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1,519 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

  1. Girl in love

    October 3, 2019 at 9:12 am

    What if he doesn’t want to give my stuff back?
    Is there hope? Do they do it regularly after break ups? Well, logically if he wants me to get out of his life: here is your stuff move on, girl..
    There is a lot of clothes cosmetics lingerie
    It’s creepy if he dates someone and those things are still there.
    A month and a half passed since the break up now

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 3, 2019 at 10:04 pm

      Hi Girl, sometimes its about what you NEED over what you have left behind. The things that you mentioned above can be replaced easily. But if he is holding onto them then he may be waiting until he is ready to face you to return them. Have you completed a NC? If so make sure your texts are interesting to him to get him wanting to reply

  2. A

    September 29, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    Hi guys, I’m not sure if I’m posting under the correct topic but I’d like some advice on my current situation. My ex and I were together for 4 years and we have been broken up since February and I did go into NC straight away, I decided because it was our 3rd breakup that I wouldnt actively start getting him back and instead, work on my self and improve my life, kinda like moving on without moving on in a way to see if I still wanted to be with him later down the line, fast forward 7 months, with absolutely no contact, my ex sends me a friend request on Facebook. I was so overwhelmed by it and eventually I did accept it. I don’t know if I done the right thing.. why would he send it now? I’m not interested in a friendship because I feel he dosent even know how much pain he caused. I will mention, after our breakup I did unfriend and unfollow on social media but somehow he still views my snap stories over the past few months as that’s one place I never took him off. His birthday is coming up soon and I’m unsure if I should reach out and wish him happy birthday as I’m afraid it might spark a conversation that I feel I might not be emotionally ready for. What advice can you give? Why would he send a request after this long? I’ve been trying to not read too much into it but it caught me off guard after so long without anything, I don’t want to get any hopes up incase he has no plans on getting back together or at least seeing where things are between us. I want to continue improving myself. Is this his way of keeping me around? Or is it just purely innocent? What do you suggest my next move would be or do I keep silent until he initiates contact, if at all?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 29, 2019 at 8:56 pm

      Hi A, so if you don’t want the emotional conversation with him then I do suggest not reaching out to him any time soon. The fact he added you randomly after some time may have been you were on his mind and he chose to see what was going on with you. Even his attempt to start contact again. IF you want him back then I do suggest doing something about it soon as we do say maximum No Contact needs to be close to 45 days. And this may be your way to start the texting phase and build rapport between you both.

  3. Oscar

    May 23, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    Hi Chris, first of all thank you for the amazing help you are providing for all of us, i have a quick question, hope you can help me out, i broke up with my ex 5 months ago (she dumped me), she entered a rebound 2 months after, two days ago she contacted me via FB asking for some pictures, i said sure, since it’s like 15gb of files i told her that i could leave a usb with the receptionist at work, she insisted to see me in person, i honestly miss her, it was almost 3 years together, but deep down i know i don’t want to get back together, since the brake up i started a business, started meditating daily and hitting the gym on a consistent basis, im happy for myself of what im accomplishing, what would you do in my situation? best regards 🙂

  4. Kira

    January 15, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    I fall for the reverse physiology he do to me , i end up crying . I feel like I ruined it . How can i fix it?

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 15, 2019 at 11:09 pm

      Hi Kira…important to focus on your own healing and recovery first, while also coming up with your ex recovery plan. That is what I try to teach people!

