What Is The Fastest Way To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

Women who often come to Ex Boyfriend Recovery want results as fast as humanly possible.

Results = Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back

And in today’s day and age it makes sense.

We live in a society where all you have to do when you have a question about something is to whip out your phone, type a search into Google and BAM there is your answer.

Now, the interesting thing about this is that when it comes to finding the quickest way for getting your ex boyfriend back I have always been in the camp that this isn’t something you can rush.

In fact, I have found a correlation between going to fast in getting an ex back and a high rate of failure.

High Rate Of Failure = Not Getting Your Ex Back

Nevertheless, I want you to know that I understand your pain more than any expert out there.

I understand that right now you don’t give a flying f*ck if you take the patient path.

You want results…

And you want them fast…

And that’s why I put together this article.

I want to show you the fastest way that you can get a successful result.

Will this be a magic phrase that you can say to your boyfriend to make him have a sudden epiphany?

No, I am not into that.

As I am sure you know, “magic phrases” don’t work.

What works is… Well, I am about to show you.

I Am Going To Coach You… For FREE!

And that’s where I come in!

Secret 4 Step Training

What if I were to tell you that I have put together an “On Demand Coaching Class” where I am going to coach you for free?

All you need to do if you want to join my FREE coaching class is click the green button below,

Yes, I Want You To Coach MeSign Up For Free On Demand Coaching

I thought would be kind of cool to show you some of the actual results women have gotten through my “On Demand Coaching,”

Oh, and if you were wondering “Jennifer Christina” is my wife 😉 .

This is another Facebook testimonial from someone who is on the Private Facebook Group.

I’ve got about 300 more Facebook testimonials just like this.

If you are interested in joining my Free On Demand Coaching please click the link below,

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How Fast Can You Expect To See A Result With The Method I Am About To Teach You

I am going to get a little “business like” for a moment here.

One of the interesting things I have learned about the visitors of this website is that there is typically a 90 day window in which they are interested in getting their exes back. After that 90 day window they aren’t that interested anymore.

Now, you may be sitting back and wondering,

How the heck did he figure this out?

Simple, this website ultimately started out as a place where I wanted to help people. However, in order to do that the best that I could I had to start hiring people.

  • I had to hire a designer…
  • A customer service rep…
  • Someone to help me answer comments…
  • A writer to produce more content for you…

All of this stuff costs money.

Hence, my passion project turned into a nice little business which I monetize with this book.

Now, every business wants to find the best way to maximize profits and I am no different.

Luckily for you, I have found the best way to maximize profits is to product killer content that helps you.

Of course, in my research I also noticed that hardly anyone ever buys after 90 days.

Hence, I came to the realization that after about 90 days people lose interest in their ex for one of two reasons,

  1. They failed to get their ex back
  2. They actually got their ex back

So, what does this knowledge teach us about situations in general.

Three months seems to be the cutoff point for how long it should take to get an ex boyfriend back.

I am sure there will always be outliers that will skew the data but for the most part this is the average we are going to use going forward.

Now, you came here because you want to get your ex boyfriend back as fast as humanly possible.

And I have already established that this isn’t something you can rush if you want to see positive result.

But let’s look at this in another way.

If you were to take the overall strategy that I teach women,

screen-shot-2016-10-31-at-1-21-42-pm

What would you do to tweak it in a way so that you speed it up significantly while at the same time retaining it’s effectiveness.

(Oh, and if you have no clue on what the graphic above means don’t worry, I will explain it all to you later.)

Hmm… that is one hell of a question.

Well, I think the smart thing to do before we start tweaking things is give each one of the components in the picture above a certain time allowance.

Basically, taking each component and explaining how long it will take to complete.

Let’s do that now,

screen-shot-2016-10-31-at-1-21-42-pm

For the sake of this article lets assume that you max out all the days that I have listed above.

If you do that then using the method I normally teach it should take you around 87 days to get your ex boyfriend back.

(Keep in mind that these are estimates and that everyone has a unique situation that may take them shorter or in some cases longer.)

Now, here is the good news.

We can definitely significantly shorten this method up.

In fact, the more I eyeball this the more I think that technically you can get your ex boyfriend back in 38 days without losing too much of the effectiveness of the method that I teach.

And that’s what I plan to show you to do by utilizing this schedule,

screen-shot-2016-10-31-at-1-21-42-pm

Again, if you are confused by this don’t worry, I will be going in detail for you later on.

Now, before we get started there is one thing that I want to discuss with you.

Disclaimer- Faster Isn’t Always Better

Essentially what I am trying to do with this article is merge two opposing ideals.

Generally speaking trying to get an ex back quickly doesn’t yield the best results. In fact, you will find that every strategy you try will be a little less effective the more that it’s rushed.

And yet here you are.

I mean, “how to get your ex boyfriend back fast” is one of the most popular searches in Google.

Which means that I have to find a way to merge these two opposing ideals for you.

Ideal One: Getting An Ex Back Fast

Ideal Two: A Strategy That Is Effective

And I think I have done it.

Seriously, I am not one to bullshi* you.

And I am about to prove that fact as I tell you this next statement.

The strategy that I am about to present to you is not the most effective strategy for getting your ex boyfriend back.

In fact, I would say that sometimes having a bit of patience and seeing things through the right way (aka the slow way) will yield better results.

I felt it would be wrong of me to explain this fast strategy to you without first explaining that.

