Today we’re going to be talking about five real life signs that your breakup may be temporary.
And when I say real life signs, I’m talking about real life people that we have worked with throughout the ex boyfriend recovery program that have gotten their exes back.
These are some of the interesting signs that we noticed that they exhibited or had in their specific situations to basically help them get back with their exes.
And what’s interesting is that as we look at these five signs, some of them are impossible for you to have, and some of them are based purely on luck.
But these are what we have found to be true and can maybe be a signal that your breakup is a temporary circumstance.
The 5 Signs Are Based On Real Life Experiences
Well, before I actually start getting into the signs, the first thing that I do want to say, is that we took each one of these signs, we took inspiration from a success story in our private Facebook support group.
So, if you don’t know how that works, essentially we give people access when they purchase our program, our flagship program, the ex-boyfriend recovery program.
We give them access to this special private Facebook group where they get all sorts of little extra attention. They can integrate or communicate with other people going through breakups and similar situations to them.
I do Facebook Lives when my schedule permits, coach Anna does Facebook Lives when her schedule permits, and ultimately it’s all about helping individuals.
And what’s interesting is the more one on one attention people get, the better their results tend to be.
And we have a lot of really great success stories to draw from within the private Facebook group. And so, I thought it’d be a fun exercise to go through and look at some of the commonalities we are seeing in success stories. And what’s helping them basically get their ex back, and what are some of those signs that they need to look at.
So, let’s start with sign number one.
Sign #1: Sharing Children Or Working With Your Ex
Sign number one is something that we’ve noticed that gives people a certain amount of advantage, and that’s the fact that you share children with your ex.
And this is something that we’ve noticed and it does make sense if you think about it in a standard point of view.
If you share a child with your ex, then that means there’s something that will always connect the two of you basically forever.
So, we actually drew inspiration from one of our success stories in the private Facebook group.
And here’s exactly what she had to say.
“Hi everyone. I wanted to give you some hope as well as a warning. Here’s a brief yet still wordy summary. I originally joined ERP around August of 2017 and applied Chris’s teachings along with similar advice from other sources. I won’t divulge as I’m not going to market for someone else. I successfully got my ex back today. We’ve known each other for 23 years, and after a 10 month breakup involving another woman, he initially blamed me for the situation as I gotten fed up with the wishy washy BS, pushed him away and of course, he went running to her. So yes, it is possible to get your ex back in another woman’s scenario. It actually wasn’t that difficult.”
Now here is the relevant part that I want to highlight.
“I did the limited no contact as we share a 21 year old son and we work together. Boy did the other woman hate that.”
So that’s the relevant part.
Now, do we need to basically point at this person’s situation and to protect their identity?
I’m not going to tell you what her name is. But is it just the fact that her and her ex share this 21 year old son, that is the reason that she got him back?
Usually in my experience, there’s a confluence of factors that need to combine in order for you to successfully get an ex back.
But we cannot deny that the fact that she was working together with her ex, and also that she shared a 21 year old son together, connects the two of them and often gives them an instant reason to talk.
The other really interesting thing, is the fact that there’s another woman involved in this particular scenario.
The other woman being involved in the scenario often will get irked by the fact that, Oh my God, he has a child with someone else. And especially women place a little bit more emphasis on the fact that, you’re sharing children with someone else, that it can intimidate them a little bit and can cause them to implode for me.
So, here’s more that she had to say about her situation.
I won’t get too wordy because of course we need to move on and talk more, but here’s what she had to say.
“Now it completely works to my advantage. What also helped, well, after two months of me barely acknowledging his existence, when we did start occasionally eating lunch together, he claimed that he was completely honest with her about our long relationship and that she knew everything. This was a huge win for me because even if he told her one fourth of our history and truth, it was more than enough to scare the crap out of her.”
Remember what I said? This is like a huge win or maybe even a knowledge moment, for people who are trying to get an ex back and the ex has moved on to another woman. The other woman can be extremely intimidated and will 100% look up to see what you look like, and see what you’re posting on social media. And they almost take everything that you’re doing to the max, if that makes any sense. So, what we think here, is that there’s two factors that really helped this particular woman get her ex back. The fact that she shared this long history and had a 21 year old son with the ex, and the fact that they work together, this just caused the other woman to implode.
So, that’s the first sign that the breakup may be temporary. The circumstances of you maybe even working with your ex, or even sharing a child with your ex, can actually help you in a weird way.
Sign #2: Your Ex Admires You From Afar
Okay, let’s move on to the next sign that your ex or your breakup may be temporary. And that’s the fact that your ex will begin to admire you from afar. So, I’m going to be citing just a little snippet of a huge success story that one of our people had in the group, and then riffing a little bit off of that. So this person got her ex back, and she was giving a long write up of how she got her ex back. And she basically said, she failed no contact a bunch of times. She tried to go into no contact the second time and she thinks that there was a turning point for her.
