This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

There are many different “signs” that you can look for to know if your ex boyfriend still loves you. This page is going to take an in-depth look at each specific sign and give you an idea on how to proceed if you decide you want your ex boyfriend back. First though, I would be a fool if I didn’t point out that there isn’t an exact science to this. What I mean, is that since we are dealing with a male human being things can be a bit…. unpredictable. So, there may be some rare cases where your ex could exhibit many of the signs below and yet he still might not be interested in you. Don’t worry though, everything that is on this page has been thoroughly researched and is a compilation of many of the best relationship experts advice and findings. While I can’t guarantee anything, I think it is a safe bet to assume that if your ex is doing the things below he is probably interested in you.

BUT FIRST… There’s Something Important You Need To Know

I have been helping men and women get back with their exes for over half a decade and I have learned that most people have preconceived notions when they end up on my site. They think that all they have to do is follow the directions that I give them on the page and they are good to go. Now, while this may hold true in some cases I will say that getting an ex back is usually such a complex process that I can’t explain everything there is to explain in one simple article.

Luckily, I have created an “ultimate resource” for you to follow to not only get your ex back but to understand why they are acting the way they are acting.

All you have to do learn about this resource is to click the button below!

Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...

 

Published June 13, 2013, | Modified November 8, 2016

1 - Two Things You Have To Do First

things

Before we get down to the nitty gritty on how to determine if your ex still likes you there are two things that I need you to accomplish. The first is relatively simple, the second one… not so much.

  1. I want you to take some time and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for wanting your ex boyfriend back. As a general rule, couples who get back together after a break up tend to have really good reasons for doing so. Oh, and I think it is important to mention that couples who successfully reunite with legitimate reasons last longer! Still confused? Don’t be I actually wrote a huge post that defines what a good reason is and will even give you some examples here.
  2. Secondly, I need you to adopt a No Contact Rule. Experts agree that in order to put yourself in a good position to win back your ex boyfriend you need to cut yourself off from them for at least a month. Make no mistake about it, it will be among the hardest things you have ever done. There will be a constant temptation to call them, email them or text them. Whatever happens make sure you DO NOT DO IT.

(If you want more in-depth help with these two things you can find it here.)

Now, I bet you are wondering what any of this has to do with figuring out if your ex boyfriend still misses you, I assure you it is really important.

2 - The Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Still Likes You

he loves me

Ok, no matter who broke up with who, how bad the break up was or how much you think he hates you I can assure you one thing… he is thinking about you. Did you know that 81% of people still think about their exes too much? What’s worse is that nearly 90% of Facebook users still look up their ex. So, I think it is safe to assume that you on your exes mind more than you think you are. The real question is, is he thinking positive or negative things about you? At least that is what you are wondering. Obviously, you want your ex to be thinking very positive thoughts when it comes to you as it will make getting him back a lot easier. With that being said, even if your ex thinks you are the anti-christ there are certain things you can do to change his mind. Besides, right after a breakup both parties are angry at each other so there isn’t much positive karma going around is there?

That is where the no contact rule comes in play. I can pretty much guarantee that your ex won’t be having any positive love thoughts about you a few days after your breakup (especially if YOU broke up with him.) By implementing a no contact rule you are doing two things.

  1. First, you are giving him and you time to calm down and get your wits about you.
  2. Secondly, he is going to wonder why you haven’t tried to call or text him to check up (like he thinks you are supposed to do)

Which leads us to our first sign…

3 - Sign 1- If He Calls, Texts or Messages You

texting

We already know that he is thinking about you but if he actually takes the time to text message you or call you then you should feel really good about yourself because he is definitely showing interest. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that all your troubles are over and you can run back into his arms and the world will rejoice. Let’s be honest here, just because he text messaged you doesn’t mean that he wants you back but it is definitely a sign pointing in the right direction. If you are staying true to the NC Rule (No Contact Rule) then you greatly increase your chances of having him contact you in some way. The only thing is you can’t contact him back which is explained if you read my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

4 - Sign 2- Does He Keep An Eye On You?

im-watching-you

While you are supposed to be avoiding your ex both physically and mentally for 30 days there are certain cases where it is impossible to do so. If you notice that your boyfriend keeps popping up in places that you frequent then this is a definite sign that he still has feelings for you. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that sometimes it can just be a coincidence that they are at the same place that you are. However, I would say  that if you notice them “being around” at least three times then that is a definite pattern.

 

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

5 - Sign 3- Do You Get A Reaction?

react

As you know, I am pushing the NC rule pretty darn hard. However, I am not naive. I know how relationships work and I know that the majority of women reading this will not be able to hold out for 30 days. So, in the event that you break down one of the best ways you can determine if he still has those deep feelings for you is watching how he reacts when he sees you. This can be a little tricky to determine but I will go ahead and give you some things to watch for.

  • Does his face light up?
  • Does he sneak looks at you when he thinks your not looking?
  • If he talks really fast that is a good sign as well.
  • Looking into your eyes for a long period of time is a good sign too.

6 - Sign 4- Does He Keep In Touch With Friends & Family?

family

Ex boyfriends who are possibly interested in getting back together will keep in touch with your friends or family. This sign especially rings true if you are deep into your no contact. If you aren’t picking up your phone they are going to reach out to friends or family to see how you are. If you want them back then this is a very good sign. Of course, there are some cases where an ex will keep in touch with your family just to annoy you but you can usually tell in those cases.

7 - Sign 5- Touching

200264715-001

I may lose some man points for this but one of my favorite movies to watch is Hitch (where Will Smith basically plays a love doctor.) There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where he points out that one of the signs that a woman will show, if she is interested in a guy, is touching. Well, the same can be applied to men. If you see your ex and he is maintaining some type of physical contact like touching your arm, hand, knee, leg that is a really good sign.

8 - What To Do After You Have Figured Out He Still Loves You

So, he showed some of the signs above eh? Well, now you have a decision to make. Do you want to try and get him back or do you want to move on? Since this is a website specifically for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back I can tell you that there is so much information on this site for FREE that you will be blown away. However, not all of the information is going to give you 100% of everything you need. It is for that reason that I am highly recommending you to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. It is really a true “step by step” method to winning back your ex boyfriends heart. Other than that I hope you enjoy this site and find everything you are looking for.

 

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (1,249)

  1. Bekka - 0

    Bekka

    So my ex and I have been split up for about 4 years. There was a large amount of time that we did not talk. We actually live 18 hours apart. I’ve spoken to him a few times in the last year. I’m still not sure what the reason for us splitting up was, I guess I don’t really care. I love him more then life, our conversation are positive and he is always encouraging when we talk. My heart was so broken when we split up and the last 4 years I’ve thought about him every day, cried about the good and bad times together and been sick over trying to figure out if the happy will come back. Life isn’t bad but I notice the last few times we’ve talked my heart feels light again and I still cry but they are more happy tears. He makes life better again, he doesn’t even have to say much, just a simple hey how’s your day or what you doing can change the worst day into something only describe as a gift from God. My question is do I just jump back in or just let him go?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Bekka,
      when was the last time you talked? Does he know you still have feelings for him? How old are you both? How long was the relationship before?

  2. Eunice - 0

    Eunice

    I met my ex at the mall while i was applying for a job. He works in my one of the stores at the mall. Now at the time i was with my friend who also works at one of the stores at the mall. So he asked her for my number but i did not have a phone at the time. 2 weeks pass and got a phone n started texting him so we texted for 4 days. Before we saw each other again. I went to hang out with him abd his friends and friends gf at his house. He had been drinking and i had not drank anything. So one thing lead to another and we had sex. i was a virgin the next day when text ed him he was acting funny so i ignored him. when i went to the mall the next day to met my friend there. He just looked at me and turned the other way. i texted him we got ibtoba fight n he den told me that he felt bad how he behavioured but does not regret what happened. My friend that set us up sent him a messafe telling him what a bad person he is. He goy angry and He then suggested we be friends i ddnt want to so we stopped contacting each other. a day later he calls me to tell me that my friend is bad mouthing him at work. we have been talking ever since but i always start the conversation and make a effort during the conversation so what should i do? and does he still like me?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Eunice
      did your friend stopped bad mouthing him? Dont sleep with him again.. Are your conversations always positive?

