This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

There are many different “signs” that you can look for to know if your ex boyfriend still loves you. This page is going to take an in-depth look at each specific sign and give you an idea on how to proceed if you decide you want your ex boyfriend back. First though, I would be a fool if I didn’t point out that there isn’t an exact science to this. What I mean, is that since we are dealing with a male human being things can be a bit…. unpredictable. So, there may be some rare cases where your ex could exhibit many of the signs below and yet he still might not be interested in you. Don’t worry though, everything that is on this page has been thoroughly researched and is a compilation of many of the best relationship experts advice and findings. While I can’t guarantee anything, I think it is a safe bet to assume that if your ex is doing the things below he is probably interested in you.

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February 1, 2017

1 - Two Things You Have To Do First

things

Before we get down to the nitty gritty on how to determine if your ex still likes you there are two things that I need you to accomplish. The first is relatively simple, the second one… not so much.

  1. I want you to take some time and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for wanting your ex boyfriend back. As a general rule, couples who get back together after a break up tend to have really good reasons for doing so. Oh, and I think it is important to mention that couples who successfully reunite with legitimate reasons last longer! Still confused? Don’t be I actually wrote a huge post that defines what a good reason is and will even give you some examples here.
  2. Secondly, I need you to adopt a No Contact Rule. Experts agree that in order to put yourself in a good position to win back your ex boyfriend you need to cut yourself off from them for at least a month. Make no mistake about it, it will be among the hardest things you have ever done. There will be a constant temptation to call them, email them or text them. Whatever happens make sure you DO NOT DO IT.

(If you want more in-depth help with these two things you can find it here.)

Now, I bet you are wondering what any of this has to do with figuring out if your ex boyfriend still misses you, I assure you it is really important.

2 - The Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Still Likes You

he loves me

Ok, no matter who broke up with who, how bad the break up was or how much you think he hates you I can assure you one thing… he is thinking about you. Did you know that 81% of people still think about their exes too much? What’s worse is that nearly 90% of Facebook users still look up their ex. So, I think it is safe to assume that you on your exes mind more than you think you are. The real question is, is he thinking positive or negative things about you? At least that is what you are wondering. Obviously, you want your ex to be thinking very positive thoughts when it comes to you as it will make getting him back a lot easier. With that being said, even if your ex thinks you are the anti-christ there are certain things you can do to change his mind. Besides, right after a breakup both parties are angry at each other so there isn’t much positive karma going around is there?

That is where the no contact rule comes in play. I can pretty much guarantee that your ex won’t be having any positive love thoughts about you a few days after your breakup (especially if YOU broke up with him.) By implementing a no contact rule you are doing two things.

  1. First, you are giving him and you time to calm down and get your wits about you.
  2. Secondly, he is going to wonder why you haven’t tried to call or text him to check up (like he thinks you are supposed to do)

Which leads us to our first sign…

3 - Sign 1- If He Calls, Texts or Messages You

texting

We already know that he is thinking about you but if he actually takes the time to text message you or call you then you should feel really good about yourself because he is definitely showing interest. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that all your troubles are over and you can run back into his arms and the world will rejoice. Let’s be honest here, just because he text messaged you doesn’t mean that he wants you back but it is definitely a sign pointing in the right direction. If you are staying true to the NC Rule (No Contact Rule) then you greatly increase your chances of having him contact you in some way. The only thing is you can’t contact him back which is explained if you read my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

4 - Sign 2- Does He Keep An Eye On You?

im-watching-you

While you are supposed to be avoiding your ex both physically and mentally for 30 days there are certain cases where it is impossible to do so. If you notice that your boyfriend keeps popping up in places that you frequent then this is a definite sign that he still has feelings for you. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that sometimes it can just be a coincidence that they are at the same place that you are. However, I would say  that if you notice them “being around” at least three times then that is a definite pattern.

 

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

5 - Sign 3- Do You Get A Reaction?

react

As you know, I am pushing the NC rule pretty darn hard. However, I am not naive. I know how relationships work and I know that the majority of women reading this will not be able to hold out for 30 days. So, in the event that you break down one of the best ways you can determine if he still has those deep feelings for you is watching how he reacts when he sees you. This can be a little tricky to determine but I will go ahead and give you some things to watch for.

  • Does his face light up?
  • Does he sneak looks at you when he thinks your not looking?
  • If he talks really fast that is a good sign as well.
  • Looking into your eyes for a long period of time is a good sign too.

6 - Sign 4- Does He Keep In Touch With Friends & Family?

family

Ex boyfriends who are possibly interested in getting back together will keep in touch with your friends or family. This sign especially rings true if you are deep into your no contact. If you aren’t picking up your phone they are going to reach out to friends or family to see how you are. If you want them back then this is a very good sign. Of course, there are some cases where an ex will keep in touch with your family just to annoy you but you can usually tell in those cases.