  5. Jimae

    November 16, 2018 at 6:08 am

    Hi Chris,
    My ex and I broke up 2weeks now. The first week I never heard form him. I called 200x and text more than that too but never replied. One week after the break up he visited Philippines again from hongkong for work. He met me on Wednesday, we talked but said I am not man you are looking for and we had a very horrible fight how can we reconcile that? Make story short I couldn’t convince him to get back together. We didn’t met Thursday. But invited me for dinner and movies on Friday. So we had some sort date and then I ended the night begging him. He refused for giving me another one more chance. He also said thanks for everything etc. And said we need space. I never stop messaging him. And then one day I stop. The next night he sent me message like “miss my rabbit(our pet name). Hope you’re well”. I didn’t reply that nite. But I couldn’t resist replying. So the next morning I replied with “you know I always miss you more”. And then he just read on my message for almost two days. In short I make efforts again. I said I miss him can you call me. He called me. Said how is he. He said “stress at work. Home. You”. Why me? Bc I’m still bothering you? He replied with “bc I miss you you know that” he even said it’s okay if I didn’t guve him the soace he asked from me. And even told me talk soon. He still want hearing my voice. It was last nite. And he didn’t text me after thay call last nite and even today haven’t heard from him. Do you think He just wanted to be friendly? I am planning to start my NC today. You think it would work for him? Does he mewnt whay he said? I am hoping he meant whay he said. And it’s hurting me so bad. im hoping for your kind response. Thank you. God bless more.

  6. Ella

    November 1, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I am currently doing the No contact rule. It’s my 10th day. What kind of strategy? What would you recommend?

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 1, 2018 at 11:57 pm

      Hi Ella!

      Congrats for getting to day 10. First you want to make sure you understand all the elements of effectively implementing NC as well as all the things that cme after it. So I suggest you pick up my 485 page eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” so you are up to speed in the most efficient way.

  7. Ella

    October 31, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    Hi Chris and Jennifer,

    We lived together for more than a year. I went home (another country) for two months and that’s when we started fighting. The first month was fine but then he would get really jelaous and we would fight over the phone. When I left home and moved back with him he would say that he doesn’t trust me, that our relationship has no future, that I don’t love him and he would act cold. Then suddenly he would be caring and nice again and then he’d be cold again. We kept fighting and we broke up. He told me he has no feelings because of the fighting and again he doesn’t trust me. I finally had enough of proving him that I love him and told him that I need to be alone.Asked him to move out as soon as possible. He was kinda surprised that I was serious about it but he moved to a friend’s house. After less than one week of no contact he had to come over to the flat to meet with the landlady. He came 3 hours earlier. No idea why. He was really kind and was asking me questions – am I okay, do I need help with anything etc. So today it’s been less than 10 days of no contact and I get a text from him for my birthday. Wished me a happy birthday and told me to always be that beautiful, good, gentle and caring. I replied with a basic thanks after 4 hours. What do you think about the situation? I’m really confused.

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 1, 2018 at 3:02 am

      Hi Ella!

      Best to have a plan going forward so you are operating from some strategy. Have you tapped into any of my resources on the site? It seems you are still in the NC process, but there are way to optimize it.

  8. Meemo

    October 27, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    Been a month since our breakup, I haven’t fully been able to attempt NC… we have 1 1/2yr old daughter, so we need to keep in contact. I was doing alright with minimal texting until a few weeks ago when he came to my house for a visit with our daughter. We ended up having sex and told each other we’d talk more in a few days. That day came and he was hesitant to talk, nothing new there. He told me it was a moment of weakness when we slept together. I was calm, honest, sencere asking him if we could just stay separated for awhile and date again, try to rekindle things and get to know each other again (since our relationship was a fast one). But he said “no. I just think nothing will change, I don’t like going through the ups and downs… I don’t think I can change. What he means by “change” is when I’d request communication and the fact I had concerns as to if he was happy to come home after work, as I feel he likes to stay late and socialize. He works at a brewery, where we met as coworkers. I was never afraid to voice my concerns: Are you happy here with us? I feel like you never engage in conversation, as if your work scene got the best of you….
    I’m 31, he’s 26. We’ve been together for 2 yrs. I get SO many mixed messages from him.

    Since the break up we’ve slept together a few times. I’m not planning to anymore, as it just leads to the obvious- more heartache.

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 28, 2018 at 4:27 am

      Hi Meemo!

