He Told Her They’d Never Get Back Together…. He Lied!

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

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Have you ever had an ex boyfriend say,

There is no way that we’ll ever get back together… Ever…

Think Taylor Swift but ten times worse and without the dancing!

Most women hear that and they are crushed. They literally look out the window and think the apocalypse has happened.

But does an ex boyfriend TRULY mean it when he says “we aren’t getting back together” or is it just an “in the moment” reaction to the breakup?

Well, that’s what I’d like to explore today.

And I’d figured the best way to explore that would be to take a look at one of my latest success stories.

I’d like to introduce you to Buffy!

Wait, What Do You Mean Buffy?

Ok, this one might need an explanation.

For those of you who aren’t “in the know” when you buy Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO I actually give you an opportunity to join a Private Facebook Group where I help women through breakups. One of the coolest things about this is I am always doing “Facebook Lives” on the group where I just take questions for about an hour.

Well, one day a woman joined one of the Facebook Lives named “Sarah Michelle.”

Now, me being the Buffy aficionado that I am couldn’t help but compare her to Sarah Michelle Gellar (AKA: Buffy)

Well, turns out that our Buffy doesn’t just slay vampires she gets exes back as well. Watch the video below to learn more.

Update To Buffy’s Situation

So, I wanted to come back to this post and update it since there has been a development with Buffy’s situation.

Turns out that yesterday our little Buffy got engaged to her ex!

Yep, and here’s my proof,

So, what’s the moral of the story?

Well, if your ex boyfriend tells you that “he hates you” or that “you’ll never get back together” he doesn’t always mean it. In fact, it seems like more of a reaction than anything. Just ask Buffy, she knows!

If you would like to learn more about how to get your ex boyfriend back please check out,

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

Interview Transcript:

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok so, you were probably one of the more interesting people I think I’ve ever had on because you’re a part of the Facebook group and I call you Buffy, because your name is like Sarah Michelle Gellar right? So, we have Sarah Michelle here and she actually got her ex back. What’s up?

Sarah

Sarah

What’s up?

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

What’s up Buffy? So, how are you doing? How are things and everything? For those of you who don’t know, she got her ex back. She’s a part of group and a this the first time we’re actually officially meeting. She’s like attended a few Facebook live and everything and I’ve obviously answered her questions but it’s really cool to actually meet Buffy in person. Don’t slay me or anything but–

Sarah

Sarah

Now, you know like–I’m actually doing really, really good. I mean before all of this, I was actually engaged.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Engaged–were you engaged with this particular guy?

Sarah

Sarah

My boyfriend–yeah. We were engaged. He broke it off.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Of course.

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, he broke it off.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

-Left at the altar. No, no, no, for real. Someone in the Facebook group yesterday was literally left at the altar. She came and said like the guy’s mom, like she had the dress on, the guy’s mom–that’s crazy!

Sarah

Sarah

I was supposed to be getting married actually. It was like months. So, I had already started buying things like we bought a house together–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Well what you are–for  a young person, you are moving quick girl.

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, I actually bought my first house with money all by myself. Thankfully his name wasn’t on it. It’s just me but we bought a dog together and literally went the whole 9 yards, been together for 2 1/2 years and all of  a sudden, like we just moved in on the south like 3 months ago and he’s like, “I’m not happy. I’m leaving.”

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, like where there’s no signs whatsoever at all?

Sarah

Sarah

No and I didn’t understand it. He went to the gym at 8 o’clock at night and came back home at 1 in the morning. I’m calling where the hell are you? It was just the weirdest thing. It was just so out of nowhere and I see all this girls on like the Facebook live, like their ex tells them, “I don’t love you anymore” like, “You’re too much” like, “We’re never going to be together again,” I heard all those things, all of them.

I heard every single one of those things come out of his mouth. When it came down to it, I found out he didn’t mean any of it, none of it. And I think that’s the hardest thing to comprehend, when you’re going through it because I feel a lot of the girls like in the Facebook page, all the guys say that and like when you hear it, like you just don’t understand at all.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The crazy thing is I try to explain to people, it’s like, well he’s in a moment where maybe he’s feeling that at that particular moment but in the grand scheme he doesn’t really mean it and it just kind of goes in one ear and out the other. It’s obviously you kind of have hindsight because you got him back. So, you can kind of obviously look back and see that but for someone really struggling, they’ll have a hard time swallowing that pill.

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, when you first hear it you’re devastated. You are absolutely 03:19 because you’re like, are you kidding me? Like that is so deceiving from everything you’ve been telling me and everything you said but I honestly, it’s like emotions that are running high. When like if you’re in the moment you say things you don’t mean and I think it’s really hard for us girls to really understand that.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yes. So, take me through the timeline. How did you find exboyfriend recovery? Sort of, go through your journey through–I’m assuming you searched on Google or something. That seems what everyone does. I need to diversify my traffic a little bit more. I need to start like paying for ads and billboards or something because I’m getting a little to relying on Google traffic.

Sarah

Sarah

Well, when I was first looking because I was just like–I was honestly looking for how do you get your ex back kind of like and when I started typing in like random different things, nothing came up. Nothing like–like I saw there was an article that was like how to get your ex back for sure 04:19reading it. It was honestly like the exact same thing you did but like it had weird, it was just the weirdest set up on how to do things.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, one of the things that people don’t necessarily realize but I realize because I’m sort of in the business is, a lot of this web masters who really don’t are about people. They’ll hire someone from India to write the article for them and so you will read and Google is not smart enough to pick it up.

I think if you like go to Google right now and type in how do you get your exboyfriend back, you’ll find like one of the featured snippets in Google is someone who has broken English, who’s trying to teach someone to get their ex back. So, it’s like not necessarily the best information out there.

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, I know because honestly like Googling s**t was my last resort. All my friends were like leave it alone like it’s done, it’s over, get over it, like even my family they’re like it’s just move on. You’re going to be ok and it’s like the hardest thing to accept because nobody is actualy going through it, you are at that point.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, you are totally isolated. So, you have this one need to get your back and you know I talk about this on the website. Your friends and family, they can be an incredible support system but at the same time it’s not necessarily like they’re on your side a 100% of the time.

Sarah

Sarah

No, because their thinking process is you know, especially for me because I’m young. It’s like, oh you’re young, you got to move on.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

More fish in the sea, that kind of spiel.

Sarah

Sarah

Exactly. It gets really old because I think we have the mentality that if it’s meant to be, it will be. It kind helps you get through it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I’m also curious. You said Google was your last resort, did you also like go to Youtube, go to Yahoo to like try to find anything you could on it?

Sarah

Sarah

To be honest, my  main source was Google. It was Google. I actually came across your website, and then I started looking through it and like you had a podcast that was going out–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you listened to the podcast.

Sarah

Sarah

I listened to the podcast and that’s how I was like, “Ok, we’ll I’ll give it a shot.” And so, I was actually at work listening to the podcast.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That podcast, it ranks in Itunes. It’s not like the top Itunes broadcast thing but you’d be struck at how many customers I actually get through that podcast and I’m even shocked because I feel like it’s a lot of effort I have to continually interview people. Before when I first started, I would just like answer people’s random voice mail questions. I don’t know if you had like tuned in to some of those episodes or tuned in to the more recent interviews or the interviews of the experts out there.