7 - Sign 5- Touching

200264715-001

I may lose some man points for this but one of my favorite movies to watch is Hitch (where Will Smith basically plays a love doctor.) There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where he points out that one of the signs that a woman will show, if she is interested in a guy, is touching. Well, the same can be applied to men. If you see your ex and he is maintaining some type of physical contact like touching your arm, hand, knee, leg that is a really good sign.

8 - What To Do After You Have Figured Out He Still Loves You

So, he showed some of the signs above eh? Well, now you have a decision to make. Do you want to try and get him back or do you want to move on? Since this is a website specifically for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back I can tell you that there is so much information on this site for FREE that you will be blown away. However, not all of the information is going to give you 100% of everything you need. It is for that reason that I am highly recommending you to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. It is really a true “step by step” method to winning back your ex boyfriends heart. Other than that I hope you enjoy this site and find everything you are looking for.

 

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (1,350)

  1. Cherry Jude - 0

    Cherry Jude

    Hi I have a friend who fell in love with another guy they were both married and they knew they cannot continue the relationship because it is forbidden so they broke up still in love. They no longer communicate but the last time they spoke they still loved each other. My girlfriend is heartbroken but she knows she cannot continue and does not want to contact him she is wondering if he feels the same way. Do you think he still loves her? Both of them cried during their break up.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cherry,

      maybe, but truth is, it wont matter if they can’t be together.. And it’s also a guage of her non negotiables.. if she doesn’t want to be involved with a married guy, she has to move on and go back to rekindling her marriage.. if she’s not really happy with her marriage, she has to find the courage to stand up on her own…

  2. Bella - 0

    Bella

    Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend after in 2 years relationship. He was the one who broke up with me, 4 months ago. He said that he doesn’t love me anymore. After break up, I was begging him and did every stupid things to get him back. I didn’t find this site yet. And then I try NC for a month at December. I contacted him again new year, and we were in touch again. We met couple times, and sometimes he was the one who initial the meeting. We had sex, but not all the time when we met. Sometimes he just came to my place, watch TV series with me and cuddle or sleep with me without having sex. I kind think that a good signal. Sadly, he turns so cold when we’re texting. And last week was the last time we meet and our communication through texting. He doesn’t reply my last text, and not contact me till today. What do you think should I do? Should I contact him? And I have one sin, at our second meet up, I asked him back in relationship and he refuse because not ready yet, oh that’s too fast right? And after that I always think that he has more power than me bcs he knew I still desperately want him back. Help me. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Bella,

      that’s probably the reason why he’s distant now.. I think you should restart nc and then do 45 days..focus in moving on without fully moving on and then after it, dont sleep with him.
      Take it slow, maintain your new routine while rebuilding rapport.

  3. nora - 0

    nora

    My ex boyfriend still loves me but he is afraid to show it because he is a pastor and he heads a branch. When ever he sees me there is something that stares up in his eyes one day we both find ourselves wearing the same clothes to church unknowingly it’s was a great surprise and when ever we are alone the force of emotions is too strong but now he does not Cal no text no messages I want to move on likewise him but situation won’t allow us to be seen together my properties are still with him though

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Nora,

      Just to make it clear, what do you want to do? Is it to move on or try? Because if it’s to move on, just talk to him about what needed to be talked about like the properties.. Other than that, don’t engage in building more rapport and interaction.

  4. Daisy - 0

    Daisy

    Hi, this is a long story so will try to only give relevant info , I have spoken to you last year & you helped so much . My ex was a LDR Muslim boyfriend & we spilt last year at Ramadan over a misunderstanding , I initiated successfully NC & we came back in contact , after 2 months in contact my ex decided i lived to far away , then after 2 weeks nc we were back in touch we stayed in touch since , he said he missed me ,we were flirty , I went on holiday to where my ex lives 2 weeks ago & we were very pleased to see each other , we spent good time together he said he wants me to move out there & says we should set up a business together , I’ve been home 2 weeks & we message almost every day , just short messages but flirty or funny, 3 days ago he says again we should have a business together , he says he will sort a house & a car , when I ask where I will live he says with him , I said I should live with you & he said why not , I then asked if I would be living with him as my boyfriend ? I have not had an answer or heard from him since , I have sent one message , knowing not to be a text gnat & have not had a reply , he has read the message ! I am confused , I really don’t know what to do next or if he even likes me at this stage ? Please help ?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Daisy,

      you have to wait for the answer.. because right now we’re not sure if he’s thinking about it or he atopped because he doesn’t want to commit

    • Daisy - 0

      Daisy

      Hi, Thankyou for your quick reply , i heard from my ex the next day (2 days ago) he said he was sorry he hadn’t replied but he was really busy , didn’t answer my question though. I heard from him yesterday but we just chatted about the work both of us had done that day & had a joke . I just don’t know where I stand or what text I should send next now ? How do I play this ? I don’t want to be a text gnat .

