I Made Out With My Ex Boyfriend, Now What?

We get asked about this quite a lot.

We hear from at least a few ladies every day saying,

“I used your system and it worked great. So much so, that we made out, but now I’m not sure what to do.”

Well, The Good News First

The good news is that your ex still finds you physically attractive.

And you got him to meet up with you in person!

That says a lot right there.

Most couples after a breakup, can’t even stand to be in the same room as each other, let alone make out.

But, here you are kissing him and stuff.

Go you! Kudos!

You’d be shocked how many women jump at the chance to play tonsil hockey with their exes.

Once you get through No ContactTexting, and land that first face to face, it’s easy to get sucked back into the physical relationship. Giving into that temptation to jump straight to the kiss and makeup part is so alluring that going back to establish a good foundation for the relationship becomes a hurdle.

Assuming he kissed you back, it could be worse. I mean could have not. He could have run away screaming bloody murder.

What You Really Want to Know

What you are really wondering is how to proceed now that you’ve lip-locked with your ex-sweetie. Now that you’ve experienced a reaction, you are hoping that that means you’re done.

Who wouldn’t wonder that?

I mean as humans we are impatient. We want what we want and we want it now.

The bad part is that no, the kiss means only one thing. It’s just a guess, but I bet he wanted to kiss you when you two were together. Finding someone attractive doesn’t ever go away completely.

So, you guessed it, both the good and bad news is that he wants to kiss you. The bad news for you is also that there’s no shortcut to getting your ex back.

When you are hungry you go out and get some fast food. This satiates your hunger.

When your exboyfriend needed to feel wanted or doesn’t want to feel alone he reaches out to feel connected.

Keeping that in mind, you have to realize that a make-out sesh doesn’t a relationship make. It’s not a promise of one in the future.

When you were fourteen and you made out with someone, it generally led to you being emotionally invested.

I don’t presume to know your ex. But with most of the adults I know, making out with someone just means they’re attractive and up for a quick dose of Dopamine.

The trick to making this become something more is to make him desire more from you specifically. I mean, I’m guessing you don’t want him making out with you AND everyone else.

That’s why it’s important to go through ALL of the steps to succeed in presto chango-ing your exboyfriend into being your boyfriend again.

Let me put it this way. When I was little I loved to watch Buffy. Yeah I know, Chris isn’t the only Buffy fan. But I HATED waiting a whole week for the next episode to some out. Those cliff hangers fed into a desire to see things through to the end.

Or worse, when they would skip a week! It was torture.

Now, Netflix is my best friend and worst enemy.

Judging by the fact that marathoning no longer only applies to running really long distances for a T-Shirt and no good reason. (You know, like a bear, or a shoe sale) I’m going to guess that most of you have the same issue I do.

Too much of a good thing!

There are so many good shows out there and my wilpower isn’t enough not to sit down and watch all 6 seasons of lost in less than a week.

If you watched that show you know things got a little weird toward the end. Sometimes it was just down right hard to watch simply because it was hard to believe or follow what was going on.

But I couldn’t stop watching.

Do you want to know why?

They kept a little bit of mystery going on. Grant it, after they started with the magic nonsense, it just got a little hard to keep up. But the real reason I could stop is because I had invested time into getting to know the characters.

I cared whether they lived or died and what happened to them even though I know that they were 100% fictional.

Emotional investment is hard to force on someone, but investment in general isn’t.

Much like my need to finish things once I start them. You need to generate a need to keep up with you in your ex.

Did you ever watch that movie “Failure to Launch?”

If not, here’s the general premise.

Parent’s who have tired of their grown sons still living at home being couch potatoes hire a woman to make their sons fall in love with her. Basically, her goal is to motivate them to create a life for themselves.

In my opinion, the movie wasn’t one of my favorites, but it always interested me that she had this process of making the men do what she wanted.

Yes, it’s fiction, but she had a pretty good plan that she laid out for his parents like this.

“Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship, so I simulate one: We have a memorable meeting, we get to know each other over a few casual meals, he helps me through an emotional crisis, then I meet his friends – if he has any – uh, then I let him teach me something; but, the bottom line is, he bonds with me, he lets go of you, he moves out.”

What does any of this have to do with you making out with your ex?

Well… why did you make out with him?

Because you want him back right? You wanted to remind him of the connection he had with you before.

3 of my best friends are guys. So, I get a lot of insight into why they do things. That’s part of why the “Failure to Launch” process kind of struck me as funny.

