Will He Change His Mind And Come Back To Me?

Life is a series of choices.

We choose to wake up and get out of bed in the morning as opposed to laying in it all day.

We choose to go left, instead of right.

We choose to date who we want to date.

Or perhaps this one will hit a little closer to home…

Your ex boyfriend chose not to come back to you after your breakup.

But what if I told you that there are certain things that you can do to influence his decision on whether or not he will come back to you?

Would you be interested in hearing about those things?

Yes?

Awesome!

But first, lets start off by talking about the age old question on if he will change his mind and suddenly decide to come back to you.

Is It Possible For My Ex To Change His Mind And Come Back?

Ok, in case you don’t know who I am….

My name is Chris Seiter and I am a professional relationship consultant specializing in breakups. I am also the founder of Ex Boyfriend Recovery and have helped over 15 million women with their exes in some way shape or form.

Oh, I also like thinking I am superman for some reason,

Which proves I may be a little nutty…

Ok, ok, all kidding aside I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that I know what I am talking about when it comes to exes.

I have seen a lot in my time and I can tell you with certainty that it is possible for an ex boyfriend to suddenly change his mind about the breakup. However, it is very unlikely.

In other words, it’s very, very, very RARE!

Though I suppose you want a percentage since you are doing all this research on the internet.

Ok, if you were to pin me down in a corner I would estimate that 98% of exes won’t change their mind about their breakup without you doing anything.

Which means that 2% will.

Now, I don’t know about you but those aren’t odds I would like to play with.

So, I am going to answer the ultimate question you are probably having at this point.

But Chris, how can I raise my odds that he will want me back?

Well, instead of waiting around on the sideline hoping that the magical fairy’s of love land (just made that up :p ) will help you out your are going to have to get involved and change his mind yourself.

Look, I am not going to lie to you.

Generally speaking a certain amount of this is completely out of your control.

You can’t control what he thinks…

You can’t control what he does…

You can’t control him…

But you can influence how he thinks…

And with that influence you can sway his actions…

And that’s what I would like to teach you today.

I would like to teach you how to change his mind so that he comes back to you.

Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?

Yes?

Awesome.

Let’s begin by tackling something I like to call “The Belief Path”

The Belief Path

What I am about to tell you is perhaps the most important thing to grasp if you want to not just change your ex boyfriends mind about you but anyone’s.

Ultimately changing someones mind about something revolves around three components.

Beliefs lead to actions and actions lead to results.

I’ll give you an example.

Your ex boyfriend currently believes that he doesn’t want you back. Which means that he isn’t going to take any type of action to get you back. Which ultimately means that there will be no type of results relating towards the two of you reconciling.

But it all starts with “belief.”

If a human being doesn’t truly believe that they can get the desired result that they want then they attempt something they aren’t going to take any actions necessary to see results.

Do you see where I am going with this?

If you want to change your ex boyfriends mind about about you then you need to focus on reshaping his belief system.

And believe me when I say that belief systems are amazing.

Nothing illustrates that point better than Roger Bannister.

You see, way back in the day it was thought to be impossible for a human being to break “the four minute mile.”

Basically, people believed that that a human being could not run a mile in under four minutes.

But not Roger Bannister.

You see, he believed that it was possible and from that belief he took actions that ultimately resulted in him running a mile in 3 minutes and 59 seconds (talk about cutting it close.)

But here is perhaps the most important part.

Once human beings saw that it wasn’t impossible to run a four minute mile as a result of Bannister they started believing that they could do it.

And within a year someone else had already broken the 4 minute mile.

Here is the point I am trying to make.

If you really want your ex boyfriend to take the actions that you want him to take (like getting back with you) then you need to hack his belief system to make him believe that it is in his best interest to do so.

How To Hack Your Exes Belief System

So, let’s study beliefs for one minute.

Generally speaking, beliefs come from two sources,

  1. Self Generated Beliefs
  2. Externally Generated Beliefs

Let’s take a moment to defines what these two types of beliefs look like.

Self Generated Belief: This is a type of belief that one forms on his/her own through their own experience and assumptions

In your exes case he has experienced dating you and has come to his own conclusion for why he doesn’t want to date you.

This is his own self generated belief and if you are going to have any chance of changing his mind about you, you are going to have to learn how to hack this type of belief.

Of course, I always find the next type of belief more interesting.

Externally Generated Belief: This is a type of belief that forms when a person trusts the opinions of others.

I’ll give you an example.

Let’s say that your exes hero is batman.

And batman tells him that it would be a horrible idea to date you and that he should break up with you.

So he does!

Well, he only did that because batman told him to do that.

In other words, someone he trusts and likes shaped his belief that leaving you was a good idea.

Get it?

Ok, well what I’d like to do now is give you an idea of exactly how you can change your exes mind by hacking these two beliefs.

We shall start with self generated beliefs.

Hacking His Self Generated Beliefs

While your ex was dating you he learned certain things about you.

Experience does that.

Some of the things he probably liked but I am betting a lot of things he didn’t like.

Now, when I tell most women that they freak out and tell me to f*ck off.

It always confuses me because I look at it like an opportunity to improve going forward.

Here, I’ll give you a personal example using my wife.