      I understand that you are unable to fully implement NC. That’s fine. I talk a lot about all the versions of NC and how it can work for you and many other things in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. So soak that up if you wish to learn more. I understand the lure of sleeping with an ex. But now you have learned that it sometimes doesn’t solve things.

  9. Jessi

    October 27, 2018 at 12:46 am

    Hi Chris,

    I have been reading all your content and want to thank you for everything you put up, it’s really helped me, I bought your UG guide years ago but not sure if it’s different to your new one?? I’ve done a lot of work on myself but I’m really struggling and I need your help…
    I am 8months post break up from my ex boyfriend, we were together 6months but was intense….We have met a few times since, I did NC for 3weeks since after as it was a short relationship, and slowly started building positive rapport through texts for months and we met for a date, went well, lots of laughter fun and chemistry. He then disappears on me for a month ignoring all my texts which broke my heart. Then he texted me appologising and said he struggled and wanted to contact me but couldn’t. Second time we met, I made the mistake of sleeping with him and have done so since…
    Recently I’ve got him helping me out with some project work, but he’s told me we are not dating and we are not getting back together but he spent a lot of time over the phone helping me with work stuff. He got very jealous when I asked him to recommend me another architect when he didn’t want to further help me himself because of time and said he really cares for me like no one else will and no one else can help me and that we could get married one day and have children. He was drunk when he said this after being jealous. I’m very confused because he doesn’t ask to see me or anything, it’s me always initiating, we text daily- I’m reaching out and it’s mostly been positive responses from him. Where do I go from here now??? I can’t seem to let go. I tried backing off and doing NC for a week again to see if he would initiate and he didn’t reach out and I ended up caving and texting him again in fear of losing him. And took ages to build rapport up again to what it was. He seems to respond positively a lot and regularly opens up about his work and life but other times I’m chasing him and get upset when he ignores me and gnat him to reply and then he does.

    Sorry this is long, I feel like giving up now but can’t…I’ve come so far.

    Any advice appreciated.

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 28, 2018 at 5:01 am

      Hi Jessi!

      I have re-written my core eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”. Its now 485 pages long and cover a heck of a lot of material!

      Perhaps a longer use of No Contact might be worth your effort if what you have been trying isn’t getting any traction. I talk about all of the ways you can leverage the NC principle in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. If one is going to do it, its best to do it correctly so that not only do you find your own healing, but do things to reinforce your value. It seems he is taking your for granted and doesn’t appreciate your full value.

  10. Roxanne

    October 18, 2018 at 12:16 am

    Hi Chris, many thanks for this article. I’ve had an ex do some of the things (2,3,4,7) you mentioned in the article, including future pacing. However, after a couple of weeks he seemed to have stopped doing them altogether, and gone cold. Any idea why? Has he given up, or changed his mind?

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2018 at 11:22 pm

      Hi Roxanne!

      No sure why, but interest can wax and wane. Try igniting it again indirectly via social media

  11. Alexa

    August 14, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    My boyfriend has reached out to me multiple times to come get my stuff but has only said nasty things; he seems to have strong emotions, saying “life is unfair to you because you’ll never have the privilege of dating Elmer again” and “don’t even try because there’s no chance for reconciliation” and “I have a new girlfriend” and “I could care less about you.” This is all him reaching out to me, I’ve never contacted him before. He says he wants to “give me back my stuff” and then throws in all these nasty messages. I didn’t talk to him for more than a month, did no contact, then he reached out to me after i unblocked him telling me all these things. He also wrote me an email
    which was quite nasty as well, although he apologized for screaming at me when he broke up with me. Since he only has strongly negative things to say to me (although he is the one always reaching out), do you think I have a chance? He was never like this during our relationship, and we were supposed to get engaged shortly after he broke up with me. What’s the best way to respond to him since he seems so angry (but yet at some point, I’d hope to work things out with him)?

    1. Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      HI Alexa….it seems he is still in the angry stage. So best to no worry about your things for now or arrange for someone else to pick them up for you. I do think you have a chance, but you would benefit if you follow my program. There are some do’s and don’ts and right now you want to avoid playing into his anger.

