By Rachel

After my last breakup, I knew my ex would be back. It was only a matter of time. In fact, I warned him as he was breaking up with me that he would regret it.

I even put a timeline on it. I estimated to myself that it would take about 6 months to change his mind. I guessed he’d be back by the end of summer.

My friends even began taking bets on how long it would take. There was no question in any of our minds that he would return.

I’m not psychic, but it happened. He came back. In the last weeks of summer, he returned and admitted he still loved me and was wondering if it would be stupid to try again. But, I had moved on to someone else who is a much better fit for me. I haven’t looked back since.

Most women in Ex Boyfriend Recovery don’t have that confidence in their ex’s return from the get-go. So how did I know he would be back?

There are several signs that my ex was exhibiting that made me confident that he would return. And that’s what we’re going to talk about. What are some signs that an ex will come back?

We’ll talk about those in a second.

Here’s everything we are going to cover today:

  1. Confidence
  2. What Makes A Man Come Back After A Breakup?
  3. How To Know If He’ll Come Back

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Confidence

The first thing I want to touch on is something I mentioned already. When my ex ended things with me, I didn’t beg, I didn’t plead. I was upset, but I didn’t want him to think I lived only for him, so I never begged him to reconsider. Instead, I became a bit of an ice queen. He wasn’t the first ex to point out how fast my warm disposition changed once broken up with. Most men who have hurt me are now scared of me.
I admit, yes, sometimes being cold makes me feel powerful when I’m trying so hard not to be vulnerable. But more than that, It’s a matter of confidence.
Now, I know how amazing of a person I am. I’ve learned what a good, giving girlfriend I am. So when an ex wants to leave the relationship, there’s always a part of me that wants to laugh. This is because I know exactly what they are going to be missing out on. And I am confident that all that’s needed is for some time to pass so they can realize what they gave up. I kind of treated him with an “I’m amazing, so you’re crazy for letting me go” attitude.
It’s natural to lose some self-confidence after a breakup. Having someone reject you and tell you that they don’t want you any more would bruise anyone’s ego. Do what you can to try to put on a confident face, f you’re in a situation with an ex and you still need to interact. Throw yourself into No Contact. Start making real changes in your life. This will not only put on the facade of confidence but will make you happier and more confident.

What Makes A Man Come Back After A Breakup?

As I mentioned earlier, men and women process things in different ways after a breakup. Men tend to make the decision to break up quicker. Once the relationship is over, they embrace the single life faster.
Women are more likely to mourn the relationship, but over time heal. Women also tend to take more time when making the decision to leave the relationship.
It Takes Time
It is absolutely essential that you give your ex time to process the breakup. He may need to get the single party lifestyle out of his system. After he does, he’s going to be faced with the reality of his decisions.
It’s not something you will want to dwell on. Dating around may be fun for a while. But when he’s sick in bed with the flu with no one to take care of him the way you used to, he’s going to feel pretty alone
Casual relationships are nothing and in the long run. They will bring him nothing but emptiness.
Giving him the time away from you is the first step, no matter how counter-intuitive it may seem.
Give Him Space
With time comes the need for space.
Time will do nothing if he does not have the chance to miss you. That is why No Contact is essential. It kills two birds with one stone. Make him face the repercussions of his actions. Disappear from his life entirely.
This time and space away from you will naturally make him miss you. It will give him a chance to forget the negativity of the breakup. It will naturally overwrite those memories with positive ones.
Making A Change
If you do it correctly, No Contact actually kills THREE birds with one stone. because the third thing on my list of what makes an ex come back is change.
Every relationship has issues. Something that will really get your ex’s attention is if he sees genuine change in you. He has to see a difference between who you were and who you are now.
The best thing you can do during
 is to focus on positive change, not for your ex, for yourself. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, so you might as well make yourself a priority. Right?
A Sense Of Urgency
Date around!
I know many women on this journey are resistant to it, but I can’t suggest it enough.
Have the confidence to know that you are one of a kind. And make it known that you aren’t waiting around.
Knowing I was seeing other people is what finally got my ex to admit his residual feelings for me. By the time he did though, it was too late. We call it moving on without moving on. It is a very powerful tool. And there is a reason that exes tend to come back as soon as we are over them.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Signs That He’ll Come Back

