By Chris Seiter

Updated on March 16th, 2021

Today we are going to take a good look at the signs an ex will exhibit that will prove that they will eventually come back.

Perhaps the most interesting thing is that the signs I talk about today are relevant even if you have had an ex say any of the following to you,

  • I don’t love you anymore
  • I don’t have feelings for you
  • We can just be friends
  • Go ahead and date other people
  • Look, I only think you’re physically attractive

Sounds too good to be true, right?

Well, it’s not I assure you.

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5 Signs That Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back

Now, I’ve written an article similar to this one a few years ago but after going through that article I realized that it is not only outdated but it fails to capture anything outside of generic observations.

That’s a mistake I won’t be making with this one. After much thought I’ve settled on five distinct signs that an ex will eventually come back to you.

I arrived at these five signs by literally compiling all of my success stories and looking for what patterns developed.

Without further ado here are the five signs.

  1. They Tell You They Want To Be Friends But Their Actions Tell A Different Story
  2. They Make Some Statement About YOUR New Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
  3. Your Conversations Gradually Become Longer And More Intense
  4. You Feel More “UG”
  5. Exchanging Items May Be More Important Than You Realize

Let’s take an in-depth look at each of these signs.

Sign #1: They Tell You They Want To Be Friends But Their Actions Tell A Different Story

If you’ve read any of my other articles then you’ll have probably run across my words vs actions theory.

I promise it’s not anything too complicated.

Essentially I make the case that you should never take anything anyone tells you in a dating scenario at face value.

All that matters is what they do.

Their actions.

Now, most of the time when I work with clients their ex is doing or saying something to completely string them along.

“Of course baby I love you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll break up with her soon”

Except when push comes to shove the actions don’t line up with what you’ve been lead to believe.

What’s interesting is with exes who are considering coming back to you it seems this ideal gets flipped on its head.

Where most exes “string you along” exes who are interested in getting back with you say some comment meaning to end things with you forever while their actions tell a different story.

For example, if an ex tells you that they are done and just want to be friends but their actions tell a different story it’s a good sign.

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Remember, what matters most is paying attention to what your ex does as opposed to what they say.

Sign #2: They Make Some Statement About Your New Boyfriend or Girlfriend

If you’ve familiarized yourself with my program then you’ll have without a doubt learned about my theory of commitment.

One of the pillars to getting a man to commit to you is by creating a sense of urgency by utilizing the concept of FOMO.

FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out

Potentially one of the best ways to create this fear of missing out is to go on dates with someone new and try some of our patented light jealousy techniques.

Interestingly we’ve noticed a pattern developing amongst exes who are interested in rekindling things amongst our clients who employ these light jealousy patterns.

Of course, in order for me to properly explain how this works I need to let you in on one of the jealousy techniques we’ve taught our clients.

The “Date” Jealousy Picture Technique

Here’s how this works.

Let’s assume that you and your ex are friends on Facebook and you have gone out on a date with someone new.

On that date you’ve been taken to a nice place to eat. Now, you’re never one to let an awesome opportunity like this slip through your fingers so you decide to take a picture to remember the experience.

It just so happens the picture you have taken includes your dates arm in it.

You post the picture on Facebook and your ex will eventually catch wind of the fact that you were out with someone.

They can see someone was on a date with you.

They grow curious and can’t help themselves so they reach out to you with this text,

(So, whose the new boyfriend/girlfriend?)

This tips their hand a little bit as it shows they are bothered that you were out with someone else.

And perhaps the most hilarious part about this whole thing is that you don’t even have to be out on a date to illicit this kind of reaction.

You can just go out with a couple of friends and take the picture with their elbow.

Less is more.

Here’s what matters.

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If your ex goes fishing about who you were on a date with it’s a very good sign and it has been a consistent sign we’ve sign with exes who have eventually come back.

Sign #3: Your Conversations Gradually Become Longer And More Intense

Contrary to popular belief, true attraction isn’t the type of thing that happens instantly.

Sure, the romantics will claim love at first sight exists but what they are talking about isn’t “love,” it’s chemical.

Within five seconds we can determine if we find someone attractive or not. When that happens our brain fires chemicals that create all kinds of warm fuzzy feelings.

It’s possible that we can “feel love” in this instant but more often than not it’s going to take more than a “first sight” to convince a stranger to enter into a full blown relationship with you.

Most of the time the way you can build that relationship is through conversation.

By sharing your thoughts and feelings you create a certain amount of trust with your partner to the point that they start weighing you as a potential mate.

Have you ever heard my concept on “tide theory?”

Tide Theory: The gradual process in which attraction is built. It becomes so subtle that it can be compared to the process of a low tide becoming a high tide.

Think about the actual process of a tide going from low to high.

If you were to sit at the beach for 24 hours and observe the process you would have an extremely hard time noticing the exact moment that it went from low to high.

It’s so gradual and subtle that everything just unfolds naturally.

Attraction being rebuilt with an ex kind of works in this way. One thing that my team and I have noticed is that our clients who tend to get their exes back have longer conversations the deeper they get into the process.