Sarah

Sarah

The one that I listened to was, I don’t remember which one. I really don’t remember which one it was but it was like the one where you were like promoting. I think you were just starting your Facebook page. You only have like 80 members in it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, it was early, early on. Now, the Facebook group grows every single day which is kinda cool. If I had started 5 years ago, it would probably be over like a 100,000 people by now. But I can’t even imagine–I think last I checked, it was 213 and like last week it was like 190 or 150 or something. It just grows constantly.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes, it’s crazy how quickly it’s grown.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I just really just started it like a month ago.

Sarah

Sarah

I was like the 75th member.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Right, yes.

Sarah

Sarah

It’s really cool to see it growing.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, that’s been one of the best thing. It’s absolutely my favorite thing to do because I love jumping on a Facebook live. I feel like people will get their money’s worth when they buy the product and stuff and then go into the Facebook group and they get sort of like a group of women to help support through things. I’m there, my wife is there, I jump on Facebook live.

Sarah

Sarah

It’s perfect. It is absolutely perfect. I think that’s what separates you from the other programs because you have that actual support that’s there.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, let me ask you, Did you end up taking the quiz on the website?

Sarah

Sarah

I did and I couldn’t figure out how to like get it. I never got like an email for anything.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Really? It’s funny. I’m actually going to hire a designer to completely redesign the website. It’s going to be expensive of course but it’s going to look like–it’s this guy who works for Apple. He’s like one of the top top people. So, we’re trying to streamline the quiz and make it better because so many people like that quiz but we have had some issues with it but I find most of the people take the quiz and then they will jump on the webinar and then you know, they’ll buy the products, get into the group and sort of –I don’t know if that’s sort of the trajectory you took.

Sarah

Sarah

Because I took the quiz and then I got an email about the webinar–and then I joined it, like ok, well. And then it was like promoting your product and that was when I think you first were launching your Facebook too.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Literally it just had started out. Right when I started doing those webinars is right when the Facebook group was sort of kind of fruition and I think when we started , we had like beta tested it with like 15-20 members. And so, we didn’t have like a ton of people but I had done it maybe like 3-4 months before. We just had 15-20 members in this Facebook group and they stayed active.

You’ve probably seen Mirka right? She’s one of the very original people that was in this beta test where we just like literally trying to test out and see if people would like it. And so we would just ask people like, “Would you like us to continue the Facebook group?”

Obviously an overwhelming yes, but you know now it’s really starting to take off now that we’ve kind of incorporated in into the products. It is a little bit exclusive meaning you can only get to it if you buy exboyfriend recovery pro but I think it’s probably worth the money alone, you know?

Sarah

Sarah

Yes, definitely. I couldn’t agree more. It’s literally the best thing because you get live support, you get help from other women who are going through the same thing and you get like live Facebook because you do live all the time. Honestly, that itself like, you could do that and I think you would be fine.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yes, it’s interesting how it all sort of comes to fruition. Sometimes I just have a spur of the moment like an hour in the schedule and I’m like, “I’ll just do one of this Facebook live”. It’s like sporadically all throughout the day but usually it’s like 3 or 4 times a week.

And then I would always see you jump on right? And I always call you Buffy because it was like– I was for some reason watching Buffy at time and it’s all Sarah Michelle and I was like, “Oh, Sarah Michelle Gellar”. So, I would like just like jump back and forth.

Let’s talk a little bit about your ex. What did you do to get him back? What resources did you like really leaned on?

Sarah

Sarah

I’m not going to lie. It was really hard like the no contact rule. That is the hardest thing I ever had to do. For about a month, I did on and off no contact because he would randomly just show up at my house. It was the weirdest.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, it’s really difficult to like stick to it if he’s like showing up at your doorstep.

Sarah

Sarah

It was hard. He would just randomly just show up at my house if I didn’t answer. That was his thing. If I didn’t answer, he would just show up at my house. My biggest leeway was his best friend was actually talking to me. His best friend was like–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Oh, he always had like a thing for you or something?

Sarah

Sarah

No, to be honest, I actually dated his best friend before.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok, so he’s got a little bit of the jealousy. He’s probably thinking, “Oh god, they’re sleeping together.” or something like that.

Sarah

Sarah

Well, that was one of his biggest fears but his best friend was just helping me. Like his best friend talked to me and stuff like that.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yes, he was “helping” you. Yeah, I get it. No, I’m just kidding!

Sarah

Sarah

He was really good about like talking about what was going on with him. So, that was how I kind of knew what he was doing. Because we broke up a little over a month ago when we first broke up, I have to have friends stay with me because I just couldn’t handle it and then I don’t know–the biggest thing that helped was honestly the no contact rule. It really was the best thing that I could have done and just the kind of getting yourself together like doing new things, like showing yourself off is a big thing.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, how did you do that though?

Sarah

Sarah

Your wife 13:31 posted something on I had posted about like how to dress and she had like this video. She actually posted it online but I ended up going and looking at them anyway. And I actually learned how to put on extensions in that way.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Really from my wife? That was like–I can tell you the story about that particular–we were like in her parent’s house, and it was like the most like–everything was like crunched together. We have like no space. We both were like, “Ah, this isn’t going to turn out good. No one’s going to like this.” We posted it to the website. No one commented on it. Like hardly any people viewed it. So, I’m actually really shocked that that helped you out because we’re kind of been like giving up on it.

Sarah

Sarah

It literally caught his attention. Your wife is the reason that I learned how to do it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, we’ll give her the credit for your success. I won’t take the credit this time.

Sarah

Sarah

I went out, bought new clothes, I actually dyed my hair, put in extension and like he noticed me right off the bat because I was posting pictures and that’s like–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you’re doing it on like Facebook or social media or things like that?

Sarah

Sarah

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, like I was posting this stuff all the time and he was noticing it. And it wasn’t until I started hanging out with other guys and like actually attempting to date other people that I got a reaction from him.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, what was that like? What was the reaction you got out of him when you started doing those things?

Sarah

Sarah

That was when he started calling me constantly. That was when he was like Facetiming me. That was when I like my phone was constantly getting blown up.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

This was all happening during the no contact period. Well, you’re attempt, it’s just kind of hard when he shows up at your doorstep and everything. So, how long did you make it like really before he started to crack down and just came back and said, “Can I get you back.”

Sarah

Sarah

So, my little first with no contact, the first one was for about 6 days. Second one, they were all like 6 day increment but the last time–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, it wouldn’t be you that would break it. It would be like him doing something like showing up at your door.  So, technically, there’s like nothing you can do to control that because it’s not like you can just say “F off!”

Sarah

Sarah

Yes. He would just randomly show up at my house because I wasn’t answering him.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

I think those are positive things though generally. Obviously in your case.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes, it wasn’t until my final round, it was then about close to 30 days that I hadn’t really talked to him and it was 4 days of no contact technically, if you really think about because he showed at my door before then but it was 4 days because the first day I didn’t hear from him at all.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So day 1 after the break up you don’t hear from him whatsoever?

Sarah

Sarah

The first week I didn’t hear from him at all. And then he came, got his stuff. You know, stuff like that. I don’t know if that’s really considered breaking it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

No, that  falls within the realm of you know, that’s ok.

