By Chris Seiter

Updated on March 16th, 2021

My intention is to make this the most comprehensive list of signs that your ex can’t stop thinking about you.

The best part?

I’m going to be providing proof of real life examples, stories or statistics that back each of my signs up.

In short, if you’re wondering if your ex is still thinking about you after the breakup then you came to the right place.

Let’s begin!

7 Signs That Prove Your Ex Can’t Stop Thinking About You

For the record, I’m aware that technically there are more than seven signs that can show if your ex is still thinking about you. However, I picked these seven because they are the most common I am seeing and there is some way of measuring them.

In short, here are the things you need to be looking out for,

  1. They Will React To You In Some Way On Social Media
  2. They Ask About You When They Run Into Mutual Friends
  3. They Log Into Any Shared Accounts
  4. They Change Their Social Media Behavior Completely
  5. They Try To Get In Touch With You At Weird Times
  6. They Keep Showing Up At Places You Frequent
  7. They Hold On To Some Of Your Items After The Breakup

Now comes the fun part.

I’m going to take each of these signs and talk a little bit about what they mean and provide my evidence for why they are a legitimate sign that you need to be watching out for.

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Sign #1: They Will React To You In Some Way On Social Media

In 2012, Veronika Lukacs, a student attempting to complete her masters thesis stumbled across some fascinating findings about Facebook.

She was trying to determine how often exes would “facebook creep” on their exes.

Facebook Creeping = Basically stalking your ex indirectly on Facebook

Lukacs, found that 88% of the subjects she interviewed admitted to creeping on their exes. Essentially this means that there is a 9 in 10 chance that your ex is going to keep an eye on you in social media.

I’ve found through working with clients that reacting to you on Facebook isn’t the only thing they can do.

It can also extend to other forms of social media.

If you notice your ex liking your photos, commenting on your videos, watching your snapchat stories.

Basically reacting to you in some way, shape or form.

It’s a good indication that they are thinking about you.

Sign #2: They Ask About You When They Run Into Mutual Friends

When I was 18 years old I went through my very first breakup.

I went through a wide range of emotions,

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But there is one memory that I still think about to this day.

Let me give you some background.

Throughout my relationship with my ex all I would hear about was how she used to have a crush on a “certain guy.”

Honestly, there is nothing more aggravating than someone telling you that they used to have a massive crush on someone else,

Oh, but she doesn’t have a crush on him anymore now that she met me.


Anyways, we eventually broke up and lo and behold whose the first person that I hear she dated after me?

You guessed it.

“That guy.”

Anyways, the memory that really sticks out to me when I think back to my time after that breakup is when I was hanging out with my best friend at his place one day and he got a call.

It was a little mysterious because he just got up and left to go take the call outside.

I figured it was some girl he was working on getting.

Turns out it was my ex.

She called him to vent, because she couldn’t call me, about the fact that I was a much better boyfriend than “that guy.”

Of course, the second he gets off the phone he runs in and tells me who it was and it made me feel excellent because I knew after all this time she was still thinking about me.

Sign #3: They Still Log In To Shared Accounts

We tend to share certain things when we get into a relationship with someone.

Usually those things include,

  • Netflix
  • Hulu
  • Pandora
  • Spotify
  • Amazon Prime
  • You Get The Picture

Some of these things will actually notify you of when someone accesses your account.

For me it would be Netflix.

I actually share it with my parents and my brother.

They mooch off me 🙂 .

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But I love them so it’s ok.

But if I look at my recent history you can see everyone who accessed my account and what they watched. All the arrows below are what my parents watched,

You probably see a lot of kids shows on my Netflix account.

That is because I have a three year old.

Anyways, you can perform this little test on your ex and see if they are logging into your account.

You just know that if they are logging into your account they have to be thinking of some of those times that you watched Netflix together.

You have to run through their mind at least once.

Sign #4: They Change Their Social Media Behavior Completely

This one is probably my favorite sign because it’s completely underrated.

Human beings are often defined by patterns.

We establish certain patterns in almost every aspect of our lives.

  • The foods we eat.
  • The workouts we engage in.
  • The people we talk to.

There is a certain pattern to almost everything we involve ourselves in. When a pattern is broken it often means something significant happened to cause the break.

Your ex has a certain social media posting pattern.

If they change that patten dramatically then you know you are the catalyst and they are thinking about you. Why are you the catalyst? Because they just went through a breakup with you dummy.

Let’s say that your ex is an established poster on Facebook.

He or she averages a good post a day but after the breakup they don’t post for a few weeks.

This is a sign that they are hurt by the breakup and don’t have the desire to post.

In other words, they are thinking about you.

On the flip side, let’s say that they are not a frequent poster on social media and yet their posting becomes much more significant after the breakup. It’s almost as if they are trying to prove something to you.

These are signs that they are thinking about you.

Sign #5: They Try To Get In Touch With You At Weird Times

If you read my book I often say that the battle for getting your ex back doesn’t really happen in the things you say or do. It happens when your ex is left alone to their own decides.

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When they have time to sit, think and process.

Speaking personally, it’s impossible for me to process emotions until I actually have time to sit and think for a few days.