  3. jayda - 0

    jayda

    I am confused weather my ex wants to get back to togerther with me or doesnt want anything to do with me beacause i texted him like a few weeks atfer he broke up with me and the text pretty much said y did u break up with me i still dont understand then he said i wasnt showing affections but thats was because i woul never see him because we have different classes in college so it was hard to see him then i said i guess we will never get back together again and he said that not true so i guess thats means we will get back to togethwr but not right now and then one day somethi ng bad happened this boy told me he liked me and he smiles and me ,and touches me ,and hug me ,we are best freineds but the question i have is Does he really like me ? like he say he does

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jayda,

      Regarding your ex, just assume you’re broken and that he’s just being nice with his reply.. With the new guy.. If you’re not sure about his feelings then take it slow

    • Jayda - 0

      Jayda

      U said to take it slow ? how ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Don’t jump into a relationship, or being friends with benefits.. Just be friendly for now. Spend time and observe him..

  4. Jessica - 0

    Jessica

    So my ex broke up with me a day before our 1 year anniversary. Before that I saw he followed some girl on ig. We made a deal not to follow our opposite sex. So I was very confused when I saw. The day after I confront him about her if he’s talking to her or w.e… I never got a response. I as a crazy ex gf did my investigation and saw that he was talking to that girl. To me it looks like he met her liked her or something and before he could cheat he broke up with me. But the thing is that it happened out of nowhere I didn’t see it coming. Yeah we have our fights and stuff but we always get through it. We have hanged out like 3 tines after that every time I ask him why his answers are different. But what he always says is that he was getting to stressed. But that he still loves me he likes her. He told me I couldn’t be with another guy. That if I wanted to have sex to call him. He suggested we stayed friends, more like fuck buddies. He had good bye sex I guess you can say but we didn’t actually stay to it lol. He came by my house a day ago to get his umbrella. When he saw me he told me why I had no bra on I told him cause I’m at my house. He later kept trying to get a hug out of him. I didn’t. I’m in this situation not knowing if I should let him go, be friends. He says he doesn’t want to lose his bestfriend

    Reply
  5. Stella - 0

    Stella

    hi,
    my ex broke up with me because I lend his phone and promising to bring it back after four days. I was very busy that I called him telling him I will not b able to bring it on day four rather I will bring it on day five,he got upset and with that I have to leave what I was doing and went straight outta to his house…when I got there, he was trying to be playful but I really got pissed off about his actions earlier. I left his house been pissed .when I got home he called me if I was coming over the next day to do his laundry and I said no and hang up…months past he did not call me and vise versa….. on my birthday I was expecting him to call me but he didn’t rather he sent a text that I know it wasn’t from his heart…..3 months plus,he called saying he was not feeling better da I should come but I told him I was very busy with my school stuff that later in the day I will show up but he went ahead saying If I can’t come now that I should not bother coming again that he was going out….I went to his house to see him but I found a new girl his dating…that broke my heart the more because he was the guy that disvirgin me.,…I call him and ask him who d girl was and the told me THAT’S MY NEW LOVE ” and he has moved on..I still love this guy like crazy….. what should I do ??? I know he still has d feelings but decided to move on…I want him back

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Stella,

      we don’t advise going back to abusive relationships. He’s disrespectful. Love doesn’t treat you the way he treated you.

  6. Jessica - 0

    Jessica

    My ex and I were together for 3 years and lived together 2 of those 3 years. We made each other so happy and he always went out of his way with surprises for me and also did important stuff like helping me find my father etc. It was like a fairy tale sometimes and other times it we made a great team on handling responsibilities. His family ended up being so close to me after the breakup and still are.
    When we broke up, we both were broken hearted about it but realized we were so young (24) that we needed to experience other things. Now here we are on and off seeing each other as friends for 12 years.
    He confessed to me that it was destiny for us to be together and I confessed to him. Even our friends and family see this and love us together. He likes my daughter even though it’s not his. We are getting so close, but he is scared of commitment. What do I do? He said he only wants to date me and no one else.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jessica,

      you’ve been on and off for 12 years now? If he doesn’t want to date anybody else, why doesn’t he want to commit?

  7. SHAYLA - 0

    SHAYLA

    I only known this guy for 2 weeks but we talked days/nights non-stop and spent a lot of time together, we had sex twice. The chemistry was amazing and totally clicked. He is cancer sign and super sensitive type.
    So I got freaked out and told him I am scared cause we are moving to fast and afraid I might get hurt since I just recently got off from a long distance relationship (about 2 months ago). He got really mad and said I kinda gave up on us and we barely even started the relationship then he wrote take care. Since then he cut me off from Facebook, would not respond to my text or messages, even blocked me on Facebook. I tried texting and calling fro 3 days straight but he would not answer me. I am not sure what to do at this point, and I miss him badly. Any advice would help? my heart is broken

    Reply
    • SHAYLA - 0

      SHAYLA

      PS: I basically called it off with him and asked if we can just be friends but I realized I made a mistake and want to explain it to him.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Shayla

      give him space.. Try doing a 1 or 2 week nc

  8. C.M. - 0

    C.M.

    Hi,
    So for 1 and a 1/2 years I had an off and on relationship with my ex, but it never was officially exclusive because we were in two different places in our lives so we just dated here and there. During our off periods he would get with a random girl then come crawling back to me a couple of weeks later while I would be working on my career and finishing school. He was with a total amount of about 8 girls in between everything and he would never go out with any of them, but he was someone who I could talk to and I did not know what was going on during these periods of times until later. Even though I was slightly suspicious I wasn’t clearly looking for anything official at that moment so it didn’t bother me. Things would get weird here and there where it seemed like we were official and he would get a grin on his face and point it out which made both of us retreat. We both had a lot of pride. So about a year after being in this complex equation I realized he hadn’t text me in a couple of weeks and found out he was in what seemed to be a really happy relationship. I got a little bit jealous, but then I realized it was really nice to see him really happy. A week after that though they broke up and I had found out a couple weeks before he was asking my friends how I was doing. So then after that he became really cold to me. He text me one night claiming he never wanted to see me ever again and that he was moving on with his life. Mind you I hadn’t talked to him in over a month. So I told him I was happy with his decision and I would be moving forward with my life too. All seemed well until he started talking about me foully to every mutual friend we had. I went on with my life and about a month after I got a text and a FaceTime call from him telling me he wishes he would have dated me, that he missed me and started talking about the future of us possibly getting married then he told me he loved me. I looked straight at him and confessed that I didn’t love him because I didn’t know him that well and time would tell the rest. I know it was cold the way I said it but I didn’t understand why he was saying it to me when a month before he said we would never officially date because we were two completely different people. So we stopped contact again and started dating a month later. Things were going better than ever with us before and we were spending more time together. Plus I had found out a friend of mine had been being harassed by him because he noticed I spent more time with the friend than he did with me and I text him more than I text him. It was only because our families were friends though. Our happy days lasted three months until about a week went by and he wasn’t answering any of my texts or calls so I resorted to really getting down to the bottom of it and I found out that he was seeing someone else to try to make me jealous so hurt I decided to lie to him on Valentine’s Day when he text me that I was no longer single and I did not wish to continue whatever we had going on. I then proceeded to go on a date right after with someone else which didn’t end well because we were not compatible. I met up with him to give him his birthday present I had spent a lot of money on and vowed to myself I would never be linked to him again. I kept my NC and after two weeks he text me in complete denial of me seeing other people and everything then continued to talk bad about me to everyone I knew that he knew I was friends with. All of his talk came back to me and put me with a terrible taste in my mouth. I kept myself completely single while I traveled to Asia and around the US and finished up the semester. Then as I was moving ten states away 7 months later I met the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life who is now my best friend, my boyfriend, and my business partner. He continues to teach me so much about love and life every day and all I get asked is if he has a brother because of how chivalrous and amazing he is towards me. We started dating and then became official while I was moving. All during this my ex enlisted in the military and dated over 5 different girls. Everything was going great in my LDR and it was shortly going to be a live in relationship while I started getting texts of screenshots of my ex blasting me all over the internet. It became really bad so we continued to ignore it and one day I got a snapchat from none other than him asking me how I was. Mind you I hadn’t talked to this guy in over a year. I sent him best of luck to being deployed and had a little conversation with him. I also sent him a picture of my boyfriend and I on our last trip so then I got a huge reply asking why I never told him I was moving and all of that and not saying a word about my relationship. Later finding out he was posting all over online that it was unfair how the girl he wanted was happy in a relationship. As I’m happily focusing on the positive and tuning out the negative there’s all these allegations about me from him online. At this point my boyfriend tried to get involved because of how bad it got and I told him not to because I knew he wanted a reaction. 9 months went by and I get another message so I wrote the most honest, heartfelt letter to him and we agreed we taught each other a lot. I did this with my boyfriends knowledge to not cross lines and my relationship got stronger and stronger within time. I am so happy with my boyfriend because even though everything isn’t perfect we make each other better people overall and we’ve learned a lot about everything together. The only issue is here I’m still sitting here and I thought everything would be fine but my ex’s page has become a diss page and I don’t understand because he’s been with so many girls after me. What do I do? Can I do anything? I listened to the NC rule and it backfired once I moved on.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi CM,