Sarah

Sarah

He came, got his stuff and then we didn’t talk for about like 6 days after that and then–because he was trying to call me but I wasn’t answering him and so, he showed up at my house again. And then what happened after that–and then another 6 days and he showed up at my house again just because I’m not–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

He’s consistent, you got to give him that. Every 6 days, he’s going to show up at your house.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes! Right after that, –this is the last time, the 4 days where he first of all didn’t talk to me and then on the second day, he called me  6 times. Literally called me 6 times and I didn’t answer. He left me a voice mail, “Pick up your phone!” And so, I didn’t talk to him. Third day, he called me 6 times and then he Facetimed me twice, Snapchatted me, he had his friends calling me because I wouldn’t answer.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, no contact is definitely working on this guy.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes and I never thought it would. I really never thought because he actually told me we’re never getting back together.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok, he prefaced it with probably, “I’d never loved you before or we’re never going to get back together.” All of that kind of stuff.

Sarah

Sarah

I got the I haven’t loved you for 2 months spiel.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Oh ok. You’ve seen it around the Facebook group, I’m sure.

Sarah

Sarah

Basically on the 4th like, I didn’t talk to him and then I got this random text like, “Hey”. I didn’t answer. He texted me again, “It’s important. I need to talk to you.” And then was when I –because I’ve screenshot what he said to me and that’s when he was asking for me back.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Right, so how did the conversation go? Did you do this over text or was this over the phone?

Sarah

Sarah

He texted me about it and I told him let’s talk about it in person.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Ok, so how did it go in person?

Sarah

Sarah

In person, we actually sat down, laid out all of our problems and like I told him, I was like, “Look, I can’t do whatever it is you’re doing if you’re uncertain about us getting married.” Like obviously the wedding’s off because I am just not going to deal with it because we have no idea where this is going now because you know you broke off an engagement, you basically broke life together.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, he’s basically going to rebuild some trust with you before you’re willing to sort of make that kind of commitment with him again.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes exactly and we decided we’re going to take things slow. I told him, let’s do a completely clean slate because I felt like that was the best thing for us because–like every couple, we’ve had our ups and downs and you know like, I just think the best thing for anybody who’s getting back in a relationship is to start over because if you’re not starting over, all that stuff is going to come right back up and you’re going to be right back at square one.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

True. So, how is that working out for you so far? How long have you guys been back together exactly? Do you know? Is it like a month?

Sarah

Sarah

We’ve been back together for about a week now.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

A week, so how is it going so far? You’re like kind of in the initial stages. I’ve seen the pendulum swing both ways. Sometimes it works out brilliantly, sometimes it’s another break up quickly after.

Sarah

Sarah

No, we’re actually doing really good right now because my biggest thing is that I’m not a very mellow person. I’m very high strung. I actually go to a therapist that kind of help me with my own problems and he’s working on his. So, we’re doing really, really well actually because I mean–I hate to say it but I think that break up was the best for us.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s not a bad thing sometimes. Maybe it was a good thing to slow down if he was unsure about like the marriage because that can get messy, especially you either have to annul it or get divorced or something.

Sarah

Sarah

I hate to say it but no matter how much it hurts, maybe it was for the best to kind of realize what was going on, like what we needed to fix because obviously there was some sort of communication problem that we couldn’t figure out and I hate to say it but I think maybe it was the best thing for us.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, you’re pretty happy now though?

Sarah

Sarah

Oh yes.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Like where you’re at and you’re relationship with him?

Sarah

Sarah

I’m so happy. It’s not all flowers and roses.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Never is.

Sarah

Sarah

It’s not. Right now, what it is, is it’s work. I mean it’s not easy. That’s one thing I’ve really learned from this is that relationships are not easy. You have to give and you have to take and it has to be equal.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

There are some compromises both people have to sort of make throughout the relationship for it to work I think. It seems like you are really easy to get along with. Looking back, you’re so calm about things. So, I guess you’re, sort of you’ve won. You got him back. Whereas, most of the women who are in the Facebook group are really struggling from day to day.

Sarah

Sarah

And that’s another reason why I like to hop on there because when I see something that’s kind of similar or if there’s anyway that I can help kind of give somebody some inspiration or some help, I want to and I think women really need to see that. That there is hope no matter what they’re saying to you or whatever is going on. There’s always still hope because guys want what they can’t have.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s very true. So, let me ask you. Let’s go back to kind of your struggles. When you’re really struggling through this break up, talk a little bit about how the Facebook group helped you specifically. Was it sort of that constant thing where you’re carrying around your phone all day just checking it to get your questions answered or just kind of like in the shadows trying to figure out from other people’s situations? How would use it?

Sarah

Sarah

I think I kind of did both because I wasn’t constantly posting but I wasn’t always–I would look to see who has a similar situation because I wanted to see how theirs is going because there were times where I felt like there was like no hope. I didn’t think anything was going to work. I thought that he wasn’t going to come back.

I had those moments of complete weakness and I felt like I was failing and so that was when I would look at what other girls are going through and see what they’re doing and if I really just couldn’t figure out, I would post something and just kind of see what people are saying and see if I could– because I got a lot of support when I would post something. There was so much support. It helped a lot to be able to talk to them.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s why a love the Facebook group so much. It takes some of the pressure off of me because I can’t be everywhere at once. I’m one person and there’s like so many people out there who have break ups that are asking for help and everything but if you have a group of women sort of coming to the rescue, it helps everyone. It sort of like a group therapy type aspect to it.

Sarah

Sarah

Exactly. That was literally the best thing. You can’t ask for anymore support there because between your wife-because your wife helped me a lot.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

She’s more active than I am. She hasn’t done any Facebook live yet. I’ve been trying to get her to do one. She’s always complaining about how she doesn’t have time and how she has to get ready. So, I’m stuck doing the Facebook live which I’m happy to.

Sarah

Sarah

Oh, those are great. I mean those are really great. It’s not technically one on one but at least, if you have a question that was like directly toward you because on a whole lot, like there’s that help right there and that support.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Like going back to my wife, she is the one who literally will go through and make sure everyone’s answered and her advice is actually really excellent. She’s really, really good at that texting advice and practical advice. I guess she knows how to manipulate men which I guess is kind of bad for me.

Sarah

Sarah

No, she’s great. She is awesome.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So now, here’s the other interesting thing I’ve noticed. Some people who buy exboyfriend recovery pro, they’re scared to join the group because they’re afraid that they’re afraid that their ex is going to see it right?

Sarah

Sarah

Oh, I don’t have that fear because I’m not going to lie, at first I was like are people going to see?

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s private closed group, so no one can see it. So no one can see any of your posts or anything like that.

Sarah

Sarah

Because when you start posting things like, you think “Are my friends going to text me? Is somebody going to see?” I have not had anybody even see anything I’m doing on there. It’s just whatever I put on stays in that group.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, and so one of the big things too were sort of trying not to judge. One of the issues I think a lot of people have is their friends and family, they’re just not on their side and they`’ll judge and they’ll come in this preconceived notions.

Now, I’m not going to lie, there are some situations where I don’t think a person should try to get back with their ex but generally speaking, we just try to work towards helping people get back with their exes which is why I’m so glad that Buffy the vampire slayer got her ex back!