As I dated her I learned that she wasn’t exactly the cleanest person.

She leaves food out…

She doesn’t clean up after herself all the time and sometimes it really gets on my nerves.

After experiencing this for the first few times I created a self generated belief that she just isn’t a clean person.

So, it’s now part of my belief system.

But what if she wanted to change my belief system?

What if she wanted to convince me that I was wrong and that she wasn’t as messy as I thought?

How could she do that?

Simple, she could blow me away by having the house clean every single day.

After that I would revisit my belief and perhaps change my mind about her and that’s what I am going to ask you to do.

I want you to identify your exes negative beliefs about you and turn them upside down.

Of course, you are probably sitting there wondering,

“But how do I know what his negative beliefs of you are?”

I’ll tell you what.

I’ll help you understand what your ex boyfriend is probably thinking and what you need to do about them.

BUT if I help you understand them then I need you to take action.

Deal?

Good!

Negative Thought #1: I Can Do Better Than Her

Weird, right?

The fact that your ex boyfriend probably thinks that he can do better than you.

Some of you may disagree but before you leave Ex Boyfriend Recovery forever give me an opportunity to defend my position.

Whether your ex boyfriend is aware of it or not there are three things that go through his mind when he is deciding on whether he should break up with you.

  1. How satisfied he is with the relationship
  2. If he can do better than you
  3. How much he has invested into your relationship

If he comes to the conclusion that he isn’t very satisfied with you, that he can probably do better and that he hasn’t invested too much time into the relationship then he is probably going to leave that relationship.

But I’d like you to turn your attention to number two in the list above.

He thinks he can do better than you…

Personally speaking it’s a thought I have had in every single one of my breakups.

Eventually I would literally think,

“Pssh… I can totally do better than her.”

And it’s something that is shaping your exes belief system.

So, what can you do if he is having this negative thought?

Simple, prove to him that he can’t do better than you.

Negative Thought #2: She Will Beg For Me Back

Did I ever tell you the story of my very first breakup?

No?

Well, it’s a good one.

So basically I was in a really toxic relationship for 9 months.

Now, I am not saying that I was a saint in the relationship. In fact, I was far from it.

I was young…

Immature…

And an pretty much an as*hole some of the time…

But she was no saint either.

Anyways, for 9 long months we clung to each other making each other crazy.

Eventually in a fit of rage I texted her two simple words,

Now, here is where things get interesting.

When I sent her that text the two of us were in the middle of a very bad fight.

So, when I sent her the words “I’m Done…” I actually meant that I was done with the conversation, not the relationship.

Unaware that I had just broken up with her I texted her a couple of hours later hoping that she had cooled off so we could smooth things over.

That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks.

She had taken “I’m Done” the wrong way and this was my one chance to smooth it over.

I was at a crossroads.

On the one hand, I could try to smooth things over with her and hope that we could continue our super toxic relationship. On the other hand, I could let it go and be free from the burden that the relationship was having on me.

Our entire relationship flashed through my eyes.

Sure, I remembered some good moments but most of the moments towards the end were bad.

Things had grown so toxic that it had gotten to the point that I was losing myself.

I felt like I was being used.

So, I let her go.

I didn’t try to tell her the truth of what I had meant.

I simply let it be and didn’t respond to her.

And that’s when I had a singular thought that I think you’ll find fascinating.

“Besides, she’ll probably end up begging for me back.”

It was this self generated belief that made it ok for me to walk away. In the back of my mind I knew that she would want to try again.

I knew that when she went out to experience what other guys were like she would come to realize how good she had it with me.

And that’s actually what happened.

She ended up dating a guy who she was obsessed with, even when we were dating, and came to find out that things weren’t as good as they were with me.

Eventually she started reaching back to to me with texts like,

This made me believe that I could get her back whenever I wanted and while you would think that, that would be an incredible turn on, it wasn’t.

The opposite occurred, in fact.

I was turned off by her.

Now, you may be sitting there and wondering,

“Why is he telling me this story?”

I want it to be a lesson for you.

If your ex boyfriend broke up with you then he thinks he is in a position of power and usually he is.

He knows that you might still have a thing for him and that you want him back.

So, when you engage in behavior that feeds that belief he isn’t going to think,

“I miss her so much…”

Instead, he is going to think,

“I already knew that…”

And move on.

In other words, don’t feed his self generated belief.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Negative Thought #3: I Don’t Love Her Anymore

I want you to understand something.

Your ex boyfriend has probably convinced himself that he doesn’t love you anymore.

It hurts, doesn’t it?

To hear that truth.

But does it mean that you have no chance of changing his mind about the breakup?

Nope.

Actually if you do two things you have a really good chance of changing his mind on this “love business.”

Have you ever heard of something called “The Peak-End Rule?”

This concept is going to be essential for you to kickstart his heart,

So, “The Peak End Rule” basically states that when a human being thinks back on an experience they don’t remember it as a start to finish experience. Instead, two points stand out to them.

  1. The peak of the experience (meaning the height of it.)
  2. And the end of the experience (meaning, in your case, the lead up to the breakup.)

I’d like to turn your attention above to the story I told about my very first breakup.