Most men don’t run around making out with people hoping to create a long lasting emotional bond. Those with low expectations just need the little self-esteem boost of knowing that you still want to make out with him. However, most men are just testing the waters to see if you’ll still sleep with them. Then, they don’t have to invest effort into a whole new relationship quite yet.

It’s sad I know. I hate to generalize men like that.  because I know for a fact that every man doesn’t simply want to sleep with you. But the percentage is high enough that I feel like it’s a pretty safe bet that he wasn’t making out with you to reestablish some kind of deep bond.

It doesn’t mean you can’t create one, though.

“How do I do that?”

Well, I’m sure you know by now that men want what they can’t have.

Once you make it through the ExRecovery program and you are spending time together, ask him for help with something… anything. The goal here is to make him feel needed.

That was the general idea in Failure to Launch. Building self-esteem isn’t something we do easily on our own.

The problem here is accomplishing this without coming off as needy.

Ask him for his help. Let him help. Then thank him and go about life.

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

I’m hesitant to tell you to do this because the last time I told someone to ask her ex for help to become a source of self-esteem she went a little overboard.

Here I was suggesting she call him instead of me because she was distraught over this desk she bought that came with instructions that were written completely in Japanese.

She called him and, like the knight in shining armor that he was, he came and saved the day. He even brought real tools and everything.

They spent the whole time talking and laughing. He hugged her before he left.

That’s when everything went wrong. She started calling him to help her with everything!

Pickle Jar lids? Call Jared*.

Cat escaped and ran off into the night? Call Jared*.

Car won’t start? Call Jared*.

Can’t decide what movie to watch? Call Jared*.

As you can imagine, Jared* didn’t feel needed. He started to think that no one else cared. She became his “needy ex-girlfriend and he stopped answering when she called.

So, I can’t stress this enough. Ask for his help once, maybe twice, with things that it is possible that you actually couldn’t do on your own. He’ll see straight through a pickle jar situation.

Don’t try and skip to the end of the Ex Recovery Program either.

If you haven’t already, start with No Contact and at least get through a couple in person interactions before playing the Damsel in Distress card. Otherwise, it just looks like a maneuver, when you want it to seem completely innocent.

What Now?

Basically, all you have to now is stay on track with wherever you are in the process.

I know. I know. Being patient is a lot more difficult than it sounds.

I’ve dealt with it myself.

According to a study done by Roy Baumeister. Willpower is a limited resource.

The study was an odd one involving a plate of cookies and a plate of radishes. Sounds really scientific I know.

But Dr. Baumeister brought the subjects into the room where the plates were. Some were asked to sample the cookies. Some were asked ot sample the radishes.

Now, I don’t know if your mom loves to bake like mine. But, I used to walk home from school and I could tell halfway down the road if mom was baking. The two smells that stood out above any other were Chocolate Chip Cookies and homemade bread. By the time I stepped foot in the door, my mouth would already be watering and I would go straight for the cookie jar like most children would.

Now, if any of you have ever had to resist warm chocolate chip cookies, you can imagine how hard it would have been to take a radish instead, especially if the smell of warm cookies were filling the space.

The subjects were then asked to complete a difficult geometric puzzle in 30 minutes. What he found was pretty interesting.

The subjects who had to exert willpower by resisting the cookies were the first to give up on the puzzle.

That study was done in 1998. In 2010, though, a Stanford University researcher Veronika Job, PhD, and her colleagues found that simply believing that willpower was a limited resource was what made the subjects more susceptible to giving up.

There are still ongoing studies as to what effects willpower. But according to what Professor Job found, you can extend your willpower (to not try to rush the process of getting your ex back) simply by believing that you can.

As one of my college friends used to say regarding my positive outlook and cheery demeanor,

“That is so Disney of you, Ashley.”

It’s the truth, though. You will be tempted to give up and you won’t get your ex back if you try and jump to the end.

Trust that the Program works and see it through and the likeliness that you will be successful is 100% more likely than if you give up.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Well, most people who want to get their ex back would take making out with him as a sign that they’ve reached their final destination. But, getting a little momentary attention isn’t the main goal here. You want him to beg you to take him back and be completely invested. I little smooching and you’re ready to settle for a layover instead of your final destination.

Don’t settle!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Ashley.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

EBR Team Member: Ashley

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148 Comments on "I Made Out With My Ex Boyfriend, Now What?"

