The Female Mind During The No Contact Rule

Without a doubt one of the most popular articles that I have ever written in the history of this site is my “male mind series. (1) (2)

Essentially I took a concept like the no contact rule and took a deep dive into what a man was thinking during it and after it.

Women seemed to like to know what is going on in the head of their ex boyfriends, go figure.

Now, here is the thing about the no contact rule.

Pretty much every article I ever write about it is popular.

Seriously, take a look at the comment counts on my articles relating to no contact. Almost all of them have received over 100 comments,

screen-shot-2016-11-14-at-10-40-52-am

Well, yesterday someone asked me a really fascinating question. Now, bear in mind that I am paraphrasing here,

Chris, you write so much about how the no contact rule and how men think during it. How about you do an article on the thoughts that women have during it? And maybe you could pinpoint the negative thoughts we have and how we should combat them.

And now here we are!

My intention with this article isn’t to intimidate you by showing you how difficult the no contact rule can be for women.

Instead, it’s to inspire you to keep going.

It’s to give you a quick cheat sheet that you can glance at when you have a negative thought that makes you want to break the no contact rule.

First things first though, let’s take a moment to define what the no contact rule is.

A Quick Explanation Of No Contact

Honestly I feel like a broken record at this point. I have “defined” the no contact rule so many times throughout this site that I feel like you guys are going to slap me,

slap

The no contact rule is essentially a period of time where you ignore your ex boyfriend. In other words, if he calls, texts, Skypes, Facebooks or does something else to get your attention you are supposed to ignore those attempts.

Now, when I explain this part of the no contact rule to people they understand it completely.

It’s this next part where the trouble seems to start.

The no contact rule is going to benefit you in two primary ways,

  1. By ignoring your ex boyfriend you are going to raise the chances of having him miss you.
  2. It’s going to give YOU time for personal growth.

Most people get that by ignoring someone the chances that they will miss you are higher. In fact, most of the women who try the no contact rule are drawn to it for that reason. However, that’s actually not the most important part of the no contact rule. Instead, freeing up time for personal growth is.

Our research has found that women who take the time that they are in the no contact rule to facilitate their own personal growth have better results when it comes to getting their exes back.

And there is a specific segment who come the conclusion that they never even wanted him back.

Of course, out of all the strategies that we recommend here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery the no contact rule is without a doubt the one strategy with the highest fail rate.

Now, what do you think I mean by that?

Well, what I mean is that women who try the no contact rule come into it all “gung-ho” about completing it without any slip ups but when push comes to shove they cave the very first time that their ex reaches out to them.

Well, what if I told you that I have a trick that you could use to prevent yourself from breaking the no contact rule.

My Secret Trick

Now, before I start diving into the female mind during the no contact rule it’s very important that I teach you this secret trick.

Why?

Well, a lot of the things I talk about after this section can be solved if you put this one trick into practice.

Last month I interviewed a PHD by the name of Glenn Livingston.

Not only is this man a veteran psychologist and CEO of a multi-million dollar consulting firm he has also authored the best selling book on Amazon for binge eating.

screen-shot-2016-11-14-at-11-11-49-am

Do you see that book at the top there, “Never Binge Again,” Yup, Glenn Livingston authored that and he was kind enough to come onto our show and talk about his experience with helping binge eaters.

Now, I know what you are thinking?

Umm… how does this even apply to the no contact rule?

Well, what originally was meant to be a talk on binge eating soon turned into a talk on the no contact rule and breaking the bad habit of contacting your ex. It turns out that Glenn’s interview holds the greatest trick to NOT contacting your ex during the no contact rule. Take a look below,

In case you didn’t have time to watch the whole interview the gist of Glenn’s strategy goes like this,

Did you know that when you go through a breakup the part of your brain that becomes active is the exact same part of the brain that becomes active in a drug addict going through withdrawal.

In other words, as you are going through a breakup you are going to be feeling very similar effects to an addict going through withdrawal.

Now, let me ask you a question.

A drug addict who is going through withdrawal wants what above all else?

They want drugs.

Well, since you are going through your own little withdrawal period what is the one thing that you want more than anything during your breakup.

You want to talk to your ex.

Of course, this goes completely against everything the no contact rule stands for. So, you have these two conflicting forces at odds with one another and often times your primal need to talk to your ex wins out.

And really it all starts with the voice in the back of your head.

You know, the one that is constantly telling you things like,

“What’s the big deal if I talk to him?”

 

“I wonder what he is up to? I have to find out.”

 

“I miss him so much, let me just ask him a question. What’s the harm in that?”

This inner voice is often the root of all of your problems.

That’s where Dr. Livingston’s method comes into play. He recommends that you find a way to make the voice sound disgusting to you. So disgusting in fact, that you want to barf every single time you hear it.

Now, it may sound a little goofy and simple at first.

But the more you establish this habit in repetition the more you are going to condition yourself to not listen to it.

Ultimately it’s one of your best weapons to beat the addictive behavior that is so common during the no contact rule.

Of course, I entitled this resource, “The Female Mind During The No Contact Rule” so lets talk about some of the things that are almost guaranteed to go through your mind during the no contact rule.

Are you ready?

I hope so!

Thought #1: This Is Going To Be Easy

I first read about the no contact rule back in 2012.

Care to take a guess at what my very first thought was upon reading about it,

“That’s it? That’s so easy.”

It was shocking to me that something that seemed so easy was being recommended by many of the foremost experts in the field. Nevertheless, I went with it and started recommending it to my own audience.

After a few months of hearing back from them I realized the truth.

The Truth: Most of the women who tried the no contact rule ended up failing at it.

But why?

Why had so many women failed?

Well, I think it has to do with that addiction bit.

It’s so difficult to stop an addiction where you are literally one text message away from engaging in it.

Of course, most of the women who end up deciding that they want to do the no contact rule will no doubt have this mindset that it’s going to be easy.

I hate to break it to you but it’s not.

In fact, I estimate that 8 out of 10 women who try NC will end up breaking it early when they aren’t supposed to.

Don’t take this lightly.

How To Combat This Thought

I am going to level with you.

Not falling victim to this thought will be extremely difficult.

Why?

Because the no contact rule sounds like such a simple premise.

Again, don’t let it’s simplicity fool you.

Instead, my biggest recommendation here is to plan accordingly.

You see, the no contact rule would probably be a lot easier if it was only supposed to last a week. However, in most cases it is going to last an entire month.

Most people make it past a week but it’s the next three weeks that become troublesome.

So again, my recommendation is to map out how you are going to stay occupied so that you don’t break it.