Do you remember the part where I mentioned that “my entire relationship with my ex flashed in front of my eyes?”

Do you remember how I made mention of the fact that I remembered some of the good moments but mostly moments that were bad towards the end.

This is “The Peak End Rule” in effect.

When I remembered my relationship with my ex the bad stuff towards the end far outweighed the good stuff in the middle.

But can you imagine if the opposite had occurred.

Can you imagine if instead of remembering more of the toxic end, I remembered the glorious beginning?

My life may have very well been different than it is right now.

I may have actively tried to get her back.

Look, here is what I am trying to say.

If you want to change your exes mind about you then you need to reinforce the best parts of your relationship by bringing up similar feelings that he felt during the peak of the relationship.

Externally Generated Beliefs

And now we move on to externally generated beliefs.

Personally speaking, this is the most underused and under talked about belief hack I have ever seen before.

So, what are externally generated beliefs?

An externally generated belief is a belief that you accumulate through the experiences or beliefs of others. Usually, from someone you look up to, admire or trust.

Remember the batman example I gave above?

Anyways, at this point you are probably wondering how you can hack your exes external beliefs.

Well, in order for me to explain that to you I must first explain this idea of a sphere of influence.

What Is A Sphere Of Influence?

There are a select number of individuals that your ex trusts above all.

This select number of individuals make up your exes sphere of influence.

It’s basically the group of people who your ex takes advice from and listens to. In other words, they have a huge impact on his beliefs.

Hmm…

Perhaps I should get a little more technical here.

Ok, since I am a man and you are probably interested in getting your ex back (who is a man) let’s look at my sphere of influence.

When I look at my life there are really four forces I can think of that make up my externally generated beliefs.

  1. My Wife
  2. My Family
  3. My Friends
  4. My Idols

Here, take a look at the graphic below,

All of these things have a huge impact on my belief system.

So, here is the question I submit to you.

If you were to try to hack my externally generated beliefs what would you do?

Well, ideally what you would do is get all of the people/groups pictured above to say nice things about you. Thus, affecting hacking my belief system.

It’s like a good ad.

You don’t have to make a sale every time someone sees your ad. All that matters is you plant the idea of a sale or get your brand recognized with the intent of getting a sale down the road.

Now, I don’t talk about this a lot because I like to protect the privacy of everyone who is a member but I actually have a private Facebook group. It’s probably the thing that I am most proud of because I have a direct line of communication to you guys and I truly feel like I am helping people.

How do you get access to this private group?

Simple, you need to buy the premium package of PRO here but I am not telling you this to pitch you anything.

Here’s what’s important.

In the group we have a woman who I believe has done a marvelous job of hacking her exes external belief system.

You see, our girl went through a break up with her ex and he did the thing all idiot men seem to do… he got a new girlfriend.

Of course, this is where things get really interesting.

Her ex is really close to his family. In other words, they are in his sphere of influence and they keep telling him how he made a mistake dating this new girl because she’s always seeming depressed and is kind of mean.

So, without even intending to hack her exes sphere of influence our girl did just that.

She actually has the family actively campaigning for him to break up with his current girlfriend and it seems like he is on the verge of doing so.

In fact, if I was a betting man I would say it’s just a matter of time.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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254 Comments on "Will He Change His Mind And Come Back To Me?"

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Sam
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Hi, My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. Our relationship was slow moving, because I just wasn’t as interested, but he was persistent for over a year, even when I lived far across the world for a short amount of time. For me, once I came back that was the spark to our relationship. The beginning of the relationship was amazing. We took all these trips together and enjoyed always being around each other. We are both currently in college, and once I came back we were both stressed and tended to argue a lot over the weekends… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam

do you want to try the nc rule?

Sam
Guest
Hi, My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. Our relationship was slow moving, because I just wasn’t as interested, but he was persistent for over a year, even when I lived far across the world for a short amount of time. For me, once I came back that was the spark to our relationship. The beginning of the relationship was amazing. We took all these trips together and enjoyed always being around each other. We are both currently in college, and once I came back we were both stressed and tended to argue a lot over the weekends… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam

do you want to try the nc rule?

clemence
Guest
Hi Amor, me again.. Tomorrow it will be 21 days of NC. I haven’t talked to him at all (he didn’t try to contact me either so im not sure he misses me…). As i told you i went to Barcelona for 3 days on my own and posted pictures on FB, I am working full time and nothing to change there as i like my job. I am going shopping tomorrow to update my wardrobe and I have an appointment on tuesday to have my hair cut. Today I decided to go back to my old passion:dancing. I spent… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Clemence,
if you’ve been texting his sisters during nc, extend to 30 days and avoid for that for the mean time because if he finds that out, he might think you’re trying to get him back through his sisters.

clemence
Guest
Hi Amor, me again.. Tomorrow it will be 21 days of NC. I haven’t talked to him at all (he didn’t try to contact me either so im not sure he misses me…). As i told you i went to Barcelona for 3 days on my own and posted pictures on FB, I am working full time and nothing to change there as i like my job. I am going shopping tomorrow to update my wardrobe and I have an appointment on tuesday to have my hair cut. Today I decided to go back to my old passion:dancing. I spent… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Clemence,
if you’ve been texting his sisters during nc, extend to 30 days and avoid for that for the mean time because if he finds that out, he might think you’re trying to get him back through his sisters.