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cassy
Guest
We broke up last january, then we started to have a limited contact through text and for the last 2 months we had sex twice and this month, i went to his place to return some of his stuff and we ended up making out. He kissed me first and i said no but eventually i gave in. We cuddled and talk a bit. He told me it would be hard for us to get back together coz he doesn’t want to hurt me. I dont know what to do. Should i continue seeing him? Kr texting him? Or should… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
cassy
Guest
We broke up last january, then we started to have a limited contact through text and for the last 2 months we had sex twice and this month, i went to his place to return some of his stuff and we ended up making out. He kissed me first and i said no but eventually i gave in. We cuddled and talk a bit. He told me it would be hard for us to get back together coz he doesn’t want to hurt me. I dont know what to do. Should i continue seeing him? Kr texting him? Or should… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Sarah
Guest
My ex suggested FWB. We made out the other night (he intiated) and I stayed over, we cuddled, etc. He says he doesn’t want a relationship. How do I get him to commit? I know he wants more than just kissing, what do I say when he suggests more? And should I continue kissing/flirting/cuddling to “tease” him? I don’t want to be easy and give him what he wants. I’m also worried if I flat out say “only friends and no benefits” he won’t want anything to do with me. I know he will want what he can’t have. What… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sarah,

When and why did you break up?
Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Sleep With Me… Should I?

Marie
Guest

So I saw my ex at a bar for the first time since our break up 3 months ago. We have had hardly any contact since then. We had a fun time at the bar, were flirting the whole night and then we went outside alone. We were making out and he stops mid-make out saying “I don’t want to lead you on.” So many mixed signals from this. What do you think he means? Like clearly he was enjoying himself too because he could have left the bar and gone home at any time but he stayed.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marie

I think it meant what he said.. It was a spur of a moment kind of thing because of the rush of emotions…he kissed you becausw of that but it doesn’t mean he wants to get back together..

Sarah
Guest
My ex suggested FWB. We made out the other night (he intiated) and I stayed over, we cuddled, etc. He says he doesn’t want a relationship. How do I get him to commit? I know he wants more than just kissing, what do I say when he suggests more? And should I continue kissing/flirting/cuddling to “tease” him? I don’t want to be easy and give him what he wants. I’m also worried if I flat out say “only friends and no benefits” he won’t want anything to do with me. I know he will want what he can’t have. What… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sarah,

When and why did you break up?
Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Sleep With Me… Should I?

Marie
Guest

So I saw my ex at a bar for the first time since our break up 3 months ago. We have had hardly any contact since then. We had a fun time at the bar, were flirting the whole night and then we went outside alone. We were making out and he stops mid-make out saying “I don’t want to lead you on.” So many mixed signals from this. What do you think he means? Like clearly he was enjoying himself too because he could have left the bar and gone home at any time but he stayed.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marie

I think it meant what he said.. It was a spur of a moment kind of thing because of the rush of emotions…he kissed you becausw of that but it doesn’t mean he wants to get back together..

sammy
Guest
Hi this is my situation. My ex chat me and wants to hang out. We broke up 2 years ago and this is our 2nd meet up (LDR we never got a chance to see each other during our relationship). Now we talked and got the answers to my question why we ended so fast. After that, he asked me to make out in nearby lodge. At first, I hesitate but in the end I see myself walking with him in the lodge. We make out, he kissed me, he explored everything on me, and I’m doing the same. We… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sammy,
so he means he wants to be friends with benefits with you?

sammy
Guest
Hi this is my situation. My ex chat me and wants to hang out. We broke up 2 years ago and this is our 2nd meet up (LDR we never got a chance to see each other during our relationship). Now we talked and got the answers to my question why we ended so fast. After that, he asked me to make out in nearby lodge. At first, I hesitate but in the end I see myself walking with him in the lodge. We make out, he kissed me, he explored everything on me, and I’m doing the same. We… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sammy,
so he means he wants to be friends with benefits with you?

sammy
Guest
Hi this is my situation. My ex chat me and wants to hang out. We broke up 2 years ago and this is our 2nd meet up (LDR we never got a chance to see each other during our relationship). Now we talked and got the answers to my question why we ended so fast. After that, he asked me to make out in nearby lodge. At first, I hesitate but in the end I see myself walking with him in the lodge. We make out, he kissed me, he explored everything on me, and I’m doing the same. We… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sammy,
so he means he wants to be friends with benefits with you?

sammy
Guest
Hi this is my situation. My ex chat me and wants to hang out. We broke up 2 years ago and this is our 2nd meet up (LDR we never got a chance to see each other during our relationship). Now we talked and got the answers to my question why we ended so fast. After that, he asked me to make out in nearby lodge. At first, I hesitate but in the end I see myself walking with him in the lodge. We make out, he kissed me, he explored everything on me, and I’m doing the same. We… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sammy,
so he means he wants to be friends with benefits with you?

