By Chris Seiter

Updated on May 24th, 2021

Lately I have been doing a lot of “Facebook Lives” where I let my private Facebook group ask me anything they want.

It’s kind of crazy.

In just a span of 30 minutes over 68 questions came in asking me all sorts of things.

Don’t believe me?

Well, here’s proof,

Oh, and in case you were wondering my wife helps me go through the comments to make sure everyone gets answered (she has the comments pictured above.)

Anyways, as I was answering the viewers comments I realized something pretty interesting.

Each of the questions had a common thread connecting them.

Care to guess at what that common thread was?

Every woman was wondering why her ex boyfriend was acting the way he was acting.

Crazy, right?

And that’s when I realized something.

For about a month I have been holding something back from you.

A live coaching session where a woman named Stella is wondering the exact same thing that the people on my Facebook Live were wondering,

“Why the hell is he acting this way?”

Out of all the people I have ever interviewed I have to say Stella has one of the trickiest situations.

But First… A Question

What would you do if you had a sister who your ex was falling for?

Would you be mad at him?

Ok, now what would you do if your sister reciprocated your exes feelings?

Well, without further ado I give you Stella!

Interview Transcript

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46 thoughts on “Breaking Down Your Ex Boyfriends Behavior After The Breakup (Live Coaching Session)”

  1. Kim

    September 27, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    I am at the point of trying to decide whether or not I should continue
    to try or just block my ex. We were together for almost two years. We
    were engaged and I moved to DC to be with him. The biggest issue with
    our relationship was that we fought, a lot. I will admit I definitely
    was going through some personal struggles and he is military so I also
    struggled with that. We met and later on that year he was sent to
    texas for training. Not knowing where he would be sent after this just
    drove me crazy. Because of this I could not handle everything going on
    at that point in my life. I will admit that I drove him away and once
    we both were able to get to DC to finally live together we were so
    toxic by that point. After two months in DC he ended the relationship.
    I was devastated.I chose to get a job back in San Diego which is where
    we met since my sisters still live here. I have started to date again
    but am really struggling. We broke up May 24th, 2017. I moved from DC
    back to SD August 2nd. I heard from him August 2nd and August 7th. I
    only answered with one sentence. I did not hear from him until
    September 3rd. He wrote me a long letter and basically still blames me
    for our downfall in our relationship. But at the end he talks about
    still thinking about me and wanting to be with me. I did not respond
    to this letter for three weeks. So all in all i did not talk to him
    for over a month. I finally broke the silence this past Friday the
    22nd of September. i apologized to him for how I hurt him and also
    said I will not take full blame. This still did not sit with me. I
    knew there was more I had to apologize for. I sent him another letter
    and text to apologize. I did not expect to hear from him. I needed to
    be able to forgive myself for the pain I caused him. He responded to
    me on Monday the 25th. We spoke on the phone and he talked about
    dating other women and his career. he then ended with telling me he is
    interested in talking about getting back together. he then said if I
    found someone else that he would be happy for me. he asked if I would
    be interested in talking about if a relationship between us again
    would be a good idea. I said a huge part of me does want to try again
    but then there is a part that is hesitant. he said to think about it.
    I have not heard from him since Monday. does he really not care? Is he
    really okay with me dating other men and if I meet someone else? I
    told him I have cried on dates because I am struggling. Did i just
    give him the power back? Is he using my pain to build himself up? Is
    he waiting to see if he can meet someone else and just keeping me on
    the back burner? He did say that he could go out with the most
    beautiful woman but would still think about me? What is he trying to
    say? Why is he not fighting for me? if he truly does want me back, why
    would he not try to contact me again after telling me this? Should I
    just keep moving on with my life until I hear from him again? I really
    NEED your help!

    My biggest question is, do I wait to hear from him now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 29, 2017 at 12:33 am

      He said you should think about it because you were unsure, so, he’s probably waiting for you to initiate.. if you want to give him a chance, lay out your conditions.

  2. Lisa

    February 16, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    Hi ,
    So I sent my ex the first text after no contact a couple weeks ago and he replied positively. I then waited two more days to send the second text after no contact and no reply .i then waited a week as advised by Amor and sent him a video text saying I saw a video I thought he would like and he replied neutral saying ” That’s awesome!” But he since accepted my friend request on fb since he deleted me before and he even liked my Facebook page. What do you think? Does the situation look like it’s going good? Is it normal that he only responded neutral ? Can I go along with the recovery pro process and wait two days to send another text? Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 17, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      HI lisa,

      yeah, I think you can text again after 2 days.. that’s common that he would only reply like that but what’s good is he has added you back as an fb friend..

  3. Em

    February 12, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    Hey there, so my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 7 months and it seems like he is getting bored of me. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes we just run out of things to talk about. I was wondering if there is anything I can do? I really really don’t want to lose him he’s everything to me. The last girlfriend he broke up with was because he was bored of her. Please help. We just need to respark something.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2017 at 9:46 pm

      Hi Em,

      have you checked this one?
      How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

      if you did, what are the steps you are actively doing right now to follow the advice there?

  4. Britt

    February 11, 2017 at 11:23 am

    Hey guys, need some urgent help/opinion

    Because of how hot and cold my ex had been I went into an NC phase again, and it seemed like he had noticed I wasn’t talking to him because he would still intermittently check my social media. I was going to message him today or tomorrow, because he had been checking my social media as well as he oddly opened the last message I sent to him which he had been ignoring just a couple days ago.

