Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
What Is An Avoidants Biggest Fear?
What Does A Fearful Avoidant Need?
Post categories
Emery
May 1, 2017 at 6:22 pm
So I’m so confused because my ex and I broke up 5 months ago. And till then we have never had at least a month of no contact. For some reason my ex tends to contact me. &he doesn’t even ask me to hang out. He texts me random things. I always argue with him and tell him to stop playing games and using me. This week he called me and yesterday he text me telling me hope you had fun last night and I told him thanks hope you did too and he said he stayed home because he had stuff to do in the morning. I told him okay and good night. He didn’t respond. Is he just emotionally using me? It’s been 5 months already and he has not even tried to see me just text.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 6:30 pm
if you replied and talk to him during nc, that’s not nc.. if you did it right, you have to build rapport slowly after that through initiating texts first, then calls then meet ups while continuing to improve yourself
Scott Jessen
April 3, 2017 at 7:03 pm
Me and my ex were together for almost two years, found out two weeks ago she Shas been cheating since we moved 5 months ago with multiple people at work. We are both young but I never thought she was like this because of how real the love was before we moved..She tried to cut me off a few weeks ago without telling me what happened and made it seem like it was my fault.. I love her deeply and I felt so much pain, but j could not bring myself to hurt her back in fact I wanted to still be with her so badly I’ve been asking her to come over so I can see her..We have had sex since then but keeps saying she doesn’t want to commit because she doesn’t want to hurt me again and she needs to know if she can restrain herself if she’s in a relationship..But she also tells me things like she can’t imagine her life without me and maybe in the near distant future we can be together again..She’s still goes back to sleeping with this other guy after she tells me she wont… Each time she lies to me it hurts less and less and when she tells me she wants to come over and talk or see me again or hangout just for fun I feel instantly better she’s very beautiful and I love having sex with her.. but I feel very confused because I can’t trust a word she says but I can’t bring myself to cut her out of my life… I know your going to just tell me to drop her but I’ve read all these accounts and none of them say the ex wants to be with them in the future, I feel slightly used but I feel like I might be starting to use her.. I DO love her and and she tells me she loves me without me saying it first.. she loves sex and says the sex with the other people is meaningless Wich I believe.. is there any hope of us fixing this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 5:02 pm
Hi Scott,
Do you want to try the no contact period?
Faith
April 1, 2017 at 5:03 am
The guy that I used to talk to for 8 months finally initiated to reach out after 3 months of NC. He confessed that he still has the same feelings for me even he was the one who broke it off. We kept our conversation going through texting and mentioned about meeting up in person but we did not have a specific date. Its confusing how he was telling me he wants to arrange everything but I see no actions. Texting is not that consistent too but everytime we would start to have a conversation its gonna be the whole day til dawn. This whole thing confuses me when he is telling me he is back and know better. I feel like these are mixed signals. P.S. he intiated talking to me 2 weeks ago, im not sure if im too exaggerating or overreacting the situation and expecting too much to see efforts. Please help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2017 at 5:23 pm
Hi Faith,
let him invest to you more by talking to him but be the one to end the conversations at high point..dont let it go on all day
Rine
March 25, 2017 at 1:01 am
Hi…
This morning my ex came to ask me I want to have sex with him even if he already has a new girlfriend…It’s been 2month since we get separated(we’ve been stuck together during 14years),so we’ve kissed but no more after this he told me he will be back tonight to see if I will agreed to this idea because I’m reluctant to do this to his new girlfriend. I wanted to get my revenge to this beautiful slut (yeah I hate her, we were bestfriend before) but right now I’m doubtful to this situation I don’t want to get hurt anymore( I’m actually in a new relationship too) so if you could help me, an advice will be really appreciated.Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 26, 2017 at 12:40 pm
Hi Rine,
check this one:
Sleeping with Your Ex Boyfriend… Does It Work?
Annie
February 28, 2017 at 11:34 pm
Myself and my ex wer together 5 years! Hes told me he misses me but also says he cant be with me! Now he says he wants to control me, that i have to do what he says when he says it! Like dirty pictures etc! Is there any chance for us or am i fighting fir sumthing thats not there?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2017 at 7:57 pm
Hi Annie,
I hope you didn’t agree to that. Is he abusive?