And she says,
“During my second no contact, I did a number of things differently that I believed helped me make progress in the process, which ultimately led to my success. Number one, I really committed myself to therapy, did all of the homework my therapist assigned to me, spoke with her in depth at least once a week. And number two, and this is the one I want to highlight, I aggressively pursued new job opportunities and freelance clients, which better aligned me with two of his top core values. Ambition and creativity.”
So, why am I highlighting this?
Well, there’s a number of reasons.
But the first reason ultimately I think is, one of the big ways that we try to approach every breakup situation is we try to… As we try to help women stop putting men on pedestals. Because one of the worst things that you can do after breakup is give your ex this god’s status, where you’re literally like looking at him and romanticizing the past and everything like that.
When ultimately the whole goal is to literally get them to admire you from afar. Where you’re in the middle of a no contact rule, you’re doing things that make them a little jealous, or make them wish that they were with you. And that seems to be what this woman did to actually help create that confluence of events that will help her get her ex back. So she obviously said she committed herself to therapy.
That’s great. But what’s interesting is she actually pursued new job opportunities and freelance clients, which better aligned her with two of his top core values. So, he really values ambition and creativity, and so that she did things that hit home on those points, so that he’s looking from afar and saying, wow, I had her pegged wrong. She’s a lot more ambitious and creative than I would have ever imagined.
And so what I think is important to take, the important lesson to take from this is, is when you look at your ex, what are the values that he is attracted to? And when you’re in the middle of a no contact rule, and you’re doing social media game and different things after the breakup, you need to be doing things that will make him admire and regret his decision. And it seems like this woman did just that.
Let’s switch gears and talk about the third reason that your breakup may be temporary.
Sign #3: Your Ex Gets Riled Up By A No Contact Rule
So this is like the third sign, and that’s the fact that your ex will get riled up by a no contact rule. Okay, so there’s a lot going on here, but I’m going to actually draw inspiration from a very, very long write up one of our Facebook members did in our private Facebook group, where she talks about her success story.
And so what’s interesting is I’m going to take very specific snippets from her success story.
But if you want to read the whole snippet of the success story, I actually highly recommend you actually come to our website, and actually find this particular podcast on our podcast page.
And read this show notes where I actually literally word for word show you what these success stories look like, and I screenshot them and everything like that. So, here is what she had to say about the no contact rule.
“No contact is literally, she says that in all caps, the only part of the program that I followed because it’s the first step, and it’s slowly drove my ex crazy and he’s stubborn as F. I joined CrossFit and began working out. I went out, made new friends, through work colleagues had decided to go on more spontaneous trips, bought a new car, wrote and released a new book, started cool new projects, et cetera. Life was good
The point of this long recap is that complete your no contact. But not because you are waiting around for him to take you back into his life. But you can create your own life and be your own happiness. Please prioritize your mental health over any boy who doesn’t even know what he wants. You will thank yourself in a few weeks. You never know what amazing people and things that you open yourself to. And maybe you’ll realize you didn’t need him back as much as you think you did.”
So, what’s important here?
Well, there’s two main points that I want you to take from this write up. And obviously, I just basically gave you the cliff notes version of the actual real writeup. But here’s the two new points.
Number one is, she did the no contact rule and by her own words, it slowly drove her ex crazy.
He’s reaching out to her. She’s doing everything right too, notice how she went out more. She began working out more. She made new friends. She decided to go on spontaneous trips. She bought a new car, released a new book.
That even ties into the second thing, doing things that make an ex admire you from afar. Because they can’t directly talk to you, because of the no contact rule. But the other thing she really reiterates at the end here, is that the no contact rule isn’t meant to help make your ex miss you totally.
That is one of the symptoms of doing a no contact rule, but ultimately what you’re trying to use the no contact rule, is so that you can create your own life, and be your own happiness, and prioritize your mental health. And ultimately, I always view the no contact rule is only successful if you’re doing those things.
Because so often we get clients that come in, they hear about the no contact rule, they’re like, Oh, sold, I’m doing it. They do it, but they miss the entire point. The entire point is to take the focus off of your ex and put it on to you, which is way more important in the end.
So, the third sign we’re looking up here, is your ex getting super riled up by the no contact rule. But I’ll even caveat there and say, it’s also important that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing during the no contact rule, and that’s putting the focus on you.
Okay, let’s move on to sign number four. And without a doubt this is the sign I hate the most. So, what is the sign that your breakup is temporary, that I personally hate the most?
Sign #4: Timing And Luck
There’s no doubt that timing plays a gigantic factor in an ex wanting to take you back. Think of it like this. There’s two points of time that are essentially awful to try to get your ex back in. The first point is immediately after they break up with you, because the decision at that point for them seems final and they just want to move on, and you pestering them isn’t going to help.
