Knowing if your ex is interested in you after a breakup can be tricky to determine.
Luckily, I’m about to make it easy for you by showing you 5 signs based on success stories, psychological research and my own experience being a coach for half a decade.
The best part?
I am consistently seeing these signs among my clients every single day so everything I’m about to tell you is still very relevant.
5 Signs That Your Ex Is Still Interested In You
You may read that heading and have a bit of an alarm go off.
Aren’t there more than 5 signs to help you determine if your ex is interested in you?
Yes, in fact I’d make an argument that there are hundreds.
However, I don’t have the time or patience to list every single one out for you. Instead, I chose the five most common ones I see time and time again. You can see the list below,
- Mutual Eye Contact
- The First Contact Text Message Goes Well
- You Are Getting Quick Responses From Your Ex
Like always, I’m going to do a deep dive into each of these signs and give you a good idea at what you should be looking for you.
You better be!
Sign #1: Mirroring
When I was 20 years old and attending a college class I had the good fortune of sitting next to an attractive woman.
I was single at the time and quite frankly desperate to get a date.
Of course, I was still a slave to the insecurities that come with a lifetime of rejection from pretty girls.
This fear made me scared to make a move.
As the semester ticked by I got to know the girl and started to build some rapport.
One day I learned back in my chair and a few seconds later I noticed that she leaned back in hers.
That’s odd, I thought to myself
A few minutes later I shifted my body to lean forward.
Seconds later I noticed that she followed suite.
Have you ever been mimicked by a mime?
That’s a little what it felt like but the craziest part is that this was all unconscious by the girl.
She had no idea that she was doing it.
What she was doing was mirroring.
It’s common to mimic a suitors body language if you are interested in them.
This definitely extends to exes.
I can’t tell you how many people who have picked up my book only to email me a few months later to tell me that they started noticing their ex mirroring them on a date.
Here’s my advice to you.
If you are on a date with your ex and you begin to notice them mirroring your body language it is a very good sign.
Pay attention to subtle seemingly insignificant details and it’ll give you insight into what is going on in their heads.
Sign #2: Mutual Eye Contact
We tend to hold eye contact with people that we are falling for a lot longer than someone we aren’t falling for.
That seems like common sense, right?
But I want you to think about the act of looking into someones eyes.
It aint easy to prolong that eye contact.
I’ll give you an example.
This is what my average eye contact looks like when I’m talking to someone I don’t know that well.
Do you see how all over the place that is?
The best way I can describe my eye contact with someone normally is I’ll look into their eyes in short bursts. I don’t ever prolong that eye contact.
However, you’d better believe it’s significant if I do prolong eye contact with someone.
In fact, I’m thinking about my eye contact patterns over the past few months and I can honestly say the only time I’ve prolonged eye contact with someone has been my wife and it’s always been in an intimate situation.
So, for her the eye contact looks like this,
And for other people it’s this mess,
Prolonged eye contact is a symptom of interest.
Take note of it.
Sign #3: Barriers
I love this sign because no one ever things something so insignificant can be so meaningful which is an interesting trend that is forming with these signs, isn’t it?
So, what do I mean by barriers?
Honestly, this is best explained by giving an example.
Let’s pretend for a moment that you and your ex are going on a date to a tex mex restaurant.
I grew up in Texas and it’s littered with the joints.
Tex Mex 101: Each Tex Mex Restaurant Places An Order Of Chips And Salsa For You To Munch On As You Are Seated
Often these chips and salsa are placed between you and your date for both of you to nibble.
Seems insignificant, right?
But what if I were to tell you that it wasn’t.
As you begin the date you notice that your ex places the chips and salsa to the side of the table so they have a direct sightline of you.
Remember, the chips and salsa create a barrier between the two of you.
It’s significant if they push those chips and salsa because they are physically removing a barrier between the two of you.
Barriers can be anything from,
So, one thing that I am always telling my clients is that you should place a small barrier between you and your ex on the date to see if they remove it.
If they do, it’s a small sign that they are interested in their experience with you.
Sign #4: The First Contact Text Message Goes Well
Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery I recommend something called the no contact rule.
You may have heard of it?
I’ve done a zillion videos on it,
Anyways, the gist of the no contact rule is pretty simple.
You are going to ignore your ex for a certain amount of time and use that time to cultivate your life while hoping they miss you.
It’s essentially your reset button after the breakup.
The problem is that everyone struggles on reestablishing contact with their exes.
In fact, so many people struggle with it that I’ve written a whole book about how to do it.
My recommendation is to use what I call a “first contact text message.”
Again, you can pick up my book if you’d like to learn the whole process from start to finish.
How your ex responds to that first contact after the no contact rule is a huge indicator of how interested they are in you. So, how did I come up with this knowledge.
Truthfully I can’t claim that I did.
Last year I was interviewing someone who got their ex back and noticed that they mentioned this as something that stood out,
(Fast forward to about the 18 minute 35 second mark if the video doesn’t automatically do it for you.)
In this interview, Kelly (the woman who got her ex back) mentioned that things really took off for her when she sent that first contact text message and got a very positive response.
I’ve been on record as saying that I believe there is this snowball effect that must take place where things just seemingly fall into place and getting a great response to your first contact text message is enough to get that momentum flowing in many cases.
Sign #5: You Are Getting Quick Responses From Your Ex
This sign is an extension of the one above.
Where sign #4 focused on getting positive responses from your ex this one focuses on how timely the responses are.
Now, I know what you are thinking.
Very original Chris… We already knew that
I was actually counting on it.
But I can provide something that most of my competitors can’t, proof.
Proof that this works based on a real life success story.
I’d like to introduce you to Jessy.
She is actually one of my original success stories and she used my best selling book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO to get her ex back who she is now married to,
Anyways, she was kind enough to come onto the podcast and do an interview with me,
Around 18 minutes and 58 seconds Jessy mentions something interesting about her experience texting her ex.
She was getting quick responses.
Sometimes immediately and sometimes within 5 minutes.
She mentioned this as being one of the primary things that stuck out to her.
At the beginning of this article I mentioned that there are probably hundreds of subtle signs that you can point out and claim they are indicators of interest within your ex.
If you have questions about anything I talked about today or think you have a sign that should be included make sure you comment below.
Again, I respond to every single comment (albeit a bit late sometime but I’m a busy guy so cut me a bit of a break.)
Oh, one final thing.
I’d like to do a quick recap of everything we talked about today,
- There are definitely more than 5 signs to indicate interest within exes but I picked the most prevalent
- If your ex mirrors your body language in person it’s a good sign
- Prolonged eye contact is a BIG deal. Look at my own experience for proof of that
- If you notice your ex physically remove barriers between the two of you it’s a sign of interest as well
- How your ex responds to your text messages is a big indicator of where they are at
- How quick your ex responds is another indicator as well
Make sure you comment!