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      let it cool down for a week before asking again. You can reply, but dont initiate in the mean time. If you’re clearly asking it and he’s avoiding it, that means he doesn’t want to commit.

    • Daisy - 0

      Daisy

      Thankyou will give that a try , I’m so confused why he would aske me to live with him & offer to set me up in a business & that we can work together .My ex is not asking me to contribute any money in this , he has offered to pay for everything just wants me to bring my knowledge . I’ve never met a man that would want to do that for someone he doesn’t care about ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      yeah, that’s a sign but he’s also showing that he’s not sure when he didn’t answer

    • Daisy - 0

      Daisy

      Sorry pressed submit without finishing –
      Hi, so I followed your advice & went quiet after 4 days my ex messaged hi, I left it an hour before I replied hi, I followed other advice I’ve read on this site & matched my exes length on messages , he then asked how my day was , each time I waited 20 – 30 mins before answering, my ex answers straight away each time ,we chatted like this for 2 hours ,each message getting longer , he then said he missed me , I just replied with a blush smiley emoji. I’ve not heard from him today but i know he is travelling with work , Should I have said I missed him back ? What should my next move be , I’ve been quiet today ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I think that’s actually a good one.. cute and a little cheeky..so, dont intiate for a week right.. let him do the work..

    • Daisy - 0

      Daisy

      Hi, I’ve followed your advice & not initiated contact but I’ve heard nothing back from my ex since last Thursday when he told me he missed me ! What should my next move be ? Is he mad that I didn’t say I missed him back ?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      no, don’t overthink.. if the week of rest is over, then you can initiate..

  5. Maynon - 0

    Maynon

    Ugh. So I wrote on here last September when my ex of a year and a half broke up with me.
    I had moved somewhere else (a long way away) for us to be together and was his first girlfriend. I was still settling in and had been a bit homesick and wasn’t enjoying my job too and I think it all got a bit much for him and he didn’t think I was any longer the one for him and called it off…despite seeming completely happy with me and still loving me. I then moved back home heartbroken to try and rebuild the life I’d left. It was the hardest time of my life and he treated me as out of sight and mind even though we hadn’t fell out which made me feel horrendous. he did have some unresolved feelings )so he thought) for someone who burned him whilst he went travelling 3 years ago and as soon as I left she became single again and visited him at new year. (From very long distance also) I had to delete him from social media as a coping mechanism. I went away for a while and started to feel so much better as I had friends whom really built me up to not check up on him. Also lots of attention from many guys helped. My ex in our relationship had made me feel like the most sloped son on the earth..another factor which made me so confused and the break up so painful.
    He got in touch after the ‘visitor’ left (nothing happened and he said he’d been very unrealistic About her and it made things clearer with me) he reached out to me despite the delete and apologised saying what a serious idiot he’d been and I deserve so much better. He said his lack of relationship experience had meant he didn’t know how to deal with the break up maturely. Now..I’m a very forgiving kind but he turned my world upside down as I left a visa on the belief I’d see him again as nothing was enough wrong to justify our break up (he had positioned it that I’d get to see my family etc and it didn’t have to be the end for us both) ..but since found that he was letting me down gently!! Again..so inexperienced. He hasn’t had to deal with much grief in life (which is great!) but really his little life experience compared to mine masked small things (like my period of unhappiness in settling in) seem huge…when it would have gone eventually…but I The let it vow between us both rather than communicating better. We are so compatible and have even In His words the best connection ever…it’s such a waste!!!! He’s put me through so much but I still think what a waste it all is to throw away despite that!!! I didn’t reply to his apology for a week..and certainly didn’t forgive how he dealt with stuff but it’s bought back all kinds of feelings and I still miss him dearly. What should I do??

    Reply
    • Maynon - 0

      Maynon

      Sloped son?!! I meant he had always made me feel like a princess and our chemistry was on fire and he always told me how much he thought of me the best and prettiest person in the world

    • Maynon - 0

      Maynon

      I also explained to him that a connection like ours (which I’ve never felt with anyone before and nor him by te sounds of it) is really important and forms much of the base of a great relationship. He’s in love with it and said I’m very close to being the one but there’s something Missing and he can’t put his finger on it. He has reached out a lot and clearly wants me in his life contact wise and says he still loves me. From previously being on a nine yr relationship I know ours is very special and despite our distance circumstances has been very easy..we even started living together which he admits has been easy..we always had our hands all over each other it was playful and fun. We never argued. He knows all this and agrees. But it was seriously quickly for his first relationship (he’s 28 by the way) I just have this feeling that despite it having been four months..that it’s not the end..like..a feeling of big unfinishedness. It’s very frustrating..but ultimately it takes 2. What shall I do

