Have you ever had an ex boyfriend say,

There is no way that we’ll ever get back together… Ever…

Think Taylor Swift but ten times worse and without the dancing!

Most women hear that and they are crushed. They literally look out the window and think the apocalypse has happened.

But does an ex boyfriend TRULY mean it when he says “we aren’t getting back together” or is it just an “in the moment” reaction to the breakup?

Well, that’s what I’d like to explore today.

And I’d figured the best way to explore that would be to take a look at one of my latest success stories.

I’d like to introduce you to Buffy!

Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our Quiz

Wait, What Do You Mean Buffy?

Ok, this one might need an explanation.

For those of you who aren’t “in the know” when you buy Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO I actually give you an opportunity to join a Private Facebook Group where I help women through breakups. One of the coolest things about this is I am always doing “Facebook Lives” on the group where I just take questions for about an hour.

Well, one day a woman joined one of the Facebook Lives named “Sarah Michelle.”

Now, me being the Buffy aficionado that I am couldn’t help but compare her to Sarah Michelle Gellar (AKA: Buffy)

Well, turns out that our Buffy doesn’t just slay vampires she gets exes back as well. Watch the video below to learn more.

Update To Buffy’s Situation

So, I wanted to come back to this post and update it since there has been a development with Buffy’s situation.

Turns out that yesterday our little Buffy got engaged to her ex!

Yep, and here’s my proof,

So, what’s the moral of the story?

Well, if your ex boyfriend tells you that “he hates you” or that “you’ll never get back together” he doesn’t always mean it. In fact, it seems like more of a reaction than anything. Just ask Buffy, she knows!

If you would like to learn more about how to get your ex boyfriend back please check out,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Interview Transcript

  • Ok so, you were probably one of the more interesting people I think I’ve ever had on because you’re a part of the Facebook group and I call you Buffy, because your name is like Sarah Michelle Gellar right? So, we have Sarah Michelle here and she actually got her ex back. What’s up?

  • What’s up?

  • What’s up Buffy? So, how are you doing? How are things and everything? For those of you who don’t know, she got her ex back. She’s a part of group and a this the first time we’re actually officially meeting. She’s like attended a few Facebook live and everything and I’ve obviously answered her questions but it’s really cool to actually meet Buffy in person. Don’t slay me or anything but–

  • Now, you know like–I’m actually doing really, really good. I mean before all of this, I was actually engaged.

  • Engaged–were you engaged with this particular guy?

  • My boyfriend–yeah. We were engaged. He broke it off.

  • Of course.

  • Yeah, he broke it off.

  • -Left at the altar. No, no, no, for real. Someone in the Facebook group yesterday was literally left at the altar. She came and said like the guy’s mom, like she had the dress on, the guy’s mom–that’s crazy!

  • I was supposed to be getting married actually. It was like months. So, I had already started buying things like we bought a house together–

  • Well what you are–for  a young person, you are moving quick girl.

  • Yeah, I actually bought my first house with money all by myself. Thankfully his name wasn’t on it. It’s just me but we bought a dog together and literally went the whole 9 yards, been together for 2 1/2 years and all of  a sudden, like we just moved in on the south like 3 months ago and he’s like, “I’m not happy. I’m leaving.”

  • So, like where there’s no signs whatsoever at all?

  • No and I didn’t understand it. He went to the gym at 8 o’clock at night and came back home at 1 in the morning. I’m calling where the hell are you? It was just the weirdest thing. It was just so out of nowhere and I see all this girls on like the Facebook live, like their ex tells them, “I don’t love you anymore” like, “You’re too much” like, “We’re never going to be together again,” I heard all those things, all of them.

    I heard every single one of those things come out of his mouth. When it came down to it, I found out he didn’t mean any of it, none of it. And I think that’s the hardest thing to comprehend, when you’re going through it because I feel a lot of the girls like in the Facebook page, all the guys say that and like when you hear it, like you just don’t understand at all.

  • The crazy thing is I try to explain to people, it’s like, well he’s in a moment where maybe he’s feeling that at that particular moment but in the grand scheme he doesn’t really mean it and it just kind of goes in one ear and out the other. It’s obviously you kind of have hindsight because you got him back. So, you can kind of obviously look back and see that but for someone really struggling, they’ll have a hard time swallowing that pill.

  • Yeah, when you first hear it you’re devastated. You are absolutely 03:19 because you’re like, are you kidding me? Like that is so deceiving from everything you’ve been telling me and everything you said but I honestly, it’s like emotions that are running high. When like if you’re in the moment you say things you don’t mean and I think it’s really hard for us girls to really understand that.

  • Yes. So, take me through the timeline. How did you find exboyfriend recovery? Sort of, go through your journey through–I’m assuming you searched on Google or something. That seems what everyone does. I need to diversify my traffic a little bit more. I need to start like paying for ads and billboards or something because I’m getting a little to relying on Google traffic.

  • Well, when I was first looking because I was just like–I was honestly looking for how do you get your ex back kind of like and when I started typing in like random different things, nothing came up. Nothing like–like I saw there was an article that was like how to get your ex back for sure 04:19reading it. It was honestly like the exact same thing you did but like it had weird, it was just the weirdest set up on how to do things.

  • So, one of the things that people don’t necessarily realize but I realize because I’m sort of in the business is, a lot of this web masters who really don’t are about people. They’ll hire someone from India to write the article for them and so you will read and Google is not smart enough to pick it up.

    I think if you like go to Google right now and type in how do you get your exboyfriend back, you’ll find like one of the featured snippets in Google is someone who has broken English, who’s trying to teach someone to get their ex back. So, it’s like not necessarily the best information out there.

  • Yeah, I know because honestly like Googling s**t was my last resort. All my friends were like leave it alone like it’s done, it’s over, get over it, like even my family they’re like it’s just move on. You’re going to be ok and it’s like the hardest thing to accept because nobody is actualy going through it, you are at that point.

  • Yeah, you are totally isolated. So, you have this one need to get your back and you know I talk about this on the website. Your friends and family, they can be an incredible support system but at the same time it’s not necessarily like they’re on your side a 100% of the time.

  • No, because their thinking process is you know, especially for me because I’m young. It’s like, oh you’re young, you got to move on.

  • More fish in the sea, that kind of spiel.

  • Exactly. It gets really old because I think we have the mentality that if it’s meant to be, it will be. It kind helps you get through it.

  • I’m also curious. You said Google was your last resort, did you also like go to Youtube, go to Yahoo to like try to find anything you could on it?

  • To be honest, my  main source was Google. It was Google. I actually came across your website, and then I started looking through it and like you had a podcast that was going out–

  • So, you listened to the podcast.

  • I listened to the podcast and that’s how I was like, “Ok, we’ll I’ll give it a shot.” And so, I was actually at work listening to the podcast.

  • That podcast, it ranks in Itunes. It’s not like the top Itunes broadcast thing but you’d be struck at how many customers I actually get through that podcast and I’m even shocked because I feel like it’s a lot of effort I have to continually interview people. Before when I first started, I would just like answer people’s random voice mail questions. I don’t know if you had like tuned in to some of those episodes or tuned in to the more recent interviews or the interviews of the experts out there.