Now, if you are interested in the full strategy then I suggest you check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

That epic read has pretty much everything you want out of a “get your ex back” book.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way let’s begin with the “fast strategy.”

Fast Strategy Part One: The No Contact Rule

For those of you who aren’t paying attention that is this part of the strategy,

screen-shot-2016-10-31-at-1-21-42-pm-2

Now, you may notice that the no contact rule has a timeframe of 21 days.

Some of you may see that and be shaking your heads.

After all, the name of the game here is to get your ex boyfriend back fast, right?

Ya, about that…

Out of this entire “fast strategy” the no contact rule is the one component that is non negotiable.

In our independent research using women just like you we have found that the no contact rule has been present in over 70% of successes. Ironically, the most non negotiable component of the strategy also takes the longest. But it’s important to remember that this is by design.

Now, some of you may be sitting back and wondering,

“What is the Gatsby Method and The Holy Trinity there on the no contact rule graphic above?”

Well, those are very important concepts that you are going to utilize while you are in the midst of a no contact period.

Unfortunately, I am going to keep those a secret from you.

I have to keep something for my paying customers 😉 .

But don’t worry I’m not going to leave you crying in the rain on my doorstep,

crying

Allow me give you a quick overview of what the no contact rule is.

The No Contact Rule- A period of time (21 days) where you are going to ignore your ex. If he reaches out to you then you ignore it. If you feel an urge to reach out to him then you don’t do it. This is radio silence and you better abide by it. Of course, there are certain conditions where you can alter the no contact rule (read about them here) but those are pretty rare in most cases.

Now, the no contact rule is one of those rules that I always get push back on so I am going to give you a brief synopsis of why it works.

Generally most experts out there will tell you that the no contact rule will increase the chances of your ex boyfriend missing you. However, what they won’t tell you is that they don’t understand WHY it increases your chances of making an ex miss you.

The no contact rule utilizes something called psychological reactance which basically states that when a human being has a fundamental freedom that they fell is being threatened they will react in a way to attempt to get that freedom back.

In other words, by removing the freedom that your ex has of talking to you, your ex is more likely to react in a way to get that freedom back.

But believe it or not I have found that this isn’t the most effective part of the no contact rule.

One thing you have to understand about breakups is that your body is literally going through similar withdrawal symptoms that a hardcore drug addict would go through.

Oftentimes trying to get an ex back when you aren’t at your best is not the smartest way to approach things.

And this is why I say the no contact rule time frame is non negotiable.

I need you to be the best version of yourself if you are going to have any type of chance of getting your ex boyfriend back and in order for you to accomplish that you need time.

Second, I need you to feel more confident with yourself.

If you read PRO, you will notice that I am very big on self improvement during the no contact rule.

Why?

It’s simple, I want you to be very confident by the time you are ready to talk to your ex boyfriend.

The Short Version Of What You Need To Do In This Step

  • I want you to do the no contact rule for 21 days.
  • I want you to really work on doing things to improve your life during this no contact period.

Fast Strategy Part Two: Texting

You will notice that the texting portion of the strategy is where things start getting sped up pretty significantly.

Usually the texting portion of the strategy will last 14 days.

However, since we are trying to get a positive result as soon as possible we are going to recommend that you only engage in the texting strategy for 7 days,

screen-shot-2016-11-02-at-12-57-06-pm

So, how is this going to work.

Well, I am really big on this idea of “tide theory.”

Tide Theory: Slowly but surely increasing the frequency and intensity of the text messages you send to your ex boyfriend.

But how should you properly implement this in just seven days?

Great question.

Now, before I map this all out for you I want to reiterate that I generally have a much less aggressive schedule for getting an ex boyfriend back. However, since the name of the game here is speed I have gone as aggressive as possible with this.

texting

What I’d like to do for you is take you through each texting day and give a brief explanation of what you are trying to accomplish.

Now, one thing I do want to say here is that I am not going to get overly technical with this.

I have created numerous texting guides and have even written an entire book. Instead, I am going to give you the big picture game plan.

In other words, it’s your job to fill in the blanks.

Day One: First Contact & Engaging In A Small Conversation

The important thing to remember here is that you just ignored your ex boyfriend for 21 days. It might be a little weird if you just texted him out of the blue with something like this,

screen-shot-2016-11-02-at-1-14-29-pm

Which is why I recommend sending a special type of text message immedately after the no contact rule.

I call this text message the “first contact text message.”

Now, I’ve talked a lot about this text here and here.

And after a lot of refining I have really identified the fact that first contact text messages really only require three things to be successful.

  1. Knowledge Of Your Exes Likes And Dislikes To Create A Theme
  2. A Story
  3. An Action Phrase

For example, I recently conducted a live coaching session with a woman who asked a very simple question,

“How do I handle the first interaction with my ex boyfriend after the no contact rule?”

And I walked her through this exact process. In fact, rather than reading it here it might be easier to watch the whole session to get an idea of how to construct a perfect first contact text message,

In fact, after our session had concluded she actually put her newly formed first contact text message into practice and got a pretty awesome result,

text-result

But what do you do after you send the first contact text message?

Well, generally I say to leave it at that.

In other words, end the conversation immediately. Of course, we are in a unique situation where we have to be a bit more aggressive.

So, in this case I want you to engage your ex in a conversation. Don’t go overboard with it. The idea is to just get him used to talking to you.

That’s it.

This isn’t meant to be an all day/all night conversation where you are trying to accomplish everything overnight.