clemence
Guest
I don;t really understand why checking on “dating yourself”… I made the effort to go out with my co-workers last week and put a picture of me on FB with make up on. Then this weekend I went to Barcelona on my own and again posted some pictures of nice landscapes (not too many, but I always do it when im travelling somewhere so nothing new) and I am planning on having a new hair cut next week. I am already doing things for myself and I am still on NC since 15 days now… He hasn’t liked any of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It gives you an idea on what to do and to focus in yourself.. That’s ok if he doesn’t like any of it, as long as you have posts and you keep posting because it establishes that you’re moving on..if your ex has moved on, he will not be friendly with you affer nc if he thinks your chasing..and if he gets curious on why you initiated texting, he will probably check your account, and seeing your posts can help him think that maybe you’re just being friendly

clemence
Guest
I don;t really understand why checking on “dating yourself”… I made the effort to go out with my co-workers last week and put a picture of me on FB with make up on. Then this weekend I went to Barcelona on my own and again posted some pictures of nice landscapes (not too many, but I always do it when im travelling somewhere so nothing new) and I am planning on having a new hair cut next week. I am already doing things for myself and I am still on NC since 15 days now… He hasn’t liked any of… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It gives you an idea on what to do and to focus in yourself.. That’s ok if he doesn’t like any of it, as long as you have posts and you keep posting because it establishes that you’re moving on..if your ex has moved on, he will not be friendly with you affer nc if he thinks your chasing..and if he gets curious on why you initiated texting, he will probably check your account, and seeing your posts can help him think that maybe you’re just being friendly

Clemence
Guest

Sory i don’t know how to repond to your comment Amor…
He wasn’t distant with me since begining of december. He said he has been thinking about his feelings but never was distant with me! He kind of make sure i booked my flights, asking me what i wanted for christmas even though he already got me something etc. He really started being distant straight after christmas…
It’s now been 14 days without news… NC is really hard!

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Clemence
Guest

Sory i don’t know how to repond to your comment Amor…
He wasn’t distant with me since begining of december. He said he has been thinking about his feelings but never was distant with me! He kind of make sure i booked my flights, asking me what i wanted for christmas even though he already got me something etc. He really started being distant straight after christmas…
It’s now been 14 days without news… NC is really hard!

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Inno
Guest
Hi I broke up with my boyfriend 2months back because he wasn’t communicating with me he can just decide to go mute for days and expect me to be cool with that. .that’s where I broke up with him we started to argue about this then he decided to send me a picture of him and some lady claiming she is the new lady. .which is a lie he just wanted to hurt me. I then took the picture I posted it on social media things went from bad to worse I regret posting it i apologised he forgiven me..I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Inno
Guest
Hi I broke up with my boyfriend 2months back because he wasn’t communicating with me he can just decide to go mute for days and expect me to be cool with that. .that’s where I broke up with him we started to argue about this then he decided to send me a picture of him and some lady claiming she is the new lady. .which is a lie he just wanted to hurt me. I then took the picture I posted it on social media things went from bad to worse I regret posting it i apologised he forgiven me..I… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Maria
Guest
Okay here’s my story, Boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. Long story short he’s always had insecurities about me I’ve accomdated my myself to be understanding of him and I’ve never been unfaithful at all, we have been fighting a lot lately and once he was so mad and upset during an argument that he said this relationship is over I just stood there and stayed quiet I knew he said that out of anger and told him to never say that to me unless he means it . One month later he really… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Maria

Do you really want a guy like that? He will continue to get mad and blame you for it, if you’re sure that’s ok with you,then ok, try the nc rule to try to get him back

Maria
Guest
Okay here’s my story, Boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. Long story short he’s always had insecurities about me I’ve accomdated my myself to be understanding of him and I’ve never been unfaithful at all, we have been fighting a lot lately and once he was so mad and upset during an argument that he said this relationship is over I just stood there and stayed quiet I knew he said that out of anger and told him to never say that to me unless he means it . One month later he really… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Maria

Do you really want a guy like that? He will continue to get mad and blame you for it, if you’re sure that’s ok with you,then ok, try the nc rule to try to get him back

clemence
Guest
Hi My boyfriend broke up with me after 6 month of relationship. It might not be long but everything was going well, there were no signs or warning for me to think that he will break up out of the blue like that… We were seing each other once or twice due to our busy jobs and different schedules. We met each other’s family (he even came to France to meet mine at my sister’s birthday). He invited me over for christmas and had lovely 3 days at his moms with his sisters. He also invited me to come to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Clemence,

Actually it wasn’t just one day.. He started being distant since December right? That’s good that you’re in the no contact period.. Do 21-30 days.. check this one:
EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

clemence
Guest
Hi My boyfriend broke up with me after 6 month of relationship. It might not be long but everything was going well, there were no signs or warning for me to think that he will break up out of the blue like that… We were seing each other once or twice due to our busy jobs and different schedules. We met each other’s family (he even came to France to meet mine at my sister’s birthday). He invited me over for christmas and had lovely 3 days at his moms with his sisters. He also invited me to come to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Clemence,