      you cant control other people.. Why not ask your ex why he’s doing it? Other than that, you just have to move on.. If he didnt respond well to your question, then you just have to cut all ties with him and move on

  9. Katee - 0

    Katee

    Hiya,

    I just need some advice. My bf and I were dating for nearly 6 years (about 2 years ago, he had broken up with me cause of family pressure and I went crazy running after him but when I stopped he came back to me after a few months) and we’ve been strong ever since! About a month or two ago, we started to argue a little more than usual (were normally a really good in sync calm couple) and started to be weird with each other and he started to text me less and even stopped texting me for a whole week cause he needed ‘space’ (which I gave him) and then all of a sudden he said he wants to end it and said it’s cause he doesn’t love me anymore.. and I just don’t believe it, I can still feel he loves me. When he broke up with me, i did not beg him or run after him or anything this time around. I’ve been applying the NC rule for about 15 days now, on day 7 of the NC rule he accidentally liked something of mine on social media and on day 12 of the NC rule he texted me (it was a nice text, asking me how I am and said I didn’t have to reply to his msg and that he just wanted to text me) and I did not reply..

    Did I do the right thing? Should I have replied? What should I do differently? Do I have a chance to get him back? How many days of the NC rule should I apply? Am I on the right track?

    Please help! Thank you in advance xx

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Katee,

      I think you should do 30 days.. Yes, that’s right that you didn’t reply to him and if you are actively improving yourself, you’re on the right track

  10. Priya - 0

    Priya

    I had a relationship with a cancer man who loved me alot and we wer in a long distnc relatnshp bfr that we wer in the same city and wer best frnds.. wen I moved this relationship started and then fr 1 yr 10 mnths we met few times n talked on phone but not much.. n he was pretty sure of us.. more than me he used to talk about our future but wen I came back I became insecure n he seemed casual but still used to talk about our future.. for 5 months I kept on reacting that he needs to rethink whethr is he sure but he didn’t react much n wenevr we met he showed that he wants us to be together in future but unfortunately I wanted him to spend time with me go out with me bcz we couldn’t share those moments because of long distance so I used to react alot and used to feel insecure.. so one day in aggression I wrote a mail n told him to rethink I can’t take it this way if u don’t feel like spending time with me then what’s the point… n aftr that when I called him he said that I don’t want to think about any relationshp and don’t message me again.. n then aftr a week wen I messaged him asking him to meet me once he said that ok we wil n said that we will be friends so that we can work properly.. n then wen we met I couldn’t talk about the fights instead I just talked to him casually.. n then when again I asked him he said no I can’t think of a relationship. N still he used to call me up and asked me to meet.. its been two months he broke up and still it feels that he does feel for me but he is not ready to accept.. infact wen we talk on messages he replies nicely like a friend and wen I asked him to meet me he said I will be busy so I won’t be able to and then wen I told him that i don’t know what’s there on your end but I m falling for u more.. then he responded okay I will meet u in the morning.. but again bcz of his work he couldnot.. n since last one week we haven’t talked.. one week is just okay with me bcz being In a relationship also sometimes we used to talk after a gap of 10 days.. please tell me what should I do.. I think that he still think of us but just not ready to invest his time in a relationship… what is ur view and advice me …

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Priya,

      I just want to make it clear first, he used to ask you before to be in a relationship with him but you dont want to because for you, you havent spent much time together?

      And now, you’re the one asking but he doesnt want to anymore?

  11. San - 0

    San

    Hi……my ex boyfriend and i dated a year ago we broke up and 6months later he came back we dated for 5months and he broke up saying am too disrespectful and nagging.I made the mistake of begging later i started NC he called m sure other was a mistake becuz texted him that i saw his miss cal wassup but he didn’t reply.As we broke up as i begged he told me he has move on.Presently i restarted the nc don’t know if i have a chance with him again.I am 21 and he is 28…..Please advice me

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi San,
      the best you can do right now is to make the most of this second nc in improving yourself and making it look like you’re moving on..

  12. Isabel - 0

    Isabel

    Hi, I’m not native english speaking (I’m from Switzerland) so I may have some errors in this text… I’m sorry for that.
    So my ex broke up 4 months ago. I stayed a weekend at his house and went with him for dinner to his grandmother on sunnday (on his invitation). I noticed the whole weekend that he acted odd… kind of. Like he didn’t look at me often during the evenin at saturday (we had a grillparty with friends) and he didn’t talk too much with me or his friends… not in an antisocial way but he’s normally very very open so it was still odd. So at the end of that weekend he drove me home from his grandmothers house and kissed me in the car (not as good as normally) and drove home. In the evening I asked if he was now finished with the cleaning of the house (I helped of course to do most of it) but he has a very picky mother so it kind of became a running gag. He answered really short and wished good night but not still not as nice as usual. So I asked him if everything was right between us and he said he doesen’t know and that he has some problems at work at the moment and that he’s a bit confused… so we said that we meet on friday to talk about it cause he thoght it would be to impersonal over texting. On friday he told me he just didn’t want a girlfriend at the time cause he wanted to spend his time with his friends and wanted to find out who he really was himself (spending his time with his friends because he just finished his apprenticeship and has to go to the militay… which is very time intensive). Between my crying we had sometimes fun at this conversatio which is kind of cruel I guess… and between he sad he may wants to get back togther after some time (about 6 moths) which is also a little cruel cause… who the hell does this??
    On that very evening of this conversation he tried to call me twice, but I didn’t hear it and didn’t pick up. In the morning I texted him why he’d call me… I didn’t get an answer ever and that was the last contact we had… exept that I talked with three of his closer friends on a party but not about him.

    I kind of feel like I just was the first thing he cut out of his life when he hadn’t much time on his hands. Now my question is does it even make sence that I want him back? I mean our relationship was the best I’ve ever had I’ve never done this much stuff with anyone and we never had a serious argument ever, but it kind of scares me that if we get back together and we sometime have not much time for each other (what certainly will happen… I’m going to study and have to focus on education from time to time) he will break up again. Or maybe he just played me as he said he wanted to get back together later… what would be evil as fuck cause he talked about that one hour.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Isabel,

      He probably just said that, in hopes that in 6 months you would have moved on and not want to get back with him yourself.