  • The one that I listened to was, I don’t remember which one. I really don’t remember which one it was but it was like the one where you were like promoting. I think you were just starting your Facebook page. You only have like 80 members in it.

  • So, it was early, early on. Now, the Facebook group grows every single day which is kinda cool. If I had started 5 years ago, it would probably be over like a 100,000 people by now. But I can’t even imagine–I think last I checked, it was 213 and like last week it was like 190 or 150 or something. It just grows constantly.

  • Yes, it’s crazy how quickly it’s grown.

  • I just really just started it like a month ago.

  • I was like the 75th member.

  • Right, yes.

  • It’s really cool to see it growing.

  • Yeah, that’s been one of the best thing. It’s absolutely my favorite thing to do because I love jumping on a Facebook live. I feel like people will get their money’s worth when they buy the product and stuff and then go into the Facebook group and they get sort of like a group of women to help support through things. I’m there, my wife is there, I jump on Facebook live.

  • It’s perfect. It is absolutely perfect. I think that’s what separates you from the other programs because you have that actual support that’s there.

  • So, let me ask you, Did you end up taking the quiz on the website?

  • I did and I couldn’t figure out how to like get it. I never got like an email for anything.

  • Really? It’s funny. I’m actually going to hire a designer to completely redesign the website. It’s going to be expensive of course but it’s going to look like–it’s this guy who works for Apple. He’s like one of the top top people. So, we’re trying to streamline the quiz and make it better because so many people like that quiz but we have had some issues with it but I find most of the people take the quiz and then they will jump on the webinar and then you know, they’ll buy the products, get into the group and sort of –I don’t know if that’s sort of the trajectory you took.

  • Because I took the quiz and then I got an email about the webinar–and then I joined it, like ok, well. And then it was like promoting your product and that was when I think you first were launching your Facebook too.

  • Literally it just had started out. Right when I started doing those webinars is right when the Facebook group was sort of kind of fruition and I think when we started , we had like beta tested it with like 15-20 members. And so, we didn’t have like a ton of people but I had done it maybe like 3-4 months before. We just had 15-20 members in this Facebook group and they stayed active.

    You’ve probably seen Mirka right? She’s one of the very original people that was in this beta test where we just like literally trying to test out and see if people would like it. And so we would just ask people like, “Would you like us to continue the Facebook group?”

    Obviously an overwhelming yes, but you know now it’s really starting to take off now that we’ve kind of incorporated in into the products. It is a little bit exclusive meaning you can only get to it if you buy exboyfriend recovery pro but I think it’s probably worth the money alone, you know?

  • Yes, definitely. I couldn’t agree more. It’s literally the best thing because you get live support, you get help from other women who are going through the same thing and you get like live Facebook because you do live all the time. Honestly, that itself like, you could do that and I think you would be fine.

  • Yes, it’s interesting how it all sort of comes to fruition. Sometimes I just have a spur of the moment like an hour in the schedule and I’m like, “I’ll just do one of this Facebook live”. It’s like sporadically all throughout the day but usually it’s like 3 or 4 times a week.

    And then I would always see you jump on right? And I always call you Buffy because it was like– I was for some reason watching Buffy at time and it’s all Sarah Michelle and I was like, “Oh, Sarah Michelle Gellar”. So, I would like just like jump back and forth.

    Let’s talk a little bit about your ex. What did you do to get him back? What resources did you like really leaned on?

  • I’m not going to lie. It was really hard like the no contact rule. That is the hardest thing I ever had to do. For about a month, I did on and off no contact because he would randomly just show up at my house. It was the weirdest.

  • So, it’s really difficult to like stick to it if he’s like showing up at your doorstep.

  • It was hard. He would just randomly just show up at my house if I didn’t answer. That was his thing. If I didn’t answer, he would just show up at my house. My biggest leeway was his best friend was actually talking to me. His best friend was like–

  • Oh, he always had like a thing for you or something?

  • No, to be honest, I actually dated his best friend before.

  • Ok, so he’s got a little bit of the jealousy. He’s probably thinking, “Oh god, they’re sleeping together.” or something like that.

  • Well, that was one of his biggest fears but his best friend was just helping me. Like his best friend talked to me and stuff like that.

  • Yes, he was “helping” you. Yeah, I get it. No, I’m just kidding!

  • He was really good about like talking about what was going on with him. So, that was how I kind of knew what he was doing. Because we broke up a little over a month ago when we first broke up, I have to have friends stay with me because I just couldn’t handle it and then I don’t know–the biggest thing that helped was honestly the no contact rule. It really was the best thing that I could have done and just the kind of getting yourself together like doing new things, like showing yourself off is a big thing.

  • So, how did you do that though?

  • Your wife 13:31 posted something on I had posted about like how to dress and she had like this video. She actually posted it online but I ended up going and looking at them anyway. And I actually learned how to put on extensions in that way.

  • Really from my wife? That was like–I can tell you the story about that particular–we were like in her parent’s house, and it was like the most like–everything was like crunched together. We have like no space. We both were like, “Ah, this isn’t going to turn out good. No one’s going to like this.” We posted it to the website. No one commented on it. Like hardly any people viewed it. So, I’m actually really shocked that that helped you out because we’re kind of been like giving up on it.

  • It literally caught his attention. Your wife is the reason that I learned how to do it.

  • So, we’ll give her the credit for your success. I won’t take the credit this time.

  • I went out, bought new clothes, I actually dyed my hair, put in extension and like he noticed me right off the bat because I was posting pictures and that’s like–

  • So, you’re doing it on like Facebook or social media or things like that?

  • Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, like I was posting this stuff all the time and he was noticing it. And it wasn’t until I started hanging out with other guys and like actually attempting to date other people that I got a reaction from him.

  • So, what was that like? What was the reaction you got out of him when you started doing those things?

  • That was when he started calling me constantly. That was when he was like Facetiming me. That was when I like my phone was constantly getting blown up.

  • This was all happening during the no contact period. Well, you’re attempt, it’s just kind of hard when he shows up at your doorstep and everything. So, how long did you make it like really before he started to crack down and just came back and said, “Can I get you back.”

  • So, my little first with no contact, the first one was for about 6 days. Second one, they were all like 6 day increment but the last time–

  • So, it wouldn’t be you that would break it. It would be like him doing something like showing up at your door.  So, technically, there’s like nothing you can do to control that because it’s not like you can just say “F off!”

  • Yes. He would just randomly show up at my house because I wasn’t answering him.

  • I think those are positive things though generally. Obviously in your case.

  • Yes, it wasn’t until my final round, it was then about close to 30 days that I hadn’t really talked to him and it was 4 days of no contact technically, if you really think about because he showed at my door before then but it was 4 days because the first day I didn’t hear from him at all.

  • So day 1 after the break up you don’t hear from him whatsoever?

  • The first week I didn’t hear from him at all. And then he came, got his stuff. You know, stuff like that. I don’t know if that’s really considered breaking it.

  • No, that  falls within the realm of you know, that’s ok.