We see a lot of the same questions again and again.
“How long will it take him to text or call me after the breakup?”
“How long until he starts to miss me?.”
“It’s been 2 days. Why hasn’t he begged for me back yet?”
The thing is, the process is dependent on you, your ex, and the relationship the two of you had.
That being said, there are signs that he is likely to return to you, as well as common signs that he may be missing you.
We know what makes men come back after a breakup. Now let’s explore the signs they are likely to come back or are already on their way.
  1. He said he loved you at the time of the breakup: If your ex tells you he loves you at the time of the breakup, this is a great sign! It means you’re not dealing with a loss of love, but some other issue. Maybe it has to do with compatibility, or location, or some other life situation. But if you have the base emotion there, the key is going to be to get his emotional side to overtake his logical side. OR you could adjust your behavior.
  2. He seems genuinely upset at the prospect of losing you: Similar to the first point – if he seems upset when the breakup is occurring and seems sad and scared about the idea of not having you in his life, this is a good sign. But this means you absolutely need to stick to No Contact so that he can get a taste of what a life without you feels like.
  3. He initiates a lot (and not just for an ego boost or to get laid): If your ex is the one to initiate texts, phone calls, and makes plans to hang out, it means he is enjoying your company. He may even be toying with the idea of wanting to get back together. The key here is to not be too predictable. Cancel on him once or twice so he doesn’t get comfortable. Make it clear you are dating around or thinking about it.
  4. He asks you questions and genuinely cares about the answers: If you and your ex are in the rapport-building phase and he is interested in your life, that means he cares about you and what is going on in your life. If he’s asking questions, he may also be trying to gauge where your mind is at regarding him.
  5. He tells you he misses you: He might just be being honest and not thinking much of it. You can miss someone and not want to get back together. But if your ex tells you he misses being with you, he is being vulnerable with you. He is admitting that this separation has been hard on him too. My favorite response to him saying this? “Of course you do. I’m very miss-able.”
  6. He makes plans for the future: Be it coffee next week, or a concert in a month – if your ex is casually mentioning making plans with you in the future, it means he wants to see more of you. He is planning on keeping you in his life. The only thing you need to figure out is in which capacity he intends to keep you and if it is as his friend or a girlfriend.
  7. He slips and uses pet names from the past: It’s natural to do this to some degree. But if your ex slips and calls you “babe” or “sweetie” like he used to, it means he is feeling at ease with you. It may even mean that he is starting to view you in that capacity again.

The Take-Away

What do I want you to walk away from this article knowing?

Well…

  • There are four components that make men come back: time, space, change, and urgency.
  • Embracing No Contact and continuing to date around are great ways to cover all of those components. 
  • Keep an eye out for the 7 signs that will give away your ex’s intentions.
  • Remember to be confident in yourself and in your abilities.

The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Program isn’t just about getting your ex back. It’s about recovering yourself in the aftermath of your breakup. So, don’t be so hard on yourself,  and don’t be afraid to indulge in some self-care.

If you read up on No Contact, then you know that it is a period of time you spend not talking to your ex. But did you also realize that it is the perfect time to work on making your life better? That’s right! You aren’t supposed to just sit around. You are supposed to keepliving your life! Yes… even if it seems impossible.

Here’s a video Chris made to answer the most asked question we get about No Contact.

“Will My Ex Forget About Me During No Contact.”

Now that we’ve covered all of that, let’s start a conversation in the comments below. I want to know all about your relationship and your breakup. Keep it simple for us by telling us the following:

  1. The details surrounding your breakup.
  2. What have you done since the breakup?
  3. What do you think your next move is?

Our experts will help you figure out what your next best move is base on your personal situation.

What to Read Next

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356 thoughts on “7 Signs He Will Come Back After A Breakup”

  1. Avatar

    Ellie

    May 20, 2020 at 6:17 am

    My ex broke up with me for almost three weeks and he has me blocked on everything. I know he’s probably hurting as well but I miss him and I still want to be with him. When he broke up with me, he said his friends made him happier and he wanted to focus on his job. He also said I was too needy but that was only because he didn’t give me that attention. It’s common sense to give your significant other your love attraction, they shouldn’t have to ask for it. Despite that, I’ve been trying my best to not contact him and it’s just so hard.. I don’t want to break the no contact rule but what if he eventually moves on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 10:21 pm

      Hi Ellie, your ex is not going to get over you and move on in the space of 30 days. But it is important that you work on your Holy Trinity in that time to show change and growth on your part