  13. Layla - 0

    Layla

    Hi,
    So my first ever bf brokeup with me through a text 1 day before school started. A week later he sent me a text and we had a pretty normal conversation up to the point were he asked me if I looked any1 I said no. He then told me that he still liked me, but before he could ask me to get back together with him I told him to stop cuz I couldn’t do that again (PS for a really long time I had mixed feelings I wanted to pinchhim kiss him ect). We dint talk for about a week were I texted him saying that I really needed to talk to him but not throughout a text I needed to see him. He responded by saying that he had nothing to say to me and that if it wasn’t for me we would still be together. When I asked him what I did wrong he avoided the question and said that whenever he would call me pretty or well just anything nice I would symplie respond with a aww or a me too. I told him that I did that beacous I was scared (I was scared of making promises I couldn’t keep cuz he made a lot that he didn’t like how we would still be friends after we broke up ect while all the promesisi made I kept but I didn’t tell him taht part). He ended the conversation by saying that this was all!a waste of his time and I replied by saying that if that was how he felt then I didn’t want to waste anymore and that this was the last time I would say this but goodbye. We didn’t talk for a while and whenever we saw each other he would lower his head and wouldn’t look at me. Like a Mont after that happens we wore our sweaters that are the same color on the same day by accident, and the hole day when he thought I wasn’t looking he looked at me and smiled when lunch ended he walked throughtthe little path that me and my friends sit in and looked at me but i dint look back (usually he takes the other path). Even though he usually takes his sweaters off during the midle of the dayhe dint take it off all day. The next day even thought we were wearing completely different things he did the same thing. (If it helps the reasons I would be scared to get back together with him is beacous I don’t wanna be another 1 of those couples that breakup and get back together and if I got back with him his sister would hate me and not to mention she’s in my grade while he’s a year older than me. And I am also on the same buss as him every friday but we don’t talk or even look ate each other).

    Reply
    • Layla - 0

      Layla

      If I liked any1*
      I wanted to punch him kiss him ect*
      Cuz he made a lot of those*
      Like how he promised we would still be friends once we broke up*
      While all the promesis I made*
      This was all a*
      Like a month after that happened*
      He walked through the*
      Look at each other*

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi layla,

      so, do you reallt want to be back together or not?

    • Layla - 0

      Layla

      Its just that whenever I look at him I just get all of this deferent feeling’s and no matter how hard I try I just can’t get over him.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      So, you want to move on but whenever you see him, all the feelings come back? hmm… check this one:
      How To Get Over An Ex Boyfriend When You’re Still In Love With Him

  14. Rivea - 0

    Rivea

    Hi. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up in May and we have been having sex on and off for the past 5 months. I still love him like a lot… and I don’t know I really deep down think he loves but but I don’t know if I’ve given each of us enough time to realize it. Like, we broke up in the first place because of simple little things that he just thought he couldn’t do as a boyfriend. And I’m worried when he says that he doesn’t feel the same way I do, that he means that he actually just is kind of freaked out by the whole thing. Because honestly, it was a bad time in my life and I was a little insecure and kind of crazy. I’m different and I think we could work but I don’t know how to go about it. He still asks me to hangout all the time and when we do we talk about everything we used to when we were in a relationship. PS he hasn’t been with anyone else, or likes anyone else… but I have. And me still loving him is ruining all of my chances at finding a relationship again

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Rivea,

      dont sleep with him again, because if you’re not yet friends with benefits in his mind, you will be if you sleep with him again..do you want yo try the no contact rule first?

  15. Sam - 0

    Sam

    Hi,
    Me and my ex broke up a few weeks ago and we have been on and off with talking and hanging out. He told me that he still misses me and loves me but is adamant about not getting back together. Last week he told me to stop talking to him, so I did and then a few days later he texted me asking if im okay. I don’t understand what to do. Yesterday I asked him if he wants us to just try to be together again and he said no and I got angry and stopped texting him. I do not understand him. What should i do? i still love him and I want to be with him.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi sam,

      are you ready to stick to no contact rule this time and focus in improving yourself?

  16. Ace - 0

    Ace

    Hi, so after my ex sent only pics to me on the app and said nothing else about a week later he texts me with words this time lol about 10 texts. I didn’t reply but I did open the msgs and he would be able to see that I did. In the texts he was basically asking me to talk to him and he also said he changed (mind you he broke up with me) at the same time trying to be funny and saying he knew that made me laugh. What do you make of that? And should he actually say he wants me back what do I do and say? I wouldn’t want to reply just as he says he wants me back as if I was just waiting for him to say that, let me know what you think. I’m day 19 of nc.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if he says he wants you back, you can break it but most of the time, they just say that and then they take it back because he say he just missed you but not ready to be with you again.

  17. Anastasia - 0

    Anastasia

    Hi
    I am curious to know where my ex is at and would love your feedback. He broke up with me a few months ago. It has been a roller coaster relationship, but I have also had the most wonderful times of my life. We met dancing (partnered dancing) and we shared an amazing connection on the dance floor. People loved watching us dance together. Anyway, after the last break up a few months ago. He told me to not contact me again. The he contacted me asking for his (dancing) jacket he gave me years ago. He collected it.
    About a week ago I messaged him and he was rejecting, he told me the only reason he wanted me to contact him was if I was going to dancing so he knew not to go. He hadnt been to dancing for nearly 3 months. A month when we were together and then 3 months we were apart. I couldnt dance due to injuries.
    I told him in a message, my leg was better so I planned to go to all the dance parties.
    I returned to to dance for the first time in months last night. I put it on facebook. I gathered he could see, although has blocked me, there are ways. I wasnt going to message to tell him I’m going. One message was enough.
    He turned up.
    He didnt not approach me, he did not say hello. It was rather awkward. A close male friend of mine said he was going over to him to speak to him about it. I said no. I though the whole scenario was childish, I said I’d go. I went over in a playful way, dancing. We shared eye contact and his eyes softened and smiled for a brief moment. Then he changed and said “What are you doing”…
    Following that he was rejecting towards me and became angry.
    I touched the side of his arm, wished him well and walked away.

    He looked angry and after that he didn’t stay long.

    I am confused about where he is at. Did he show up because I was there? If so, why did he behave that way? He was happy for a brief moment, but then stopped and told me he wasn’t going to engage with me.
    Did he really want his jacket (it’s an old hoodie) , or was it an opportunity to speak to me and to come to my place?

    I am feeling confused and rejected right now. I am perplexed by the whole situation.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Anastacia,

      It looks like he was there because you were there, but he acted like he was pissed at you.. Why did you break up?

  18. kate - 0

    kate

    Hi me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. His reason for the breakup was that i was clingy. After we broke up i didnt apply the no contact rule because he was my first boyfriend, we dated for two years , we were now at a point in our relationship where he actually proposed marriage to me and we have known each other for four years, so it was pretty hard for me to stay away from him. Immediately after our breakup i wished him luck on finding someone better than me and he said ‘ noone else will ever have me’ , i was a bit confused by that statement. I kept texting him , sometimes he would answer wth excitement and sometimes he just didnt answer. Two weeks after we broke he said we should set a date to meet up and talk and i did. When the date came i asked him if he was still up for it and he said ‘sorry no’. Our relationship was a long distance one. I would like to know do you think there is a chance he might still love me and would maybe want me back in the future because the way he is acting now is like he never loved me .