Actually it wasn’t just one day.. He started being distant since December right? That’s good that you’re in the no contact period.. Do 21-30 days.. check this one:
EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

clemence
Guest
Hi, My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months (not a lot i know…) when he broke up with me completely out of the blue! Everything was going really well, we met each other’s family (he even came to France to visit mine). He invited me to his mom’s house for christmas where we spent 3 days together all fine. His family loves me and I had a great connection with his sisters. He also invited me to come to Mexico in April with his family so I booked my tickets 2 weeks before Christmas. We both have very… Read more »
clemence
Guest
Hi, My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months (not a lot i know…) when he broke up with me completely out of the blue! Everything was going really well, we met each other’s family (he even came to France to visit mine). He invited me to his mom’s house for christmas where we spent 3 days together all fine. His family loves me and I had a great connection with his sisters. He also invited me to come to Mexico in April with his family so I booked my tickets 2 weeks before Christmas. We both have very… Read more »
Cleo
Guest
, My boyfriend and I have broken up (he broke it off). We eventually ended it respectfully. He has made clear he doesn’t want to get back together. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship at this moment of his life. He wants to focus on his own development, family and work. He doesn’t want to be with anybody right now (don’t know wether its true or not). However He has told me several times I should move on and he doesn’t want me to wait for him. He offered to be friends but I said thatd be hard… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Cleo,

Through your posts.. by human nature he will miss you because he’s used to talking to you and having you in his life.. so, he probably doesn’t expect to really stick to not talking to him, when he checks your accounts and he sees your posts, he has to see that you’re happy, healthy, improving and moving on in life.. make him regret in that way and attract him in that way too..

Cleo
Guest
, My boyfriend and I have broken up (he broke it off). We eventually ended it respectfully. He has made clear he doesn’t want to get back together. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship at this moment of his life. He wants to focus on his own development, family and work. He doesn’t want to be with anybody right now (don’t know wether its true or not). However He has told me several times I should move on and he doesn’t want me to wait for him. He offered to be friends but I said thatd be hard… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

HI Cleo,

Through your posts.. by human nature he will miss you because he’s used to talking to you and having you in his life.. so, he probably doesn’t expect to really stick to not talking to him, when he checks your accounts and he sees your posts, he has to see that you’re happy, healthy, improving and moving on in life.. make him regret in that way and attract him in that way too..

Ellie
Guest
Hi, My boyfriend broke up with me because he doesn’t feel the same anymore, he doesn’t want a relationship either. He still loves me, thinks I’m beautiful. People have told him he is lucky to have me. So 3 months ago (may) he said he was having doubts about the relationship but then came back a week later and wanted to sort it out. After this things were amazing between us, we had our 2 year anniversary(mid June) he spent so much on me and we had the best time. A month after this we had a few arguments and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Ellie
Guest
Hi, My boyfriend broke up with me because he doesn’t feel the same anymore, he doesn’t want a relationship either. He still loves me, thinks I’m beautiful. People have told him he is lucky to have me. So 3 months ago (may) he said he was having doubts about the relationship but then came back a week later and wanted to sort it out. After this things were amazing between us, we had our 2 year anniversary(mid June) he spent so much on me and we had the best time. A month after this we had a few arguments and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Stacy
Guest
So me and my ex were dating for 2 years and 3months , and he just called me and broke up with me … he continued to text and call me like nothing and I would reply because ofcourse I love him . I don’t see myself with no one else . And though he told me now we aren’t meant to be maybe in the future I would like someone to give me hope that will get back he wrote to me a couple of days and I didn’t reply isn’t been almost 2 weeks since our breakup and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

approach it like he wont.. be an ungettable girl.. do at least 30 days.. dont just be silent and wait.. be proactive.. improve yourself and be active in posting and then slowly rebuild rapport after.. check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Stacy
Guest
So me and my ex were dating for 2 years and 3months , and he just called me and broke up with me … he continued to text and call me like nothing and I would reply because ofcourse I love him . I don’t see myself with no one else . And though he told me now we aren’t meant to be maybe in the future I would like someone to give me hope that will get back he wrote to me a couple of days and I didn’t reply isn’t been almost 2 weeks since our breakup and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

approach it like he wont.. be an ungettable girl.. do at least 30 days.. dont just be silent and wait.. be proactive.. improve yourself and be active in posting and then slowly rebuild rapport after.. check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Tash
Guest

Hi Amor,

Thanks for the advice however is there anything else you can advice me on please? I don’t have the courage to speak to him again, especially after the couple of days. I know he has feelings for me, actions just speak it. It’s rather weird, he told me how beautiful I was the other day and kissed me. I don’t know. Shall I back off, no contact. What shall I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah, take time and have space for yourself..but in that time build courage, because the situation is not going to get better if you dance around it. You have to be clear with him.

Tash
Guest

Hi Amor,

Thanks for the advice however is there anything else you can advice me on please? I don’t have the courage to speak to him again, especially after the couple of days. I know he has feelings for me, actions just speak it. It’s rather weird, he told me how beautiful I was the other day and kissed me. I don’t know. Shall I back off, no contact. What shall I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah, take time and have space for yourself..but in that time build courage, because the situation is not going to get better if you dance around it. You have to be clear with him.