  12. Jen

    August 14, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    I have a question, so what if at a break up, he states that, “we will never be done”? However, 4 months later he knocks up his next girl he dates and Marries her 4 months into the pregnancy. What would he be thinking? We run into each other in town here and there, and he always, I mean always makes it a point to walk by me. Even if he doesn’t have to. But, he shoots me dirty looks and seems very uncomfortable.

    1. Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 2:55 pm

      It seems he still has some unresolved feelings.

  13. Christian

    August 7, 2018 at 10:55 am

    Hi My lovely now Exgirlfriend cheated on me after a year of dating I found out about a month ago and that was our first and last fight. we separated and she continued going out with the guy and after and after I heard that she was spotted in places just about four days after we speak just sent her a text to say how much I loved her and that I respect her decision and I forgive her for what she did . three days after she read my WhatsApp text she replied and ever since she contacts me regularly and has recently requested that we have sex for the last time since I told her we can’t get back together again because she humiliated me . but the honest truth is in still love her we had so much planned together and we were planning to start a family next year so after we broke up she got that contraceptive on her arm planning to have it for three years and she says she will wait for me forever because she only wants my babies. can you explain to me what is going on here

  14. nina

    May 7, 2018 at 8:23 am

    hi Chris, I broke up with my ex 2 months ago and I did the nc more than a month, I contacted him when I went back home as we were doing long distance relationship. I told him I bought stuff for him and wanted to give it to him, he responded me in 5 hours and we met, he was sad and he cried when I gave the stuff but when I ask about the break up he said he can’t see the future with me anymore because he got a lot of new friend and he is having fun with them, and being in a relationship with me would force him to be with me all the time and he won’t have time for his friends. I miss him and I want him back, I just doesn’t know what I have to do now. I am not contacting him, but I want to.

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      Hi Nina….you have my ebook, right? Because it can give you so much more information on some of the tactics you can employ than I can here in this space. It seems your ex is a bit immature about his relationship decisions. So perhaps with time, he will see the real value in you. Take a look at some of the resources I offer people by going to my website Menu/products link. I am thinking, “The No Contact Rule Book” might be a good fit for you so that you can learn all of the ways in which you can use this principle to optimize your chances and also there are many things you should be doing to help yourself in the self recovery department because I know it hurts. But in in time, we will see how things works out. Let me know how it goes Nina!

  15. Serene

    May 5, 2018 at 3:56 am

    Hi Chris, I broke no contact after 25 days &
    reached out to my ex & it turned out he still feels we need to go separate ways as it didnt work out before. I respected his decision & thank him for loving me. Just when I decided to move on, barely a week he sent me 2 snapchats which i ignored then 2 days ago he text me a ‘Hi’ I responded with a ‘Hi’ after about 12hours & he went silent again… is he playing games to try to keep power on his side ? Why the flippant attitude when he already decided to dump me not once but twice? And when I respect his decision he starts these annoying small acts?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 4:30 am

      Right…I see your point. I guess he is having trouble letting go. Probably not some manipulative power play. But his actions speak louder that his texts or Snaps in my view.

    2. Serene

      May 5, 2018 at 4:38 am

      Hi Chris thank u… he reached out with a dumb Hi… I responded respectfully & got left cold. What do I do if he reaches out again? It almost feels like when he has no control over me or response from me he freaks & then when I do respond he sits & does nothing.
      Its irritating

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 4:50 am

      Yes, that seems to be his pattern. I think he may have some impulse control issues. But there is no reason why you should be drawn it. If its irritating, just ignore him and he will have to learn to wean himself off of his addiction to get a response from you.