Day 2: Build Rapport & Dive A Bit Deeper In Your Conversation

Rapport is something that you are going to hear me talk about a lot.

Rapport is defined as a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.

Without rapport no attraction can be built.

You see, a lot of people think attraction just falls out of the sky magically but if you really stop to think about it you aren’t going to be truly attracted to someone who you have no rapport with.

I’ll give you an example.

One of the worst dates that I have ever been on in my life was with a girl who I couldn’t seem to establish any rapport with.

I literally remember trying everything to get her to respond to what I was saying but there was simply no luck.

I would tell a joke and she wouldn’t laugh…

I would tell a story and she wouldn’t seem engaged…

No matter how hard I tried we just weren’t able to connect.

No rapport was built therefore no attraction was built.

I want you to think of rapport as a foundation for building attraction.

Hmm… Perhaps I should get visual with this,

screen-shot-2016-11-02-at-1-45-02-pm

Once rapport has been successfully built with your ex you can use that rapport to build attraction. And we all know that once enough attraction has been built your ex boyfriend will take actions to make things official with you again.

At least that’s what we hope happens 😉 .

But it all starts with rapport.

So, how do you build rapport?

Well, I dive into this a lot more with my Texting Bible book but here is the gist of what I want you to do, find your exes hot points and go to town on them.

I’ll use myself as an example here.

I am a huge fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer,

buffy

Every other year (usually around October for some strange reason) I re-watch every episode from start to finish in all it’s glory.

I know…

I know…

It’s kinda girly for a macho man like me but it’s a tradition that I hold strong to.

And it just so happens that this is the year that I am doing my great Buffy marathon.

(Yesterday I just hit season 3!)

Now, here is the thing.

No matter how hard I try to get my wife to watch it with me she won’t. She has preconceived notions about the show (which I will admit I used to have UNTIL I WATCHED IT.)

Anyways, let’s live in fantasy land for a while and say that my wife wanted to find a great way to build rapport with me.

Well, Buffy is one of those hot points that I will automatically open up to.

Plus there is that shock factor that she put in the time to actually watch Buffy if she were to send me a text message like this,

screen-shot-2016-11-02-at-2-03-04-pm

Human beings are wired to search for connections and since Buffy is one of my favorite shows this is something I could absolutely connect to.

In fact, I wish she would send me a text like that.

I feel like we would have an amazing conversation just based off of that.

Establish that connection, building rapport off of it… that’s what we are looking to do here.

Now, once you do start building rapport with your ex boyfriend I want you to keep the conversation going a little bit longer than you did when compared to day one of this process.

I hope you see what we are doing here.

Essentially every day we are getting deeper and deeper into texting conversation with your ex boyfriend.

Day 3: Break

“Break” simply means that you aren’t going to be texting your ex boyfriend on this day.

This is only for one day and it’s meant to break things up so he won’t catch on to the pattern of texting that we have established.

Of course, let’s play devils advocate here and pretend that you decide to do your break on day three but he texts you with something like this,

break text

Are you supposed to ignore it?

Absolutely not…

This isn’t the no contact rule.

Really the only reason I put day three as the “break” is if YOU are the on reaching out. If he reaches out then that’s great progress and you shouldn’t do anything to interrupt that progress.

Day 4: Build Rapport And Conversation Lasts Even Longer

This is simply a re-hash of day two.

Of course, the only main difference here is that you are going to try to extend the conversation even longer than you did on day two.

Again, this plays into this idea of slowly but surely increasing the intensity and frequency of the conversations.

Now, there isn’t too much “new stuff” I can add to make this day stand out.

Instead, the “new stuff” is going to come with day 5.

Day 5: Begin Subtle Flirting

Flirting through text messages is a little difficult as you don’t have some of the most powerful weapons at your disposal.

What do you think I mean by that?

Well, science has proven that one of the most effective ways to flirt is by not saying anything at all.

It’s by having the correct posture, making the right type of eye contact, working in gentle touches and so on and so forth. Of course, we are at the texting stage here so we can’t exactly do these kinds of things.

You do have something that will make his mind do most of the work.

Here’s what I mean by that.

One thing I know about men (because it’s true for me) is the fact that I am very visual.

Words are powerful, yes, but pictures are even more powerful to me.

I mean, I could attempt to explain the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen with in my life with words but do you think that will ever be as effective as showing this picture,

sunset

Well do you?

Of course not!

(FYI, that is a real picture I took above in Maui, Hawaii and is the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.)

The same principle applies over text messages.

I can sit here and tell you to,

“Send this exact text or say this exact thing.”

But it usually won’t evoke the kind of emotional impact that you are looking for when compared to sending a picture.

Of course, you know what is even better than a picture?

A video!

So, try this tactic on for size.

There was a study done in the 70’s where scientists found that when someone does a favor for you it makes them more likely to do a favor for you again.

This is interesting because common sense says says that if someone does you a favor then you are more likely to do them a favor in the future.

The opposite is true of course and we are going to use this to our advantage in a flirty way 😉 .

So, here is what I want you to do.

With your phone, I want you to record a quick 30 second video of yourself looking as sexy as you possibly can asking for a really simple favor from your ex boyfriend.

Here are a few great examples of favors I would recommend,

  • My internet is not working. Can you tell me what time (X) comes on?
  • Jennifer and I are having an argument over (X) can you settle it for us?
  • Can you tell me I am not crazy for loving (X)

We are doing this favor technique for a few reasons.