And the second point of time that’s basically awful to try to get an ex back in, is like 10 years down the road after they’ve lost all feelings for you. So, ultimately there’s an element of timing that you always have to look at. And also there’s an element of luck.
And I hate admitting this, but it’s something that I think I’ll be doing you a dis-service if I don’t admit in the fact that, luck is without a doubt one of the things that you will need to be successful here.
Because sometimes you’re just lucky in the fact that the timing is right. And I actually want to a cite from success story where I actually view that as being the case. So, she has a long, huge writeup here, but there’s ultimately just one paragraph that I want to take care and dissect.
“We ended up meeting the next day. He told me he wanted to move forward, said he was thinking of me, and I had messaged him at the perfect time. And it was almost like all the stars aligned. We’re officially back together. Our parents both know and we’re both happy.”
So what’s interesting is by this ex’s own admission, she had messaged him at the perfect time and the stars had perfectly aligned. And honestly it can be difficult. Because if you actually look through more of her writeup, she even says something like she did the 45 day no contact rule, but he did not reach out to her once.
Then the 45 days turned into 137 days where there was no contact in between. You can’t look at a situation like that, and you can’t really advise anyone in a situation like that, without sometimes luck being involved and the timing being right.
So, if you’ve ever been wondering if timing matters, it absolutely does. In fact, this is why we actually believe the no contact rule is one of the most effective ways of getting an ex back, if that’s the route you want to go. And that’s because it helps the timing a little bit.
And sometimes the timing, a 30 day rule, or 21 day rule, or 45 day rule, like in this person’s success story isn’t even enough.
Sometimes it takes 137 days for the timing to be right. But that’s why I think it’s really important for you to always switch your mentality from the short game to the long game. Because if you’re playing and looking at this like a marathon, you don’t get so upset when things don’t go your way. And you are almost guaranteed to have things not go your way at some point throughout this process.
And that’s a normal part. Just to understand that sometimes the timing needs to be right, and sometimes you need to just be lucky, and sometimes luck is one of the best things you can have.
But I’ll tell you what, people tend to get luckier the more they follow our program. So, I think there’s a correlation between being a little bit lucky and also following our program, just saying.
Let’s move on to the fifth and final reason or sign that your ex or your breakup with your ex may be temporary.
Sign #5: Your Exes Response Time In Text Messages
The fifth and final sign that a breakup with an ex may be temporary, is you look at their response time to your text messages.
This is an underrated factor and it’s something that I do talk about in some of my reading materials, and program, and everything like that. But I don’t give it the attention it deserves that
I’m about to give it right here.
So, if you actually go to our website, ex boyfriend recovery, find the show notes of this particular episode on our podcast page, you’ll notice that I’m actually attaching an image of a question that was posed in our private Facebook group. And this is a just a woman who’s having a really, really tough time. She’s wanting at least something, some type of hope to hold onto. So, she’s basically asking,
“Has anyone had any success stories with an ex if they didn’t reach out at all during the no contact rule? I’m going into my second week and I feel like I won’t hear anything because my ex is really stubborn.”
And so after some time she got a response from one of our members who actually successfully got her ex back. And she said,
“Actually, yeah, mine did not reach out at all. And then he answered right away when I reached out to him first. Also, I did a few more no contacts where he would reach out later on. And now, two years later, he has come back around full swing and wants to be with me. Trust the process.”
So what’s the important thing to remember here? Well, if you’ve listened to any of my recent YouTube videos, you’ve listened to any of my recent Facebook Lives in the Facebook group, or you’ve listened or read any of my podcast episodes or articles, you’ll know that I’m a big fan of this phrase. “It doesn’t matter who reaches out first. What matters is who ends the conversation first.” And I think that’s what we’re seeing here. A lot of people obsess the fact that, “Hey, my ex isn’t reaching out during the no contact rule. Does that mean the no contact rule is failing?” No, not necessarily.
What matters more is the fact that, when you do have a conversation with your ex, he’s responding quickly, he’s responding in an engaged way, and you’re ending the conversations first. Think of those as like the Holy Trinity to texting. So, you’re looking for, engaged responses, quick responses, and a way for you to exit the conversation after you’ve noticed that the conversation has become enjoyable for him. And what happens is, if you can juggle these three trinity type factors, you’ll notice that the snowball effect occurs, where all of a sudden he’ll start reaching out to you first.
You always have to earn that right, I noticed after breakups. But ultimately the thing that we’re looking for here is quick responses. Notice how this person who got her ex back said, “Yeah, mine did not reach out at all. And then he answered right away when I reached out to him.” So, some exes, especially during a no contact rule, will literally sit on the sidelines waiting for you to reach out first. But they’re so stubborn, they say to themselves, I am not going to reach out to her first. She’s going to have to break down to me first. And that happens way more… That’s happening in success stories. So just understand that’s normal part of breakup behavior. And as long as you understand it’s normal, you can almost use it to your advantage.