    4. Serene

      May 5, 2018 at 4:55 am

      Hi Chris, i responded to his Hi becos if he has anything to say I wanted to give him a chance to say it, if he regrets his decision I would want him to take responsibility for it too. Its literally WTF when he had made his decision then crawls back with an ambiguous ‘Hi’ & when given the opportunity to access my respond he doesnt take it from there. Is this not a mind F attempt? Thank u

    5. Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:48 pm

      Well certainly, at the very least it is a demonstration of his “immaturity” and lack of sensitivity to how he is perceived.

    6. Serene

      May 6, 2018 at 12:56 am

      Hi Chris, at this point of time is it safe to conclude he isnt genuinely keen to reconnect until he does more or learn to talk properly? I know some time down the road he is going to reach out again. I feel like telling him off, not angrily but rather i know what he is trying to do & its not right. Should I do that?

    7. Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 4:03 am

      No Serene…I don’t see how telling him off is going to work out that well. I think you should embody your name (Serene). Seek out moments of Serenity and focus your thoughts on constructive things.

    8. Serene

      May 6, 2018 at 4:05 am

      Then how do I let him know its not right to deal with things this way regardless if we get back with each other? Ignore till his behaviour improves on its own?

    9. Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 5:26 am

      Yes, I think so because otherwise the cycle will just keep repeating and your replies to him just enables him to behave inappropriately.

    10. Serene

      May 6, 2018 at 5:33 am

      Thank You Chris, what will be signs/actions to gauge ‘better behaviour’? Becos even when in a relationship he has the habit of screwing up then reaching up pretending nothing has happened, he’ll apologise when called out for the bad behaviour. Now its worse, he reaches out with a low witted Hi & leaves me cold

    11. Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 2:59 pm

      A consistent pattern of acceptable behavior

    12. Serene

      May 7, 2018 at 1:11 am

      Thank You Chris 🙂

    13. Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2018 at 3:30 am

      Your welcome Serene…go with Serenity!

    14. Serene

      May 12, 2018 at 6:37 am

      Hi Chris, my ex reached out again today asking me how I’ve been. He dumped me twice once in late March & then again in late April when I reached out after a month of NC. When he reached out I followed your text effort mirroring advice. He was very quick in reply. As I’m still healing & do not know his intentions I’m afraid to get hurt & fall back to where I was. After afew meaningless texts from him. I asked him what he wants though? He then replied me ‘ Nothing.Just saying Hi’ so I told him honestly ‘I dont think I want to stay in touch as ‘friends’ at this point of time’ becos I didnt want to ‘help him’ transition through the period of loneliness while he finds someone else & I get friendzoned. His reply was ‘if you say so’ I thought his respond sounded kinda resentful & jerky? The conversation ended with me telling him to take sometime to figure out what he really wants. Did I make wrong moves? To me I know he wants something becos its not logical for a man who jump dumped his ex gf reach out like this just to say Hi, we’ve been on long distance with no mutual friends so it wasnt even necessary to stay friends especially so soon after a breakup. Any thoughts? Thank u Chris for always being so patient 🙂

    15. Serene

      May 13, 2018 at 2:11 am

      Hi Chris, unfortunately these meaningless ‘small acts’ is making me lose trust & respect for him… I never had an ex who dumped & return so quickly with what he is doing which is why it led to me confronting his intentions. He didnt need to test waters to find out where i stand too because he knows I still care. Despite my feelings I do not want him to make use of me to make him feel more ease less guilt & continue to enjoy benefits of the good part of the relationship while not commiting himself to one. I didnt ‘wait & see’ for his true intentions to show but instead asked him becos prolonging this without knowing will deter my healing & moving on. I’m sure there are others in the same situation. I hope to share my 2 cents too

    16. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 5:13 am

      Yes..whether he realizes or not or cares or not…he is kinda blowing it. And if he can’t get it…if he can’t understand the importance of showing empathy for your feelings, then he is just taking from you and not giving back…..and that’s revealing.

    17. Serene

      May 13, 2018 at 11:18 am

      Yea I agree Chris. It has sadly turned kind of game playing & its ugly especially when I still love him. Please make some videos of a similiar content because I believe many out there are going through the same confusion and mislead. I wish humans can be more sincere & less selfish 🙁

    18. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 3:45 pm

      Yes…we would have such a better world if people were less selfish and kind to each other. You might want to go check out my You Tube Page.