A great way to do this is with a calendar.

You know, one of these,

celandar

I want you to map out every day that you are in the midst of a no contact rule.

Write out what you are going to do, how it’s going to benefit you and so on and so forth.

By having a clear plan it’s going to make your life that much easier during the no contact rule.

Thought #2: What If This Doesn’t Work?

There’s no doubt about it.

When you try the no contact rule you are taking a leap of faith.

You are hoping that he misses you.

You are hoping that this deep intense pain that you are feeling from the breakup will subside.

But “hope” isn’t a guarantee.

And this fact probably gnaws at you.

That voice in the back of your head whispers,

“What if this doesn’t work? Is this even worth it?”

I will be the first to tell you that when it comes to exes there are no guarantees.

But I feel strongly enough to make one statement.

If you do the no contact properly it is guaranteed to work in one way.

What Does That Mean?

Think of it like this.

Most people who try the no contact rule are trying it to make their ex miss them. And without a doubt it can accomplish that.

However, there are no guarantees.

But I feel like people who look at the no contact rule just to make their ex miss them are missing the entire point of it.

The part of the brain that becomes active when you go through a breakup is the same part of the brain that becomes active when a drug addict is going through a withdrawal.

The no contact rule essentially forces you to stop focusing on your addiction (your ex) and focus that energy inwards.

In fact, we have seen that women who really take this fact to heart have incredible results in not only their personal lives but they also have a higher chance of success when it comes to getting their ex back.

So, by properly implementing the no contact rule where you focus a lot of energy on yourself you are guaranteed to have something positive happen to you.

Get it?

The no contact rule serves an amazing application and you are guaranteed to get something positive out of it as long as you put more energy into yourself as opposed to into your ex.

Thought #3: What If He Doesn’t Try To Contact Me?

I just had a big pow-wow on the fact that making your ex boyfriend isn’t the be all end all of the no contact rule. Nevertheless, I am sure that a gigantic portion of women are going to have one singular thought,

What if he doesn’t contact me at all?

Let’s take a look at this fear.

The reason you are probably fearing it is due to the fact that you will feel like a complete failure if he doesn’t try to contact you at all.

But I tend to look at this in a different way.

Now, I realize this may be a lot to ask of you but I want you to take about 41 minutes out of your day to watch the most epic interview I have ever done,

You didn’t watch it did you?

Geez… No patience.

Ok, here is the gist of the interview. I interviewed, Jessy, who not only used my advice to get her ex back but now she is married to him.

Rethinking that idea of not watching the interview now, huh?

Basically the part in the interview that I want to call to your attention is where Jessy admits that her ex, was very rigid and stubborn.

Throughout no contact he would not contact her.

AND SHE GOT HIM TO MARRY HER!

Look, this essentially backs up what I have been saying for a long time that him contacting you during the no contact rule isn’t everything it’s made out to be.

What You Need To Understand

Let’s throw out the gender roles here on who is supposed to contact who first.

We live in the 21st century.

No one cares if it’s the guy or the girl who contacts the other person first.

So, if you are a woman who is hung up on this idea that a man should always text you first then I am going to ask you to step off your high horse because IT DOESN’T MATTER!

Besides, I always kind of like it when women can control the narrative by contacting a man first anyways.

I’m a bit of a feminist in that way.

In fact, what is the first thing I recommend that you do after the no contact rule is over?

Yup, I recommend that YOU text him.

Yes, I will level with you that it’s always a great thing when your ex contacts you during the no contact rule but if he doesn’t it doesn’t mean that the no contact rule won’t work.

I just showed you the ultimate example that it will still work.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Thought #4: What If He Gets Angry During The No Contact Rule?

This thought is almost like the exact opposite of what is going on with thought #3. With that one you were worried that he would never contact you at all during no contact. And with this one he does contact you during no contact but not in a very favorable way.

Allow me to explain.

For some men, the no contact rule can be an extreme route to go.

This is especially true if the two of you have established a pattern where you are constantly in contact with each other after a breakup.

So, if we were to visualize this it would look a little something like,

new-pattern

Now, here is the interesting thing about human beings.

We are all very resistant to change.

And now that, that pattern has been interrupted as a result of the no contact rule it is entirely plausible that your ex may get a little angry with you.

It wouldn’t be out of the question that you could receive a few text messages or phone calls from him looking like this,

screen-shot-2016-11-17-at-10-52-39-am

Now, when most women receive angry messages like this they immediately start to panic and think that for some reason they will never have a chance to get their ex boyfriend back.

If you think that then I have a story to tell you.

A Quick Story

Did you know that I have a daughter.

I don’t talk about her a lot on this website for a few reasons.

  1. I want to protect her privacy
  2. I am an expert on exes and often times you don’t need to talk about a baby to get your point across (until now.)

My daughter just turned one and she is starting to learn to communicate.

Right now she has only mastered three words,

  1. Mama…
  2. Dada…
  3. Hi…

Besides those three words she communicates by a combination of screaming, yelling or grunting.

Oh, and then we have the tantrums.

Basically when she doesn’t like something she will scream and cry uncontrollably. She knows if she does this she will eventually get her way. The most recent example I can think of is when our family went out to an arts and crafts fair hosted by the city we live in.

It was amazing.

I have never seen so many people in one place before.

They had arts…

They had crafts…

They had ICE CREAM…

And not the cheap kind. This was homemade ice cream and pretty much upon seeing the booth my wife and I decided that we would give our daughter a taste of some ice cream.

Well, that was it.

Once we did that the entire fortunes of our day changed.

My daughter likes ice cream.

She likes it so much she wanted more and more and more.

Of course, we had to cut her off at a certain point.

So, what did she do?

She threw a tantrum.

She screamed…

Cried…

Whimpered…

Yelled again…

Cried some more…

I think you get the picture.

But why did she throw the tantrum?

Well, ultimately she wanted more ice cream and we wouldn’t give it to her. Now, what do you think would happen if we would have given her more ice cream after throwing this tantrum.

Essentially we would be rewarding her for throwing a tantrum.

Re-enforcing the wrong type of behavior.

Do you see where I am going with this?

When you use the no contact rule and your ex acts angry it’s the grown up version of throwing a tantrum. Now, should you reward him for throwing a tantrum?

Absolutely not.

In fact, that’s what most women end up doing.

They get scared that they are going to lose him forever.

NEWSFLASH!

You already lost him.

It’s time to do something for YOU!

Thought #5: But He Posted This Thing On Facebook… What Does It Mean?

Ahh… Facebook.