Sofia
February 10, 2017 at 5:20 pm
I was with my ex boyfriend for two years we have been broken up for two years also but have been in contact throughout the break up. He gives me anxiety and I have told him numberous times that I am not willing to see him or have any sort of contact whilst he is in contact with other women is this the right thing to do? The reason we broke up was because he was in contact with other women he did physically cheat but when speaking to multiple women. He says he really wants to sort things out and denies seeing other women but asked me to go to a concert with him and took another woman. I flipped and went totally mental and text him 10000 times he says I’m crazy and he didn’t do that but I seen a video of him with the other woman. He says if I stop being crazy we can sort things out. Do I deserve to be treated like this? Am I crazy?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2017 at 11:04 pm
Hi Sofia,
of course you don’t deserve it but for me, you should move on from him.. He says and does another repeatedly and then turns everything on you..
Alissa
January 8, 2017 at 6:08 am
Hi, my ex & I broke up for over a half year now. I had gone through the NC rule with him for quite a lot times before, & it’s hard for me to handle my own emotion whenever I sensed him seeing other women (like, talking flirtatiously on FB & OKC, etc). I always ended up telling him how much I loved him before, etc, which led to argument & blocking me on WhatsApp. This pattern kept repeating back & forth.
He used to suggest getting into FWB term with me, & I agreed at first but we didn’t manage to meet up for sex after breaking up due to his busy work-schedule. I did take back my words on agreeing to become his FWB before, but it seen to me that he is not interesting in talking to me regardless of any other topics than sexting. I even did try initiating other topics as well, but he will choose to ignore me instead.
Right now, he still views me as his standby tool for his desire. I’m afraid if I would to suggest becoming back to normal friends, he will never talk to me again. I know it’s silly of me to initiate becoming FWB term with him this time round, while trying to use sex as a way to get him back fast.
If I would to start the NC rule again with him, I’m afraid he will be getting into a new relationship anytime soon.
Should I even suggest to him that we should stop sexting/becoming FWB & be back to normal friends again instead? Is the chance of me getting back to him hopeless now?
I’m kinda stuck in this situation now. Any step I take is seemingly risky to me.
I really do hope I can have a better relationship with him this year than last.
Hope to hear from you guys soon, Thank You in Advance. 🙂
Sofia
February 10, 2017 at 5:23 pm
Sounds like my ex
Alissa
January 29, 2017 at 5:26 am
thanks for replying, & you’re right about it.
i would just have to reject having sex with him in all cause then, & stay as normal friends instead.
infact i still have feelings for him.
i’m trying to rekindle with him, but he just seems to get turn off with any other topics.
i even brought up he’s likes & interest, etc.
isn’t there any other ways to make him interested in talking to me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 29, 2017 at 12:39 pm
the only other chance is if he sees you’re really serious about not being friends with benefits and if you keep or maintain improving because it increases your value.. it can make him regret and make him interested to talk.. but there can also be a chance that he would still try to see if you’re going to agree being fwb
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Hi alissa,
you have to think about your standards.. would you rather lose your self than him? if you’re going to lose him because you don’t want to be his friend with benefits, then you dodged a bullet..
Claire
November 8, 2016 at 1:48 pm
So my partner was using me for sex it took a while to figure it out. I told him point blank I would not be his fb and he told me he doesn’t want a relationship. I told him that’s fine it’s not the end of the world. I am all ready for moving on I went and spoke to him got my closure he apologised for the way he done it. And said he would never txt me again I told him how much he hurt and he shrugged and sighed like he didn’t believe me. (He thought I was playing a game in the relationship). Anyway when I left I stupidly txt him about something to do with fb the reason been I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t believe me. Never expected a reply. So he replies the next day about 15 hours after I sent the txt saying he doesn’t care and I should grow up. I was in shock I responded that he shrugged me off like he didn’t believe me and he said. His reply was sorry I don’t want a relationship. I replied again and told him that a I had tried to make it work and I can’t do it anymore. And no response. A few hours past and I txt satin I know he was texting to get in my head and it’s not fair and go play his games elsewhere. He responded very rudely and told me to stop sending daft texts and calling me names. So I told him not to call me names anyway a few hours later he sent a blank txt. Haven’t responded. I am moving on I have a job interview and a date lined up I do really love him but he has really hurt me. I just don’t know what he is playing at. I’m not interested in no contact as I have tried it and I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Just want advise on him please.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 11, 2016 at 8:58 pm
Hi Claire,
sorry I don’t understand. I have to ask, do you mean to move on? Because if it’s really moving on, just stop talking to him. There’s no point to talk anymore if he’s being disrespectful and that you are moving on.