  2. Avatar

    Bri

    May 17, 2020 at 8:10 pm

    I dated a guy for 3 months and I thought everything was going great. He recently told me that he’s not in love with my anymore and just needs time for himself. I told him I could change but he said he was confident in his decision. The pandemic also wasn’t helping our relationship given we only saw each other once a week. The breakup was very sudden and he did so on my birthday after an argument we had. I saw him the day after and we both still felt a connection but he said he just wasn’t invested in the relationship anymore. I’m very confused and also hurt because he never addressed any issues during the relationship and laid them all on me at once. I could use some help understanding the situation.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Bri you need to complete a no contact and then reach out after you have completed 30 days. The reason he gave you a list of reasons is because he wanted to show you he had made his mind up. You need to complete the NC because he is not going to change his mind in a week you need to give him space and time to realise that he may have been wrong in how he was thinking at the time

  3. Avatar

    Sarah

    May 11, 2020 at 3:34 pm

    My ex dumped me last month because he started having doubts about the relationship. We were going out 8 months when he ended it. He appeared to be overwhelmed and confused at the time when he broke things off. It was actually me that questioned how the relationship was going. I love him and still do but he told me for the first few months of the relationship he fell head over heels for me. He treated me like a princess and I treated him as good. We never had a fight, never argued (maybe this was a bad thing). I was his first girlfriend. He was 21 and I was 22. He told me he felt innocent and that he’s scared of settling for me because he hasn’t been with anyone else ever. I was his first everything so I could understand how he was feeling whereas I have had previous relationships so I was heartbroken to hear this. He also said he wasn’t sure if he still loves me and had doubts so said it was best end things. Distraught me begged for him back for the first week but then decided to give him space. It took him 32 days to message me because he “needed to clear his head”. He just asked “how are you” I responded and he said that he still feels bad about the break up and wanted to talk a bit. I asked him if he still had feelings for me and he said he doesn’t think he does but he still thinks of me and misses me sometimes. He also said he wanted to get his life together before me meets someone as good as me. Do you think I have any hope? I really did think he was the one I would have married.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 19, 2020 at 5:54 pm

      Hi Sarah, this is difficult situation because he has been honest and said he wants to see who else is out there and if there is a better match for him basically. You need to work on yourself in this time and read about being the Ungettable girl and using social media and any mutual friends to influence his impression of you. I would suggest that you follow a 45 day NC and she has told you he doesn’t want to “settle” for you. You need to show him how hes just lost the best girl he was going to get

  4. Avatar

    Amy

    May 6, 2020 at 10:11 pm

    I dated a guy on and off for nine months. The last two we weren’t together. He recently ended it a chose his friend over me. The woman is married and was religious and her husband is suffering from ptsd and she has child. It has really hurt me I feel betrayed.

  5. Avatar

    Meg

    May 6, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    The guy I was talking to was my best friend first. He knows everything and anything about me and around New Years we decided to try out a relationship. Talked everyday he told me I was not like other girls. Told me how much he missed me and just genuinely was acting like I was everything he wanted. His sister just got engaged and is getting married in 2 YEARS and said he only wants me as his date. I FaceTime with him and his sister have met the family and he just seemed he was so into me. Then in the flip of a switch he just says this isn’t going to work and that we are in two different stages of our lives and he has had time to think about that now that we are in this pandemic. I was completely blind sided because before this quarantine he knew what both of our lives were like. He has treated me better than any guy I have ever talked to and I’m just so heart broken cause I saw a future with him. I don’t know what to do I know him so well and did not think this was going to end this way. He had to go home because of this pandemic and he kept telling his parents how I was going to come visit. I feel that he didn’t even let us give it a chance because of everything going on and it just does not seem fair to me.

  6. Avatar

    Pam

    May 2, 2020 at 11:40 pm

    He broke up with me via text. The night before I sent him a message on messenger that he was up late (11:15 PM). That is late for him. He didn’t respond so I texted him at 11:30 PM because he was still in Facebook messenger and said not sure why you are up so late but something on Facebook has your attention and it’s not me. He responded and said some of his buddies from work had sent him videos. I did not respond. I didn’t believe him. Well he had been at my house that night. His phone beeped and he went in another room to see the message. I walked in on him looking at his phone. It did not ask what the message was. We had been dating 11 months. He went home that night and texted me he had a great time and he loved me. The next day I texted him around 12:30 and told him I hope he was having a good day. He responded two hours later with the text. He said it seems like every time he gets on Facebook I think he is cheating on me and we need to go our separate ways. I responded that he had been chasing ass on Facebook and he had lied to me. I told him I was done with him too. Nothing back from him. That was last Friday. A week ago. Well I texted him on Monday and said that I hated how things ended and I do love him and want him to be happy. I got nothing back and no contact. I had caught him posting statements on women that he is following back in December. He would comment great pictures, beautiful, looking good. He promised he would t do it again and he did to the same person about a month later. I forgave him but I didn’t trust him. He has done nothing to change his behavior because he didn’t feel like he did anything wrong. He has not been divorced long. He had been separated over a year when I started dating him and he has been divorced for seven months. He had a woman living with with him for eight months before he and I began dating.