    Reply
  19. emily - 0

    emily

    Hi ! i hope you’re doing fine . Well everything was amazing with him since january then he stopped talking with me slowly ( like it was an off relationship but only for him cause i was always waiting for him , like he was online talking with whoever he wants , blocking my number not answering my msgs .. ) i was losing my mind of course but told him nothing ! then in we met in like september he told me that im still his girlfriend i was like WHAT ? anyways ! we met in the university we’re having two classes together ! in the first day we talked like normally then later that day he broke up with me with a sweet sms telling me he will always love me but we’re done its not gonna work anymore for now ! then he was avoiding me or just saying hi hi in the university ! Yesterday he came to me and hugged me we stayed together and i told him that i wanna tell him everything ( about some pictures of some girls .. ) on the road we were having sooo much fun he even held my hand while crossing the road ! this telepathy we have stronger THAN EVER now ! we were touching each other having fun like always ! he told me that he still love me but he just thought about us and like it will not work ! he told me that he had his own reasons ( till now i dont have a serious reason ) he was like do you remember that day walking under the rain , that weather we love … ME AND HIM yesterday LIKE JUST NOTHING HAPPENED and he was aware of it he told me oh god everything is still good between us cause normally when a couple break up they take their seperate ways but not in our case … and he told me that he knows that he didnt lose me as a person ! i showed him everything he was like why you didnt tell me before … and he also asked me to get over it and to LET GO ! At the same time everytime i see him i see that sparkle in his eyes , i mean you can drown in his eyes . we both get speechless sometimes , we both keep just staring into each others eyes for a while even when we talk we keep staring !But he doesnt text since that break up msg doesnt answer my calls we dont talk on the social media . soo please does he still love me like he said ? and why he would break up with me while everything was perfect and it was a selfish decision ?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Emily,

      I dont understand.. he ignored you since January? onstead of believing in his words when his actions doesn’t match up, try doing the no contact rule.. how long were you together?

    • emily - 0

      emily

      oh no ! we were together since january but he started ignoring me since august :/

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Oh ok.. do you want to do the no contact rule? if yes, I think you should do at least 45 days..

  20. Ace - 0

    Ace

    Hi Amor

    I’m currently 15 days no contact, my ex has tried to contact me a couple times during this time by whatsapp and normal texting however I haven’t broken no contact. A couple days ago he used another social media app to send me some pics he took of me when we were together and has said nothing since. I was wondering if he was just testing to see if he could get through to me using this medium but why wouldn’t he say anything else. What do I make of it?

    Reply
    • Ace - 0

      Ace

      What do *u make of it?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Ace,

      he probably didn’t say anything else because he was just testing if you would answer him..

  21. Veronica - 0

    Veronica

    hi its veronica and so me and this boy we broke up and we have a chat group on Instagram and everyone talks about me and him. and whenever he see’s me he always stares at me and i see him doing that

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Veronica,
      So, what’s your plan and what’s your question? How old are you both and how long were you together?

  22. Miranda - 0

    Miranda

    My ex and I have been together for a little over a year. Our relationship has been great especially in the last few months. I did move in with him a little too fast due to not having anywhere else to go, but we got used to it very fast and then it felt natural. Things in life were obviously going on during our relationship. His mother was sick and in the hospital and passed away 3 months ago. Anyway, he has said that I’m the only girl he’s had this much of a connection and chemistry with, and he’s never been this in love(you know, all the mushy stuff). The break up was very sudden and out of no where. He said he was doing it to have time to think about what he should do with his life, and I would be able to figure out mine without us being together all of the time. He said he needed to be alone for a while especially since his mom just passed. I asked if this would be permanent, and he doesn’t know and he’s confused. After the break up I went to another state to live with my mother, and he went to Australia to visit his cousin. It’s been about three weeks since we’ve seen each other. The problem is we have been talking so we couldn’t do nc. I mostly just say things to help him cheer up a little and support him because he’s still very lost and depressed over the loss of his mother. He literally has no one else to go to for that. When it’s not that he tries to be flirty then says he doesn’t want to mess with our heads but he can’t help himself. Then he says that this situation sucks a lot and it hurts since we left on good terms. Then he would say things like breaking up with me was unfair to the both of us. At first I would ask why he would put both of us through that pain, and he would say he thought it was right but he doesn’t know. He’s clearly very confused. I love him very much and want everything we had back.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Miranda,

      so, you’re friendzoned? doesnt his cousin’s family give emotional support? how long do you plan to be there for him emotionally?

    • Miranda - 0

      Miranda

      I wouldn’t say friendzoned, but I don’t really know. He doesn’t have that type of relationship with that side of his family. They’re very dismissive of other people’s feelings unless it has to do with them. I plan to be there as long as he needs it, even if he decides that he doesn’t want to get back into a relationship with me. I don’t want him to feel like he’s been abandoned. I mean he wasn’t just a boyfirend, he was my best friend too, so I can’t just do that to him.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Ok.. I respect that.. That means you already know what to do right?

  23. Amy - 0

    Amy

    Okay so me and my ex have been broken up for over 2 months now. We broke up on ” good terms” almost too good to be honest. He broke up with me because he wanted to live his life now single and grow as a person. He stated that it had nothing to do with me, that he just wasn’t ready to fully commit at the age of 21. Which I understand but also we had zero problems. We never argued, or anything. We have an unbelievable connection. He told me he believed our paths would cross again,We dated for over a year.I have done the NC rule for about 35 days now. However im not sure if it count because no we didn’t call or text but he still would favorite tweets for me to read, and I would fav some back too. He made an attempt to make me jealous by fav another girl tweet he had a past with, knowing I would see it. I of course decided to unfollow him on all social media, it just didn’t feel healthy. He broke up with me but still has all these expections of me to still be loyal and dress appropriate. I unfollowed him and he didn’t for a whole week, I was quite surprised honestly. He even went back and unfaved the girls tweet he tried to make me mad with. Over the weekend he finally unfollowed me, I check his page at 4 am and he faved a tweet saying “don’t change on me”. He actually goes out of his way and types in tweets he is wanting to express and finds them. like he goes out of the way to get a message acrossto me. then that morning around 10 am he unfavorited and unfollowed me on everything. His last fav tweet to me 2 days ago is ” never regret anything, because it was exactly what you wanted at onetime.” I just do not understand… It is obvious we both still care so much. I guess my question is why does he go out of his way to still send me messages of what he is thinking.We have not texted or called eachother! I refuse to text him first, I know he is sitting there waiting for me too. i am not sure why this bothers me so much.. I am stuck between thinking he really cares and misses me to he is just trying to play games with me. keep me on a string. ( me and his mom still communicate almost everyday) Like this guy cried multiple times over me. I don’t understand why he wont get his head out of hiss ass and just call me and say wtf was i thinking i obviously am still in love with you. His birthday is next week too, I don’t want to tell him happy birthday because he doesn’t deserve for me to acknowledge his birthday. sorry for this being so long. I will appreciate any advice you may have !

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Amy,
      it’s not actually allowed to keep checking your ex’s profile during and to like his posts because liking is a way of communicating with him but what’s more important now is if you have improved yourself? and he probably kept tweeting about you becauee he misses you.. that’s natural because you just broke up

  24. Ashley - 0

    Ashley

    My ex and I were together for 10 years, never married. We lived together for a while. Part of our relationship was long distance, he went to graduate school, then relocated for work. In February, he moved back to be with me and took a new job. Shortly after getting here, we began to fight quite a bit. He started acted fishy, being really private about his cell phone. I admittedly became quite jealous and accused him of cheating. In July, we mutually agreed to take a ‘break’ with no definite terms of how long the break would be. We had very limited contact for about a month. Then our dog, which I have custody of, got hurt. I did not immediately tell him but when I did, he told me that he has never been more upset with me before. That the whole reason he moved here was to be with me and I have pushed him away, and that if I didn’t act so crazy, we could have been happy. About a month later, I find pictures on Facebook that he has a new g/f. Our dog had to have surgery, which he pays half of. Then, I find pictures on Facebook of him and this new girl, as far back as April, while we were still together. I sent him a text, confronting him with the evidence. He denies the whole thing, saying they were just friends until after we broke up……even though we never officially had any conversation about breaking up. I texted back, calling bulls*** and told him that karma would be coming for him and when it does, he will think of me. Then just last week, we find out that his mom has cancer. She and I have always been very close. So, he and I have been talking mostly via text. I am trying to do all I can to help out with his mom…..he has told me that he appreciates what I’m doing for her. He has told me that he feels like his whole life is falling apart. He told me he loves me. Says that sometimes, he thinks we messed up. With our injured dog and now his mom, I don’t think I can do another NC. I do want him back, but don’t know if I can ever trust him again…….or should I just move on? Please help!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Ashley,

      I’m confused. You don’t think you can do nc, but you’re asking if you should move on which is a different approach for you

    • Ashley - 0

      Ashley

      Yes, I’m asking do you think doing a NC will help or should I just move on?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      There’s no guarantee that it will work but yes, it can help increase your chances.. Try it as a last approach, if it doesn’t work out then move on..