This is why I love books and movies so much.

One that make you feel.

That touch something primal.

Something you can’t quite explain.

When I first watched Interstellar I couldn’t immediately explained why I was so moved by it.

But after a few days I realized that it was this scene right here that got me,

It really does a great job of highlighting the sacrifices being made for the survival of our race.

It’s powerful.

But I didn’t come to that conclusion immediately.

It took a few days of processing and thinking about it.

Here’s my point.

If you start noticing you are getting calls from your ex at weird times in the morning or at night it could be a sign that they are in deep in thought processing.

In other words, they are thinking about you.

Sign #6: They Keep Showing Up At Places You Frequent

Let’s say that you go to a party and you notice your ex is their.

It’s awkward, right?

You don’t really know what to do or what to say. In fact, this exact scenario is something I talk a lot about with my coaching clients.

It’s possible that seeing them at this party is a coincidence.

But then you see them again at a different party the next week.

You see them while you are working shopping in a shopping center near your work.

It doesn’t seem like that initial party was a coincidence anymore, does it?

Here’s my point.

If your ex starts frequenting places that you frequent more than once.

Chances are, it’s not a coincidence.

Sign #7: They Hold On To Items Of Yours After The Breakup

This is actually a scenario I talk a lot about in my book.

Basically what do you do when there are items to exchange with your ex?

What does it mean when they give you back everything except that one thing.

Is it significant?

Are they just a freak… hoarding it like Gollum?

As weird as this sounds I have known some exes to hold onto items of yours on purpose so they have an excuse to see you again.

The thinking goes like this,

If I hold onto this item I can just pretend I forgot to give it back and I’ll get to see them again

All of this being, of course, proof that they are thinking about you.

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10 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Can’t Stop Thinking About You”

  1. Bless Parco Rodriguez

    July 1, 2021 at 6:23 am

    Could this be considered as a sign that he’s not over me if he kind of imitates my actions on social media?

  2. Madeleine Morgan

    June 15, 2021 at 8:19 pm

    My ex and I broke up about a month ago and we’re living together until a week ago. I’ve noticed he’s been posting more on social media and he’s usually one of the first people to see my stories on Snapchat and Facebook. And I saw earlier that he bought the same alcohol that we used to drink together. He still has some of my stuff but hasn’t bothered sending it to me. He got mad at me yesterday and called me crazy cuz I was just checking up on him. Sometimes he’ll bring up memories we share. Does he want me back and if he does,how do I go about it?

  3. Kari

    February 10, 2021 at 8:10 pm

    He bought a truck in November. It was too expensive and gas prices were projecting to rise in the very near future but he bought the truck. That was a blow for me, we’d been eyeballing making a huge move across state within the next year and I’m the higher earner so to see him put that much effort into himself rather than our future hit me hard. I got over it mostly and he spent the next month absolutely sweeping me off my feet in dates and romance. Then didn’t get me a single thing for Christmas (I bought him stuff for his truck and apartment) but had lead me to believe he had been shopping for the perfect stuff for me. Ouch. That is not his normal behavior, 5 years and going from broke to comfort financially we’ve always worked hard with whatever budget we had to really get the other something special. He’d gotten me nothing, told my mom AND his mom he had this under control and hadn’t ordered or planned anything. He got me some stuff two weeks later and I loved everything he’d bought but it was definitely less thought out on the whole than normal.
    His birthday was in January we celebrated the day after and I treated him to a breakfast and some little things he wanted, lovely day. I went across state to visit my mother for the year anniversary of her husband’s passing and boyfriend of 5.5 years joined last minute, no problems, he didn’t even get upset I got us very, very lost at one point. First two days were okay, third day we’d gotten some bad news and none of us were feeling very positive about things but mom and I gave him space and we went shopping for most the day. That evening he was utterly checked out and when I checked up on him he lost his temper told me he wanted space and I never give it to him. He left. 4 hour trip driving 75-80 mph the whole way back (google maps location sharing, he turned it off later). I didn’t text him and watched him cut me off of Facebook then just straight up deleted the entire thing. He’d left some important stuff at my mom’s so I texted him two weeks after the fight and he didnt want to talk just get his stuff back. I went over a few days ago to make our trade of stuff, we are in our 30s and I asked was he really so upset I checked up on him that he was done and he looked pained, told me there’s been problems that we weren’t fixing (because he would rather gaw off his arm than talk to me about them) and he didn’t want to say there was no chance later or that there was, that right now he’s upset and he wants to be left alone. He knows where I live and I know where he lives but for now he needed space. He said he knew my birthday was coming up but he never finished his thought about it because I was trying to keep it together. He’s been on my Netflix account in his profile ever since that day and commenting on the youtube videos he knows we both watch but other than that I’m completely in the dark. I’ve spoiled this man rotten, I work grueling hours on the nightshift so I could have days off with him. I’ve invested so much into him and our relationship and have ruthlessly climbed the ladder at work to afford what we’d set out as our dream of moving and starting somewhere better. And now he’s gone. He builds walls when stressed and after a lifetime of abandonment issues I want comfort and to give comfort when I’m stressed or want to help him. So do I start NC again from this point? We’ve broken up before over two different reasons prior this, the first being the one that broke off our engagement. And by the way, I tried to give him the old engagement ring back, he could have sold it to pay towards his truck, but he gave it back to me like it burnt his hands to hold the box and told me to add it to my jewelry collection. I’m so confused, besides no contact and just trying to get through my own stuff I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