Tash
Guest
Mine is such a long story, going to cut it short. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up in September after 8 years. As I already said before, it was because of his parents not accepting for marriage as I spoke about our culture before. He blocked me, I lost my dignity. Tried no contact many times and failed however in January, I succeeded and in Feb he suggested we meet up for dinner. I had lost a lot of weight, I looked nice, you could tell he was blown away. He told me how depressed he was. He kissed… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
If you’re not officially together, that means your friends with benefits.. he’s already getting what he wants, why would he go back to the hassles of a committed relationship? If you really love yourself, don’t invest too much on someone who’s not willing to do the same for you.. I’m going to be honest.. Let’s say he has feelings for you, then don’t be easy. Make him work for you.. He has to prove his feelings for you because you’re an ungettable girl right? Have a serious talk. Say what you feel and then tell him what you want and… Read more »
Tash
Guest
Mine is such a long story, going to cut it short. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up in September after 8 years. As I already said before, it was because of his parents not accepting for marriage as I spoke about our culture before. He blocked me, I lost my dignity. Tried no contact many times and failed however in January, I succeeded and in Feb he suggested we meet up for dinner. I had lost a lot of weight, I looked nice, you could tell he was blown away. He told me how depressed he was. He kissed… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
If you’re not officially together, that means your friends with benefits.. he’s already getting what he wants, why would he go back to the hassles of a committed relationship? If you really love yourself, don’t invest too much on someone who’s not willing to do the same for you.. I’m going to be honest.. Let’s say he has feelings for you, then don’t be easy. Make him work for you.. He has to prove his feelings for you because you’re an ungettable girl right? Have a serious talk. Say what you feel and then tell him what you want and… Read more »
Claudia
Guest
My bf and I just broke up due to a minor fight but he is seriously infuriated and finds me annoying. I got a full out block from him. I was just thinking whether he would reconsider this relationship despite the fact that he tried to get me out of his life. His parents and relatives like me so much and I have joined many of their family gatherings. Will they influence his thoughts? Thus, we are both the first love and we are young ( I am 18 he is 19). We had wonderful memories tgt but recently we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Claudia
Guest
My bf and I just broke up due to a minor fight but he is seriously infuriated and finds me annoying. I got a full out block from him. I was just thinking whether he would reconsider this relationship despite the fact that he tried to get me out of his life. His parents and relatives like me so much and I have joined many of their family gatherings. Will they influence his thoughts? Thus, we are both the first love and we are young ( I am 18 he is 19). We had wonderful memories tgt but recently we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Jenny
Guest
Hello, I was in a relationship with a guy till 2 years. Then I decided to break up due to some complications in my family. But when he asked for the reason of the breakup then I said I neede FREEDOM. However we were still very good friends, more than friends. It’s complicated, huh? Though he still told he loved me and I used to tell him I will still come back one day. I felt he was trying to keep distance. He started to respond less to my texts. I asked him actually nagged him if he was in… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jenny,

are you going to do the no contact rule?

Jenny
Guest
Hello, I was in a relationship with a guy till 2 years. Then I decided to break up due to some complications in my family. But when he asked for the reason of the breakup then I said I neede FREEDOM. However we were still very good friends, more than friends. It’s complicated, huh? Though he still told he loved me and I used to tell him I will still come back one day. I felt he was trying to keep distance. He started to respond less to my texts. I asked him actually nagged him if he was in… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jenny,

are you going to do the no contact rule?

Jake
Guest

Hi,
My GF of over 4 years has recently come to me and said that we have changed a lot recently due to a few issues and now she wants to go her own way and doesn’t see a future for us. I haven’t been given any hope of making it work nor do I expect her to come straight back to me and change her mind. Could NC possibly help this situation? And if so what is the best way of doing this to win her back?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jake,

Try at least 30 days of nc, be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media, and then initiate contact after to build rapport slowly..

Jake
Guest

Hi,
My GF of over 4 years has recently come to me and said that we have changed a lot recently due to a few issues and now she wants to go her own way and doesn’t see a future for us. I haven’t been given any hope of making it work nor do I expect her to come straight back to me and change her mind. Could NC possibly help this situation? And if so what is the best way of doing this to win her back?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jake,

Try at least 30 days of nc, be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media, and then initiate contact after to build rapport slowly..

Ellie
Guest
So my boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago because he felt he didnt want a relationship and because we had been good friends for a long time, he was hoping we could just be friends again. We didn’t talk for almost a month, during that time I continued to go to the gym (I’m very active), went on holiday and the photos were on social media. when I got back he messaged me to ask how it was, andd we had coffee a few days later. Coffee turned into dinner and a movie, and it felt very much… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ellie,

take it slow..keep improving yourself while slowly rebuilding rappor, even if you already met, start with texting first.