Sarah

Sarah

Well, thank you!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, give me your thoughts on I guess exboyfriend recovery pro. I don’t if you had a chance to read through the book at all. You did?

Sarah

Sarah

I did.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

What did you think because that took forever to write. It was long. You got the longer version I’m sure but yeah..

Sarah

Sarah

To be honest, what I did, I took it piece by piece because if you read it all at one time, you’re just going to have no idea what to do.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s true. It’s a lot of information at once.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes, so what I did is I took it section by section and it felt like I was in the no contact phase, I read everything about the no contact first to make sure I don’t confuse myself.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

That’s clever. So, as you’re basically doing that, as you’re in the middle of the no contact rule, you’re just reading the no contact sort of. You just become the master of that portion and as you moved up to texting, you would have read that. Luckily you don’t have to go all the way to the end.

Sarah

Sarah

-that far, I did what I could and then I was like, “Ok, I’m doing no contact. It’s going well.” Because I was about ready to get to that point. I read that texting part because I was like ok, I’m getting there. So, I should–for it. So, I took it section by section to make sure I followed each step correctly.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

And luckily it worked out for you.

Sarah

Sarah

All my down time I would read like the ungettable girl, I would read like how to avoid fights. In my down time I would just read those because that was my biggest thing is when I saw him in person, I just want to be yelling at him.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

So, did you by any chances check out the audio version at all and listened to any of it? Some people love it, some people don’t really use it a lot.

Sarah

Sarah

I didn’t use the audio version only because I couldn’t find it.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Oh really? Did you have the membership access to the like the area?

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, I did but I couldn’t see anything on the membership access.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yeah, that’s one thing that we’re actually on the process of updating. You joined really early on when we’re doing the Facebook group and everything but honestly that Facebook group seems to be constantly everyone who’s I talk to–sort of like–that’s the best asset.

Sarah

Sarah

Hands down that is the best. If you pair up the book–like if you pair that up along with the Facebook, that itself is like bulletproof in itself.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The idea is to get everything to kind of work synergistic-ally. So, you sort of get the overall strategy with the book and sort of this is your go to what to do and then anytime you’re sort of needing the personal help, you just come to the group and you get the help you need.

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, it’s perfect.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The crazy thing is I don’t think it would have worked without Facebook because for some reason Facebook is so trusted and people are logging in constantly every single day. If this is was just like a forum behind like some sort of password protected thing, I just don’t think it would as active as it is because so many people go onto Facebook.

Sarah

Sarah

Personally, I think I would have had a much harder time had there not been Facebook. I would have probably like broke down multiple times and texted him and failed, like multiple times.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The interesting thing too is I’ve noticed that the success rate of the people who buy prob has gone up ever since we started using the Facebook group and my wife and I think it’s because so many people fail during that no contact period but when they’re on the Facebook group, they almost have people to hold them accountable. So, they actually stick through and they get better results.

Sarah

Sarah

Yes and not to mention like if you are fighting yourself to like text him or whatever, you can just go there and vent because I mean, like you’re friends don’t want to hear it anymore. I’m not going to lie, my friends didn’t want to hear it anymore. You can just go there and vent because every single girl there knows what you’re going through.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Some of the girls get really like into the situation that–I don’t know if you paid attention to Too New and the baby. Did you saw that situation?

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, that was crazy!

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It broke my heart with some of the things that this guy was doing to her but I guess that’s what I’m kind of getting at there. Like some situations have become sort of widely known. That Too New she had like so many people jumping in to help her. There was one girl who would like wanted to help her with the lawyer and all this like crazy stuff.

Sarah

Sarah

It’s perfect because you get all this support from other women. It’s a very comfortable place to talk. You can put your feelings out there without being judged.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

The funny thing is a lot of people who are like kind of on the fence about it, they buy pro and then they like request to join in the group and then I add them, their first question is typically, can my friends see this or everything and Mirka or me or someone is coming in and it’s like “No, they can’t see it.”

but there is that fear but eventually they come around and it becomes that safe space that you’re sort of mentioning there. It’s weird that they have like this skeptical view of it. It is a private group. It’s meant to be sort of in it’s own corner where no one can sort of see anything you’re posting.

Sarah

Sarah

I think that also comes with insecurity because you’re not sure–you don’t want him to see that you’re doing that because then he’s going to be like, well, why are acting crazy or something?

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

It’s the craziest thing. I always complain that we have so many people coming to our website but it’s like no one shares the website on the web because of the niche. Like no woman wants to admit that she wants to get her ex back in public.

So, it doesn’t share well. One of the perfect stories to illustrate this is I remember right when I first started the website, I first wrote the book, it wasn’t very big and so I was like trying to get as many sales as I possibly could to just basically pay the rent and do all this stuff and I remember there was a girl on Facebook who reached out to me, she said, “Chris, I’m really interested in buying your book.” and I was like, “Yes! Ok”

So, I write her back and everything and then she had done it on her wall and her ex had found it and he was like, “What is this about?” and so right there I lost the sale because she like closed up. But it made me think we need something that’s private so no one can see it and that’s sort of how the Facebook group came to be eventually but it came to be like –but yeah, that’s one of the funny stories I’ve gotten before.

Sarah

Sarah

34:04

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

But some people are just not technical with Facebook. So, they don’t like know if their–she must have been thinking on her phone and she was like private messaging me and it was like public on her wall and so everyone saw it. So, you do have to kind of be careful before you post it and stuff.

Sarah

Sarah

Yeah, don’t make that mistake of actually posting it on your actual Facebook.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Do you have any kind of words of wisdom to leave the fine people listening to this podcast who are trying to get their exes back? Any kind of advice?

Sarah

Sarah

To be honest, my advice to all the girls out there is when they say this things like I don’t love you or they say to you that it’s not ever going to work. Don’t believe it. It’s all just an act because it’s just emotions running high. The best thing to do is when you’re in the no contact period is to work on yourself because when you’re working on yourself, they’re going to see it and they’re going to like every bit of it.

Not going to lie you know because they’re going to see it. There’s no doubt about that. How can they not? If they’re in a relationship with you prior to this, they’re obviously checking up on you and there’s no such thing as no hope. There’s always hope. I want everyone out there to know that even in the most difficult situations, there’s always going to be hope and don’t ever lose that hope.

I’ve been looking at Facebook page a lot lately and everybody kind of seems really down and like everybody seems like they’re losing that hope because– I think the hardest thing is that nobody thinks there’s success stories on there. So, it’s like–

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Well, we’re going to start posting and I think directly like this one. There was another one I did yesterday. I think those kind of success stories can be–

Sarah

Sarah

It’s a motivation.

Chris Seiter

Chris Seiter

Yes. It’s something to strive towards. Like I said, we’re still trying to work out how the group is structured and everything but the reason I wanted to have you on was so people can see what’s possible if you do things the right way which you certainly did Sarah. So, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it. Take care.