  25. cat - 0

    cat

    my boyfriend dumped me 3 months ago, saying he does’t want to be in a relationship at the moment, we kept meeting for coffees, he came around to my house stroking my hair, telling me he loves me, he always answers phone, texts. I told him i was going on dates, as i need to move on.Last week he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, but i saw his profile on a dating website, i asked him would we ever get back together, then said wait for me. ( up until that point he said probably, maybe , doesn’t know) last week, he said no way are we getting back. I then received a message saying sorry but you pushed me into saying that, he then wrote but never say never. He keeps trying to ensure he can keep me dangling. We were together for 2 years trying for a baby. He said he wants to concentrate on work, and i reckon i’ve blown it now, by keeping in contact thinking he would come back? i’m now doing no contact. I reckon he has made his mind up, he feels pressure form me. Is it too late for no contact to make any difference to his mind, will he be thinking about me?

    Reply
  26. Chelsea - 0

    Chelsea

    Hello. Im in a weird situation. My ex and i actually had a mutual “break” that we’ve barely clarified to one another. We’ve had a lot go on in our lives recently. We were together almost 3 years, but in the last few months my apartment was flooded, then the very next week he lost his car in the flood as well. I was living with him just for a bit after i lost my place but both of our jobs had been cutting hours still since last christmas so money was tight for the both of us. We had both taken a semester off from school as well. Our lives quickly became just work work and more work, us hanging out was literally just being at one anothers houses. There wasnt any money to do dates or to go out, you can only do netflix dates so much before it feels like youre just watching a movie with a friend. So we decided that a break would be good. It hasnt been very successful though it seems. It feels like we have a tension built up between us only because we both know we still love each other and probably still want to be together. I would like to get back with him but when we agreed to go on this break he expressed that he would like some space. So far we’ve been on our “break” for almost two months maybe. He usually texts me almost everyday, tells me good morning, updates of his job, little chatter here and there. I told him one day that i missed him and he said he missed me too, then another day i told him i loved him and he said it back…a little bit of a flirty kind of messaging after i said that but soon after he said goodnight to me. He entertained one of my “thats what he said” jokes. I told him that and he said “oh really? Thats what he said?” And i was like “yup. Everytime” and he got defensive in a cute way and said “well im gonna beat him up!” Just got even more florty afterwards. He says hes not ready for a relationship because he doesnt feel very financially stable, especially now since hes lost his car. He says i deserve better but also we had a conversation about our relationship where i asked him on a scale of 10 how badly do you wanna save this relationship and he said 8. He said it wouldve been a 10 but i cant remember why it wasnt. Its still a better number than i thought he would give! Gave me a lot of hope after he said that! Hes just been down the last few months to be honest. Hes in California right now for a month and we hung out before his flight, he said “thank you for taking me out :)” after i dropped him off home. He even said hes getting me a birthday gift after he comes back here. In the time that we’ve been apart ive been definitely working on myself and my own life, ive managed to get my own car, re-enrolled into school, even trying to get back into the gym! My ex though has always thought negative on himself and has trouble pushing through, hes made a possible decision to maybe take a job in cali where he would be making a lot of money. He would be staying with his family but still paying rent here with his roommate. They just signed another 12 month lease. He said if he takes the job up there, itll just be for a few months and then come back here because he wouldve saved up enough for him to go back to school and have another car. It can work out but it can also NOT work out and ruin the job he has here. I dont like this decision but if it can work out then thats amazing! I guess my question is…can i get my man back despite the fact that he says hes not ready ONLY because of financial problems? He knows im willing to help but he doesnt want it because hes felt like im a crutch. I can make the change to watch, itll be hard but i can try it out if it helps him feel more independent.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Chelsea,

      You have a good chance, just don’t rush it. If he needs his time for himself, don’t just wait. Be busy in your life too.. That way he won’t think that you’re just there forever and when he checks you through social media, he can see you’re improving and increase the chances of him missing you.. Try out 30 days nc first, and then slowly rebuild rapport after that. COntinue the routine you would be starting during nc even when you’re already building rapport with him and even when you get back with him.

    • Chelsea - 0

      Chelsea

      But how do you know theres a good chance? Ive been keeping myself very busy, hes even noticed and said so! Ive kept all my feelings to myself even though i love him a lot and would like to be together again. Would it be terrible to spill it all? Hes agreed to meet up with me since hes back from cali and we’ll be discussing our relationship.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      that’s a good sign that he noticed.. spilling everything when you don’t have rapport and attraction built is like confessing to someone you love them when that’s the last thing they want to hear

  27. Liz - 0

    Liz

    so me and my ex boyfriend were together for 7months. I was his first actual girlfriend. He has only dated other girls for less than 2months. He was my first boyfriend too, and we both loved each other until he said he didn’t love me anymore. He said the reason wasn’t because he loved some other girl. It was so shocking for me, it was the pain that I never experienced before. I didn’t know about the no contact rule then, so I just kept being super annoying and texted him frequently and told him I love him. Well that was the huge mistake. He told me he would not reply anymore and I made him mad.
    I kept being annoying for the 5months of the 9months we are apart. Well my ex and I go to the same school, same grade, same class. So we can’t stop seeing each other unless we don’t go to school. And about a few weeks after I stopped texting him, the long summer break came.
    I never actually saw him during the break. Just once, I was invited to a friend’s party at their house and he came too. He started to act strangely, and started singing break up songs which was super annoying. He brought the guitar and started to play the song on youtube, and he did it right in front of the sofa I was sitting. On the way back, he was asking friends if they’d loved anyone deeply before and sang the song we wrote together to my friends. It almost teared my heart while I was still recovering from the break up. He kept posting random pictures on social media since then, and kept updating his status which is pretty unusual for him.
    After school started two weeks ago, it gets so awkward when I try to talk to him. He starts singing break up songs whenever he is bored, and also some one direction love songs. but he also flirts with other girls, two girls specifically. It hurts to see that because I still actually love him a lot.
    Do you think I can get him back? I don’t know how to, and I haven’t texted or talked to him recently and I acted like I have no interest in him, but how I feel is the opposite. In about a week and a half, it would be my birthday(also his birthday is a few days away from mine). Do you think he will confess to me then?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Liz,

      You said you acted like you have no interest anymore but have you improved yourself? have you tried doing new things, meeting new people and making new friends?
      Because avoiding is one thing, actual moving on is another. He has to think that you are moving on and not just waiting for him to do something.

  28. Rachel - 0

    Rachel

    Hi there. I just broke up with my ex for about 2 weeks. We had a huge fight that involves his good friend and from then on he stops calling me love. To make things worst, he changed his profile picture and told me that it is over. I am on Day 2 on no contact but I couldn’t see anything happening. I wanted him back although he is 10 years younger than me because he has all the characteristics that I wanted. Help me!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Rachel,

      don’t rush.. How long were you together? And you should be focused in yourself only. On improving yourself.