  • He came, got his stuff and then we didn’t talk for about like 6 days after that and then–because he was trying to call me but I wasn’t answering him and so, he showed up at my house again. And then what happened after that–and then another 6 days and he showed up at my house again just because I’m not–

  • He’s consistent, you got to give him that. Every 6 days, he’s going to show up at your house.

  • Yes! Right after that, –this is the last time, the 4 days where he first of all didn’t talk to me and then on the second day, he called me  6 times. Literally called me 6 times and I didn’t answer. He left me a voice mail, “Pick up your phone!” And so, I didn’t talk to him. Third day, he called me 6 times and then he Facetimed me twice, Snapchatted me, he had his friends calling me because I wouldn’t answer.

  • So, no contact is definitely working on this guy.

  • Yes and I never thought it would. I really never thought because he actually told me we’re never getting back together.

  • Ok, he prefaced it with probably, “I’d never loved you before or we’re never going to get back together.” All of that kind of stuff.

  • I got the I haven’t loved you for 2 months spiel.

  • Oh ok. You’ve seen it around the Facebook group, I’m sure.

  • Basically on the 4th like, I didn’t talk to him and then I got this random text like, “Hey”. I didn’t answer. He texted me again, “It’s important. I need to talk to you.” And then was when I –because I’ve screenshot what he said to me and that’s when he was asking for me back.

  • Right, so how did the conversation go? Did you do this over text or was this over the phone?

  • He texted me about it and I told him let’s talk about it in person.

  • Ok, so how did it go in person?

  • In person, we actually sat down, laid out all of our problems and like I told him, I was like, “Look, I can’t do whatever it is you’re doing if you’re uncertain about us getting married.” Like obviously the wedding’s off because I am just not going to deal with it because we have no idea where this is going now because you know you broke off an engagement, you basically broke life together.

  • So, he’s basically going to rebuild some trust with you before you’re willing to sort of make that kind of commitment with him again.

  • Yes exactly and we decided we’re going to take things slow. I told him, let’s do a completely clean slate because I felt like that was the best thing for us because–like every couple, we’ve had our ups and downs and you know like, I just think the best thing for anybody who’s getting back in a relationship is to start over because if you’re not starting over, all that stuff is going to come right back up and you’re going to be right back at square one.

  • True. So, how is that working out for you so far? How long have you guys been back together exactly? Do you know? Is it like a month?

  • We’ve been back together for about a week now.

  • A week, so how is it going so far? You’re like kind of in the initial stages. I’ve seen the pendulum swing both ways. Sometimes it works out brilliantly, sometimes it’s another break up quickly after.

  • No, we’re actually doing really good right now because my biggest thing is that I’m not a very mellow person. I’m very high strung. I actually go to a therapist that kind of help me with my own problems and he’s working on his. So, we’re doing really, really well actually because I mean–I hate to say it but I think that break up was the best for us.

  • It’s not a bad thing sometimes. Maybe it was a good thing to slow down if he was unsure about like the marriage because that can get messy, especially you either have to annul it or get divorced or something.

  • I hate to say it but no matter how much it hurts, maybe it was for the best to kind of realize what was going on, like what we needed to fix because obviously there was some sort of communication problem that we couldn’t figure out and I hate to say it but I think maybe it was the best thing for us.

  • So, you’re pretty happy now though?

  • Oh yes.

  • Like where you’re at and you’re relationship with him?

  • I’m so happy. It’s not all flowers and roses.

  • Never is.

  • It’s not. Right now, what it is, is it’s work. I mean it’s not easy. That’s one thing I’ve really learned from this is that relationships are not easy. You have to give and you have to take and it has to be equal.

  • There are some compromises both people have to sort of make throughout the relationship for it to work I think. It seems like you are really easy to get along with. Looking back, you’re so calm about things. So, I guess you’re, sort of you’ve won. You got him back. Whereas, most of the women who are in the Facebook group are really struggling from day to day.

  • And that’s another reason why I like to hop on there because when I see something that’s kind of similar or if there’s anyway that I can help kind of give somebody some inspiration or some help, I want to and I think women really need to see that. That there is hope no matter what they’re saying to you or whatever is going on. There’s always still hope because guys want what they can’t have.

  • It’s very true. So, let me ask you. Let’s go back to kind of your struggles. When you’re really struggling through this break up, talk a little bit about how the Facebook group helped you specifically. Was it sort of that constant thing where you’re carrying around your phone all day just checking it to get your questions answered or just kind of like in the shadows trying to figure out from other people’s situations? How would use it?

  • I think I kind of did both because I wasn’t constantly posting but I wasn’t always–I would look to see who has a similar situation because I wanted to see how theirs is going because there were times where I felt like there was like no hope. I didn’t think anything was going to work. I thought that he wasn’t going to come back.

    I had those moments of complete weakness and I felt like I was failing and so that was when I would look at what other girls are going through and see what they’re doing and if I really just couldn’t figure out, I would post something and just kind of see what people are saying and see if I could– because I got a lot of support when I would post something. There was so much support. It helped a lot to be able to talk to them.

  • That’s why a love the Facebook group so much. It takes some of the pressure off of me because I can’t be everywhere at once. I’m one person and there’s like so many people out there who have break ups that are asking for help and everything but if you have a group of women sort of coming to the rescue, it helps everyone. It sort of like a group therapy type aspect to it.

  • Exactly. That was literally the best thing. You can’t ask for anymore support there because between your wife-because your wife helped me a lot.

  • She’s more active than I am. She hasn’t done any Facebook live yet. I’ve been trying to get her to do one. She’s always complaining about how she doesn’t have time and how she has to get ready. So, I’m stuck doing the Facebook live which I’m happy to.

  • Oh, those are great. I mean those are really great. It’s not technically one on one but at least, if you have a question that was like directly toward you because on a whole lot, like there’s that help right there and that support.

  • Like going back to my wife, she is the one who literally will go through and make sure everyone’s answered and her advice is actually really excellent. She’s really, really good at that texting advice and practical advice. I guess she knows how to manipulate men which I guess is kind of bad for me.

  • No, she’s great. She is awesome.

  • So now, here’s the other interesting thing I’ve noticed. Some people who buy exboyfriend recovery pro, they’re scared to join the group because they’re afraid that they’re afraid that their ex is going to see it right?

  • Oh, I don’t have that fear because I’m not going to lie, at first I was like are people going to see?

  • It’s private closed group, so no one can see it. So no one can see any of your posts or anything like that.

  • Because when you start posting things like, you think “Are my friends going to text me? Is somebody going to see?” I have not had anybody even see anything I’m doing on there. It’s just whatever I put on stays in that group.

  • Yeah, and so one of the big things too were sort of trying not to judge. One of the issues I think a lot of people have is their friends and family, they’re just not on their side and they`’ll judge and they’ll come in this preconceived notions.

    Now, I’m not going to lie, there are some situations where I don’t think a person should try to get back with their ex but generally speaking, we just try to work towards helping people get back with their exes which is why I’m so glad that Buffy the vampire slayer got her ex back!

  • Well, thank you!

  • So, give me your thoughts on I guess exboyfriend recovery pro. I don’t if you had a chance to read through the book at all. You did?