  7. Avatar

    Greedy Fairy

    May 2, 2020 at 2:54 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I are together for 6 years. He broke up with me 6 days ago and blocked me from all of his social media accounts, gaming accounts ( we used to play online games together ), he changed his email password and created a new Facebook account blocking me and my entire family members.

    The reason of the break up is that he got fed up from how I react on certain things. We ended up with a fight, cursing each other and spill words I didnt mean. I needed to ask help from our friends just to know how’s he doing and ask him about the break up, luckily he respond and told them his side of the story, he just kept on telling them that he’s sooo done with me and my attitude. Telling them that I never appreciated him and that I am always angry at him. He’s really angry, doesnt want to talk to me anymore and his descision is final( We broke up several times before due to the same reason) and now he is convinced that my attitude will never change.

    I tried contacting him a couple of times telling him dont leave me, that I am sorry. I tried everything, used different email, numbers and etc but I ended up being blocked.

    I want him back. What do you think I should do? Will he ever came back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 7, 2020 at 7:57 pm

      Hey there so the issue is that you are not realising that your arguing and “attitude” that he refers to needs to change before he is willing to come back. If you are giving him the feeling that you are always angry with him, then he is going to reach the end of his tether of putting up with it just because he cares about you. You need to go into a full 45 day No Contact, stop asking your friends to check on him and talk to him about you as this is not going to help your chances of getting him back. You need to give him space, real space and silence. I think you should work on yourself during this time and ask why are you coming across as someone who is angry, the impression you need to leave him alone and focus on yourself is to become happy. You need to be a happy person who is leaving a positive feeling on people when they have spent time with you.

  8. Avatar

    Nuzzlie

    April 14, 2020 at 2:38 am

    Hello, so me and my 2 years bf broke up 14 days ago, i wanted to fix the problem because we love each other so much but he told me love isnt everything and that everytime we’re doing the same mistakes( we argue alot) so i kinda write him a big paragraph about my deep feelings but he saud thank you for trying but its over, so i started the no contact rule and 5 days went . I uploaded a picture of me and he saw it on insta story, i uploaded people should move on and let go and be happy and he saw it too, he became active on social media in those 5 days, he uploaded a quote saying i do a thing called what i want, i dont know why but i feel like he is mad at me right now and showing me that eventhough i love you but i dont care about my feelings(he means his feelings(he told me that while breaking up) but i have a reallyyyy strong feeling that we’re gonna be back together but we needed time

  9. Avatar

    Candy

    April 7, 2020 at 2:37 am

    My ex (43) and I (37) were together for about a month. We met and fell head over heels rather quickly. He was enamored with me, telling me he had never met a woman like me, that I was amazing because not only could I cook from scratch but I could fix things around the house, have intelligent conversations, his friends loved me, his mom loved me and I was beautiful. He said he could picture getting old with me, he wanted me to be by his side, etc. These compliments continued throughout the entire relationship, however, about two weeks into it, I said something to him that apparently scared him as we soon had a talk about how he wanted to pump the brakes a bit. I didn’t mind that at all but it was a bit hard to adjust to as for the first two weeks he wanted to see me/be with me 100% of the time and all of a sudden it was about half that. I shared my feelings with him and he apologized but reiterated that he wanted to slow it down, but said he’d make more of an effort to make me feel wanted. Fast forward to about a week ago. He’d been gone all weekend and with the quarantine going on, I’ve been a bit stressed…my kids are home from school and I have try to work from home; I went to visit him when he got home and I guess I’d had this scenario in my head where he would have missed me and would be super excited to see me so when he didn’t act like it I got a bit emotional. And by a bit I mean I cried – HARD. It ended in me leaving because he was exhausted from the weekend and even though I was just trying to tell him how lonely I had been feeling, he said I made him feel like I was blaming him for things that he didn’t feel like he had done. The next day he said he wanted a break and a few days later, ended it – he said that his exes all made him feel like that and he promised himself he’d never let anyone make him feel like that again. I did grovel and beg but he is now ignoring me and unfriended (but didn’t block) me on FB. I’ve decided to start NC so I don’t know if he has actually blocked my phone number but I’m too scared to find out (and that would end the NC). The problem, though, is that THAT GIRL that cried and got super emotional isn’t the typical me! I’m really being affected by this pandemic thing – I’ve already contacted my PCP and she increased my anxiety medication and I made an appointment with my therapist (whom I haven’t seen in awhile but wasn’t seeing her for this type of thing previously). Even if it was me, I want to show him that I’m making an effort, not only for him, but for me. But how do I do that if he’s not talking to me?? I really think we’re a good fit, and he told me when we first met that he’d given up finding anyone and was content to die alone until I messaged him on FB and even then he was skeptical. He was REALLY into me. I’m so sad. 🙁 Do you think there’s a chance??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 14, 2020 at 7:23 pm