Sally
November 1, 2016 at 1:28 pm
This guy and I had some sort of a fling for 6 months. Everything was going fine at first. We started off just as friends two months before we both started liking one another. We weren’t official, there was always times when I asked what he wanted, and all he said was like “lets just get to know one another first, and we’ll see where it goes” while doing all those couple thing does, kissing, cuddling etc. I didn’t trust him in the beginning, because i’ve always hated his lifestyle. We kinda liked different things. But we tried anyways. Everytime i told him that it’s hard for me to trust him if he didn’t put an effort to make me trust him. He asked me what do i want him to do. Then he slowly started to become more caring towards me, but still less communication. Sometimes he ignored me for days, making me a fool waiting for him. But at the same time, he did ask me out, for dinner, lunch, groceries shopping together, or just out on dates like that. Since he didn’t really communicate with me that much, i’ve always assumed things about him. It’s not because i hated him or wanted to be a judgemental kind of person, but it’s because i wanted to get to know him more. But maybe my ways of showing that was wrong. I feel like it’s a very unhealthy relationship. And then one time, he got kinda got pissed off that i’ve always said all these things to him, that led him to jerk off about my physical appearance which i thought was so immature, but he got it all covered up by saying things like “but i’m not perfect myself” I felt hurt, he never said sorry, and still months went on, i had to make a decision because i knew i deserved more. He wasn’t really there when i needed him, most of the time only there when he wanted me to be there. We’re both from two different countries, just to add up to the the info. We both went back to our countries, and decided what we wanted. Though i know myself i deserve more, but i still let him get to me. While we were both away, we still talked to one another, but not too much. We came back, and he decided that it’s better to stay off friends, and that he doesn’t want to be a relationship at the moment. I said ok. I never talked to him first, unless he contacted me. Every 3 days, he called me. This gave me some sort of like hope that maybe it can work out again. One day, i’ve missed him very much, so i decided to go to his place. We were at first just talking and at the end, he started kissing me etc (no sex). I kissed him for seconds then i stopped, pushing him away. Asking what is this all about. And we fought again. He said that it’s all my fault for coming to his place, and again he said that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. I said ok, but in the middle of the fight he said things like I was very judgemental, forgetting all the things he had hurt me with his words, and not being there for me. I told him, if we want to stay friends, why did he keep on calling me every 3 days? He said ok, he’ll stop contacting me. And i also said everything that he had hurt me. He accused me too much, making me feel like i’m at fault for everything that happened, that i decided to tell him the things he did to hurt me too. He told me to go, so i left. I blocked him on social medias, but not on phone number, he could still talk to me if he reaches me out through that. It’s been a few days now, i miss him sometimes but i don’t know what to do. My friend even said, she saw him with another girl, i’m not sure if he’s sleeping with the girl or not. Sometimes, i blame myself, feeling like i’m the only one at fault. But other times, i feel like he’s the one who made it all wrong. Please advise. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 2, 2016 at 4:50 pm
Hi Sally,
to be honest, you’re only fault is you hoped and you let it go on too long.. There’s no guarantee that he will commit but doing the 30 day no contact rule can help you and him have space and think and for you to improve too
Agnes
October 29, 2016 at 4:29 pm
What if I’m in BOTH SITUATIONS… I did no contact for two weeks.. My ex started calling and texting all the time. Finally I picked up the phone (I know, my mistake)… I went to his house and we had sex, cuddled, had a great time… He’s coming to my birthday
But I think he is using me. I’m friends with benefits with my ex and attached emotionally, and he uses me to be ok… But refuses to commit in any way. Should I tell him “I’m not doing this anymore” and not contacting him? Just a “man up or I’m leaving forever”?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 31, 2016 at 8:31 pm
Hi Agnes,
You have to power to say no. Just say no or avoid the situation or the scenario that it will happen. Your actions will be stronger than asking him to stop, because just asking or talking to him about it before hand, is like handing him the decision to stop being friends with benefits. I understand, of course you would want to tell him you don’t want it anymore, but it’s just more powerful to just say no, at the moment or avoiding the situation from happening because he would probably think, ‘Yeah, right, we’ll see..” And the no contact period was too short..