  • I did.

  • What did you think because that took forever to write. It was long. You got the longer version I’m sure but yeah..

  • To be honest, what I did, I took it piece by piece because if you read it all at one time, you’re just going to have no idea what to do.

  • It’s true. It’s a lot of information at once.

  • Yes, so what I did is I took it section by section and it felt like I was in the no contact phase, I read everything about the no contact first to make sure I don’t confuse myself.

  • That’s clever. So, as you’re basically doing that, as you’re in the middle of the no contact rule, you’re just reading the no contact sort of. You just become the master of that portion and as you moved up to texting, you would have read that. Luckily you don’t have to go all the way to the end.

  • -that far, I did what I could and then I was like, “Ok, I’m doing no contact. It’s going well.” Because I was about ready to get to that point. I read that texting part because I was like ok, I’m getting there. So, I should–for it. So, I took it section by section to make sure I followed each step correctly.

  • And luckily it worked out for you.

  • All my down time I would read like the ungettable girl, I would read like how to avoid fights. In my down time I would just read those because that was my biggest thing is when I saw him in person, I just want to be yelling at him.

  • So, did you by any chances check out the audio version at all and listened to any of it? Some people love it, some people don’t really use it a lot.

  • I didn’t use the audio version only because I couldn’t find it.

  • Oh really? Did you have the membership access to the like the area?

  • Yeah, I did but I couldn’t see anything on the membership access.

  • Yeah, that’s one thing that we’re actually on the process of updating. You joined really early on when we’re doing the Facebook group and everything but honestly that Facebook group seems to be constantly everyone who’s I talk to–sort of like–that’s the best asset.

  • Hands down that is the best. If you pair up the book–like if you pair that up along with the Facebook, that itself is like bulletproof in itself.

  • The idea is to get everything to kind of work synergistic-ally. So, you sort of get the overall strategy with the book and sort of this is your go to what to do and then anytime you’re sort of needing the personal help, you just come to the group and you get the help you need.

  • Yeah, it’s perfect.

  • The crazy thing is I don’t think it would have worked without Facebook because for some reason Facebook is so trusted and people are logging in constantly every single day. If this is was just like a forum behind like some sort of password protected thing, I just don’t think it would as active as it is because so many people go onto Facebook.

  • Personally, I think I would have had a much harder time had there not been Facebook. I would have probably like broke down multiple times and texted him and failed, like multiple times.

  • The interesting thing too is I’ve noticed that the success rate of the people who buy prob has gone up ever since we started using the Facebook group and my wife and I think it’s because so many people fail during that no contact period but when they’re on the Facebook group, they almost have people to hold them accountable. So, they actually stick through and they get better results.

  • Yes and not to mention like if you are fighting yourself to like text him or whatever, you can just go there and vent because I mean, like you’re friends don’t want to hear it anymore. I’m not going to lie, my friends didn’t want to hear it anymore. You can just go there and vent because every single girl there knows what you’re going through.

  • Some of the girls get really like into the situation that–I don’t know if you paid attention to Too New and the baby. Did you saw that situation?

  • Yeah, that was crazy!

  • It broke my heart with some of the things that this guy was doing to her but I guess that’s what I’m kind of getting at there. Like some situations have become sort of widely known. That Too New she had like so many people jumping in to help her. There was one girl who would like wanted to help her with the lawyer and all this like crazy stuff.

  • It’s perfect because you get all this support from other women. It’s a very comfortable place to talk. You can put your feelings out there without being judged.

  • The funny thing is a lot of people who are like kind of on the fence about it, they buy pro and then they like request to join in the group and then I add them, their first question is typically, can my friends see this or everything and Mirka or me or someone is coming in and it’s like “No, they can’t see it.”

    but there is that fear but eventually they come around and it becomes that safe space that you’re sort of mentioning there. It’s weird that they have like this skeptical view of it. It is a private group. It’s meant to be sort of in it’s own corner where no one can sort of see anything you’re posting.

  • I think that also comes with insecurity because you’re not sure–you don’t want him to see that you’re doing that because then he’s going to be like, well, why are acting crazy or something?

  • It’s the craziest thing. I always complain that we have so many people coming to our website but it’s like no one shares the website on the web because of the niche. Like no woman wants to admit that she wants to get her ex back in public.

    So, it doesn’t share well. One of the perfect stories to illustrate this is I remember right when I first started the website, I first wrote the book, it wasn’t very big and so I was like trying to get as many sales as I possibly could to just basically pay the rent and do all this stuff and I remember there was a girl on Facebook who reached out to me, she said, “Chris, I’m really interested in buying your book.” and I was like, “Yes! Ok”

    So, I write her back and everything and then she had done it on her wall and her ex had found it and he was like, “What is this about?” and so right there I lost the sale because she like closed up. But it made me think we need something that’s private so no one can see it and that’s sort of how the Facebook group came to be eventually but it came to be like –but yeah, that’s one of the funny stories I’ve gotten before.

  • 34:04

  • But some people are just not technical with Facebook. So, they don’t like know if their–she must have been thinking on her phone and she was like private messaging me and it was like public on her wall and so everyone saw it. So, you do have to kind of be careful before you post it and stuff.

  • Yeah, don’t make that mistake of actually posting it on your actual Facebook.

  • Do you have any kind of words of wisdom to leave the fine people listening to this podcast who are trying to get their exes back? Any kind of advice?

  • To be honest, my advice to all the girls out there is when they say this things like I don’t love you or they say to you that it’s not ever going to work. Don’t believe it. It’s all just an act because it’s just emotions running high. The best thing to do is when you’re in the no contact period is to work on yourself because when you’re working on yourself, they’re going to see it and they’re going to like every bit of it.

    Not going to lie you know because they’re going to see it. There’s no doubt about that. How can they not? If they’re in a relationship with you prior to this, they’re obviously checking up on you and there’s no such thing as no hope. There’s always hope. I want everyone out there to know that even in the most difficult situations, there’s always going to be hope and don’t ever lose that hope.

    I’ve been looking at Facebook page a lot lately and everybody kind of seems really down and like everybody seems like they’re losing that hope because– I think the hardest thing is that nobody thinks there’s success stories on there. So, it’s like–

  • Well, we’re going to start posting and I think directly like this one. There was another one I did yesterday. I think those kind of success stories can be–

  • It’s a motivation.

  • Yes. It’s something to strive towards. Like I said, we’re still trying to work out how the group is structured and everything but the reason I wanted to have you on was so people can see what’s possible if you do things the right way which you certainly did Sarah. So, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it. Take care.

124 thoughts on “He Told Her They’d Never Get Back Together…. He Lied!”

  1. Ru

    March 8, 2018 at 10:13 am

    Hi Amor,

    Thank you for your previous advice. It’s been a week now and he’s since said harshly that we’ll never get back together and that he hopes I find someone that I love…..he is the one I love and I will never search for the other guy. We’ve got exams coming up, so he doesn’t want to communicate for three months and said we can be friends, but I can’t just forget the three years we’ve been together. I know I messed up real bad, but what do I do? He’s honestly the only one for me and I can’t imagine doing all the amazing things in life without him. I’m scared that he won’t want me back or will move on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 7:34 am

      Don’t contact him because if you do you’ll be chasing.. And extend a month more weeks after 3 months before initiating contact so, that you don’t look like you’re just waiting..be active in improving yourself and build a new routine in your life..