      Hi Candy, I think when you have spent some time focusing on yourself and then reach out when you are feeling better mentally and emotionally (30 days NC at least) that you could possibly start re building your connection – It is also good to remember that sometimes when we first meet people and we are in the exciting honey moon phase that we say things that we mean but we’re caught up in the moment and when things start to settle we realise we did not want to move as fast as we have done. I would say this is whats happened with him, hes realised how fat paced things have become

  10. Avatar

    Sindi

    April 4, 2020 at 4:25 pm

    Sindi
    HI, my story is long but I need advice I’m drowning in depression and I don’t know who to talk to.
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 9months. It was the best relationship ever and he’d say that it’s the best relationship he has ever had. I started having dreams about him cheating and communicated that with him, we laughed about it. He promised he will never destroy something so beautiful and said I must kill the bitch who would be stealing my man and we laughed about it. Four days ago he just went awol, for the first time ever in our relationship. I was so worried, I went to his place to check if he’s OK. I found him with another woman, the girl was very violent, he started beating him up and tried to fight me but I didn’t fight back. She took his car and house keys, locked us out of the house and ordered him to dump me or he will never get his car back. He ended up dumping me, I told him I’m not going anywhere without answers. He told me it’s an old ex, she texted him and said she was bored then she popped up and one thing led to another. He begged me to go for my own safety coz she’s very toxic and violent and I saw that for myself. She left with his car and house keys, we were then stuck outside. I asked him why he did this and why did he dump me infront of her, he said he was trying to avoid drama and protect his belongings. He said he’s embarrassed by what he did to me, he never wanted to hurt me like that but he’s scared he might hurt me again so he needs space. I cried and begged him to stay, he said he loves with all his heart and doesn’t want to be responsible for my heartbreak. He feels like an asshole, he’s so embarrassed he can’t even look at me. He told me how toxic his relationship with that girl is but apparently he broke up with 3 other girls before me cause of her. She leaves, sleep with other men and come back when she finds out he has moved on and do the samething to every girl. I asked him why he allows her back into his life, he said he doesn’t know but he knows its not love maybe its cause they have history but he knows their relationship will never work. While we were still talking she came back with a different car, forced him to leave with her or he’ll never get his car back. He left. He left me, he chose her over me his friends told me that this is what she always does. It’s been four days. He said he is sorry and he broke up with her but he’s not ok, he needs a few days to process everything that happened. He is actually like that, when he’s upset, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. I phoned him today and asked him to give me closure, explain why he did what he did, he said he doesn’t know. He told me we will talk soon and asked me to be patient. I’m confused, I miss him, I love him and I don’t know if its worth the fight.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 9, 2020 at 10:54 pm

      Hi Sindi, I say focus on yourself and getting over this guy the situation he is involved in sounds toxic. I would not try to get him back until he is completely done with that other woman out of his life!

  11. Avatar

    Chelsea D

    April 2, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    Hey there.. just here for a little bit of advise after a breakup. My ex boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. I have a son who isn’t my ex boyfriends, his dad is not in the picture. Anyway, we were living together with my son for about 6-7 months. A little background on my ex.. He has suffered from depression for years and has been taking medication to treat it. So about a month ago he ran out of medication and started drinking. He was drinking and not going to work, and was pushing everyone away. He kicked me and my son out of his house about 2 weeks ago and then blocked me on phone/text and facebook. He told me he needed to get himself together before he dates anyone else. Everytime I would ask about us he would avoid the question and say he doesn’t want to talk about that right now. It’s been about a week and im still blocked. His family still loves me and my son and thinks he just needs time. How do I know if he really wants to be done? I still love him and want to make things work. What should I do? Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 9, 2020 at 8:28 pm

      Hi Chelsea, I would suggest that you work the program starting with the No Contact rule and working on yourself in that time best you can

  12. Avatar

    sou

    April 1, 2020 at 8:19 am

    The details surrounding your breakup.