Firstly, if your ex boyfriend does the favor for you it will raise the chances that he will do another favor for you again.

Secondly, we are priming him to talk on the phone with you.

Even though you are sending him a video he will be hearing your voice and that is a good thing as you will find out in a few days.

Day 6: Slowly Ramp Up Flirting

Essentially you are going to do more of what you did on day five during day six. However, the big difference here is that you are going to do more of it.

Don’t go overboard but maybe you can make a few videos of yourself and send them your exes way.

Remember, men are visual.

Day 7: The Transition Text Message

Day 7 is all about “the transition text message.”

Now, if you are about ready to jump off a cliff in confusion let me stop you.

When I refer to “transition text message” all I am talking about is the text message that you send to your ex to get him to talk to you on the phone.

What if I told you that I had found a very clever way in which you can transition from text messages to phone calls.

Would that be something you would be interested in?

Of course it would.

So, here is what you are going to do.

transition-template

And in case you caught a sudden case of the “can’t reads.”

The template above needs to be strictly followed if you want to pull off a successful transition.

Step One: Start Texting Your Ex A Story

Step Two: Interrupt The Story

Step Three: Ask For Transition

Here is how that is supposed to look.

Let’s say that you started a story by texting your ex something like this,

screen-shot-2016-11-08-at-10-41-18-am

To which your ex responds,

screen-shot-2016-11-08-at-10-42-32-am

It’s at this point that I want you to interrupt the story and ask for a transition. That looks like this,

screen-shot-2016-11-08-at-10-44-55-am

Do you see how it works?

Now, the only downside of this method is that you need to have one hell of a story to tell your ex when you get on the phone with him.

Fast Strategy Part Three: Talking On The Phone

This is where I think your biggest disadvantage is for rushing the process.

Why?

Well, you only have three days left to convince your ex boyfriend to see you in person. Of course, we aren’t going to ask him to see you in person just yet. However, everyone knows attraction has to be built before you go on the date with your ex for this to even work.

Three days isn’t a lot of time.

Luckily, you have my brain working overtime for you here.

Here is the template I want you to follow for these three days,

june-2016-calendar-printable

Why do you think I am putting such an emphasis on time?

Well, if you are an avid reader of my website then you would know that I am a big believer in something called the interdependence theory. Essentially this theory explains why human beings commit to one another based on three main factors.

Satisfaction (Meaning they will commit if the person satisfies them)

 

Alternatives (Meaning they think they think that you are the best and there is no one out there better.)

 

Investment (Meaning they have dedicated a lot of resources to the relationship, time, money, etc.)

Which of these three components do you think we are attacking with phone calls?

Well, with text messaging we were attacking satisfaction and alternatives by building rapport and attraction.

Phone calls is all about investment.

Right now the more time that you can get your ex to invest with you the better.

That’s why each day aims to make him stay on the phone longer.

Of course, if you really have things firing on all cylinders you will also satisfy the other components. However, investment of time over the phone is the number one predictor on getting a yes on the date but more on that in a second.

Let’s take this day by day.

Day 7: Transition Call 25 to 35 Minutes

We are picking up right where we left off.

Remember the transition text into the phone call?

Well, I want that phone call to last anywhere from 25 to 35 minutes.

Why so short?

Well, in addition to being a big believer of the interdependence theory I am also a big believer in the zeigarnik effect.

What’s that?

Oh, I am so glad you asked.

The Zeigarnik Effect of ZE (for short) basically states that human beings remember interrupted or incomplete tasks better than completed ones.

In other words, the more you can hook your ex boyfriend into a phone conversation with you and then abruptly end it the more he will crave to talk to you again.

It’s the same thing as creating an open loop or an unanswered question.

Except we are doing it on a much smaller scale.

So, just to give you a visual this is what you are looking to do,

ze-graph

Again, you are abruptly ending the conversation between the 25 minute and 35 minute mark.

Day 8: Phone Call That Lasts An Hour

The name of the game is to get your ex boyfriend to invest as much time as possible with you over the phone.

If you can get him to do that then you are in a really good spot for getting him to commit to you.

Of course, just because this section is entitled “phone calls” doesn’t mean that we are going to throw texting out the window completely. I still want you to build rapport and attraction.

After all, the more your ex texts you the more time he is investing in you and that is a good thing.

But in addition to all of the texting I want you to hop on the phone with him again.

Except instead of hopping on the phone for 25 to 35 minutes with your ex boyfriend I want you to make the phone call last an hour.

Now, if you are sitting there wondering why there is such a big time difference here I would like to remind you that with my normal strategy I would like to have a few more conversations on the phone around 25 to 35 minutes to really hit that zeigarnik effect home.

Of course, we are strapped for time since we are looking at the fastest method possible.

So, stay on the phone for an hour with your ex.

Day 9: Phone Call That Lasts An Hour And A Half

In addition to getting him to invest more time with you (30 more minutes as compared to yesterday) you are going to have another goal in mind here.

Dating.

Generally speaking, you can’t get your ex boyfriend back if you don’t see him in person. Of course, we have the typical gender roles to contend with here.

It’s easy for men.

Men just have to ask a woman out.

But it’s unheard of for a woman to ask a man out?

Actually… that’s not entirely true.

Women drop hints.

Hints that they hope a man will pick up on his own.