  2. Ru

    March 5, 2018 at 9:28 am

    Hi Amor,

    thank you for your reply. He’s since contacted me via a friend saying that he loved me but he feels like I didn’t love him back and that he hopes i’ll find the one. He’s told me that we are never getting back together and doesn’t want to communicate with me for the next three months because we’ve got exams. I can’t stop thinking about him and want him back so bad but I’m afraid that he doesn’t want me like he’s said we are never getting back together. What do I do?

  3. Ru

    February 27, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Hey! Recently my boyfriend found out I online cheated on him…..not because I didn’t love him any less but because I’m so insecure about my body that when things were going rough in my relationship I looked elsewhere. I sent messages to him showing him how much I loved him, he kept reading them and eventually blocked me on all social media and my phone. I’m so heartbroken because I broke the only person who mattered to me and feel like I can never love, trust or be trusted again. What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2018 at 3:51 pm

  4. Mei

    January 17, 2018 at 4:05 am

    Hi amor, me again
    Thanks for your reply before

    Its my 10th days of NC and I’m feeling great about myself right now. I still hoping to get back with my ex.
    I have read almost all the articles, and I’m kind of confused right now about my situation. From your point of view for my story below, is he breaking up with me because he considered it as me cheating on him? Even though I told him the next day that I’m going with this guy?
    If so, should I apologize once more and do NC just for 15 days?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2018 at 7:32 am

      you’ve just been dating for 4 months.. and you already apologized.. you’ve broken up now too so if you keep apologizing, you will look like you’re chasing him.

  5. Mei

    January 7, 2018 at 8:15 am

    Hi Amor, its me again
    Thanks for your reply before

    I already told my ex about being friend is not working and thanking him for everything, and he told me thank you too for everything and ask me “so you’re done? you’ve decided to given up?”
    How should I respond to this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      Nothing.. He’s just trying to keep you talking to him

  6. Mei

    January 6, 2018 at 6:10 am

    Hi Amor, its me again
    Thanks for your reply ^^
    I forgot to tell you that he’s the type of person that has a very high ego, but he’s a very kind person for a man. Because he told me to move on and met someone else after we breakup, I got this feeling that he’s doing it on purpose knowing that he himself can’t move on from me if I’m not making a move first.. (he actually admit to me it will be hard for him as well) And when he knows that I’m having a great time without him, it will make him happy as well, knowing that I’m doing fine without him.
    Thats why I’m scared of doing NC. I’m gonna need your advice during this moment.

  7. Mei

    January 4, 2018 at 11:42 am

    Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me cause i’m going for a walk with a “gay” without his permission. I told him the next day about me going with this guy, and he got angry at me cause I didnt report to him the other day.
    I know its mostly my fault and its the second time I’m actually going with other guy without me telling him first.
    We’ve been dating for about 4 and half months, and he said that the reason he want to break up is not just because of me going with this guy, but also because I put a lot of pressure on him during our date (but he never mention what it is).
    He told me that he can never trust me again after what I did to him, and I actually beg for his forgiveness for about more than 1 hour and he still refuse me, saying it will never work. So I ask him if we can still be friends and keep chatting, and he said that its fine as long as I dont put a feeling to it and dont hope too much to get him back.
    I was planning on doing NC, but we already chat for almost 2 weeks after our breakup. And he still give me all the care he used to gave me during our relationship.
    My question is, will he find it weird if I suddenly do NC to him after chatting for almost 2 weeks? He once said that he still care about me, but doing a serious relationship will never gonna work this time, cause he cant trust me back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 10:40 pm

      HI Mei,

      send a clean slate text first.. tell him being friends is not workable for you now and thank him for everything and then start nc.

  8. Mei

    January 4, 2018 at 9:39 am

    Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me cause i’m going for a walk with a “gay” without his permission. I told him the next day about me going with this guy, and he got angry at me cause I didnt report to him the other day.
    I know its mostly my fault and its the second time I’m actually going with other guy without me telling him first.
    We’ve been dating for about 4 and half months, and he said that the reason he want to break up is not just because of me going with this guy, but also because I put a lot of pressure on him during our date (but he never mention what it is).
    He told me that he can never trust me again after what I did to him, and I actually beg for his forgiveness for about more than 1 hour and he still refuse me, saying it will never work. So I ask him if we can still be friends and keep chatting, and he said that its fine as long as I dont put a feeling to it and dont hope too much to get him back.
    I was planning on doing NC, but we already chat for almost 2 weeks after our breakup. And he still give me all the care he used to gave me during our relationship.
    My question is, will he find it weird if I suddenly do NC to him after chatting for almost 2 weeks? He once said that he still care about me, but doing a serious relationship will never gonna work this time, cause he cant trust me back. I just dont know what to do to get his trust back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 10:40 pm

      HI Mei,

      send a clean slate text first.. tell him being friends is not workable for you now and thank him for everything and then start nc.

  9. Geeta

    December 5, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    Hi
    In anger I askedmy bf to not text/contact me again. He hasnt. Un fact he gasnt contacted me for 3 weeks. Im just devastated.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 9:00 pm

      Hi Geeta,

      It would be better if you see a therapist to get professional counsel…

  10. Shar

    December 5, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    Hi Chris/EBR team,

    My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago and this is the second time he broke up with me. We met begining of last year and was in a relationship for about a year, he broke up with me in Jan this year via text messages. The reason was it wasnt a happy relationship for him. I begged him a lot to give us another chance, called and texted him a lot for few days and as a result of that he just blocked my mob and blocked me on facebook. I then stopped contacting him and after about two months in March i decided to send him an email telling him how much i missed and loved him and wanted us to give it a try again, he responded saying he missed me too but he didnt want to rekindle the relationship. I then replied to him and begged him to give us a chane and this time he reply was very harsh and he sounded very angry which i just couldnt take anymore, hence i replied back sounding equally harsh and angry and at the end of the email thanked him for all the pain he caused me and said goodbye. Despite of still having feelings for him i then decided to move on with my life, i just didnt have any choice really as he never wanted to come back to me. Life started to go on and to my very surprise one night in end June i got a text from him saying he missed me, we then talked a little and after about a week i told him how much i still loved him and wanted to be with him. He then decided to meet up with me and when we met we realised we still had feelings and wanted to be with each other but wanted to take it a bit slowly. But this second time around things just didnt work out as we wanted to. The previous issues in the relationship that caused the first breakup started to resurface and we started to fight again. And eventually the second breakup happened around mid Oct. This time it happened in person, we had a bad fight where he swore at me and called me bad names and pushed me and told me to get out of his place, and i just couldnt at all take it and before leaving his place i swore at him too pretty badly and left and once i got to my car i sent him few texts where i again called him names and said few nasty stuff. This breakup was nothing like the first one which was peaceful, this time it ended very badly between us in a very hostile way and it was very painful too becasue of all the verbal abuse from both sides which really happened because of the heat of the moment, because of the anger i said pretty nasty stuff to him which i really never ever meant and wouldnt have ever said if the situation was much calmer and also if he hadnt started to call me names… Now it’s been over 6 weeks and obviously there is no contact between us and looked like to me he blocked me everywhere online. Over these 6 weeks my anger has subsided a lot and i have started to feel really bad about the nasty stuff i said to him and also texted him. The truth is i really miss him and i still love him very much and want to get back together again and this time try our best with each other. But i just dont know the way we broke up this time it was pretty bad, if it would be possible at all to have another chance with him, if he would come back to me at all and rekindle the relationship with me. He is full of ego, sensitive and holds on to grudges for longer, he will never contact me again this time and he wont apologise to me for his mistakes and for his bad part. As my calls/texts wont go through because he blocked me, i’ve been thinking lately to take the first step and email him and aplogise for the bad stuff i said to him and also tell him that i still love him and would want a last chance with each other. I really want him back, i really want us to get back together more than anything… My situation is very bad and seems like impossible. Could you please help me? Could you please advise me what i really should do that would bring us together again and rekindle our relationship?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 8:42 pm