Without a doubt Facebook or other similar social media websites play a role in the no contact rule.

Why?

Well, the no contact rule is pretty clear on the fact that you aren’t supposed to contact your ex. However, it doesn’t say anything about looking at him, does it?

That’s where social media websites like Facebook come into play.

Now, I will be the first to admit that Facebook and other sites like it can play an important role during the no contact rule. However, at the same time they can be pretty dangerous.

Allow me to elaborate.

Let’s say that you are staying true to the no contact rule (yay) and you decide to check up on your exes Facebook profile.

While you are spying on him you learn that he has posted this status update,

Feeling kinda down today… Thinking about the past.

Immediately a shiver gets sent down your spine.

“It’s a sign,” you think to yourself.

“He’s thinking about our relationship and is getting sad.”

That’s when the “all knowing” voice in the back of your head pops up and says,

“Text him… You don’t want him to suffer any longer.”

Oh, and in case you didn’t know that “all knowing” voice in the back of your head is the voice of addiction. It’s your enemy and the number one reason for why most women break the no contact rule.

(Watch the Glenn Livingston video above for a way to beat that voice.)

Essentially every time you become obsessive about checking up on your exes profiles you are feeding your addiction, making it stronger and making it more likely that you will break the no contact rule.

So, What Are You Supposed To Do?

Well, I am not going to lie.

This puts you in a really difficult spot because I have stated that social media can be an excellent tool to get an ex back. It’s not like I want you to “unfriend” or block your ex on Facebook.

Instead, there is a nifty little button called “unfollow,”

Unfollow

By doing this you won’t unfriend or block your ex but you will remove some of the temptation to spy on him constantly. However, the number one thing you can do to fully remove the temptation is to use Glenn’s method which I talk about exclusively above.

Speaking of voices in the back of your head.

Let’s move on and talk about the next type of thought you are bound to have.

Thought #6: It Won’t Hurt If I Just Talk To Him Once…

Ahh… rationalizations.

They are dangerous.

I can’t tell you how many times a woman comments on this website saying something like,

Well, I broke the no contact rule. He texted me and I broke down and texted him back. Do I still have a chance?

To which I usually answer this person by telling them,

Yes, you still have a chance but it’s not as good as the first one.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I have never been one of those people that has been good at lying.

It is entirely possible to ruin your chances of getting your ex back but not staying true to the no contact rule. In fact, every single time that you fail at it your chances of success become smaller and smaller.

If that won’t light a fire under your a** to stay disciplined then I don’t know what will.

So, let’s talk about rationalizations for a moment.

You’ve heard me talk about the “voice in the back of your head” quite a bit today.

Why do you think that is?

Well, it’s because that voice in the back of your head is trying to convince you to break the no contact rule in any way that it can.

And it will use any means necessary to accomplish that.

Now, here is perhaps the scariest part. That voice knows you better than anyone. It follows you around day after day. It knows what makes you tick. It knows what you want. Hell, it even knows your weaknesses.

And it is going to try to rationalize you into breaking the no contact rule.

It’s going to tell you things like,

“What’s the harm in talking to him once?”

Or

“This no contact thing isn’t even working. Let’s just ditch it and do what we want.”

Oh, and in case you haven’t figured it out yet this little voice in the back of your head is the voice of addiction.

Beating The Voice Of Addiction

I may sound like a broken record here but please watch my interview with Glenn Livingston,

I keep referring to Glenn Livingston’s interview with me because it literally holds your key to success with staying on track during the no contact rule.

Look, I have already told you that when you go through a breakup you experience similar affects to your body that a drug addict would to theirs when they are going through a period of withdrawal.

Hmm…

Perhaps I need to get a bit more visual to really hammer this point home.

I am usually a very visual person so every time I read someone that makes me thing of drug addicts or drug withdrawal I have this very vivid image that pops into my head.

It’s that scene from “Walk The Line” where Johnny Cash decides to kick his drug habit and has a horrible time doing it.

He essentially looks like this,

withdrwal

For a good chunk of the movie.

Now, when he is going through this withdrawal period he is doing everything he can to find more drugs. His “voice of addiction” is trying to get him to feed the addiction.

And that’s what’s happening to you except on a smaller scale.

You see, your addiction isn’t drugs, it’s your ex.

And right now it’s one that you need to kick.

So again, watch my interview with Glenn and you will know exactly what to do.

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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260 Comments on "The Female Mind During The No Contact Rule"

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Brian Creg
Guest
Hello, my situation is rather complicated so I’ll condense. I’m 36 with two kids. Been in a relationship with 27 year old for two years. We both divorced our exes for each other. I suffered from lots of guilt, shame, remorse for leaving my wife and family unit of 12 years total, kids are 3 and 6. My emotions played a lot into monthly volatile, alcohol driven fights, even threats of self harm in order to get attention. As she is very beautiful and flirty (possibly histrionic personality). She didn’t reassure me in ways I asked her to. Long story… Read more »
Brian Creg
Guest
I hope you are right… she is just so stubborn and often commented that if she were out of the picture, my life would go back to normal. She we would often ask me loaded questions such as if I could picture me getting back with my wife a year from now if she were to be out of the picture. Of course, I was too honest and told her I couldn’t answer her one way or the other. She would tell me that answer told her a lot because she would never get back with her husband. But I… Read more »
Melisa
Guest

I’m doing the no contact period and he’s getting mad.. he’s saying things like “you fr not gonna text me back” and “alright then be like that, I wanted to tell you smr but I guess you don’t want to hear it so I’ll leave you alone” .. am I losing him ?? Or is that just how he’s reacting and should I text him back ?

Jennifer Seiter
Editor

That is totally normal for him to be angry at first. You are not losing him. He’s just saying things to try to get you to react. This is very common during no contact.

jennifer
Guest
will the no contact rule apply if he doesn’t want to marry me because after he cheated on me, i get mad, i become suspicious, i always monitor his whereabouts and we ended up fighting almost daily. i cant forget what he did to me, he lied he blame me and make me believe that its my fault why he fall out of love only to discover that he is just having another girlfriend who is aware of my existence. now, because i confronted the girl, they separated but my boyfriend and i were not able to return back to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jennifer,

The nc rule is not guaranteed to work in any situation.. But shouldn’t you be the one declining marriage and being with him after he did that and is continuing to disrespect you?

jennifer
Guest
will the no contact rule apply if he doesn’t want to marry me because after he cheated on me, i get mad, i become suspicious, i always monitor his whereabouts and we ended up fighting almost daily. i cant forget what he did to me, he lied he blame me and make me believe that its my fault why he fall out of love only to discover that he is just having another girlfriend who is aware of my existence. now, because i confronted the girl, they separated but my boyfriend and i were not able to return back to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jennifer,

The nc rule is not guaranteed to work in any situation.. But shouldn’t you be the one declining marriage and being with him after he did that and is continuing to disrespect you?