  29. Erika - 0

    Erika

    My ex and I were together for almost 2 years. Spent all of our time together. Seriously like all. I broke up with him about a month ago because I couldn’t deal with one of his kids mother. After calming down I tried to get back with him. He told me that because I keep saying that and breaking it off that this time it was done. So I tried nc and after about 2 weeks tried to contact him. He told me it was over. I also saw on fb he posted a pic of some girl kissing his cheek. His mom told me he hasnt even contacted her. Well last week I found out he contacted my cousin on fb telling him he was tired of my ish. What confuses me is he doesn’t even talk to my cousin often so why go to him about our situation?? And why is he avoiding his parents?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Erika ,

      maybe he’s going through something in his mind.. Are you going to restart no contact?

    • Erika - 0

      Erika

      Yes I have already restarted nc. I’m just confused as to why he would contact NY cousin instead of going to his family.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Honestly it’s not good, because if they’re not close and he told him he’s tired of you, then he is tired of you and he had to tell it to your relative to relay to you

  30. Sick and confused - 0

    Sick and confused

    My ex broke up with me a month ago. It was a messy break up. I still am in love with him. For the last few years I had been experiencing stress vomiting that prevented me from getting steady work… this put a lot of strain on our relationship. A week after we decided to stop contacting each other while we both deal with our emotions my doctor called me in to talk about test results. He found out I have a tumor. I had put off telling my ex for a week and tried to seek support from friends (they were unhelpful)… eventually I told my ex and he called me to talk about it and the next day out of the blue contacted me to tell me that he had made appointments and paid for them for me for physio…. he says he cares about me and wants to hear from me and I am waiting to get more tests done… I am missing him right now but am unsure if it’s pity that he is staying in touch or genuine care. Or perhaps he feels guilty. I am unsure if I should continue contact with him even though I want him back in my life. More than ever. What should I do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sick and confused,

      You have the same situation with another commenter but I can’t remember her name.. that’s good that he did that.. I think he genuinely cares.. If he doesn’t, he would have just accompanied you to the doctors but he gave extra effort. I think getting back should be less of your priorities now.. Of course I know you know that but see the good side in this situation. He’s being there for you. Appreciate it and just cherish every moment of it. Get well first. You don’t need added stress. We really hope you get well.

    • Sick and confused - 0

      Sick and confused

      I suppose you’re right. It’s just hard to go through this and feel so alone after having a partner for so many years. It’s very hard not to want to see him and be comforted as well as talk to him to take my mind off things. If I continue to be sick I guess there really is no chance of getting back together.

    • Sick and confused - 0

      Sick and confused

      He has stopped contacting me now that I have had my appointment. So I guess it was just a nice gesture.

  31. Hicks - 0

    Hicks

    Me and my ex were together seven years. Different countries different languages! We have given up everything to be together and our love was insanely strong. I am jealous person and I don’t give him much privacy he is insecure and flirts with girls to get attention. These two together kept us fighting for years and made thing worse and worse. We broke up after I left home after a huge fight after he has been ignoring me for a while an things weren’t good. For few weeks after the break up every day we d fight and attack each other in a really low way. Now I try to nc but once in awhile I reply because of house matters I have to help since I was the one taking are if everything in the house. Since the half nc I have started e contacts me everyday has been a little bit more soft tell me he misses me and brings up excuses to meet up which before he didn’t want at all. Within the first two weeks we broke up he made out with a chick front of our friends and he was trying to be really hurtful. What should I do? I want him back even though we had some problems and he hasn’t been nice lately to me.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Hicks,

      have you kept it strictly talking about the house only? Are you actively improving yourself?

  32. Nadine - 0

    Nadine

    So my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months broke up with me out of nowhere. We’re both 28 and had talked two months prior about our thoughts on kids (mine on the edge and his fully in) and a month after that talk I told him that after thinking more about it and talking to friends that I was in and could see having kids with him. He had been the perfect boyfriend during our time together, was engaging with my family, and even the weekend before spent all weekend with my friends from out of town for a wedding reception. He had asked me before about where I’d like to move, what kind of ring I’d want, and the future in general. 3 days after he broke up with my we did the exchange of stuff at my request, and when there I also asked him to not contact me because it was too hard. Did I ruin my chance to let him call me if he changed his mind? It’s been 3 weeks and I haven’t contacted him and vice versa. Just wondering if it’s too late already.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Nadine,

      no you didn’t but what matters more is what you did in those three weeks?

  33. Jenny - 0

    Jenny

    Hi there,

    I’m in a really confusing place right now.

    My ex and I broke up nearly a year ago. We had four months of fighting after the break up which we’d never had when we were together. It was mainly me causing it and it was, I believe, in reaction to the way he did it (he broke up with me the morning he was going overseas for two months).

    Fast forward 12 months and I’ve worked a lot on myself and have even finally just completed a month of no initiated contact. I can’t do full NC because we work in the same building and I see him all the time, but I’ve decided to keep going with it at the moment anyway by not initiating anything.

    Up until a few months ago, I would’ve said we’d fallen into easygoing friends and having nice interactions here and there.

    Then he started doing weird things like parking right next to me in the carpark, taking photos of our cars together and showing me which I would find really creepy if he wasn’t the guy I’m in love with. We had a lovely date about six weeks ago where he brought up nice memories of when we were together and was affectionate with me. He seeks me out at lunch time and if I’m randomly walking around he follows me and wants to talk to me. He teases me in a cute way, makes me laugh and notices every little change I make to my hair, clothes and make up. He has always said I’m the hottest girl in the world, but he even announced a couple of months ago that I’ve had a complete makeover.

    A couple of days before my birthday last month, he asked me to dinner (long story, but he said he wanted to take me to dinner when he got back from holidays in two weeks). Then on my actual birthday, he asked me to coffee and cake four times before I was able to go and it was lovely. That night I received a luxury hamper from him with a kiss on the card (something that even when we were together he didn’t do so it was my favourite part of the hamper).

    He went away for his two weeks holiday, came back and everything at work has been the same, he’s still parking as close to me as he can and finding me at lunch for cute conversations. The thing is, he hasn’t mentioned our dinner. I made a mini comment about it last week when he asked me if the celebrations were still going and he said “oh yeah, that’s right” and I laughed and said “omg, forget I just spoke”. He said “oh there WILL be dinners, we’ll just do your birthday one in six months to annoy everyone by keeping your birthday going longer”.

    The thing is, he hasn’t mentioned it again and he’s been home nearly two weeks. I know he has long-standing personal (mental) issues and financial issues but it’s just dinner and he asked me in the first place. He told me (during the four months of bad breakup time) that if I give him time and space (he was/is grieving his father also) he’ll be able to give me what I want (ie. everything) so I’m trying to live by that and be patient.

    I’m at a loss of what to do now. I want to wait for him to be ready but at the same time if his feelings aren’t romantic then I don’t want to look foolish by holding on.

    What is the plan after NC and does it sound like he’s into me romantically?

    Reply
    • Jenny - 0

      Jenny

      I forgot to mention, a couple of months ago I sent him a message telling him that his actions were making me really like him again. I asked him not to reply because I wasn’t saying it to get a response but I was simply letting him know what affect his actions were having on my feelings. He didn’t reply and actually amped up his actions after that. Oh and the reason he broke up with me was because he said he didn’t feel like he was falling in love.

    • Jenny - 0

      Jenny

      I actually have a real time update on this because he actually came and found me at lunch today (first time he’s done it this week and its Friday here) and it was so obvious he only came outside to find me to ask me to dinner and a movie tomorrow night. Five weeks of me not doing anything at all except being warm, flirty and welcoming and he steps up. I am beyond excited 🙂

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      see…just contnue that.. if he proposed soemthing.. let him prove it first.. if he doesn’t let the idea go and just live your usual day.
      look your best and enjoy!