  11. Taryn

    November 11, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Hi

    So a month ago my bf broke up with me. It was so out of the blue and no one saw it coming. He said he was unhappy, not just with our relationship but every aspect of his life. A week later i found out he had reconnected with his first love and felt that he wanted just a little bit more happiness. I want him to be happy but struggling with the fact that he just replaced me. Not once did he speak to me about this unhappiness he was experiencing, he said he didnt even realize.

    Everyday is a struggle, he was the first person that i was building s life with and now it wasnt enough and i get to do everything we did together alone while he does it with someone else.

    Im angry and extremely hurt by all of this, I was blindsided. He still wants to be a part of my life, he says he cares but i wonder if he really does…even so im not sure how to do that because all i can think is that he just walked away, threw everything we were building away and replaced me.

    I honestly dont know what to do, I just want things to go back to the way they were. We werent broken, we had an amazing relationship not without downs but i chose him everyday. He was worth it…and still is.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 13, 2017 at 1:14 am

      Hi Taryn,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  12. Taryn Menyennett

    November 11, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Hi
    So my bf broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. He said he was unhappy, but he is unhappy with every aspect of his life. Only a week later did I find out he had reconnected with his first love and felt he deserves that little bit more happiness. I’ve never really built a life with someone and right now I’m so angry and hurt. It came out of no where and no one saw it coming. Everyday has been a struggle. It’s just gone and I have to accept it.

    I don’t know if I will even get a chance to be with him again. Everyday I have to do things that we did alone and he is just ok…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 13, 2017 at 1:14 am

      Hi Taryn,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  13. Irene

    November 7, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend for a year broke up with me, this is the second time we broke up but this time i think he is serious. He broke up for a reason that he not lucky, currently he has financial issues and might loose his job. He is saying, he is hurting coz i love him. He blocked me. How can i get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 8, 2017 at 7:01 pm

      Hi Irene,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  14. Tyra

    October 8, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    Hello. My fiance and I broke up 6months after our engagement which was a year and half ago. After 5 months of breakup, he tried reaching out to me and he was sorry we broke up, he asked family and friends to beg me but I wasn’t having any of it, I with held the sex just to know how he lf he had truly changed. Well one week after accepting his apology and ready to give our relationship a chance, he ghosted on me and stopped picking my calls or reaching me and was always saying he was busy. I then cut off all communications with him and blocked him off, it was so heartbreaking, I thought he was back for good.
    Now 9 months later he is back again with same apologies and wanting us to be back, it felt so real that I forgave him and slept with him and now one week again he has ghosted on me. I feel so used and hurt, I want him back so much but I don’t understand why he behaves this way, when we love each other so much and it is obvious that he finds it difficult to move on and I could see that he still loves me but I see so much anger in his eyes. Is there a possibility of us getting back together or is this a game to him? Do I move on? So confused

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 10, 2017 at 12:10 pm

  15. Fiora

    October 7, 2017 at 10:48 am

    Hello,
    My bf and i broke up two weeks ago after a 16 mounths relationship , it wasn’t our first break up , he broke up with me last april and came back like 10 days after , begging me and crying .. i didn’t want to come back even that i loved him , but he was really abusive so i had to wait and see if he’s gonna change ( he promised me will ) And it felt like he did change .
    i was back with him in july , but he was still abusive and mean after just one month (he was’ as toxic as before but still ) i tried my best to tell him that he is hurting me but he didn’t understand .I decided to stop talking to him/ contacting for a week (without breaking up , just to show him my anger) i was just mad and wanted him to understand how hurt i was .. we eventually talked and he broke up with me AGAIN by just saying «  it’s over , u didn’t talk to me for a week so this is what u get » .
    15 days later i called him and set up a meeting to talk about the break up , i told him that we’re grown ups and a serious relationship like ours doesn’t have to end this way , with just a sentence « it’s over » ..we even held hands while talking about the break up ..we have been in a relationship for almost a year and a half and although he was abusive i just want him back and save the relation and maybe change him completely.. but he just said «  we will never be together i made my decision » and after asking him if he still loves me he said « no , and i’m not ready to be in a relation where we fight more thab we get along  »
    I know he loves me, he just need help because he has a lot of problems in his life and i always supported him ( even though i was his emotional punching ball ) .
    Do you think he will come back ? I’m applying the NC currently.. he always comes back and appologize after breaking up and saying horrible things but i don’t think he will this time ..
    ( sorry for the bad english i’m french lol)
    Thank you .

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 8, 2017 at 11:03 pm

  16. Andrew

    October 5, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Hello,
    I am a gay man and I have been in a relationship with this amazing guy for 7 months. We used to fight a lot. We loved each other a lot but we would start to fight over petty things that would turn into a huge argument. Early September, he broke up with me after an argument saying that he feels out of love. He said that we are both Type A personalities and are not compatible. I tried my best to convince him to not to break up with me, even begged but he wouldn’t listen. Two days after the break up he texts me asking how I was doing. I thought maybe he wants to reconcile so I asked him to get back together to which he said that He doesn’t feel the same way about me. Then I didn’t contact him and he would text me on and off to which I would reply. He got jealous when I posted a picture with another guy and texted me to ask if I had moved on already. I told him that the guy in the picture is just a friend. He asked if I would like to have dinner with him and I said yes. Two days before dinner, he came and hugged me out of nowhere at a volleyball game (we play in the same sports center but in different courts) and I gave a very cold reaction because I was very surprised to see him. He texted me after the games saying “You didn’t seem very happy to see me, I was surprised oh well…..” and I replied “Well I was surprised as I wasn’t expecting it”. Then two days letter, I texted him “Good Morning, what time are you thinking for dinner”, and he made an excuse and canceled it. I know he did it because I gave a cold reaction at the games. I got mad and asked him to meet for coffee. We met nicely but he was crying a lot saying he misses me and I said that I was very hurt depressed and even suicidal that he broke up with me. I also told him that it was his decision and I am okay with the decision but I am not okay with the idea of being “just friends” with him. I asked him to take a week and let me know if he wants to be with me or we decide to stay in no contact at all. But only after two days, I was anxious and I called him. he was worried that I was suicidal and came running to my place. I explained that I am not suicidal but I need an answer to help me move on. He said he can’t be with me because he respects me enough to not be with me out of pity and he feels out of love. I want him but I feel that I have no self worth left now. Should I try NC or should I forget about this guy? I know he loves me but he feels we are incompatible.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 6, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      Hi Andrew,

      Try nc first. COntinue improving yourself while slowly building rapport.. if it doesn’t work, continue improving yourself but move on.