But it isn’t just about having longer conversations with your ex.

Quality matters just as much as quantity.

That means that if you are having long, in depth conversations with your ex consistently it’s an extremely good sign.

It always shocks me that more people don’t talk about this concept but it’s something that I recommend keeping an eye out for.

Sign #4: You Feel More “UG”

In 2013 I wrote an article called “The Ungettable Girl.”

In the article I talk about how every man has this version of an ideal woman that he is constantly seeking out.

Every man has a different version of what this woman looks like.

When I wrote the article I knew it was good but I don’t think I quite realized how revolutionary it would become for my readers.

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For example, in our private facebook support group you’ll constantly see women posting pictures of all the amazing things they are doing with the caption,

If this isn’t “UG” I Don’t Know What Is

Being Ungettable maybe started out as being about attracting men but it turned into something far more meaningful.

It’s all about taking control of life on your terms and watching as the world finds you more attractive for it.

What’s interesting is that when we talk to the women who have used the program to get their exes back they all cite that they’ve felt more “UG.”

They don’t outright say that it’s the entire reason that their ex came back to them but it’s become such a pattern that my team and I are beginning to believe that it’s an essential part of the process.

Think of it as the ultimate way to kill two birds with one stone.

Yes, if you’re Ungettable you can attract a man but it also allows you to master all aspects of your life.

In the end you’re in a better place emotionally and sometimes physically than you were when you went through the breakup to begin with.

Sign #5: Exchanging Items May Be More Important Than You Realize

This was perhaps the one sign that shocked me the most.

Here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery we have certain rules that we like to recommend to people when it comes to exchanging items during a no contact rule.

Usually those rules are pretty straightforward,

  • Look your best
  • Don’t get overly emotional
  • Try to engage your ex in a little conversation
  • End the engagement at the high point

At the beginning of this article I stated that when I set out to do the research for it I was looking to identify patterns.

These patterns ended up being the signs I am talking about now.

To be honest with you I’ve been doing this a very long time and nothing shocked me.

This was the one outlier.

I was not expecting “item exchanges” to matter so much.

However, I couldn’t discount the fact that it was a consistent pattern I noticed.

A lot of the people I interviewed pointed to the moment that they saw their ex again when they exchanged items as a definite turning point.

Now, I will say that all of the people I interviewed for this article were clients which means they followed the game plan that I laid out here.

Why is that relevant?

Simple, each one of them had some form of no contact under their belts before they did the item exchange with their ex.

So, what I think happened was that the little bit of no contact they had done served as a way of hyping up the item exchange.

In other words, a simple item exchange became much more meaningful.

So, what did the women who got their exes back do during this item exchange?

Three things stuck out to me.

  1. They ended the event prematurely
  2. They smiled a lot throughout the interaction
  3. They were extremely positive

That famous Frank Sinatra quote really sticks out to me here.

Sometimes the best revenge in life is massive success.

That is kind of the mantra many of these women lived by in their item exchanges.

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14 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back”

  1. Debbie

    August 9, 2022 at 2:01 am

    So my ex and I broke up nearly 3 years ago and have not seen each other in person in 2.5 years. Nearly 2 years after the breakup, he would sporadically reach out to me but I did not respond. Earlier this year, after yet another clear attempt on his part to get in contact with me, I called him and we spoke for 4 hours. He wanted to meet up, but then backed out of the plans. Fast forward to 2 days ago. He was sending me messages again trying to get my attention, then he followed up by calling. I picked up and during that 3 hour conversation, he said that the reason why he broke things off with me is because he felt like he didn’t bring anything to the table at the time (he was finishing up college and did not have a job lined up). His focus on the last year and a half was on getting his career set up. He said he neglected his personal life and said that he felt like his other half was missing. Then he said that I was his missing half and he confessed to thinking about me constantly. He says he “views me like a girlfriend” still. He even said he wants me to be a part of his life, even if it’s just as a friend. He had wanted to reach out and call many times before but was afraid of disrupting my life. He wants to see me soon and talks future things like taking me to a baseball game or meeting up for lunch. Some other things he mentioned are that he sometimes feels like he doesn’t deserve to have love as he isn’t where he wants to be in life yet, but I pointed out to him that no conditions will ever be perfect and you can work on getting your career off the ground and relationships simultaneously. I will admit this is a lot to digest and I have commitment issues (due to trauma from a previous relationship (different person) where I was very, very hurt). I still care for him and admit that I think of him constantly too and have for the longest time. He just started a new job but I want to see what he does with it first. I do want to see him, though it makes me nervous. I don’t want to put my cards all out on the table at this point and he was even okay with me not saying anything in response to his confession. How should I proceed? I was thinking of making boundaries, kind of like starting from scratch again, such as working way back for a second “first kiss,” etc.