Jessica
Guest

To add for some clarification he said he is hurt because he feels I always make him out to be the bad guy. I didn’t trust him. He’s never cheated on me and when I heard a bogus story I never gave him the benefit of the doubt.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,

If you’re in the no contact rule, then you shouldn’t initiate nor reply… You have to be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media.. You already did what you can do, to keep pushing it is chasing..

Jessica
Guest
My fiancé and I have been together 12 years. Of course we have had ups and downs but always ended up together. We got in a bad fight the beginning of October. He was out with some guy friends when we were supposed to have plans and I heard a rumor he was flirting with a girl. I flipped out and told him to leave (in much harsher words). He has been staying at a second home of ours during this time and had blocked me for about 3 weeks. During that time I found out the truth about the… Read more »
Jessica
Guest

To add for some clarification he said he is hurt because he feels I always make him out to be the bad guy. I didn’t trust him. He’s never cheated on me and when I heard a bogus story I never gave him the benefit of the doubt.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessica,

If you’re in the no contact rule, then you shouldn’t initiate nor reply… You have to be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media.. You already did what you can do, to keep pushing it is chasing..

Jessica
Guest
My fiancé and I have been together 12 years. Of course we have had ups and downs but always ended up together. We got in a bad fight the beginning of October. He was out with some guy friends when we were supposed to have plans and I heard a rumor he was flirting with a girl. I flipped out and told him to leave (in much harsher words). He has been staying at a second home of ours during this time and had blocked me for about 3 weeks. During that time I found out the truth about the… Read more »
Eva
Guest
My ex Bf asked me to get together the other night where he ended up telling me he wasn’t over me. We agreed that we both wanted to slowly try things again, and he said we would have to do things a little differently this time. It was him who brought up us trying things out again, there was no way I was going to put myself in a position to be rejected. We ended up cuddling and kissing that night and it felt like we had never broken up. He asked me to hang out again the next night,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eva,

Check this one:
Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back

Eva
Guest
My ex Bf asked me to get together the other night where he ended up telling me he wasn’t over me. We agreed that we both wanted to slowly try things again, and he said we would have to do things a little differently this time. It was him who brought up us trying things out again, there was no way I was going to put myself in a position to be rejected. We ended up cuddling and kissing that night and it felt like we had never broken up. He asked me to hang out again the next night,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eva,

Check this one:
Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back

W
Guest
Hi , it’s been 3 days and he have yet to initiate. I initiated a text and told him that if he would wanna talk things out again tmr. At first he told me that he don’t think so because he has something going on. Later then i ask him if he could swap his appointment because i would really like to spend the day with him. He then told me he might need to go out at 3. I asked him again until what time and he answered me maybe he have to go out latest by 5. And… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi W, When your ex is being distant, don’t ask for a date.. That means there’s not enough rapport… But since you already talked, it’s clear that he has or is moving on and he can see you’re chasing him.. So, it’s either you do one last nc of 45 days, slowly rebuild rapport after it while you continue having your own life or just move on.. If you’re doing nc, approach it like he had moved on. That way you’re not going to ask or demand for time or to take you back.. You’re going to try to make… Read more »
W
Guest
Hi , it’s been 3 days and he have yet to initiate. I initiated a text and told him that if he would wanna talk things out again tmr. At first he told me that he don’t think so because he has something going on. Later then i ask him if he could swap his appointment because i would really like to spend the day with him. He then told me he might need to go out at 3. I asked him again until what time and he answered me maybe he have to go out latest by 5. And… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi W, When your ex is being distant, don’t ask for a date.. That means there’s not enough rapport… But since you already talked, it’s clear that he has or is moving on and he can see you’re chasing him.. So, it’s either you do one last nc of 45 days, slowly rebuild rapport after it while you continue having your own life or just move on.. If you’re doing nc, approach it like he had moved on. That way you’re not going to ask or demand for time or to take you back.. You’re going to try to make… Read more »
W
Guest

Hi Amor, but since it’s a good sign , why he hasnt been texting me after the day we met ? Hmm … you said i can initiate a text after 3 days if he dont iniatiate right, can i ask him out for a date too?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi W, When your ex is being distant, don’t ask for a date.. That means there’s not enough rapport… But since you already talked, it’s clear that he has or is moving on and he can see you’re chasing him.. So, it’s either you do one last nc of 45 days, slowly rebuild rapport after it while you continue having your own life or just move on.. If you’re doing nc, approach it like he had moved on. That way you’re not going to ask or demand for time or to take you back.. You’re going to try to make… Read more »
W
Guest