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Maynon,

      talk to him if you want to rekindle.. I think what he meant is that there was no spark anymore.. no more mystery in the relationship when he broke up with you

    • Maynon - 0

      Maynon

      I think the spark was definitely still there but he had became unhappy as I was unhappy in other areas (my job, being a bit homesick etc) I know I needed a trip home but it’s made him think I’m not the one for him…he dealt with the break up poorly so really..I should be mad at him. I am to a degree but I’m more mad he’s choosing to waste a perfectly good pairing (me and him) due to his inexperience of being in a relationship prior to ours

    • Maynon - 0

      Maynon

      And If he really wanted to get back with me…wouldn’t he just say.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if you’re going to wait for him to initiate, set a limit until when

    • Maynon - 0

      Maynon

      Well actually…he became unhappy as I was kind of suffering from depression (neither of us realised this at the time) I had lost lots of family over time and when I slowed my life down and moved over there it bought it to the surface. I have since explained this to him and how painful it was then losing him too because of the depression I suffered having lost others! He was understanding but the bottom line is..we are now living in different continents again due to the split. He doesn’t want to live abroad again. And I think he is on purpose trying to push his regret and emotion aside As he doesn’t see our future as realistic due to the location differences. That said..we had a conversation that wasn’t rationalising our relationship for the first time by text a couple of days ago..he’d had a few drinks and was out but was sending me links to new music he likes and talking. About his family and friends and stuff. He also asked if I had a valentines date this year. Hmmm…I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      frankly, if no one is moving closer to each other, you have to move on.

  6. tatyanna smith - 0

    tatyanna smith

    my ex boyfriend told me last night that he has been thinking about his relationship every night for the past week and i was wondering if this could result in a break-up? he left me for his ex girlfriend last month so that is who he is currently dating

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Tatyana,

      thinking in what way? has he always been like that? if he has always jump to different relationship, then yes, there’s a possibility that he wanted to break up with her..

    • tatyanna smith - 0

      tatyanna smith

      i am not sure. all he told me was that he has been thinking about it for the past week

    • tatyanna smith - 0

      tatyanna smith

      i am not sure. all he told me was that he has been thinking about it lately

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      dont hold on to it.. if he knows you’re just waiting..then that’s probably to make you wait, to string you along

  7. Ashley - 0

    Ashley

    Hi ,
    So me and my child’s father have been broken up for a month. He found a “rebound” girlfriend while we were still together he actually cheated with her and now is with her.

    But anyway a little background we have been in a relationship for 2 years after years of him trying to pursue me. We finally got togther and fell head over heels in love, so in love we planned to our first child together after being togther for a year, which is now our 4 month old son. We had problems in our relationship which everyone does I wasn’t the cleanest person, not very organized he is not perfect either but I still loved him but his issues with me about cooking and cleaning ultimately led him to where he is now. Now initially finding out he had been cheating with this woman and still with me sent me into a rage for a bout a week or so and I was acting totally enraged, crazy and most of all hurt. We still had sex a few times after I found out about this woman thinking it would change his feelings (obviously it didn’t it got worst on my end I’m connecting emtionally more while he goes home to this other woman) so I knew then I needed to get me together for my child and me. So I started the MC rule this past Monday and it worked extremely fast at least a day or two in– he begin to call me talking about our son then got into other topics other than our kid which I entertained for a minute and ended conversation. Yesterday, after I got off work omw to pick up my son from his house- he asked “why don’t u check on me anymore?” I told him I’ve been trying to get me together or something to that effect. Now I’ve read more in depth on this website now about the contact rule with child/ren involved and I see I’ve kind of messed up I hung with him for about a hour.. nothing happend but he wanted it to; he wants it to as far as sex .. he was caressing my ear which I noticed after he stopped doing it while we were hanging. But even tho that happened I’m still doing the minimal contact rule i didn’t txt him any after we hung out or none this morning.

    Please give me your insight on my whole situation…

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Ashley,

      that’s ok..just continue the count..if he asks again why you’re distant, tell him you’re busy

  8. Sherisse - 0

    Sherisse

    Hello. My ex boyfriend and I broke of almost 3 years broke up on December 7th. Immediately I went into NC. We are still friends on various social media sites (Facebook, instagram, snapchat and linkedin). When I post snaps I noticed that he is always watching my stories. This is a guy who never uses his Snapchat. Not only that but we are also co-workers. He finds any little excuse to walk around me to try to get me to notice him. Of course I do but I pretend that I don’t. Our break room is pretty small and when he notices that I am walking to the break room he soon follows.