And usually that is enough to get him to ask you out. Unfortunately, one of the disadvantages of speeding this process up is the fact that you don’t have time to wait around for him to pick up the hints.

That’s why I am going to recommend something unheard of.

I want YOU to suggest a date.

I know…

I know…

You are going to have to take a moment to let that sink in.

….

So, while you are taking a moment I would like to tell you a story.

Many of you may not know this but before Jennifer and I got married we were in a long distance relationship. Of course, before that we were just two strangers talking over Facebook and then eventually over the phone.

Of course, when we both took a liking to each other which of us do you think asked to see the other first?

She did actually.

Now, your woman logic makes you think that, that is too strong of a move. However, I found it to be incredibly hot. I liked that I found a woman who wanted to take charge.

It also took the pressure off of me.

Now, I am not saying that you ask your ex out on a date. I am simply saying that you suggest a date to him.

Of course, in order to know what date to suggest we have to jump a little ahead and talk about the dating section.

Generally I am a big fan of women going on three dates with their ex before a commitment is made in a relationship,

  1. A Small Date
  2. A Medium Date
  3. A Romantic Date

Of course, we aren’t in the business of being politically correct here since we are trying to speed this process up which is why I am only going to recommend that you go on two dates with your ex,

  1. The Small One
  2. The Romantic One

In other words, all you have to worry about right now is suggesting the small date.

I am going to suggest a cup of coffee.

So, at some point during your one and a half hour conversation with your ex I want you to suggest getting a cup of coffee and plan a date if he accepts.

Once you have done that we can get to the fun stuff.

Fast Strategy Part Four: The Two Dates

I am going to switch gears a little bit here.

I have already discussed the idea behind going on two dates instead of three.

But how do you act on these dates?

If the idea is finding a way to make your ex boyfriend fall in love with you how do you do that?

Great question!

Luckily, I have an answer for you,

Utilize scientific insights to get him to fall for you again.

Believe it or not but when scientists studied what makes human beings fall in love they found some really interesting discoveries,

  • Similarity Is Important
  • Reciprocal Affection
  • Physical And Emotional Arousal
  • Readiness For A Romantic Relationship

Let’s take a deeper look at these discoveries.

Similarity Is Important

Opposites attract, right?

WRONG!

Research suggests the opposite. And it makes sense. I can’t tell you how often I have muttered the phrase,

“Human beings are wired for connections.”

And part of connecting with someone is finding out the areas where you are similar.

I am much more likely to open up to someone who is a fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer because I have a huge connection to that show.

So, how does this apply to your dates with your ex?

Well, I want you to emphasize your similarities.

If you both love golf then talk a bit about golf.

If you both love politics then talk about that.

Similarities rule!

Reciprocal Affection

This one is easy to understand.

Someone is more likely to fall in love with you if they feel loved back.

Part of the problem that my clients have is that the no contact rule (assuming they did it correctly) has taught them to not show affection. However, the opposite is true on the date.

You need to show affection towards your ex.

Look, don’t go overboard just give him signs that you are interested.

Touching is great for this.

A slight touch of the hand…

Making a hug last a bit longer than normal…

All of these are excellent examples.

Physical And Emotional Arousal

This is really interesting.

And arguably the most important concept to hit on.

Any type of situation that affects us emotionally is more likely to make us fall in love.

Weird, right?

Take this famous study done by Dan Ariely,

“We did this one funny study on music,” Ariely says. The study compared how attractive audience members rated musicians before they started playing compared with at intermission.

And what we found was that everybody got a big boost, aside from the drummer.” (Drummers did get some boost in their attractiveness ratings, but not as much as the rest of the band members.)

Why does this happen? Ariely thinks it might have something to do with “misattribution of emotions”: “Sometimes we have an emotion and we don’t know where it’s coming from, so we kind of stick it on something that seems sensible.” In other words, your strong feelings about the music might make you think you’re having strong feelings about the lead singer.

In other words, if you put your ex in a situation where he feels something positive he could stick that emotion on to you.

This concept can actually apply to something as simple as television shows.

If you couldn’t already tell I am a huge Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan.

No, fan doesn’t quite explain it. I am what you would call a super fan!

If you didn’t already know Buffy has 7 seasons.

Now, each and every season has it’s moments.

However, after watching every episode multiple times (believe me I have done it.)

It’s clear that some seasons are better than others.

Of course, do you want to know which seasons rank the highest in my humble opinion?

It’s always those seasons where something happens that affects me on a deep emotional level. Without a doubt the seasons where that happens multiple times are the best.

(Hint Hint: Season one is not one of those types of seasons.)

Anyways, the point I am trying to make here is that if you can arouse your ex in a positive physical or emotional way then you are going to be in a good spot.

Readiness For A Romantic Relationship

Is your ex ready for a romantic relationship again?

Well, if you followed my plan above then he should be.