  4. maggie

    January 7, 2021 at 4:03 am

    this is so very true…my x still has my house key..absolutely refuses to give it back, now he says he doesn’t have it,which I know is all lies..if I had broke up with someone and I knew I was completely done ,house key would be the 1 thing they getting back

  5. Mae

    March 26, 2020 at 9:55 am

    My ex and I were together for almost 6 months. Back in January was when things took a turn for the worst, it started back when I found a message in his phone about me to his co worker- I addressed it to him that and he was silent with me the next day, didn’t tell me bye like he always does when leaving in the morning and took his laptop with him, he said he felt like his “privacy was invaded”. A few days later he went through my apple watch and found a very old message with me and my ex before him, and yes I know it’s a bad thing but at the time he was very suicidal. Anyways, he insists I move out with him because he needed space and time. Of course I complied and did what he wanted, a week or so later we went to hooking up every other week to almost every other day. At the time I thought it was fixing us but stepping me I can see that it wasn’t. Valentine’s Day came around and I hadn’t talked to him for a week almost two, he’s out with my very close friends and tells them he wants to get back with him and wants to take me out for weekend. We spent that whole weekend together and things were GREAT! We made promises to work on things and to communicate better with the other, even if he bothered us. WELL a week later he runs off for a work related dinner, that I was originally invited too but of course we broke up the first time so I just assumed he wasn’t going. He leaves the state for the weekend and doesn’t tell me, I had to find out through Snapchat location and he still lied to me where he was really going (told me the first time it was for boats and casinos with his work buddies). He comes back that Sunday and I wanted to message him until the following Wednesday, I tell him I wanted to know what was going on and if I was wasting my time, all I get back is “I think we should stop hooking up”. A few days later being upset as I am I sent a final messaging spilling my heart out and feelings and he doesn’t reply, he comes into my work (I work in a college bar- he lives a few houses down for this bar) that whole weekend and watches me and my reactions. Tells me he read my message but still has no explanation and then Tells my friend that he was 100% done with me but I didn’t believe it because there was alcohol involved. At this point it’s been almost a month since I had last heard from him. He showed up a couple weeks ago when I was off and stood at the table behind me and I would catch him starring but he never said a word. He leaves and eventually so do I. I’ve been trying to implant the NC rule but I feel like it’s not working. He still has a few of my things so I know he’s gotta feel some type of way right? HELP

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 5, 2020 at 12:15 pm

      Hi Mae, its great you implemented the NC period and stuck to it for the month. I am wondering if you worked on your Holy Trinity at all during this time? IF not then look into that and extend your NC to 45 days. I think he still cares for you but is not going to commit to you as he has already had the benefits without a relationship. I would reach out in the texting phase and attempt to rebuild a relationship where he invests time with you but you do not be intimate in ANY way until you are boyfriend and girlfriend again

  6. K

    December 21, 2019 at 5:07 pm


    Just wanna ask, im currently implementing nc, and he’s been replying to my ig stories, should i let him know that i am reading his messages even though i dont reply to them?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 21, 2019 at 10:34 pm

      You can read but do not reply

  7. Dee

    November 12, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    30 days of no contact over. We agreed to meet for lunch. He picked the place…where we had our first date. Weird, right? Anyway, it went extremely well. We laughed and talked a mile a minute and picked exactly were we left off. I tried to follow your advice about being upbeat and not bring up the break up. The thing is…he did. Asking if my family asks about him and his two dates he had that did not go well. I wouldn’t have even shared with anybody whatchus first date said to him…it was awful. So why share that embarrassment with me? He was definitely NOT rubbing my face in it at all. He kept asking about me and if I was dating and asking why we got in the argument. I tried not answering most of the questions directly, because your web sight said not to, so I was vague. He told me that he missed me when we hugged goodbye. He sent me a text stating that he had a good afternoon spending time with me and we should do it again soon. Maybe next weekend we can watch the football game together. I said ok..we’ll see each other soon. I did not commit…although I was dying too. Ok. That’s the background. I think it went very well. He’s definitely wondering and thinking about things and which way he should go, right? My question is…what do I do now? I don’t see any advice for AFTER the first date after NC. Please help. I want to do the right thing and perhaps we can have another chance. If not, I’ll be sad but the 30 days of NC really helped me get past the desperation without looking like a fool and got my mindset in keeping myself busy and what’s best for me. I can walk away if he doesn’t choose me and be ok. Sad but still confident, still have a life and still content. Thank you for that.

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 14, 2018 at 2:09 am

      Hi Dee…..I am very happy for you in that the NC helped you move past desperation. Just think little steps, avoiding relationship talk that might spook him. Focus on sharing new and interesting experiences together. Rejoice in the little moments. Avoid the desire to cling or being too reliant. Self reliance is what you strive for.