    We broke up due to him not being emotionally supportive when I truly needed him which was a constant problem. And due to my depression issues which was apart of my health issues due to Lupus. He stated that we can still talk to one another but only through text and he said the dreaded “We will never get back together” line. The break up itself was a pretty calm break up. He initiated it saying that he never had time to be single and discover himself. Which I agreed with him when it came to myself. I went from a 10 year relationship and jumped right into a relationship with him which helped become a mutual thing. But he quickly asked “How long will you be single for?” I informed him that “I do not know but I do know I can work on myself while in a relationship.”

    Since December 7th I found the right help for my depression issues and my Autoimmune disease is under control. I have gone skydiving and take belly dancing class regular to cross that off my bucket list. I realized that a lot of our petty arguments was that, petty. I have purchased your book and listen to your podcasts religiously and still in NC, I am still lost. His actions are screaming I miss you but he still has not reached out to me directly.

    Help!

    Reply
    • Sherisse - 0

      Sherisse

      I also forgot that, I was paying for mistakes of his ex girlfriend before me that use to cheat on him and physically abuse him. It was also his friends that convinced him to break up with me.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi sherisse,

      so you’re in nc for more than months now..how long.do you intend to do it?

    • Sherisse - 0

      Sherisse

      I am too scared of talking to him. I do not want my text message to go unanswered. So I was waiting for him to initiated it given how he is hovering over me at work.

    • Sherisse - 0

      Sherisse

      I was going to wait for him to initiate conversation due to fear of rejection. I figured he would crack given how he needs his presence known at work.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      ok..then just set a limit on until when you would wait before moving on

  9. Sally - 0

    Sally

    My boyfriend and I were dating for 2 years. We broke up 5 months ago. He’s 10 yrs younger. Mostly healthy relationship but very different work schedules. No major fights. He is my best friend. Very good intimacy. But I was constantly unsure if I wanted to remain committed or if I could love him forever. I felt I needed some time apart – space. I ended it. We maintained fairly good text communication after until about 6 weeks ago when he said “move on” “stop texting me” He said he’s met someone. He has been alone for 4 mo so I don’t blame him. But I acted like a girl and spiraled. Crying. Texting non stop “please I’m sorry I didn’t know I just needed time I really love you I can’t loose you” blah blah. You get the hysterics. Anyway, I went to his house unannounced. He wouldn’t let me in. Was kind but said please leave and move on. I panicked again. Texted all my feelings. Ugh. He said I was irritating. That sucked to hear. So I wrote him a lengthy email saying things in a more succinct manner. But that’s our last contact. I love this man but I wasn’t ready to move fwd and I was scared of our age gap. But now I am ready to love him and what if this new girl is some amazing younger version of me? I’m struggling. What’s your advice. We’ve never gone no contact. I’m terrified to push him away by ignoring him and I’m worried he’ll get closer to her. He likes relationships so he might jump in

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sally,

      if you kept in contact will that pull him in or he’ll get more annoyed with you?

  10. Lauren - 0

    Lauren

    Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend in October of last year. For around 6 months, he never had any time for me, was always busy in the gym or working overtime at work, and then with his mates in the evening. I was tired of feeling second best, and thought that I was better off without him. Since we broke up, I am left completely heartbroken and realising I’ve made a huge mistake. We were in contact a lot at first, he came round to my house around a month later and slept with me. A couple of weeks after that he took me to a Christmas Market and kissed me and held my hand. His family said he had gone home really positive about us again and that he was happy. Over Christmas we argued and he’d said that he still missed me at Christmas and wished I could’ve come for dinner. All he’s done whilst saying and doing these things is gone on several nights out with his friends drinking which he was never bothered about while we were together and been in contact with girls he had a thing with before we were ever together. When I try and talk him round and make him see that we will work, he pushes me away again, says “we should just be friends”. I ask him if there’s someone else, he won’t reply. I ask him if he still loves me, he again tells me to stop asking. I don’t know what to do anymore, we tried cutting contact but within two days he’d text. What do I do, does he still want me or is he seeing someone else?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi lauren,

      whether he likes you or not, at thid point, if he’s pushing you away, dont chase. He will really keep on messaging you because that’s what he’s used to do but you’re not getting anywhere right? So, I think it’s time to stick to no contact rule and focus in healing and improving yourself

  11. Shannon - 0

    Shannon

    My boyfriend broke up with me last night cause he taught I was on the phone to someone else on viber when in fact I was trying to call him at the same time now he has blocked Me and I have not heard from his since then I’m heartbroken I love him so much I need some advice in what to do next

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Shannon,

      are you on and off together?