  34. Samatha - 0

    Samatha

    Hi. I have been dating this guy for almost a year. We have had a lot of stupid little fights because he doesn’t know how to control his anger. He gets mad if a guy says hi to me. So to avoid conflict in our relationship I didn’t tell him a lot of things. He cheated on me and we worked through it and he tried real hard to fix things and things were going good for awhile. Then our relationship started going downhill. He started sneaking around and lying. I ended up cheating on him and he couldn’t deal with the pain. We ended up working on it and we promised to tell each other everything. Well to this day we still have stuff hidden from each other but neither one of us will talk about anything. a girl told him many lies about me and he believes her and not me. He said I need to tell him everything I’m lying about or else we aren’t getting back together. I’ve told him everything I can think of and he still thinks I have more to tell. Do I try and fix things with him or should I let him go? We have been through so much together and I just don’t know what to do anymore. And if we get back together I’m not allowed doing anything. No guy friends, no talking to guys, no going out with my friends. I’m going to be on complete lockdown and I don’t think that’s healthy.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Samantha,

      yeah, it’s not..have you mentioned that to him?

  35. Dina Natasha - 0

    Dina Natasha

    Hi, me and my ex already broke up for 6 years but we still keep in touch (there’s no nc rules because I cannot do that), but he has 2 ex gf after me. What confusing is a few months ago we did something like what couple/lovers did (kissing, holding hands, etc) but after that, he acting like there’s nothing happened. I’m so confused because he said he just wanna still keep in touch with me and he said sorry for being such a jerk. I know I’m so stupid still have feeling for him. And I said it to my ex, “I still love you and I dunno what should do. Should I go away or just stay like this?” And then he replied, “it’s all up to you.” He didn’t gave me the good answer. It’s not clear. And there’s a case where I told him that I want to study abroad and he said he want to spend one night with me before I go. So confusing.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Dina,

      why can’t you do nc?

  36. Samantha - 0

    Samantha

    Hi there I am sorry to ask this much but I’m hurting. I dated my boyfriend for almost two years. We had a good relationship, he was my best friend. He was my first love and I never felt so connected with anyone. However he had a serious problem with putting in effort. We are in high school but he didn’t have his license so I had to drive us everywhere. He never has had a job so I paid for all our dates. I didn’t mind doing this but when he expected it let alone didn’t appreciate it I got very resentful and hurt. And he continued to do things that were just very inconsiderate towards me. I decided it would be good to break it off and he mutually agreed. I think that was more of a pride thing instead of the one being broken up with for him. Anyways fast forward to a month later and I miss him like crazy. I think about him all day everyday no joke. We’ve talked
    On the phone and text every once an a while, I know that’s not part of the NC rule but we just found out his mom who I’m very close to was diagnosed with cancer a week after we broke up. He’ll text me saying stuff such as how he misses my giggle and how his mom loves me and misses me so much and all this stuff but yet he’ll tell me how his life hasn’t changed. But he’ll do things like text me but when I respond he won’t respond back. I also heard from his best friend that he’s apparently been making out with this girl from his first new job but has no emotions for her and all this confusing stuff. I wanna tell him I miss him but I’m afraid of
    Either two options 1 that he’ll reject me and say he’s already moved on or 2 that he’ll say yes but still be disrespectful. So I guess what I’m asking is do you think he still cares and misses me? Do you think I’d be stupid to try to rekindle things?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Samantha,

      don’t rush it.. if he really changed, he will show it.. with what you said, looks like he hasn’t.. he said it himself.. nothing has changed..but I think you need time to really focus in yourself this time.. if you want to be supportive with him for now go ahead and then decide later on when you’ll take time for yourself

  37. Cammy - 0

    Cammy

    so me and my ex were together for 7 months. we met at school so we had to go home for summer vacation and we are from different places. Our relationship was a good one. we got into it a bit fast, we didn’t really know each other before we got involved but we fell in love and we were happy and we got really close and we really trusted each other. there were some problems of course as there are in any relationship. he was the first person i ever wanted a relationship with so opening up was hard but i did it. at the beginning of the summer i sent him a long stream of conciousness telling him everything i was feeling and he told me that he loved me with all of his heart and he was here for me and willing to work it out so we talked and things were good and i asked him if there were things that i did that were making him unhappy and he mentioned two small things that we could work on and i said ok but he said there wasn’t anything else. he said he loved me a lot and he was really happy with me. the first time he told me he loved me he said he had never needed anyone as much as he needed me. i once asked him if he was ever got to a point where he wasn’t feeling our relationship would he talk to me about it or just breakup with me and he said he would talk to me about it. however, about 2 or 3 weeks into the summer we had a phone conversation that was kind of meh, we were just talking but neither of us had much to say and he was really tired because he’s been working a lot so we hung up but he said he loved me. the next morning he snap chatted me saying good morning with hearts. i snap chatted him a cute thing later but he didn’t respond. the next day i texted him saying hello my love how are you with a heart and he said hey just kind of tired I’m lying in bed about to go to sleep. after that i didn’t hear from him for five days in any regard. i sent him 2 cute animal videos cause that was something we tended to do and he saw them but didn’t respond. i finally got tired of it and asked him if everything was ok. he said yeah he’s just been busy and asked if we could talk on the phone later. we did and in that phone call he said that he was breaking up with me because he realized he didn’t love me anymore and he had met someone else that he liked and that he realized he didn’t care for me as much anymore. he was really pretty cold about it and it hurt. we talked a bit more after that. he said he did love me when he said he did only days before and he said that when we were together he was happy and he was grateful for the time we had together. he said that it wasn’t anything i did and that i was wonderful, just that his feelings changed and he wasn’t the same person he was when we were together and that who he is now doesn’t like me. i told him he was being really cold and he said that it was the way he was doing it and he was doing it for his own self-interest but that he wasn’t trying to toss me away like it felt and that he still wanted to be friends. i tried to work it out with him but he said no. i asked him to see me so we could get some closure and stuff but he said he probably couldn’t see me until school starts. i asked him why he didn’t talk to me and he said it was something he had to figure out on his own. i asked him if he just decided i wasn’t worth it and he said as mean as it sounded he guessed so. i asked him if he was going to be with this other girl and he said probably. he said he couldn’t be with me when he could possibly fall for this other girl but he also said that she doesn’t do committed relationships and he’s not looking for a committed relationship right now, how could he be so sure he’s going to fall in love with someone when neither of them is going to commit? in our last conversation i was feeling slightly better although it was still bad and i felt like he thought i was a mistake. i texted him a few times after that, he responded once but then not again. he was the first and only person i ever opened my heart to and he said he loved me and he never wanted to hurt me. on our six month anniversary he said that he just wanted six more months. then he turned around out of nowhere and broke every promise he ever made to me and ripped out my heart out of nowhere in a phone call and he won’t even give me closure and now I’m just left traumatized and confused. and i talked to one of his friends who was also becoming my good friend who i assumed he had told just to make sure we could still be friends but he didn’t know about it. i don’t think my ex has told anyone from our school because all of his friends still interact with me on social media. i have no idea wtf is going on and i keep hoping that the no contact will make him miss me but I hate feeling this sense of hope when he seems to be out having fun. if he’s never going to love me again then i just want to get some closure with him so i can let him go and then maybe when we get back to school we can see if we can be friends. but I’m worried asking him will only make him resent me. I fought really hard for him but he never even gave me a chance, he was a coward. i love him so much and it hurts so badly and i just want to get all of this out and have a real conversation with him so i can let him go and move on with my life. he said he was feeling loss and sadness because he was losing something that meant a lot to him, something being our relationship, and he said he had feelings that he could feel himself repressing but that they were going to hit. he says he cares about me but it really doesn’t feel that way. it feels like he never loved me at all and he never thinks about me or misses me or gives a damn about me in general. and i don’t know what to do. please help!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cammy,

      you need to decide whether to talk to him first or start nc rigt away

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