Eric
Guest

Not dating sorry. But to keep in touch. We weren’t fighting or in any arguments. It was only to get passed her “wall”.

Anyways, a few days ago I asked her how she was and she still wasn’t sure. Found out she was back on a dating site and already talking to someone new… That hurt.

But your article helped me do much in understanding the no contact rule and hopefully I’ll never get to use it lol, but at least I now know!

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

ah, like staying friends? Well, if you’re doing the nc rule, that means you need to stop initiating, replying or commenting back if she comments on your posts.

Eric
Guest

Not dating sorry. But to keep in touch. We weren’t fighting or in any arguments. It was only to get passed her “wall”.

Anyways, a few days ago I asked her how she was and she still wasn’t sure. Found out she was back on a dating site and already talking to someone new… That hurt.

But your article helped me do much in understanding the no contact rule and hopefully I’ll never get to use it lol, but at least I now know!

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

ah, like staying friends? Well, if you’re doing the nc rule, that means you need to stop initiating, replying or commenting back if she comments on your posts.

Eric
Guest
OK here goes. Started dating this girl. It was an instant connection. But we both had a terrible past. Mine got the best of me and I ended up saying something that hurt her whole in an argument. We tried to move past it, with time and limited contact, but she couldn’t bare not being part of my day. Do she decided to be active into it. ” more social”. Keep in mind, this wasn’t a no contact rule situation. I eventually made her see thst I screwed up and shouldn’t of said anything. But she still felt weird and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eric,

I’m confused too.. You told her you’re going separate ways but you asked her if you could start dating again?

Eric
Guest
OK here goes. Started dating this girl. It was an instant connection. But we both had a terrible past. Mine got the best of me and I ended up saying something that hurt her whole in an argument. We tried to move past it, with time and limited contact, but she couldn’t bare not being part of my day. Do she decided to be active into it. ” more social”. Keep in mind, this wasn’t a no contact rule situation. I eventually made her see thst I screwed up and shouldn’t of said anything. But she still felt weird and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eric,

I’m confused too.. You told her you’re going separate ways but you asked her if you could start dating again?

Sam
Guest
Hello 🙂 I need advice on my situation please. I’ll try to make it short. We were together for 2 years, broke up a few months ago, but she’s with someone new now for 2 months; heres the thing.. they are getting serious very quickly which is weird. We really did have something very very special. I begged so much and was very emotional and I would cry and cry. that was last month. She refused and kept saying “its not fair” “its my time now” etc. This month we ended on bad terms because she came over on my… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam,
unblock her and make your posts public.. That’s good that you didn’t answer her call but she has to know, she has to stop coming over..

Sam
Guest
Hello 🙂 I need advice on my situation please. I’ll try to make it short. We were together for 2 years, broke up a few months ago, but she’s with someone new now for 2 months; heres the thing.. they are getting serious very quickly which is weird. We really did have something very very special. I begged so much and was very emotional and I would cry and cry. that was last month. She refused and kept saying “its not fair” “its my time now” etc. This month we ended on bad terms because she came over on my… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam,
unblock her and make your posts public.. That’s good that you didn’t answer her call but she has to know, she has to stop coming over..

Gabrielle
Guest
Hi, I just broke up with my bf a few days ago. We were on a long distance relationship for more than 2 years. He’s 26 years old and I am 25. One day before he told me that he wanted to break up with me, we were still on a good term. Then suddenly, i saw that he texted this girl on Instagram and deleted the message directly. I know about this message because I had access to his Instagram and I still got the notification about his message. After that, he told me that he promised he won’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Gabrielle
Guest
Hi, I just broke up with my bf a few days ago. We were on a long distance relationship for more than 2 years. He’s 26 years old and I am 25. One day before he told me that he wanted to break up with me, we were still on a good term. Then suddenly, i saw that he texted this girl on Instagram and deleted the message directly. I know about this message because I had access to his Instagram and I still got the notification about his message. After that, he told me that he promised he won’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Tim
Guest
Saturday night had a discussion with my girlfriend we have been dating 7 months. She was wanting me to commit to marriage and I told her I was not ready yet. Then she said she could not be where I was religiously. That night she went to bed and I went to bed a couple hours later ( she had to be at work at 5). I laid next to her prayed and asked God to help her with her decision to stay with me or leave me. 4:30 in the morning she got up and defriended me and all… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Tim
Guest
Saturday night had a discussion with my girlfriend we have been dating 7 months. She was wanting me to commit to marriage and I told her I was not ready yet. Then she said she could not be where I was religiously. That night she went to bed and I went to bed a couple hours later ( she had to be at work at 5). I laid next to her prayed and asked God to help her with her decision to stay with me or leave me. 4:30 in the morning she got up and defriended me and all… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Terry
Guest

Hi
Hope my comment was submitted

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if you dont have proof let it go.. you’re just wasting energy and time about it..

Terry
Guest
Hi? I keep on having this feeling that my ex used to have other girls in his life(cheating on me).I am worried that what i am feeling might be true but so far i don’t have any prove. I feel he is kinda secretive and wouldn’t talk about it even if I asked. All he will say is he is not cheating and I should trust him. I have had the feeling that he is cheating for a long time even while we were dating. We broke up because we fight a lot and he said he had no intention… Read more »
Terry
Guest

Hi
Hope my comment was submitted

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if you dont have proof let it go.. you’re just wasting energy and time about it..

