’ve been on his Facebook. You’ve been keeping up with his posts, his snaps, and his vague Instagram posts.

And you’ve been trying to figure out if he’s trying to tell you something.

You find yourself looking for subtext in all of his posts.

It happens.



The post that is directed at someone without actually saying their name.

We’ve all seen the passive aggressive social media post. In fact, some of us may even be guilty of posting a song lyric or seven of our own.


It’s me.

I’m guilty.

When are you likely to do this?

When you are hurting and you just want someone to understand how you are feeling?

When something just resonates with you and you need to feel like someone is hearing you?

When you want your ex to know that you are missing them?

Basically when you are emotionally raw and feeling alone… THAT is when you start posting emotional and passive aggressive quotes and lyrics even if it’s not something you would normally do.


So, if you’re seeing a lot of emotional stuff coming from a guy who’s not normally very emotional. It’s safe to say he’s feeling the separation.

What Does It All Mean

Okay so let’s talk. By now you should have a pretty good idea of if he still has feelings for you.

But as you can imagine that only gives you a foot in the door.

That’s really all you need here.

It’s so easy to loose your footing in the ex recovery process when doubt arises.

And it’s is a double edged sword, knowing that your ex still has feelings for you.

You’ll want to quit if you are unsure how he feels toward you.

You’ll want to rush things if you find out he does.

So, I urge you to take this information and use it wisely.

It can help you succeed or stop you from even trying.

You get to choose which.

Obviously, I gave it to you to encourage you.

Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It

So, what do you do with this information?

Well, like I said before, I’m assuming you are at the beginning of your journey. Either you just started the process to get your ex back or you are about to. Whichever it is, you are likely already experiencing difficulties. So let’s talk about why it important that your ex has some residual feelings for you, why it functions as a foothold in the process.

The secret here is to keep your emotions in check. Don’t let his indecisiveness trick you into thinking he is playing games.

If you want him back, the one thing you have to to is start No Contact and stick with it.

You can read more about that here.

If you’ve gotten partially through No Contact and then didn’t have the follow through, you should read this article here.

So, what is it about No Contact that makes it so successful? No Contact does to your ex what alcohol does to emotions. It amplifies what’s already there. So, if your ex misses you and you do No Contact properly, you can fan his feelings for you into a flame and even in a a blazing fire.

How much do you know about fire?

I’m going to give you an analogy and in order for you to follow you need to know one things about fire. It needs oxygen. Without oxygen, a fire will die. If all of the windows in a house are closed and the fire starts to fade and you open a window slightly on the other side of the building, the flames will seek out that opening and increase exponentially. The smaller the fire becomes, the more it thirsts for air.

No Contact works this way. You are going to starve your ex of your attention. His affections, even if they are small, are like that small fire. By starving him of your attention, he will crave it so much that when the two of you get back in touch, he will be overwhelmed by his desire to have you.

I know. I know. That’s a pretty big analogy. But that’s how much I stand behind what we do here.

We even offer coaching that will help you with your particular situation.

And now that you know the tell-tale signs of if he has feelings still, you can make those feelings work for you rather than against you.

Let’s go over them one more time.

We have The Pendulum Effect, where your ex is being wishy-washy about how he feels. From the outside it looks like he’s playing games, but in reality he’s reasoning with himself about his feelings for you. Sometimes, reason will win, sometimes his heart will win.

Use No Contact to fan the flames. Use our experts to get through it and make it work for you. That’s what we’re here for.

21 thoughts on “6 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For You”

  1. Avatar


    April 15, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    After a five year relationship and up and downs my ex has been confusing me. One minute he loves me, the next he doesn’t. He calls me while he’s drunk and says he still misses me and loves me he said he wants to get back together but not right now. Right now we are not in contact I know he’s having a time with the break up cause he says he’s a mess and he’s hurting and he’s drinking a lot. What should I do? He doesn’t wanna get back together because he’s afraid I’m going to hurt him. Please help.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 15, 2019 at 2:23 pm

      Perhaps some quiet time away from each other will work for you both in order to reconnect

  2. Avatar


    April 4, 2019 at 2:29 am

    Hi my boyfriend of 12 years broke up with me because of his insecurities. He saw me in the grocery store one day and he ran into my ex and assumed we were tigether. We were not even by each iother. So it’s been 2 months and he won’t call me. He’s reached out a few times when his nephew passed away last month he text me and I went to the funeral with him. Will he reach out to me again. I miss him so bad. He got real sick last year and I took a loa to care for him because he did not wanna go to rehab and I nursed him back to health paid his rent for him ran all his errands for him and this is the thanks I get. I feel like he doesn’t care after everything I did for him .