There’s no guarantee that restarting the no contact period will work, it may help but just ignoring him will not do any better too.. What matters more is that you stop being friends with benefits, and just focus in improving yourself.
Black
October 25, 2016 at 7:58 am
My ex and I break up 2 months ago..he got in another relationship for about 3 weeks that didn’t last..so we’ve started back seeing each other but he say on a friend level..we continue to fuss over our pass relationship. He gets mad when I tell him im about to move and find some one else..we’ve had passionate sex twice. He never ask me for nothing..he just comes over and spend the night dang near every night..he don’t see other women cause no one calls his phone he’s always around me. I don’t know what he really wants. .do you think he wanna get back in a relationship but scared..I don’t feel as he’s using me..he just hadn’t admitted he want me back.. hes hinted…but I think he truly do cause he knows im a good woman. .please tell me something. .should I move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 26, 2016 at 3:11 pm
Hi Black,
If he just wants to be friends, but continues to sleep with you, that means he wants to be friends with benefits. Why would he be afraid to get back together with you? Have you asked him?
Leise
September 25, 2016 at 4:13 am
my ex and I have been broken up for two years now and he contacts me once every few months
He only calls me when he’s wasted I sometimes cave and go over to watch a movie but he ends up initiating more I give signals that I don’t want but then end up doing it.
The last few encounters he’s been too drunk to get it up but we don’t address it cause it’s embarrassing and he focuses on me .. it’s hard to get into enjoy it but he still wants to do it
I got home last night and thought have I been taking advantage of him? Makes me feel guilty and bad but he begs me to go over
I think I will leave when he inicates it and I’ll feel stronger for it and show him I’m not interested in that if we’re not going to get back together
But I do enjoy seeing and hearing how he’s been and the time we spend not being intament
He dosnt contact me the next day and we won’t speak for months it’s hard to say no when I used to be very in love with him last night I he asked me to drive out and pick him up from a friend’s place I knew he was wasted and wanted to help him get home
I enjoyed hearing how he’s been otherwise and he stopped smoking pot too which is good he seemed a bit more together and he holds himself together when he’s drunk maybe that makes me think he’s not as drunk as he really is
I still care about him and want to what’s best for him but also feel like I’m being used by him since he only calls me when he’s drunk I don’t like feeling taken advantage of either
Not sure what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 25, 2016 at 2:10 pm
HI Leise,
yes he is.. He knows you’ll come even if it’s been months since you last talk… Do you sleep with him?
Ivy
September 16, 2016 at 11:53 pm
Thanks for the blog Chris.My ex and I dated for 3 years and started having misunderstandings that led to break up for 8 months,but within the 4th month of our break up,he actually started chatting me again.But he said he and I can never get back again,because of the way I acted towards him when we broke up.But we in the 9th month now,he started coming over to my place again.But I told him no sex and he respects my wish.But on the second week of he coming to my place in this 9th month,we actually had a passionate kiss and bathed together and we really did cuddled but no sex.Please Chris,can’t think far.What is my luck in getting a commitment from my ex?Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 19, 2016 at 8:07 am
Hi Ivy,
I think you should check this ones first:
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Commit
Chase Theory: How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Chase You Again
Lil bit
July 22, 2016 at 11:00 am
My ex left me 5 months ago he with someone else now he told me that he have this gut feeling not to be with this person.. he said he doesn’t want to be with me because he doesn’t have the desire too but he said he love me and care about me a lot and that we are just friends we were together 4 years but he only call or text me while he is at work or if he need something i still want to be with him and still hurt over the break up even though he told me to move on and get over him its hard he said even if he wasn’t with this person he still wouldn’t be with me now do i still be there for him or cut him off like he did me im feeling used but im hoping that he will see that im the one and he’ll come back to me i want the love of my life back
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 22, 2016 at 8:18 pm
Hi Lil bit,
You should do no contact and just focus in yourself for 45 days
Amber
July 1, 2016 at 6:50 am
I like the advice in this article. I’m just wondering: when an ex comes to you for reassurance/advice/emotional support, what’s the best way to respond? I’m unsure if waiting a while is best or trying to change the topic or just acting uninterested….