Ellie
Guest

He’s started texting me just to chat and see how I am and we’re meeting next week for coffee. How should I approach this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

the meet up? look your best and leave at high point too.. right now, initiate texts, use interesting topics and be the one to endit at high point. Follow the advice on the links below:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR 043: How To Handle The First Date With Your Ex Boyfriend

Ellie
Guest
So my boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago because he felt he didnt want a relationship and because we had been good friends for a long time, he was hoping we could just be friends again. We didn’t talk for almost a month, during that time I continued to go to the gym (I’m very active), went on holiday and the photos were on social media. when I got back he messaged me to ask how it was, andd we had coffee a few days later. Coffee turned into dinner and a movie, and it felt very much… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ellie,

take it slow..keep improving yourself while slowly rebuilding rappor, even if you already met, start with texting first.

Ellie
Guest

He’s started texting me just to chat and see how I am and we’re meeting next week for coffee. How should I approach this?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

the meet up? look your best and leave at high point too.. right now, initiate texts, use interesting topics and be the one to endit at high point. Follow the advice on the links below:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR 043: How To Handle The First Date With Your Ex Boyfriend

Abigail
Guest
So my boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. It was quite difficult to comprehend simply because everything was going well up until a certain point. His father not only passed away but his sister and brother-in-law moved back in with him and his mom. Since she was a very headstrong person I couldn’t truly get along with her; not to mention I made her extremely agitated (simply for sleeping in the guest room which happened to be her bed before she and her husband moved out). I tried my hardest to get along with her after the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Abigail,

it seems like he broke up with you because he thinks you’re not getting along with his family, and his family matters a lot to him. When did your friend asked him and how much did you improve during the no contact rule?

Abigail
Guest
So my boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. It was quite difficult to comprehend simply because everything was going well up until a certain point. His father not only passed away but his sister and brother-in-law moved back in with him and his mom. Since she was a very headstrong person I couldn’t truly get along with her; not to mention I made her extremely agitated (simply for sleeping in the guest room which happened to be her bed before she and her husband moved out). I tried my hardest to get along with her after the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Abigail,

it seems like he broke up with you because he thinks you’re not getting along with his family, and his family matters a lot to him. When did your friend asked him and how much did you improve during the no contact rule?

Tasmin
Guest
Hi! So my boyfriend and I were together for 5 years. (We began dating when we were 17, we’re both 22 now) He broke up with me 4 weeks ago, because he wanted to focus on his own things and didn’t felt enough motivation to keep up this relationship. (I think it’s because he’s not sure about his own future, we we’re both young when we got together and we never really needed to think about living together ect, but we were both coming to an age where we kinda wanted to get our own place and jobs) He broke… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tasmin,

that’s ok, he doesn’t know how long you’re going to be doing no contact. It’s ok if he doesn’t contact you too, you can initiate after nc. Just be the one ending the conversations at high point.

Tasmin
Guest
Hi! So my boyfriend and I were together for 5 years. (We began dating when we were 17, we’re both 22 now) He broke up with me 4 weeks ago, because he wanted to focus on his own things and didn’t felt enough motivation to keep up this relationship. (I think it’s because he’s not sure about his own future, we we’re both young when we got together and we never really needed to think about living together ect, but we were both coming to an age where we kinda wanted to get our own place and jobs) He broke… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tasmin,

that’s ok, he doesn’t know how long you’re going to be doing no contact. It’s ok if he doesn’t contact you too, you can initiate after nc. Just be the one ending the conversations at high point.

Sheila
Guest
Hi ex-boyfriend recovery team! I need help… My man and I were best friends for close to 2 years before we decided to try for a relationship in december of 2016. We’ve always been amazingly great with each other and share the same sense of humor, principles, morals etc I started thinking that this was it! Until February when he seemed to be more distant after a vacation away. I brought it up to him, asking if what we had was something special or not. After delaying the conversation for days (so unlike us), he tells me that he’s not… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shella,

If he didn’t see you as someone being more than just a friend and you’ve been talking for 2 years, you really need to improve a lot. Date others too, but after nc, it’s too early to pop up suddenly at his place. Rebuild rapport first.

Sheila
Guest
Hi ex-boyfriend recovery team! I need help… My man and I were best friends for close to 2 years before we decided to try for a relationship in december of 2016. We’ve always been amazingly great with each other and share the same sense of humor, principles, morals etc I started thinking that this was it! Until February when he seemed to be more distant after a vacation away. I brought it up to him, asking if what we had was something special or not. After delaying the conversation for days (so unlike us), he tells me that he’s not… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shella,

If he didn’t see you as someone being more than just a friend and you’ve been talking for 2 years, you really need to improve a lot. Date others too, but after nc, it’s too early to pop up suddenly at his place. Rebuild rapport first.

Emily
Guest
Dated my ex in college for a year but we broke up because distance was really hard. He immediately started dating someone after we broke up, they lasted for 3 years. A few months after they broke up we reconnected (by chance). Tried to take it slow but it we jumped back into our old relationship. Which was perfect, never fought, get along great, families were supportive etc. After a few months he was about to go back to grad school (long distance again), I asked if he was ready. It sparked a lot of fear in him. He didn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Emily,

Since November? If you are going to attempt to rebuild rapport, did you improve yourself in the past months and were you active in posting in social media?