Mic Drop,

mic-drop

February 1, 2017

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (195)

  1. Annyce - 0

    Annyce

    On Thu, 16 Feb 2017 at 16:30, annyce shu yi yap wrote:

    Hi Chris,

    I’ll give you some background first. Me and my ex boyfriend met at a debate conference (which happens monthly) last November and he was the one who started things. He was a total gentleman and sweetheart and waited outside my council room, bought me lunch, held my hand when we crossed the road, carried my bags, pushed me out of the way of a car that nearly ran me over, took photobooth pictures with me, kept his arm around me throughout the entire 3 day conference. He looks at me with this spark in his eyes and everytime he smiles at me he sends these chills throughout my body, and his touch gives me little fireworks on my skin. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s the best feeling on this earth, and when he hugs me it’s like I’ll forever be safe and protected and warm in his arms. He got admitted to the hospital a few weeks ago for tuberculosis-turned-influenza b, and when I found out I was so scared I was going to lose him I felt like I had a cardiac arrest. I visited him with his best friend, and it was a little awkward because he was third wheeling. It was even cheesy because the nurse came in to check up on his heart rate and all, and he was doing the thing where he stared at me with that look in his eyes and smiling at me and (I’m not even lying. I don’t know how this happened.) his heart rate was beating faster than usual and he joked that it was because I was there.

    It was all great until he (boyfriend of 3 months) broke up with me two weeks ago (2/2/17 to be exact)- the surface reason we broke up was because his mom is forcing him into an arranged marriage and she’s found a fiancée for him (his third cousin who is of royal descent or something) and he says his mom wants him to date his fiancee and treat her like she’s the only girl in the world and he doesn’t want me to see that because it’ll break my heart. He says he can’t go against this arranged marriage thing or else he’ll get disowned, and he can’t talk to his mom about it and his dad is out of the picture (his parents are divorced and his dad recently came back with another wife and daughter).

    I found out about this whole arranged marriage thing from a guy friend of mine who confronted my ex boyfriend about setting me aside the past few weeks. It’s true, because my ex boyfriend is always busy in school and with all these clubs and cricket games and meetings and tuition classes, so we always talk by texting each other everyday, and we only see each other once every month because we go to this monthly debate conference thing. I overreacted a few days before he broke up with me, because I texted him and he didn’t reply but I saw on his instagram that he had gone out to play golf. I ranted to my guy friend while I was drunk and angry and didn’t even realise how angry I was. The next day I found out my guy friend had screenshotted my entire angry rant (where I called my ex boyfriend all sorts of names like a prick, asshole, etc) and sent it to my ex boyfriend and my ex boyfriend sent me paragraphs on text, apologising for setting me aside and telling me he honestly had no excuse and that he values the time we spend communicating with each other and that he values everything I am, and he went out to play golf because his dad brought him there and he rarely gets to see him and needs to impress him. He apologised and I read it but didn’t reply for a few days, thinking I’d let him feel guilty dor a little longer because it wasn’t the first time he did this. Then three days after I didn’t reply, he sends me the message ‘Annyce, if you hate me so much till this point why don’t we break up? I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already am and I hate seeing you feel this way. We can still be friends right?’ so I panicked and replied straight away and told him I didn’t hate him etc and told him about my family problems and my abusive dad and that things were going rough the past few days at home which is why I’ve been distancing myself from him (which is the truth). He said that he would always listen to what I had to say and he would never judge me or look at me differently just because I had an abusive father. I told him I knew about his arranged marriage thing and at that point things start to go downhill. He tells me all about his mom and the fact that he has to date his fiancee but he doesn’t know when he has to start, so I tell him that we should enjoy every last moment we have together and use it as a chance to create the best memories to remember us by. He ends it there, saying we shouldn’t continue it because it would only hurt the both of us more, that continuing it would only make each other feel worse. He said that being in love as a distraction to our problems is hurtful and it’s best for the both of us if we end it now. He said that he would always care for me till the day he doesn’t remember, and ‘farewell darling, I love you.’ He said he hopes I find a man who will love me wholeheartedly, and he’s sorry he couldn’t be that guy, and he’s sorry for dragging me into this.

    I cried my eyes out that night and I didn’t sleep for four nights straight and I didn’t eat without throwing up. I love him so much and I didn’t understand why we couldn’t just continue this until he has to date his fiancee, because not all couples have a chance to spend their last times together like we have. I guess he thought I wanted forever with him because he said that ‘with this arranged marriage, our breakup is inevitable’ but the thing is I knew we’d have to break up eventually from the start, because I have to go to the UK next September for A levels and I know long distance is a hard thing to work out, and I didn’t want to force him to try it. But I didn’t tell him that.

    I also found out a few days after we broke up from his best friend that my guy friend (who messaged my ex boyfriend the screenshots) made him feel like he was hurting me by not giving me enough attention, and that I hate him. The best friend also told me that the second biggest reason for our breakup was my guy friend as he also made my ex boyfriend jealous because while he was telling him about my overreacting he would be thinking ‘why is this guy telling me things about my girlfriend?’ and he thought my guy friend liked me, so a few days before he broke up with me he got super jealous and went on all his whatsapp chat groups and told his friends they were going to need to hunt my guy friend down and send him to the critical stage of the hospital because he likes me.

    This all happened only three days before the breakup so it doesn’t make sense to me- why would he get so jealous and react like that, why would he send me a video of himself shirtless and doing homework, why would he tell me he loves me and call me darling and all and just end things so suddenly like that? It didn’t make sense.

    I checked up on his instagram once, two days after we broke up and he was laughing and smiling with his friends and it seemed like everything is okay. I was hurt, and I told his best friend but he said I shouldn’t judge how he’s feeling from his instagram, because he isn’t the type of guy to show his feelings to the world (he used to be in military school for a long time, so I can guess he’s been trained with the whole ‘manly men shouldn’t be hurt and shouldn’t show their true feelings and should always be tough’ thing.) and he’s as hurt as I am about breaking up. His best friend said the two biggest reasons why he ended things was because 1)of my guy friend and because 2) he thinks I hate him and that he’s hurting me by being with me.