    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      My ex has just broke up with me last 2 months, we had distance relationship in 1.5 years (in previous, I flirt and follow him first in 2 years, then I got the agree from him). After 1.5 years, I felt that he was not interested in me anymore (I texted to him 1-2 time/week, call 1 time/week but he did not pick up my phone and even not reply it). Then, he said that he felt too tight in our relationship, he hated that I was close with his mother and his relatives (I once told his mother about our current sad status); he did not love me anymore and he decided that we should stop. I did the stupid thing: come to his country to see him and hug him (i did not cry) and ask him to think carefully. But his answer was no. So I decided to completely let him go as what he really wants. He told me that I should forget him and consider him as a friend after breaking up. Obviously it is weird for me to become friend with an ex. So I reply that there will be no friendship between us, and I unfriended him from my facebook.

      Reading your article, I followed the NC rule until now is almost 3 weeks. He still now does not text or contact me. I also post my beautiful and happy photos after breaking up, to show that I’m really fine without him. If after 30 days with NC, I do not get any feedback from him. Because he knows that I am living alone far from home (I’ll be back to hometown in next 2 months, so I don’t have any plan for having new dating. He really knows that fact) so he might not be afraid to losing me -> the step: “making him jealousy” may not work in my case. Should I continue to follow the rule until he contacts to me first? Or I have to text him first? All I want to do is making him want me and beg me back. Please tell me what to do. Thanks for your advice.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Rachel,

      if you’ve chased him, you should so 45 days..and then initiate contact after that

    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      Hi Amor,

      Thank you for your advice and also sorry that I’ve just found out I replied in the question of Shannon instead of making my new question about my problem (I didn’t know how to do, so I’ve to continue to reply on this). The fact is that this 8 Feb is his birthday (still in 45 days no contact rule). What do I need to do now? Ignore it or send him a message to wish him a happy birthday?

    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      Hi Amor, my ex birthday is on 8 Feb, so I should ignore or text him a wish on this day? Because it is still within 45 days no contact rule.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      that’s ok.. Yep, you should ignore it.. Listen to the podcast below on why you should:
      EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      Hi Amor, I followed your advice. I made 45 days no contact rule. Today, I started message him to ask some questions (3-4 sentences only) related to daily life. He replied with short sentences (like uhm, thanks, you too…).. Then after our conversation, he wishes me a happy valentine. So, I replied him by a joke “do you wanna try to flirt me like others are now doing?” and attach a message from a guy who is flirting me. He replied: “we all finished. don’t send me the message that others text to you. I don’t want to begin again with you. I want a new life.” So, I say oh i dont mean I want to begin with you, i have my new life to come on, bye. And we end our conversation.

      Maybe he doesn’t want come back to me. But it seems he is not comfortable when seeing the message that another guy flirting me. But why he said to me that I should go dating with new guy? What do you think? And what should I do? I think I will give up on him 🙂

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hmm dont rush.. First, asking him ow his day went is boring, second you suddenly asked if he wanted to flirt. Its like you’re opening yourself to be his friend with benefits.. third, the message from other guys probably came across as disrespectful and obvious that you were trying to make him jealous, so he was annoyed..

      I think you need to apologize, just say, sorry that made you uncomfortble.It was a joke, that was not my intention.. and then rest for a week before initiating again..

    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      Hi Amor, thank you for your advice 🙂 I sent him a video of his birthday gift, it’s an explosion box including our sweet memories. He watched it and texted to me that he had finished watched the whole video, saying thank to me, and “I really want you to find someone can give you a true love.” I cannot stop myself to tell him the truth that I still think of him and love him, and almost 2 months passed by I was silence because I wanted to give him time to focus on his PhD study and to think clearly about our relationship. I also told him that I know that the hard situation will come with any relationship, but I have to move on (like what he told me to do, that he wants to start a new relationship with new girl, he doesnt want to begin again with me) and I will not wait for him, giving chance for others guys if they’re really interested in me, though I will not rush. I told him that time will show. After all, he kept his silence. I think i made mistake by letting him know that I still love him.

      I think I start NC rule again. But what I have to say in our next conversation? It seems that he absolutely decide not to come back 🙁 What do you think?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Yes, he has moved on and that’s what he wants you to do too.. The only chance he will be willing to start over as friends is if he’s sure you have moved on

  12. Carole - 0

    Carole

    We broke up 5 weeks ago with my boyfriend for 2,5 years. Our relationsip became a distance relationship after 8 months. We were living in two different countries. We managed to meet once in a month. We were both affording financially and physically to see each other. Everytime we met, we spent amazing time together. We visited more than 15 countries together, shared so much. We wee talking every day, every hour by texts. We were planing to move to same country. I mean I was going to move to the country that he is living. He was looking me jobs, always telling how much he wants me to be there with him.

    One day, I told him I was a bit afraid to move abroad to be with him, because it has been so long that we were not in the same places. We met so many people, we grew up in different places, so I actually do not know what I was going to see if I move to the country where he is. He was like: “Yes, I fell the same. “I was totally dssapointed. Although I told him I felt lost, I expected him to tell we will be perfect and will be so happy. We were trying to be in the same country for almost 1,5 years, so I really believed this s what he wants.

