By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 8th, 2021

It’s not often that I say this but this may actually be one of my favorite episodes that I have ever done.

And no, it’s not because I am talking about the no contact rule, AGAIN!

Let me give you some background so what I say will make sense.

Dr. Glenn Livingston is a superstar in the “Binge Eating” world.

(I promise this will make sense in a moment.)

In fact, this guy is so credentialed I was a little in awe while I was interviewing him,

  • He is a veteran psychologist
  • Long time CEO of a multi-million dollar consulting firm
  • Has been featured in Chicago Sun Times, CBS Radio, New York Times
  • And is the author of Never Binge Again

Now, originally I had planned to make this interview all about the poor eating habits that I have seen women adopt after a breakup.

However, after Glenn and I got to talking something interesting began to happen. Instead of only focusing on binge eating we turned our attention to the no contact rule.

Specifically the issues that people have when it comes to NOT contacting their exes.

As it turns out, the technique that Glenn created to prevent people from binge eating is a perfect fit to stop people from breaking the no contact rule.

Now, I have written a massive book on this topic, “The No Contact Rule Book”, so feel free to check it out!

Now, bear in mind that this is a book for binge eating. However, almost everything in it can be in some way, shape or form be applied to the no contact rule.

Oh, and if you think this isn’t something that is worth your time to read you might want to rethink that because I was so impressed with Glenn’s technique that I am going to modify it and add it to my overall core strategy when it comes to the no contact rule.

Check out our interview below,

Watch Glenn Teach His Technique To Me

What We Talk About In This Episode

  • Glenn’s Personal Struggles With Binge Eating
  • How He Kicked “The Binge Habit”
  • How His Technique For Binge Eating Can Be Applied To The No Contact Rule
  • Fighting Your Inner Pig
  • And Much More
Are You Wasting Your Time With Your Ex?
Take The Quiz

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Interview Transcript

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46 thoughts on “How To NOT Break The No Contact Rule With Glenn Livingston”

  1. susan mcdonald

    January 5, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    you suggested in my case, 30 days is not enough, because all im trying to do is get him back, so you suggested 3 months minimum but 6 months the most, from what I’ve told you, do you think at the point he will forget about me, and do you think he cares at this point from the info I told you. is it wise to have him still help me move on sat? him not blocking me all the way do you think he still cares and wants me back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 7, 2017 at 5:05 am

      It would be better to think of it that he has moved on. Because you won’t have a restart if you keep thinking he still wants you and he’s just not doing it. You will not get out of the chaser position in that way.

  2. susan mcdonald

    January 2, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    hi, my name is Susan, i have written you before regarding my dilemma, and you gave good advice, back in Oct/Nov-id mentioned i was with my ex from 2012 until July of this year, we had lived together briefly after that, he was not financially stable as i was(we are ten years apart, i’m 10 years older then him), so my ex name is Mel. when i last wrote you it was him saying after the break up in July of 2016 to give him time to get himself together financially and then we can try the relationship again, since after the break up in July, he hadn’t been communicating much with me, texting, calling seeing me as much as i wanted, i would be the one to do that, so the holidays roll around, thanksgiving, Xmas, new years eve, he goes out of town because he has family six hours away from where he lives, he hadn’t invited me to come along, unlike last year i spent all three holidays with him and got to meet his mom that lives out of town and his grandparents, so i said to him can we at least spend one holiday together, he says we will, that would’ve been new years, new years he says we can, he texts me back after i asked where and what time did he want to meet he says i am just going to spend time with my family, so i was very upset and sent him a text like lets throw in the towel on this i’m done, ton top of that i am moving sat Jan 7th and i gave him $60 to help me move and i said in fact don’t bother helping me f**** move, give me back my money and go f*** yourself, he calls and says i said for months give me time to get myself together for financial reasons and you have been pressuring me all this time, you are extremely needy and clingy and immature and need to grow up, your a kid that if they do not get there way they last out, he said i needed you when i was at a down point in my life, all you did was emasculate me because i wasn’t as financial stable as you and kick me out of the house and now you expect me to just forget. i didn’t reply after that so at this point i read your read up on being clingy and how to overcome that, and looking back after the break up he was being pressured by me, because i text him every other day to give me a chance and that he never sees me and doesn’t give me, love, affection and attention and we have no sex life, I’ve made it very clear to him that i have not been dating since the break up in July and he said i just need to relax. my goal this time around is to not call, text and after the move not give him keys, invite him over, ask to hang out which i would do all the time after break p, to mirror his image, so he doesn’t see me as clingy anymore, he even blurted out that is why he became so distant because after break up i was calling and texting and he felt smothered and that i was too old to be acting like that. there would be times he would block me because i would just get so upset with not seeing him and hearing from him i would create a burner number and call him from that and he said that is immature. so since that argument this past weekend, i haven’t called or text and my plan is not until sat for the move, because he is helping me and after that wait 30 days this time and let him see i’m not needy and clingy and immature like he thinks. i just really love him and miss him, he is not dating anyone and he after the break up and having kicked him out he end up staying with a couple that has two kids, i offered that if comes back to live with me, i wont let him feel less then a man, and smother him, he said he would think about it., but that was Thur and the fight was this weekend. at this point what would i do, I’ve realized I’ve been going overboard, what suggestions do you have for me and do you think i can get him back at this point with all the clingy and smothering I’ve been doing.