    Hi, my exboyfriend and I broke up in around January but have still been seeing eachother and making it work. It hasn’t. I put in all the effort and he claims he’s putting in the effort but it was making us unhappy. The initial reason for the break up was that I had slept with someone while I was on a trip and we were only seeing eachother at the time. 4 months into seeing eachother he told me he loved me and I said it back aswell. Considering I was going on a 6 week trip around Europe I had slept with someone else, he had broken up with me 3 times while I was away and said he wasn’t sure about us. I didn’t feel much security in us getting back together after my trip. While I was away I was offered a job in the UK where he lives as I’m from canada and I took the job to be closer to him. Knowing what I did I never told him. The guy I slept with somehow gave me an sti that went unnoticed for me and somehow i gave it to my ex who I returned to the UK to be with. It caused problems but he forgave me at first. I never told him when or any details but it caused problems and lies in our relationship and it took me 4 months to tell him when I should’ve told him while working on things. I’ve lost his trust and some of his love. He can’t look at me the same anymore. I love him so much and only wanted to be honest with him fully which made him walk away. I do love him so much. I know he keeps pushing me away sometimes but he also comes back and talks to me and always helps me when I need something it’s been a few days since we’ve cut all ties now. I want him back I don’t know what to do. He asked me if he could move on and I set him free but he always had that choice if he wanted to. I said I accepted it and would set him free. If you love something set it free right? My ex and I always knew we would get married and we had such an amazing relationship until all the stuff that happened when we were apart tainted that. I want him back I’m not sure what to do. I haven’t spoken to him nor has he spoken to me and he’s not active on social media much. Last we spoke he said he was really upset and it was painful to look at me.

  13. Avatar

    Karina

    March 30, 2020 at 4:16 am

    Hi,
    My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. I was his first love at age 23 and he lost his virginity to me as well so when he broke up with me he stated he loved me and couldn’t imagine life without me however, since we promised to be honest with one another. He told me he had been thinking what sex would be like with other woman and since he didn’t want to cheat on me he had to break up with me.. now he isn’t a guy to just have sex, he has to build those strong emotions with someone and so I’m afraid he won’t come back to me. But I miss him soooo much and I don’t know what else to do. It’s only been 7 days and it’s driving me crazy.. he already called me private during the week so I know he is thinking of me but he hasn’t texted me..

    We both talked about kids, wedding, life. And when he broke up with me he was crying and I was crying and he even disclosed he wasn’t 100% sure with his decision but felt like he had too. I’m trying to give him space and I’ve been doing it but the thought of him falling in love with someone breaks me..

  14. Avatar

    Kate

    March 27, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Hey, my boyfriend of ten years basically said he was worried about the future and worried I would leave him in years to come when we had children and I wouldn’t be happy on where we had to move. He said we needed time apart I totally freaked. Tried to get him not to go and didn’t give him space. Totally pushed him away saying we could work on it etc. He then came back and changed saying he didn’t know if he had feelings for me and that couples always break up and get back together. Devastated I tried again to get him back and asked to meet and we met and he said nothing has changed and that absence makes the heart grow fonder and that we became like friends. I told him that all long term relationships are based on friendship and that you need to work to keep it going. I was so upset. I definitely want to get back together. We never had any problems before this. We always get on so well and have so many jokes and similar personalities and we’re from the same area so we know our families well. His dad has been in contact with me saying he’s not himself and told him he’s going to regret doing this. He was always so so into me ever since day one. I think I pushed him away now by trying to get him to change his mind. He told me at the start that I was perfect and he doesn’t know why this is happening and it could be the biggest regret of his life. So I’m going to cut him off now for the moment. We lived together too and he said at the beginning that we could start somewhere new eventually. I feel like that feeling has changed though since I kept at him. What do you think? My friends reckon if I give him time he’ll come back. His friend said I should give him time to miss me but I don’t want him to remember me as this girl. He said I deserve better than him and I was always too good for him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 29, 2020 at 11:00 pm