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    March 13, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    My ex and I dated for a year sure we had a few fights over his ability not to take the next step commit to being bf/gf, which caused jealously his ability to follow ton of girls on Instagram and talk to them, found out he was pursing one asking her on a date which caused a huge riff trust and he was straight forward with his commitment issues we broke up then about month later i started to get drunk call and texts of him confessing pretty much what i lose out in the relationship he was ready to love, have kids, work on us, we planned a date he had to reschedule he assured me there will no doubts then he reached out we got together talk and hooked up but then two weeks later he told me let’s be friends I’m pretty sure he is seeing someone else at the moment I’m confused I felt like he was going to come back now what?

  4. Avatar


    February 28, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    My sister saw my ex of 5 months shopping with his ex (who physically assaulted me at my old work place over him when we were just friends) and I didn’t see it coming cause he truly made it seem like he cut her off after what she did to me. I sent him an angry text then blocked all numbers. He blew up my phone and stopped after 2 days of me ignoring him. Now he’s getting to the point he calls my work to ask for me. By accident I answered the call cause he told my coworker a different name and all he said was when can you pick up your stuff at my house? I just hung up the phone. I’m not ready to talk to him nor do I want my stuff back. Yet he still looks at my snaps everyday since the break up. Doesn’t follow me but actively searches me since I post more than usual now. What does this mean?

  5. Avatar


    February 23, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Hi I had a relationship with my guy past 1 year now he left me for some misunderstood now he’s saying that we can be friends what is meant and he said few days ago he’s committed but I’m pretty sure he’s lieing

  6. Avatar


    February 21, 2019 at 3:14 am

    Hi Chris, my boyfriend of three months broke up with me and today a week later I found out he is with someone new he has me blocked on his phone and I’m doing the no contact but how will I ever get a hold of him

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:16 am

      Hi Tina!

      Be patient with the NC..things usually unfold and blocking can turn into unblocking. I sure hope you are using my Program and all the resources that come with it as it will help you during the post break up period.

  7. Avatar


    February 20, 2019 at 11:39 am

    Well he did actually called me later that night to say that he finished working anf is home at his parents house. He asked me to come (I really hope it wasn’t booty call and his parents were home) but I said that I cant cause I’m with my girls watchin a movie and if I can call him when I get home if he doesn’t goes to sleep. He said to call him anyway cause he will hear phone even if he is asleep. But I didn’t it was near midnight and I didn’t felt like doing it. The next day I texted him that I came home pretty late and I didn’t want to disturb him. He didn’t responde anything.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 21, 2019 at 3:25 am

      Hi Maya!

      Do you have an ex recovery plan?

  8. Avatar


    February 18, 2019 at 1:58 am

    My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. He said I have trust issues cause alot of havoc and doesnt want to see me because he knows how we are that we will be holding each other in 5 mins and then the havoc will start. He returned my shirt and sweat pants but none of my hygenie products. Dropped them off while I was at work and never returned my key. ( never asked for it back). He is still friends with me on Facebook as well as his family and my family is still friends with him. I have messaged him asking him to help me with some issues with my house which he did come to fix twice while I was at work. This is my first relationship that I have ever had feelings for and I genuinely loved and cared about him. I’m confused if he will come back or is he dragging on this break up? I’m new to this and all of these feelings. I’m confused.

  9. Avatar


    February 17, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    Hi, I have been doing all the thing you have been talking about. I finished the nc, and texted him on 31st day and his respond was pozitive (just 2 messeges), I also texted him the next day and we had slightly longer conversation. Then I waited few days and texted him yesterday he also responded pretty quickly, I finished the conversation and today I continued it by text but then he called me saying that he is not in the mood for typing so we ended talking on the phone for like half an hour, someone came to him and he had to go but said than he will call me a bit later. What do you think sholud be my next move?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 11:02 pm

      HI Maya…I sure hope you are using my epic long flagship product “Pro” to guide you thru all this. So wait a couple of days to see if he reaches out and if not, then reset with some texting.