Hi Amor, but since it’s a good sign , why he hasnt been texting me after the day we met ? Hmm … you said i can initiate a text after 3 days if he dont iniatiate right, can i ask him out for a date too?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Hi W, When your ex is being distant, don’t ask for a date.. That means there’s not enough rapport… But since you already talked, it’s clear that he has or is moving on and he can see you’re chasing him.. So, it’s either you do one last nc of 45 days, slowly rebuild rapport after it while you continue having your own life or just move on.. If you’re doing nc, approach it like he had moved on. That way you’re not going to ask or demand for time or to take you back.. You’re going to try to make… Read more »
W
Guest

Hi, will do what you said. Thanks . do you think it’s a good sign where he is still thinking abt our relationship?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yup, it’s a good sign..

W
Guest

Hi, will do what you said. Thanks . do you think it’s a good sign where he is still thinking abt our relationship?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Yup, it’s a good sign..

W
Guest
Hi. My ex asked me over to his place ytd to talk abt our relationship stuff. He asked me how have i changed these few months and i told him getting better in person. He asked me how better in person but i was too shy and nervous so i just said better in person means better in person. He initiate to hug me and kiss me. We then end up making out but i pushed him away at last and told him that im not someone who is cheap and someone who will simply make out without being in… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Nope, let him initiate a conversation or a text.. If after 3 days he doesn’t, you can initiate..

W
Guest
Hi. My ex asked me over to his place ytd to talk abt our relationship stuff. He asked me how have i changed these few months and i told him getting better in person. He asked me how better in person but i was too shy and nervous so i just said better in person means better in person. He initiate to hug me and kiss me. We then end up making out but i pushed him away at last and told him that im not someone who is cheap and someone who will simply make out without being in… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Nope, let him initiate a conversation or a text.. If after 3 days he doesn’t, you can initiate..

Pink
Guest
Hi Ms. Amor I got a problem after NC (30 days), my ex and I attended a friday activity then he ask me to stay a while in my house but sad to say we ended to have s*x, I dont know why this happen, it’s just we miss each other, he told me that his still inlove with me but he cant commit because he dont want to hurt me, his not yet ready. Now, Im so ashame of what Ive done, I dont want to be his friend with benefits, because when I message him the following morning,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Pink
Guest
Hi Ms. Amor I got a problem after NC (30 days), my ex and I attended a friday activity then he ask me to stay a while in my house but sad to say we ended to have s*x, I dont know why this happen, it’s just we miss each other, he told me that his still inlove with me but he cant commit because he dont want to hurt me, his not yet ready. Now, Im so ashame of what Ive done, I dont want to be his friend with benefits, because when I message him the following morning,… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor
Sandra
Guest
Relationship for 8 years, looking for a baby, however issues from both of us on not communicating issues made our relationship stale, I felt unhappy for past 8 months, he did for past 2 years. I got attention from someone else, told my bf but I broke up within 2 weeks. Dated the other guy straight after for 3 months. Worst mistake I’ve ever made. Dated other people, no one compared to 8 yr boyfriend, want him back. It’s been 7 months of break up, no contact in between, texted him recently to chat about us during coffee, he agreed.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sandra,

I think you have a good chance. Have you started improving yourself?

Sandra
Guest
Relationship for 8 years, looking for a baby, however issues from both of us on not communicating issues made our relationship stale, I felt unhappy for past 8 months, he did for past 2 years. I got attention from someone else, told my bf but I broke up within 2 weeks. Dated the other guy straight after for 3 months. Worst mistake I’ve ever made. Dated other people, no one compared to 8 yr boyfriend, want him back. It’s been 7 months of break up, no contact in between, texted him recently to chat about us during coffee, he agreed.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sandra,

I think you have a good chance. Have you started improving yourself?

Erin
Guest
Hey! I need advice desperately. My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. I did the no contact rule and we texted a few times after, but I really was not interested in pursuing getting him back anymore. Then I saw him out at a bar two nights ago, he came right up to me and we talked the whole night. He gave me a ride home and started intensely making out with me. He asked me to come home with him, I said no because I just was not expecting any of it and really thrown off. Now… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

start it like you’ve just ended the nc.. slowly build rapport with texts first, and then calls and then meet ups

Erin
Guest
Hey! I need advice desperately. My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. I did the no contact rule and we texted a few times after, but I really was not interested in pursuing getting him back anymore. Then I saw him out at a bar two nights ago, he came right up to me and we talked the whole night. He gave me a ride home and started intensely making out with me. He asked me to come home with him, I said no because I just was not expecting any of it and really thrown off. Now… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

start it like you’ve just ended the nc.. slowly build rapport with texts first, and then calls and then meet ups