    But this evening I noticed he untagged himself from a photo of us together on Facebook. I’m so confused why he would do this. He has had to been thinking about me to want to know what I’ve been doing and to see what I said to him last but then the next day to remove himself from a photo of us just seems to strange.

    What could this mean? This has really scared me and I don’t know if I should message him tomorrow or not now.

    Please help asap!!

    1. Britt

      February 13, 2017 at 12:51 am

      This is just the second time I’ve done NC, we were together for just over a year and only broken up once (current break up).

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2017 at 11:59 pm

      but when did you break up? because it’s hard to tell if it’s more because of feelings or he wants you both to fully move on.. if he’s being hot and cold, start dating.. you cant let that hot and cold situation drag too long because that’s also one way of saying you’re just waiting for him and not moving on..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 12, 2017 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Britt,

      it’s probably just to get a reaction out of you.. how many times have you done nc, how long was the relationship and how many times have you been on and off?

  5. Maki

    February 11, 2017 at 6:27 am

    Hi Amor ! I dont know what to do.I was with my ex boyfriend for 2years and a half and for the past year we lived together(he is 30 and i am 23.).Before we started living together he got in trouble with the law and he might go to the jail and during time we lived together he also lost his job.I was always there too suport him,he said he never met a person like me.But things changed during last year,he became very distant,anxious,i was only one working i when i came home he was always there so i think we feel in some kind of rutin.In the begining of dec.2016 he broke up with me,he said i deserve someone better,that he doesn fell like he fall out off love(i said too him that for me love is more than just the honeymoon period) and he needs to put his life in order.I cried and then packed my things and went home to my parents.After that in december he texted me how i am,if i am feeling better and we went for a coffe and he again said that he just doesnt feel in love anymore.o NYE he sent me text wishing me a HNY and they after he congratuleted me for my birthday(i invited him for a drink and he accepted-we had a good time,just normal conversation).After that i didnt contact him for about 10 days because i needed some time for myself.He texted me he still has some of my things if he can bring them over and i said yes.We again went for a drink,had a good time.He told me he has some of my things still.So that was in the end of January(he texted me for my things and how i am,and when i dont answer texts he calls).So yesteday he asked me if we could meet because i still have some legale papers of his(i study law and i asked a friend lawyer for help) and that he will bring my things.We went for a drink and had a great time,we laughed and talked for 2 hours.(he didnt bring me my things he said he forgot them)He asked me after drink if i would like to go eat something and i accepted but before that he needed to go to his apartmant to pick something up i he inveted me in(i said no)he insisted but i said no again so i waited for him outside.After diner our conversation turned to ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends(he is very good friend with his ex-they were together 10years ago ) and i said that we all always go back to our ex(i was thinking him) but i think he thinks i ment my ex before him so i got this feeling he was jealaus.He drove me home we taked some more and when i went home he said it was nice,see you soon.I dont know what to think.Does he still have feelings for me but got bored in our relationship and just needs time to figure some things or is he friend-zoned me ? What should i do ? Since we broke up after a month feeling down i put myself up(i workout,go to work,school,i take care of me more-for the past year it wasnt important to me how i looked only thing that was important was that i was with him).Ohh and i forgot to tell i came across this page a week ago..i purchesed a guide and i dont know if a no contact is what i am suposed to do 2 months after break-up.He isnt angry or anything with me he is always nice when we taked.I know this was very long but THANK YOU for your answer and advice.

    1. Maki

      February 16, 2017 at 6:48 pm

      Hi Amor,so yestrday he asked me to bring me the rest of my stuff and we taked..i asked him if he thinks he made the right desition and he said yes that i deserve better and that he doesnt feel in love anymore.I cried and said i respect his desition and we shoudnt see each other.Today he wrote me that he regrets that things ended this way and i asked him if he ever regrets his desition will he tell me and he promised me he will.Is the no contact rule still good idea for me or should i just give up 🙁 thank you

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 16, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      restart the no contact rule, finish it, and be very active in improving yourself.. Make him regret by your improving yourself. and then slowly rebuild rapport after. If it doesn’t work out at least you still have your better self and then move on.

    3. Britt

      February 14, 2017 at 11:34 am

      We’ve been broken up for 4 months, when we were talking everything seemed to be going well and in the right direction. Is there anything I can do to get him interested again?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 8:58 pm

      thats long.. but being hot and cold doesn’t help you build rapport..he more likely untagged himself to move on.. for me you should too but if you really want to try one last time, when you’re trying to build rapport, build rapport consistently.. follow the tide theory..if he’s not responding, then it’s really time to move on

    5. Maki

      February 13, 2017 at 8:39 am

      For how long should i do the no contact-21 or 30 days

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2017 at 1:41 pm

      I think you should do at least 30 days

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 12, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      Hi Maki,

      maybe he got bored of the relationship but right now, you’re more likely friendzoned.. I don’t think it’s too late to start nc.. You can start the count week ago, but if you still kept talking last week, start the count at first day you stopped initiating and responding to his texts

  6. Anon

    February 10, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Amor, just had an awkward run in with the ex, before NC ended. I was drunk. He saw me. What should I do?

    1. Anon

      February 10, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      I left out *would have talked more due to the influence of alcohol. But the exchange was cut short. Do I extend NC or continue as planned?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2017 at 11:41 pm

      hmm.. I think you should just continue as planned..since you didn’t talk or said anything about feelings and the relationship

    3. Anon

      February 10, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      Yeah we exchanged hellos and an awkward hug. I probably would’ve talked more but I also got the impression he was avoiding eye contact and conversation.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2017 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Anon,

      did you talk to him? If not, just continue the nc period..