  10. Avatar

    Rosy Guite

    February 16, 2019 at 9:51 am

    I was in a relationship with a guy almost 3years..We fought a lot but we never broke up.And after so many years of being tortured by him That night he talked very disrespectful about my tribe people so I told him to break up he knew that his friend proposed me so he started feeling sorry and begged me to stay.I forgave him many times even he met others girls.Dont take me wrong guys it’s been really hard for me Then I started dating his childhood friend..Don’t take me as I’m a bad girl I was doing all this just to make him jealous and I ended up loving his friend (my second love)He supports me in my studies and he make me happy I was so deeply in love with him We promised each other not to break up.During our relationship his friend (my first love) tell him to break up with me..But still we continued I change my sim number and We’re so happy God I should’ve met him earlier I love him so much.One day he went home for a vacation and after 20,25 days he blocked me in every social media I miss him a lot I don’t why he just left me without saying anything Even his not happy I make sure his happy.But one day when I asked him why left me he told me he has think for his friend….He told me to move on and love someone else and introduce to him .He was one of kind no matter how much he hurt me I’ll Always love him

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 17, 2019 at 1:13 am

      Hi Rosy!

      He does not sound like a keeper. He will miss you…he should as you were the “catch”

  11. Avatar


    February 12, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Hi! Please edit my previous name to Cecilia. I typed my last name out of habit.

  12. Avatar


    February 12, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My boyfriend of three months broke up with me a week ago. After that, we were still texting and he was still indecisive about us. Then a few days ago on my birthday, he texted happy birthday and then said he wanted to do something for my birthday still. Then the next day, after me being a text gnat (unfortunately), he said that we should go our separate ways. After some back and forth, he told me to stop texting him. Later he texted “I just need some personal space”. I didn’t respond. The next day he texted “do you want to talk?”. I’ve been in no contact for 4 days now and it’s so hard. I see him at work. We don’t work on the same team but we are on the same floor. Today, he found my car in the parking garage at work and left the charger I had used at his place when I would stay over on my car. I want to text him so bad. I am planning on using the 21 day no contact period. Will no contact work? Do you think he is going to get over me?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 13, 2019 at 12:33 am

      Hi Cecilla!

      So i think you continue with NC just the way i teach it in my Program. 21 days seems like a good fit. You might want to take a look at my eBook, “No Contact Rule Book” as it will get into much greater detail about how this process works and your chances, etc!

  13. Avatar


    February 11, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    Hi Chris
    Thank you so much for your content it really helps alot
    With me taking the quizz it shows an average that I can get back my hearts desire. I have a question though does no contact means no contact even if we see each other when i am going to visit my kids and i do see him than? And yes i have implemented the nc rule for 2 weeks without weekends and this weekend he was just at home not going anywhere cause i slept over in the house. Is that a sign? yet again he makes it clear there wont be a chance and then he says there will be? like youve mentioned earlier the hot and cold shoulder….

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 11, 2019 at 11:36 pm

      Hi Lola!

      I am glad the content is helping you thru these hard times. I think in cases in which children visits are involved or discussions about finances and the like, exceptions should be made and the appropriate, relevant communication should take place.

  14. Avatar


    February 8, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Hi Chris! I really appreciate what u do, your articles and advices are so inspiring and helpful! My long distance bf broke up with me on the 8th of January after we celebrated new year together, he told that he can’t handle such relations anymore, he needs someone close, but told that he really loves me… After that he was texting me every day, i was reluctantly replying after 5-10 hours, then told him that i need space and he could text me only concerning the trip (we bought tickets for march), i was in no contact for 18 days and today he texted me asking how am i and telling that he won’t be able to join me there, i wasn’t replying, he took offense, after that i replied telling him how great i am, being really positive and keeping it short. He told that he was sick for 3 weeks, had a flu. Should i start no contact from the very beginning or keep talking to him?

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