Tracey
Guest
My ex and I broke up in January, with him freaking out and saying he couldn’t commit. We didn;t talk for over a month and then slowly became friends again. Recently, we kissed on a drunken night out and agreed to casually start seeing each other again. this has involved us sleeping together for the first time as well. But things have become quite intimate over the weeks. Whereas I tended to have to make plans for us when we dated the first time around, he now instigates regularly, even if that means us sitting on the sofa watching tv.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tracey,

yes, that’s a good sign.. check this one:
How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You

Tracey
Guest
My ex and I broke up in January, with him freaking out and saying he couldn’t commit. We didn;t talk for over a month and then slowly became friends again. Recently, we kissed on a drunken night out and agreed to casually start seeing each other again. this has involved us sleeping together for the first time as well. But things have become quite intimate over the weeks. Whereas I tended to have to make plans for us when we dated the first time around, he now instigates regularly, even if that means us sitting on the sofa watching tv.… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tracey,

yes, that’s a good sign.. check this one:
How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You

E
Guest
Hi Amor, So I tried to find a better answer to this throughout the entire website but couldn’t. I did the first text and was a really good one, I got a good response and we exchanged 4 texts each. I was about to end the conversation and he didn’t reply until over a day later. By this time I then replied cause obviously couldn’t end it then by saying bye before I even spoke that day so I replied with the intention of cutting it short but again he took over a day to reply AGAIN so that’s one… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Restart no, do at least 45 days.. Continue being active in improving yourself and in posting even if he’s not your friend.. And then follow the texting advice here:

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

E
Guest
Hi Amor, So I tried to find a better answer to this throughout the entire website but couldn’t. I did the first text and was a really good one, I got a good response and we exchanged 4 texts each. I was about to end the conversation and he didn’t reply until over a day later. By this time I then replied cause obviously couldn’t end it then by saying bye before I even spoke that day so I replied with the intention of cutting it short but again he took over a day to reply AGAIN so that’s one… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Restart no, do at least 45 days.. Continue being active in improving yourself and in posting even if he’s not your friend.. And then follow the texting advice here:

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

E
Guest

Please help me. I posted on here yesterday but it hasn’t been put on? I am stuck now because it’s been theee months and very complicated I just don’t know what to do now.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

I’ll just copy paste my answer to your first comment ok?

it was 30 days since he messaged you, but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period. If you did that, continue doing that and check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

E
Guest
Hi AMor! Thank you so much for that link, I hadn’t seen that before! However, it says on that plan to extend no contact to 45-60 days. This was my original plan but I didn’t see that article and I already messaged him yesterday after 5 weeks…. so therefore broke NC earlier than 45 days :/ should I continue to talk to him at all? Also where you said did I use that time to improve myself, yes. Definitely. Because it’s been theee months since the break up and a lot of that time has been since I finished the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s good that you improved yourself.. just continue building rapport for now while also continuing to improve yourself and be activwe in posting in social media

E
Guest

Please help me. I posted on here yesterday but it hasn’t been put on? I am stuck now because it’s been theee months and very complicated I just don’t know what to do now.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

I’ll just copy paste my answer to your first comment ok?

it was 30 days since he messaged you, but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period. If you did that, continue doing that and check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

E
Guest
Hi AMor! Thank you so much for that link, I hadn’t seen that before! However, it says on that plan to extend no contact to 45-60 days. This was my original plan but I didn’t see that article and I already messaged him yesterday after 5 weeks…. so therefore broke NC earlier than 45 days :/ should I continue to talk to him at all? Also where you said did I use that time to improve myself, yes. Definitely. Because it’s been theee months since the break up and a lot of that time has been since I finished the… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

that’s good that you improved yourself.. just continue building rapport for now while also continuing to improve yourself and be activwe in posting in social media

E
Guest
Hi Amor, My situation is a little complicated. Three months ago he broke up with me but then we got back together after a couple weeks cause he regretted it, but then we had a big argument because nothing had changed and I was sour about the break up and we broke up again. But every time I tried to do no contact he would message me after a week or two with personal texts like my clothes smell like him or I’m the only person he can really talk to. We ended up meeting up and started sleeping with… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it was 30 days since he messaged you, but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period. If you did that, continue doing that and check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