Emily
Guest
Dated my ex in college for a year but we broke up because distance was really hard. He immediately started dating someone after we broke up, they lasted for 3 years. A few months after they broke up we reconnected (by chance). Tried to take it slow but it we jumped back into our old relationship. Which was perfect, never fought, get along great, families were supportive etc. After a few months he was about to go back to grad school (long distance again), I asked if he was ready. It sparked a lot of fear in him. He didn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Emily,

Since November? If you are going to attempt to rebuild rapport, did you improve yourself in the past months and were you active in posting in social media?

Kari
Guest
Hi, I’m looking for some advice. My ex broke up with me out of the blue almost 6 weeks ago. Before that he was completely committed. We had a wonderful and healthy relationship for 7 months and he went above and beyond with the little things to show me how much he loved me every day. I had no doubt in my mind how much he loved me. We were even going to move in together in a few months (his idea). The week prior to the break up he was even committing to (expensive and non-refundable) trips for 7-9… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kari,

It looks like he thinks moving in is just another responsibility when he cant even handle his life and he has related you to that.. the thing is you’ve done short NCs already, the more you do nc the less it can help.. So, I think your best chance is to do a 45 days one, take this as a restart, have your own routine and then slowly rebuild rapport after

Kari
Guest
Hi, I’m looking for some advice. My ex broke up with me out of the blue almost 6 weeks ago. Before that he was completely committed. We had a wonderful and healthy relationship for 7 months and he went above and beyond with the little things to show me how much he loved me every day. I had no doubt in my mind how much he loved me. We were even going to move in together in a few months (his idea). The week prior to the break up he was even committing to (expensive and non-refundable) trips for 7-9… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kari,

It looks like he thinks moving in is just another responsibility when he cant even handle his life and he has related you to that.. the thing is you’ve done short NCs already, the more you do nc the less it can help.. So, I think your best chance is to do a 45 days one, take this as a restart, have your own routine and then slowly rebuild rapport after

Ariana
Guest
Hi I would like some advice. This guy and I have been a thing for almost 10 months. Like every relationship there’s been arguments and what not but not very many. About a month a go he became really distant short texts to not texting. I only saw him one time in that month and would ask if he would like to hang out he would always have some excuse. It was weird because we would see each other pretty often and talk all the time. And the day we did see each other it was perfectly fine. Then he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ariana,

If he wants space, give that by doing the no contact rule and by focusing on yourself now. Improve yourself, be more active. Check this:
The Ungettable Girl

Ariana
Guest
Hi I would like some advice. This guy and I have been a thing for almost 10 months. Like every relationship there’s been arguments and what not but not very many. About a month a go he became really distant short texts to not texting. I only saw him one time in that month and would ask if he would like to hang out he would always have some excuse. It was weird because we would see each other pretty often and talk all the time. And the day we did see each other it was perfectly fine. Then he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ariana,

If he wants space, give that by doing the no contact rule and by focusing on yourself now. Improve yourself, be more active. Check this:
The Ungettable Girl

Emily
Guest
Hey! I need some help here. My boyfriend broke up with me on New Year’s. We were together for 1.5 years. We were very in love and we had all sorts of plans for the future. We’ve met each others’ families and both sides are very loving. But he says that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to be single for a while now. Mainly because he said I was controlling and didn’t give him enough space. It’s true that he didn’t get enough space because I met him almost everyday since he got out of army. When he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Emily,

let him be, that’s probably his way of coping how he sees you’re moving on.. Just keep improving yourself and being active in social media so, that he would feel more regret in losing you.

Emily
Guest
Hey! I need some help here. My boyfriend broke up with me on New Year’s. We were together for 1.5 years. We were very in love and we had all sorts of plans for the future. We’ve met each others’ families and both sides are very loving. But he says that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to be single for a while now. Mainly because he said I was controlling and didn’t give him enough space. It’s true that he didn’t get enough space because I met him almost everyday since he got out of army. When he… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Emily,

let him be, that’s probably his way of coping how he sees you’re moving on.. Just keep improving yourself and being active in social media so, that he would feel more regret in losing you.

Sarah
Guest
My exe’s family influenced his decision 100%. When he left for vacation he said he wanted a future and children with me when I asked him. He was even asking surprised why I was asking that. When he came back from vacation he said he talked to his dad and sister about it – and he came to the conclusion he does not love me and was unhappy. And that was it. I asked his best friend to talk to him after 3 weeks to check the situation – he said he does not want me back. I texted his… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sarah,

stop chasing and stop asking your friends to talk him out of it because that will be annoying for him. Are you going to do the no contact rule?

Zona
Guest
Hi. I was with this guy for 3 years and planned to get married. Our relationship was against by his family because of the differences that we had. Just 2 weeks before the wedding he said he didn’t wanna marry me, he said the marriage is not solving any problems, and he said he didn’t want to continue the relationship whatever the excuses. I was very disappointed, feel unloved, and rejected. I knew him very well and i’m sure that’s not the thing that he wanted but his family. Since I love him and I’m sure that our feeling is… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Zona,

how old are you both and the problems that he was talking about, did he mean his family? How much did you improve in the past 30 days and how active were you in posting?