  17. Zeeland82

    July 31, 2017 at 8:47 am

    Me and my ex have been together for 2 years. I made him wait a year before introducing him to my kids(A HUGE step for me. Luckily they hit it right off which resulted in him purchasing a home for us and also future plans for after I graduate were discussed regularly. We broke up before for 2 months as a result of a conversation about his high school friend who msgs him. He claim to be done then, just needed to see my face. We both cried like babies and we got back together. 2 weeks of being in absolute bliss, him and the kids settling in AND! Just so happened that it was this same high school friend who facilitated our breakup, a long messy breakup that involved outside people on his part. I messaged him to tell him that we were done after days of getting mouthed from his fb/hs friends. So many lies and fake stories were made at this point neither of us probably know the truth. The sad part is we haven’t spoken to each other since this day (All communication during breakup were through outside sources) A few days after the blow up he text my friend out of town, him wanting to know if I had moved on so quickly. NOTHING SINCE! I’m scared, confused, anxious. It’s been exactly 30 days since i cursed him and started no contact and Im REALLY missing him. I deactivated all social accounts, blocked his number and emails. I’m super nervous about initiating contact fearing he still may be stewing in the breakup since it was so god awful. I’m sending him a short but very positive message, I’m terrified at the thought of his reply. (Oh’ he missed my bday which is something he wouldnt usually do. I know it was 6 days after the break up, but still..)

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      You need to extend it because you have to be actively improving yourself and posting in social media during and after nc

  18. mercy

    May 1, 2017 at 3:43 am

    Hi?
    My boyfriend and I broke up because we fight a lot It’s not the first time we’ve parted ways though.He has left me before because i cheated on him.
    I feel my situation is hopeless because he said i should move on and he we will never date me again. He told me that 6 days ago. I am scared though because I begged for him to give me a chance. I texted him a lot, called him multiple times and he blocked me. All he kept on saying was… he is never coming back ,I’m too much, he has given me many chances but I never change and he is tired.
    I then decided to give him space and do no contact. I’m currently on the 5th day of it but yesterday my friend asked him if he would give me a chance but he said no.. He is not going to give me a chance again. That really hurt me because even after giving him space for five days he’s not willing to try. He told my friend it ended well but i feel like we didn’t agree and that i know it’s over. Does he mean it? He hasn’t showed me any signs of coming back and I am so scared that even if I continue with the no contact,he is never coming back.
    He even told my friend that she should find him a through pass and opted for another friend of mine. It does hurt so much but i still want him back. What should I do and I’m already feeling hopeless despite it being day five of no contact? I’m not willing to give up on him. It hurts so bad and I feel he is serious about not trying a relationship with me. Please help me get him back. I’m losing hope in no contact yet it’s still early. What should I do and how long should I take in no contact to have a chance and not have him move on to another girl? I want to change and improve myself. Can I have a chance really if he is still saying he doesn’t want me back? Please help me Amor. I’m depressed

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2017 at 11:49 am

      you have to change your mindset.. not willing to lose him will make you desperate which is not ungettable.. move on without fully moving on. change genuinely and have your own life..

  19. Hannah

    April 24, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    Hello, my ex and I had been dating for 2 years however I had moved to go to school about 2 hours away and he went to school back home. We started dating when I was a senior in highschool and he was a junior. From the day we started dating I knew he was the one. We talked about getting married someday and all that. However in the fall when I went away to school we were fighting a lot and I was very insecure of us being apart. So he finally cut it off with me. He was mean and wouldn’t talk to me no matter how much I begged for him or tried talking to him then after a couple weeks he would text me and we would hangout then hook up and this cycle went from October to December. I would always try to fix things with him and he would tell me he just wanted to be single, that he didn’t love me anymore and that we would never get back together. Finally after new years I just told him I was done because I was tired of the back and forth we didn’t talk for a month then he reached out to me. We started talking more and he would blow up my phone and constantly drive to come see me. It was like we were back together again. This lasted for about a month and half until one week we kept arguing over stupid things and he started distancing himself from me which in turn would upset me even more. So on that Saturday we were texting and I asked him if over the summer he would like to move in with me and he told me yes. However then as the day went on we got into an argument about me going out and him going to a party because he was suppose to come see me. So then I gave us a couple days to cool down and I texted him on tuesday and was just basically like I know I haven’t talked to you in a couple days I wanted to give us space because I didn’t want to go down that road of arguing again and how you aren’t mad. then he responded basically saying he would just rather not talk that he wants to be single and not have to answer to anyone or worry about hurting my feelings. So I asked how he could go from Saturday telling me he loves me to this and he told me he loves me he always will just not in love with me anymore and doesn’t see us getting back together ever again. I tried to convince him that things were way better then before because they were but he wasn’t listening so I stopped texting him. Then a week later he texted me about this girl that had just broke up with her boyfriend of three years. He said hey and I didn’t answer then he texted me again and said I would appreciate if you text me back and then I didn’t answer and then he said I know you have your phone so please answer so I answered and basically he said he heard I was going to start stuff between this girl and her ex and I basically was like well I heard you were talking to her and he told me they are just friends that he doesn’t like her in that way and would never try for her. Then when I brought up why he originally supposedly texted me he said he doesn’t care about this guy and this girl. So he told me he wasn’t going to try for her and I didn’t respond then later he texted me and asked if I wanted to know anything else and I didn’t answer. Then a week later I went to formal with my best friend and I noticed that he liked my pic on insta which was odd because after we break up he blocks me on everything. I had a bad feeling about this and didn’t know why. The next morning I woke up and he had changed his profile pic to him this girl that just got out of a 3 year relationship and another girl and another guy. Then a couple hours later noticed he had blocked me again. Then a couple hours later he texted me and sent me a picture of my best friend and this guy I had talked with when my ex and I weren’t together that the guy had posted on insta and asked if I was back to hooking up with this guy I had hooked up with in the time my ex and I was not together. I told him I wasn’t even in that picture or even there and he responded oh I figured you were there like every other time and I was like no I wasn’t what my friend does in her free time is her free time and he didn’t answer and he unblocked me on insta again. Later that night I saw that the girl that just got out of a relationship went and liked like 10 of my ex pics so i got mad sent the screen shot of his profile pic and her liking the pics and was like just tell me the truth on what is going on and he told me nothing is going on they are just friends that he doesn’t like her in that way. So i finally just dropped it. Then during the week I got a snap from his cousin of my ex saying don’t do that she will have a fit and then his cousin said my ex talks with this girl. and i responded and said I know and she sent me back a video of her laughing. Then towards the end of the week I got a message from one of this girls friends asking me about my ex and this guy basically said that this girl and my ex was talking to I texted my ex and was like well I wish you guys the best I wish you would of just been honest but I want you to be happy. and he responded saying that nothing is going on. that they are just friends and told me he had been honest. However then this weekend which was a week later after I had talked with him. People sent me pics that my ex had posted on snap chat which was of this girl with the heart eyes and another one with the fire emoji. Then I seen on my ex cousin snap she posted two pics of this girl one saying she loves her and another with my ex saying my favs. I didn’t text my ex or anything because I didn’t want to give him a reaction. I don’t know what to do though. I still want to be with my ex and I believe we are meant to be but now he is with this girl so I don’t know how I can get him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 29, 2017 at 8:20 pm

      are you in the no contact rule right now?