    After that phone call, I texted him. I told the phoone call made me so confused. I told I have to know he is sure he wants me to come there because it is a life time decision. He told me he doesnt know. He doenst know about us because we lives far for so long. I was misserable. I was crying, and textin him really bad words. He was till nice to me. He was telling what I really wanti I couldnt tell him, I want to move no matter what because he was telling me he is not sure.

    After one day, we made another call. He was so cold. I couldnt belive how he can be taht much cold after I jus said “I am lost” 1 day ago. He started to tell me he does not want to make me sad, we are on different pages, I expect him to marry me, but he needs time to that, and he is not sure. I deserve to have my dreams. I was crying so much. I was telling what is imperfect about me and I will change it. He told me I am a perfect girl. I am the most beautiful girl he has ever dated, but we are different and we are different goals. Okey. I was aware what he was telling, but I didnt want to accept. because we had these conversation before, and we fail to implement break up. Therefore, I was still hoping this time he cannot implement it but he was sounding so serious. I told him I do not wnat to break up. He told he wants to breakup, and he does not wnat us anymore…

    I didnt have anything left to tell him. I had to accept although I was crying. The day after I was misserable, I was crying. Another day I sent him a text teling that he wants me to delete our pics on facebook or not. He said he wants them to stay because they are part of us. He was telling me he loves me just 1 day before our break up. I asked him if it was a lie, and he told me no it is not a lie. He was so nice and after that we send some texts to each other. I decided to send him a kindly good luck message, and he sent me the same kind of message and thats it.

    He likes my pics on instagram, I fell he is stalking me, but maybe he is not. He hurt me so much although I know he s doing that to not hurt me much more in the future.

    I promise myself to never conatct with him again. Anyway I have to let him go if he wants this. I want to move on too.
    But I really want to know he oves me or not. What do you think? What is your recommendation?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Carole,

      I think he still loves you.. What do you really want, to try or move on?

  13. Queen - 0

    Queen

    Hi there! My ex boyfriend and I broke up last September 2016. He was my high school batch mate and our relationship lasted for about 3 months only because it was in a long distance relationship. Actually, we never fight and argue we just decided to end our relationship in peace but we remained friends until now. The problem is that I’m getting confused if he still like or love me? Or he wants our relationship back again? The fact that he always react on my posts on social media, he never missed to watch every stories I made on IG, he liked or loved my posts on FB, chat me once in a while to know what I’m up to, sometimes Facetime, etc. I admit, I still love him until now. The only problem is the distance and timezone between the two of us. 🙁

    Reply
  14. prisringos - 0

    prisringos

    It’s hard to do the no contact rule when he is your classmate in school , and by for ththat is very unavoidable. Although I’m not exactly planning to get back together with him, only time can tell. For now i really wish i could be friends again with him like we were before but it has become a bit awkward between us—I really want to make good memories with him this year, what should I exactly do?

    Reply
  15. Lynn - 0

    Lynn

    I met the most amazing guy a few months ago, he wouldn’t stop looking at me. He text me and we became good friends, he asked me to meet up as friends and we had the most amazing time together. He told me he adored me and after asking me out for the third time, I said I would be his girlfriend. We have text, morning day and night, he has met my parents, stayed at my house. He told me I was his everything. We live a couple of hours drive away, which did worry me at first but we see each other on a Saturday, we Skype and we text all the time. If I had a boyfriend that lived next door I wouldn’t have time to see him anymore than that. A few days ago he messaged and asked if we could go back to how we were at the beginning, get to know each other all over again. He likes me and needs me so much that it worries him, he can’t trust himself with me and he’s scared of hurting me, also the distance worries him. He needs me in his life but he’s confused. He goes on to say he’s not well and he’s not happy, he doesn’t know why. Everything isn’t right in his life. He wants us to see how things go. His brother broke up with his long time girlfriend over Christmas, that seems to be when he changed. I love him dearly, we had no contact for a few days although he did message me but there were no kisses so I ignored him. Last night I just text to see if he was ok, he says he’s not well, hadn’t met anyone else, just not happy with life. What do I do?