    19. Serene

      May 13, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      I’m subscribed to your Youtube Channel for awhile now. Thats where I learnt the mirroring response for texts 🙂

    20. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 4:46 pm

      Awesome! I plan on building up that channel much more.

    21. Serene

      May 14, 2018 at 3:06 am

      Yes pls! Videos make very good educational materials & experience sharing! Go Chris! 🙂

    22. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 12:03 am

      I think they were honest responses you offered up to him. There is a certain up/down cycle to breakups. You have told him what you think he might be doing. If he has other intentions, then he has an opportunity to convey that to you at some stage.

    23. Serene

      May 7, 2018 at 3:32 am

      I’m trying to. Infact after he still decided to go separate ways the 2nd time, i told myself to keep calm, accept it & move on. But his ‘small acts’ made it tough along the way. Hopefully he stops all these OR make a good enough comeback. Life is too short to hassle if ultimately he doesnt love me anymore

  16. Freya

    May 1, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    Hey..So it’s been about 2 months since me and my ex broke up, I started the no contact rule and I’m still on it, I haven’t contacted him for about 5 weeks now straight..But I don’t know when I should end it or whatnot I should do next, we dated for 1 year 6 months, and broke up cause of some circumstances..I don’t know if he will want me back, but I do miss him..I’m a bit confused on when I should break the no contact and start approaching him and make a conversation

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 1, 2018 at 5:07 pm

      Hi Freya…so you are deep enough in it now that you can begin the process of reaching out to him with a first contact message. I offer examples here on the site. But your best bet is to go pick up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” (at my website Menu/Products link) as it will serve as your Companion Guide on all things about breakups. Its very comprehensive and will help you a great deal. You will want to devise your action plan, but read up and learn more about the things you should be doing!

  17. Sally

    April 14, 2018 at 12:24 pm

    Hi I just need to ask one question, its the second time we broke up, year since we last broke up. He broke up with me and the reason is not as bad as last time he said the same things as last time “i want you back later i just need to be alone right now, don’t know what i want I still love you” that kills me… what to do? And can I get him back? Last time he came back in 2 weeks because i used no contact rule.

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      April 14, 2018 at 1:56 pm

      Hi Sally, The good news is you’ve gotten him back before so he’s not one of the stubborn ones that “don’t ever get back with exes.” Restart our process. Do the no contact rule for 21-30 days depending on where he’s at. Your going to have to raise your value because he’s not afraid to lose you. Go on dates with other men and do things that you love. (Don’t tell him about the dates unless he asks. If he does ask tell him (I went on a few dates but I wasn’t interested in anyone.)

  18. Jennifer

    April 8, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    Hi, so my ex and I have been apart for 3 weeks now. He said he needed space to work on himself and needed time to miss me and get the spark back as he was unhappy in the relationship aswell as in his life. I respected that and basically said I would wait for him. I done no contact for 2 weeks but last week I found out he had been messaging another girl, which is so unlike him I don’t understand it. Anyway I went mad and he said there was nothing in it and he’s not interested in another relationship he’s obviously lying because you wouldn’t message someone for no reason. Anyway because I went mad he said maybe we should just call it a day if you can’t give me the space I need. So it ended kind of badly. Ive had no contact with him for a week now, I know he’s a stubborn person and I don’t think he will contact me within these 30 days. But when i do contact him I feel like it’s hard for me because if I be nice it’s as though I’m saying it’s ok for him to be with other people but if I mention it again he’ll know I’m jealous! What do I do here? Thank you your site is amazing x

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Hi Jennifer. Great name! Sorry if I responded to this already as your comment looks familiar. Stay the course with NC. Not cool he is messaging another girl

  19. Meaghan

    April 8, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    Will the NC thing work if we both agreed to do it? He broke up with me after we had a small fight (in my mind) and said he needed space. He reached out asking how I was after not talking for a week and then asked if we could keep in contact. I said I wasn’t ready to talk to him, and we said we’d talk in 2 months. We dated for 3.5 years and are each other’s first loves. It has been long distance for the last 10 months, and we both were unhappy with our individual lives, so it made it hard overall. We talked about marriage and we both want the same things, but we both needed time to figure out how to be happy without the other person. We are only one week into not talking for 2 months, and after seeing NC on here, 2 months seems like a really long time and he knows that we are ignoring each other.