Thanks!
Amber
July 2, 2016 at 6:57 am
And he’ll say something like “I don’t know what to do” etc.
Amber
July 2, 2016 at 6:56 am
Mainly just complaining about school and life choices and bad grades… And a couple times, whenever things don’t work out
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 5:26 pm
Hi Amber
it depends on how often he has done that and why he was needing support
Maddie
May 6, 2016 at 9:16 pm
Here’s the backstory. My bf & I have been officially together over a year. He pursued me & It took awhile for him to have the relationship/commitment talk with me. Before we became officially bf/gf we agreed to not put a label on us. Anyways everything was going great and I practically lived with him. However in March he grew very distant & cold towards me & would not pay any attention to me while I was there. He ended up breaking up with me. Told me he was unhappy with himself this past year because he gained weight & hasn’t found a job in his field (we got together when he graduated university. He wanted to take a break over the summer before searching a full time job in his field…eventually when he started searching no one contacted him when he applied or chose him). He said he needs to be alone to get his butt into gear and accomplish the things he needs too like lose weight & find a job. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship to work on himself. I was upset because I felt he could do those things with me in his life & I wanted to be there to support him. I begged & told him that. He said there was something also missing between us because it’s like we’re friends who hang out instead of a couple. Anyways I went into NC for 25 days. We began texting & met up last week. I ended up spending the night because I was too drunk to drive & we slept together. I woke up early to go to work & that night he invited me again. Again we did it but he was really cold & not affectionate & kicked me out the next morning. I felt used. We had dinner plans last night. I spent the night again thinking it would be different but I just felt used. Like I was there to give him what he wanted & then he showed no signs of caring or affection towards me. Needless to say I’m done. My question is what do I tell him? To I say “I enjoy my time spent with you but I’m not going to sleep anymore because I feel like you are using me. I would still like to spend time with you but you need to know I will no longer sleep with you unless we are committed to eachother again” oooor do I not even say anything & just be a tease & leave before anything happens? Is it too harsh to tell him I feel like he’s using me? Should I omit that if we talk?
Maddie
May 8, 2016 at 2:20 pm
Thank you so much! Should I continue texting him or wait until he initiates conversation? When we first began texting we seemed to have a good balance, although they weren’t emotional. They were more friendly. But since we been meeting up this past week it seemed to have fizzled. He doesn’t initiate and he answers me pretty short. To top it all off I know he hangs out with a girl now. Who’s his best friend’s ex. I’m sure it’s harmless & they are just friends but it seems her company is replacing mine you know.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 3:11 am
yeah, it can be that they more interesting talks for him, maybe about his best friend.. Try to take a rest from texting daily.. and then focus on having more interesting conversations once you do again and leave him wanting more.. like rest for 4 days now..
Maddie
May 7, 2016 at 1:27 am
I forgot to mention I do want him back! So what will help my chances more?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 1:51 pm
Hi Maddie,
it’s better if you just leave, if he persists then tell him it’s not you to be sleeping with someone you’re not committed to
Shannon
May 5, 2016 at 9:33 pm
My ex and I broke up in December. I did no contact for two months. Never actually reached out to him. One day he asked if I had a folding table of his. I eventually gave it to him. After he said he wanted to talk but wasn’t ready to. A week later he texts and apologizes for how things went down and says he wants to talk. We get together and talk. He tells me how the relationship went wrong for him and what he should have been doing in it. I was impressed. We hung out for a week everyday pretty much. Then he didn’t talk to me for a few days. I got really emotional and asked him what was going on since he said to me he felt his “life was a puzzle” and “wanted to see where I fit in his life”. He said he liked where things were at “we can hang out and it’s not weird” is what he said. so I told him I didn’t want to be his friend because I thought it would hold me back. Now it’s a month later. He texted me and asked if I had a pair of his shoes. I told him no and sorry. He responsed by making a joke and that started a couple hour long flirty conversation. I invited him over to have sex. My intentions were for him to just come over, do it, and leave. But it was so intimate. So so so intimate. I stayed on the other side of the bed after but he wanted to cuddle. We did it multiple other times and cuddled. And he slept over. I am so confused now. I’m not sure how to move forward? It was so intimate. Was it just sex for him? Why did he want to cuddle when he always complained about cuddling so much when we were together? Does he still have feelings for me? What do I do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 8:28 am
Hi Shannon,
honestly if he wanted to be serious, he already said it.. I pretty sure he still doesn’t want complications, just like what he said last time.. right now, you have to stop being friends wih benefits..