March 6, 2017

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (30)

  1. mercy - 0

    mercy

    Hi?
    My boyfriend and I broke up because we fight a lot It’s not the first time we’ve parted ways though.He has left me before because i cheated on him.
    I feel my situation is hopeless because he said i should move on and he we will never date me again. He told me that 6 days ago. I am scared though because I begged for him to give me a chance. I texted him a lot, called him multiple times and he blocked me. All he kept on saying was… he is never coming back ,I’m too much, he has given me many chances but I never change and he is tired.
    I then decided to give him space and do no contact. I’m currently on the 5th day of it but yesterday my friend asked him if he would give me a chance but he said no.. He is not going to give me a chance again. That really hurt me because even after giving him space for five days he’s not willing to try. He told my friend it ended well but i feel like we didn’t agree and that i know it’s over. Does he mean it? He hasn’t showed me any signs of coming back and I am so scared that even if I continue with the no contact,he is never coming back.
    He even told my friend that she should find him a through pass and opted for another friend of mine. It does hurt so much but i still want him back. What should I do and I’m already feeling hopeless despite it being day five of no contact? I’m not willing to give up on him. It hurts so bad and I feel he is serious about not trying a relationship with me. Please help me get him back. I’m losing hope in no contact yet it’s still early. What should I do and how long should I take in no contact to have a chance and not have him move on to another girl? I want to change and improve myself. Can I have a chance really if he is still saying he doesn’t want me back? Please help me Amor. I’m depressed

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      you have to change your mindset.. not willing to lose him will make you desperate which is not ungettable.. move on without fully moving on. change genuinely and have your own life..

  2. Hannah - 0

    Hannah

    Hello, my ex and I had been dating for 2 years however I had moved to go to school about 2 hours away and he went to school back home. We started dating when I was a senior in highschool and he was a junior. From the day we started dating I knew he was the one. We talked about getting married someday and all that. However in the fall when I went away to school we were fighting a lot and I was very insecure of us being apart. So he finally cut it off with me. He was mean and wouldn’t talk to me no matter how much I begged for him or tried talking to him then after a couple weeks he would text me and we would hangout then hook up and this cycle went from October to December. I would always try to fix things with him and he would tell me he just wanted to be single, that he didn’t love me anymore and that we would never get back together. Finally after new years I just told him I was done because I was tired of the back and forth we didn’t talk for a month then he reached out to me. We started talking more and he would blow up my phone and constantly drive to come see me. It was like we were back together again. This lasted for about a month and half until one week we kept arguing over stupid things and he started distancing himself from me which in turn would upset me even more. So on that Saturday we were texting and I asked him if over the summer he would like to move in with me and he told me yes. However then as the day went on we got into an argument about me going out and him going to a party because he was suppose to come see me. So then I gave us a couple days to cool down and I texted him on tuesday and was just basically like I know I haven’t talked to you in a couple days I wanted to give us space because I didn’t want to go down that road of arguing again and how you aren’t mad. then he responded basically saying he would just rather not talk that he wants to be single and not have to answer to anyone or worry about hurting my feelings. So I asked how he could go from Saturday telling me he loves me to this and he told me he loves me he always will just not in love with me anymore and doesn’t see us getting back together ever again. I tried to convince him that things were way better then before because they were but he wasn’t listening so I stopped texting him. Then a week later he texted me about this girl that had just broke up with her boyfriend of three years. He said hey and I didn’t answer then he texted me again and said I would appreciate if you text me back and then I didn’t answer and then he said I know you have your phone so please answer so I answered and basically he said he heard I was going to start stuff between this girl and her ex and I basically was like well I heard you were talking to her and he told me they are just friends that he doesn’t like her in that way and would never try for her. Then when I brought up why he originally supposedly texted me he said he doesn’t care about this guy and this girl. So he told me he wasn’t going to try for her and I didn’t respond then later he texted me and asked if I wanted to know anything else and I didn’t answer. Then a week later I went to formal with my best friend and I noticed that he liked my pic on insta which was odd because after we break up he blocks me on everything. I had a bad feeling about this and didn’t know why. The next morning I woke up and he had changed his profile pic to him this girl that just got out of a 3 year relationship and another girl and another guy. Then a couple hours later noticed he had blocked me again. Then a couple hours later he texted me and sent me a picture of my best friend and this guy I had talked with when my ex and I weren’t together that the guy had posted on insta and asked if I was back to hooking up with this guy I had hooked up with in the time my ex and I was not together. I told him I wasn’t even in that picture or even there and he responded oh I figured you were there like every other time and I was like no I wasn’t what my friend does in her free time is her free time and he didn’t answer and he unblocked me on insta again. Later that night I saw that the girl that just got out of a relationship went and liked like 10 of my ex pics so i got mad sent the screen shot of his profile pic and her liking the pics and was like just tell me the truth on what is going on and he told me nothing is going on they are just friends that he doesn’t like her in that way. So i finally just dropped it. Then during the week I got a snap from his cousin of my ex saying don’t do that she will have a fit and then his cousin said my ex talks with this girl. and i responded and said I know and she sent me back a video of her laughing. Then towards the end of the week I got a message from one of this girls friends asking me about my ex and this guy basically said that this girl and my ex was talking to I texted my ex and was like well I wish you guys the best I wish you would of just been honest but I want you to be happy. and he responded saying that nothing is going on. that they are just friends and told me he had been honest. However then this weekend which was a week later after I had talked with him. People sent me pics that my ex had posted on snap chat which was of this girl with the heart eyes and another one with the fire emoji. Then I seen on my ex cousin snap she posted two pics of this girl one saying she loves her and another with my ex saying my favs. I didn’t text my ex or anything because I didn’t want to give him a reaction. I don’t know what to do though. I still want to be with my ex and I believe we are meant to be but now he is with this girl so I don’t know how I can get him back.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      are you in the no contact rule right now?

  3. Linda - 0

    Linda

    Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago after living with him for 4 years. I put him through a lot bc we fell in love just after a 17 year marriage and I had a lot of stuff I brought into the space that wasn’t healed yet. But we also had a very close and strong relationship with a lot of love.
    I realized in Dec. that ‘he’s the one’ for me and reached out to him in a letter to him letting him know and what I appreciated about him….and he told me that he’s seeing someone else, that he’s “not closed” to the idea of us, but not right now. I know he’s hurt and is concerned about things being how ‘they were’….which it wouldn’t be bc I have really done a lot of work on myself. He was head over heels for me the whole time and I just wasn’t ready.
    We’ve been really good friends and very close throughout the 3 years. It feels like I should stay in contact with him to build up the rapport and trust again, keep things light, but keep showing him the ‘new’ positive changes in me. He mentioned he was happy I was doing well bc I have been loosely keeping him posted with new developments through text and pictures. He doesn’t do social media.
    I have 2 questions:
    1. Would you recommend I tell him that I care about him and if that other woman makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him so he doesn’t think I’m staying in contact with him to win him back? and…..
    2. NC doesn’t feel right. Do you think it’s ok to stay in contact with him to build rapport and fun back up?

    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      ahm wait.. correct me if I’m wrong. You broke up 3 years ago, kept talking for 3 years, then last december you told him how you felt? In those 3 years, you didn’t know he had a gf? and how often did you see each other?