E
Guest
How do you mean by building rupport? How can I do this, should I still be messaging him then? I also don’t know how to tell if he’s over me? Should I start another 30 day NC? He’s replying really really slowly to messages so our conversation is going on like one text a day each. The improvements I’m focussing on now are physical so my nutrition and fitness and hygiene to increase confidence and also being really sociable. He doesn’t have me on Facebook which is the only social media he has because I unfriended him. Do you think… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Restart no, do at least 45 days.. Continue being active in improving yourself and in posting even if he’s not your friend.. And then follow the texting advice here:

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

E
Guest
Hi Amor, My situation is a little complicated. Three months ago he broke up with me but then we got back together after a couple weeks cause he regretted it, but then we had a big argument because nothing had changed and I was sour about the break up and we broke up again. But every time I tried to do no contact he would message me after a week or two with personal texts like my clothes smell like him or I’m the only person he can really talk to. We ended up meeting up and started sleeping with… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

it was 30 days since he messaged you, but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period. If you did that, continue doing that and check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

E
Guest
How do you mean by building rupport? How can I do this, should I still be messaging him then? I also don’t know how to tell if he’s over me? Should I start another 30 day NC? He’s replying really really slowly to messages so our conversation is going on like one text a day each. The improvements I’m focussing on now are physical so my nutrition and fitness and hygiene to increase confidence and also being really sociable. He doesn’t have me on Facebook which is the only social media he has because I unfriended him. Do you think… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

Restart no, do at least 45 days.. Continue being active in improving yourself and in posting even if he’s not your friend.. And then follow the texting advice here:

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Tash
Guest

Hi amor,

What shall I do now? He’s updating his holiday snaps, shall I keep looking at them?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if you’re in nc you shouldn’t

Tash
Guest

Hi amor,

What shall I do now? He’s updating his holiday snaps, shall I keep looking at them?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

if you’re in nc you shouldn’t

Tash
Guest
Hi Amor, It’s tash! After successfully completing no contact, my ex met up with me a few times and has been really nice to me. Told me he missed me but never tells me he loves me. I’ve also slept with him a few times and now he’s gone away on holiday with his family for a couple of weeks, before he went, he said thanks for everything and he hopes that I’m ok and that he would catch up with me when he gets back. He’s posting snaps, should I look at them or not? How can I make… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

I think you’re friends with benefits now.. so, don’t sleep with him again.. be busy yourself while he’s away.

Maddie
Guest

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago as he wasn’t ready for a commitment. Did NC for a while, eventually we started talking again, the other day we watched a film and had dinner. Yesterday we went out for lunch and went for a walk and he kissed me. This went on for a while until I stopped it. We had coffee after that but neither of us brought up the fact that he obviously still has feelings for me. How do I approach this? Can i get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just keep building rapport.. go back to texting.. if you build rapport and attraction, then yes you can get him back.

Maddie
Guest

We had a talk yesterday, and he admitted that while he still cares for me, he’s not ready for a commitment, but that we can still date if I’m comfortable with it. Not really sure what to do next, getting him to admit that he cares about me was difficult enough.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

decide, do you want to go out or move on

Tash
Guest
Hi Amor, It’s tash! After successfully completing no contact, my ex met up with me a few times and has been really nice to me. Told me he missed me but never tells me he loves me. I’ve also slept with him a few times and now he’s gone away on holiday with his family for a couple of weeks, before he went, he said thanks for everything and he hopes that I’m ok and that he would catch up with me when he gets back. He’s posting snaps, should I look at them or not? How can I make… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

I think you’re friends with benefits now.. so, don’t sleep with him again.. be busy yourself while he’s away.

Maddie
Guest

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago as he wasn’t ready for a commitment. Did NC for a while, eventually we started talking again, the other day we watched a film and had dinner. Yesterday we went out for lunch and went for a walk and he kissed me. This went on for a while until I stopped it. We had coffee after that but neither of us brought up the fact that he obviously still has feelings for me. How do I approach this? Can i get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just keep building rapport.. go back to texting.. if you build rapport and attraction, then yes you can get him back.

Maddie
Guest

We had a talk yesterday, and he admitted that while he still cares for me, he’s not ready for a commitment, but that we can still date if I’m comfortable with it. Not really sure what to do next, getting him to admit that he cares about me was difficult enough.