if you really wanted him back.. take it slow.. it’s ok to start out as friends if you’re working on building rapport and attraction while in it..
tell him it’s not you’re not yourself by sleeping with him and you’ll stop it.. your decision if you want to do anothet nc or start now with the texting phase
Amber
April 16, 2016 at 9:47 pm
Hi Chris,
Great article, i think every girl being used know they are used but just hate to admit it, could be pride or knowing u need to give up. I guess i had been used both ways, recently my ex told me we should stop having sex cus he was moving on to some one else, i begged, explained, proved nicely why we would be good together and “nada”. Soi thought about implementing the nc, but at this point i may just need to move on (dont want it). So i am nc-ing him and trying to work on myself. I will give time some time as friends have said. All on your website is extremely good. Keep it up
Jena
March 29, 2016 at 8:47 pm
Hi Chris,
I’ve been dating my guy for 6 months, he’s been separated from his wife a little longer than that duration. He’s been very up and down with the separation of assets and business, and lately I feel like I’m being used emotionally and sex isn’t as frequent as we were. We had an argument lastnight, as I felt he’s been very selfish and he wouldn’t talk on phone but happy to text. So I stopped texting and just said Goodnight, and left it at that. We have not contacted one another at all today, and we normally text or talk several times a day. Lately it seems very one sided… all about him. So what do I do to switch things up?
Thanks you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 6:27 am
Hi Jena,
You have to open to him about that. Talk calmly and then let him do the effort after that talk.
Kat
March 25, 2016 at 3:44 pm
Hi Chris. I’ve read quite a few of your blogs, and they have been very helpful. I am in a very interesting situation. Simply put- became friends with this guy in high school, we became best friends, he moved to Canada for a year and didn’t like it, so he came back (we Skype and emailed weekly). Within three months of him being back we dated for two months, but we were too immature to have this relationship. I was too controlling and emotional, and needy.
We are in the same social group, so remained friend. We became fwb which lasted about 6 months, where he never slept with anyone else. It stopped. I started dating other people, while still being best friends (meaning we hangout nearly everyday).
A year after my last relationship we started it again, it lasted 10 months where he only slept with me only again, and I mentioned in passing that we were sort of seeing each other, which pushed him away (afraid of committing because of how I was in our relationship). We had a bit of space for a few months, but still hung in the same social group.
Cut to a year later (today), and it was a difficult year, it’s slowly starting again, but not as frequent because he’s also sleeping with other people, which is a different situation to the last few times.
This sort of relationship we have has been a long term thing. We have been through hell and back and still he wants to hangout with me, whether we have sex or not. I love him, and I know he loves me. I believe him when he says he doesn’t want something serious, so I don’t have any expectations. I live it day to day and enjoy each moment we have together, because you only live once and you should spend it with the people who care about you.
I don’t expect him to change his mind, I don’t expect him to commit. But I know him well enough to know what he wants, and he’s a simple guy taking each day as it comes. If he likes you he’ll stick around. And I’ve always been that girl to him. And if I continue to be the confident girl I am and live my life for me, things will fall into place. Whether with him, or with someone else.
But one thing I know for sure, whether he’s the one or not- this is one special connection between two people that is with me for life.
You’ve been a great help Chris, if you have an opinion or think I need to do something differently, please respond. Xxx
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2016 at 1:35 pm
HI Kat,
Good beliefs.. and that’s right. The only thing that needs to change is being fwb. Stop the sex, or you won’t get out being fwb until he founds someone worth stopping it.