      Hi Kate your friends are right give him space, you need to do a 30 NC and then a holy trinity which you can find the information on this website

  15. Avatar

    Solmary

    March 24, 2020 at 12:13 am

    It been a week already sense he left me after 16months together… he is 40yr old and I’m 31.. the relationship was great he became a retire veteran and only has 2years of a contract that was transferred to a different state, the state we was planning to build our future family and marriage.. he even was talking about marriage … he left me during an argument that for me was stupid but for him he left me… mind you we also had a break up 6months prior and made it through it… he was upset cause I did a drunk text him and he gotten so offended and I’m never a drinker and the text wasn’t even bad just I ruined his sleep.. which I apologize and he said he’s confused with the text and he even called me drama and a lot of things… I said a lot things too and was offended by what he said outta anger… I was never ever expecting him to speak like that and most importantly We was talking about the future within the time the contract ends… so I gave him a little space to see if we could talk it out but he did responded but it was cold shoulder and told me to stop … I accidentally text him today cause it was for someone else and it got send to him and he said stop doing accidents texts…. so I called him to explain to him it was an accident and he said just to delete his text message to stop acting we are in a relationship… I asked him one question to see if it got to do with an other woman, mind you I never ever doubted him at all to a point I’m a very confident woman… so he didn’t given me no answer just told me to delete hiS texts from my text messages So it won’t be no accident… I normally would flip out and go crazy but I took a breather and said okay that’s what you want I would respect it and goodbye , I hung up… I know he left me because I did a stupid move but never ever would’ve thought he would leave me… I was married before in a toxic relationship and I know where’s toxic but I actually want to do the No Contact to him… would that actually work being due his age and what happened!?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 31, 2020 at 1:14 am

      Hi Solmary, yes NC will still work we have many clients who have done this with much older people and it has worked. Giving that you have an active No Contact and follow the information given on this website to help you through the process

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    Ebony

    March 20, 2020 at 9:35 am

    My ex and I got together kinda quickly…. we met on tinder, but he told his parents & friends about me before I met him. Fast forward, things are great we decided to be in a relationship a month after we met, I bought him our first flight together , diamond earrings, a scratch off map of the places we’d go together for his bday, as well as bought his mom stuff for her bday & just because gifts as well. Because I was a little insecure about my past he ended it with me. (I would say stuff like “are we really gonna stay together”) not all the time. But anyway when we broke up, I was really sad, confused, depressed. He knew I had been mistreated before in the past. (He used to buy me stuff & surprise me with it at work or home). When we broke up I’ll admit I did text him from different numbers, And I did text his friend to ask what I did wrong because I was genuinely confused why he left over something so small when he’s used to dating girls who used him, and dated his friends behind his back. He’s changed his number & blocked me on everything. (We’ve only been broken up for 2 weeks) We used to talk all day everyday & if we weren’t talking we were together, we used to say to each other “ you’re my person it’s just us we’ll work it out” we were almost like best friends… working on our credit together, we loved going out to different restaurants and trying new food. I’m just wondering if he’s going to think bad about me because of how I handled the break up. I would like for him to come back, but I feel like it’s a lost cause now 🙁 what do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 5:45 pm

      Hi Ebony, so the fact that your ex ended things based on the fact that you were insecure it seems more than any other reason from what you have said above. I would suggest that you work on your self esteem and show your ex that you know your worth and how you are only going to accept the best for yourself and start doing things that are what we call here “ungettable” and use social media to show how positive you are and how great life is going for you now. It takes time but follow the program starting with a no contact and your ex will realise you are coming out of a bad place and blossoming

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    Nana

    March 17, 2020 at 5:25 pm

    Hi. My boyfriend and I broke up last week , he said he needs some space to deal with personal issues , he needs to find himself. He told me that he loved me but I shouldn’t wait for him because that would be unfair to me. I really miss him , I even went to see him and we had sex , he seemed to regret his decision. But I don’t think he will come back to me

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 17, 2020 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Nana so first thing, make sure you do not have a sexident again. That is not going to help you get your ex back. Chris released a video about this today if you want to go check that out! Complete a no contact and do not meet up unless you are following the value chain properly