    There are so many misunderstandings and I want to clear things up, and I’m wondering what would’ve happened if all these misunderstandings hadn’t happened. I’m thinking about writing him a letter and passing it to his best friend this weekend to pass to him. In the letter I plan to clear up things and tell him I don’t hate him, that he wasn’t hurting me and that he’s wrong about the breakup because ending things with me now isn’t lessening any pain, and that since we both have a time limit why don’t we just enjoy the time we have with each other instead of alone? And because we love each other so much and because we planned to do all sorts of stuff together but never got to do it- why should we throw away all of that and everything special we shared into the drain that easily? I want to apologised for my behaviour and for being selfish and thinking of my feelings instead of his, and I want us to get back together and enjoy our last moments together. And I want to tell him, what are the odds that him and I from different schools, amongst so many people in this country and billions of people on this earth fell in love with each other and nobody else? That it’s so rare to find something special like we have, and to throw it away like that without trying or enjoying it fully is such a waste. I want to tell him that there isn’t a relationship that doesn’t hurt when it ends, and that he can’t assume how I wouldn’t be hurt if he left me now- because I knew when I fell for him, when I chose to be with him, that all this pain would be inevitable. I knew we’d have to break up before I left for UK, and I signed up for all this hurt and pain nonetheless because I decided that every second spent with him is worth it. I want to apologise for my guy friend getting involved and accusing him of all those things and making him think I hate him. I want to ask him to let us enjoy our last moments together while we can, because other couples have it worse- one side cheats or one side doesn’t love the other, and we’re so lucky we have the chance to spend our last times togetherness and suggest that if he has to date his fiancee now he can ask his mom to delay dating his fiancee till he’s done with his studies so he can focus better.

    I want to do all of that but that would mean breaking the no contact rule (I’ve been on no contact for 2 weeks now) and I don’t know if it’s the best way to get him back. I’ll be seeing him next month for a debate conference. I would talk to him then but I’m scared it’ll be too late. I also messaged his sister who’s currently in the UK studying Medicine about his arranged marriage and told her how he feels about it (that he doesn’t want it, disagrees with it but can’t say anything bc he’ll get disowned) and hoped she could talk to her mom about it. She said she didn’t know about this arranged marriage and that he could either be pulling a huge joke or that her family hasn’t been telling her anything. (which I think is more likely, since she’s been away in the UK) and although I apologised for getting involved in their family business she called me a busybody (I don'( blame her) and said that she’s offended that ‘I could even fathom the idea that she isn’t doing anything about this’ so I don’t know what’s happening now. Please help me, I really want to get him back, I love him so much. I’ve thought about it and I know I love him and I miss HIM, not just the relationship.

    Before me, he used to be a player kind of guy and had a different girl every week. He told me he dated two of them at the same time, and they were rebounds from his first serious ex girlfriend. With me, well, things were different, and it’s one of the reasons why I fell for him- it was a side that nobody saw. Everyone, including his best friend, warned me and told me he was a player and he wouldn’t stick around but he proved them wrong and he stuck with me,until this arranged marriage fiasco. Even his best friend admits he never expected him to love me as much as he does now.

    I don’t know what his sister is doing now, but I know he doesn’t have to start dating his fiancee yet so we still have time, and I really want us to spend our last times together to the fullest because I know both of us were happy and built amazing rapport with each other. But I also know what went wrong in our relationship- we never made enough time for each other, we kept things from each other (he didn’t tell me about his arranged marriage thing, I didn’t tell him about my family problems), and I was selfish. I cared about my feelings and was so scared of hurting myself that I withdrew and held back from giving him the emotional support he needed. I knew how fragile he is internally but I put my needs before his. I didn’t think of how I was making him feel by distancing myself and holding back my affection because I was scared of giving too much and receiving too little. I know that there were a lot of mistakes in our relationship and I know it’s not entirely his fault, because it takes two to make a relationship. And I want the chance to make things right again, to enjoy fully this special connection we have together. I love him so much, and I know he loves me too. I just don’t know what to do now.

    He hasn’t contacted me and I haven’t contacted him for two weeks. According to his best friend, he’s been really busy with cricket tournaments and his school duties and conference organising meetings these past few days (he’s the head of prefects, head of discipline and secretary general of his school’s debate conference).

    What should I do? And what can I do to get him back quickly so we have more time together? Will we get back together if I can clear up the misunderstandings and talk things out about our relationship?

    Thank you for reading all of this and for your time, I really hope and pray you reply asap!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Annyce,

      I just want to make this clear, you want to date until only at the time that he will be dating his fiancee?

  2. Samantha - 0

    Samantha

    Hi Amor,

    My boyfriend just broke up with me on Saturday after us dating for 9 months. He broke up with me because each time he took hours to reply to my messages or pushed our plans to another day I started an argument. I accepted the fact that I ruined it with me neediness. I had two ex-boyfriends who were emotionally abusive so now I let that ruin the best relationship I’ve had. Four hours after the break-up and him saying that we do not have a chance to get back together he wrote me. He said that he regretted the decision and needed time to think rationally about it. I still have a bit of hope but I think in the end he will say no… I’m so sad because we were really great aside from the fact that I was so needy. Is it possible that I can get him back or did my clinginess end it?