    do you think him still even talking to me is a good thing or he is just doing it out of pity? he has been the only guy I’ve been with since moving from Mass to Florida in 2012. PLEASE I NEED HELP. starting the 30 day no contact rule today Jan 2, but it will be interrupted do to him helping me move on Sat and resume after Jan 8th to Feb 8th, do you think that would even matter after all that’s been going on with us?

    1. Lisa

      March 14, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      Hi amor ,
      I’m confused . Isn’t the longest nc you should do be 45 days? Why are u recommended 3 months to a year?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      the common longest one is 45 days but on some cases it needs to be longer for a restart

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2017 at 12:53 pm

      Hi Susan,
      actually 30 days is not enough if he sees you that way.. It’s just too predictable that everything you’re doing is trying to get him back. Frankly, for someone to believe you have moved on or starting to move on that is in the same case as you, it has to be long time of no contact… maybe 3 months is the least, but realistically it would be 6 months to a year.

  3. Sandy

    December 18, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    I am currently in NC period. We broke up a couple of weeks ago. During this period, he contacted me once to talk about money matter. We talked about it twice. It was brief and I kept it professional.
    We dated for over five years (3 yrs long distance, different contenients) and his family members like me. His grandma is asking about me and wants to see me. No one knows about the breakup yet. His mom knows and she wants to see me when I’m in town. It’s been so long that I have seen them and I feel I need to see them. I want to see them also. I don’t know if NC applies to his family members too. Can I meet with his family members? Thank you for you time.


    1. Sandy

      December 28, 2016 at 3:45 pm

      One more question. We have nicknames for each other and he still calls me that. We called each other by nick names, never use our real names. Should I call him by his nickname or by his real name? Thank you again!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 30, 2016 at 6:57 am

      it would be better to call him by his name at first stages of building rapport

    3. Sandy

      December 22, 2016 at 7:26 pm

      Hi Amor,
      Thanks for the reply. One of the reasons we broke up was that he thinks I dont treat his mom well. I treated her with respect but not friendly. I didn’t know what to talk about with her.
      During NC period, we are supposed to build ourselves, right? Having better relationship with his mom is something I should do. Do I do in during or after the NC period? Thank you again.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2016 at 2:28 pm

      yep you need to improve yourself during and after nv period while building rapport with his mom, yes, build rapport with him and his mom after nc

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 7:49 am

      Hi Sandy,

      if you can postpone seeing his family for now.. it can seem like you’re trying to build a bridge to him through them