  2. sandy

    September 13, 2020 at 9:04 am

    My bf and I go to college together dated for 6 months then covid hit and he had to go home in another state. We were going back and forth, FaceTime, texting, snapchat. He kept telling me how much he loved me, that he was thinking about our wedding. And then he started being really stressed out with being home with his toxic parents. He told me he was under a lot of pressure I just didn’t realize how much and out of nowhere he started hohumming around that he didn’t know if he could be in a relationship right now and it was nothing to do with me and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings and we broke up. I haven’t contacted him in 5 days but he just contacted me that it had Nothing to do with me he just had a lot going on he needed to deal with but wanted us to be cool because he didn’t want Me out of his life but he’d disappear if I wanted that and he’d understand. What do I say? Do I respond or continue no contact? Please help

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 2, 2020 at 9:21 pm

      You need to stick with NC as this is typical behaviour he is realising that you are not chasing him or going to reply when he feels like talking to you. Keep going and work on yourself in that time

  3. Natasha

    May 10, 2020 at 6:00 am

    Hi, I recently just broke up with my girlfriend five days ago and however she did send me a message telling me that her feelings has faded for me even before the break up and the causes of the break up is because of trust and we always fought and have arguments even for the small littlest thing and it’s the first time she initiated this break up her options for us being friends is possible but however it’s not on the table right now because my actions scares her and it’s too overwhelming what do I do? I’ve been sending emails and have yet to get a reply but I told her I’ll make amendments in what has been missing and I’ll wait for her .

    One of my mutual which is her best friend told me “ I think she already has someone” but I just said that was fast but I took it like a sprinkle of salt when she said that and this we’ve been together for almost 3 years plus and I do love her so much and I want her back

  4. Onwe Damian

    November 14, 2019 at 8:16 am

    Very nice and interesting article. Thanks

  5. Onwe Damian

    November 14, 2019 at 8:15 am

    Nice and very interesting article

  6. Lily

    November 12, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago. When we first broke up, he said he really wanted to be friends. After that, he would completely ignore me. Every time we saw each other we would make awkward eye contact but no conversation. The one time I said Hello, he said hi back, with hesitation. His close friend(of which I’m not fond of) had told me that he never wants me back. Yet his mother(who absolutely loves me) says she believes we will be back together eventually. When we initially broke up, his mother had told me that he cried and seemed upset. The next day he seemed perfectly fine, like it never happened. I took him off of all my social media, but neither of us blocked each other on our actual numbers. What does any of this mean? May there still be some interest in me? Is there a possibility of us getting back together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 12, 2019 at 8:49 pm

      Hi Lily so for your best chance you need to follow the program starting with a NC and then working on becoming Ungettable. The best thing you can do is read and implement the information on this website to help you through the stages confidently

  7. Kim

    November 6, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Hi there! My ex and I broke up a couple months ago. 3 weeks NC, he initiated contact first and we texted at least 1x a week last month. Recently he reached out to exchange some of the smallest items back to one mak there. When he asked me how to return mine items I simply said to keep them. Personally I wasn’t ready to see him in person and when I dropped off his item I think he was trying to avoid seeing me in person. I kept the text convo casual and even joked a little. But my question is; will he try reaching out or coming back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 10:44 pm

      Hi Kim, sometimes our exes do this so they can see us again to get a conversation started to see how you react to them. This is the opportunity to meet and show him how youve become Ungettable within 3 weeks. So, if you can give the impression of someone who is composed happy and indifferent to seeing him it will have a positive impact on him if you want to get him back

  8. Kiki

    October 17, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    Hey, I have a question. I broke up with my bf almost 2 weeks ago. He was texting his ex gf & lying to me about it until I saw the texts myself. How can I be the ex he comes back to & not go back to her? She’s the ex he really loved & had a long relationship with. She had him blocked on everything for a long time & now they have added each other back on social media. He keeps saying he’s not talking to her & doesn’t want to be with her but his texts to her say different. He was drunk telling her he still loves her & she laughed at him & another time asking her to get dinner she said no. She rarely responds to him because she knew he had a gf but the way she has acted seems like she’s applying the same methods. How can I be the ex he comes running back to & not run back to her? Is there a good chance that can happen? Any time we’ve broken up he’s always come back. This is this first time he’s been fine with it & I think it’s because of her. What do you think?


    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 20, 2019 at 8:55 am

      Hi Kiki I think he has a grass is greener mentality because hes remembering her through the good times at the moment, they will end again if they havent done the work to be good for each other. So for you to be the better woman you need to work on yourself during this time and be the best version of yourself so he feels hes lost someone great in you. The fact your on and off again means there is work needed to see what breaks you up all the time i know this time was the OW but you need to think why are break ups happening in this relationship.

  9. Christien Groothof

    October 1, 2019 at 10:13 am

    Hi there
    I am struggling.
    Im divorced, my ex husband has a new girlfriend.
    He was sure to try again. Now he is not sure at all.
    We both very attracted to each other, we met up a few times and spoke about how to do it differently going forward. We slept together more than once and it was best ever.
    Where to from here?
    I really want us to try to make it work and im sire he wants too, but he is scared.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 1, 2019 at 7:48 pm

      Hi Christien, you need to look up the being there method. And for the time being don’t sleep with him again unless you are committed relationship again and hes left the other woman