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

decide, do you want to go out or move on

Anon
Guest
Hi Amor, It’s been a while. Broken up now three months now. Did NC and was following Chris’ plan. We ended up hanging out a few times during texting phase (broke the rules). I never followed through the plan to phone calls. We have not had one phone conversation since before NC and that was just a bad desperate call on my end. So it’s been a month and half since NC stopped and since three weeks ago we ended up sleeping together a few times. What do I do? Cant invoke NC as we made big plans together with… Read more »
Anon
Guest
You may not remember me but to recap – he broke up with me after losing feelings and wanted to find himself blah blah. Did not see a future together with me anymore. He talks about it now like I was holding him back or that he is open to more opportunities now. He thinks break up doing us both good. He saw some of my new changes but I know didn’t do enough during NC. Still continuing on to be best version of myself. For myself. I know he is enjoying his life not with me. Said sometimes misses… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

well, if you know that you’re always going to sleep with him again. Then no nc can help that.. you have to decide to stop doing that first and to stick with it.

Anon
Guest

Yes, so I’m not going to do it again. So should I start of with the texting plan again?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah, try that first..if he keeps insisting being sexual, start nc..

Anon
Guest

Hi Amor,

So the ex was talking to one of our closest guy friends. This friend found out we were talking again and that we had slept together. He warned the ex that I might be trying to get him back and so when my ex asked I denied it. My ex is on the look out now though. Should I start NC?
Ex is actually super happy with his life at the moment and I feel like this friend thinks he is better without me which hurts. How do I make him want me emotionally not just physically?

🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just keep building rapport while not sleeping with him

Anon
Guest
Hi Amor, It’s been a while. Broken up now three months now. Did NC and was following Chris’ plan. We ended up hanging out a few times during texting phase (broke the rules). I never followed through the plan to phone calls. We have not had one phone conversation since before NC and that was just a bad desperate call on my end. So it’s been a month and half since NC stopped and since three weeks ago we ended up sleeping together a few times. What do I do? Cant invoke NC as we made big plans together with… Read more »
Anon
Guest
You may not remember me but to recap – he broke up with me after losing feelings and wanted to find himself blah blah. Did not see a future together with me anymore. He talks about it now like I was holding him back or that he is open to more opportunities now. He thinks break up doing us both good. He saw some of my new changes but I know didn’t do enough during NC. Still continuing on to be best version of myself. For myself. I know he is enjoying his life not with me. Said sometimes misses… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

well, if you know that you’re always going to sleep with him again. Then no nc can help that.. you have to decide to stop doing that first and to stick with it.

Anon
Guest

Yes, so I’m not going to do it again. So should I start of with the texting plan again?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

yeah, try that first..if he keeps insisting being sexual, start nc..

Anon
Guest

Hi Amor,

So the ex was talking to one of our closest guy friends. This friend found out we were talking again and that we had slept together. He warned the ex that I might be trying to get him back and so when my ex asked I denied it. My ex is on the look out now though. Should I start NC?
Ex is actually super happy with his life at the moment and I feel like this friend thinks he is better without me which hurts. How do I make him want me emotionally not just physically?

🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just keep building rapport while not sleeping with him

Bell
Guest

Long story short:

> Dated 5 yeas
> Broke up
> 30 days NC
> Improved myself/Social Media active
> First contact
> More contact
> Met up
> More contact
> Met up more often (He would hug me and kiss me, even telling he still liked me)
> Called to ask him what we are to each other
> Told me he doesn’t want relationship ‘YET’ (That’s his keyword, he uses it all the time)

> Thinking about doing a 60 day NC, is that a good idea?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just do 45 days

Bell
Guest

Long story short:

> Dated 5 yeas
> Broke up
> 30 days NC
> Improved myself/Social Media active
> First contact
> More contact
> Met up
> More contact
> Met up more often (He would hug me and kiss me, even telling he still liked me)
> Called to ask him what we are to each other
> Told me he doesn’t want relationship ‘YET’ (That’s his keyword, he uses it all the time)

> Thinking about doing a 60 day NC, is that a good idea?

EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

just do 45 days

Karen
Guest
Hi amor My boyfriend dumped me a few months back due to me being overly clingy and emotional I did nc and contacted him, he responded with one word answer and I sent him angry texts out of spite He immediately did a full out block Currently on NC before I contact him with another number that he doesn’t know However I heard through a mutual friend that his grandmother has just passed away.. Should i send him condolences text message? I feel like it’s the right thing to do, but will he get shocked that I go as far… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

not really since it’sba condolence text..

Karen
Guest
Hi amor My boyfriend dumped me a few months back due to me being overly clingy and emotional I did nc and contacted him, he responded with one word answer and I sent him angry texts out of spite He immediately did a full out block Currently on NC before I contact him with another number that he doesn’t know However I heard through a mutual friend that his grandmother has just passed away.. Should i send him condolences text message? I feel like it’s the right thing to do, but will he get shocked that I go as far… Read more »
EBR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EBR Team Member: Amor

not really since it’sba condolence text..