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 2:11 am

      3.5 years is a good bit of traction. Having a lot of time together counts a lot in my opinion. Having some space and time is good. Yes, 2 months is too long. Try a little feeler text after 14 days. I sense a good connection here. I am sure he is feeling bad/guilty about breaking up.

    2. Meaghan

      April 11, 2018 at 10:51 am

      Me telling him that we should take two months and then texting him after a couple of weeks won’t look bad? I don’t want to look like I’m breaking my promise of giving him space.

    3. Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 1:37 pm

      Hi Meaghan…I think you have a good feel for your situation, but two months is a long time in my book

  20. Sapfo

    April 8, 2018 at 1:30 am

    Hello, Chris, Jennifer and every other member of the EBR team! I found this site randomly and I just followed all your articles on becoming UG, even though I was still in a relationship, but it made me feel very confident. Anyway, me and my boyfriend of almost 1 year broke up a week ago. He’s 24, I’m 22. He’s in another country for 1 month doing business, so that works in my favour while doing NC (I started immediately after we broke up). I had a jealousy strike and broke up with him before he left, then we discussed it and said we would try, then he started getting jealous as well and we got into a fight and he called it off. It has happened before, but after 4 days he came back crawling so it wasn’t really a breakup I guess. This time I’m more worried because he said that we don’t make each other happy anymore, that we should see how it is being apart and if I need anything he’s there. I told him I love him but that I do not wish us to be talking. I deleted all of our pictures and changed my relationship status to single, when his is still “in a relationship” and all our pictures are there as well. I’m finding out he’s drinking all night, that he has no friends over there because everyone thinks he’s weird and that he wants to come back here and leave this place, generally he’s having a pretty bad time and his friends are not helping. I know I’m the only one who could help but I’m sworn in NC at this point, so nothing I can do. He’s a very complicated person and this was his first time having a truly meaningful relationship so I know I set the standard high, as he did for me, even though we’ve both been in relationships before. We just had a super understanding to each other and that’s what I can think I can use in my advantage. NC ends a few days after he arrives back, and we were planning to go on a concert of his favourite singer on 12 May (NC ends 30 April). I have the tickets, so what am I going to do? If the texting phase is going well and he seems to want me back, do I suggest we go together? I know he won’t miss it for anything but I don’t want to break NC and I don’t know if/how should I bring it back. Also, what do you think my chances are? The quiz said 43%. What scares me the most is that he won’t get back with me again because of some “I need to work on myself, so I can’t be in a relationship right now” kind of thing, in which case I have no idea what to do. I’m currently travelling and doing a lot of things, I even made new friends so I’m pretty sure I’ll be completing NC succesfully. I’m really sorry for all the details, I just know that the more you have, the more you can work with.
    Thank you SO MUCH and keep up the great work!!

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      April 8, 2018 at 2:15 am

      Thanks for following our site! I think you have a very good shot at getting him back. Your situation is unique and since you’ve gotten back together before I think you will be able to again. Your challenge will be keeping him and overcoming the jealously on both ends.

    2. Sapfo Spyridakos

      April 14, 2018 at 11:01 am

      Hi, Jennifer, Chris and team! Everything was going fine, I’m still in NC and it seemed like he missed me but last night I went out with some guys he didn’t know and they uploaded a picture. He saw it and deleted me and my best friend from Facebook. Do you think I lost my chances? Should I give up?