Terry
Guest
Hi? I keep on having this feeling that my ex used to have other girls in his life(cheating on me).I am worried that what i am feeling might be true but so far i don’t have any prove. I feel he is kinda secretive and wouldn’t talk about it even if I asked. All he will say is he is not cheating and I should trust him. I have had the feeling that he is cheating for a long time even while we were dating. We broke up because we fight a lot and he said he had no intention… Read more »
HP
Guest
Hi Amor , I’m HP the girl that said I’ll move on. I hope you remember me. Today is the 10th day of no contact period. I changed alot. I got new hair . I didn’t call my ex. And I’m Super Active on Facebook. Now I’m seeing another guy hee hee. You know ? I don’t want my ex back anymore. Coz I found someone who is much better than him. Let’s call him M. We’ve been texting for a week. We met once. M likes me and yep I like him hee hee. But I don’t want him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s good! don’t stop improving yourself and having your own life.. have fun talks, have fun when you see each other but always leave at high point

HP
Guest
Hi Amor , I’m HP the girl that said I’ll move on. I hope you remember me. Today is the 10th day of no contact period. I changed alot. I got new hair . I didn’t call my ex. And I’m Super Active on Facebook. Now I’m seeing another guy hee hee. You know ? I don’t want my ex back anymore. Coz I found someone who is much better than him. Let’s call him M. We’ve been texting for a week. We met once. M likes me and yep I like him hee hee. But I don’t want him… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s good! don’t stop improving yourself and having your own life.. have fun talks, have fun when you see each other but always leave at high point

Minmoo
Guest
It has been a week since my ‘ex’ went NC on me. We argued over him flirting with women. I went mad. I sent a few texts asking him why are you doing this to me then ended up calling him a good 20 times, which he ignored. I sent a email asking him to stay away if he’s going to pursue other women-after the 20 phone calls. To which he did 🙁 So who is implementing the NC and do I stay silent? I have done for a week. It’s very unusual for him as he usualy texts/emails after… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You should start your own count and do at least 30 days.. That means being focused in healing and improving yourself for that month.

Minmoo
Guest
Update …so he messaged 8 days later. First he asked how’s me. Then a ‘Oi’. Then asked if I’d had my results (a test I was having done) then he called me ignorant. Later on he started being explicit asking me to come over… I didn’t respond. He has the nerve to ask me that. I am no booty call. He is blocked on social media though I talk a bit to his mum who has no idea of what’s going on. So it’s been 2 weeks and I’m hanging on in there. I doubt I would contact him at… Read more »
Minmoo
Guest

Hi Amor,
It will be 40 days NC tomorrow. I have no idea what to say/do to the subject involved. He has been in contact via text and email. Slight jibes and tactics. He even asked if we weren’t friends anymore last week.. Really not sure what to do. Any ideas, thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

did you reply? if you did, you broke nc.. if you didn’t check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Minmoo
Guest

Update***
It’s nearly 80 days n/c. Made it and some! Ex texts every few weeks. His latest was in 6th June saying: hey worm, hope your ok lass even if you hateee me nowww xxx :}
I hate the way he sounds so ‘happy and casual’ . I find it patronising. Is that what he’s doing or is he just saying ‘hey’ so to get a Holla back.
Thank you…

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It’s more of the later

Minmoo
Guest
It has been a week since my ‘ex’ went NC on me. We argued over him flirting with women. I went mad. I sent a few texts asking him why are you doing this to me then ended up calling him a good 20 times, which he ignored. I sent a email asking him to stay away if he’s going to pursue other women-after the 20 phone calls. To which he did 🙁 So who is implementing the NC and do I stay silent? I have done for a week. It’s very unusual for him as he usualy texts/emails after… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

You should start your own count and do at least 30 days.. That means being focused in healing and improving yourself for that month.

Minmoo
Guest
Update …so he messaged 8 days later. First he asked how’s me. Then a ‘Oi’. Then asked if I’d had my results (a test I was having done) then he called me ignorant. Later on he started being explicit asking me to come over… I didn’t respond. He has the nerve to ask me that. I am no booty call. He is blocked on social media though I talk a bit to his mum who has no idea of what’s going on. So it’s been 2 weeks and I’m hanging on in there. I doubt I would contact him at… Read more »
Minmoo
Guest

Hi Amor,
It will be 40 days NC tomorrow. I have no idea what to say/do to the subject involved. He has been in contact via text and email. Slight jibes and tactics. He even asked if we weren’t friends anymore last week.. Really not sure what to do. Any ideas, thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

did you reply? if you did, you broke nc.. if you didn’t check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Minmoo
Guest

Update***
It’s nearly 80 days n/c. Made it and some! Ex texts every few weeks. His latest was in 6th June saying: hey worm, hope your ok lass even if you hateee me nowww xxx :}
I hate the way he sounds so ‘happy and casual’ . I find it patronising. Is that what he’s doing or is he just saying ‘hey’ so to get a Holla back.
Thank you…

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

It’s more of the later

Sarah
Guest
Hey, thank you for all the great advice! I broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago, we were happy for 8 years then started having a few arguments a few months ago and things got worse. After I calmed down I wanted to make up but my ex said; he thought it was for the best, he loves me but doesn’t want to hurt me any more and that we want different things. I think he’s in a rebound relationship which he wont admit to and I have turned into the crazy ex, very emotional, needy and been a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yup, unblock him

Sarah
Guest
Hey, thank you for all the great advice! I broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago, we were happy for 8 years then started having a few arguments a few months ago and things got worse. After I calmed down I wanted to make up but my ex said; he thought it was for the best, he loves me but doesn’t want to hurt me any more and that we want different things. I think he’s in a rebound relationship which he wont admit to and I have turned into the crazy ex, very emotional, needy and been a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yup, unblock him

Suzanne
Guest

I’m on day 22 of the 30-day NC and having a really hard time heading into this last week. My ex has texted me four times during NC– a text about a sports team we like, a “hey,” a “miss you,” and “i’m sorry. goodbye.” The last one came a week ago, and I haven’t heard from him since. What are my chances of getting a response when NC ends if he said “goodbye” because I didn’t respond?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Suzanne,

he’s just respecting your space.. But the fact that he is curious about you during nc, gives a good chance that he will respond.

Suzanne
Guest

I’m on day 22 of the 30-day NC and having a really hard time heading into this last week. My ex has texted me four times during NC– a text about a sports team we like, a “hey,” a “miss you,” and “i’m sorry. goodbye.” The last one came a week ago, and I haven’t heard from him since. What are my chances of getting a response when NC ends if he said “goodbye” because I didn’t respond?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Suzanne,

he’s just respecting your space.. But the fact that he is curious about you during nc, gives a good chance that he will respond.