  4. Suhani

    December 18, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    I met this guy 6yrs ago, we have been good friends and I started developing feelings for him, but he always friend zoned me out and after some months, we both started being in friends with benefits relation.. he never committed to me but we kept on continuing our so called benefits relation from past 5yrs, he left me twice and after his relation didn’t work he came back to me. Recently 3months ago, he ended everything and reason was he met someone new in his life. I was very much in depression, I came to this site and I read about no contact rule. Yes, I didn’t wish him Birthday nor contacted him by any means.. Day 26 of NC he texted me and he said he missed me and I didn’t wished him birthday hurted him most. And he confessed me that he misses me and wants me in his life but he likes someone too. This irked me, because from past 6yrs I have been waiting for this guy and he just used me. I was in depression, I used to stay home, cried for hours.. it took me a lot of courage to block him everywhere, I focused on moving on and I changed myself into a better person.. I coloured my hair, got new look..and he tried contacting me through our mutual friends, he stalked me through fake profiles and texted me I look hot, and for moment I only told him I hate him and I wouldn’t talk to him ever, he said he missed me, he wants me back as friends with benefits only.. he can’t promise me to commit and all I m doing right now is No contact rule from week, I don’t know what should I do? I really love him still.. how should I make him commit to me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2016 at 11:10 am

      Hi Suhani,

      you cant force him. The only approach is to refuse being friends with benefits. We train others on how they treat us. What you keep allowing is the reflection of your standards.

  5. Natacha

    November 17, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    So I will try and keep this short. My fiance and I have known eachother since we were like 13. We reconnected and had dated for 1 year and 7 months. He also lived with me. He proposed about a year into the relationship. He says that there was no one else and that he needs to work in himself yet he is already dating someone else. I broke up with him for a few days and then we got back together only for him to break up with me a week later. During this breakup this girl suddenly appearred. Anyways I did what I shouldn’t do I begged for once and then got nasty because I was hurt. After the first week of no contact he texted me to take care of his little boy( his pet turtle) and he messaged my brother the same and then a few hours later told him he had some work done on his arm and hes about to be tatted. My brother ignored him. I am on my second week of no contact. I think they saw me last saturday because I thought i saw the girl and then I got a text from him saying “Why do i still dream about you natacha”. Anyways yesterday he texts my brother from his new number telling him to watch some show and then again today he texted him “yo” . My brother wants to respond but I told him no contact means no contact. Should he respond? What does all this mean? I keep going from being sad to angry. I dont understand how someone can talk about wanting to spend the rest of his life with you to literally breaking up with you the next day.

    *update he called me from a different number and said he missed and he needed to hear my voice..also said he would text me from his new number . So he texts me from the new number I take awhile to respond and then he calls me saying hes been having a tough time… I’m thinking yeah right because I know hes with this new i say I dont really understand how you can be having a hard time and he goes well maybe this was a mistake calling..and i like a dummy was like well im sorry you feel that way but dont go . anyways he ends the conversation then texts me that he misses me so then I remembered that I need to be in control so i did say i miss him to and goodnight. He texted me this AM saying that he hopes I have a good day
    .. I’m thinking I should go back into no contact?

    guess this wasnt short !

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 19, 2016 at 9:50 am

      Hi Natacha,

      when did you first break up? And when was the last?