    • Linda - 0

      Linda

      We saw each other about once a week. We’d go to a movie, dinner, just hang out, hold hands, walk arm in arm, cuddle at the end of the night. Stopped having sex about a 1 1/2 years ago. There’s always been a lot of love between us but I wasn’t ready to compromise my lifestyle for the one he wanted. I had things from my past that I needed to heal before I could commit to him fully and some growing up to do, and it wasn’t until I dated other people that I realized he’s the one I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.
      I temporarily moved away last Aug. to help out my family and am not going back til the end of this year…and I think he started seeing the other woman sometime around the end of last year while I’ve been away.
      I think in the past 3 years while I was getting ‘closer’ to knowing I could commit my life to him, he was getting comfortable with the idea of not being together -understandably. I would need to really show him that I’m serious and have had the necessary changes, which I’ve had…but I’m not there to show him which makes it hard.
      I put him through a lot while he was crazy about me. He called me right away when he got my love letter. We talked about the things I did that bothered him when we were living together and I told him I understood how difficult that must have been for him and how I had come to realize the compromises I would be happy to make just bc I knew how important they were to him and how important he is to me. I could tell he was happy with all my responses while he aired out his grievances with me, and at the same time I ‘feel’ he thinks it’s too risky to get back together with me bc of the possible stress I’d cause him and feel he might feel its better to walk away. He said he realized he was being codependent with me and put up with a lot more than he should have.
      He said “there’s someone I like a lot and I want to see where it goes” And then he said, “but if you want to know the truth I still spend most of my time alone”…so it doesn’t seem like they’re spending a lot of time together.
      The truth is I ‘have’ changed…and I know he can feel it and see it in the little videos and photos I’ve texted him from what I’ve been doing while away. The trouble is I’m not there in the same city with him so he can ‘really’ see it and trust it. So….
      I’m planning to go there in May bc I think it’s imperative that he sees it in person. I told him “I’m taking a trip there next month to touch base with some friends and as birthday gift to myself”…and before I could suggest about getting together he said, “well let me know and I’ll make time to see you”.
      I’m keeping it light and casual since professing my love to him and bc I know he’s seeing someone. I think I can see him on 3 different occasions while I’m there. For the most part I’m keeping it casual and light, except I feel I need to see him face to face so he can see that my love for him is where he always wanted it to be. I will be strong and not needy, but want him ‘to feel’ that my love for him is solid. I won’t go into deep conversations bc he’s seeing someone and I want to respect him.
      I also want to be a subtle interruption to this new relationship if possible before it gets more serious or at least rekindle any sparks to keep hope alive…we’ve always been so happy to see each other when we do.
      I’m worried bc he has been so slow to respond to my texts and sometimes not even responding which he ‘never’ did. When we do talk on the phone which is about every couple of weeks, he’s always really cheerful with me…but they way he is responding to my texts shows me he is slipping away -he always responded to me right away in the past.
      He has had a lot of family visiting over the past few weeks and I know he’s extremely busy, but I’m afraid that they are advising him to stay away from me….which I wouldn’t blame them, but they don’t know that I’ve made the changes necessary to be a loving wife. They all used to really like me, but I broke their brother’s heart.
      I don’t know if I should step away completely to give him is space or stay loosely in his life and be patient? OR… perhaps establish some good memories when I see him again while having him see & feel the changes with no expectations, and THEN go to NC to give him space. What do you think? This is torture!

    • Linda - 0

      Linda

      Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago after living with him for 4 years. I put him through a lot bc we fell in love just after a 17 year marriage and I had a lot of stuff I brought into the space that wasn’t healed yet. But we also had a very close and strong relationship with a lot of love.
      I realized in Dec. that ‘he’s the one’ for me and reached out to him in a letter to him letting him know and what I appreciated about him….and he told me that he’s seeing someone else, that he’s “not closed” to the idea of us, but not right now. I know he’s hurt and is concerned about things being how ‘they were’….which it wouldn’t be bc I have really done a lot of work on myself. He was head over heels for me the whole time and I just wasn’t ready.
      We’ve been really good friends and very close throughout the 3 years. It feels like I should stay in contact with him to build up the rapport and trust again, keep things light, but keep showing him the ‘new’ positive changes in me. He mentioned he was happy I was doing well bc I have been loosely keeping him posted with new developments through text and pictures. He doesn’t do social media.
      I have 2 questions:
      1. Would you recommend I tell him that I care about him and if that other woman makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him so he doesn’t think I’m staying in contact with him to win him back? and…..
      2. NC doesn’t feel right. Do you think it’s ok to stay in contact with him to build rapport and fun back up?

      Thank you.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You’re more likely to be friend zoned if you kept in touch..do no instead and then slowly build rapport after

  4. taylor - 0

    taylor

    Hi Chris
    I cheated on my bf two weeks in the relationship with my ex box I was unsure of I wanted him he found nd never told me or should I say confronted me, after 5months dating we left each other but we were communicating, I wanted attention so I sent him a mssge saying I cheated on him, in his mind I did it twice bcz he said he 4gave me the 1st time he doesnt know if it’s true or not be can’t trust me, then he asked for a break in this break he cheated on me so when we since last year we tried to pull it off then he told me he couldn’t do it then I chased him out of my room and the next day he officially dumped me..I tried begging him but he didnt want to he told me he didnt think this relationship would get this far and how much he wanted nothing serious with me at the moment and that he loved me as a friend but when he dumped me he said he still loves me, he said he doesnt like the person I am he doesnt want me drinking nor going out to clubs he said I will never change and he he doesnt want anything serious right now, his 2 years younger than me we both doing the same course in university we have been friends for 3 years he tried perusing me 2 years back but I turned it down..how can he not expect it wouldn’t get this far when he was talking about the future with introducing me to his brothers he even once told me about a dream he had were he was scared to introduce me to his mother which he loved to death but then I’n the dream me and his mom were drinking coffee and getting along quite well…I’m confused I feel like giving up bcz he said his blocking my blessings …I’m in my second week of no contact and I feel like myb I’m waiting my time because of the age and how he made it clear with me he can’t be with someone like me. Should I go on with NC? And improving myself???

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      if not, what’s your plan? to chase him or move on?