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    Sophie

    March 14, 2020 at 12:41 am

    Hi, I don’t typically comment on these things but I was wondering what advice I could get. My ex broke up with me about 4 months ago in November and it’s been a rather strange one. He said he still loved me and would want to be with me but he didn’t feel like he could give me what I deserved. I guess he realised that he needed to work on himself and become a better man, despite the fact I’ve always thought he gave me enough. I think now I look back though we both might have been too immature to be in such a serious relationship at such an age (19/20). At the initial start of the breakup, I will admit, I wasn’t the best with no contact. I didn’t message him an outrageous amount but I still did – although I did get some confirmation that he was also missing me and having a hard time with it all as well. The difficult thing is we’re in the same friendship group at University, so it’s hard not to hear about him. But I started no contact officially when we went on Christmas break (which was for about three weeks). When we came back we didn’t speak but we did arrange to meet up. When we did we both realised that we still get on really well and have a nice connection but we’re still hurting from the breakup and that we still need some time before we can start becoming friends again. I know I need to work on myself and try not to focus on him but I’m finding it really difficult. How would you recommend I carry on as well as trying to get him back to me? Though we’re both in the same Uni and friendship group, he’s going on a placement year next year and he won’t be around at all, so I’ll have a year without being of him as much. During that time, I was going to try and better myself so that when I see him in our final year, I’ll see where we both stand. Do you think there’s still a chance for us? and what things do you think I should do to better my chances?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 12:46 am

      Hi Sophie so working on yourself is going to improve your chances where you know you are the best your ex is ever going to be with. Working on self confidence, being happy in life and working on your health, wealth and relationships with friends and family in that time.

  19. Avatar

    Vanessa

    March 13, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    My ex (25) and I (26) were together for 1.5 years – we met in school, had mutual friends, and were living together for 6.5 months of that in which we were abroad for 4.

    I went to visit my family for a week and he stayed back, citing different somewhat legitimate reasons, but he would call and text me everyday and make plans for the future (eg going together to a gala, extending our lease). We talked till 1 am the day before I was supposed to get home (he had promised to grab me from the station). 9 hours later, he called me in a 2 minute phone call, told me he had moved out, he loved me but it wasn’t working out, then hung up before I could say anything. He blocked me and my friends on every platform. Then I come back to a two page non-sensical love letter and a bottle of wine… a week later I sent him back a goodbye email.

    I know anyone deserves so much more than what happened to me. I’ve seen him since at school but I don’t even have anything left to say. But I still wake up each morning these past three weeks, thinking of him and thinking maybe he’ll reach out

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 18, 2020 at 1:01 am

      Hey Vanessa it is not that easy to get over things, it takes time and it also takes you to be willing to move past it. Look for my articles and videos about becoming Ungettable and when doing so you will find that in time you start getting over your pain and missing him so much. Go into a No Contact regarding your ex, and if you decide you want to get your ex back reach out with a text we recommend.

  20. Avatar

    Savanna

    March 9, 2020 at 1:43 pm

    Hi there

    My ex and I were together for 7 years. We broke up for the first time after I went away to school because we kept fighting and the distance was hard for us. We kept talking the whole time but after a few weeks he didn’t reply as frequently. Turns out he was dating another girl but said he still has feelings for me. We got back together with the idea of taking things slow. I rushed it and I got hurt and angry because I felt like he wasn’t interested in me anymore. We hung out a few weeks ago, got drunk at a bar and he ended up staying the night. The following day, we get coffee and hang out all weekend. He said he still loves me, he cares about me and that he isn’t sure what he wants (ouch). Prior to hanging out, after a pretty big fight and me just being busy, he stopped replying. I asked what was up, he said he is moving on but not with someone else, he just couldn’t obsess over it anymore. I begged and pleaded for a while but I haven’t reached out in 12 days. I’ve talked to some people, our mutual close friend and told them he’s ghosting me. I’m worried because I don’t know this side of him. I’m not sure what to do. I’m thinking maybe he’s waiting the 60 days before I graduate college and he’s just putting this relationship on the back burner for a while. He and I are best friends, I told him when we were hanging out I would wait for him and I’m not going anywhere. Our friends have mentioned how he’s been drinking a lot, never wanting to be alone and always hanging out with them. Maybe he doesn’t wanna think about it for a while? I don’t see him as the type to totally walk away without saying anything.

    So what do I do?
    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 20, 2020 at 9:36 pm

      Hey Savanna you need to go into a No Contact, IF YOU WANT HIM BACK AS A BOYFRIEND. Ignore any messages you get and just focus on yourself and your friends. Holy Trinity work is going to be focusing on your health wealth and relationships (friendships) reach out with a text that Chris suggests after 30 days

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