Hopeless
Guest
Hello, I’ve been doing the NC for 33 days out of 45, and it’s been a big challenge, especially after the 30th day. Because he hasn’t contacted me at all, he is very stubborn, I am feeling a bit hopeless yet with hope, if that makes sense, and that hope is giving me more pain, you can say that I’m in limbo, which is where I was with him before we ended our friendship/relationship. Obviously, I want to be together again with him, but it has been very difficult to move on without moving on. Perhaps because I had to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hopeless,

try to rebuild rapport first.. if it doesn’t work out then continue moving on.. I think you need to go to counseling too.. Pain is ok, just dont get drowned in it..acknowledge the feeling then go back to your activity

Hopeless
Guest
Hello, I’ve been doing the NC for 33 days out of 45, and it’s been a big challenge, especially after the 30th day. Because he hasn’t contacted me at all, he is very stubborn, I am feeling a bit hopeless yet with hope, if that makes sense, and that hope is giving me more pain, you can say that I’m in limbo, which is where I was with him before we ended our friendship/relationship. Obviously, I want to be together again with him, but it has been very difficult to move on without moving on. Perhaps because I had to… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hopeless,

try to rebuild rapport first.. if it doesn’t work out then continue moving on.. I think you need to go to counseling too.. Pain is ok, just dont get drowned in it..acknowledge the feeling then go back to your activity

sunny
Guest
hi, i been reading about nc rule and i really want to try it but do not know if it would work for me , here is what happened , its been less than a week since he broke up with me , we were ld during all the relationship , when i met him he was divorced for a year , was married for ten years and has a child , at first we used to see each other a lot , we would laugh and have fun together , he introduced me to his family and my family… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sunny,

he wants you to wait? did he say for what and until when you should wait?

sunny
Guest
hi, i been reading about nc rule and i really want to try it but do not know if it would work for me , here is what happened , its been less than a week since he broke up with me , we were ld during all the relationship , when i met him he was divorced for a year , was married for ten years and has a child , at first we used to see each other a lot , we would laugh and have fun together , he introduced me to his family and my family… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sunny,

he wants you to wait? did he say for what and until when you should wait?

Marion
Guest
I commented previously on the “how not to spiral” article, which was very helpful. I’d like some guidance on the length of no contact, and how to break it considering we’ve had contact over logistical things and he knew I was going into no-contact (except for his family). Dated for ~5 years, been friends for 10, lived together for 2+ years, currently long-distance for the past year. Started the relationship with a whirlwind long-distance romance where we saw each other at least once a month before I moved back to the same state. I apologize for how long this is.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marion,
the basic is 30, if you need or want to extend to 45 days, that’s ok.. Just don’t stop improving yourself even while building rapport.. check this for your first contact text:
Handling The First Time You Talk To Your Ex After The No Contact Rule (Live Coaching Session)

Marion
Guest
Hi Amor, thanks for the link, it was helpful. Their situation seems a lot less complicated than mine though. Can I e-mail you guys about dealing with the mental illness complication, and how to navigate the fact that he has a negative, loooong PDF from me that he can look at whenever he wants to steel his “moving on” resolve? Also, it’s like he has this warped view that he’s protecting ME by breaking up, but maybe I’m misunderstanding him. Essentially, what’s the benefit of “building rapport” if my ex wanted to stay friends (I’m his best friend) but didn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

right now, you can try sending a voice mail in the contact section. It’s very important that you really change to the point that he would think you’re not the girl that wrote that pdf anymore.. that way, if you’re so different, far improved, he would want to get to know you, thus rebuilding rapport

Marion
Guest
I commented previously on the “how not to spiral” article, which was very helpful. I’d like some guidance on the length of no contact, and how to break it considering we’ve had contact over logistical things and he knew I was going into no-contact (except for his family). Dated for ~5 years, been friends for 10, lived together for 2+ years, currently long-distance for the past year. Started the relationship with a whirlwind long-distance romance where we saw each other at least once a month before I moved back to the same state. I apologize for how long this is.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marion,
the basic is 30, if you need or want to extend to 45 days, that’s ok.. Just don’t stop improving yourself even while building rapport.. check this for your first contact text:
Handling The First Time You Talk To Your Ex After The No Contact Rule (Live Coaching Session)

Marion
Guest
Hi Amor, thanks for the link, it was helpful. Their situation seems a lot less complicated than mine though. Can I e-mail you guys about dealing with the mental illness complication, and how to navigate the fact that he has a negative, loooong PDF from me that he can look at whenever he wants to steel his “moving on” resolve? Also, it’s like he has this warped view that he’s protecting ME by breaking up, but maybe I’m misunderstanding him. Essentially, what’s the benefit of “building rapport” if my ex wanted to stay friends (I’m his best friend) but didn’t… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

right now, you can try sending a voice mail in the contact section. It’s very important that you really change to the point that he would think you’re not the girl that wrote that pdf anymore.. that way, if you’re so different, far improved, he would want to get to know you, thus rebuilding rapport

Diane
Guest
Dated exclusively for 7 months. Messy breakup. First I broke up but realized less than 12 hours later that I had made a mistake. I tried to reach out and he blew me off. I did a little begging. A month later, he agreed to meet me. Told me that he never had feelings for me and thought we were just hanging out. Said at some point he realized I had feelings and he knew he was going to hurt me but he kept seeing me because he enjoyed being with me. That blew me away because he always told… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Diane,

I think his weirdness is a good sign because it shows he misses you.. So, try to finish no contact, don’t give in easily when he acts like that..

Diane
Guest
Dated exclusively for 7 months. Messy breakup. First I broke up but realized less than 12 hours later that I had made a mistake. I tried to reach out and he blew me off. I did a little begging. A month later, he agreed to meet me. Told me that he never had feelings for me and thought we were just hanging out. Said at some point he realized I had feelings and he knew he was going to hurt me but he kept seeing me because he enjoyed being with me. That blew me away because he always told… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Diane,

I think his weirdness is a good sign because it shows he misses you.. So, try to finish no contact, don’t give in easily when he acts like that..

Jasmin
Guest
Hi, my name is Jasmin and I am 25 years old. I am writing this email to you, because in one of your videos you said that people subscribed to your youtube channel could ask you for advice (my name is: persianbeau). My boyfriend (25) broke up with me yesterday and everything went horribly wrong. We were both unexperienced, and it was our first relationship. We used to know each other from uni and there was always a great connection between us. We came together the 5th of January 2016, so basically one year ago, but he was in the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jasmin,

Give him a few days to cool down first and then talk..if it doesn’t work out after that, try the no contact period

Jasmin
Guest
Hi, my name is Jasmin and I am 25 years old. I am writing this email to you, because in one of your videos you said that people subscribed to your youtube channel could ask you for advice (my name is: persianbeau). My boyfriend (25) broke up with me yesterday and everything went horribly wrong. We were both unexperienced, and it was our first relationship. We used to know each other from uni and there was always a great connection between us. We came together the 5th of January 2016, so basically one year ago, but he was in the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jasmin,

Give him a few days to cool down first and then talk..if it doesn’t work out after that, try the no contact period

Olivia
Guest
Its been a week since I started the no contact. It’s tough during the process but somehow i feel better than before. when i initiated to my ex that i wanna back off (no contact) for a while, he thought i am very childish (coz he thinks it’s a way for me to cut off things if it doesnt turn out sth i like). we broke up around a month ago, we still contacted each other daily, even i didnt find him, he would find excuse to talk to me too. we would meet up sometimes as well. i really… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Olivia,

try doing a 30 day nc since you kept talking to him after the break up..