  5. Melody - 0

    Melody

    Background: I have been with this man since June of 2010 (off/on) We have lived together…me , him, my 3 kids, and later one of his 3 children joined in (now graduated college and left nest). We have had rocky ups and downs. From the start I was honest and said what I wanted before we jumped feet first (moving in together)…but that is really feet first. He was still in the military at the time and so we really was touch and go as I was so used to because I had gotten out of the military before him and way before we met. Any way….He proposed one day without a ring. I was upset, because there was no ring. Heres a man who has taken great care to anytime he surprises me so i was a little upset about not having a ring. Argument over that and then I had a ring and new proposal. A year went by and nothing. He just did his routine of video games and of course we went out and did things but it was just angering me that we didn’t have a plan to marry. So after a few arguments around Christmas 2014, I moved out in March 2015. Our contact then was touch and go and we both agreed on the separation. He never missed any of birthday or christmas when it cam to me and my children. In June 2015 we started seeing each other again. 2016 comes and things are moving and I was feeling like we were in stealth mode. I wanted a commitment. I put in my mind to give him 6 months to get it right and then he threw a curve ball and said he was moving to Florida. He found a renter for the house and he left because he said he hated the state of Va. So now I am forced into a long distance relationship. He promised he was doing this to get established and reorganize finances and start over. Meanwhile from the move up to October 2016, we saw each other every single month for periods of a week or more, because he would stay with me when he came up. In October he proposed again and said we would get married in June 2017. Well In November, I started to notice a change in behavior when he was leaving after visiting for 2 weeks. Then in December I blew a gasket. I was upset that he wanted to change up the plan again but in the same breath say he didn’t want to mess up the kids school schedule. I was more upset because in November I had moved somewhere smaller and cheaper and where I could break the lease so when it came time to move when the kids were out of school, it would be fine. He left the day after Christmas after being with me for almost 2 weeks. He didn’t talk to me until around the 21st of this past January. Then he decided to come see me. I was expecting that we would talk about what happened in December and get past it, but instead he went on to talk to my children about the move to Florida (where he is). Then he proceeded to dictate what I was going to get rid (the furnishings and my business items, which is how I provide) of before the move. I wasn’t happy with that and proceeded to ask questions. Then he said lets go to pre-marriage counseling. But never made the appointment for us to go. Because my insurance will not cover it, but his will, he said he would and never did. So then I asked about marriage plans, since we were suppose to get married In June this year and he says well lets see how counseling goes. I blew a gasket. I felt like he was making things up as we get closer, especially when I couldn’t tell anyone about getting married because it was uncertain since he kept changing it up according to finances. Now this seems stupid why we fell off…but i can admit I blow a gasket and argue about things that seem to be ever changing. When I am calm about it, like our conversation in December, he yells. He left in December because I said I didn’t want to do something and because I talked about the marriage plans. He said it sounded like an ultimatum and left. Now he left inJanuary this time because he said he was sick of going back and forth when he said we would get married….if we made a plan for June, why do you keep adding on other things. Premarital counseling wasn’t an issue, but it was something i suggested long ago and he declined. Whenever we make plans, he needs spontanatinety …whereas I love a plan of action. The last time i saw him was Jan 26 of this year. Since then he has sent money (significant amount in Feb) and he sent a gift on Valentine’s day. Texting was slow and phone conversations were never. When we did talk it was dry like he didn’t care. Mar 6, 2017 he sent money and arranged to have my car maintenance only because I called him. We talked all that day but not about us. He said he loved me before I went to bed. On yesterday at the wee hours of the morning he called. We talked about us. After a long heart breaking conversation about me being angry for wanting to be married before we move to Florida and about the millions of changes every time we get to this point (2nd engagement)…I asked him if he loved me…he said yes…I asked was he in love with me, he said yes. I said do you want to be with me he said no. We have almost 7 years together —— I love this man. I know he loves me too. He started the NC first this time, however i am aware it is contact if you send a gift, money or do anything where the other party is aware. I am on Day 10 of no contact with him… I am afraid. Does this seem possible to get him back?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Melody,

      communicate better.. let him know what you want because he doesn’t know that.. if you dont want to move to Florida, tell him why.. but dont do it while you’re angry..I think there’s still a chance.. just communicate better after nc

  6. Erin - 0

    Erin

    I did NC for a month, he didn’t reach out. So I did, we were talking, being friendly. Because he said ” I want to be friends and see if we can build back up to a relationship. ” So we were talking again, ended up on the phone with him. Asked if he meant it when he said he didn’t love me when he first left. He said he was sorry but he did mean it. Then I said to him ” you never want to be with me ever again, do you? ” and he said no. So he strung me along while we were talking, pretending he wanted to slowly work back up to a relationship, then admitted it was all bull. Also when we were ” trying ” I was constantly having to message him first. So now what do I do? It’s been over a month since the breakup and he is still sticking to what he said in the first place. I did NC, made sure my fb was active and happy, good photos. And I just got the same result as at the start. So what now?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Erin

      doing nc alone is not the sole solution. It’s a process.. after it you have to slowly build rapport while continuing to improve yourself.. Your questions were confrontational and it also showed you want him back, so now he knows your every move after that os to try to get it him back, which is what he doesn’t want right now.. It’s either you move on or do one last 45 day nc, accept he has moved on. So, that the goal is to reattract him.

  7. Anna - 0

    Anna

    Hi Amor!
    Some background story, my ex and I dated for almost six months when we broke up. We had broken up once before, it was just days before we got back together. This time it was an actual breakup. Throughout, the relationship we had problems that were small but made major, on both of our side. The reason we broke up was because we believed we were fighting too much, which I have looked back and it really wasn’t. The last time we talked about our relationship he told me that he wasn’t tired of me but that it was too much to come back from meaning that he believed he had made a lot of harm by breaking up with me. I completed the no contact rule and received a positive response when I first contacted my ex. He responded positively the rest of the days, but it soon became a thing which he messages me consistently and in others barely wants to talk. I’ve noticed it’s usually when I take long as in an hour or two (tops) to answer. We talked on the phone, he asked me if I had moved on I told him that I had that I’m getting there; he told me that he had done so, that he thought it was too soon for me to talk to him. I asked him if he wanted me to not talk to him that it was fine (I was literally playing with fire) well he told me that no that it was okay. I’m just really confused, could he had really moved on? Might I be losing his interest text messaging me?

    Thank you for your time!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Anna,

      he probably just said that because you said you did so just keep on talking and building rappoer4

  8. JJ - 0

    JJ

    Hi, EBR team!
    My ex boyfriend of 3 months officially broke up with me on Monday and so it’s been kinda a week since we broke up. He said it would be better to break up because he knew it wasn’t gonna work out for us in the future and that it was pointless to try now because we would just be more hurt in the future. I couldn’t agree with it because it didn’t seem too valid for me, I wanted to live in the present and just let us be happy while he worried about the future. It’s not like I wasn’t willing to look into the future too but yeah, he just decided to push our relationship away because of that. Also, he sort of had a little financial issue, i think this also caused him to stop the relationship.

    So anyway, when we broke up, he said he had been thinking about breaking up for 2 weeks or so and during the break up, both of us were crying and i had begged him to reconsider and tried convincing him. At the end, he said he’d try to rethink. But of course, we do know he’s not gonna change his mind.

    Tuesday, I was feeling positive, thinking he’s thinking about it and everything esp since we’ve kept contact and he still asks me how i was doing.

    Wednesday, I totally broke. I went through 3 stages of crazy-exgirlfriend moment. I had messaged him first telling him I wasn’t fine today and told him about my feelings (the sort of angry kind of thoughs, like why in a angry way), after, it became the let’s end this on good terms and try to be friends because he loves spending time with me and he didn’t want that to stop, it was supposedly ok, but right before bed, I went crazy, my thoughts were killing me so i messaged him again begging for just one chance and after a lot of “no, this is it, I’m not gonna try anymore”, he said yes to one day (Sunday). One day to try to change his mind.

    Thursday, I spoke to my school counselor and everything because i couldn’t cope, and I had been thinking of what to do on Sunday, trying to make the perfect plan. It was hard because I only had one shot.

    Friday, I couldn’t wait for Sunday. But then i realized that he was trying for me (I asked) on Sunday, not for us. He was sad and he didn’t expect me to hurt this much and I’m guessing he felt bad for me. i also said I’d stop pestering him once he gave me that one chance. But he said “even if I said yes to the chance but didn’t change my mind, you’d want to try again” but for my sake anyway. That night i begged to talk to him because my thoughts were running wilddd. He said no, he was tired because of work and Saturday he wanted a day of peace. He wasn’t gonna be on social media.