    Reply
  3. Tanya Smith - 0

    Tanya Smith

    Hi there,

    I just wanted to get some advice on my situation with my ex. I messed up on the no contact rule and there has been on and off contact and even sex after the break up. We have spoken on and off but he mostly ignores me and when we do speak he gets frustrated and angry a lot. He was using a lot of passive aggressive actions online to try and get me jealous and even admitted at one stage to feeling hurt and wanting to get revenge. The last time we spoke he said that he is still attracted to me physically and cares about me deeply but does not want a relationship with anyone. I feel that he is scarred from relationships due to our break up. He left our relationship because he felt rejected and that i was not into him as much as he was which is not true but the damage and confidence was already bruised.

    We broke up 3 months ago but this was met with a lot of push and pull and conflicting from him which confused me a lot. He still sounds conflicted and i have noticed his interaction with other females has increased. Although he tells me he is not with anyone and just wants to focus 100% on work, i have my suspicion he maybe sleeping with someone.

    I wanted to get some advice how to improve this situation as i am worried because i have made so many mistakes already maybe i have ruined my chances.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Tanya,

      if you keep doing what you’re doing, you keep getting what you’re getting.. if you’re going to do the no contact rule again..stick to it and change genuinely

  4. A - 0

    A

    It has been almost 3 months since my ex boyfriend decided to break up with me. I did implement the NC rule which did work as I received many messages, phone calls, and even him showing up to my house. My NC rule lasted for about one month. Since the break up, we have hung out, stayed the night with each other, spent the holidays together, hooked up, said “I love yous”, held hands, pretty much so everything that two people that are in a relationship would do. I had “the talk” with him about a week ago and he told me that while he still has feelings for me, still loves me, and wants me, he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. I asked him why he didn’t and all he could respond with was he just doesn’t want one. He hasn’t posted anything on social of us, no statuses, no photos, won’t friend request me on FB, and neither will he follow me on IG. The only logical explanation I have is that he is trying to keep his options open. Should I keep waiting and hoping that things will change or is it time that I move on and cut my losses?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi A,

      Move on A. If you stay after he said that, that means it’s ok for you for him not to commit.

  5. Therese Lopez - 0

    Therese Lopez

    Hi Amor,

    4 months have passed by since I first shared my story here on exboyfriendrecovery site. For info, I undergone a “45 days no contact rule” with my ex, we started talking again and progress thru texting for 2-3 weeks and just recently we shifted to phone calls. We usually talk for about an hour or two if we do have time since were also busy with work. Honestly I’m the one who made the first move changing text thru calls, I told him I badly need a speaking partner for my IELTS exam and he was kind enough to help me. So mainly for the past 2 weeks of having a phone conversation, we only discussed about work and how I should pass the test. Literally, we never talk about our previous relationship but the other day he made a weird call, basically this is the first time we talk about how our lives has been for the past months and I told him I’ve been doing great – I engaged myself to the gym with some friends, I told him how happy my life was looking back. I asked how is he doing as well, he told me he is still on the hunt of getting hired, he told me he spent his entire time at home gaining skills and knowledge to finally nail an upcoming interview but he failed to do so. He also made a revelation dropping a bomb, He ask me if I still remember the girl I always overly get jealous with. I told him “who?”, he answered “that girl”, I replied “yes, so what about this girl?”. He told me everything that all the accusations and gut feeling I felt towards them are all accurate. He just felt really bad confronting me about it before because of the untimely situation. I inquire if they’re already together but he told me he don’t know because they don’t have a label yet. I asked him, if they said I love you to each other but he never respond, I told him “well just tell her I’m sorry for all the stupid things I did to her in the past. Tell her I totally regret what I did, sending her that nasty messages before I was just overwhelmed with my emotions” (Btw this new girl is also living in the same country in where I live, so basically they’re also in LDR just like us before). I ask him if the girl knows he’s helping me, he said yes. So I was like okay – I tried my best to keep it cool, he even told me he can’t wait to talk more interesting things about us like “who we dates” and It felt really awkward that very moment. Sincerely, I just realized that my feelings towards him is still there and I hunch as I experience the pain again. He said he was going to call back but I was the one who ended the call first and I don’t have any plans to start a conversation with him just yet. Surprisingly last night, he gave me a call. He sounded really down and was asking an agreement from me, he told me he’s going to help me leave the country in one condition, to tell him how it feels like living here. I ask him why all of a sudden with this question, he told me he was suspecting something with the girl’s intention towards him, I ask him if did they had a fight, he told me no. So I was like as a friend I’ll be there willing to listen to all his problems and interact with him very well. Before the call ended, he told me seriously to think about the deal, I said I’ll reflect about it first. He sent me a message after the call discontinued but I didn’t bother to read it, only after 3 days, I made a response sending him my Christmas greetings reassuring I’ll also be with him ready to assist him if he has problems, feeling down or need my advice. After I sent the message he immediately called me and I gladly pick up telling him “Yes I’ll accept the deal”. We had a very nice and short conversation that time and as usual he initiate to put down the call, I ended the call first. As of this moment I stalked his new girl’s Facebook account, I found out they’re not friends anymore. Is this a good sign Amor? What should I do?

    Thanks Amor I’ll be pleased if you’ll make a reply. Happy Holidays!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Therese,

      for me that was right because you took the high road, butI think you should focus more on taking about other things next time.. it’s ok to talk about who dates who sometimes but when
      you’re building attraction, you don’t talk about that often

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