Olivia
Guest
i finally finished the NC and started texting him. my first message was about myself got a new job offer and he was very happy for me. he replied within seconds! before i was kind of worried that he got some negative feeling about NC. when i was texting him, he was on business trip, and he kept the conversations going on and replied sooo quickly, which he never did. (he’s a workaholic, when he’s working abroad, he usually just ignores me). i was very surprised. maybe NC really makes him miss me a bit. haha it’s been around a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what’s more important is that you’re the one ending the conversations at high point.. if you’ve been texting fir two weeks, try to transition a text to calls

Olivia
Guest
After the NC, he suggested to meet up, I was thinking to just grab a drink, instead he planned a pretty romantic dinner. It was a good night. After that, we keep the conversations like everyday. After that dinner, We haven’t met for almost 3 weeks, until Monday. Before Valentine’s Day, we had dinner again, I gave him the Valentine’s gift and he seems like it. Although we do sweet stuffs sometimes, I know we are not back as couple yet. I just have 3 questions, the time frame btw meet up should be shorten? Coz I think now we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

don’t stop doing your activities.. have good talks first before asking so, that when you ask, it’s not awkward. You have to guage it by feel if it’s the right time to ask, but yes, you can meet sooner than 3 weeks again..

Olivia
Guest
Its been a week since I started the no contact. It’s tough during the process but somehow i feel better than before. when i initiated to my ex that i wanna back off (no contact) for a while, he thought i am very childish (coz he thinks it’s a way for me to cut off things if it doesnt turn out sth i like). we broke up around a month ago, we still contacted each other daily, even i didnt find him, he would find excuse to talk to me too. we would meet up sometimes as well. i really… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Olivia,

try doing a 30 day nc since you kept talking to him after the break up..

Olivia
Guest
i finally finished the NC and started texting him. my first message was about myself got a new job offer and he was very happy for me. he replied within seconds! before i was kind of worried that he got some negative feeling about NC. when i was texting him, he was on business trip, and he kept the conversations going on and replied sooo quickly, which he never did. (he’s a workaholic, when he’s working abroad, he usually just ignores me). i was very surprised. maybe NC really makes him miss me a bit. haha it’s been around a… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

what’s more important is that you’re the one ending the conversations at high point.. if you’ve been texting fir two weeks, try to transition a text to calls

Olivia
Guest
After the NC, he suggested to meet up, I was thinking to just grab a drink, instead he planned a pretty romantic dinner. It was a good night. After that, we keep the conversations like everyday. After that dinner, We haven’t met for almost 3 weeks, until Monday. Before Valentine’s Day, we had dinner again, I gave him the Valentine’s gift and he seems like it. Although we do sweet stuffs sometimes, I know we are not back as couple yet. I just have 3 questions, the time frame btw meet up should be shorten? Coz I think now we… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

don’t stop doing your activities.. have good talks first before asking so, that when you ask, it’s not awkward. You have to guage it by feel if it’s the right time to ask, but yes, you can meet sooner than 3 weeks again..

Katie
Guest
Hi I would like to share my experience and what went through my mind while implementing no contact. Once I realized, this is a man I would do anything just to have a second try. I started to prepare myself and do my best to think logically. I thought, what I tried didn’t work, clearly i needed a different approach. This convinced me that stopping all contact would be the best chance I got. I understand that I needed time and space to heal, and I should give him time and space to think too. So that in case if… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Katie,

That’s good that you improved yourself..did you text him again?

Katie
Guest
Hi Amor, Yes I did text him with a thought-out text, and he responded very positively. In fact, he asked me out just 4 days after, and we had a great time together 🙂 I think there are few things that worked for me: 1. Stick to the no contact (unless the ex contact you. In my case, he didn’t, so I reached out first.) 2. Spend the no contact time to prepare yourself and plan every step out. 3. Use your knowledge of your ex and the relationship: Don’t blindly use every strategy in a book. I didn’t stop… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Most of the time it’s when they see you in a new light.. when they cant see the old you and becomes interested and attracted to the new you.. but I’ll suggest that to Chris. Thank you! You might want to check this one too:
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule

Katie
Guest
Hi I would like to share my experience and what went through my mind while implementing no contact. Once I realized, this is a man I would do anything just to have a second try. I started to prepare myself and do my best to think logically. I thought, what I tried didn’t work, clearly i needed a different approach. This convinced me that stopping all contact would be the best chance I got. I understand that I needed time and space to heal, and I should give him time and space to think too. So that in case if… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Katie,

That’s good that you improved yourself..did you text him again?

Katie
Guest
Hi Amor, Yes I did text him with a thought-out text, and he responded very positively. In fact, he asked me out just 4 days after, and we had a great time together 🙂 I think there are few things that worked for me: 1. Stick to the no contact (unless the ex contact you. In my case, he didn’t, so I reached out first.) 2. Spend the no contact time to prepare yourself and plan every step out. 3. Use your knowledge of your ex and the relationship: Don’t blindly use every strategy in a book. I didn’t stop… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Most of the time it’s when they see you in a new light.. when they cant see the old you and becomes interested and attracted to the new you.. but I’ll suggest that to Chris. Thank you! You might want to check this one too:
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule

Pari
Guest
Hi, My ex and I dated for a couple months after being friends for a few months. We became friends a few months after he and his girlfriend of a year and a half broke up. It was long distance. We drove 3 hours to see each other, I met his best friends, and we talked about vacations and so forth. Three weeks ago, we got into a little fight because I was questioning his interest in me. He sent me flowers to apologize. A couple weeks ago, he decided he wanted to focus on getting into grad school and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Pari,

if he’s set in making his studies a priority, then use no contact to get used to not talking to him.. it will take time.. that’s just really how it is.. if you want, you can stay friends with him instead.

Pari
Guest
Hi, My ex and I dated for a couple months after being friends for a few months. We became friends a few months after he and his girlfriend of a year and a half broke up. It was long distance. We drove 3 hours to see each other, I met his best friends, and we talked about vacations and so forth. Three weeks ago, we got into a little fight because I was questioning his interest in me. He sent me flowers to apologize. A couple weeks ago, he decided he wanted to focus on getting into grad school and… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Pari,

if he’s set in making his studies a priority, then use no contact to get used to not talking to him.. it will take time.. that’s just really how it is.. if you want, you can stay friends with him instead.