    3. Jennifer Seiter

      April 14, 2018 at 1:40 pm

      No I don’t think you lost your chances at all! He’s showing emotion which means he still cares and that’s great. How many days do you have left of no contact?

    4. Sapfo Spyridakos

      April 14, 2018 at 1:43 pm

      My first text is supposed to be on 30th April, so about 2 weeks. He also deleted 2 of our pictures (there are still some left) and got off the “in a relationship” status. He’s saying things like “I’m better now that we broke up” which he didn’t before (to his friends, not me). The thing about the emotion is what I thought too because I’d do the same but I’m actually worried that he’s going to get over it and is starting to being better. Thank you for all your help either way, you are amazing!

    5. Chris Seiter

      April 14, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      Hi Sapfo….hope you don’t mind me jumping in her. Just stick to your plan and remember, however this turns out, you are going to be fine. And if you needs some help on the emotional support side, consider our Private Facebook Group which you can learn more about at the website Menu/Products link!

    6. Sapfo

      April 19, 2018 at 1:52 pm

      Hello, Chris, Jennifer and everyone else on the team! So, I’m almost finishing NC (in a week). I’m improving me, I’m not worrying constantly about my ex, and I feel ready for the texting phase. But I had one question: I fall under the insecure category (I read your article about that), and I was wondering: should I skip the memory texts on days 5 & 6 and replace them with something else? Will I come off as clingy or should casually and with confidence send them? (if everything goes well and we get there in the first place)
      Thank you for all the amazing work you do, you are the best out there!
      Peace & love

    7. Chris Seiter

      April 19, 2018 at 3:03 pm

      Good job Sapfo. You are making some great progress. The ex recovery process is very much about YOUR recovery because you have to walk into all the tomorrows wither with or without your ex and either way, you can be happy. Yes, if you feel more comfortable with replacing the memory texts with another form of text, by all means do that. Remember, these recommended texts are subject to modification depending on the situation and everyone’s situation is unique. And by the way Sapfo, if you feel you will benefit from some additional support, look into my Private Facebook Group which has about 1400 women now who support each other and and I do Facebook lives weekly with the group. (website Menu/Products link).

    8. Sapfo Spyridakos

      April 19, 2018 at 3:26 pm

      I remember there was an “offer”, that you could get the book and also be in the Facebook group? I don’t remember exactly where I saw it or if it was limited time, am I mistaken? And which book was it, texting bible or ebr pro?
      Thank you again!

    9. Chris Seiter

      April 19, 2018 at 10:58 pm

      Hi there Sapfo! That offer still exists for those who participate in my “On Demand Webinar” which you can get a lot out of. You can register for the Webinar at your convenience on my website. The offer is for EBR Pro Premium Bundled Package which includes several other ebooks and the Private Facebook Group (which has about 1400 member right now) is included for free.

      Keep me in the loop and let me know how things turn out for you Sapfo!

    10. Sapfo Spyridakos

      April 30, 2018 at 10:33 am

      Hey, guys!! I just wanted to keep you updated because you’ve helped me so much and I feel like I owe it to you. So,my ex has fallen in love with another girl, and upon hearing that, I actually realised that me going back into a relationship with him wouldn’t accomplish anything, he never wanted to change, and that I was probably having feelings from when things were still good. So I completed the NC but on the day I was supposed to send the text, I realised I wasn’t excited or that much into it.So, I wouldn’t know if the method would work because I decided I feel more powerful moving on and doing something better with my life, but I want you to know that your help was more than I could imagine. Keep up the good work for all the girls out there! And girls, if you read this comment, it takes some perspective, but look clearly if your ex is the right guy for you, because you can be Ungettable and have better options !!
      Thank you always

    11. Chris Seiter

      April 30, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      Hi Sapfo….that happens with lots of people. As they get further removed from the pressing emotions of wanting their ex back and work on improving themselves, they realize what they want back is not so much their ex, but other things. I am proud of you Sapfo for seeing the bigger picture.

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