    Saturday, after speaking to a friend the night before and she suggested to NCR. He had snapped me because we have a streak going, and I snapped back and added something like “oh never mind about coming over tomorrow, dw about it” and his reply was ah ok. That ended. So that night i went out with a friend to a bar and drank and snapped (not to him but just my story) and he messaged me on SC smth like “oh looks like you’re having a lot of fun. Hope you have a good evening” and stupid drunk me replied “oh thank you, I will I miss you” and got seened. mistake.

    Sunday, my hand was itching to meet up with him. Yknow maybe this NC thing wasn’t gonna work for me and those things insecurities about it. I snapped him something and he replied “looking good xD” and i replied “:D”, seened again. Went out with my friend again that night, he didnt view my story snaps but he did send me a “streak” snap to keep it going.

    Today is Monday, and i promised myself I really am not going to contact him anymore and seriously start the NC rule. We always kind of communicate everyday, even if it was just a streak snap. (He has those with most of his close friends) should i just break the streak? If he messages me about anything on fb, I know i ignore it, but do i seen it?

    And honestly what are my chances of getting him back with the NCR? Apparently he explained to me that hes coping with this by “bottling up the sad and putting it away”. His decision does sound really final to me, but what do you think?

    I do know in the end, i have to work on myself though this too, and i will, I’m trying slowly by not being so attached but right now, I’m torn too because I’m hoping it will work and also not because maybe he’s glad I’ll finally stop and move on and I’m scared because he does mean a lot to me. And maybe he’s just going though a really hard time and i should just be his friend?

    Sorry for the long post but the frustration and thoughts are confusing me!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi JJ,

      you dont have to do that.. just keep on improving yourself and in posting in social media..why does he think it’s not going to work out?

    • JJ - 0

      JJ

      Bec I’m not locally from here and him too, we’re both in Australia to work and study, and he thinks i won’t be happy with him even if i went back with him or some sort like that. Basically i think hes over thinking everything right now?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      yeah, he’s probably overthinking it

  9. Chris Seiter - 4

    EBR Team Member: Amor

    Hi Trisha,

    approach the no contact period like this one:
    EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

    Reply
  10. Dora - 0

    Dora

    I purchased Ex-boyfriend recovery pro how can I join the Facebook group?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Dora

      when did you purchase it and is it the premium package? If yes, what email add did you use? I’m not going to publish your answer..

  11. Alex - 0

    Alex

    Hi guys.

    So, my ex and I have been broken up for about a year, after 2 years of being together.
    Immediately following the breakup, emotions were extremely high on both ends (of course). I of course did my begging and pleading. He would still send me messages, or memories and saying that he missed me, etc. Off and on tried NC, and failed each time. Many mutual friends involved here… not to mention, he kept offering friendship and I kept shooting it down.

    Fast forward to about three weeks to a couple of months ago. Suddenly things got super cold. I’m talking we were texting at a decent pace – emotion free messages – just friendly stuff. We had slept together a couple times (mistake, I know) – and then I finally was able to get him to agree to meeting out and talking. We did. He admitted that I was moving fast with the texts and that it was too much, and we needed to stop talking for a bit. We agreed to 2 weeks, and in that time frame I legit did not reach out. I did after the two weeks, and it was still no responses and no acknowledgments. I had moved into crazy ex territory, and I get that.

    I should also mention that in the past year, I have made a lot of positive changes in my life. I’ve joined Taekwondo, have taken road trips to get away and experience new places, I’ve gotten really involved in my community, and I can sincerely say that while I WANT him back…I don’t NEED him back. I am getting on just fine; I just obviously miss him and sincerely believe we could be happy together and share these experiences. I’ll always have feelings for him.

    I did speak to someone recently, that knows him and they told me that he mentioned that I hurt him – which I know I did. I apologised for many of the mistakes that I made, and I do know that I broke trust, and hurt him deeply – I just want him to see that I have changed, but I’m stuck at how to do that without coming across like a psycho forcing my change down his throat.

    To come back to the topic – just the other day I sent him a message along the lines of “I understand that I’ve been a quote unquote crazy ex with the with the contact, and I apologise if I’ve overwhelmed you, I guess I just was holding on the 2 week number and thought we could talk again. If you need more time, feel free to let me know – I just want to be honest” – he responded with “you say you are being honest, but texting me all the time, and messaging isn’t giving me the space”. I told him that I understand, and that’s why I blocked him on FB, because I realised that I was doing too much and moving in obsessive direction. He said “I just don’t want to have to worry about you thinking we have potential…. I offered a friendship and it was denied. I’ve moved on”

    Then, at 3am that night I get a message on an “app” saying, “surprisingly, there’s one form of communication I’m not blocked from”.

    At this point, it feels as if he is trying really hard to keep up a front that he has nothing for me, or that he isn’t willing to communicate – but, I feel he is doing it because he is hurt and confused about what it could mean to open up to me again. I wouldn’t feel this way if his messages weren’t so angry and aggressive – or the 3am messages after he’s blocked from FB.

    I’m just at a loss as to where to go from here, and how I can show him that I want to be nothing but honest with him, and rebuild our trust and connection from scratch.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Alex,

      why not try to do a full nc instead?

  12. Hannah - 0

    Hannah

    Me and my boyfriend broke up 2 days ago, its our second time breaking up. We love and care about eschother but we both arent good menally. We need time to get better before we can have a healthy relationship. How long could this take? He wants to try again eventually

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Hannah,

      That’s hard to say. How long were you together? If it’s not short, you can try the 30 day no contact rule.

  13. JS - 0

    JS

    I have had a terrible break up. He gave up too easily on me and didn’t try very hard to convince his parents. I was done and dusted with the on-off relationship. I heard everything from “you are everything I could ask for” “You are the best” “I love you more than you do” to “I don’t want a life partner like you” “Handle your mess of this breakup on your own”.
    He has always loved me for almost 5 years but he was a commitment phobic. His parents gave a strict denial to our relationship so I always left him thinking he would try harder. But all he did was get back with me in some way or another without any commitment.
    This time I decided to call it quits.

    Day 1 to Day 3 I cried miserably. I wanted him to miss me but that didn’t happen
    Day 4 I called him up, we spoke for 10 mins and he said he still loves me but there is no future so he will do as I suggested i.e. to never contact me again. I blocked him everywhere. I had taken my decision to move on. I started sketching on weekends. reading books after work. some or the other activity when free.
    Day 10 He emailed me a one sentence “I am leaving”, I simply ignored
    Day 15 He called and again I ignored
    Day 16 He emailed me ” I understand why you didn’t answer my call. I won’t ever call again.” I ignored that too.

    I know he loves me a lot but he can’t expect miracles to happen. His parents don’t like me and he won’t marry me without their consent.

    I am so damn stuck in this on-off relationship. I have decided to move on. But honestly I want him to convince his parents and get married to him. I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Js,

      tell him, if he’s not willing to do that, move on. Because you can’t live life waiting on someone else to do something you want. You can’t control other people.

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