Leanna
Guest

Hi, i added a comment yesterday but i dont see it?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leanna,

it went through but I’ll just copy my answer there here..

It can be a good sign.. He maybe thought you would have initiated by now, so he reacted that way and thought it can get a reaction from you..

Leanna
Guest

Hi, i added a comment yesterday but i dont see it?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leanna,

it went through but I’ll just copy my answer there here..

It can be a good sign.. He maybe thought you would have initiated by now, so he reacted that way and thought it can get a reaction from you..

Leanna
Guest
Hi there. I am currently on day 37 of No contact with my ex. He broke up with me 38 days ago on the phone. we had a few arguements prior to the break up but nothing that couldnt be fixed. He is the type of person however that does not like any uncertainty. 5 days after the break up he deleted me off facebook and put up that he was single. He has since then posted up many pics of him out socializing and writing up things that i no are a direct dig at me. I sense there… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leanna,

It can be a good sign.. He maybe thought you would have initiated by now, so he reacted that way and thought it can get a reaction from you..

Leanna
Guest
Why do you think he might still be angry for? My friends have said that they have seen him writing about his social events, like boasting that he is out. Is this attention seeking? Its nearly 6 weeks since we spoke. what are the chances of him contacting me at this stage when he is still angry? Ive already read the post about the angry ex. Infact, id say ive read this whole website trying to get an insight into his behaviour. I dont understand how a man can tell you one day that he wants to get married then… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it can be ego.. he’s expecting you to reach out first, he’s pride might be preventing him from reaching out, and he knows you’re subdominant to him, so getting angry might get a reaction from you. It’s unlikely that he will contact you if he’s being like that, just let him cool down.. let him realize you’re not going to reach to his immature moves.. because it’s like rewarding that behavior.

Leanna
Guest

even at 39 days he still hasnt cooled down. Is it usual for a man to stay angry? Do they calm down? Yes i dont think i should contact him first especially after all his immature behaviour.

Leanna
Guest

Update. Now his mother has deleted me off social media. His anger is clearly projecting onto other people. I havent done a thing but no contact to entice this.

Leanna
Guest

hi have u received my reply?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Yes, sorry for the reply. I haven’t reached yours yet. If he’s really stubborn he’s anger can really last, especially if he really wanted you to initiate and if he’s pissed because you don’t seem to be affected. You said he’s been posting a lot since nc, so, it’s like a competition of who among the two of you will give in first. I’m not saying you should compete with him. I think 45 days is long enough.. Actually that’s usually the longest we recommend. If you want, you can initiate after 45 days, to cut this cycle. If he… Read more »
JS
Guest
Hi, you’re website is so helpful. Thank you for all your work! I need major advice how to move forward! Be warned, my situation is a bit long…. My bf has low self-esteem from his past which gave him major jealousy and insecurity issues. He also can get very depressed and beat himself down. We dated for about 6 months and it was very passionate and intense, there was much love and a deep connection on all levels… sexually, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. I inadvertently added fuel to his insecurity and pain, because I once said something positive about my… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Js,

your comments have been going to spam.. Dont worry, I haven’t replied because I haven’t reached yours yet.

Stay active in posting on social media, make it public. So, that even if he used any account he will see it. After this, if you get back together erase your messages before. Dont reply right ahead if he texts..unless he says he wants you back..if you didn’t respond, you dont have to restart the count.. Do 30 days..

gerala
Guest

ok so if i’m dfeeling

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gerala,

what are you feeling?

Leanna
Guest
Hi there. I am currently on day 37 of No contact with my ex. He broke up with me 38 days ago on the phone. we had a few arguements prior to the break up but nothing that couldnt be fixed. He is the type of person however that does not like any uncertainty. 5 days after the break up he deleted me off facebook and put up that he was single. He has since then posted up many pics of him out socializing and writing up things that i no are a direct dig at me. I sense there… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leanna,

It can be a good sign.. He maybe thought you would have initiated by now, so he reacted that way and thought it can get a reaction from you..

Leanna
Guest
Why do you think he might still be angry for? My friends have said that they have seen him writing about his social events, like boasting that he is out. Is this attention seeking? Its nearly 6 weeks since we spoke. what are the chances of him contacting me at this stage when he is still angry? Ive already read the post about the angry ex. Infact, id say ive read this whole website trying to get an insight into his behaviour. I dont understand how a man can tell you one day that he wants to get married then… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it can be ego.. he’s expecting you to reach out first, he’s pride might be preventing him from reaching out, and he knows you’re subdominant to him, so getting angry might get a reaction from you. It’s unlikely that he will contact you if he’s being like that, just let him cool down.. let him realize you’re not going to reach to his immature moves.. because it’s like rewarding that behavior.

Leanna
Guest

even at 39 days he still hasnt cooled down. Is it usual for a man to stay angry? Do they calm down? Yes i dont think i should contact him first especially after all his immature behaviour.

Leanna
Guest

Update. Now his mother has deleted me off social media. His anger is clearly projecting onto other people. I havent done a thing but no contact to entice this.

Leanna
Guest

hi have u received my reply?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Yes, sorry for the reply. I haven’t reached yours yet. If he’s really stubborn he’s anger can really last, especially if he really wanted you to initiate and if he’s pissed because you don’t seem to be affected. You said he’s been posting a lot since nc, so, it’s like a competition of who among the two of you will give in first. I’m not saying you should compete with him. I think 45 days is long enough.. Actually that’s usually the longest we recommend. If you want, you can initiate after 45 days, to cut this cycle. If he… Read more »
JS
Guest
Hi, you’re website is so helpful. Thank you for all your work! I need major advice how to move forward! Be warned, my situation is a bit long…. My bf has low self-esteem from his past which gave him major jealousy and insecurity issues. He also can get very depressed and beat himself down. We dated for about 6 months and it was very passionate and intense, there was much love and a deep connection on all levels… sexually, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. I inadvertently added fuel to his insecurity and pain, because I once said something positive about my… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Js,

your comments have been going to spam.. Dont worry, I haven’t replied because I haven’t reached yours yet.

Stay active in posting on social media, make it public. So, that even if he used any account he will see it. After this, if you get back together erase your messages before. Dont reply right ahead if he texts..unless he says he wants you back..if you didn’t respond, you dont have to restart the count.. Do 30 days..

gerala
Guest

ok so if i’m dfeeling

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gerala,

what are you feeling?