    Reply
  16. Radhika - 0

    Radhika

    hii..mam as i told you my bf had broke relation before 3 month..i did not met him till now.i mean face to face he did not say that he dont want to stay in a relationship..can you tell me that i ask to his friend that i want to met and clear all the issues.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Radhika,

      I dont suggest breaking nc to talk to him but if that’s what’s going to help you realize what your next step is, then go ahead and talk

  17. Radhika - 0

    Radhika

    hi.mam..i started the NC rule before four days.my boyfriend broken the relationship before 2 and half month.but in the mean time i begged him for relation and love but he ignores me.he get a high level job and he made his mind with full of ego attitude.should i carry this rule or met him to solve the situation.i want to get back respect and love.he had family responsibilty , i know he love me but he did not want to talk with me.please give me suggestion mam.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work. It means it’s not sure if it will work but it doesn’t mean it will not work. So, it’s still better to do it than chase your ex or not do anything. Start it. Do at least 45 days and improve yourself. Do new things and grow. Check the links below:
      The Ungettable Girl
      Here’s How To Deal With Anxiety In Your Breakup

  18. Radhika - 0

    Radhika

    mam you told me that NC rule will not work. chasing him is not good.but when he broke the relation i begged him for relationship in august he said yes we will continue.but in september he said i have no time from office after september in october he said we remain with good friends but now in january he don’t call me and message me.even he blocked my number frome everywhere.my fault is that i had not met him since 3 months.but now i start NC rule .please tell me will this rule be right to get back him in my life or i should met him.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work. It means it’s not sure if it will work but it doesn’t mean it will not work. So, it’s still better to do it than chase your ex or not do anything. Start it. Do at least 45 days and improve yourself. Do new things and grow. Check the links below:
      The Ungettable Girl
      Here’s How To Deal With Anxiety In Your Breakup

  19. mekah - 0

    mekah

    Me an my ex been broke up for 7 months now an he has a girlfriend who he got with a week after we broke up. He rides past my house when he’s not with her he wants to stop an talk. He calls me some time. He acts like he still interested we was together for 5 1/2 years. What should I think about this. Is it a chance?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Mekah,

      he probably misses you but do you to want try the no contact rule?

  20. Mary john - 0

    Mary john

    Hi!
    I breakup with my bf few days ago, the reason is i do wrong by testin him if he loves me or not. I use another number that he doesnt have, i chart with him for almost two days and at th end he told me to come at his city so that we can knw each other well all those time he ddnt knw that he was chatin with me so i get angry after that i decide to tell me the truth that he was chatin with me, because i was angry i end up told him that we need to breakup and the only thing he say is ok that hurt me a lot..
    I still lov him i dont knw what to do, he ddnt text or call since we breakup, i cant stop thinking about him..plz give me an advice.what am supporse to do cz am real in pain.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Mary

      it might have been wrong to test him that way but he failed. How do you trust him after that? The thing is, he’s beating you in your own game. Isn’t he supposed to be the one who’s worried that he got busted that he’s about to date somebody else?

  21. Radhika - 0

    Radhika

    hi..mam my boyfriend manish sharma.hr broke the relation before two months.when our relationship began he was on small post in a company .after passing time he left his job and get permotion in another job.all the time was good.but suddenly he lost his job and than he get well setteled job in a good company.but now he has lots of attitude ego and he said that he don’t want to remain in a relationship.what should i do mam to get back in my life with love and respect.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but it’s better than chasing him.. do you want to do it?

  22. Liz - 0

    Liz

    My boyfriend and I broke up a little over a week ago. He’s from Puerto Rico and he went home for the holiday on our college break. We both go to school in the same city. He and I fought a lot about the fact that when he was home I didn’t hear from him as much as I wouldve liked to. I would go hours without hearing from him. Recently we got into a big fight about it when we typically don’t fight at all. This is the only thing we fight about. He broke up with me and gave me these excuses, that I can’t handle him being gone, he thinks my parents are difficult and doesn’t like him, he needed to focus on school, and he wants to be alone right now. He is the type of person that shuts down and retreats when he gets overwhelmed so I gave it a few days to let him cool off. I asked him to contact me so we could talk it out and because he’s in PR It had to be on the phone and he did. But his mind did not change. Our relationship was great minimal fighting, super happy, great sex, a happy 19 months together. We have a ton in common when it comes to interests and really know how to handle one another. He feels really bad about the breakup. He is now on a cruise with his family and we talked again right before about how he’s going to take time to reflect while he’s gone for these 11 days with no contact with me. That is how things were left. Please help me. I know he still cares and loves me. The only thing that worries me is that he said he didn’t feel the same. But that could very well be due to the fact that he doesn’t understand that eventually the infatuation goes away and is replaced with a more mature and functional love. He still did things to show he loved me and cared about me everyday and might be just saying that because he’s mad. He blindsided me and never let on that he wasn’t feeling the same. Right before he left for PR everything was great although I was anxious about him leaving. Oh and last thing. I was supposed to go on this cruise with him but my parents put up such a fight it was miserable. I’m not sure what to think. He promised to meet up and let me know when he’s coming back from college break but I’m anxious about what he’s going to say. What do you think is going to happen given the info I gave you? That’s all that I can think of. Thank you for whatever you can help me with.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Liz,

      how old are you both? did he break up because of your parents or because you’re clingy?

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