  6. Jai

    November 14, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    I just graduated from Medical school and started residency 6 months ago. When I started residency, I started to see one of the senior residents at work. I didn’t want to because I figured it would be a bad idea and I wasn’t sure he was trying to date. In the beginning he was around me all the time, he would spend the night at my place and I would spend the night at his place (seeing each other after work). Eventually, I had a lot of problems at work (my co-workers didnt really like me). This caused problems between us, plus he decided he didnt want to be comitted (he want the ability to see other people). I let him know I didnt want this. Eventually, he told me after a couple months he didnt want to see me anymore; he was very harsh about it ( he was already going on dates with pther people, he told me this). I let him be, he was going to a different work site so it was easier. I was really saddened by this because I really liked him. After 2 months, I felt better but still missed him so I started to message him (this is after he tried to call me but I missed the call). He started to ask me to hang out again, eventually we started having sex again (hadn’t hung out). I made a mistake though, I freaked out on him because I thought he started to block me ( he says he didnt he lost his phone). Also, their was a party that one of his friends was throwing and he invited all the co-workers but me. This is another reason I freaked out on him because I didnt understand why he didnt want me to go. I confronted him about this, he said that Id never seen him in party mode and he might not of been able to be himself if I was there. What does that mean? What should I do at this point? I havent really said anything to him and he hasn’t said anything to me either. We still have to see each other at work because he’s back at the central site but we dont see each other that much as he’s doing other things.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      Hi Jai,
      don’t be friends with benefits, if you don’t want to be treated that way. You’re expecting more from someone who’s not giving you more..

  7. jast

    November 12, 2016 at 2:28 am

    Hi chris,
    it’s been 15 days since i started the no contact rule.
    me and my ex boyfriend been together for only 3 months. and i was his first serious relationship, he is immature and full of pride. but the relationship wasn’t bad.

    we broke up for some reason that he was depressed in his school, family and sometimes we have mild argue so that’s including me.

    and I tried to reach to him after the break up when i read his facebook posts about me.
    but it ended up not cool because he was replying negative to neutral.

    and for being stubborn he is. he contacted me only 1 time during the 15th day of NC.
    I thought it would be a good idea to break the contact rule when i was aware during the days if NC. He is posting some qoutes that indirectly for me. negative turn into a positive qoutes.
    plus the factor he initiated contact.

    tada: here’s our convo.

    him: doing well?
    me: good how about you?
    him: Haha. fun xD.
    me: what kind of fun stuffs?
    him: Can’t describe xD
    me: still good for you! 🙂
    me: I’ve been into a awesome place and it was awesome. you’ll see cool stuffs in there
    him: been to ___ but didn’t took pictures.
    me: which part? man i wish i could see the view :V
    him: I’m now outside eating something why?
    him: Oh shit
    him: fuck my life, when your friends’ name starts with letter j, jerica,jerlyn, jayvee :V

    I didn’t respond after this. because it was getting out of hand.

    my question is:
    what will i do now? since i know he tends to be hot and cold.
    and at the same time the 15 day contact rule didn’t work.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 14, 2016 at 9:06 pm

      Hi Jast,

      What did he meant in his last message? Did you improve yourself during nc? And actually, you shouldn’t have replied to that text, because it’s like assuring him that you’ll still reply whenever he messages you.

  8. Amy

    November 8, 2016 at 4:43 pm

    Hi Chris, Please help!!

    So I recently got back in touch with my ex after about 5-6 months of no contact. I had no intention of getting back in touch with him since I had learned he was using drugs. He had asked a mutual friend for my number because he felt he needed to talk to me again. He explained that he is off the drugs and is working on his excessive drinking.

    (Bit of background, I am only 16, he is 17 and has Aspergers and ADHD which is why I’m worried of certain things I say to him, he may not take it the same way others do).

    We have spoken nearly everyday for the last 2 weeks and its all gone smoothly. He has mentioned how I still look great and brought up memories of when we were together.
    However, I messaged him today after not speaking for a few days and he said he had done something wrong yesterday so he was feeling really bad. He didn’t say anything straight but he said how his arm was “still sore” so I asked if he had been in a fight or injected drugs. He denied both and said it was the “other thing.” This devastated and angered me so I immediately said I didn’t want to talk to him anymore at that moment. He didn’t fight me on it.

    What should I do in order to “win him back” or regain his attention? I really thought he was wanting to give us another try but this has shattered that dream at the minute.

    I would really appreciate some help please and as soon as possible!!

    1. Amy

      November 8, 2016 at 4:45 pm

      Plus we broke up 8 months ago after only 2 months of dating.

      Thank you!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 11, 2016 at 10:36 pm

      Hi Amy,

      that other thing, is that contradicting to your values? Is that something that is non-negotiable for you?