  20. Linda

    April 14, 2017 at 3:13 am

    Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago after living with him for 4 years. I put him through a lot bc we fell in love just after a 17 year marriage and I had a lot of stuff I brought into the space that wasn’t healed yet. But we also had a very close and strong relationship with a lot of love.
    I realized in Dec. that ‘he’s the one’ for me and reached out to him in a letter to him letting him know and what I appreciated about him….and he told me that he’s seeing someone else, that he’s “not closed” to the idea of us, but not right now. I know he’s hurt and is concerned about things being how ‘they were’….which it wouldn’t be bc I have really done a lot of work on myself. He was head over heels for me the whole time and I just wasn’t ready.
    We’ve been really good friends and very close throughout the 3 years. It feels like I should stay in contact with him to build up the rapport and trust again, keep things light, but keep showing him the ‘new’ positive changes in me. He mentioned he was happy I was doing well bc I have been loosely keeping him posted with new developments through text and pictures. He doesn’t do social media.
    I have 2 questions:
    1. Would you recommend I tell him that I care about him and if that other woman makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him so he doesn’t think I’m staying in contact with him to win him back? and…..
    2. NC doesn’t feel right. Do you think it’s ok to stay in contact with him to build rapport and fun back up?

    Thank you.

    1. Linda

      April 20, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago after living with him for 4 years. I put him through a lot bc we fell in love just after a 17 year marriage and I had a lot of stuff I brought into the space that wasn’t healed yet. But we also had a very close and strong relationship with a lot of love.
      I realized in Dec. that ‘he’s the one’ for me and reached out to him in a letter to him letting him know and what I appreciated about him….and he told me that he’s seeing someone else, that he’s “not closed” to the idea of us, but not right now. I know he’s hurt and is concerned about things being how ‘they were’….which it wouldn’t be bc I have really done a lot of work on myself. He was head over heels for me the whole time and I just wasn’t ready.
      We’ve been really good friends and very close throughout the 3 years. It feels like I should stay in contact with him to build up the rapport and trust again, keep things light, but keep showing him the ‘new’ positive changes in me. He mentioned he was happy I was doing well bc I have been loosely keeping him posted with new developments through text and pictures. He doesn’t do social media.
      I have 2 questions:
      1. Would you recommend I tell him that I care about him and if that other woman makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him so he doesn’t think I’m staying in contact with him to win him back? and…..
      2. NC doesn’t feel right. Do you think it’s ok to stay in contact with him to build rapport and fun back up?

      Thank you.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 22, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      You’re more likely to be friend zoned if you kept in touch..do no instead and then slowly build rapport after

    3. Linda

      April 17, 2017 at 5:10 pm

      We saw each other about once a week. We’d go to a movie, dinner, just hang out, hold hands, walk arm in arm, cuddle at the end of the night. Stopped having sex about a 1 1/2 years ago. There’s always been a lot of love between us but I wasn’t ready to compromise my lifestyle for the one he wanted. I had things from my past that I needed to heal before I could commit to him fully and some growing up to do, and it wasn’t until I dated other people that I realized he’s the one I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.
      I temporarily moved away last Aug. to help out my family and am not going back til the end of this year…and I think he started seeing the other woman sometime around the end of last year while I’ve been away.
      I think in the past 3 years while I was getting ‘closer’ to knowing I could commit my life to him, he was getting comfortable with the idea of not being together -understandably. I would need to really show him that I’m serious and have had the necessary changes, which I’ve had…but I’m not there to show him which makes it hard.
      I put him through a lot while he was crazy about me. He called me right away when he got my love letter. We talked about the things I did that bothered him when we were living together and I told him I understood how difficult that must have been for him and how I had come to realize the compromises I would be happy to make just bc I knew how important they were to him and how important he is to me. I could tell he was happy with all my responses while he aired out his grievances with me, and at the same time I ‘feel’ he thinks it’s too risky to get back together with me bc of the possible stress I’d cause him and feel he might feel its better to walk away. He said he realized he was being codependent with me and put up with a lot more than he should have.
      He said “there’s someone I like a lot and I want to see where it goes” And then he said, “but if you want to know the truth I still spend most of my time alone”…so it doesn’t seem like they’re spending a lot of time together.
      The truth is I ‘have’ changed…and I know he can feel it and see it in the little videos and photos I’ve texted him from what I’ve been doing while away. The trouble is I’m not there in the same city with him so he can ‘really’ see it and trust it. So….
      I’m planning to go there in May bc I think it’s imperative that he sees it in person. I told him “I’m taking a trip there next month to touch base with some friends and as birthday gift to myself”…and before I could suggest about getting together he said, “well let me know and I’ll make time to see you”.
      I’m keeping it light and casual since professing my love to him and bc I know he’s seeing someone. I think I can see him on 3 different occasions while I’m there. For the most part I’m keeping it casual and light, except I feel I need to see him face to face so he can see that my love for him is where he always wanted it to be. I will be strong and not needy, but want him ‘to feel’ that my love for him is solid. I won’t go into deep conversations bc he’s seeing someone and I want to respect him.
      I also want to be a subtle interruption to this new relationship if possible before it gets more serious or at least rekindle any sparks to keep hope alive…we’ve always been so happy to see each other when we do.
      I’m worried bc he has been so slow to respond to my texts and sometimes not even responding which he ‘never’ did. When we do talk on the phone which is about every couple of weeks, he’s always really cheerful with me…but they way he is responding to my texts shows me he is slipping away -he always responded to me right away in the past.
      He has had a lot of family visiting over the past few weeks and I know he’s extremely busy, but I’m afraid that they are advising him to stay away from me….which I wouldn’t blame them, but they don’t know that I’ve made the changes necessary to be a loving wife. They all used to really like me, but I broke their brother’s heart.
      I don’t know if I should step away completely to give him is space or stay loosely in his life and be patient? OR… perhaps establish some good memories when I see him again while having him see & feel the changes with no expectations, and THEN go to NC to give him space. What do you think? This is torture!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 16, 2017 at 8:03 am

      ahm wait.. correct me if I’m wrong. You broke up 3 years ago, kept talking for 3 years, then last december you told him how you felt? In those 3 years, you didn’t know he had a gf? and how often did you see each other?

1 2

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.